I'm Considering Breaking Up With Boyfriend As His Proposal Is NOTHING Like I Wanted r/Relationships

[@TheArmyOfGoats]

I always planned I would propose by hiring a zombie flash mob to chase us and I get bitten and as I dig around my intestines I would pull out the ring…. No idea why I’m still single

[@doeheart7118]

That sounds cool just make sure the right person likes the idea lol

[@diamcole]

I think that actually sounds fun haha memorable for sure! And the fact that someone would take the time to plan something unique would be crystal clear, imo.

[@icantchange.youtubesaysine7338]

Damn. I would love this idea. I would literally say yes to my partner if they did that. Then again, I’m obsessed with zombie fiction. But… I would make sure the other person is okay with this, lol.

[@miloveXzelda]

You just need to find the right partner, i am afraid of Zombies, so it's not my cup of tea but maybe some of my girls may be really happy

[@Kris-wo4pj]

Find a partner who loves horror movies. It should work out just fine.

[@Davtwan]

“Well put it on?” He didn’t even do the verbal part of a proposal? Duuuude. That’s not dropping the ball; that’s choking the entire game.

[@GraveyardMaiden]

What sucks is that if the relationship wasn't already a flop, the proposal could have been given bit of a redo or something but damn that was the last straw

[@mattharrell6880]

😂😂😂...are you married?

[@bautistalover]

That’s probably not how he envisioned it happening. The last comment from the first set was probably spot on. In that moment he probably did feel it was the right moment.

[@mattharrell6880]

@@bautistalover fortunately he found out his girl has some serious issues.

[@MuDkipzCHancelLOr]

I didn't even propose to my wife. I just asked if we're going to get married after I bought a house and took her out ring shopping and destroyed my savings. I was broke for a year. Guy was probably just full of love at the moment probably. Maybe pressure washing made him think of having a home to take care of with her or some day and he just had to do it at that moment. People are funny. Also, what's the deal with these reddit types bashing young marriage? My wife was 18 when we started going out and we've been together 12 years and married 9 year. I'm not sure why they think riding the carousel is the answer for everyone. Maybe it is for some but it's just such an ignorant thing to suggest as a blanket solution. If you get a scratch off ticket for Christmas and win $10,000 you're considered an idiot if you put it all back into lotto tickets.

[@helenafarkas4534]

second story has more updates. to summerize: op took her ex to the cleaners and UTTERLY destroyed his life. I'm talking no money, no family, even the side piece left him. she also destroyed him professionally as well, not only getting him fired from his job, but ruining his reputation to the point where he can't get another one. all because ex was too moronic to know when he was beat - see here where her goals are relatively modest here. you should read the whole story - Uno Reverse on a nuclear level

[@NervousKraken]

Damn that's satisfying to hear

[@saskia8567]

Was the update under another username? Can't find anything

[@gypsygem9395]

Sounds like something made up by Apple Texts. Do you have a link?

[@jakemarie828]

Do you have a link?

[@shells500tutubo]

OP even got a job from one of the reddit commenters who lived in Ohio!

[@EveryDayALittleDeath]

6:30 wtf, NO! It was absolutely not a proposal from the heart, because he didn't even ask her to marry him! He just told her to put the ring on. No human being has ever been so overcome with love for their partner that they need to propose right then and there and yet somehow fail to even say so much as "I love you more than I can say, I want to be with you forever. Will you marry me?" That's ridiculous, that isn't how people work.

[@boo2764]

Story 1: he literally didn’t propose he just told her to put the ring on.

[@DePhoegonIsle]

She didn't really want to marry him anyways, if I'm honest. 'Took away the only thing that was for me' like? excuse me? yes a proposal is meant to be about the two involved sure & special to each couple, but... 'The only thing for you'? Like you got more problems than just someone wildly missing the mark on proposing or even doing it poorly.

[@coreymartin6486]

@@DePhoegonIsle my dad gently tossed my mom the engagement box while she was lying on a couch. They've had an amazing marriage to the point that they were almost inseparable. They even talked about selling the house and just travel the country camping in a camper. They were married 35 years before he passed away unexpectedly. Mom mom struggles daily 7 years later. Don't read too much into one moment, no matter how much she might think about a special proposal.

[@Tijggie82]

@@DePhoegonIsleI don't get this attitude. Why can't a person, who believed their partner loved them, be disappointed by the completely disrespectful proposal? Because it was disrespectful. Didn't even ask, couldn't be bothered to care for her suggestions. Why did he even propose in the first place? Glad she left him.

[@emanx222]

@@coreymartin6486 No no no. While your story is sweet you completely ignore the elephant in the room....was your mum as particular about how she wanted her proposal as OP was? If she wasn't then of course she wouldn't be anywhere near as bothered. OP spoke about this time and time again, the ex had literally no reason to fuck up. This isn't about "reading too much into one moment". This is about the ex's level of utter disregard for OP's feelings. I mean come on. It's like you're comparing apples to oranges here and you know it too lol

[@emanx222]

@@DePhoegonIsle did you even listen to the story? What she actually said was that he "took away the only WEDDING RELATED thing that she wanted" since she didn't want a wedding, not that she didn't want to Marry him....she literally clarifies that she just didn't want a WEDDING..big difference my guy..this Is why actually listening to the story is important

[@Songinmyheart9398]

Listen, my husband proposed after slow dancing in a hotel room because we couldn’t sleep. No ring. Just a long rambling speech about how much he loves me. I was sobbing before he even asked. I always wanted the grand proposal with flowers and the whole nine yards. I still said yes. Key part: he asked. He was excited and full of love. And he asked. OP’s (ex) boyfriend just said “well put it on” wtf is that

[@faesolada445]

My husband proposed to me at a Carl Jrs. restaurant. We were sitting outside, making small talk and he says “Wanna get married?” I laughed and jokingly said, “Sure.” He grinned, picked up one of his onion rings, lightly dipped it ketchup; and slid it on my ring finger. I laughed again and asked if I could eat the “ring”, he said go ahead but don’t eat this one then produced the real ring. We’ve been married for 10+ years. small edit: I forgot to add that it doesn’t matter where the proposal happens, long as you feel strongly that this is the man you want to spend, hopefully, your whole life with then the proposal can be very simple. That being said, I don’t think the OP is in the wrong for being upset by the way her ex proposed. “Put it on.” … like Song says, “WTF was that!?”

[@fytrndm]

Yup, the key is they asked. My friend literally asked his girlfriend, in front of us, after a day out together, during a group dinner consists of a dozen people and it made sense for them. I still remember the words, it was like he was asking her to the movies lol... Him: Hey, you wanna get married? Her: Yeah, sure. Why not? It was so them though but didn't stop us from being shocked for a bit because, man, we're at a cheap arse restaurant, you're proposing _here_? Really? They're still happily married.

[@TheAsianOfChaos]

This warmed my heart I’m dealing with a less than a vibe breakup and somehow this made me feel a bit better I hope y’all are happy because fuck that’s cute

[@alucardzutain6062]

Men dont get swept off their feet, but we dont do it with our Spouse, then were the bad Guys... Stop watching Disney Princess Trash and get Real...

[@a.a131]

Key word : Wtf is that 💅💅

[@hannahwishon9958]

Story 1: I don't think many of the commentors listened to the update, or hell, the story. OP wanted a proposal. Not a grand one, but a basic romantic proposal. OP didn't get a proposal at all. He never asked, "will you marry me?" He *told* her to put the ring on! Right after they powerwashed a driveway! I'm not suprised by OP's reaction. She didn't want something fancy, just something nice. She didn't want an expensive wedding, she just wanted a proposal. This can show a lack of caring for her feelings, or just be an idiot being overly excited. Overall, man's got some explaining to do.

[@carolroberts4614]

I made the mistake of thinking it was quite sweet when my ex and I decided to get married, without a proposal at all really.....well it didn't mean we were in tune with each other like it seemed. Before we'd been married a year he was chasing after another girl. He just wanted someone to look after him while he got up to whatever he liked!

[@stephanien6237]

I can’t tell if she wants a marriage. She goes on about not wanting a wedding, but wanting a proposal. But never mentions whether she wants to be married. I agree with the commenters saying that they are not on the same page and he doesn’t seem to listen to what she has (apparently) said repeatedly. If he doesn’t listen to any of these key details, you should e to wonder what else he doesn’t pay attention to about her needs and wants.

[@miafiolekova5817]

@@stephanien6237 she did mention she wants to elope and maybe get maried at a courthouse. Thats why she wanted at least a nice proposal. And i think she was pretty reasonable with that instead of a large wedding she wanted a proposal that she could remember with a smile on her face.

[@gypsygem9395]

@@stephanien6237 she mentioned she wanted a quiet wedding or elopement. What she meant about not wanting a wedding is that she didn't want all the bells and whistles, just the two of them (plus a couple of witnesses I guess)

[@sparklemotion8377]

She power washed HIS driveway

[@Russman67]

The thing that gets me about the suggestion, I can't even really call it a proposal, is that he just handed her the ring and said put it on. Hell when I proposed I was completely tongue-tied and I think she knew she was about to be proposed to. This story felt like he said "Well all right I guess you'll do".

[@jakemarie828]

Yes it definitely gave me "that'll do, pig," from Babe lol.

[@owl7072]

Story 1: Op didn't even want a wedding, just a nice proposal and didn't even get a "will you marry me?" despite _months_ of discussing it. Dude literally just grabbed the ring and told her to put it on then sat there acting like he didn't know what happened. I'm not exactly into big, flashy proposals, I'd prefer something more quiet and reserved, but even _I_ would be rethinking things if I spent _months_ talking about possible plans only to have all of them ignored and, on top of that, not even have the actual question asked, just told to "put it on" and that's that. Op's not shallow, it just sounds like he straight up couldn't care less.

[@der23]

Lol for real she didn't even want something big just thoughtful. Bro didn't even have the sense to actually ask lmao "just a put it on." Like he handed her a new shirt or something.

[@lee48lee68]

He looked at her after they washed the car, she was raw and dirty, probably had no makeup on and in that moment he felt so overcome with love for her that he went inside and got the ring he chose for her and proposed. That’s romantic.🌹❤️💕 I also understand why she was disappointed. In 40 years she’ll appreciate how deep his love was in that moment. Having said that, everyone is entitled to their expectations.

[@julieana4695]

​@@lee48lee68 but that's selfish. he put HIS feelings before hers in a very crucial moment of their relantionship. it's not like he didn't know what she wanted but you're telling me he was so into his feefees he couldn't spare a thought for hers?

[@AngelaMastrodonato]

@@lee48lee68 before reading her update, I had considered that a possibility, that his idea of meaningful was different than hers and neither were faulty. That still means they could be incompatible and who’s to say she’s wrong for wanting the proposal she wants. I also found it hard to believe that after 5 years together there haven’t been other disappointments from OPs ex. I was thinking, is this really the first time he dropped the ball? Then after OPs update a clearer picture emerged. She was putting more effort into the relationship than him and this wasn’t the first disappointment in their relationship. There’s a subtle nuance regarding the difference between an understated yet meaningful proposal and a perfunctory lazy proposal. Based on the update, his proposal was the latter.

[@lee48lee68]

@@AngelaMastrodonato -You’re right. Only she knows what she wanted and only he knows why he interpreted it that way. They’re probably not a good match based on expectations. Edit: Taking the time to choose and purchase a ring so he can marry a girl he loves is never an insult. He had good intentions.

[@sweetstacks3631]

Story 1: Hold on, she did most of his college academic work? Am I misunderstanding this? Girl, he's been taking advantage of your kindness and love. OP deserves someone way better and someone who'll take her desires into consideration.

[@jakemarie828]

Yeah hopefully she will learn from this and treat herself better in relationships going forward. Good thing she wasn't baby-trapped by this user.

[@originalshiba5065]

honestly.... This reads exactly like a friend of mines proposal. He proposed at Christmas at his parents house and she was silent for like 2 mins before he started getting teary eyed and she said yes..... I've been begging her to leave his ass before they get hitched. He asked for a hall pass right after they got engaged lmfao

[@kaykay8855]

Story 1: op never wanted a grand proposal but I can understand being upset about being proposed after you power washed the driveway and feeling dirty. He didn’t even say ‘will you marry me?’ Just, ‘we’ll put it on.’

[@queencatherineofaragon938]

That man said, “ I’m going to go to the bathroom,” right before whippin out that ring. What lovely imagery to have in your head while being proposed to 🤢. Really ties up this messy event with a neat bow on top.

[@kaykay8855]

@@queencatherineofaragon938 like op, I don’t care for grand gestures but everyone has a way they want to be proposed to

[@birgittabirgersdatter8082]

He wanted to marry her and probably right at that moment his emotions overwhelmed him and he gave her the ring. As long as the man is the one you want to say “yes” to, what more do you really need?

[@Lisapizzza]

@@birgittabirgersdatter8082 I'd like for him to actually ask me for one thing

[@luciaaylenpaileman4582]

@@queencatherineofaragon938 I know that, while watching the story I just thought about him flushing the toilet and then the "proposal". No mood at all

[@LisaApril]

If a boyfriend showed me a ring and said put it on, I would not consider that a proposal. The ring would simply be a gift that I was told to put on : ) I’m so glad she left him. This lady deserves real love that can withstand the highs and lows of life, And a real partner.

[@justine8387]

He didn't propose.

[@lizfraiser3993]

Story 1: NTA. Case and point; my dad had a romantic and elaborate plan to propose; fine dining, fancy dress, a starlit carriage ride, the works. Mom opened the door, dad fell off the stoop, and popped the question right there, not five minutes into the date. I say this, bc that is how someone gets so overwhelmed with love they bungle a proposal. Dad was literally knocked off his feet. He still took the time and effort to plan a lovely evening for her, so even though he fell over and ripped the knee of his slacks, he still showed her that he cared.

[@jakemarie828]

This is such a cute story. 💗

[@Riomy13]

My dad's proposal to my mom included him drenching her in water. She laughed, he laughed and he said at that moment he knew she was the one for him. Proposals don't need to be fancy, but they need to "feel right".

[@lsmmoore1]

Story 3: Sounds like BF was just saying he'd start a Twitch channel as an excuse to game all day. Like, really. Who says they're going to stream and then doesn't even start an account? Someone who doesn't actually intend to stream, that's who.

[@jakemarie828]

Yeah she's being played

[@akl2k7]

Yeah, it seems like a pattern with some of these loser guys. Step 1: find girl with money. Step 2: date, move in, possibly even marry or impregnate her (obviously not in this story, thank goodness). Step 3: once she's roped in, quite your job, stop putting anything into the relationship and do whatever you feel like. Who cares that you're now financially dependent on her! She *has* to pay for everything and you don't need to do anything. You got a bangmaid who works and who'll take care of you. Gosh, those guys are pathetic.

[@BiologicalClock]

I thought OP would be TA, but woooow, that edit made it clear that the "proposal" was pretty much the same level of effort that her bf put into their relationship. I hope she grows up a bit more and meets someone who is willing to listen to her needs and reciprocate her affection instead of taking all the time.

[@ginathecookie]

she wouldn't be the TA either way bc she doesnt want a fancy proposal, just one that show he loves and cares for her

[@gypsygem9395]

And how much he put into his academic work by the sounds of it. Sounds like he just wants to be carried his entire life

[@BiologicalClock]

@@ginathecookie That was exactly my point, the title makes it sound like she had overly high expectations when really she just wanted the minimum amount of effort put into it.

[@messinalyle4030]

I don't think 1st OP's reaction to the "proposal" makes her immature at all. Look at all the effort she put into their relationship for little reward. Look at how carefully she communicated her wishes for a halfway romantic proposal. Life partners should be willing to acknowledge, and if possible accommodate, each other's most important wishes and desires. It's a vague possibility that he was so swept up in the moment that he just decided to do it then without thinking or planning a more romantic approach--but if so, he must be *very* emotionally robotic. I think it's more likely that he took her for granted. Which would be another reason why they shouldn't be together.

[@charityquill4965]

Yeah if it was a moment that just struck him, op maybe would have mentioned that at just that moment he acted strange. But it seemed like nothing unusual was going on, and op didn't think twice when he said he was heading inside.

[@mavallor]

I confess I was ready to roll my eyes at OP but that was the most half assed proposal I have ever heard of. I’m no fan of big overly elaborate public proposals but a proposal should still be special. He proposed as casually as a mom tells a kid to try on a new pair of pants (he didn’t even actually propose he lol)

[@KateKatastrophe]

I wouldn't call being dispointed that your partner doesn't listen to you or care what you really want "frivolous"

[@jakemarie828]

Exactly! It's not about the extravagance, it's about the insincerity! Replace "proposal" with anything else and he still completely ignored her wishes.

[@83gemm]

This isn’t OP being disappointed by there only being three golden swans at the flash mob diamond shower proposal her BF spent eight years planning and saving for. She made it clear for YEARS that she wanted a thoughtful proposal. He didn’t even propose at all! “Well, put it on.” Knowing she had to leave soon? TF? “I was just excited.” So you put that before the ONE thing she has communicated is important to her? Is he dense or uncaring?

[@littlesongbird1]

Controlling. It sounds like the relationship was one sided and he just wanted to keep her.

[@sylvestercat1898]

Idk about you guys, but I felt zero love and overwhelming emotions whatsoever from that “proposal.” Like, he knew what she wanted and it’s literally the only thing she cared about and yet he acted couldn’t be bothered to giver her that. “Well, put it on” is not the words of a man who’s madly in love with you and want to spend the rest of his life with you. And then hearing all she’s done for him and the little he’s done for her… that guy clearly just wanted a servant who’d do anything that he’d ask her to do.

[@cyreneB]

the audacity of people calling op in first story immature for her very valid feelings

[@WobblesandBean]

Story 2: Yet another wretched husband being an objectively horrible person. Wow. I hope OP can get a lawyer.

[@brigidtheirish]

1: *HE DIDN'T EVEN PROPOSE!* Dad got over-excited and proposed to Mom early. An *actual* proposal, though, granted, they were in the middle of making supper. Mom just told him to stir the soup. He got the proposal right the next day. Update: Hold up. OP *did most of his school work?* Wow. And that's just item one on the list. As for being too immature, she probably is. But age isn't the only determining factor. There are folks who get married at *20* and have stable, loving relationships. I'm related to some of them. Much of it is about developing prudence at a young age. 2: I remember this story. Wow. The husband still *SUCKS.* My dad's reaction, "He *say what!!???* - Then he - oh, dear. *Oh, DEAR!!!"* Update: Proof that most people are good. 3: Grade A loser, right there.

[@jakemarie828]

Yeah the school work thing took me for a loop. She basically got his degree for him by the sound of things. Maybe he proposed because he felt obligated by guilt? What a shame. I'm glad OP didn't settle for him.

[@brigidtheirish]

@@jakemarie828 And couldn't even be bothered to *ask the question.* JEEZ! No wonder he had her do his school work for him.

[@jakemarie828]

@@brigidtheirish yeah. Disgusting!

[@hvensward]

i really dont think OP is immature or anything in story 1... she really wasn't asking for much? she just wanted something meaningful. being "proposed" to while sweaty and tired and sitting outside your house is far from that. i wouldnt even consider it a proposal, he didnt even ask "will you marry me". i think a lot of people would be upset/bothered by that. he couldnt think of anything better?? after how much she talked about it to him? she even says she doesnt need anything elaborate. she just wanted thought put into it, i dont know why people are so judgey.. i dont think shes immature at all for that. her bf clearly had not listened to anything she wanted. the way OP explained, he literally could've just taken her for dinner or to the lake and done it there. when shes not covered in sweat and tired. he put in absolutely no effort.

[@hvensward]

like all the people commenting that her standards are too high or that the bf dodged a bullet... he didnt even propose. he did not say "will you marry me." that is the bare minimum for a proposal. saying "well put it on" is not proposing

[@DueEa9]

Same! Even if she wanted something more extravagant that would be between her and her partner who would decided if they approved. I hate that women are raised being told the proposal is one of the major events they will have in their life and then shamed for wanted some effort behind it. Everything with wedding culture shames the woman for asking or wanting anything (obviously not the crazier stories) but a lot of these women seem to want what should be the bare minimum. I’m appalled

[@hvensward]

@@DueEa9 yeah! im shocked by how some of these comments are. she doesnt even want a wedding, she just wanted a nice, meaningful proposal that showed her partner's love. thats not a huge ask especially when she doesnt want something public. i dont know where people are getting this idea that shes immature or a brat from.

[@cayo2031]

No one owns her a proposal she’s entitled

[@despinasgarden.4100]

@@cayo2031 and no one owns the ex a "yes" to that proposal.

[@Swnsasy]

I absolutely understand OP being disappointed in the proposal.. That didn't even come off as one.. "Well, put it on." How is that a proposal at all? The bad part is, THEY DISCUSSED IT! It's serious though because it sounds like a lack of respect for OP if they talked about it over and over and he just said, Here.. How could he miss the mark on that one? My husband were cuddled up on the couch and when a commercial came on he got up, got to his knee and asked.. That was PERFECT for me!

[@jennilynne1977]

Mine dropped to both knees after our song played and told me that I was the only one who ever made him feel like he was truly loved. Then he apologized for not having a ring. I told him it was ok that he didn't have a ring and told him I would happily marry him.

[@sfx387]

Exactly. OPs partner seemed to be so emotionally detached from the way he "asked". I don't believe the idea that he was just overwhelmed with emotion because of how "there you go" he was about the whole thing. OP deserves someone who is excited to propose to her and wanta to do it for her.

[@sashwing7726]

Hmm I don't know something is missing here. If anything for the original post it doesn't sound like a proposal at all just sound like he wanted to get her opinion on a ring. There are some men that ask their girlfriend to try or wear the ring before the purpose in a big way.

[@fytrndm]

Yeah, that caught my attention as well. My childhood friends are married to each other. They're one of those people who met the love of their life at eight and are still stupidly in love. My friend asked his girlfriend. This was _after_ a day out with all of us, and we're just having dinner as a group. Imagine ten confused people when he just turned to his girlfriend and asked her "hey, you wanna get married?" and her going "sure, why not?" Look, we knew they were going to get married eventually but that proposal was...why do they need ten witnesses lmao? It fits them and they're still happily married now. The point was, he asked and she didn't care how he proposed and said yes. It was just their personalities.

[@sfx387]

@@fytrndm honestly happy for your friends and you're right that for some people that's all they want/need but from OPs story it sounds like she's talked about how much more important the proposal was to her than even the wedding and seemed to have told him some of her expectations so the fact that it was so "here you go, casual Saturday interaction" was what was so heartbreaking for her. I am in no way saying that EVERY proposal has to be a grand public affair (omg I would hate that!) But it sounds like she wanted something more than that and has spoken about it so it is disappointing to have it just said so casually after pressure washing a car together...

[@Raggmopp-xl7yf]

Story 1: At first I thought this would be an entitled princess moment and that's not what I got. I've been in her shoes before and it seems to me she told him exactly what she wanted and he made sure - purposely - NOT to give it to her. I think she made the right call to end this relationship. That would have been her entire life with him. He would go out of his way to never give her what she specifically asks for - no matter how small - ever! Story 2: She'll find she's well out of that massive mistake. Not that her children are a mistake. But that will be the only good thing she got out of him! Story 3: Oh NTA - she NEEDS to get rid of that freeloader! No way she should have put up with it for even a single month! NO ONE quits a job without having another one lined up unless you plan on sponging off someone else!

[@rainorld2493]

"Im a straight woman, but can I be your new boyfried?" Got me by surprise 😂

[@lugi_L]

Story 1: This reminds me of one of my coworkers ex who, for her bday, instead of buying her a cake or even say happy birthday he bought her a box of cake mix and icing then went out to hang with friends. She couldn't even eat it because she's allergic to nuts.

[@faeb.9618]

holy shit if that hadnt said ex i would've been pissed

[@jakemarie828]

Wow what a jerk. Bare minimum is insulting. Better to have just forgotten.

[@akl2k7]

Hope she saw the sign for what it was and broke up with the loser.

[@pixiedream1938]

Story 1: THAT WAS NOT A PROPOSAL!! it even seems that he deliberately wanted to offend her.

[@InuMokuba]

Story 1: In semi agreement with a comment left about him finding her beautiful in that moment even when she felt gross. That would be sweet IF HE EVEN ASKED. Option 1: Realize she is gorgeous even after y'all are tired and dirty after hard work. You go get the ring, come out and say "Life isn't always going to be pretty, it will get hard and messy and yet even in our tired and worn state, your beauty takes my breath away. *Get on your knee* it's now I see that you're the person I want to be by my side, muck or shine...OP will you marry me?" Option 2: See she's beautiful and offer to draw her a bubble bath. Bring her her favorite beverage and give her time to relax. After she's out, have dinner ready(doesn't need to be fancy) and/or let her lounge in a robe and give her a light massage. Feet, legs, back/shoulders, work your way to her hands. Take one of them: Either slip it on her finger mid massage for added surprise or if you feel that she'd find such a thing too forceful(some enjoy it some find it controlling to not ask) hold her hand and get on your knee and ask. Say it's cause I'm a female, but I thought of those two scenarios in the span of the comments to the update. The issue here is he didn't even ask, or do a sneak slip on, he just handed it to her. Even if she spelled it out for him, there were ways he could make it his own. Even with her feeling gross he could attempt something akin to option 1.

[@gypsygem9395]

I so agree with your first scenario - he could have totally made that car washing something to remember, even planning it before they started and made it into a fun time where they end up splashing each other etc as well. Then when the car's finished (if it gets finished!) go down on one knee and ask. (Ffs ASK!) I'm sure she'd have found that romantic even if it wasn't along the lines she'd expected.

[@jas1007]

We've had stories with people who dont work to follow their dreams of being twitch streamers before, but this guy cant even be bothered to set up an account and still calls it his "career".

[@fytrndm]

He didn't even ask though? Didn't he just tell her to put the ring on? I have been a witness of a proposal and let's be clear, this was a random one that *no one* at the table saw coming but it fit the couple perfectly. It was my two childhood friends who had been seeing each other for a while, the male friend just went "hey, you wanna get married?" to the female friend and she replied with "yeah, sure, why not?" without missing a beat. Yes, everyone at the table were shocked for a bit because this was dinner after bowling and no one expected to hear anyone proposing when you're a little sweaty anyway. Still, my friend _asked_ his girlfriend and that's the important thing. The wording. He didn't assume, he asked. I don't think they even got a ring until weeks after that. They're still married. I have extremely unromantic friends but even then they tried for their partners. One friend even hated fancy dinners but guess what he did? He treated his wife once a month to a nice dinner just them. Other dates are more laid-back and sometimes we're third-wheeling them. His wife finds it hilarious, thankfully 😂 Well at this point I'm (and another two unmarried/not in a relationship friend) third wheeling everyone who are in a relationship lol... Anyway, ask your significant other when proposing. It doesn't have to be a grand romantic crap. It can be random and completely ridiculous but fits the both of you. Don't just tell them to put on the ring like you bought a shirt and wanted them to try it on-that's just sad. And it makes me wonder if OP's boyfriend even wanted to marry her.

[@randalthor741]

From the title I expected OP in the first story to be super entitled and wanting a massive spectacle of a proposal. Boy was I surprised! He didn't even ask her to marry him, so I don't think it even technically counts as a proposal... I mean, you don't have to go all out and propose on top of the Eiffel Tower like I did (hell, from OP's update she wouldn't have wanted that anyway), but come on, at least wait for a romantic moment and *actually ask the question*

[@jakemarie828]

Yeah it was giving me "might as well" not "meant to be". Boo. 👎 There's going overboard for clout and then there's undervaluing your partner. Frankly, a lot of people would appreciate clear proposal instructions, and the fact he did not listen at all is the bigger sign that it's not gonna work.

[@KCCAT5]

Same

[@CygnusPrime]

*Story 1* I am glad OP clarified what she meant by wanting her proposal to be special, The movies, Disney and Instagram have created a warped view of weddings and proposals in general. In OP's case, she was not looking for a Disney or movie style anything, she just wanted her proposal to be meaningful to her and for her BF to demonstrate that she actually matters to him.

[@mm.akoshark]

if i ever get married and a guy proposes to me while we're all sweaty and gross after cleaning something.. .. 💀

[@jakemarie828]

Idk there's a way to make that hot in an "as you wish" princess bride farm boy way but that... that was trashy.

[@drea4195]

Story 2: It's actually impressive to me that the in-laws rallied around OP like that. I would have liked that kind of loving, supportive relationship with my in-laws...but then again, they're the reason my ex turned out the way he did, so it was unsurprising that they ghosted me the way they did when the divorce started. OP, you're on the right track. Don't let him talk you into taking him back, he's showed his true colors.

[@jakemarie828]

Yeah my ex's inlaws took his side too. It was to be expected I guess.

[@littlesongbird1]

I once had to kick out an abusive freeloading ex (yeah I was young and stupid, better now). His father found out what had happened and called to tell me he was sorry I had to put up with that and that he told his "no good son" that he was too good for me and to never talk to me again. He told me to save his number and if my ex ever tried to reach out to me or showed up at my door again to call him and he would drag his "Ungrateful son" away from me himself. He finished up by telling me, "You are a good person with a lot going for her. If nothing else, please get yourself a guy that deserves you and not a loser like my son!"

[@nightcorelucario2218]

I was ready to tear into OP from the title but after hearing the proposal, that was absolutely rubbish

[@jakemarie828]

Truly 💩

[@thecrebain6760]

Story 1 - It was obviously a very important moment for OP. The way I see it is, if a loved one of yours has a vision or wish about this one thing in their life, just do it. Make them happy with it. And this is not even an occasion where he'd have to make it expensive or difficult to organize. He just had one job here, to show her he cares about something she wanted so badly. At first hearing it might sound like someone complaining about an imperfect proposal (which, it wasn't even one to begin with) but in reality this is a huge red flag for their future. If he ignores what would have made her so happy.. what's the point? Love is about caring and respecting your partner, he doesn't even seem to have thought one bit about this.

[@WhitneyDahlin]

Still she was very ungrateful! I always had a dream proposal in mind (I think every woman does) but I never told my now husband exactly how I wanted the proposal to happen because I wanted it to come from his heart. And when my husband finally asked me, I was so happy and thrilled to be marrying him, I didn't even care it wasn't what I had envisioned from when I was a kid because I was just so happy! The proposal was perfect because it came from his heart! I wouldn't change a single thing about it. I don't think she really loves him and we can't know what he was thinking maybe it was like the commenter said he was just so overcome with love for her he couldn't wait and didn't think it would be a big deal. And if she really loved him it WOULDN'T have been a big deal. My brother-in-law started dating this girl when he was 18. And now 10 years later they are finally getting married this year after she basically dragged him kicking and screaming to the altar. She had his family pressure him, their friends were pressuring him and he finally bought a ring just to shut her up. And then he had the ring for 2 years before proposing. Frankly I believe he kept the ring for 2 years because he was procrastinating. He doesn't want to really marry her. He claimed it was because the proposal had to be perfect and he proposed on a beach with rose petals and candles. It was exactly the proposal she wanted. He followed it to a T. Do you think this is going to be a happy marriage? Because I sure don't. I don't think it's right to force your significant other through emotional blackmail to propose exactly how you want them to propose. It's meaningless then. The proposal isn't from the heart it's them following a recipe of exactly what you want and how you want to be proposed to so you can get the Instagram pictures or have the story. You are basically completely ignoring what a proposal is supposed to be all about to begin with. A proposal is supposed to come from your heart. And it isn't coming from their heart when they are following your directions. The proposal is so much more meaningful when you don't put pressure on your partner and they do it of their own free will in their own way. THAT is what a proposal is supposed to be like. Anything else is just a farce.

[@jimmyjohnjuan]

@@WhitneyDahlin sorry I read the first 2 sentences and just can't finished. Headache but off her post seem she's more in to being proposed extravagantly than being in to him. She could have told him "bae we have talk about this, I was a extravagant proposals" maybe imply some suggestive afterward idk but her reaction is a red flag and I would question on moving forward. I've haven't proposed to anyone yet but I imagine I would lose a lot of sleep till I did it. But I doubt there was much thought on how the other felt on both there parts.

[@iasomnium919]

@@jimmyjohnjuan I don't know... Guy came up while they were sitting, and set the ring box on the table. Apparently they've talked about that she wished for a romantic proposal before, so he knows. If she was complaining about "only" getting a candlelit dinner or going to a scenic spot and proposing, sure, I could see that as her being entitled. But he didn't even ask "will you marry me?", just told her to put it on. At this point, I personally can't blame her for how she feels.

[@TyDaWaVe]

@@WhitneyDahlin ​ she never pressured him for a grand proposal, just one where someone ASKS her to marry them and not TELL her to just put on the ring. Your husband asked you, he didn’t tell you. It’s like you only heard the title and commented immediately.

[@greatbrandini3967]

@@WhitneyDahlin she didn't even really have a real "dream proposal". I went into this video expecting to be saying that the OP was TA, but this guy not only ignored OP's one (extremely reasonable) wish regarding their entire union, he managed to make it come off as entirely thoughtless for no apparent reason. He knew how important this was to her, yet he couldn't even be bothered to explain why it had to be right then and there. Now, we're left with the picture of a guy who apparently either didn't care about his GF's request, didn't want to put any effort into a proposal, or is emotionally immature and doesn't know how to express himself to the woman he's been with for years. All of those are pretty big red flags.

[@kerribottriell-baxter7345]

Last story = throw the fiancé out, he KNEW what he was doing.

[@clarrie93]

Ngl, I was REALLY ready to call OP entitled from the title because hey, it's a proposal right? And unless you arranged it yourself, you can't really get mad. But then hearing the context (them already talking about it, she already told him what she wants) AND ALSO THE NONCHALANT WAY HE DID (I went WTFFF when he said "well, put it on" FCK I WOULD'VE GOTTEN MAD TOO)

[@paulchaudoir190]

Story three. Do him a favour and give him a month to move out. He lied about the situation. He just wants her to pay for everything so he can game all day. It's time to drop him. And one month is a good enough warning since he didn't give her any when he quit his job and then turning her into his mommy.

[@strawberrysangria1474]

I'm with OP on the proposal story. Finishing chores and tossing a ring at your gf isn't romantic, especially if she's said that the proposal matters to her. It's not even that she didn't like the location or the moment wasn't right, he just bought a ring and called it a day. I'd be questioning how well he knows her or cares for her. She made the right decision, this wasn't the relationship she wanted.

[@moneybun]

I've heard Story 2 so many times and I'm still absolutely livid when I hear it, with my anger towards it doubling each time. Not because of the repetition, no, but because this nearly-exact scenario happened to me and my mom. My dad never cheated, nor did he give her an STD, but he sure as hell drained the joint account and kicked me and Mom out right after my grandma just died. He plotted this for two years and blamed it on the tax return that Mom unknowingly spent on the business that they co-owned back then because it went into the business account. It's *sickening* to think that there's somebody out there, *worse* than my dad. I wish OP and her kids a better life and the dad a horrid one where the only thing going well for him is *work* so that he can pay child support and alimony. And I hope that, if she didn't catch that STD early enough, that he has to pay for her medical bills, too, since *he* gave it to her. Despicable.

[@jakemarie828]

Me too. It makes me absolutely livid. My mom's ex brought home STDs to her before she met Dad and before I was born. She felt pressured to work it out because she was young and Catholic, but he did it to her multiple times. She left him before they had kids, but one of the STDs she still has to live with. This guy sounds like your dad and my mom's ex combined and I... truly cannot imagine having the anti-spine to do that to a person you supposedly once loved. What he did should be a federal crime.

[@huinismith]

Alright. Let me see. Story 1: I kinda feel sad for OP. That didn't sound like excitement from the boyfriend, it was more like "OK, let's get this thing done." Story 2: It's so relieving to hear that both sides of the family circled the wagons around OP as soon as they knew. Story 3: what an ass. I facepalmed when I heard "my fiancé". BTW, something I learnt too late in life: Don't follow your passion. Follow the money, and use it to fund your passion.

[@cjandauntieyaya1446]

Story 1: OP and her BF appear to be incompatible in a romantic/empathy kind of way. OP should look back and see who in the relationship makes the most effort when it comes to pleasing and making the other special. If she looks back and sees that she is the major contributor to the emotional health of the relationship, she might reconsider this engagement. Does she want to stay with someone who will continue to not put any romantic effort into making her feel special? Will she be the only one concerned in providing joy to the relationship? Is her BF actually a taker but not a giver?

[@AlbowaSinema]

Disney princesses Nonsense. He should leave this child and move on with his life. What a sad people.

[@sparklemotion8377]

@@AlbowaSinema how is your marriage?

[@Flakey101]

I also see she is not a honest person. This is her story yet she admits to lying to 2 different people in the course of the story. It seems like she has a trouble with telling the truth and I would not want anything to do with her either.

[@jakemarie828]

@@Flakey101 who did she lie to?

[@Flakey101]

@@jakemarie828 Her boyfriend and an unidentified person she was talking to about her relationship.

[@lindah3803]

Story1: IMO, proposals are 1 and done. There are no redoes. Once the ring is revealed, that's it. A 2nd proposal won't have the spontaneity or magic. It has to be done right 1st time. OP realizes this isn't the relationship for her, good.

[@Lady.B0420]

He didn't even ask her to marry him. He said "Go ahead, put it on", jeezus

[@shhd2105]

I feel like he didnt even propose, did he even say "will you marry me" just "put it on" huh

[@cynicalminion]

as much as i've heard youtubers or twitch streamers talk about "making the jump", they DID NOT DO SO UNTIL IT WAS FISCALLY RESPONSIBLE TO DO SO!!

[@joec8321]

It's 2022. She is too entitled for it. Why didn't she get down on her knee and propose to him. And hear him that her proposal is not good enough. Geez.

[@rosemarie1817]

He couldn't give you the one single thing that you've told him countless times, offered suggestions, ideas, and he still failed so, so bad. Both in your relationship and in your proposal. Story 2: He's a scumbag, you're entitled to take this to court, and fight for what you deserve and need to survive. Keep the in-laws, ditch the husband and get that cash. Story 3: NTA, ditch the freeloader, or at least force him to get a job and get him out of your house.

[@jakemarie828]

Lol a 3 for 3 on "dump that schmuck"

[@Ifrit86]

"thanks for powerwashing my driveway. here's that ring you wanted" ಠ_ಠ

[@cynicalminion]

i'm sorry, but even if you'd discussed it at length and decided AGAINST a proposal, "well? put it on" is NOT the way to start an engagement!!

[@jacegallagher8589]

Story 1: NTA. It would be different if he simply took you to a nice restaurant but not the exact one you wanted, but in this case he put in zero effort. If I ever propose to a woman, I would make it the most extravagant event I could muster.

[@karendaniel620]

Reddit comments are bad about reading between the lines. Somehow, sweet and romantic became expensive and over the top. He was just overcome with love and decided to propose? HE DIDN'T PROPOSE!!!

[@Raaslen]

Story 1: I think this is that kind of story where we would get a completely different one from OP's ex. But I guess that at the bottom line they were just not compatible anymore and that the proposal thing was more of a "last straw" thing than an issue on its own.

[@vanzy01]

👍

[@VesnaVK]

Anyway, he's out of college, so he doesn't need her around to do his homework anymore. /s

[@despinasgarden.4100]

Story 1: NTA and i'm surprised at all the coments here calling OP the AH, i usually don't like the idea of big dramatic proposals, i feel they are a performance more than a meaningfull moment/gesture, that said, it doesn't mean that a proposal shouldn't be romantic or toughfull, OP isn't asking for a Disney proposal just something with feeling and to be honest, his proposal was shit, he didn't even said "would you marry me?" and is not like she never told him how she wanted to be propose, they talked about this but he didn't care. OP has every right to be upset with him. After hearing the update, i would break up with him completely, sounds like OP has giving more that what she is getting from this relationship, so sad. They are both young and OP agrees she is not mature enough to marry, i hope when she gets older she'll get the proposal of her dreams.

[@DePhoegonIsle]

Got to love when you start to take accounting a relationship, and have it use on hand. Pretty big flag.

[@despinasgarden.4100]

@@DePhoegonIsle You taking about OP or the boyfriend?

[@OriginalAsherella]

Oh my God, if I could get someone to support me while I worked on my KZbin channel full-time I would not take it for granted. This dude just sucks.

[@Tammohawk1]

1.That was a very lame proposal. But I'm glad someone told OP that they are too young to be married due to him not proposing the way she wanted and for her being so upset over something very frivolous. I think he was just going through the motions because they had been together for so long and that is what everyone expected. 2. OP's husband can't kick her out of the house. He bumped his head. I'd tell him good luck with that and then call his family and let them know what he's been doing. Including the STD. And then I'd go scorched Earth on his ass. How sad that it took a week for the little one to realize dad is gone. 3. What career is OP ruining? He doesn't have one. OP needs to kick this guy to the curb because he's not willing to work or put any effort into anything except trying to manipulate OP.

[@izzisart]

Story 1: That last commenter putting a romantic spin on it is really giving the boyfriend waaay too much credit. The guy didn't even ACTUALLY propose! Yeah, he could have made the exact same scenario cute and romantic, but he didn't- he just handed her the ring in a way that, in context, made it seem like he didn't care.

[@salomerodriguez5145]

I never understood people who do uniwork for their partners, that's so bizarre to me.

[@LoveableNiki]

Story 3: NTA. This guy scammed OP. This guy moved into OP's house, knowing OP could manage with just OP's income, and quit his job. OP has been supporting this guy FOR SEVEN MONTHS. Chile!!!!!!! I'm amazed that y'all find yourselves in these situations. DUMP THIS BROKE BOI!!!! Advice: If you find yourself in a similar situation, as soon as the person VOLUNTARILY quits their job with no notice to you, give them notice to vacate IMMEDIATELY.

[@akl2k7]

Yeah, she let herself get turned into an involuntary sugar momma.

[@owl7072]

Story 3: Him: _moves into Op's place, gets gifts from her, and quits his job so he can pursue twitch streaming but still has yet to actually make an account_ Also him, to Op: Get a real job lol Dude is really sitting here, in a house he doesn't even own, that was bought with money from Op's current job, and telling Op to get a "real" job while he himself doesn't even have one to begin with and then has a fit when she won't buy him an expensive new computer afterwards. Throw the whole boyfriend away.

[@stirrednotshaken4823]

She won’t have financial problems when she throws his butt out the door! Long overdue in my opinion 😏

[@akl2k7]

@@stirrednotshaken4823 Heck, if anything, she'll be saving the money she'd be spending on her unwanted sugar baby.

[@jakemarie828]

For the people saying proposals are silly and don't matter: If you've ever talked to old people who have been happily married for 50+ years , they talk up their love. They make it legendary. The "meant to be" -ness of it all propells them through the hard times. People can call them grandiose and meaningless gestures, but if it's what OP needed to attach herself and build that love story in her head, then it was extremely important. Nothing about that proposal gave me "meant to be;" it gave me "might as well," and that's not something anyone should attach themselves to til death.

[@laurelrhodes744]

What part of that was even a proposal? That was a random showing of a ring with an implied offer of marriage. I get that one comment that said “this was the perfect moment for him” is saying, but still… “Well, put it on.”?! Not even a “Will you marry me?”?!

[@Kstanimal]

Thank you Mark! Story two is so SAD OMG 😭 I'm so glad she got everything in order.. that lady is a badass!!!

[@AndyyWithAY]

I never understand these women who do everything for these men and then are surprised when they are taken for granted. You did the majority of his course work in addition to everything else. WTF! I hope OP gets herself sorted out before getting into another relationship.

[@strawberrysangria1474]

There's a lot of relationships that will leave you in a love-drought. People are so desperate for affection that they stay for even the tiniest drops of love. They hope more drops will eventually become a puddle. It's hard to leave your supply when you're parched and there's no certainty you'll find better, but it's worth it when you finally find your lake of abundance.

[@vanzy01]

👍 she turned herself into his servant but is now surprised that he don't appreciate her. I'm glad it took this lame proposal for her to finally wake up.

[@LB-gz3ke]

How did it take a lame proposal for her to realize he was not that into her? She did all the work. They only saw each other twice a week. He was not in love with her. He was used to her. And she couldn't have been that much in love with him either. If she was, she wouldn't have been able to just walk away.

[@jakemarie828]

She's young, so some of it comes down to being ignorant about what she deserves. The other factor could be who she has (or doesn't have) for support. I did my first serious BF's Spanish homework while he was texting other girls. I confided in family members and they warned me not to be a jealous B. He cheated the week of graduation but it was sexting so everyone (including my therapist) said it didn't count. It took another year and a half for me to break up with him, and I had to tell myself that being alone forever was better than being lonely with him right next to me. I wish I knew about reddit back then, woulda saved me a lot of heartache and self-doubt.

[@melle-d9971]

my husband streams on twitch, when he started i told him i support him so long as he keeps working enough to pay his share if he can. i made him banners and icons and even drew the art for his vtuber. i think you can be supportive in non financial ways

[@MsTemptation]

S3: NTA. Kick your freeloading boyfriend out because he’s using you as his cash cow.

[@browniewin4121]

1) You would think he could do better than that after his girlfriend talking about how much a proposal would mean to her. Why would you want to marry someone so tone deaf to your wants and desires? NTA to decide this relationship is not the right one based on his underwhelming and ill timed proposal. After update: I'm sorry fir OP to see this relationship did not go as expected and wanted, but she will be ok, better now. 2) Nope, OP is not the one to get out of the house, she needs to get an attorney ASAP. I suggest contacting the police to let them know how the husband robbed the joint account and is trying to kick her out of the house that is hers too. After update: So glad OP got the support and help she needed from family, and even strangers, and will no longer be stuck in a bad marriage and can make a better life for herself and her kids. 3) Wow, sounds like time to dump this deadbeat who is expecting a free ride with OP. He needs to be kicked to the curb. She is NTA unless she keeps this guy in her life.

[@jacegallagher8589]

Story 2: His actions were highly illegal in many aspects. By financially controlling you and your outcome, he committed Domestic Violence. Also, he cannot just kick you out of the house. There has to either be an eviction or police involvement for domestic violence. You actually have a case to get HIM kicked out AND make him support the bills pending the divorce proceedings. Get a consultation with EVERY divorce lawyer in your area. Once you've consulted an attorney, your spouse cannot use that attorney. Lock his ass out of every local divorce attorney if needed.

[@gypsygem9395]

Not DV but Domestic Abuse. Violence is with hitting etc. (Although the fact he gave her an STI might come under DV!)

[@sparklemotion8377]

Boyfriend thought, since we are saving tens of thousands on a wedding might as well save some nickles and dimes on a proposal.

[@mayurakshimukherjee7948]

Story 3, yes it's ruining his job as an unwanted sugar baby.

[@spectralumbra1568]

That wasn't even a proposal! He never even asked her to marry him, just "put it on." It sounds to me like he felt entitled to her, like he was just expecting his girlfriend to be his property for the rest of their lives, rather than asking her if she wanted them to be together in a loving relationship for the rest of their lives.

[@GraveyardMaiden]

1) jeez if it was just a botch proposal that could of been fixed with going out for a private celebration and photos, but damn dude put zero effort in the entire relationship

[@sophiescott143]

Story 1: I genuinely do not understand why the proposal matters. As long as he's not embarrassing you, why does it matter whether or not it's ultra-romantic? Acting like the guy is disrespecting and hurting you for not.... *checks notes* .... proposing in the right way.... is ridiculous.

[@hex9061]

You know until we got the context in the update I was just gonna assume he was eager and just skipped a few steps, now I'm just wondering why OP thought he would put any energy in it at all with the lopsided balance of their relationship.

[@vanzy01]

👍

[@DePhoegonIsle]

Ya, She 'says' he didn't show any emotions.. what so ever. Kinda weird how she can't even be honest to someone about how she feels to their face... and when they show actual concern about you seeming destraught.. you claim they didn't show anything towards you.

[@ReGGiEbayer95]

Playing devils advocate, I do wonder if she’s a lady who loves spontaneity but then in this circumstance wants a thought out plan, tough ask for 23YO dude…

[@ginathecookie]

@@ReGGiEbayer95 they talked abiut this for months so that's obviously not the case

[@BayerGregory]

@@ginathecookie ik they talked a lot about it but some dudes just can’t take a hint, no matter how explicit you make it, especially a young dude like that; he could just be a douche but I think one of the last comments in the video put it well, idk why he’d propose like that knowing she wants a well thought out proposal if it wasn’t just a spontaneous holy shit I love this woman!, on the porch after pressure washing… but again just playing devils advocate, you more than likely correct

[@kaitlynraw4899]

I've never had any kind of emotional reaction to any of these stories apart from yelling at my screen or my phone You are the a******, or you are not the a******! But the second Mark read and story two about her ex's parents bringing over $200 cash and a check for a lot more once her a****** of a husband deserted her and the kids after giving her gonorrhea, that instantly brought tears to my eyes. It was so kind of them. And they must have just been absolutely crushed to know that they had raised such a selfish a******. Who would try to erase his own family.

[@ShowdogTiger]

We had been dating for nine and a half years. We were sitting in a diner and he suddenly exclaimed: "We should shit or get off the pot. Your ring budget is xxxxxx. Pick out what ever you want as you have to wear it." Been together since 1977.

[@jessbeingme8155]

Shit or get off the pot is an actual marriage proposal? I thought it was just a joke from The bachelor lol

[@huinismith]

I'm on the floor, 🤣

[@ghosthoarder98]

Wow this comment section did not pass the vibe check. I wasn’t expecting all of the pick-me’s and mysoginists responding to a Mark video.

[@despinasgarden.4100]

Agree, too many people here calling OP the AH when the boyfriend didn't even asked "would you marry me?"

[@hvensward]

huge agree, i cant believe that people arent seeing the problem with that "proposal". he couldnt even do the bare minimum of asking "will you marry me"

[@ginathecookie]

@@hvensward bare minimum was asking AND showing he cared

[@hvensward]

@@ginathecookie yeah i completely agree, there was no love or care put into that

[@ebagentj]

Story Three: All the professional streamers and KZbinrs I know (which is honestly a few because one of my best friends became one and began running in those circles) made sure they had put in the effort and the audience was there before they left their "normal" jobs to devote to a regular streaming schedule. You don't just quit and decide you're going to make it big. Even aspiring actors have other jobs while they're going through the audition process. Furthermore, professional streaming is not as fun and glamorous as so many people think. It sounds cool getting to spend hours playing video games and getting paid for it, but you quickly get your fill of games. Most, if not all, of the professional streamers I know have lost all desire to game in their personal time because who wants to do work in their spare time? Burn-out is real but you're a public personality and this is how you're making your money, so you have to soldier on. My best friend had an incident occur where he needed to have oral surgery, and he'd have to take multiple days off for the surgery and a day or two for the recovery because he wouldn't be able to talk comfortably, and he was honestly worried about his finances just for taking those few days off (not getting into having to pay the bills for the appointments, surgery, and medication because we live in the US and streaming doesn't offer health benefits). I tried it myself for a bit on the encouragement of my friends before I could no longer game at all (chronic pain/physical disability) and it just wasn't for me. Although people assured me they liked me I never felt like I had the sort of personality that could carry a stream and make gameplay interesting while engaging with the chat, and honestly, I just didn't enjoy it. Just like any other job, even if it sounds like a "dream job", it's not for everyone and not everyone is cut out for it. Not that I think OP's boyfriend genuinely wanted this or he would have at least made a Twitch account, but just food for thought for the aspiring streamers out there.

[@stirrednotshaken4823]

Moved in and finally saw an opportunity to have someone else pay for everything…so why does he need to work now? 😡😖

[@gypsygem9395]

Very good comment. One can say the same about most things one enjoys - if you make it your way of earning money, you won't enjoy it so much after a while (I used to love sewing, had my own, very busy, seamstress business, now I very rarely sew, even for pleasure). Even people who study for degrees don't always go into the line of work the degree qualifies them for, due to burnout.

[@Mrs_Ella]

This happened to a friend of mine... She and her boyfriend are watching Rambo II. Commercial break comes on. He looks at her from the opposite side of the couch and says: "Wanna marry?" She said yes and they did marry, but it didn't last very long.

[@TeleologicalConsistency]

If a woman loves you it doesn't matter how you do the proposal. I literally just told my wife I wanted to marry her one day and she said yes. No ring at the time, no kneeling proposal. The "wedding" was in front of a judge and parents. No one else was invited. I have plenty of money to do so just didn't want to waste it. If a woman doesn't respect you no special proposal will satisfy her. If she respects you all it takes is a single question and nothing else.

[@AndyyWithAY]

No man is ever going to move into my house. What is wrong with the 3rd OP. You let this man live in your house, quit his job, and you're debating spending 1000s on a computer. Get a spine! Immediately.

[@Zaners82123]

I was engaged to while I was in the middle of a lupus flair up and sick. He was sitting with me watching The Frog Prince just randomly. Sometimes it doesn't matter some romantic gesture. It's the exact moment in time he knew he couldn't live without me and he just asked.

[@spaceunicorn6000]

Story 1: He's made it clear he's gonna do whatever he wants, and he doesn't care about her feelings. He knew exactly what she wanted, but he was more comfortable tossing it at her and saying 'well, put it on'. So that's what he did. And he just expected her to be happy about it. I can only imagine how this would escalate after they're actually married, or trying to raise kids together. She dodged a bullet.

[@Ambidexter143]

I was in the Navy and living with my then GF. We were doing the bills and she said: "It would help if we had a bit more income." I told her that if we got married the Navy would pay Basic Allowance for Quarters with Dependents which, at that time, would be about $100 per month. She thought about it for a moment and then asked: "So do you want to get married?" We stayed married for over 43 years until she passed away almost three years ago. Who says romance is dead?

[@Tottosmile]

"my FIL didn't say much but fixed the bathroom door, which is how he shows affection" ignoring the epidemic of emotional immaturity in men, this is really cute

[@kazzuo32]

I can understand she wanted a proposal not a "put it on"

[@OtakuWrath]

Story 1 - Imagine being with a woman that tells you how you're supposed to propose to her, goes ring shopping with you to help pick out her ring and tells you that she isn't interested in having a wedding so you're definitely not having one since she doesn't want one. Wow what a great partnership, Maybe she'll tell him what presents to get her on her birthday and decorate the house for her own birthday surprise parties. Surely she'd be sure to buy the tickets and set up the vacations for their wedding anniversaries. No need to worry about Christmas gifts, His gifts to her are already under the Christmas tree. It's very obvious why the man had very little excitement for the "surprise" proposal

[@lindahenderson3819]

Story 1: Run. Just his way of showing he has no intention of tending to your needs. Now or later.

[@bettybell63]

As soon as he quit his job you should have kicked him out.

[@Abi-ry4cn]

As hard as the situation is in story 2, I love to hear about in-laws helping out. So many times you hear of mother-in-laws hating the wife and siding with their son no matter what. It shows their character for sure, and her in-laws seem to be amazing people.

[@dragb9284]

So am going to be honest am not into extravegent things I don’t like big flashy wedding or ceremonies or anything but even I have to say the bf proposal was bad. Like at the very least it should feel somewhat sentimental, this just felt lazy.

[@alyzu4755]

Story 2: Well, STBX is royally screwed, isn't he? His family, OP's family, and everyone online who offered to help are wonderful people, and give hope for humanity. I'm so glad OP has resources and support.

[@taraized]

I had gone to an antique mall with my grandparents. We were sitting in a Cafe type area and how they met came up. In the course of the convo I found out my grumpa had never actually asked my grandma to marry him. So I proceed to scold him so he finally, after 60 yrs of marriage, asked my grandma to marry him lol

[@theresidentteacher2438]

Story 1: LISTEN ALL Y'ALL IT'S A SABOTAGE!!! Neither one of y'all ready.

[@Icalasari]

Story 3 - OPs job is more real than her SO's :u

[@drunkbillygoat]

Story 3. As a stay at home dad i do EVERYTHING to make sure when my wife comes home she needs nothing. I do it all. Clean. Cook. Have her coffee ready. Get a shower going when shes ready for it. Im supportive of her as i can possibly be. And i game in my free time. If he aint contributing in some way he needs a reality check.