My Friend With Benefits Tested Me And Then Told Me She's Pregnant r/Relationships

[@tinywaterdrinker5136]

Story 1: "She told me she loved me. Maybe I was selfish for still continuing to--" And that is where he knew. He fucked up 😂

[@LadyGoddessSephiroth]

I thought that too. Dude should have bailed right then and there.

[@philwill0123]

Basically once she said she was in love, he used her feelings to continue banging her. Sorry mate, you didn't feel that way, you could have walked away, but easier to get the "cat" when shes obsessed

[@robertx8020]

@@philwill0123 Ignoring the "acted like she didn;t really meant it" ? They started as 'friends with benefits" and only hooked up "a few times a year" that doesn't sound like "I love you so much" to me. And she acted like she was ok with the situation? But it's all on him? OK! "That poor woman" right?

[@robertx8020]

@@wiggly103 And he made it clear that he didn't want more and she said she was ok with it! But for some reason you pur ALL the blame on him? Ignoring her lying (about not caring and being pregnant ) and her stalking? I bet you would even defend her if she had try to kill him? Sure he made mistakes but at the very least blame both!

[@tylrtrnr]

@@robertx8020 dude no one’s saying the chick’s a saint, the entire post is about how batshit she is. we all know she’s the bad guy, but the dude was also, SELF ADMITTEDLY mind you, acting selfishly in order to keep getting laid. there’s a reason that the saying “don’t stick your dick in crazy” exist, not because all women are crazy, but because men are horny and will do a lot to get laid consistently. no one’s saying op is at fault for the girls actions, but he is at fault for his own.

[@swiftninja91]

A little advice to everyone ... never "test" your partner. It never ends well.

[@videofan1010]

He wasn't her partner. Just some guy she was banging.

[@carpediem6431]

Game players can’t stop. It’s like the scorpion and frog story. Imagine a lifetime with a game player. Men/women need to get their heads out of their “hook -up” “body-count” culture. Why complain when you get exactly what you wanted (game playing-willing to hook up)

[@AngharadMac]

This is the prime example of play stupid games, win stupid prizes

[@shebakoby]

OP never heeded the universal sage advice: "My son, never, EVER stick it in "crazy"". Well I guess not from his own dad, from the story his dad just didn't engage in his life at all. But surely the Internet should have told him.

[@ruffr4bb1t]

Another lesson: if you need to “test” your partner instead of trusting them and/or communicating like adults then you need to get some help before you enter a relationship

[@veronica5lmaa]

Story 1: OP should have stopped seeing her long time ago. Now it's the time to do it. Cut your losses and go away. She is manipulative and her actions are disturbing, she is a stalker. OP is a lesser AH for keep sleeping with her after the love confession. Story 2: Why are OP with this man? He sure hates her kids and sounds abusive. Why stay with a man who is already mistreating your children and is showing red flags, so you know it can get worse??

[@WobblesandBean]

Right?? This is seriously some Jodi Arias levels of crazy.

[@jacobsmith-hi6ey]

they're hooking up. it's always a possibility that she'd get knocked up

[@tylrtrnr]

i really dislike comments like this man, “why are you with him? he sounds abusive!” yeah he’s abusive. op was being abused and not only that, she is financially vulnerable, going to school and using her own savings to contribute to the household. there are so SO many reasons op probably stayed as long as she did, we should be supporting her not shaming her.

[@veronica5lmaa]

@@WobblesandBean she is dangerous for sure

[@veronica5lmaa]

@@tylrtrnr Sorry, I do get your point. My comment it is a little harsh, but I do hope someone like OP will read thousands of people calling out her relationships and realize that this is not good for her or the kids.

[@Icalasari]

Story 3 - Wow a lot of the YTA comments seem to miss that she sicked her expensive lawyers on him for the prenup. That right there makes me bet she saw her money as more important than him. Why not, Iunno, pay for a single lawyer for both to ensure the prenup is fair instead of going, "Oh right you also have to get your own lawyer and I am using my wealth to ensure everything goes my way"

[@nationalsocialism3504]

S3- why is everyone say that OP was "cruel"??? He didn't even say I Told You So but a commiserate That's Rough & moved on about an aspect of her life that she has made extraordinarily explicit that he has no part in. She made it super weird about her money... he's clearly internalized that is how she wants it & accepts it. This is him being accepting that her finances have literally nothing to do with him or their relationship...

[@xplayfan21]

Bingo

[@erickaennis2738]

He could've, too. She clearly doesn't value his advice or opinions. She's going to go broke. And they are going to divorce.

[@Tyanna01]

Story 3: OP's wife invested solely in crypto. OP advised her against it. I'd wonder if his response has to do with how she responded to his advice. I would guess she threw in his face that it's her money and she could invest it how she pleases. If you see someone doing something stupid, and you advise them not to do it, and they still do it and it blows up in their face....like how much empathy can you muster? Even if they are your spouse. At least he didn't say "I told you so." He said that's rough, b/c it is. She lost 13 MILLION DOLLARS doing something he advised her wasn't a good idea. That's rough. Good thing she still has 18mill to fall back on. A lot of ppl have lost their houses and life savings. She learned an expensive lesson about diversifying your portfolio.

[@DiscoTimelordASD]

Story 2: It was never going to get better with the now ex husband. Leaving to protect her kids was the best choice for both her and them. My mother picked a man that HATED my 13 year old sister and 16 year old me and drove us off with his horrible treatment. 22 years later my mothers now alone in a 24 hour care facility interstate with stage 4 dementia. No one calls or visits and the husband moved on immediately without a care in the world. OP made the call that every GOOD mother should make: Kids first💙

[@charliedelfino2102]

My stepdad does small things like not setting a place for me at the dinner table, not including me in family paintings (his mum is a painter) and while my mum always tell him off when he does it, she still stays. I don't have nearly as much contact with my mum and sister because of her choice to stay with someone that actively alienated me.

[@DiscoTimelordASD]

@@charliedelfino2102 I'm so sorry Charlie.

[@OKAYOKAY420]

My mom chose our stepfather over us and she still shifts blame to everyone but herself.

[@AndyyWithAY]

Story 2 update. Sounds like she already failed several times, I'm glad she finally put her kids first. The sunk cost fallacy is a fallacy for a reason. Never stay in a 💩 situation because you've already used too much time or resources.

[@robertx8020]

I agree but it can still be hard! If she would left at the first bump, people would have told her "lear to communicate" or stuff like that!

[@LongNight_Moonlight]

Took the words right out of my mouth. When I heard the part about her never wanting to fail her kids I immediately thought to myself, she means never fail her kids "again" right? I wish more single parents would stop letting their kids be scrape goats and sacrifices so that they can keep a romantic partner. Mistreatment of any kind towards your child should be every parents bottom line and an absolute dealer breaker!

[@robertx8020]

@@LongNight_Moonlight You can fail and still have done your best! Failing is not always 'not trying'

[@lucretciaseven4873]

Story#3: If my partner (who has gone to extraordinary lengths to separate me from anything to do with their finances even just a reasonable spousal third after death) absolutely disregards my sound advice not to invest in a dicey prospect that everyone knows has positively no safety net I am NOT going to be patting them on the back and going there there because it's just the same as if they had taken 18 million and bet it on gambling at slots and that deserves zero sympathy. Then again she was fine to watch him struggling with student debt, so I guess you get the empathy that you give. However, if he did indeed say "that's rough" in a non-sarcastic way in what way was that cruel, because it's not like he was snide and rubbed her nose in it; do the reddit commenters think he should have sobbed along with her or told her lies by saying it wasn't her fault when it totally was? He had already proved he cared by giving her sound and reasonable advice., which let's be honest if he was all that resentful of the prenupt he would have said nothing and taken some satisfaction from her failure because that's what. people who are holding grudges do.

[@user-nb8tk6hh6x]

I hate to say this because it’s pointed out so much (bc Reddit is sexist af) but if the genders were reversed he’d be the A for financial abuse or whatever and she’d be the poor victim who was right and should divorce.

[@recycledapathy7411]

I mean, when I lost money with Bitcoin, my husband just laughed and called me a dumbass for buying it in the first place, and I said, "Fair." because yes, I was. Though we're not talking millions of dollars in loss, more like $20 total (because I was buying it a few bucks at a time, and I think overall I paid about $50 for it and got back $30-ish when I said "screw it" and pulled the plug.

[@OZARKMOON1960]

#3 - Even with just a 2% return each year, OP's wife would earn 600K! This is more than many people make in 20 or 30 years of working!!! She was SO concerned about him not getting a single finger on one thin dime of hers, and this is her reward. We have seen other stories about (usually) husband insisting inheritance staying his alone, but expecting to poop off wife's inheritance when she gets it. Nope buddy, you wanted separate and now you are getting it. OP is NTA and it was not his place to sooth or comfort someone so f'ing greedy!

[@Kris-wo4pj]

ive been working for more for 20 yrs (im 29) and i still havent made close to that much money. i feel no concern for her since she really seems to want to fuck over her husband finanically. i wanna know why she married him and why she wants him to care when she made it clear she doesnt want him to? edit: as an aside atleast in the states inheritance is not spousal property so it is completely separate from the marriage legally. im more annoyed she doesnt want him to get anything if she died suddenly.

[@samday414]

We don’t know her personal history maybe she had bad experiences with gold diggers in the past and she wanted to make sure OP was marrying her for her and not her money. But whichever way you look at it OP agreed to those terms, if he didn’t like it he should have said something at the time. Now she is going through a rough patch and it’s almost as if he is enjoying watching her suffer. To me that makes him the bigger AH. When you marry someone you are supposed to be their rock and their biggest cheerleader. Not the person who takes pleasure in watching them fail.

[@MaddyBlackbart]

You all sound bitter, petty, and jealous AF. You're literally saying this because she has money. Husband had the option to not sign prenup and walk away as every person does. It's his choice to have signed it. If he was resentful or felt it was wrong/greedy then it's on him to walk away. You don't punish someone else because YOU agreed to something you regret. It's called personal choice and responsibility. You should try it sometime. Also It'd be one thing if she asked for money from him but she's just upset and asking for emotional support. Something that EVERY person should EXPECT from there spouse is sympathy and support. IMO he sounds like such a bitter jerk she should leave him. You also sound like a jealous sad bitter person as well honestly saying this crap.

[@user-nb8tk6hh6x]

@@samday414 I have personal issues from abuses in the past, I would never make that my partner’s problem and we can know damn well that isn’t the case anyways since even after she dies if it were to happen he’d get nothing.

[@damien678]

@@samday414 She also should have seen the emotional consequences of telling your husband-to-be that you don't want him seeing a single penny of her money - and thus support - if she suddenly died. She's saying she cares for him but only for what he can give her. She doesn't care enough about him to make sure he'd be even just a bit ok if she passed. She's okay with him going at life alone and not lifting a finger for him. What would you expect from a partner you very clearly say that to (with expensive lawyers, no less)?

[@tinywaterdrinker5136]

Story 3. Completely separate finances where one is middle class and the other is rich sounds like a recipe for what in other relationships would classify as financial abuse. NTA. If it wasnt money-related, he wouldve comforted her. She WANTS him to react to her financials with indifference and that's what she got. What's the issue here? She went through the trouble of hiring an expensive lawyer and living completely different lifestyles in the same home (that's what separate finances entails) because she wants her husband to ignore her finances. You just can't cry about money after that. Women are adults who know what they're doing, not the children the internet treats us like.

[@Kris-zy7is]

Exactly. I was genuinely confused about the AH posts. Normally I don’t buy into the argument about ‘if the sexes were reversed blah,blah…’. But this time I do. Op would have gotten cheers on how ‘this is what he wanted’ but since it’s a woman it’s different reaction

[@Iflie]

Yeah, to him it's not like she lost much at all, she's the one obsessed with her money. This will not even effect her lifestyle so that's how he looks at it. If you look at how the really rich behave though they are the ones most worried about losing even a tiny bit of it. They will bribe politicians and stiff employees, it's never enough. She is obviously dumb yet still didn't take his advice on how to at least keep her money and now she has a sad, boohoo, tiny violin time.

[@nationalsocialism3504]

@@Kris-zy7is the "if the sexes were reversed" argument is 100% valid

[@jasonrustmann7535]

@@Kris-zy7is facts.

[@WobblesandBean]

Agreed. But the AITA Morality Cult just loooooves to berate men for not kowtowing to their wives or girlfriends. It's not really a misandry thing, it's just that the majority of Redditors in that sub are teenage girls, so they have no concept of what's fair and what isn't. They're still very much in their selfish teenage phase.

[@ImCassy]

That second story with the kids. When the title was read. I was like....ummm is this going to be an entitled story? Then hearing that they were the ONLY ones in economy hurt my heart so much! Run don't walk!

[@demonic_myst4503]

More for me is the fact he pit the mum away fron the kids he wanted the kids to fly alone

[@astronautviolet153]

Story 1: never test any one that you're in a relationship with stay healthy. DEFINITELY wrap it up if you're in a friends with benefits.

[@carlrood4457]

She was clearly unstable. He "failed" the test and she still kept trying to trap him.

[@cheekyftoro8962]

Yes in this instance she is crazy but women often test the waters to ensure their safety. The leading cause of death in pregnant women is murder in America. Better to test than to end up in a body bag.

[@robertx8020]

@@cheekyftoro8962 1. This was not in the US 2. Do you have ANYTHING to support that claim? 3.How is pretending you are pregnant ANY good way to 'test the waters'? Imagine what would happen if the man would be excited to be a daddy, only to be told "just kidding" Do you really think there would be a relation after that?

[@cheekyftoro8962]

@@robertx8020 1. I am aware but statistics have not been compiled in other countries. But if it's a factor in the US it's very likely a factor in other countries as well. 2. Researchers revealed this grim statistic by using death certificates to compare homicides and pregnancy-related deaths across the entire country. Wallace, M., Gillispie-Bell, V., Cruz, K., Davis, K. & Vilda, D. Obstet. Gynecol. 138, 762-769 (2021). 3. The original comment that I was replying to says " never to test anyone your in a relationship with." Now this is not specific to the corresponding post it is a general statement. Test often used are, What would you do if I was pregnant ? Or l am pregnant but considering an abortion? These test out how the father may feel about the situation wile not angering or making them feel trapped and having them lash out. Men like you need to start getting it trough your thick heads that your feeling are not more important than a woman's life.

[@335chr]

@@cheekyftoro8962 why don't you post the name of the study or even a link to the study

[@owl7072]

The internal battle I'm having on whether I want to listen to this now or save it for when I'm at work in a few hours lol

[@swearimnotarobot3746]

Watch it now so you can focus on work later

[@TheNormExperience]

Lol, I’m just glad I’m not the only one who sometimes saves a new video drop for when I really need it.

[@Dovaah]

Man, felt this one

[@owl7072]

@@TheNormExperience I have that crisis any time a video drops on a work day lol I've decided to simply listen twice, once before work and once during, cause when thinking about it, I've learned from the past that sometimes these stories get me _heated_ and cause I portion/prep stuff at a restaurant, anyone who looks at me for more than a few seconds would just see me angrily (but somehow still carefully) throwing turkey on a scale to weigh it then packing and putting it in a container with intense passive aggression. Listening twice let's me get most of the rage out lmao.

[@helenlewis2510]

2nd story reminds me of the Reddit post where op didn’t fly with her husband to his father’s funeral because his mother booked the tickets and op was in economy while her boyfriend was in 1st class.

[@demonic_myst4503]

This is abit worse a 10 and 14 year olds alone seperated from parents on the flight thata child niglect or at most chold abandoment

[@LaineyBug2020]

Story 2: Wow, glad this opened her eyes to the kind of person she was marrying and family that comes with him. I'd be absolutely done! Bet he love bombs her and tries to guilt trip her about ditching his kids!

[@robertx8020]

Better late than never applies here We need an update but I doubt she will take him back

[@TsukiKageTora]

@@robertx8020 remember though, “she invested too much time and effort in the relationship” to not get past thinking “this isn’t right” when she sees the blatant attitude he as with her kids, so she might take him back based on that attitude. Took reddit strangers and such, which is ok, rather late than never. Hope to god her next relationship isn’t like this cause she’d be blinded by relationship to see her kids being mistreated

[@fytrndm]

@@robertx8020 She better not take him back or so help me. At this point she should put her children first or one day she'd be one of those old people in a nursing home wondering why her children never visits.

[@robertx8020]

@@TsukiKageTora Like anyone, who reads Reddit or channels like these, knows ..even the crappiest relations don't start crappy, so I keep my fingers crossed that she 1) leaves and 2) has better luck next time

[@robertx8020]

@@fytrndm True but the only one who can do something about this is OP (and 'lady luck' )

[@Rainhet]

story 3: would fake empathy be better? as long as he's not being rude to her or mocking her. I too wouldn't feel sorry about a millionare crying about some change they lost. he could say a lot worse things than "that's rough." he might not be the most empathetic, but i don't think that makes him the asshole. imagine crying to a homeless person that your electric bill went up by £50 cus you never turned your PC off all month. yeah, they probably won't cry with you

[@missliss1764]

He didn't have to say anything, he could have just hugged her. In most relationships you're together because you care about each other, so if he cares about her at all it should hurt him to see her upset. A hug and saying "that sucks, babe" is the minimum you could do for the person you're supposed to love.

[@chs75]

@@missliss1764 She essentially took $13MM to the casino and walked up to the roulette table and bet it all on black...and lost it. Is OP obligated to support her even though he told her not to go into the casino in the first place? Is he obligated to support her even though she watched him struggle with $300k in student loan debt? A figure that she would not have even missed and was minuscule in comparison to the millions she lost? Is OP obligated to care when she has taken every effort to exclude him from her financial world?

[@SilentTheViewer]

@@missliss1764 coddling people who make extremely bad choices (family or not) only enforces the idea to them that making said bad decision was not as bad as it is in actuality

[@Rainhet]

@@missliss1764 not every relationship is that mushy and affectionate over every little thing. It's a weird standard to put on everyone. It's not a minimum, it's a teenage fantasy. This isn't her losing a family member, or having an injury, she's literally crying about pennies when she has millions left and is comfortable. To someone who is worse off too.

[@truthseeker9249]

@@missliss1764 That kind of thinking will just enable people's bad behavior.

[@starbird3939]

Story 2 I never understand why, save for emergencies, you put the whole party in different classes. Either they all fly economy or they all fly first class. The favoritism is strong.

[@carlrood4457]

I could see separating the party in a case where adult children pay for their elderly parents to fly first class while they all fly economy. Something like that. If they had separated finances, it would at least be arguable that she pays for seats that she and her kids afford and he pays for him and his kids. It still wouldn't bode well for any future family dynamics

[@robertx8020]

@@carlrood4457 IF he would have told het BEFORE the flight (not 5 minutes but weeks) what he had planned, then at least OP could have done something! It wouldn';t make it much better in the end but at least it wasn't a 'last moment' thing!

[@demonic_myst4503]

He wanted a 10 year old and 14 year old to fly alone away fron their mum thats ilegal

[@LadyPinkmonsta]

I'm torn on the last one. It is kind of AHish to not comfort your partner when they're crying, but putting myself in the OP's shoes, I honestly don't think I could feel truly sympathetic towards her monetary losses because the truth is, she'll be 100% fine. It's not the same as a non-rich person losing their investments or even $20 because that is a life altering occurrence with potentially dire consequences. Going from 31 million to 18 million when you already have a house and still work? Yeah "that's rough" lol.

[@Kris-wo4pj]

i would have said that sucks im sorry quick hug then moved on to do something actually important like i know that sounds asshole-ish but i hate people that get advice, do the opposite of said advice then get pissy ya dont feel bad for them cuz like i told ya so also youre rich idc. but youre my partner so i gotta pretend.

[@andrewi.crocker8675]

@@Kris-wo4pj This was my thought exactly. OP told his wife not to invest in that crypto, then she did and lost a bunch of money, and is now looking for support from her spouse who had 100's of thousands of dollars in student loan debt she never helped with?!

[@LadyPinkmonsta]

@@Kris-wo4pj I had totally forgotten about the part where OP had told her not to put all that money into crypto in the first place! That does make it even harder to muster up sympathy lol

[@Michael.CrazedAlaska]

especially when a prenup is written so OP will never see a dime of it, only any potential children or siblings of the wife. I’d give no sympathy on that alone, I’m never seeing any of that, I gave my two cents, so sucks to gamble it away

[@Icalasari]

@@Michael.CrazedAlaska Not to mention she went at OP with expensive lawyers for the prenup and made OP have to get their own lawyers for it. That part made me have zero pity for her. There was NO reason to not have one lawyer for the both of them for the prenup unless OP felt uncomfortable about it

[@aconvowithcrissee222]

Story 2: engagement is OFF! hell nah he's trying to set a precedent that his kids will always come first and that he can treat your kids badly bc "it's his money"

[@demonic_myst4503]

Npt just that he wanted a 10 year old and 14 year old to be alone on the flight thats child niglect

[@amilikestea433]

NTA for the last story. Yes money is a sensitive area because the wife made it so. Her message was "Don't even think about thinking about my money" So OP didn't get too hung up about the loss. He told her it didn't sound like a good idea to invest. But it was her money and she treated the situation probably like any other time money has come up. "It's my money you don't have any right to telle anything about it." If this was a friend or family member people would probably be more on OP's side. How many times have we seen reddit be a total hypocrites? Like a dad being down voted when if it was the wife posting the same story everyone would take her side.

[@amilikestea433]

@@LostSoulchild89 That would be great!

[@janglesthearsonist5265]

Story 3: NAH-NTA The prenuptial agreement aside, OP was not kind or unkind. If OP's wife wants to be comforted about her financial losses then she is perfectly capable of communicating this in a non-confrontational way instead of lashing out that OP didn't react the way she wanted him to!

[@TsukiKageTora]

She is TA, expecting OP to be sympathetic of her losing money over her literal bad investment but where was her sympathy when he had debt, that was like not even 1 percent of her wealth, she asked for a prenup. Instead of supporting him, like she wanted OP to support her, she made him sign a prenup (which is probably incredibly unfair choice considering her lawyer was probably better than OP’s considering the statement OP said about the lawyers’ costs being significantly different). That in itself sounds like a red flag

[@NotQuiteUseful]

@@TsukiKageTora Honestly, I get the prenup, until the "you don't get anything if I die" part. Making sure her family wealth stays in the family instead of going to a jilted ex is one thing, but having a clause that specifically locks the husband out in the event of death is just a really shitty thing to include. She's definitely TA.

[@janglesthearsonist5265]

@@TsukiKageTora Judging the situation soley on OP's interaction about her investments tanking makes a "no assholes here judgments" a possible best case scenario. Judging it with the prenup, there is no way for OP to be an asshole. I have some ideas who might fit the asshole bill.

[@babette1762]

@@NotQuiteUseful agree, that's the unreasonable part. Unless she was worried about him offing her for the money. 😂

[@aluralovell6829]

@@babette1762 Are you new to Reddit? There are plenty of stories about spouses being complete AH even to their children over inheritance when their spouse dies. Also, there are plenty of non-rich people who do this as well, when my mother dies, her husband, my step father isn't getting anything, it all goes to me and my siblings, same with my father even though be is single at the moment, even when he was married this was the case, his ex-wife would get nothing if he died, only his children so I don't really see why people are up in arms about her making it so only her family or potential children get all of her money, plenty of non-rich people do this and no one has an issue with it, and are even praised for doing it but what because she is rich it's suddenly an issue?

[@technicaldifficulties368]

People need to stop saying "pull yourselves up by your bootstraps". It literally started as a joke because it's not physically possible. Now people use it to tell people to buck up. Sure, the few do make it. And are forever held over the heads of people who don't like it's possible for everyone.

[@mouse2482]

You don't understand how we use metaphors or philosophy to make the possible appear to be impossible and vice versus, depending on how you look at the words used?

[@Kris-wo4pj]

@@mouse2482 no it was a metaphor for how the rich fucks over poor people and how impossible it is to become wealthy without alot of help. now people who bought into the propaganda of rich good and unions are bad for business cuz it makes it so owners actually have to pay cost of living and give good benefits use it as a metaphor to be self made rich even tho no rich person has ever become rich by themselves. they all got help from someone who gave them a "loan" of a few thousand to million or they all fucked over a busienss partner to get rich.

[@oceana3070]

You sound fun 🤨

[@Ajedhunt]

Story 3: I would expect finances to be a topic that's pretty much taboo in this relationship. If you decide to marry, an action that usually leads to most people combining there lives as one, but you want to keep this aspect out of this union, it should be the case in all forms, including talking about it. Also to go off the analogy of the person bringing up a family member dying it would only work in a scenario where the wife would've gone into the marriage letting OP know that she's gonna keep having a relationship with her family, but that he's never gonna meet or get to know them because she doesn't wanna share her relationship with her family with him, in this case I don't know if I'd find the "it's rough" comment that weird, because here again it's about something that would've been kept separate for their whole marriage it's just weird to only want to share only when you want emotional support and keep it to yourself otherwise, it screams selfishness. All in all this relationship seems toxic to be in tbh and I can't understand why anyone would want to be with someone like that in the first place.

[@OmniscientlyMe]

Story 3: People expecting empathy over the financial equivalent of spilled milk. Not giving a response someone feels entitled to in a situation is not the same as being an AH.

[@Nicholem718-1]

I think “that’s rough” was sufficient consolation. What was he supposed to do? Cry?

[@mamakitty6549]

Story 2: you feel terrible because he's abusive. His family are abusive. The fact that he's outright bullying your children tells me this isn't the first time something like this happened. I'd have left while they were gone. Don't be an arsehole and please put your children first.

[@bunnyslippers191]

OP in the first story fell for the "Sunk Cost Fallacy." She thought she had put too much time and energy into the relationship to get out just because her fiance kept putting her kids last. This is a "Cut Your Losses And Get Out Right Now" situation since he and his family will always put your kids, and probably you as well, dead last in their list of priorities. It's obvious that he and his family will never change.

[@redtailarts101]

That's the second story tho

[@bunnyslippers191]

@@redtailarts101 Whoops!! Not the first time I've done that and it probably won't be the last. *sighs*

[@redtailarts101]

@@bunnyslippers191 sad

[@samoanjoseph1457]

Story 1: How many red flags did they need??? There were so many signs they weren't on the same page, yet neither one took the hint that maybe they should stop seeing each other. And really it's more on OP since he wasn't as into her as she was into him, yet still didn't walk away.

[@ivanadragmire2873]

i mean, i feel like it's hard to feel bad for a person who knowingly made a stupid decision and invested in crypto. you know.... that thing that's well known to be volitile even in the best situations.

[@leegraves8878]

You know in her head when he warned her she was thinking sure dummy you don't know nothing.

[@user-nb8tk6hh6x]

Exactly

[@rivertam7827]

Yeah but she didn't ask him for anything yet he brought up the prenup when it wasn't even relevant to the situation, he's salty about it and was being callous. Also, even if someone makes a mistake you warned them about, you don't need to be an a*hole about it. When my partner makes a mistake I don't throw it in his face with an I told you so, I empathise with him and help make plans to fix the situation. They both suck, but in this instance he sucks more for just lacking any compassion.

[@user-nb8tk6hh6x]

@@rivertam7827 nah

[@aluralovell6829]

Why don't you go ahead and say what you're really thinking it's hard to feel bad for someone who is rich because rich people problems am I right? Not one single person on this earth hasn't made a mistake even if the mistake seemed like a fairly obvious one, we all fuck up but not being able to show a shred of empathy towards a person you're supposed to love just shows that you really don't. My brother has made plenty of dumb choices, despite numerous family members warning him that it was a bad idea the mother of his child being one of them, we told him to stop messing around with her before a child was even involved and now she takes every opportunity she can to weaponized the child against him because she's upset he doesn't want to be with her anymore. Yes, it was a dumb choice, yes he got himself into it despite the fat the this was literally the woman who accused him of rape because he broke up with her, yes it was an obvious dumb choice and he has no one to blame but himself for the situation that he is in, but does that mean I can't comfort him or be sad that he's sad and hurting despite the fact that it isn't my problem? No because he is my brother and I love him, dumbass that he is I want him to be happy, doesn't mean I'm gonna bail him out everytime he makes a bad move, but what is it really costing you to show that you care about someone you are supposed to love?

[@SilentTheViewer]

Story 3: NTA for sure, why are people acting like OP needs to be sympathetic to a partner he tried warn NOT to essentially gamble 13 million dollars away. People really tried hard in those comments to equate that to accidentally lose 20 dollars which made me chuckle disgust. There's only so much empathy you can have for a person and my empathy line would be crossed well below losing a million dollars on what is effectively online gambling.

[@JoseRodriguez-kw9ez]

Kinda hard to have empathy for someone who lost more than you’ve ever had and still is worth 1000 times your current worth

[@swearimnotarobot3746]

Story 1: Nothing shouts healthy relationships than testing other people. 😅 Story 2: the different treatment of the kids is messed up and will hurt all of them. And he would have cried if she did the same thing in reverse. And he went crying to his mum. And the secrecy. And the fact he went to the excuse of him paying. Story 3: ESH. He added a line about him being a man so he knows he can’t rely on her. Weird. But also he seems like he somewhat resents her. But also I find it hard to empathise with a stranger who is rich, lost some money, and still rich, cried about it. Although they are married, he should be empathetic towards her. Instead, he sees her crying, says that’s rough, then leaves.

[@helar2574]

Story 3: i think he cant rely on her because of this prenup and non-shared finances. I would never understood such prenups and financials really, only prenups with infidelity clauses and such.

[@BbiBbii]

Can you explain more on the last story ETA judgement you give? Even from your explanation OP’s wife is an AH because she cried and is rich. That’s not being an AH, that’s being a human. I think, rich or not, losing a bunch of money is something that would cause many to cry over. Personally I’m voting YTA because his wife didn’t want financial help, she wanted emotional help/support from her husband. The wife did zero wrong in that story (besides investing in something as risky as Crypto).

[@SunBeeSmoked]

@@BbiBbii he just got off work, he sincerely said it was rough, instead of giving a chance for ANY FURTHER conversation she starts arguing with him because he didn’t have the exact reaction she wanted to her dealing with the consequences of her actions. Bitching at someone will not make them want to comfort you nor are they required to when you’re treating them like garbage.

[@BbiBbii]

@@SunBeeSmoked That’s not what happened at all. Re-listen to the story. He stiff armed her the second he came into the house, didn’t tell her he had a bad day or anything. Just came home and was being b*tchy. Not to mention most of the post is him ranting about money & prenups. Meaning he’s being mean to his crying wife cause she’s rich. That’s it. He clearly has resentment cause the prenup and is acting cold with her here cause of money. Idk about you but I’ve had very hard days, but anytime I came home to see a loved one crying I do my best to help/comfort a little. She didn’t argue with him off the bat either, she tried to get comforted by her HUSBAND. Got a cold hearted response and was obviously hurt by it & confronted him about it after he walked off. Then he threw the prenup in her face as if she wanted his money. The wife did literally nothing wrong.

[@Kris-wo4pj]

@@BbiBbii its nta for me. she doesnt want him to have anything to do with her money. so he said that's rough and moved on with his life cuz thats what she wanted. she made it very clear by fucking him over even in death. this would actually be considered financial abuse if we reversed the genders. i dont get the yta or esh. again if this was a rich dude crying about losing money in an investment that anyone with half a brain would fail ya'd be asking why hes being such a little bitch and to get over himself cuz his wife as more important shit to do.

[@floraposteschild4184]

Well, that can happen if you just use someone for sex. That said, I always feel for the person being stalked. If it has happened to you, you know how it takes over your life.

[@MydieLy]

Right? This whole time when all replies were like "she's crazy!!!" from the getgo, I had the phrase "play stupid games, win stupid prizes" in my head. Don't do casual hookups when you can't handle the consequences of them. 'Friends with benefits" is a concept that hardly ever works out. And as soon as one party develops feelings, you either have to take it seriously and move the relationship forward or leave right then and there. Don't string someone along. Best, think very throughly whether you are ready to accept the consequences of your actions, before you act on them^^

[@peteranon8455]

@@MydieLy As soon as someone develops feelings you have to leave right then and there. If you were going to have a serious relationship, you weren't going to start it as a FWB.

[@catcando1131]

@@peteranon8455 My partner and I started as FWB. Both us felt we made bad partners. Seven years later, after we both went through therapy and made huge steps in bettering our mental health, I told him I loved him. He responded the same. 8 years later, we are stronger than ever. So FWB can actually go somewhere.

[@GrifoStelle]

My kid is 6, he likes to kick around balloons. When they pop he shrieks and cries. I have an arsenal of all the balloons he could ever want. I don't care about the balloons. When he cries I hold him over the 0.05% loss in his balloon stock, I comfort him. I listen to the life story of "the yellow one I loved so much" wether the balloon lived 2 minutes or the 3.5 day current record. Your life partner suffered a loss and sobbed. Help her or quit pretending you're a partner of any worth

[@mztweety1374]

Never chase what doesn't wanna be caught.

[@Writing4MySoul]

For story 3, I understand where he comes from. My mother was laid off when I was about to go to an expensive private high school, so things were rough. We’re only just starting to get comfortable again over a decade later. If she wants to frivolously waste her money on BS, I would have zero sympathy either. And for the person who compared losing a parent to losing millions… what is wrong with you?

[@owl7072]

Story 1: I'd probably bail because of the "test" alone if I were in that situation. I wouldn't want to be with someone who would just lie like that. Edit: I knew it. Felt it in my bones Story 2: Now why are you with someone who, apparently literally, views your kids as less than? I've always been of the mindset that if you're going on a trip with your family, you stay with each other. If you can't afford first class for everyone, then you _don't take first class_ and use the money saved for something special for everyone. It's not a family trip if you're excluding part of the family. Was he gonna have your kids eat in a separate room during the dinner? Was he gonna go as far as to have them stay in a hotel while you stay at the house? He seems like the type 🙄

[@WiseWordsbyWiki]

I love how story 3 just proves that Reddit doesn't follow it's own financial advice as when someone does ask for a good prenup, not take on their partners debts and make sure their assets go to their kids and not their spouse just incase they are a callous asshole who doesn't even deserve comfort from their spouse.

[@SunBeeSmoked]

Story 3: NTA. Consequences meet actions, actions meet consequences. She wanted finances separate and from the sound of it they have never shared in each other’s financial successes or failures, not even emotionally. He had warned her she was doing something stupid. He JUST gets home from work, sees her crying and SINCERELY says that it’s rough before going to do what he probably does every day after work and coming back. Instead of trying to initiate a conversation she starts bitching him out for not having the exact reaction that she wanted and after that you guys are still trying to say he should’ve comforted her? NO. If someone is being irate that WONT make you want to comfort them as it SHOULDNT. If she wanted comfort she could communicate that without trying to displace blame onto him and treated him poorly. He should honestly just leave, this woman needs therapy.

[@shebakoby]

story 1: OP should learn the trick of washing out a used condom prior to disposing of it. I've heard many stories about used condoms being fished out of the trash and used by a woman to turkeybaster with. Others have used hot sauce to discourage the practice prior to disposal, but to me that's just closing the barn door after the horse has escaped. Just for future.

[@ShinePaw101]

Story 2: It would be SO easy for a stranger to say or do something that harms your child without your knowledge in that situation. Especially once you land on the other side of the flight.

[@jennilynne1977]

I hope everyone is having a great day/evening/night! Peace, hugs and love to you all!

[@wendyhadley2764]

Story 2, the entire incidents says a lot more negative about his character that it does yours. You are looking pretty good in this story. If I'd have been his mother I'd have set him and his kids home before Thanksgiving dinner, and sent you and your kids Christmas gifts and an apology for having such a ah of a son.

[@kitarrah1422]

Every story or person I've heard about who had a friends with benefits thing has always ended badly. Invariably, one of them starts developing deeper feelings for the other. Then they are heartbroken when the other person says that they don't reciprocate their feelings. The person who fell in love is then either depressed and devastated when the other person breaks off the relationship and moves on to someone else, or they end up settling for scraps of the other person's time. Then bitterness, resentment, and jealousy can seep in. Some people go off the deep end and start being like the girl in this story. Has anyone else ever heard of a friends with benefits relationship that didn't end badly? I'm genuinely curious.

[@MydieLy]

I have not heard a single story either that went well. So, my easy fix for that personally always has been: only enter into a sexual relationship when you have serious intentions. If it was meant to be just casual, our hormones wouldn't flood us with attachment cocktails.

[@kitarrah1422]

@@MydieLy Agreed.

[@FinnishLapphund]

Last story: OP's wife basically gambled away several of her millions on a cryptocurrency, and a cryptocurrency exchange, after choosing to disregard his warnings about that this was an unsafe investment field. The old Don't gamble more than you could afford to lose, is what came to my mind, and I can sort of understand why OP weren't overwhelmed by feelings of sympathy. Sure, I would've wished he had started by saying "I'm sorry, poor you..." Anyhow, I doubt their marriage will last much longer anyway.

[@missliss1764]

I agree that their marriage won't last. I grew up poor as well. But I do think that the husband could have put a tiny bit of effort in. You comfort the people you're supposed to love. A simple hug and "that sucks babe" goes very far.

[@FinnishLapphund]

@@missliss1764 Part of me agrees with you, the other part of me thinks that if a partner of mine had gambled away several millions on something I had warned him was high risk, I'm not sure how much sympathy I would've been able to express in that situation. Maybe none.

[@sherrygibbs7547]

OP isn't salty about the prenup and her keeping her money away from him....he is doing fine on his own. It's her money, her business. OP is keeping his nose out of it. If she wants a shoulder to cry on, she should go to her rich parents/family/friends, for that knowledgeable solace. I am also of the opinion, that if you play with fire, be prepared to get burnt. If you invest, there is always a chance of loosing money....and, the more you play, the more you can loose. Not OPs business. Not OPs problem. At least he didn't rub her nose in it.

[@madisonl3401]

Great friend! Time to not be fwb or friends, period!

[@oceana3070]

Ahh I know of someone who was baby trapped by an exchange student, they were also FWBs, and she was indeed pregnant. But the Dad came from a rich family and they accepted the child. The mother got an ok reception, but the Dad made it clear he didn’t love her. Messssy

[@KE-hr4sb]

S1 OP: "What red flags??" Let me see: the fact that 1) she told you she loves you, then pretended she was joking, 2) then told you she was pregnant and had an abortion, then said THAT was a lie, that 3) she tried to guilt-trip you about being OK with "killing y'all's baby" and now 4) she's "pregnant again with your baby" and trying to baby trap you into a relationship with her (since you don't feel the same way she does)? She's lying, manipulating you, guilt-tripping, and gaslighting. Even if she really IS pregnant with your baby, do NOT move to Russia. You'll be stuck with Crazy for the next 18+ years if you do. Next time? Be careful who you stick it in. S2: NTA. "The kids can hang in there" would be more convincing if HIS kids also "hung in there," but he's made it perfectly clear that he sees your kids as less than his. Secondly, what's this "I'm paying, my rules" bs? You contribute, not only with your savings, but also with doing a bigger share of the chores! Nah ah. He's shown you who he is (financially abusive, controlling, and borderline mistreating your kids); believe him and nope out of this one. "MIL says the fact that I was willing to miss Thanksgiving with the family over something so trivial shows my real character, personality, midset or lack thereof." "Miss Thanksgiving with the family"? You're not; you're with your kids. "Over something so trivial"? You mean your kids being treated as less than? Nope. Miss marrying into his dumpster fire of a family too. Your kids need YOU to protect them when they can't protect themselves. Especially from abusive partners and their entitled families.

[@annabethsmith-kingsley2079]

First Story reminds me of the movie Vanilla Sky when Cameron Diaz says “when you make love your body makes a promise”. (Paraphrased)

[@sebastianquinchia1840]

Oh noooooo she only has 18 million dollars now, what a travesty.

[@notevenlistening6072]

Children are entitled to equal treatment, though.

[@VegaManX4]

Story 1: That girl has more character in her finger than op in his entire neighbourhood, lol.

[@SH-nc4is]

What's the best way to make a small fortune? Start with a large one!

[@mommieminnesota3108]

He should have stopped when she said she loved him.

[@emcustard]

Story 2: That dude is clearly showing that he doesn’t care about fiancée's kids. Stop, do not pass Go, do not collect $200. Either everyone sits in first class or no one does. You can bet he'd never put his own bio kids in economy. Disgusting behavior on his end. This isn’t even an issue of spoiled/entitled because it could have easily been remedied by them all being in economy together.

[@demonic_myst4503]

Econony or first class is the least of problem he wabted 10 and 14 year olds to be alone seperated fron their mum for the flight thats child abandoment

[@c18888]

In story 1 she was baby trapping him and would of made sure they were not using protection because she was already pregnant. Except he didn’t run to be by her side

[@feyfantome]

Story 1: that woman gives off some serious Borderline Personality Disorder vibes. I’m glad OP listened to advice and set up some strong safeguards regarding the supposed pregnancy. I hope he is finally free of her forever, but I gotta say I’d likely move to another job and city a good distance away, create new, private social media accounts with a different name, change my cell number, and never post any info regarding my new job or location. Stalkers are insidious.

[@FriedaMMartin]

Tired lazy day today at home, bought some apple pie moonshine

[@unicornjennie]

S2 NTA stay home with your kids and move out immediately. He just showed you who he really is believe him. So many RED FLAGS do not marry this man look how he treats your kids.

[@TsukiKageTora]

Story 3: NTA, OP really didn’t do anything wrong. She is the one who made a prenup (literally a better lawyer than OP’s by money wise… don’t think that is very “loving” of her) that made OP not even get a cent of her wealth if she died and would go to her kids (what if they don’t have kids? It just goes “poof”?) He gave advice: She can stop investing in crypto and not lose the rest of her money. But honestly the wife sounded cold with the prenup but expected OP to be all supportive to her after she lost money? He had a debt and where was her support? A prenup.

[@theunknownone5663]

Story 3: nta, she probably treated him the same way anyway.

[@historictruecrime5119]

Airplane story… go to her parents for the holidays and never return.

[@PiscesMoon2You]

Why do these guys not take responsibility for birth control on their part. Then make sure partner is on birth control too. Carry condemns for both you and partner since there are both male and female condoms. Men and women both try to baby trap a sexual partner.

[@stonefox2546]

3 - Proof that rich people certainly didn't get rich by being good with money.

[@ChristopherCapersJones]

18:12 NTA, you are not responsible for your wife's stupid decisions here, marriage or no marriage. She split everything at the start and now wants to make her crypto bust YOUR problem? She's not entitled to a cent from you, but at the very least try to comfort her.

[@ivorynk752]

Testing in relationships rarely ends well.

[@logirl1975]

Story 2: I would very much like to talk to the guy's first wife/mother of his children. I bet she has a lot of similar stories about him and his mother.

[@mgaus]

Story 3: yeah, the comparison by the one comment to losing a loved one lost me. Losing some money (on paper, btw, not even a recognized loss) is so much different than a loved one. Daytime on Mercury versus night on Pluto different NTA for OP

[@TheArnaa]

It’s 2:00 a.m. and I’m taking a break from working on a uni assignment that’s due at 3:00 p.m. It’s turned into a huge time suck and I’m worried about not making the deadline even though I’ve spent hours and hours on it every week for the last month.

[@TsukiKageTora]

Story 1, talk about every sort of stalker movie character being mashed into one person…

[@technicaldifficulties368]

The last story with the prenup. I've been kinder to roommates than this guy is to his WIFE

[@chs75]

She essentially took $13MM to the casino and walked up to the roulette table and bet it all on black...and lost it. Is OP obligated to support her even though he told her not to go into the casino in the first place? Is he obligated to support her even though she watched him struggle with $300k in student loan debt? A figure that she would not have even missed and was minuscule in comparison to the millions she lost? Is OP obligated to care when she has taken every effort to exclude him from her financial world?

[@technicaldifficulties368]

@@chs75 He AGREED to this. It's not about the money. It's about the fact that he walked past his sobbing wife like a stranger in a parking lot.

[@supremeturtle1186]

Dude definitely should've called it quits when she caught feelings

[@kbf9644]

#1-My immediate thought she was pregnant when she came to his city specifically to see him and pass the baby off as his. IF there is a pregnancy.

[@Julienna]

Don't sleep with anybody without protection, unless you are planning to start a family! Stupid! Do not trust the girl/boy, always use protection, if you are not planning starting a family yet! Many children born in such situation usually have very traumatic childhood. Nobody deserves that!

[@diamondmx3076]

The thing many of the commenters on the prenup story seem to be missing is that the OP is clearly not just a little salty about the selfish prenup, nor just a bit dismissive because she's still much richer than almost everyone in the world, but she lost 20 million on gambling and expects sympathy for it. Like, you play the odds and you get what you get. If you didn't want to risk losing 20 million in crypto then don't invest in gambling. He should probably be a bit more sympathetic because she's his wife but she's a rich idiot who got what she deserved.

[@RylieRiddle]

Exactly, if OP had said she lost 20 million at a casino in Vegas at a poker tournament, everyone would be NTA. She played with a virtual slot machine, and lost. Why give her a shoulder to cry? I don't do that when my mother drops $300-400 at the casino, it's the same for when rich people drop millions.

[@mbyerly9680]

The crazy lady was going to boil OP's bunny in borscht.

[@ShingingDisco]

Good morning everybody!! Hope everyone’s having a good weekend 🧇💕✨

[@Resilient_Sage88]

Tell that ex Just no Mil that it's her son's distinct lack of character that earned him being a single sad sack.

[@gracehubbard282]

Morning! It's my day off so gonna chill and maybe do some chores.

[@1qsc7]

All the comments in story 3 are ignoring that the wife continually made a well known bad investment. I don't care how much money you do or don't have, if you lose it to crypto at this day and age I won't have sympathy for you. She wasted that money. I would try to pretend because you know, married, support, but I couldn't muster much more than a "that's rough" myself.

[@SuperYoshi29]

Thank you!!! Everyone is ignoring that he told her not to do it. I would be super annoyed if someone did something I told them not to do then come crying to me when it blows up in their face. Honestly he’s NTA and a bigger person than me for not saying, “ I TOLD YOU SO!”

[@HinataUchiha_22]

Story 3: i really dont get how people expect someone who grew up poor to have sympathy for a rich person being a little less rich Wow she has more money than he’s ever made so far and still does even after what she lost but he should feel bad , Why because her life is gonna change so much by her own choices when even that’s not true 😂

[@rosemaryconstable5620]

Interesting, everyone in story 1 goes on about him moving to Russia. Anyone not considered the thought that she is saying this so he will move her to the UK, then when she’s all legal she has a ‘miscarriage’?

[@davidburns2119]

Story 3 OP warned her about crypto and told her it wasn’t a good investment because it’s so volatile but as a person with wealth she thought she knew better and now that she lost almost half her wealth from poor investments she wants him to console her about her bad investment strategy. I’m sorry if you ask for advise but don’t listen to that advice and do what you want anyway I think you should have to suck it up and take your loses like a big strong independent woman.

[@Wolvesbane39]

WOW the MIL said OP was teaching her kids to be spoiled? No what's happening is step dad was saying to the kids they aren't worth spending either money or time on, that they are second to his real kids. Actually teaching his three kids they are better and should be spoiled over OP's kids. That is what happened there, and it's messed up.

[@annabethsmith-kingsley2079]

20:50 why should he have empathy when she has none? has she ever wondered waht it's like to have debt that your spouse could easily pay and she does't want to? what it's like to have this prenup? she doesn't care about his feelings and he reciprocates

[@pelgervampireduck]

story 3: NTA, what was he supposed to do? cry "boo hoo, poor millonaire lost some money but still is a millonaire!! boo hoo!!"??.

[@Silence-1170]

Hi All! Hope you are all doing well this day! Stay safe and stay positive waffles! Just relaxing playing Pokemon Violet!

[@holnrew]

In many stories I find it hard to empathise with anybody because they live in a different world with all the money they have. I just can't comprehend being in that situation so can't make a judgement

[@nonyabiznez38]

Story 1: play stupid games win stupid prizes 🤷‍♀️

[@maggpiprime954]

Happy weekend everybody! 💖

[@antithoughtpolice7497]

Story 1 update: a girl like her ended up killing her ex she kept hooking up with and stalking

[@annabethsmith-kingsley2079]

I could see having the parents in first class and the kids in economy but not just some of the kids.

[@louellacharlton4425]

Tyvm Mark

[@TsukiKageTora]

Story 2: NTA, especially when the youngest is afraid of flying alone without her mom. TF is this? The whole family is like treating their grandchildren like godsend while treating their step grandchildren like garbage and when their mom stood up for them it’s “spoiling them”. The utter audacity and hypocrisy of that entire side of the family. OP throw the entire family out, you can do so much better than a man who doesn’t treat your kids the same as his own. Disgusting and appalling behavior. Though OP would be TA if she didn’t see this as a “has he been treating my kids differently than his own?” moment and do what’s best for her kids. ETA: after update, she literally saw the mistreatment of her kids and thought “not right” but continued being in that relationship cause she invested too much time and effort in the relationship?? Verdict changed to YTA cause she selfishly stayed with a man she actively knew treated her kids worse than his own. She finally got the picture, after the reddit community told her, but why did it take a group of strangers to break through that selfishness and finally put her kids first? Poor kids, probably complained but were ignored by their own mom who “invested too much time and effort into the relationship” to care about how her own kids were treated…

[@demonic_myst4503]

Even of not scared its child niglect a 14 year old cant act as the adult for a ten year old on a flight thats ilegal

[@chs75]

Story 3: NTA. She made every effort to ensure that he could not ever have any access to her money (even in death), then heavily invests in the riskiest investment there is - that he warned her not to get into - and she is now upset at him?! He didn't rub it in her face, didn't say "I told you so!" just acknowledged her situation and then had a shower. She isn't mad at him, she is mad at herself and taking it out on him. I feel for her, that must really suck, but she made those choices and she still has $18MM. She still has time to invest wisely and recoup her money in time.

[@keepdancingmaria]

Last story.... I think when he says, "I'm fine with the prenup," he was lying. Good prenups have things in them to benefit both signatories, and take into account that marriages change through the decades. For instance, a better prenup in this case may well have stated that if the marriage lasts for 15 years, OP gets his 1/3 spousal share back. That sort of thing. But I think he was lying when he said this was all fine. That was a cold response to his wife asking for comfort. And the prenup was the reason he gave for it. Sure. He might have just been told by the PI he hired that she was having an affair and he was pissed off already when he came home..... But that's not the reason he gave.

[@ajsopel]

Story 1: Don't do anything without a paternity test, consider unwillingness to participate as it's not yours or it's not real. If she is pregnant and its not yours ANY action you make asides from testing will be used to force child support. If she isn't and you are friendly it will be reinforcing an unhealthy obsession towards you.

[@DemonAngel]

Unless I get something absolutely amazing with a "test" I will cut everyone off