I Have Slept With BOTH Of My Best Friends And My Boyfriend Is Uncomfortable With It r/Relationships

[@Raaslen]

Story 1: OP basically wrote an essay on why her boyfriend SHOULD be unconfortable

[@kateemma22]

'Take a shot every time OP mentions how good John is in bed' end up in an alcohol-induced coma.

[@cl5470]

It's clearly incel fanfiction.

[@enzothebaker22]

Tru dat. Only in a woman's mind is this ok. Looks like a duck, quacks like a duck, craps down by the pond...it's a duck. Kick the duck to the curb.

[@jakeand9020]

Why should he be uncomfortable, she just said John was amazing at sex, a lot, and the only reason they are not together is because he won't try to get help for his "issues." It's so weird he'd be uncomfortable with them drinking alone together when she said they kept hooking up because they couldn't control themselves. I mean, it's obviously just a guy being weirdly insecure and unreasonable for no reason. Update: So she's been sleeping with John the whole time and now he's being unreasonable for being upset she's leaving the country for a few months. I would agree with the incel fanfic, but then she would have ended up with John.

[@jwbrooks55]

So her two best friends in the whole world just happen to be guys. Already a huge red flag. Oh, what’s that, she slept with both of them one in which she described as the best sex of her life? That they still openly discuss it to this day? I just can’t imagine why OP’s boyfriend is uncomfortable.

[@caelum8160]

Story 1: I love how OP said it was weird her bf was uncomfortable with her drinking and being alone with John even though she literally said herself the reason she moved out was because they couldn't "control themselves". Already a big red flag there, they are adults with full control over their bodies, they can control themselves, they are just choosing not to. And she also said that her being drunk was another catalyst for her hooking up with John as well as being alone. And now she's in a situation where she's alone with John and drinking and thinks her bf has nothing to worry about? The lack of self-awarness is insane lol ETA: I forgot to mention, she also said he's a womanizer and OP you're a woman too, being his friend doesn't change that, he'll treat you just like every other woman in his life.

[@DerekScottBland]

Not to mention the comment of "just because two people have great sex doesn't mean they're in love." I can see that being interpreted as her thinking it's ok to have sex with the guy again sometime because it's just sex, they're not in love.

[@ronhall5395]

She was completely delusional. yes he had strong feelings for her. If he was in a committed relationship, why was he running over to be home alone with her every time her BF had to work late. Him bringing up the fact that the sex was great between them after all yr these years show she wanted you back. I am no relationship genius, but the dude was trying to get with you, convince you he was rightforyou. Of he was bring up past sexual encounters, it was time to kill that friendship. Obviously he had deep NBA even if you did not.

[@WobblesandBean]

Eh, I can see both sides tbh. She has a point, just cuz they hooked up in the past doesn't mean she's going to again. I've hooked up with some of my guy best friends in the past, but I'd never dream of doing it when I was in a committed relationship. It's not reasonable to demand your partner to drop your friendships like that unless that friend is toxic or actively trying to undermine the relationship.

[@caelum8160]

@@DerekScottBland Right, and if she wanted an open relationship, she should have been honest about it to begin, same with her past with John. He wasn't just an ex, he was a constant part of her life at that point , and Sam deserved to know. I couldn't imagine how he felt after learning about that 4 years in, I'm surprised the relationship survived.

[@ps9501]

@@WobblesandBean Let's be honest here. Half of her post was literally explaining how much she hooked up with John, how great it was and they couldn't control themselves. You are delusional if you claim that you wouldn't feel jealous if this was your partner.

[@aconvowithcrissee222]

The second she said "MIND BLOWING" about the sex w John I defintely raised an eyebrow like why are you telling us this? Is that important to the story? Literally why is how good it was pertinent to the story

[@nonyabiznez38]

Because she’s not over him

[@k3upikachu]

It really does sound like she still wants it 😂 like I've had great sex with past partners, but it's not something I remember fondly because the chemistry with my boyfriend has superceded anything I had with someone else. Sex I had years ago is so irrelevant to my current relationship

[@upyourasteriod4494]

@@k3upikachu yo that's what happened in the beginning of my relationship. My gf would try to bring up her old relationship past about the sex life now she doesn't. Though we have been together almost 4 years

[@ronhall5395]

I think it is important to the story because John brought it up in conversation, not knowing her fiance had entered the house. She admitted to the sex being great but that was about the only thing she liked about him. Still why is she so paranoid about being home alone? Why does she need so much attention from males? I would be very uncomfortable with this situation if I were her BF. My current wife was in a relationship for a few years when we first met. We were in college and would study together at times. Her BF did not like it. Of course it was never a one on one thing. We had a group of two females and three guys that would meet at the Library to study. Well dude threatened a few of the guys. I thought that was weird. He looked at me a few times but never said a word to me. As time went on, several years later we would hang out, again as a group of people on Friday nights. I am sure she told him that nothing was going on between us. Which is true. Her roommates and another male friend hung out for drinks and usually order a pizza on Friday night. As college students, no real dating time. Lack of money and time. Well we eventually started dating sort of. Basically just splitting meals together. Been married now over 40 yrs. So being just a friend is total BS if she one day decides she wants more.

[@johnsmith-kt7ef]

@@k3upikachu its bc she mentally equates great sex to love.

[@Germania72]

She lied to him about her relationship with John, why? That's the base of her boyfriend's issue with her, that she was withholding information from him.

[@tabithavanderpool418]

Yeah that's the biggest problem with the story "she's trying to pretend it's because of their sexual past but her bf knew about one of them and was fine just not the other. It's because he didn't know that's making him nervous

[@tallyp.7643]

Funny thing, with a lot of these stories, THAT is usually the big issue with all of them. Be transparent with each other and you won't have bloody stupid rom-com fodder to take to Reddit and complain about. And her figuring out John had feelings for her... guess she comes from the old school that still believes guys only want action and convenience vs. emotional attachment during sex. He probably did the on-again, off-again FWB roommate thing hoping she'd develop feelings. Or he figured it out too late. Yeah, awkward as hell. But this one's one of the stories that shows Reddit has it's good side, even when it's being harsh. Some folks need others to point out their behavior before they recognize the problem, and she did. How awkward, though. Sheesh.

[@gostavoadolfos2023]

There is a pattern here she has 3 male best friends and she slept with them, Sam was more than a co-worker and they shared intimate conversations and he is just the number 3 on her list which will go on after she changes country and job.

[@Musiyca]

Story 1: OP really needs friends. Not only she's around people she slept with, they are also coworkers, all of them. That's the worst mix possible. Glad she's changing jobs now.

[@Aaron-kj8dv]

She's just gonna bang all of the dudes at her new work

[@Musiyca]

@@holographicwing That's what people still don't grasp - once you cross the line and hook up with your friend it's not a friendship anymore. One side always catches some feelings in the middle of things. OP not having any expectations for the womanizer was probably why he got attracted to her more than his other hook ups. Others seemed clingy while OP was just having fun. On top of that, they also seen each other in domestic setup at home and proffesional view at work. Dude played himself though for never speaking up before her wedding. But yes, people need friends from different circles, not just from work or old flings.

[@lynnw7155]

Being with someone who has sex with people and it "doesn't mean anything" would bother me. If sex really doesn't mean anything to her, what would stop her from having sex with anyone, anytime. That would make me uncomfortable.

[@gaaraxnaru]

@@lynnw7155 I disagree that believing uncommitted sex is meaningless means they'll cheat, but I can see your perspective. Cheaters suck.

[@Wishfull171]

Seriously only close guy friends whose she slept with, no female friends, dated a coworker, hanging with only coworkers. She needs platonic female friends outside of her job etc.

[@peteranon8455]

Story 2. YTA. If your wife paid the rent while you saved, you just denied her contribution to the house.

[@jimmieloop8587]

Your assuming he was saving towards the house when she paid rent. He never said that. But by the same notion, does OP not get credit for paying rent "all that time" before the house? But a lot of people made this mistake. Also its very smart to have somebody outside the house store a copy. Wife is the AH.....

[@partyshoes2917]

I wonder how she would react if it was her boyfriend hanging out with a woman he had a purely physical relationship with 🤔

[@drippystaff5657]

"ThAtS dIiFfErEnT " is my guess

[@truthseeker9249]

I wouldn't care. Everyone has a sexual past and I would never have a problem with it if it was my boyfriend. A. Because I trust him. And B. Because I'm secure enough in myself to know that he would never want anyone else.

[@Dk-ie4te]

@@truthseeker9249 good for you,but different people have different set of boundaries in a relationship just like sexual preferences.

[@truthseeker9249]

@@Dk-ie4te Even if the boundaries are weird and ridiculous? If you're so insecure about something happening between your partner and someone else then quit wasting your time and just end the relationship. It's that simple. Instead of making demands that your partner will definitely not listen to, just break up with them and find someone who fits what you want in a partner. Cause if you sit there and try to tell your partner to stop hanging out with someone just because they have a history, you're just driving your partner away and making a fool of yourself. If things are really at that point breaking up will be way less painful for everyone involved. It's okay if you don't feel this way but that's what I think.

[@smokey_mcbong]

​@@truthseeker9249 I find it hillarious that women have ridiculous standards when it comes to men but hwne when men have certain standards and boundaries they get shamed and mocked for it especially when it comes to their sexual past thinking that everyone should accept it? No man worth any self-respect likes dating women with a promiscuous past especially when they have slept with multiple men who happen to be good friends of their current partner. I guess its true if women don't have double standards, then they have no standards at all.

[@SilentTheViewer]

Gay man here with 2 male best friends I would feel uncomfortable if I knew I slept with both of my best friends it just feels as wrong as it sounds

[@Chris4748]

Me too. My now husband, back when we were dating, was a bit of a slut. We'd go out to bars or to pride events and past flings would come up hugging and groping him all suggestively as though I wasn't there. He didn't understand my being upset at this, and I explained he didn't understand because the same wasn't happening with me.. he didn't see guys I'd been with running over and grabbing at me and me being all ok with it as though he's not even there. Years later while at a club dancing, a dude came up to me when I hady shirt open and started rubbing me and tried to go for my pants... My bf was dancing up against my back (his front to my back) and when he realized what this guy was trying to do, he about flipped his shite. After that, he was much more understanding of how I felt when that stuff happened with him in front of me, and what's worse about it, is that he'd actually had sex with them, I didn't even know the guy that came at me on the dance floor. I always operated under the "friends are just friends" logic, and avoided ever getting sexual with anyone that was staying in my life (minus actual bf's)

[@dillongage]

Exactly. Once you put your penis inside someone, or vice versa, that relationship is permantely altered. Im straight, and Ive had a female best friend since I was 6. I dont even feel comfortable seeing her in bikinis. Its weird. I dont want to see her in any sexual light, because once I do I wont be able to turn that off. Thats just not how it works. The one time she asked me to help with her sunscreen I literally walked away and found the nearest random woman to help her. No way am I rubbing lotion all over your back girl.

[@helenlewis2510]

I read this the other day and I firmly believe op was still knocking boots with John longer than she admitted

[@dm9078]

Absolutely

[@johnsmith-kt7ef]

I had this ex/fwb situation in my past. It lasted longer than it should have but we had great chemistry in the bed room. We ended up stopping bc we both met other people and went into a relationship with those people. I told my new gf at the time the truth about our "friendship", my ex/fwb didnt tell her bf. Her boyfriend found out later and dumped her then she tried to come between me and my gf and I had to cut her out of my life completely. This is also why I don't keep ex's or ex flings around in my life and its a boundary for me with the woman I date as well.

[@WobblesandBean]

@@johnsmith-kt7ef I don't think it should be a boundary as long as it's kept in the past where it belongs. Most people have done it at least once; I have, and so have you. Just cuz someone has hooked up with a friend years ago doesn't give you the right to demand your partner cut all contact with that person. It'd be the same for you. OP's case and what you experienced are obviously exceptions to that, most people don't spend so much time with their former hookups even if they ARE best friends. And in both of your cases, your former FWB tried to undermine the relationship with your SO.

[@Russman67]

Yeah that line seems a little too specific to be believed. Especially if the sex was "that good".

[@helenlewis2510]

@@Russman67 5:15 she says “have” instead of “had” and that’s a huge slip

[@pearbear6418]

Story 2: I like how when the wife pointed out how she did contribute to the purchase of the house by paying for them while he saved, he changes the topic lol.

[@kaylaelliott6890]

The first story just kept on hitting me like a truck line after line 😭😭

[@A_Little_Bit_Of_Everything06]

Same, it was like ok, yeah, ok, sounds ok, oh, oh, well...

[@catandrobbyflores]

I'm surprised you haven't isekaied by now.

[@Minycart]

@@A_Little_Bit_Of_Everything06 like omg, like yeah, so?, like lol, haha like.

[@ginathecookie]

@@A_Little_Bit_Of_Everything06 my exact reaction.. Im glad OP woke up and they both worked things out

[@A_Little_Bit_Of_Everything06]

@@ginathecookie same!

[@k3upikachu]

I used to be fwb with a guy who remained one of my close friends after we stopped hooking up. I last saw him this past summer when I visited my brother in NYC and met up with this friend in Central Park to catch up. It made my bf very anxious, so I've toned down my communication with that friend and would never be alone with him. Even though I know I would never hook up with this friend again, and would never cheat, I can see where he's coming from and would feel the same if he had a female friend who was a former hookup. I think that's just basic respect and empathy you show the person you're with.

[@k3upikachu]

Also, she mentioned several times how great the sex was between them and how they couldn't control themselves I think that's really sketchy lol. Especially considering they're drinking alone in the house when they know he won't be home. To not understand why her boyfriend wasn't okay with that is really dumb. I think he was being more than cool about it. Not very many people would be okay with their partner drinking at home with the opposite sex while they were stuck at work

[@WobblesandBean]

@@k3upikachu I think that's the only reason why OP is TA. Simply hooking up with a friend years ago isn't a reason to break up with someone, it's very common, especially in your 20s as OP was. I've done it, you have, too. But bragging about how mind-blowing it was while your own bf is nearby? Come on, now. 🙄 And sure enough, John had a crush on OP. Because of course he did.

[@Aaron-kj8dv]

She knows what she's doing. Her update about the guy being in love with her, you could tell she was loving it.

[@drippystaff5657]

"toned down" girl if you really loved your bf you wouldn't be speaking to this "friend" full stop. Even as a guy I would never continue to be friends with a girl I've hooked up in the past when I've got a gf. It's just disrespectful

[@ultimatedumbass4640]

@@drippystaff5657 Facts, it's insanely hurtful and disrespectful. This is also why I would never date someone who would have sex and do casual hookups when not in a relationship either. Shows that they don't value sexual intimacy to be just between two partners in a relationship.

[@lorijean]

Second story YTA the wife paid the bills while he saved for the house, yet according to OP his wife "didn't pay anything towards the house " yet he only has his name on the deed, he used her for paying all the bills thinking her name would also be on the deed

[@AndyyWithAY]

I think Sam made a terrible mistake marrying OP. She's incredibly immature and lacking in self awareness. She better cherish Sam because he can most definitely do better than her.

[@EM3SonSon]

She hooked up with two of her "bestfriends" multiple time and guess what? Her husband also was another "bestfriend" of hers as she says at 4:05. Do you see any pattern here? xD

[@digit5465]

@@EM3SonSon she wants to hookup with people she considers best friends, no one else

[@dart.115]

Are we just ignoring the fact that OP then took all the correct steps after the feedback? Sounds like a perfect example of someone realizing where they went wrong and improving themselves accordingly

[@AndyyWithAY]

@@dart.115 If you want to marry someone like OP, you do you. I don't think she's changed at all and she's a walking red flag. I would have broken up with her and definitely not marry in a million years.

[@j.j.juggernaut9709]

You think hooking up with people you know well os somehow worse than having one night stands with random strangers every day 🤣 OP might be a bit immature in her way of thinking but jeez you people find all excuse to st*t shame women

[@Bleg94]

1. Story: so ... most of OPs story was about how great the sex with her two bffs was, how the biggest reason she started having sex with her second bff were being bored and drunk, so she decided to hang out and drink with that bff in the night / evening because she was ... bored? and then she is confused about her boyfriend being jealous when all he heard is how great the sex with her bff is/was AFTER she even lied about the reason for moving out which was at the very beginning of their whole relationship?

[@brandyb2931]

Yeah, he's gonna find out when she divorces him that half of "his" house belongs to her.

[@TheIronwil]

Story 1: I feel sorry for OP's husband. Anyone this clueless and deceitful won't last in the long road of marriage. "Oh, so I didn't tell you, but I used to have mind-blowing sex with John and though we tried to stop many times, we just couldn't control ourselves. Now I like to have him over drinking ALONE with me at home while you're working late. Wait... this upsets you?" The stupidity of this scenario just beggars my credulity.

[@PinkMarshmallows]

Story 1: Hold on, hold on. OP just said that she and John both of partners, but that didn't stop them from screwing when John was with his ex that came back into his life. So what OP just said doesn't matter. I'm with OP's bf (hopefully ex as he dumps her ass) on this one. After update: Nah, I still don't believe her about how everyone was single at the time. If she really meant it, then she would have edited her post to include that tidbit in. I'm also, disappointed in the bf for marrying her. Dude needs a spine.

[@alamobirds3115]

That Story 1 OP was sure something else. In what universe is it okay to keep a secret like that from your long term bf?

[@paulinejackson5861]

It's fine because a woman's past doesn't matter.

[@akkiko]

imma be real here- i honestly don't see the issue. they used to sleep together before she and her bf became a couple. why is that a concern? is she supposed to point at every man she slept with and say "hey we took a roll in the sheets"? at what point is that not keeping secrets and rubbing it in his face?

[@orchidoxs126]

​​@@akkikoMerely telling yyour partner you had history with your friend is not rubbing it in their face. Rubbing it in their face would be going on and on about how good the sex was. And clearly not being upfront is how you get situations like this happening. And if it's truly just not a big deal, why not just be upfront about it? Like pointing out every men she's ever been with is silly but people you are in close contact with everyday, I think is just pretty reasonable to just tell your partner.

[@GLoLChibs]

"Neither of these men are good enough to date but I've no problem sleeping with them". And she calls others 'subpar'.. has no self control. Lied about why she moved out of Johns place. Cant stay home alone when Sam is working late so she HAS to have someone over. Chips on crackers OP is a walking red flag parade. OP has a history of hooking up with men she considers great friends, keeps the guys around who have had feelings for her and she keeps on call for when Sam sometimes has to work late because gods forbid she be an adult and manage by herself for a few hours, THEN refuses to look in the mirror and attacks Sam. Poor Sam. He's dating a manizer that started a relationship with him by lying via omission and took away his right to make an informed decision.

[@Aaron-kj8dv]

Also banged everyone at her old job apparently lol

[@hungrymusicwolf]

Story 1: even in the update she still tries to blame it on "John's feelings for her". In reality it was her actions of maintaining an inappropriate relationship that was the main issue, with her disregarding her partners emotions as "unreasonable" the moment they're not convenient for her being a strong secondary problem. I still wouldn't trust her with her shifting blame for her actions to someone else. Story 2: Privacy is important, and disregarding your partners emotional needs and not even taking a second to figuring out why makes you the AH no matter what.

[@tofumar]

This guy deserves better and he should never have married her.

[@01wonderful]

Sounds like OP needs therapy as well, she's dismissing her bf's feelings like no tomorrow.....ofc poor guy is insecure when his gf boasts how good sex was with this other dude....give me a break.... Edit: also the update sounds like bullshit....

[@GiordanDiodato]

I wonder if Sam was cheated on by his ex-wife.

[@WobblesandBean]

He IS being too insecure, but she also is a conkwocket for boasting loudly about how great the se× was while her bf was present. That's a donk move no matter the circumstances.

[@johnsmith-kt7ef]

@@WobblesandBean no she lied to him "john was my roommate i moved out bc i was an adult and needed my own place." Dont play the babe in the woods card, she knew what she was doing.

[@nationalsocialism3504]

@@WobblesandBean yeah... too "insecure" about putting his wildly inappropriate gf in her place. If he is not secure about his boundaries (and having your mate engage in pre-fucking mating behaviors with other men should be the baseline of all men's boundaries) then its unsurprising why she has carried on this atrocious behavior for years

[@peteranon8455]

@@WobblesandBean I think every man is too insecure to date OP exclusively. It simply shouldn't be done.

[@shadewolfe1231]

OMG Story 2 - Read it on Reddit and was absolutely livid with OP.

[@ErdriedDeirdre]

I've never heard of a FWB situation where someone didn't eventually have feelings for the other person. So 1st story was about what I was expecting.

[@Mkay999]

Story 2: the wife should stop paying towards the mortgage or utilities so she can save money to buy a house in just her name 😘😘

[@nonyabiznez38]

I hope the guy in story 1 runs for the hills! She told him about her history with one of the friends but not the other? That’s weird. She has this guy over alone and drunk and admits she has no self control and they have great drunk sex. She is nothing but red flags. I have a male best friend too but we chat on messenger and occasionally swap TikTok’s. We don’t talk about sex, we don’t stay alone together, and we’ve certainly never slept together. Jesus Christ, people have no control

[@floraposteschild4184]

Agreed. I'd even run when I heard one of her "best friends" (why doesn't she seem to have any female friends BTW?) has severe mental issues he refuses treatment for.

[@drakedragon4572]

Sadly the got married

[@sonialinsey8083]

My male friend and I talk about sex but he’s gay af so I don’t think it’s the same lol.

[@randomusername3873]

@@sonialinsey8083 I mean, talking about sex is one thing, talking about the sex between each other another😂

[@AndreNDP]

I don't think being sex positive is a deal killer necessarily, but you can't just expect him to be cool with the fact that she's got incompatible sexual desires with him.

[@drippystaff5657]

Alot of these "modern" women expect a man to have them how they are for men to not have standards or wants it's ridiculous

[@MuDkipzCHancelLOr]

Sex positive is the worst std, it rots the brain.

[@antithoughtpolice7497]

Yeah, they just don't like a cuck's personality, but that's the only kind of man that would be cool with this

[@morphinpink]

@@drippystaff5657 no bitches?

[@drippystaff5657]

@@morphinpink literally has no correlation to what I said That's like me saying you're probably an ugly when I don't even know you 😂

[@britvica]

Slept with both of her best friends? Hell no. I'd broke that relationship on the spot. She is not normal.

[@britvica]

Nooo please don't make new friend, she's gonna end up effing them too.

[@pucca95776]

this was before she dated him ?

[@britvica]

@@pucca95776 immediate before. Days before. Even if not. You don't sleep, you don't go f with benefits with your best friend. That is not friendship. These people are supposed to be your friends whole your life. People who have sex with friends either have no boundaries or simply use people.

[@Bleg94]

@@pucca95776 so? she lied about that part because she knew it could be an issue

[@samoanjoseph1457]

Story 1: Three huge problems I see: 1) "the thought of a relationship with either one is unfathomable": I'm less worried about that and more worried about the "non-relationship" sex that kept happening with John. OP admitted she couldn't stop and had no self control around John "at the time", but notice that she continued sleeping with him since then... 2) OP started sleeping with John despite knowing he was a womanizer with personal problems. So I see no reason to think she couldn't sleep with him again despite knowing it was a bad idea. Also, the fact she doesn't consider having slept with John days before she started dating Sam a big deal worries me. So as recently as days before this new relationship she STILL hadn't stopped being intimate with John. To me that means she still didn't have a firm handle on what she feels for him. If she did, she could have stopped. You could argue there was no reason for her to stop then, other than the fact she already knew he was no good for her. But that didn't stop her. I dunno about Sam but I couldn't be with someone that's clearly still too attached to a guy she had great sex with days before. 3) I can't stop laughing at the pattern that every time either OP or John is about to start a new relationship, they immediately sleep together "one last time" and don't think the new person is supposed to care or is entitled to know.

[@EM3SonSon]

There is another pattern too. OP's husband also was one of her "bestfriend" as she says at 4:05

[@delmarhi]

She lied by omission and wanted everyone to skip that part. Nevermind that the vast majority of cheating happens with coworkers. She discounts his feelings. They are through. Update: great job… communication and compromise. Good luck and congratulations. Happy surprise and good to see humans growing

[@LaineyBug2020]

Story 2- would have loved to see OP's responses or reactions to the comments/judgment!

[@coreymartin6486]

"Are you really leaving?" "We haven't spoken in months, why wouldn't you think I was?" Wrooooong way to have handled it. This could give the impression to John that if he were friendlier lately than OP might have stayed. Op should have said, "of course I'm going with my husband/love of my life" To contingency of Op leaving should be stressed it's because of her husband, not because of John's lack of friendliness. Guys like John will desperatly hold onto any hope they can grab. Why else do you think that à year later he still had hope? Op had an opportunity to squash that hope....and instead kept it alive.

[@enjolireyes643]

16:01 says all you need to know about Story 2! 😂😂😂 Thanks Mark for the honest laugh at just that comment alone!

[@jessicaparker2011]

I've never slept with my male bff. I would never sleep with him.

[@albertgongora6944]

Yeah I'm going to just say this on the first story the boyfriends just better off breaking up with the op because the thing that the op doesn't get is her boyfriend jealous that the people she supposedly called her best friends were also people she had friends with benefits with and the fact that she continued to have it as they were barely entering their relationship I don't blame the boyfriend for being angry in the first place especially if I don't know if they can end up doing this behind my back or end up cheating on me the very moment they feel that I'm away for a long time

[@luciferandassociates9255]

Story 2: am I the weird one for giving my parents a copy of my house key? I'm starting to feel like I'm the nutcase here.

[@champslim]

My neighbor had a key for emergencies when I was growing up.

[@Bleg94]

I even have a key to the house of my brother where he moved with his gf

[@LadyPii]

Me and my sister have each other's keys. If one of us travels, the other goes to feed the pets. It's not like we visit unannounced or go through other's stuff.

[@klutzyalice3952]

Your not weird to do so, problem was he’s married and didn’t talk about giving the key away, and when she mentioned it made her uncomfortable he dismisses her concern. If you live alone do what you what you want with your house key, the problem was he isn’t alone

[@sablemoreno5095]

My grandpa was the only one close enough to me and my mom so he has a key (sister moved close recently), but we don't ever have anyone visit pretty much ever so the "coming over unannounced" has NEVER been an issue. (legit, in 10 years at our previous house only 2 times to visit outside of move in and move out, with a few months of my grandpa moving in while he was finishing out work before retirement since grandma and my aunt moved out of state). The most was one friend we don't talk to anymore (since we bought this house) and thats 2 separate times. We've had 4 total times people visited and 1 was before we even properly moved in. Perhaps it's been a luxury we don't get people to come over, but it just seems weird to no give a parent or trusted relative the spare key. (I don't talk to neighbors and never have, so I personally don't see that option unless your family is out of state, not there or you're completely on your own)

[@MaddieLoftin]

I saw the second story on Reddit right after it was posted and I was just WAITING for you to cover it ❤️

[@nareegreel]

She knows damn well that most people would find it messed. That's why she purposefully left out that she slept with her "bestie." I would never date a guy who had sex with his best friends. I wouldn't even consider a guy who ducked all his "best friends."

[@Jack-kx5rf]

Everyone missing that she said that she started dating Sam when she told him about looking for a place to live so she was still living with John when they started dating. Yet on the day she moved out they had “one last night of sex”. So unless OP is lying about the timeline she’s already cheated on Sam.

[@johnatandelacuso4174]

Before the update on story 1: anyone else weirded out by how in detail OP described her relationship with John and how she kinda skimmed over her rrlationship with her actual bf?

[@sadia6503]

The op from story one doesn't sound very malicious, she just sounds like she's tone deaf and wasn't approaching the situation properly. I'm glad she's grown as a person after that, even if I think her bf leaving her would have also been a great solution.

[@starbird3939]

Story 1 I would have broken up with OP. If getting drunk and being alone is what sparks sex, Then do not be alone and drink. Also John is a womanizer

[@kaijumage5379]

Story 1: Several thoughts on this one. 1. You can tell how much the OP loves Sam and cares about his feelings when she says that readers can skip the part where she talks about him and their relationship. 2. She wouldn't get involved with her friends again because everyone is currently in relationships? 😐 Is this woman completely new to Reddit? It's bursting with stories about relationships that were ruined when one partner started cheating with someone who began as a "platonic" friend. 3. John was displaying more red flags than a Chinese military parade. Was the OP really that naive or was she willfully ignorant? 4. I'm highly suspicious of the night Sam caught OP and John alone. Honestly feels like she was a few drinks and 30 minutes away from having to title her post "BF caught me cheating with an old FWB. How can I fix this?" 5. Props to the first comment Mark read. I think they nailed how Sam was feeling and gave great advice.

[@TheSwagger81]

OP says they wouldn’t talk about their hookups, then the BF overhears them talk about their great sex. And she’s OK with casual hookups? Red flags all over. Run, dude. RUN

[@alloveragain8592]

And that dumbass married her... i just feel sorry for him. She's a walking pile of red flags and seemingly a great manipulator too

[@leaflet1686]

Just imagine the anger and betrayal and sadness you feel when you paid YEARS for your SO, so that you can life in a house one day. And then get told in your face: Nope, f off, all mine ;P Divorce right now...

[@paulastiles5507]

Story #2: Listen, Oedipus, you can acknowledge your wife's very valid feelings or you can lose that house you tried to cheat her out of, in your divorce. She lives there. She contributed financially to the house. She's married to you. She gets a veto and if she's not comfortable with your mom having a key, that should be the end of the conversation, unless you no longer want to be married.

[@ejp99]

Story 1 - John caught feelings from FWB and realized he was in love with OP but didn’t relay his feelings in time. He felt rejected and tried to stay away from OP cause he couldn’t deal with his feelings.

[@brettemiller8046]

Last story: I don't believe the relationship between his wife and mother is as good as he says. He's lieing about his wife's contribution to the house and doesn't see it as her house equally, so why should we believe he takes his wife's feelings about his mother into account?

[@randomusername3873]

"Your wife is an asshole for not wanting someone to have a key to your house" No she is not

[@dangomez5649]

Story 1:how many arguments are you away from ending back up in John's bed. If you ever actually stopped sleeping with him

[@michaelwoods3651]

What is it with people acting like your past doesn’t matter! She knew her boyfriend wouldn’t be thrilled, which is why she hid it from him. I wouldn’t be crazy about my girlfriend being best friends with people she had a sexual relationship with. Guaranteed she wouldn’t be happy if the roles were reversed. Major red flags! I wouldn’t trust her to not cheat.

[@MrBuns-yi2hk]

I'll never get people who say sex means nothing. It does. When you have sex with someone, you are sharing part of yourself with them in an intimate and vulnerable way. I wouldn't be comfortable with my partner hanging around his exes. Edit: update pretty much confirmed it. The "friend with benifits" was super into her.

[@ultimatedumbass4640]

Absolute facts

[@victoriaherndon6857]

Especially when it at least sounds like she's only had a handful of partners. Like, it didn't mean anything? Living in the same house as your FWB for 8 months and you never tell your boyfriend of 4 years? I would have asked her the nature of their relationship early on with their shady energy.

[@truthseeker9249]

Speak for yourself. Some people really are capable of having sex with someone and not feeling anything romantic. If anything it's wishful thinking to think that everyone takes sex seriously because most people don't. Sex is mainly a physical thing and sometimes it really is just that. Having an emotional connection does make sex better (even if the person is awful in bed) but it's not required. You can have good sex with someone you don't care about. I know I have.

[@MrBuns-yi2hk]

@@truthseeker9249 k pal

[@lewisqb12]

@@MrBuns-yi2hk lol he’s preaching facts😂 if that wasn’t the case there wouldn’t be so much cheating. Sexual desires aren’t not indicative of personal romantic feeling toward the other party. It’s a carnal desire.

[@owl7072]

Mark don't apologize for singing in the intro 🔫 /lh Seriously it's a mood

[@MarkNarrations]

Hah thanks Owl, after a burst of singing I'm always like "bloody hell where did that come from" :)

[@owl7072]

@@MarkNarrations honestly, same lol. I do that whenever I'm excited about something.

[@yque4733]

Story #1: Amount of 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩 by OP.

[@llamabrat07]

Story 2, it’s not just that he is claiming the house as solely his because he’s the only one who put in money directly toward the house & is using that as justification to be able to give a spare key for emergencies to his mom without talking to his wife. It’s that he made a major decision about how is allowed access to their home without consulting her at all. He is a massive AH. OP’s s/o is his WIFE, not a girlfriend, or even a fiancé. They are married and should be partnership. I bet he didn’t listen to her input at all in deciding what house to buy cus “it’s my money paying for it”, when the only reason he could afford to buy it by himself this soon was his wife paid for everything so he could save. The wife needs to run before they have kids. With OP’s entitled attitude I don’t see any way to save the marriage.

[@pauldavisjr.3284]

That last op should show his wife more respect then what he's shown her. His outlook is a very fast way to find himself in divorce court

[@tephrafalls6321]

Lying by omission is a real thing. Get your act together OP.

[@walterbryant8806]

I love when people hide things and then act all shocked when the thing they were hiding pisses the person they were hiding it from is pissed.

[@shaetoons3602]

Story 1: I'm glad Op and her BF were able to work things out but if I were the BF I would've broke things off. There's no way I would be able to get over that.

[@AndyyWithAY]

Story 2 OP is such an AH. He was wrong to put the house solely in his name first of all. The wife is not TA to not want the mom to have a key. Both people should enthusiastically consent to who gets a house key. OP sounds like a mumma's boy and his rose colored glasses may be tinted the wife's relationship with MIL. Even if their relationship is actually great, that doesn't mean she wants MIL to have a key.

[@nonyabiznez38]

I was thinking the SAME thing

[@MONKEYDZETS]

He not wrong

[@amandasunshine2]

Did any of y'all also get missing missing reasons vibes? Like he twisted what she actually said and left out important details..

[@AndyyWithAY]

@amanda croft not really but that's because what he DID say was dumb and made him a flaming AH. I've heard this one like 3x now and like OP less each time. He did try to misconstrue things. "I solely saved" but that was possible because wifey paid the bills! What do you think is missing?

[@nonyabiznez38]

@@amandasunshine2 I really feel he’s either leaving stuff out or he genuinely doesn’t know what their relationship is like behind his back. Something is just off. I’d be mad if my husband gave his mom a key to our house because she’s been doing surprise visits lately (no call or text heads up) and if the door is unlocked she’ll just walk right in. And sometimes comes with his aunt who I HATE And even my husband hates it and knows better. I love my MIL but that’s too much.

[@elsaflood6393]

S1. Marrying OP is like marrying a huge red flag.

[@DragonbornMike-ym2er]

OP: This is the last time we have sex, then we'll never talk about it again. Also OP: 'OMG I can't believe your gf is jealous and insecure just because we had GREAT sex before! Oh hi babe, wait... What do you mean you feel the same?" Doesn't help that OP was also misleading about her friendship with the second guy too. And the part about the friend getting back with an ex does sound weird to. Not like an admitting of cheating, but there's also room there to say it's what it sounds like. So if she told her bf the story like that, he might've though that was the case.

[@AlyssHarte]

Off topic but is it just me that hates the phrase “have your cake and eat it too”? Of course I wanna eat my fucking cake! What do you think I should be doing, staring at it? Putting it in the bin? Putting it in resin and then putting it on display for houseguests to admire? 😂😂😂 If I made/paid for a cake, you can be damn sure I’m gonna eat it myself!

[@MarkNarrations]

I love cake.

[@AlyssHarte]

@@MarkNarrations All cake is good cake. I can’t think of a single exception!

[@MarkNarrations]

@@AlyssHarte Then it's settled! CAKE IS GOOD!

[@LeshaAnn]

That saying doesn't make any sense NOW, because over time it has been twisted. The actual adage used to be "You can't eat your cake and have it too.". Like, totally different. Schrodinger's Cake doesn't exist, man!

[@carolroberts4614]

Cake is out in our house!My partner has been diagnosed pre-diabetic. So I miss cake! But I've lost 6lb on his diet, so that's good! I will eat cake when I visit my daughters( roll on Friday!)

[@gobblesnot]

"Part 1: the flings: This one guy, we just hooked up once, let me tell you all the details. The other guy, mind blowing, earth shattering, blah blah blah. Part 2: the boyfriend: meh. You can skip this."

[@MarketingMovies1337]

Story 2: reason why she doesn't want the mum to have a key is maybe she is open to cheat

[@skyelindsey687]

Or maybe the relationship between her and his mom isn’t as good as he depicted. He did gloss over the fact that she paid for everything, most likely coerced into doing so, while he saved for the house. Before she gets trapped with children she needs to run for the hills and, if their state has communal property laws, get half the value of the house from him in the divorce.

[@TheAlphaDingo]

huge red flags that the OP slept with her best friends who work in the same company. Boyfriend should cut and run asap

[@sylviajones6745]

I absolutely hate when there's not an update. Ugh, it's like reading only the 1st part of a book and not getting the end of said book.

[@dianeessex300]

Story 1: Some people equate sex with commitment. I don't judge people who are OK with casual sex, but I'm not, and I wouldn't want to be in a relationship with someone who is. Just as I wouldn't be in a relationship with someone who didn't like kids.

[@IFAMILYIH]

BREAK UP WITH THIS GIRL ASAP

[@fufufuaru]

i hope there'll be an update for story 2, esp from op's wife

[@WildWestRosie]

You mean OP's Ex-wife? Lol

[@doll_dress_swap1269]

@@WildWestRosie let’s hope the update includes her getting the house, 😂

[@WuzzyBlu92]

Story 1: Ignoring any final judgements, but I would feel hella awkward at best if I learned after 4 years that I was hanging around 2 other people, unaware that we all slept with the person I'm dating. That's just weird; weird how NO-ONE brought it up, possibly in an attempt to hide the uncomfortable topic and/or make me look like the fool.

[@CygnusPrime]

*Story 1* From the way OP talks about John she tells us he is the bad boy womanizer type, and how she still worries about him, she is going to cheat with John after her marriage gets boring and her husband has one fight with her. I am saying this because she lacks the self-awareness and control required to be in a committed monogamous relationship, then she will be writing here _Reddit help me save my marriage I made a stupid mistake in a moment of weakness because I was angry with my husband and allowed an ex FWB to sleep with me, I wish I said no and did things differently_

[@fyoutube9410]

Bf shouldn't complain, should just dump her and move on.

[@RelaxingUnderYourSkin]

🤦🏾‍♀️I thought she said she’s been sleeping with her 2 best-friends and her boyfriend for 4 yrs😅…

[@Eric-bl8lp]

Theres consequences to being promiscuous but the current narrative is that you can do whatever you want and people should just accept that. And why is op talking about how mind blowing the sex was with her “best friend”?

[@brandyjoiner9575]

I'm only a few minutes into the first story and I'm already shaking my head. OP really said that the thought of being with either of her two friends is "unfathomable," yet she continues with details on how she got with each of them. Obviously, it was fathomable. SMH

[@ronniec427]

Story 2: YTA. On the key issue alone, I do think that it's good for other's to have a key to your home but you have to decide as a couple who that person will be. OP is a major AH freeloading off his wife and then not putting her on the title. I agree with the commentor who said OP played his wife.

[@michamocha]

Story 1: Op said it was weird for John's gf to feel weird over their relationship but her entire first paragraph and third gives her valid concerns. She and John only stop sleeping with each other when Op physically remove herself from the house because they "couldn't control themselves." Boyfriend and girlfriend had every reasons to feel worried, especially when Op kept stressing about how amazing their sex was. I'm really glad that she actually listened to others and saw her boyfriend's POV. Congrats to the newlyweds. Story 2: Wow, Op is so right. His wife contributed nothing to the house except taking on all of the financial responsibilities so Op can comfortably safe for his house, lol. YTA. It's convenient how he claims she didn't contribute when she's the freaking reason why he was in the position to even save for the house. If he has this beliefs, he should take on responsibility for the mortgage so she can save and buy her own house. It's only fair.

[@MalkavianGhoul]

As soon as OP in the first story described how good it was with her friend I was like, yep I know where this is going

[@deifieddata4462]

"My boyfriend has nothing to worry about"..."My former FWB and I have no self control"

[@KLbelike]

I've have seen people on Reddit try their best to make it seem like they have done nothing wrong when they post. You said when you had s3x with one of them you were drunk what were to happen if you two were in the same situation again? It wouldn't be the same if the roles were reversed. the fact that he didn't even know makes a breach in the relationship. Something makes me feel like something isn't being told bc she said "just because two people have great sex doesn't mean they're in love" the way she said it sounds present

[@Davtwan]

Stories like these are why not saying the truth by omission still counts as lying.

[@nr7701]

Story 1: Glad it worked out with a happy ending. Tbh, Sam shouldn't have been okay with her spending time alone with men so late while waiting for him after work in the first place. I hope she can find some more friends, especially ones that are women.

[@kimberlyplatt2382]

The BF from the first story better run! Run bro! Run!

[@draconisdragonheart4248]

Story 1: She stated she has NO SELF CONTROL. BF has a right to be concern. BF needs to ditch her.

[@jennyanswer42]

Story 2: that logic is astounded. "My money paid for the house so it's my house, you only paid for expenses." Anyway, someone should have a spare key and neither of them should get to decide unanimously who that someone is.

[@JasperCatProductions]

Good grief story let this boyfriend go, you wanting to keep you F buddies around is more important then your boyfriend. You keep going on about your awesome nasty time with this best friend is so gross.

[@macylouwho1187]

I guess I’m too old school. I just don’t understand the concept of having sex with someone without being in a relationship with them-with no feelings being involved. To me sex is such a powerful emotional thing, it’s not something to be taken lightly or messed with like it doesn’t matter. The whole purpose of sex biologically is reproduction, and that can sooooo happen even with birth control measures in place. It happens a lot actually. It’s a game of long odds on if someone that you sleeping with will be there for you or stay with you to parent a child that they helped create if that accidentally happens-especially in countries like the US where abortion rights are under fire and people are being prosecuted for it. It’s not always so easy as “give the kid up for adoption” for many women who can’t emotionally handle carrying a baby full term and then handing it over. Not everyone can do that. And not every adoption story is a happy one, there is often sooo very much emotional trauma and messed up lives from these things even under the best circumstances and families. I have an adopted cousin of sorts on my step dad’s side. He was adopted from Russia before they banned it, and he went into a huge farm family where he was packed around by four older sisters, a mom and dad who cherished him very much because they longed for a boy to complete their family. They took REALLY good care of him and loved him so much. He was in therapy and saw doctors for any issues that arose but the truth is that he’s an emotional wreck and a deeply miserable person. Adoption didn’t save him trauma, not at all. He’s often somewhat suicidal and his parents are constantly keeping tabs on him and watching over him nervously because they don’t know what he might do to himself at any given moment. All of the love/care/worry/doctoring in the world didn’t solve that problem. He never stops feeling rejected by his birth family. It makes him feel bad and worthless that he wasn’t “kept” by his mother. He has problems socializing and can’t get a girlfriend regardless of being a decent looking kid. His emotional baggage is too much for anyone to handle. He has a family who loves him and he stands to inherit a large family farm that the girls don’t want anything to do with. They are all married with lives of their own, and no one wants to take that from him because the one thing he does love is working the land. They even sent him to university to study new methods etc. But “happy” he is NOT unfortunately. I hear most of the time he just wants to unalive himself sadly. Also my MIL was adopted and her adoptive father used her and her sister as sex slaves until both ran away while her so called “mother” looked the other way and blamed them for it. It happened to her from such a young age that she can’t remember when it started. She was too young to remember. When I met her sister, she said the same thing. It did happen like that.

[@Maddluv4eric]

Story 1: Sam definitely needed to leave her. She outta pocket. It is never just sex, and the fact that she kept them as “friends” is literally the reason WHY. She trifling

[@kirksnowden8023]

As they say “ she belongs on the street “ What a 304!

[@chulutheimposter5415]

Hello Mark!! How are you doing today? I hope all is well and I wish you a great day!! You too fellow Waffles! KZbin hasn't given me notifications in a few days, glad it gave me one today

[@MarkNarrations]

Typical KZbin!

[@jenniferhanses7064]

Story 2: YTA. You and your wife bought the house together. You and your wife need to be on the same page about the household, and you need to shut up about how it's your house because it was your money. That's not how marriage works. And you're going to keep being TA now, because taking the key back is also going to be a TA move as it's an insult to your mom, basically telling her that you're suspicious of her. In regards to an emergency key, i don't know why so many commenters get upset about such things. I grew up with one of my grandmothers having a key to our house. It was a non-issue. My BFF has a spare key to my place. Again. Not an issue. Having someone with a spare key in case I lock myself out (which I've done about once every two years) is a good thing. I would always want someone outside the house to have a back up key. And it sounds like you're of the same mind. To me, one or the other sets of your parents are the best choice. But you still should have talked first. Perhaps you should have given her the choice of who she thinks in more trustworthy than your mom in an effort to compromise.

[@Schayde48611]

Friends with her ex’s = she’s not yours, just your turn

[@lovingmusichere]

I completely get why op’s wife is upset about the house key, but you’ve got me fucked up if you think my parents will not be getting a copy of my house key. I trust them and know they’ll treat me with respect, hey aren’t nosy, and I’m super paranoid and watch way too much law and order svu to not let a trusted person have access to my house in an emergency 😅

[@skyelindsey687]

When it comes to partnerships it’s 2 yes, 1 no. If your partner or roommates says they aren’t comfortable with anyone outside the household having a key then you best move out/break up if it’s a dealbreaker for you. There’s no “I’m still gonna do it and you can’t stop me” as if you’re a child that doesn’t like being told no. And if that’s your mindset then please don’t live with anyone.

[@joshuapierce3085]

Story 1: She was being selfish in only thinking of things her way and not even trying to look at things through her friends' or bf's view. So she felt she could have "casual" sex without "catching feelings"? Wow. Way to make a man feel valued. I don't blame her bf for questioning the entire relationship up to that point for if she could have sex "that means nothing" so easily, if I were him, I'd be wondering if any of the sex we'd had meant anything and if she might still be doing it with other men "for the fun of it". Sex is an emotionally charged activity (there is science to back that up). I honestly question anyone who doesn't develop emotions from it as that would tell me they are either people who sleep around to much and thus can't actually feel what they're doing anymore or they are sociopaths who can't really experience emotions to begin with. Story 2: Yes, OP was an asshole for talking to his wife like that but more want to say that terms like "narcissist", "racist", etc... are thrown around way to often. Not all abusers are narcissists.

[@truthseeker9249]

Story 1: 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Thank you. I needed that laugh. If someone is capable of having sex without love, they're a sociopath? Do you hear yourself? Give me a f*cking break. Just because there are "hopeless romantics" in the world who can't go all the way without an emotional connection doesn't mean everyone is like that. After all we as humans are all different in our own ways aren't we? We're not robots. Everyone has their different ways and feelings and nobody is wrong for having them. But saying what you just said is totally disrespectful.

[@AndyyWithAY]

Mini wholesome story I had an appointment earlier. I just needed to do some preliminary stuff and schedule some dental work and thought I'd have plenty time before work. Well they took way longer than expected and I was still an hour late to work. I'd asked my mom if she wanted McDonald's when I thought I'd have time. She ended up going for me. I was so happy because I really wanted some hot cakes

[@carolroberts4614]

I hope the dentist didn't hurt too much! And your mum is nice!

[@mattl6300]

Story 1, the past always matters. Edit; dude actually married her after reading her post? She'll cheat with John at some point.

[@necilya]

Story 1: OP is still reacting the wrong way. Why she keeps reaching out to John even when he doesn’t reply. When he asked why can’t she stay, I didn’t like her answer. "Why do you care" leaves it open to an uncomfortable answer. She should have just said " because his my husband and I’m mad in love with him. I can’t stay that long without him". That would make him backup a little bit. Job wise I’m glad she’s changing jobs. She definitely needs new friends. And if ever she has an argument with her husband one day, she should not, never reach out to John to listen to issues or for comfort. Even if her and her husband are separated.

[@morlandoemtp]

Op is kidding herself if her past didn’t mean anything she would have been upfront about it. She knew she was wrong she craves the bad boy but he won’t commit to her so she settles for mr dependable and stable, someone she can manipulate