I REFUSE To Make Food For My Wife After She Claimed To Her Friend I NEVER Cook - AITA Reddit Stories

[@puli_dreadhead]

Story 3. Op is letting her husband verbally abuse her child but throwing a book away is crossing the line. Hope grandparents get custody.

[@josephbrown9665]

He needs to record his stepfather calling him the names and then call cps on his mom and let them handle it

[@edna2185]

I believe the son threw away his father's Bible because his father is a hypocrite not following what is written within it. Where was the loving kindness? Where was "do unto others as you would have them do unto you?" What about, 'Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged." ,(Colossians 3:21)

[@andreavanhoof6047]

Story 3: YATA for allowing your husband for verbally abusing your son! You are unfair! If you were on your sons side; then you would not have punished your son for throwing away your husbands bible! It is not okay; but that is the consequence for being mean, nasty, vile to your son! This is verbal and emotional abuse!

[@andreavanhoof6047]

Story 3: Grow a spine and defend your son against your toxic, vile, narcissistic husband! YATA for punishing your son because your son warned his step-father that if he did not stop with his verbal abuse; he will throw away something of his! He followed through on his word and how dare you punish your son for doing what he had to do. Your son did not throw the bible away; you and your other half did by being such toxic and vile narcissists!

[@owl7072]

Story 1: Wife is getting restaurant quality meals for free and she's really gonna sit there and say she's gonna leave him if he doesn't start doing _more_ for her? Joke or not, that's such a shitty thing to say. And for what, so she can keep her shitty friend happy? I'd react the exact same way Op did if my spouse made me look like a useless deadbeat for literally no reason, especially after I spent 5 days a week making meals for them after a long ass shift. I work in a restaurant too and the last thing I want to do is cook when I come home. Edit: "She's mad that I'm refusing to feed her" what is she, a toddler?

[@sinakirainine1719]

"My fully grown husband bullies my teen like a grade schooler. My teen gets fed up because my poor husband was bullying him in front of his friends and throws away a bible after warning my grown husband he'd do so. AITAH for punishing my teen to appease my poor angelic husband who could do no wrong? 🥺" Yes Op. Yes you are. What a terrible mother for allowing this

[@susankaempfer8427]

I just can’t even… what an effing bully. Kiss your sun goodbye the instant he turns 18.

[@mgaus]

Alternatively: "my husband chooses his imaginary friend and an ancient set of books over being a member of the family"

[@SR-og5ec]

@@mgaus A grown ass adult believing in their imaginary friend is a big red flag

[@LillyianPuppy]

Whenever one person is expected to "keep the peace," it's code for, "We've let the other person be awful for so long that we've created someone who is incapable of basic decency. Therefore, it's your job to eat their behavior and pretend like there's no problem because finally holding them accountable would be too much work... for us. "

[@lorifiedler13]

Be the bigger person. Gag.

[@Prettypoisonswitch]

I swear the two phrases I have grown to hate the most are " do (insert thing) to "keep the peace." And "Be the bigger person. " Both are just excuses to let shitty people get away with shitty behaviour so someone else doesn't have to be inconvenienced by making the crap person own up to there actions.

[@kaylawest2088]

Mine was "Be nice."

[@damien678]

Jeez, did Story 3's OP learn how to deal with bullying situations from schools? She didn't do shit for him, he gave a warning, and this was him trying to get the BULLYING FROM A GROWN MAN to stop because nobody else was doing shit that worked.

[@robertx8020]

Well she did SOMETHING :P She helped the bully

[@stephanien6237]

She’s choosing her verbally abusive husband over her son. Not to mention that she is the breadwinner and “doesn’t have time” to stand up for her son.

[@alezot6141]

Story #3: the title should be "AITA for allowing my husband to verbally abuse my son, and then punish my son when he retaliates?", and the answer is - yes, YTA.

[@itsjustmaddisen]

Honestly, OP disgusts me as well for just letting that happen to her child.

[@BruinPhD2009]

@@itsjustmaddisen That’s the really sucky part. She’s done nothing to protect her child from an effing bully.

[@Russman67]

I'm just surprised that the husband is so upset that he lost a bible. It's obvious to me he never read it or he might have come across the passage where he's instructed not to push his children to wrath. But then again this seems like the kind of Christian that just like to beat you with the Bible and not actually read it so....

[@itsjustmaddisen]

@@BruinPhD2009 And she said she isn’t defending her husband’s behaviour, but she actually is by not doing anything about it. She sounds really stupid, clueless and probably one of the most emotionally dumb people I’ve heard on AITA.

[@Ambidexter143]

OP allows her husband to bully her son but punishes him for doing what he said he would do if the bullying continued. ESH. The son should have just kept the Bible, not thrown it away so a little bit AH. OP is major YTA for allowing the bullying to continue. Stepfather is also major YTA for being a bully.

[@wmdkitty]

NTA. You DO NOT EVEN TOUCH OTHER PEOPLE'S FOOD WITHOUT ASKING! Sister had no right to throw out any of that food, and should pay OP for what she destroyed.

[@belledomnik]

That story about the stepdad is infuriating. I hope grandma or someone calls CPS. Son is being abused and mom is complicit. Gross

[@dustyrose192]

they wont do much about verbal abuse. Maybe grandma can take him in

[@ynmonroe]

3rd story: At first I thought he was the dad. It would have been wrong still, but a stepdad? This is even more egregious. He clearly doesn't deserve the right to "parent" OP's son. And she is the only breadwinner? What the hell does she have this guy for? An adult bullying a kid using a church as a weapon? Such a hypocrite. How does this guy even have friends? And the OP is as bad. If you're not helping you're hurting; it's as simple as that.

[@SH-qs7ee]

Given that the boys retaliation was throwing out a bible, which in his own words could be easily replaced by a trip to the church, I have a suspicion that's what lies at the heart of the matter. It's quite likely the stepdad has been trying to make OP join his church, gotten quite insistent about it, and when the son continued to refuse, started this campaign of verbal abuse against him.

[@robertx8020]

Why is it worse when it is the stepdad? (I would call it terrible in both cases) But at least you could make a point that it is worse when you do it to your OWN flesh and blood! Or maybe the 'dad' was jsut being a 'good christian';

[@MissFinkwell]

I was only half paying attention and missed the part saying it was his dad doing this. Based on the behavior I was hearing, at first I thought this was his brother doing this or something, and when I realized it was in fact his stepdad I was like "WHAT?"

[@danganryanne9499]

@@robertx8020 I think they're saying it's more worse because he's the step parent and he shouldn't punish the son like that

[@onnas5610]

There's definitely more to story 2. Op's sister comes over for Christmas and I'm going to assume that she eats the food her parents eat that definitely has preservatives in it. So why does she have a problem with op having preservatives in her house? Nah op's sister definitely haas some issue with her and trying to purposefully upset op.

[@toysruskid5074]

There's definitely more. Sister is 30ish and married and her behavior is anything but. There's something that seeing her younger sister go out and party set off or maybe some call or other trigger and the parents are doing both kids a disservice with this ridiculous reaction. If I had to wildly guess, older sister is either resentful of her lost youth or her husband is cheating on her with a younger woman.

[@AndyyWithAY]

No ages were given, but the sister is a married college graduate. Sister doesn't deserve an apology. She was a guest in someone's home and decided to throw out $1000 worth of food. Yikes!!

[@ashh4929]

Right?! She moved states 10 years ago so she is at the youngest is like 29/30 years old. Far more than old enough (and like you said married to boot) to know that is stupid as hell and has zero logic. I mean, even the spices?! Some of those are so expensive nowadays butt even if they weren't, it's still completely asinine and wrong. Most people with an IQ higher than a toaster are fully aware that this is not an ok behavior by the time they're a teenager. And the only doing anyone "a favor" was OP for letting her crash there and THAT'S how she repays her?

[@zerobolt9506]

Yea I thought this too

[@GabrielleHayes1921]

@@ashh4929 I didn't even catch on to the age, holy crap that is even worse. I mean yeah it still sucks after 8 years old because even a middle schooler knows better., But when you actually put together that she's probably 30 or almost 30....just holy crap, I think I would have slapped my sister harder than possible.. sometimes I'm grateful I'm an only child, but I have two kids and if either one of them ever did this to the other they wouldn't be staying with me either until they gave an sincere apology, and the second they did the same thing to me I would call the cops on my own child I don't even care, you're going to learn a lesson today I'll tell you that much. But honestly if either one of my kids ever did that not only would I be disappointed in them but in myself because I'm the one who raised them, and if I raised them to think that that was appropriate, then I seriously screwed up my child and I don't know how I would cope with that.

[@audreym3908]

The only time you throw someone else's food out if it's dead (aka has mold growing and smells like death).

[@sablemoreno5095]

Not even just that, but in a rising inflation economy and shortages (at least 7% if not closer to at least 15%) what is like $1k could easily be closer to $2k for replacements IF it can be found/isn't in low or out of stock I mean, there's tons of people who need food, so it's also just generally insulting to them to waste SO much. Like, food banks would have LOVED to get the prepackaged food for people since there's little to no cooking for some. Like, some serious psychotic (or Golden child) behavior to think that's OK and that the person who's food was tossed out was the one who needed to apologize.

[@AndyyWithAY]

Where exactly is the joke in story 1?? Something is seriously wrong with the wife. Why would you care more about what your friends think than your spouse. This reaction is light for what the wife had has done. OP is NTA, but the wife is an enormous AH!!!

[@StilltheAp0llyon]

Story 1: Dinner Strike The wife has clearly been making herself a martyr by telling people that her chef husband never did any cooking. The friend didn't ask *if* the husband cooked for the family, she asked why doesn't he do *any* cooking and why it is *always* on the wife to cook for the kids. She didn't ask why he didn't cook at parties, but specifically for his family. The only way she would have gotten this idea is if the wife told her and it was their joke about the husband. The 'awkward vibes' the wife wanted to avoid was her friend learning she had been lied to by the wife.

[@pansprayers]

The awkward vibes were Stacy being a bitter weirdo who projects her weirdness on everyone. Luckily, they worked it out, but Stacy's time in my house would come to a grinding halt.

[@AngryReptileKeeper]

I can't fathom why the wife made such a claim. It's like she just wanted something to rag on her husband for, but had to resort to making things up. If my man was a professional chef and brought me home custom meals for me, I'd brag about that shit SO hard to every other woman I know. This chick needs a swift kick in the perspective.

[@BW022]

Yes, I'd be asking my wife a lot more questions. 1. Why is this woman bashing her ex-husband? Have you ever spoken with her ex-husband and gotten his side of the story? Even if he's terrible, she picked him. 2. Why are you friends with her? 3. Why do you think she would be happy if you bashed me? 4. Has it ever occurred to you that his woman is alone, divorce, and bitter? Has it ever occurred to you that she's jealous you have a good husband? Has it ever occurred to you that she'd probably feel better if you also ended up divorced? 5. This woman just got you to lie about me and disrespect me to my face. Worse, you didn't see it as a direct threat to our marriage. That I know you are capable of lying about me and in front of me. That I'll never fully trust you again. 6. Why did it take you so long to even apologize? Didn't you see your marriage was at risk? 7. Did you talk with her about this? Did you keep lying? Did she say you're right, deserve better, or fill your head with doubts? 8. Have you ever discussed our marriage with her? Sex life? Her sex life? I'm willing to bet she sleeps around, correct? 9. Why don't you see this woman as poison? Even the fact you want to lie about me to her should be a clear sign you shouldn't be near her? 10. Would you be willing to record all conversations with your friends and give them to me? Why not? Sorry, we have bigger issues than cooking. It's clear you are stupid, weak, and hang around people who are a direct threat to your marriage. That fact you are still talking to her is proof you just don't get it. If one of my friends said crap around women and started imply you... I'd toss him out in a second.

[@KadeStringer2.0]

@@BW022it was a joke

[@bjtaylor-j9w]

He will hold this over her for the rest of their lives, and use it as an excuse not to pull his weight with the housework or childcare. SHE does all the washing, ironing, cleaning, and childcare. SHE does all the school runs, parents evenings etc. SHE has to be the one to plan everything, and remember birthdays, and other important events. HE will refuse to do anything. He is a little boy, who needs to grow up, and pull his weight. I hope she can be free if this 'man' quickly.

[@Mewse1203]

Story 2: NTA She massively overstepped and stole from OP. She doesn't get to come into OP's home and tell them how to live... and mom wants the victim to apologize? Nope. the sister needs to apologize.

[@JUMALATION1]

If I actually had a pantry bigger than a shoebox and made the investment like OP did I would absolutely demand compensation. If the value actually was a thousand bucks, it could qualify for the equivalent of small claims maybe. During my younger adult years, my mom poured out all of my imported liquor just because "it wasn't right to own that". I was mad as all hell after discovering the empty, previously unopened bottles in the closet.

[@Ambidexter143]

This is another case when the victim is the one who's expected to apologize. If I were OP then the sister would never set foot in my house again until she paid for her theft.

[@robertx8020]

I agree but I have to say that I thought the last comment was a good one ;)

[@robertx8020]

@@Ambidexter143 I would not even talk to her until she paid!

[@MildredCady]

I wonder how the parents will think when the Sister clears out their pantry.

[@4BWVan]

Story 2: I smell SEVERE Golden Child here. Severe. I don't even think OP realizes they are clearly the scapegoat of the family. Can anyone imagine anyone but a GC throwing out A THOUSAND DOLLARS in food and spices and yet the parents are SO desperate to "have them back" they DEMAND the other child apologize to the perp? I really really hope that OP starts doing research on GC/SG dynamics and gets into therapy ASAP. This is not even close to the first GC event that has happened in this family and OP probably doesn't even realize how completely unhinged it all actually is.

[@DiscoTimelordASD]

Story 3: My blood was BOILING. You're supposed to protect your children - fu** the spouse!

[@AndyyWithAY]

Wife is even more an AH given OP's history and that she knows about it. I hope she really does make changes because she was so wrong

[@Scientision]

I would argue that she isn't an AH. She didn't really CHOSE to be cruel, when she had a viable option to be kind. She ducked up, ending up doing something cruel because she had a split second decision and she went with kind of the default of following along with the conversation. And to be fair, prior to hearing this have you sat down and thought, "I need to be ready to breakup the flow of this conversion, in case one of my friends incorrectly puts us in the same boat as them, as they grouse about their spouse"

[@ianmoritzplatapino3684]

Agree, and she is a walking red flag by mocking her husband and take a lot of time to apologize. This relationship won't end well for the op

[@locusxe1411]

@@Scientision well she was an ahole. She did choose to be cruel which was her screw up. She was an ahole and acknowledged she was. That’s a good thing but she definitely was an ahole in this situation

[@Daydream_N]

@@Scientision when it's phrased as a question, the correct response is "Oh! He brings home food every night when he works!" instead of laughing and agreeing with the friend. It's not disturbing the conversation, it's being honest. The wife was intentionally an asshole

[@robertx8020]

@@Scientision What a BS argument ...but will you stick to this argument when next time a woman is insulted in front of her man and her man goes along with it ? Or is it just because it's a woman this time? She was a HUGE AH! Even if she corrected it later

[@ShatoraDragondore]

Story 2: Looks like we know what child is the Golden Child and what one is the Scape Goat. Over $1000 in food just tossed because Sister didn't like existing around food that wasn't even hers. Mom and Sister need the pony up and pay OP back a grand in food that OP may or may not be able to afford to replace.

[@lorifiedler13]

OP should "shop" at his parents house.

[@StrawberryChaiLatte]

Story 3 - there would’ve been no reaction like this from MY kid because she would’ve put a stop to this shit from the get go. The first time the words left his mouth and her son made it clear that it was not okay with this she should’ve crushed it then and there. She’s a crap mom and she married a crap man.

[@damien678]

Story 2: OP legitimately needs to do what that last commenter suggested. say she's right, then start throwing away the parent's food. fuck it, if they can't admit how bad sis was here just be the absolute pettiest.

[@robertx8020]

Yes that might work

[@gabebarnes6814]

Or don't throw it out, but take OP's parents' food home with her, claiming she threw it out. Now she doesn't need to replace the food the sister threw out anymore.

[@robertx8020]

@@gabebarnes6814 It might not be the foot OP wants to eat as she more or less said in the post

[@gabebarnes6814]

@@robertx8020 Better than a thousand dollars of nothing.

[@TheIronwil]

Story 1: I wouldn't be so quick to forgive something like this. I can't even imagine what would go through a spouse's head to make them think that insulting or demeaning their partner is a good idea. She threw her husband under the bus for no reason but to amuse her friends and look... I don't know.... good?

[@AZUREPHOENIX777]

If the parents in story 2 insist on making OP apologise, then they should have the sister throw out 90% of their food and see if they still feel the same afterwards.

[@RedReaper666OG]

Last Story: YTA × infinity. OP's reward for being "Marge Simpson" (a mother who sees the abuse and does nothing) will be no contact ever again the instant that kid moves out.

[@puli_dreadhead]

Maybe the title of Lois Griffin is better suited for her actions. Lois adds to the problem instead of stopping them when Peter is a horrible father figure. I don’t remember if Marge punishes her kids for eventually responding to Homer’s abuse.

[@amazinglynn]

Yeah I didn’t see much of the Simpsons but Homer and Marge seemed nice, just a little slow. The Griffins on the other hand….whew Peter and Lois fucked all them kids up 😂 poor Meg

[@Icalasari]

@@amazinglynn I liked the episode when she came back from prison and made them all fear her

[@CooperGal24]

@@puli_dreadhead YES! OP DEFINITELY sounds like Lois Griffin; Ignoring the abuse that happens to her family, while ALSO adding the abuse to it! This is WHY Meg is seen as the Underdog of Family Guy, always the misunderstood, always the neglected, always the ignored and ALWAYS the ABUSED! This is the MAIN reason why I stopped watching that series, because not only is the "Abuse Meg" a "Gag" that's been done SO many times and is tiring to begin with, but who the f*** thinks that abuse on ANYONE is "Comedy Gold", especially abuse on a kid or teen? I'm glad I'm not the ONLY one who thought that abuse against other characters is downright cruel and vile! But yeah, any parent who enables and ignores the abuse on their own children, or even abuses their children themselves, are NO parent at all! They're scumbag evil psychos that needs to lose ALL rights to have kids!

[@sephiroth661]

What about the son

[@amandab8433]

Story 3: WTF! Why is this "mother" allowing her husband to verbally abuse her son? Those aren't "nicknames", he's straight up abusive and she's letting him do it. If I was the son I'd be reporting him to any adult that would listen, and definitely tell other family members what she is allowing to happen.

[@lovelysakurapetalsyt]

Yeah and she claims she's "on (her) son's side" but she's not, she actively is punishing a kid for reacting to abuse

[@vulpixle9659]

Sound OPs throwing her son away to get laid

[@stephanien6237]

Well…She’s allowing it because she is a sh!tty mother. Ask the husband if Jesus would be happy to hear his dad use the abusive language towards the son…

[@2ndbreakfast29]

Reporting him won't do shit. You could scream that shit to the skies and yeah they'll look into it but odds are he's not hurt or dying so, at least in the US, you'd be stuck in a bad situation with extra angry assholes at home. Ideally nobody would have to suffer like this but this is how it is.

[@musicallydisneyamvs6731]

S1 I Personally pray to God I marry a man whose a great cook. I’d be beaming with pride & bragging to company & friends. NTA. Glad she came around & apologized.

[@jnnamartin]

Ha I wish I'd married a man that could/would cook!

[@robertx8020]

@@jnnamartin LOL Want to marry me? Just kidding ...but this was too easy ;)

[@itsjustme7487]

I married a man who kept telling me that men were better cooks than women. When I said fine. you can cook, he said that he didn't mean me.

[@musicallydisneyamvs6731]

@@itsjustme7487 Ha! 😆 Everyone gangster until malicious compliance huh?

[@leafyishereisdumbnameakath4259]

I'm 20 years old and a man and I can cook.

[@ashh4929]

Last story: So par from the obvious, OP is the bread winner, so... Is the husband's only useful talent, what... standing on a soap box? Just what EXACTLY does he contribute here? He doesn't even give bare minimum courtesy, let alone at least providing a supportive household. Obviously to the son but not even to his wife when she tried to have serious talks (if she's to be believed) and apparently doesn't have a job either? Yup, real winner there lady.

[@SH-qs7ee]

What do you expect? Guy sounds like a God-botherer who likely sees OP as his reward for being a 'good little christian soldier', put in his life by God to provide for him.

[@AndreNDP]

@@SH-qs7ee Seems like the type who's too busy protesting abortion clinics and making the life of everyone he encounters hell to pursue gainful employment.

[@SH-qs7ee]

@@AndreNDP Used to know someone like that. Used to say "God will provide" when refusing to work. Only it wasn't God providing, it was the charities and foodbanks who could have been helping people in actual need.

[@AndreNDP]

@@SH-qs7ee Oh God, I hate those. And none of them can have ever read a Bible, because Jesus is, like, not at all conservative. He's actually pretty socialist: takes a sex worker into his inner circle, takes stands multiple times against the rich exploiting the poor, feeds and heals people without expecting remuneration. We aren't called to just celebrate Jesus. That doesn't really achieve anything. We're called to ACT LIKE Jesus. To go out and help people and make lives better. Make no mistake, 90% of churches are great. Most charity work you see is attached to a church of some sort, and a lot of them have taken great strides to improve on a very scummy past. That just makes that remaining selfish, exploitative, and evil 10% all the more so.

[@ashh4929]

@@AndreNDP @S H Yup, guess twerps like that also forgot the proverb "the lord helps those who help themselves" and "to treats others as you would have others treat you". Bet you five bucks he has a hard-on for the ones like "honor thy father". Ug my "dad" was like that. Could quote the freaking bible and rant to you about what he "thought was wrong" but could also point out all (and patroned) the whore houses in the seedy part of town and is an abusive, disgusting, depraved glutton, but yay Jesus when it serves my needs. 🙄

[@kristys7172]

When my kids and I were dx with celiac disease, I had to clean my pantry of all gluten containing foods, I gave everything to my brother. Throwing away food is so wasteful.

[@carolroberts4614]

I was thinking of my sisters! Over the years we have all borrowed stuff from each other's stores when we've been broke! Never in a million years would we throw food away

[@asmith8692]

My sister decided to toss some frozen chicken because it was something she wouldn't eat. She then replaced it with three pounds of fresh chicken. My dad, who HATED chicken, ripped into her over that. The only reason we were thawing that frozen chicken was to finish it off and suddenly we had two more meals of it.

[@pansprayers]

Yep. Trash my working pantry, be prepared to pay.

[@skeltonslay8er781]

Story 2: now, this may just be because food is what I live for, but she wouldn’t have even got to explain. She’d have been gone

[@carolroberts4614]

Living to eat is much nicer than eating to live! Tastier food!

[@skeltonslay8er781]

@@carolroberts4614 gotta balance both though

[@SidereusOfTheFallen]

Tbh I think I would have been handcuffed for this. I would have completely lost my everloving stuffing.

[@skeltonslay8er781]

@@SidereusOfTheFallen I see what you did there

[@sarahhardy8649]

I can’t imagine emptying my sister’s fridge, let alone her pantry. This just boggles my mind, it’s not what a visitor does, let alone visiting family. It’s thoughtless, wasteful and just plain old effing expensive. Also, the fact that she hasn’t done it to the parents just shows this was a personal dig, nothing at all to do with “helping”. This was meant to hurt.

[@stephanien6237]

Sister sounds like she is their entitled AF or she has an untreated compulsive disorder. Either way, she needs help and needs to apologize to OP.

[@briant7134]

Story 3: if OP’s husband was that freaked out over the loss of a Bible, I conclude that he is probably an old school evangelical type full of “tough love” to help the teenager “man up”, and probably has very old school ideas about the man being the head of the household with the wife having to obey. I bet there’s a lot more rot in that household than just the step-dad and kid quarreling.

[@SH-qs7ee]

How much would you like to bet that the nicknames end when the son agrees to join that death cult whee do got the bible

[@moonlightshadowpony]

I saw the last story before the edits and I thought "if this man is abusing her son like this why is she not filing for divorce?" to which I thought she might be a SAHM or reliant on him, but it turns out that she's the bread winner?? So she's the one who's paying for everything while her husband bullies her son and she hasn't kicked him out yet? I'm honestly wondering if she was either home schooled or was a bully in high school herself because that's the only way that I could see her not seeing the fact that her husband is being a bully, not teasing, because teasing becomes bullying the moment that someone says "stop".

[@bgcorporation]

Story 3: Mom tries to justify in a small way. She's saying she didn't take her husband's side, but, she totally did. She did by not protecting her son. She's basically teaching her son to get abused. No isn't a complete sentence.

[@Alteusgirl]

story 3: am i the only one who didnt understand at first that it was a stepdad? that makes it 10times worst, because i could understand a dad saying "let me handle our relationship issue on my own (although the nicknaming should have stopped right away) but a step dad? OP is responsible to try and make them get along... and she's letting her husband verbally abuse her son because "i work long hours and it's tiring to keep the peace"

[@jvaderin]

Story 2 reminded me of the time my roommates boyfriend threw all the meat in my freezer away because they “expired”. He simply couldn’t understand that when frozen meat lasts a little longer. Oh I made him pay me back.

[@juanhaines7295]

Story 1 I've heard this one at least the wife told her friends the truth. But hopefully she sticks this new mindset.

[@TheArnaa]

Mark, mum is desperate for sister to move back to their home town after ten years out of state. She won’t risk upsetting sister by telling her to pay for the food or even that she should apologise. She’s pressuring OP to “keep the peace” so sister won’t get upset and decide not to move back.

[@atinyevil1383]

Story 3: YTA to everyone but the kid. As someone who has been that kid, don’t treat your children like this. Your adult-ass husband is LITERALLY bullying a child, OP. He wouldn’t stop, so the kid went nuclear. He warned you! What’s worse is that your husband is doing this in front of other people. That’s embarrassing to have your parent act like a child in front of other people, especially your friends.

[@biancashonhiwa4383]

Except the grandma, she's clearly being blocked from helping

[@robertx8020]

@@biancashonhiwa4383 I hope the GM calls CPS (if they are in the USA )

[@Cobalt_Rain]

OP's kid didn't go nuclear, what he did was minor, a bible is easily replaced, going nuclear would be recording a conversation in which he tricks the stepfather into admitting he does this, then saying he wants to go to church, where he then plays the message for everyone to hear. This is going nuclear and it is what he should have done. Based off what is said, this has been happening for years.

[@robertx8020]

@@Cobalt_Rain I agree ...what OP's kid did was no minor that it was hardly worth mentioning ...let alone punishment

[@ilbercgross4736]

@@Cobalt_Rain disagree. That could have been a gift from someone special like a dead relative. With that said, stepdad is a bully. He picks on the sons to prove how much of a "man" he is. Stepdad clearly sees the son as a threat. OP is tired of all the bs however she is doing thing to change it. OP is not going to do anything until there is a physical fight between her teenage son and her husband. I am betting she sides with her husband over her own son since that is what she has been doing so far.

[@LaineyBug2020]

Story 3: After reading the title I was sure I would be on the mom's side, but wow, letting your spouse call your son nasty names and trying to downplay it to 'nicknames'. Damn. Talk bad to my kid once and you're out. Where TF is your Mama Bear gene?

[@itsjustmaddisen]

Where the fuck is her common sense too.

[@dustyrose192]

my step dad used to verbally abuse us when he still lived with us. Hes a lot better now, but my mom tried to stand her ground (she not much better tbh, step dad is better now)

[@itsjustmaddisen]

@@dustyrose192 Good to hear he’s not a POS anymore. People need to realise they’re wrong and IMMEDIATELY fix the problem instead of just shrugging it off like OP3 and now making the problem worse ALLOWING her partner to bully a child.

[@mriddley]

Story 3: people like this dont seek to understand being neutral is picking a side in this situation

[@AllistorMichelle]

story 3: yta for allowing those 'nicknames' those nicknames are verbal abuse. your husband is abusing your son and you're allowing it

[@CurlyKirsty1999]

Son needs to leave and go no contact.

[@carolynkenney3330]

Wow this is the first time a story hit me hard. Started crying as soon as I heard those horrible names. As a person who qrew up with a father that was very abusive and once I hit preteens/teens. I was not called my name I was called, worthless, good for nothing, punk kid, and names OP describes. I gotta tell you those names hurt me more than the physical abuse. I am now 50 and just 2 days ago being in a deep depression I literally thought to myself was he right am I worthless. Haven't spoken to the man in over 3 decades....this shit stays with you. AND it's even more painful when your own mother won't stop it. Not protect you. My mother was exactly the same. My heart goes out to this kid. Damage is already done. Not that he can't still live a happy life,...after therapy. I just hope his mother steps up. I'm not counting on it or can get out soon...maybe Grandma's. Should have put a disclaimer Mark. I'm kidding I would have listened anyway my waffle friend.

[@JasperCatProductions]

Geez, wife can cook for herself, or maybe her precious friend can cook for her.

[@rmhartman]

I love the idea of apologizing then giving the parents kitchen the same treatment.

[@axepagode33626]

Cooking for Family Story: Your wife has too much pride. This whole argument goes away after she apologies. If she doesn't have the character to apologize for what she did, then she can cook for herself or go hungry.

[@SH-qs7ee]

Wife: "I had to go along with the joke or things would get awkward." *Long awkward moment of silence" OP: "So hows that working out for you now."

[@ajzephyros7454]

So Sister throws away all the food, and OP is the one who needs to apologize? What logic even is

[@carolroberts4614]

Some imagined grudge I would think. It doesn't seem as if their very close, and it doesn't seem that the preservatives are the problem, or she'd have stated in the parents. Complaining, at least.

[@pansprayers]

The, 'it's just stuff, she's your sister' fallacy. It's infuriating.

[@GabrielleHayes1921]

2) My husband and I with our two kids spend over $150 a week on groceries, and that's me giving a low number because I don't want it to look as bad as it is. Imagine having to rebuy not only produce but meat. I have a couple spices in the spice cabinet that cost $6 each. Honestly I think I would beat the ever living crap out of anyone who tossed everything I had out because they didn't think I should eat that. I would lose my freaking mind, I can't even lie. Edit: If for any reason I had to toss out a lot of my food because of an allergy or something else that came up, I would give it to my family and if it's unopened I would probably donate it. I might try and get money back if it's something I recently bought and it hasn't been opened yet. If I could maybe I could make a massive meal and give it to homeless people, but I would not let it go to waste, unless it's you know expired, lol. The sister sucks and apparently has some kind of issue with her sister if she's not doing it to anybody else. I don't know what the issue is, but it needs to get resolved if they ever want to be a family again. Either way I still wouldn't trust my sister again after doing something like that, and if she doesn't already she needs to get cameras put up in her home and outside of it because what if someone actually had broken into her house and done something like that and more? She needs to be able to have evidence for if something else ever happens. Remember people the cameras need to have night vision and audio, and weather resistant it's very important.

[@Tyanna01]

Story 2: My gut is telling me, sister bombed her job interview but doesn't want to say that. She created a situation where she was only thinking of her sister, so why is OP so mad to get out from having to admit she didn't get the job. Now she can use the spat with OP as her reason for not moving back, not that she didn't get the job. I honestly think it's a deflection of her own failings.

[@ShatoraDragondore]

Story 3: Your letting your husband bully your son. Full on bully name call and berate a child. And are socking he finally snapped back and hit him where it hurt. I get the feeling Husband didn't want to do the leg work to earn fatherly respect, and just assumed as soon as the ring was on OP Her Son would instantly obey him like OP seams to be. Or worse IS KNOWINGLY doing this to push Son back to Bio Dad and get him out of the picture of what He (Husband) wants the happy family to look like.

[@GabrielleHayes1921]

The fact that he even wants to cook every time he comes home after spending a whole day in the kitchen is amazing, I think I'd be burnt out and I would hate having to cook more. It's amazing that he wants to keep doing it. Makes me curious what he makes for dinner, I bet it's all delicious.

[@cloverite]

He doesn’t, he said he brings food home from work. So he cooks them at work or someone else does.

[@SH-qs7ee]

Yeah, OP is pretty awesome. I'm a cook myself, and after a day of cooking for other people, I barely have the desire to throw together a decent meal for myself. I lost about 20kg in the first couple of months of working, because my diet was basically coffee, ramen noodles, and the odd bit of food eaten while working.

[@liamisaac1152]

@@cloverite he literally says HE cooks for them at work. Go and read his comments. He prepares their meals himself. One because his boss allows employees to make food for them to take as long as they aren’t disturbing anyone else in the kitchen. Also because he said his son has various food allergies and he’d rather be the one cooking to make sure there’s no cross contamination

[@pansprayers]

@@cloverite he cooks the meals at work, after his shift is over. Pretty common when you're married to someone who has an awesome boss and works in a restaurant. My husband loves it.

[@amyrussell860]

@@pansprayers many times a person will be in 'work mode' -in this case its easier to prepare meals to take home while @ work since works in a restaurant than cook at home.

[@Mewse1203]

Story 1: NTA the wife really dropped the ball here. She completely through Op under the bus despite him making their food TO PREFERENCE every night. It isn't a joke... The fact that she is more concerned with "bad vibes" and not her husband's feelings is disconcerting. Edit: I'm glad she finally pulled her head out and she seems genuine.

[@AndyyWithAY]

OP cannot be serious in story 3. Why are you allowing this abusive AH around your children. You deserve punishment. You are an absolute failure as a mother. I'd like to know what your husband's church has to say about this abuse of a child. You are the parent! Not your husband. Your husband is the adult

[@edwardbickford8277]

Mark i had a small chuckle when you bought up the "spice guy". I totally remember face palming over that story. Lol

[@tuckersontim]

Grandmother needs to sue for custody. Site abuse by the stepfather. She might not win, but at least the son will see that he has someone on his side.

[@fantasticmrfox9291]

Last story, I love a 'Do Better' it's a scathing summary that doesn't resort to shallow insults that people can shrug off.

[@MsUnamusedNerd]

Story 2: *NTA* If sister really wanted to “do a favor“ by making sure OP is eating properly she would’ve also bought better food to replace everything she threw out instead of just wasting all that food. She’s not doing anyone any favors by reading their pantry/spice cabinet and throwing anything in the garbage with absolutely no plans to replace anything.

[@catking1059]

@16:44 OP is the AH for allowing their husband to verbally abuse their son.

[@purpleiguana208]

Story 2: Just to answer Mark's question about why the mom wants OP to apologize rather than the sister who threw away all her food... I can't speak to whether this is favoritism, that the mom actually prefers OP's sister to OP... or if it's just because OP's sister was gone far from home for so long and the mom just wants to have her close to home again. I feel like it's more the latter in this case. But either way, the mom is falling all over herself to make OP's sister feel comfortable and loved and whatever because she feels that if she admonishes her child for throwing away OP's food, then the sister will just be like, "Fine, maybe I don't want a job close to home anymore. I thought it would be nice to be close to family, but I guess not." Now, OBVIOUSLY that sort of personality should not be catered to and OBVIOUSLY OP did nothing wrong and the sister should pay to replace the food that she had absolutely NO RIGHT to throw away. I'm not suggesting otherwise. I'm just trying to answer the question of why the mom would be trying to make OP apologize. It could be favoritism and OP's sister is the golden child. But from what was in the post, it more feels like the mom is just desperate to have both her children living near her and either doesn't get or doesn't care that her actions are only going to push OP away.

[@martinrusev3502]

S1: NTA. Dude, if I was a woman, married to this guy, I'd sing him praises like a fucking gospel. I was a cook once, I know damn well how hard this job is. It's good that the wife actually understood that she fucked up big time. S2: "I asked my sister and she told me that she was shocked I ate anything with preservatives and "unnatural" and that I was "poisoning my body" so she took it upon herself to throw away EVERYTHING she deemed unhealthy." HUH?! So NTA. The sister is waaay out of line. And she refuses to pay OP back? Even less NTA. The parents are not doing any good by supporting OP's sister. I don't know why her mom expects OP to apologize when she are not in the wrong here. S3: "Nicknames like "dipstick, Stone cold embarrassement, assclown, imbecile, dweeb etc..." Those are not nicknames, ma'am. Those are insults. YTA. She allowed this to go for far too long. Instead of telling her husband (who is also an AH and a big bully) to stop with those insults, she actually punished her son. OP turned a blind eye to the abuse from her shitty husband towards her son, instead of doing something. I hope that she realises that if this continues, as soon as he moves out, the son will never speak to her. She should do something about it before it's too late. ETA: "My husband offered to take my son to church but my son refused." Oh, sure. This will help the situation.

[@fhuber7507]

1... NTA and wife owes OP lots of apologies and home cooked meals.

[@thechosenkingofninjas8153]

Story 1: The wife was just being plain mean and hurtful nta. Story 1 update: I’m glad the wife apologized for being so mean story 2: the hell that is not normal nta. Story 3: yta yta yta The husband is a piece of poo

[@carolroberts4614]

I could hardly believe that she called that abuse 'nicknames' Straight up abuse more like. That poor lad! I know he shouldn't have thrown out the bible, but something had to happen! I would go and stay with grandma if it was allowed!

[@thechosenkingofninjas8153]

@@carolroberts4614 absolutely i was just like those at not nicknames those are insults not friendly nicknames like buddy sport it’s just so mean to the kid yes he shouldn’t have thrown the Bible but still it’s the dad and mom in bad here and really the edits sound like lies to me but that’s just me

[@Russman67]

The wife threw the husband under the bus for brownie points with her friend. Honestly who knows if the friend is much of a catch anyway. OP is not the asshole for standing up for himself and making her cook a couple of meals.

[@SeattleMommy8338]

Story 1: perhaps Stacy should shut her mouth except to say thank you for the meal!? 🤷🏻‍♀️

[@Deedoof]

Story 3: I was constantly called "stupid", "ignorant", and "dumber than a box of rocks" as a kid. As an adult I still struggle with feelings of inferiority and worthlessness due to that. It's especially worse when your own family is the source of this, so you can tack on trust issues , too. Kids are sponges and will take that trauma with them to the grave, don't be the reason for someone else's therapy.

[@NewEnglandDad]

Never ever subject your children to step parents. Its selfish and abusive. She deserves everything coming her way when the kid realizes what has happened to him.

[@jodieg6318]

Story 2: People who are self-righteous about food and diets are one of my major peeves; it’s all well and good not to eat tons of processed and fast food but anyone that takes it to the point of throwing away perfectly good food because “it’s not natural” is a snob as well as an asshole. “Your poisoning your body!” Is not the cry of a concerned health conscious person, it’s the insipid whine of someone whose never been hungry.

[@hothotheat3000]

The wife is an ungrateful jerk. She’s got a guy who helps her without having to be told. He happily cooks for his children. And she has the audacity to put him down in public, and prioritize her stupid friend’s jokes over her husband? She better sort her priorities before another woman who appreciates him snatches him up.

[@marcianewman8151]

The last story: That husband would have not been my husband for very much longer. Those parents will be wondering why their son never visits or calls them after he runs away when he turns 18. Mom yta.

[@WobblesandBean]

OP 2: Tell your mother that if she's going to let your sister treat you like that, then guess what, she'll have lost BOTH her daughters because you will never contact her ever again. Edit: Heh...good on you. I really need to learn to watch the whole thing before commenting.

[@syn67501]

Story 3: my ex-husband ruled with an iron fist and we all lived in fear. After we got out we've all been in therapy to overcome the problems. Both of my children dealt with the name calling and still refuse to have anything to do with the ex. My son received the worst of it and even now will have strong reactions to any name calling. This is after being out of the situation for over 10 years. She needs to do support her son and put a stop to it. It's not teasing-it's bullying and just another form of abuse.

[@WobblesandBean]

OP 3: "I'm a spineless doormat who lets my conkwocket of a husband abuse my son, AITA?" Also, funny how this guy loves to bully a child to feel like he's the man of the house, despite the fact that he does nothing but sit around the house all day leeching off of OP, and calls his wifey-woo crying because that child was meanie-weanie to himbs and it's SOOO UNFAIIIIRRR. Oh yeah, real macho. 🙄

[@JayeEllis]

Story 2: Before I left my sibling's home after a short visit, I cleaned the bath room and bedroom I used, including laundry, and I included a gift card in the thank you card, just in case I used up anything inadvertently. Of course we shared food costs and cooking/dishes the whole visit.

[@kerribottriell-baxter7345]

People like the OP in the last story 100% tick me off and that's putting it mildly. The stupid woman is letting her kid be emotionally hassled by the moron that is her husband and it's like... I can see that boy walking right on out.

[@nvfury13]

Story 3: If I was a family member seeing this, it would be a call to CPS and a confrontation with AH Step Dad that might end in violence, and a confrontation with AH Mom that would end in her emotionally scarred at least. The only ones not a waste of oxygen in this story are the kid and Ex-MIL Grandma.

[@memyselfandi7782]

Story 2: I would've slapped OPS sister. No frigging JOKE. WHY SHOULD OP APOLOGIZE?!?!?!?!?!? SUE HER for the tossed items if you deem it necessary

[@somebody4952]

Op 3: I'm 100% on my son's side for this. You have a funny way of showing that, buddy

[@Mewse1203]

Story 3: YTA...and massive. The husband is starting all these "fights" and verbally abusing her son...and she not only let it happen, but actively punished him for reacting. Bad mom, bad stepdad, and she will be back 2 years wondering why her son went no contact. "I'm 100% on my son's side" Umm no. No you're not. "My husband offered to take him to church but my son refused" Yeah, no shit. I would go to church with him either. He's so fucking religious yet is perfectly fine with abusing her son. I'd want nothing to do with that religion. As far as her "I'm the breadwinner" excuses..fuck that. He's her son. She needs to tell her husband to stop or leave. Instead she acquiesces to his "teasing" Edit: I'm going to take issue with the "he is a bad Christian" rhetoric. Christian doctrine has a ton of different interpretation (45,000 denominations each with their own) and you may not like some of them, but they are just as valid as any other. That's sort of the problem. His religion is part of his belief and behavior system. People may not like it, but that is his version of it.

[@itsjustmaddisen]

You know that if you replaced OP and the husband with a mannequin and that would actually be an improvement shows how terrible OP *AND* her husband is. Shame on both of them, they’re both despicable and foul. I hope the grandparents get custody because that kid deserves so much better.

[@SH-qs7ee]

2 years? I doubt it would be that long. I'm kind of surprised that when Grandma left he didn't leave with her.

[@simonO712]

Regarding the edit, THANK YOU!

[@itsjustme7487]

Not teasing. Bullying!

[@ducktapejay1849]

Story 3. Ffs. They’re not nicknames. Why is OP saying that they’re nicknames? It’s blatant harassment and bullying. OP is either too oblivious to see that her husband is bullying her son or is aware and in some serious denial. Either way her son’s gonna split and probably never talk to her again.

[@lovelysakurapetalsyt]

It makes me wonder what happened with the husband, especially with him (if he's alive) not even knowing what's going on with the kid and his step-dad

[@BIGEAGLEDUDE]

With the last story I have to ask how long have she and the husband been married because this is going to come into a major major problem later on down the road because if you think about it if she's been married to him for a few years you have to wonder what else that he's been doing while she wasn't in the same room with him. Obviously the original poster in The last story is in the wrong here but this is a woman who I think knows her husband is one of those people that can be such an a hole that she would rather enable him and just stay married to him because she doesn't want to start over from scratch instead of just doing what's in the best interest of her son and just leaving her husband. Not to mention her husband it sounds like an emotionally mentally and psychologically abusive a hole to him. And to be honest the fact that the ex-mother-in-law is coming over there defending her grandson speaks volumes I wonder what happened to his father that's making the original poster question everything to begin with. If she truly wants her son to stay in her life post 18 she needs to do whatever she can to possible to make things right other than that she'll die alone

[@RoseGarden24]

It kind of seems like a lost cause for the mother - son relationship. If the son was writing this situation down from his point of view I would want him to try to live with his grandmother. You Learn the difference between nicknames and abusive names when you are a child.

[@Kulaas]

"Don't bite the hand that feeds." I love that she apologized and learned from her mistake. Oddly suits the second story, too.

[@SaphireSalvatore940]

Just got finished watching the other one, timing!

[@billijomaynard8924]

Story 3: If i were in OP's situation and he verbally abused one of my children like that, he would have been handed divorce papers long ago. OP YTA, dump that man child before he ends up doing serious emotional damage to your son.

[@andreavanhoof6047]

Story 3: I want an update on this story from the son and his grandmother! Do you think there will be an update on this!

[@TheLugiaSong]

That spice mix story really has traumatized you hasn't it LOL. I never understand the audacity some people have to just mess with/eat other people's food, it's bonkers! I feel guilty when I eat a slice of my close housemate's bread. I don't understand it, man.

[@Dr.RatioSnail]

Story 2: Why on earth did the sister waste so much food by throwing it out. She could have just said said hey when you finish some of this stuff I recommend this type food it has zero preservatives instead of throwing the food out

[@asmith8692]

Because some older sisters are blind to cause and effect. It took over 50 YEARS for my older sister to get it through her skull that throwing out other people's things is bad. It took me calling her a witch with a b instead of w for her to realize that she was massively in the wrong when she tossed 1/3 of my music collection as well as a vintage bookcase worth roughly 2000 dollars.

[@personneici2595]

Verbal abuse is never okay. That father needs to learn that lesson and the mother needs to protect her child. What the actual fuck?

[@restinwalken]

Story 3: YTA your husband's an abusive AH. Nicknames that are used to your son are literally just degrading insults. An even if they were bubby pal sport (as someone else said) If the person given said nickname/s doesn't like or want to be called those names. You stop. If you really want to call them by a nickname over their actual name ask for some suggestions. Nicknames can be kinda insulting if the person saying means it in good fun and the receiver (person being cal the name) also finds it to be ok and in good fun. One of my Nicknames is Leatherface knee. An I've had many a people be like your ok with that. Yes I am because I find it funny and I know it's used in good fun and love.

[@kerridwynntheacegoblin6465]

Last story had me gawping in real life. I can’t.

[@kevinmorrill8342]

Story 3 op will be back crying when son cuts contact when he turns 18

[@candiebarr6745]

Last one , that woman should never have become a "mother ". I hope the kid moves in with his grandmother or something.

[@olly2027]

Story two: the sister did you a favor. She should of asked you first.

[@tiffanymaeuy5869]

10:19 "Apologize in order to keep the peace." Unbelievable.

[@OZARKMOON1960]

#2 - sounds like sis has been in the California/'whole foods' culture for far too long. that and/or sis is the golden child. OP needs to just lay down the law any time anyone in the family every comes in her door; you are not allowed to throw away any food in this house or you will leave. shame one has to do that, but if mom and dad raised sister to think these actions are even remotely okay, something went very wrong with their parenting! let mom cry - it's all on her here.

[@opal5138]

Laughed out loud at the apparently Christian Step Dad calling the son swear names

[@HannaFardew]

Story 1: if all parties aren't laughing, then it is not a joke. OP NTA

[@browhattheactualfu-2659]

Why is it always the parents telling the wronged party to apologize??? I'm going to scream bro this always happens smh

[@sgtjarhead99]

1st story. I learned my lesson a long time ago whenever your SO disrespects you in front of her friends, you do NOT wait to talk about it later. I would make it point to not only set the record straight right there and then, but to also light her up 10x worst in front of her friends or family. I wouldn't give a shit how uncomfortable it makes everyone feels.

[@conckretangel]

Last story: of course the religious tomb is more important than the child's mental and emotional state, the adult is always in the right after all /s Seriously though, YTA and I hope she is ready to have her child out of her life completely in the next 2 years. The step dad is abusive and the mother is neglectful. I don't know about others, but to me ignoring abuse you know is going on to your child is abuse as well. I'm of the mindset of the bio parent is the mother/father and the one who loves you is the mom/dad, this woman doesn't even feel like she should fall under that camp, but an egg donor.

[@alphanerd2305]

Tome is the word you seek. On the other hand, I like tomb as well since it provides much more amusing mental imagery.

[@ruthbeamish8849]

A partner who cooks. A gem. And she mocked him. Silly, silly woman!!

[@katwitanruna]

I really like the idea of going to the parent’s house and throwing out everything processed.

[@stephjovi]

story 3: she didn`t even say why they were arguing, why her husband thinks that`s ok. All I hear is I`m the breadwinner so my husband has tons of time to abuse and embarrass my son.

[@Swnsasy]

Already listened to this one from Lost Genre BUT, I absolutely 100% have to come to show my support and give you a like!!