“I sound like a white woman with a pyramid scheme.” 🎤: Auguste White

Stream the full set on KZbin.
#CCStandUp #ComedyCentral

[@someblaqguy]

I feel like her jokes could be longer. She has great set ups and just let's them die off after a couple sentences lol. I wanted to hear more.

[@kenyafromcali]

Agreed!

[@tiyas5378]

I see you everywhere

[@someblaqguy]

@tiyas5378 oh, fr? 😅 I think we had a disagreement some time back??? You have good one, take it easy alright. ✌️

[@AtlasCompleXtheProd]

She's probably kind of a beginner. I do this in regular conversation lol, i feel like if i try to express myself fully there's more likelihood of becoming awkward so i cut myself short and it's overall better, at least until i get more experience being social lol

[@ecllipsedeloach65]

Have you seen her entire set? She's quick, set knock down... I like it. We don't need the details of the escapade.

[@olufadihaneefullah4211]

"You can not girl boss your way into his heart" She really said that!

[@anname7373]

Hilarious fr

[@collinkendall1275]

This is the realest. So many women take that route, fail, then wonder where the good men went 😂

[@bighthegreat]

¹

[@bitchtitz]

If Gabrielle Union and Candance Owens had a baby

[@JesusLovesEVERYTHING]

She gives more Candace vibes to me

[@dontbother.9293]

I literally was thinking the same thing 💀

[@ChiviA84]

That's extremely upsetting.... Candace is a gnat that won't go away.

[@rachel5399]

That starts off as a great compliment and quickly turned into a heavy insult lol.

[@reachfothesky]

Yes, yes, and yes👏🏾👏🏾

[@keishamariedouglas]

As someone who was in a pyramid scheme…goodness she nailed it! 😝😝😝

[@Hotobu]

Plannet Marketing?

[@thinkoholics1496]

Tell us more lol

[@AdaraAhava]

Right lol!!!

[@dionysus9876]

"You're the kinkiest girl I've ever been with!" I thought it was a setup for a joke about hair texture.🤣

[@laurenj6771]

Sameee

[@ajh.4131]

Me too 😂

[@neghiethervil5606]

Yeah. She has good set ups. But the follow thru. She’ll get better I’m sure.

[@spottedjellyfish5490]

​@@HemantKumar-id3jg When people think of being kinky, a lot of people think of bdsm and liking pain with pleasure. So she gave an example of her low pain tolerance, soaking a band-aid so it won't hurt coming off, to say that the guy couldn't have been talking about her.

[@Tom-kl5lg]

@@spottedjellyfish5490 thanks for explaining. That joke needs to be re-written. Doesn't really work.

[@benjaminrohrbacher9286]

You can't girl boss yourself into his heart is perhaps the best bar a comedian has ever dropped

[@Sulucnumoh420]

Uhhhhhhh

[@Sulucnumoh420]

It's true for sure......but funny? Idk man

[@JCPRuckus]

​@@Sulucnumoh420 - It's not the right punchline to that setup, because it doesn't sum up that story. She would have needed to do some material about how spectacularly it failed for that to be the conclusion. But as far as comedy being about telling people truths they don't want to hear in a way that they'll accept them. That was a strong one.

[@kirsty_iso]

It’s so fucking true

[@steggyweggy]

No

[@sunnyjanna855]

She is really funny!! Timing can be finetuned. Leave time for the people to laught ❤ you got it girl 😊

[@miriamhalpern3026]

She’s got the content, she just needs to slow down a bit and give the audience a second to process her jokes and laugh. Rushing through them doesn’t leave any time for us to ride the set-up into the moment just before the punchline, where we’re all curious or expectant. That moment I think is crucial in order for the punchline or twist to then hit with full affect. And I want those punchlines to hit with full force because her jokes were actually really good!

[@blackcrow0079]

(Nodding in Agreement) "That Part!!" You're sooo Right 👍

[@letitiatsunami3749]

And even though your point is totally valid, slowing down might not be a possibility. When a comedian is doing a show especially with other comedians, there are time limits to adhere to. Going over your time is seen as disrespectful and in some cases, they can be penalized for it. But overall, she's pretty new and she's good. She will definitely work out the bugs.

[@letitiatsunami3749]

@@tiarosaliedarling I have no idea what you're talking about. Are you in the right place or did you make a wrong turn in Albuquerque? 🥕🐰🥕🐰😂😂😂😂

[@brandonj7586]

@@letitiatsunami3749 even with a time limit of 10 or so minutes most comedians still slow down a little. It's natural to want to make as many jokes as you can in that time but slowing down really does make a huge difference. I notice that 10 minute sets often feel like 20 or 30 minutes when they give their audience a few seconds after a joke.

[@bee6684]

I get it totally but the rushed angst of it is adorable

[@yoyomabach4518]

So much potential here

[@riotpb10]

For what? A black comedian that makes white jokes or a female comedian that makes sex jokes? I think we have plenty of those already.

[@nnajiugochukwu3810]

she kinda looks like Gabrielle Union

[@canandwill1]

I was thinking when did she start telling jokes just from. the screen shot lol

[@cherposton8242]

Came here to say this. Wow! Uncanny.

[@cloudsurfer73]

I thought it was her at first, I was getting confused until I saw it was standup

[@ndo533]

I was just thinking she reminded me very strongly of someone and then saw your comment. 😂😂

[@r.a.h.hrealauthentichiphop147]

I was confused looking at the thumbnail like is she doing comedy

[@desecration171]

She’s not a comedian. She’s a philosopher and life coach.

[@BlindSwami_]

The people who've spent their lives studying philosophy are probably pretty pissed that the bar for people to consider you a philosopher is this low

[@SMoneyT]

​@@BlindSwami_ lol true

[@dogstick12]

She has no concept

[@Dok_Hashish]

Part time ,options I like her lmao 🤣

[@mcarter48]

She’s so pretty😊

[@lisahawkins2936]

Lmao she's hilarious

[@Tiaffo]

😅 I genuinely enjoyed this lol 👏👏👏👏👏

[@Islam-is-dumb]

I’m glad I’m not the only one that does that with a bandaid. I always joke with my boyfriend when I do it asking if the bandaid had gorilla glue on it lol. They can be tough.

[@kristalnoel9103]

Put oil on it instead.

[@lucytomm]

My mom is a white woman with a pyramid scheme 😂😂

[@chrisrussell8890]

Someone tell me who she is I would like to follow her and support her!?

[@leeopatra]

Her name is Auguste White

[@AdaraAhava]

​@@leeopatrathanks

[@evagreen1477]

Ha Hah Hah Hah Hah she said Girlboss your way into his heart! LOL that’s hilarious😂

[@yahchannanhowdavyah9660]

She should play lead in the CANDACE OWENS story😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@pianoninja5276]

She’s like a cross between Gabrielle Union and Candace Owens

[@MarieAmicalola]

With a little Kelly Rowland sprinkled in

[@bgos4727]

The candace part was unnecessary damn

[@pianoninja5276]

@@bgos4727 how is that bad? Candace is gorgeous 🤷🏽‍♂️

[@anthonywilliams3822]

And that youtuber bindi marc!

[@doyourownresearch7297]

zero laughs from the whole set

[@lamoskgr]

I love her fashion

[@butterbeanqueen8148]

I came here for this comment! I love her fashion sense.

[@jorgemartinez42069]

Good fashion is always a sign of the best comedians

[@idkwhathomestuckisijustlik3439]

Me too!

[@emilyetallman]

For real I’m suddenly wondering why I don’t have any light green trousers

[@GirlsInYogaPantsAreSimplyNaked]

​@@jorgemartinez42069She's wearing terrible fashion, soooooo ..

[@Oonagh72]

This chick is awesome!! My kind of humor.

[@jorgemartinez42069]

So milquetoast observations about social dynamics that you're supposed to applaud done by nervous urbanite millennials is your favorite form of comedy? Great! Comedy Central has you covered in spades these days!

[@jessicasmith6873]

Why do I instantly get a crush on anyone with a lisp?

[@gwynn2165]

Lol I was paying attention to how she said her S’s too, I say them like that and I’ve been trying to fix it for years.

[@druidic4353]

She's cute!

[@jsprowse]

"You cannot girl boss your way into his heart" is the perfect message women need right now.

[@andreyamatthew2035]

Not soaking off a bandaid 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@Peresphone]

I died @ the bandaid & pyramid scheme!!

[@mandadick7093]

I feel like anyone who loves geese enough to get one tattooed is not afraid of pain.

[@ThePeoplesUN]

Lol that’s the Sankofa bird, it means “go back (to the past) and get it (understand).”

[@kalesmart1]

Some of that was pretty fire to be honest, I want to use that girl boss line as advice for my female friends 😆

[@flubber1557]

"Cannot girl boss your way into his heart" she understands how it goes. Most men have their own types. Some are into girls that rely on them, others want a girl that is more independent. There are plenty of other factors to look at too. So many its too large a number to list them all. When you find that person you will know and go for it. Just dont push your way in when unwanted.

[@jessepinkman8847]

Tbh find it disrespectful. Girl boss and independence aren’t the same thing

[@flubber1557]

@@jessepinkman8847 hence why I said among other factors to look at. Nobody said they were exactly the same in the 1st place. A girl boss tends to just be a girl who can handle various situations with a good outcome to me. I can see why her being independent would cross over with that. Who am I to say though I am a man born and bred. I am just an observer in all this. I am sorry if you felt offended I never intended it that way.

[@dvgtx44]

She’s got such a cute face

[@Kerreber]

Soaking off a bandaid 😂😂

[@Aushirye]

the delivery sounds like a sermon hahaha

[@lucaskuczek]

So nervous, so squeezed tight. She'll get there.

[@louisalexander2647]

I like the end. You can not girl boss your way into his heart.... thanks for saying that lol

[@yamatanoorochi3149]

You sure as hell can girlboss your way into mine

[@ChaiLatte64]

I love her hair ❤️❤️ I don't really see a lot of women just letting their texture be. It really gives her such a look ✨️

[@Lulu-mj2fi]

Girl where you been the past few years

[@ChaiLatte64]

@Lulu 💀💀💀 I'm talking about not moisturizing it to the gods and bringing out every little curl. She is truly letting her hair be. I've been out here raising a baby so I don't get out much 🤪 sorry that you're naturally condescending. I'm sure people love being around you.

[@Lulu-mj2fi]

​@@ChaiLatte64 this just sounded like such a backhanded compliment. Your comment doesn't even make sense! Her hair is very moisturized and someone's curl pattern being defined has nothing to do with products but their curl type and pattern🙄 If anything, BOTH your comments sound condescending and uneducated. Natural hair like this is nothing knew so don't blame it on raising a baby. Are you white? Because I can't imagine an educated person would say such comments. P.s. her hair looks like it may be an older twist out so less defined

[@ChaiLatte64]

@Lulu OK miss triggered. First of all you don't know me , I do textured hair all the time. I am well traveled and educated and have many people of many colors in my immediate family. So honestly you look like a clown rn... I do know what I'm talking about honey. You're saying it's an old twist out , so yeah it would be dry. And second, I have seen hair look exactly like this fresh out the shower with no products. Thats what her hair looks like to me and its not condescending or backhanded if i think its beautiful completely naturally💀If you want to use colorism to put me down , that's on you , I would never do that to anyone else. In fact my op was a compliment and bringing her up. You sound hurt so I'll pray for you babe 🙏

[@Lulu-mj2fi]

@@ChaiLatte64 LOL girl I'm not triggered, I'm laughing at the nonsense. Her hair could have tons of product and still look like this. The point is you can give a compliment without sounding condescending or putting other textures down or like you are trying to say her hair looks dry. Just say I love your hair style and move on. Have a great day, maybe take a walk after that long winded angry comment

[@rckli]

Yoooo this is great short material She deserves a full half hour routine if it’s all this good

[@AdamS235]

I love her delivery

[@aprilbrown7227]

😂😂😂😂😂 She is SOOOO PRETTY ABD I LOVEEE HER STYLE AND SMILE 🥰🥰🤗

[@thenewguy3085]

"you can girlboss your way into his heart" that should've got a bigger laugh

[@woodynightshade2285]

She wouldn't have to ask me twice. What a beautiful lady!

[@SepiaGoddessofsoul]

Love her delivery!!!

[@Lppt87]

I’m not vanilla, I’m wet bandaid. 😂😂😂😂😂

[@nixx7912]

This could’ve definitely been a 3-5 minute long joke. The bars were all there.

[@Kaddywompous]

What a wildly appealing woman.

[@zesst431]

"You cannot Girlboss your way into his heart"

[@gary5136]

When you watch these you get to see how funny and skilled comedian’s like Seinfeld. Chris Rock. Robin Williams really were

[@giordanodsouza9563]

You're hilarious! You can girl boss your way into my heart anytime XD

[@jessepinkman8847]

Right dude. The fact your lying, but making it seem that way just fucks men even more. Like please get off the internet mate.

[@pastorofmuppets22]

Nothing wrong with being articulate. It's refreshing.

[@MsIngriDiva]

White jokes and no one is getting offended, tks! Please, just normalize having fun people!

[@beaugantz4888]

I’m excited to see her act develop

[@babyvia6712]

Her nose is so fucking cute

[@jessmusick4018]

I liked her ending. You can't girl boss your way into his heart. Facts

[@jessmusick4018]

@Ginger Cat ehh. Thats a sexual act that doesn't fill a household. That's for pay and usually by a married man cheating or something. We talking relationships hun. Not kinks. Men don't see value in a female dominatrix past the act. Sorry

[@A_Salted_Fishe]

She's got potential!

[@psychoturtle509]

Noo 😭 you’re spot on and hilarious! Keep it up

[@CristinaAcosta]

Love your outfit.

[@atlsongbyrd6084]

Yes she does sound like that 😂😂😂

[@hardryv3719]

So adorable... very funny too.

[@free2express08]

Bruh...! What? LOL

[@trenvert123]

0:00 this is really good

[@schoo9256]

Absolutely one to watch.

[@heathermetz3974]

“There are also part-time options!”

[@maxscoggins7512]

She's perfect

[@lesterguess1915]

You look very nice, don't change

[@kafeleamberslie4677]

shed dropped a gem at the end

[@tearonworld455]

Well I cant get that time back

[@christopherdesanges7863]

Why did you guys give away her punch line in the title? That was the best part of the clip but I already saw it coming and it didn't hit the way it could have. Still funny tho.

[@emolash]

She should hire a comedy writer

[@user-tk7xi9ji7v]

Yeah, seems likable, not fake, she's cute ..... But just missing the one thing for comedy.

[@k9spot1]

her outfit is low key incredible

[@nepk]

Thank you for the recs! I really want to check out Pedro Paramo✨️

[@JediNiyte]

HA HA! She's good!

[@Only1Skrybe]

She already girl bossed her way into my heart.

[@jessepinkman8847]

Dude can you please get off the internet. Men praising women and chivalry isn’t gonna work. Just making men look like pussies in the process.

[@JohnDoe-vc5qb]

I wanna hear the full pitch tbh

[@moonxshakti]

You could just say "like a person in a pyramid scheme".

[@Labyrinth1010]

Racist jokes are funnier! Apparently.

[@BiLdoEMcLown]

I sound like I'm always doing my best Louis Black impression, but I'm seldom THAT angry... I'm seldom angry at all, I just SOUND pissed.

[@mikehunntt5338]

It would have been a perfect sales pitch to me!

[@consuellamccoy5217]

Yes you can't GIRL BOSS YOUR WAY TO HIS HEART😅🤣🤣😂 or can YOU🤔🧐🧐🤔🤔 Are We Sure🤣😂🤩🥰

[@preparedsetapart9475]

I'm getting Gabrielle Union vibes

[@SweetBrownGirl]

At first I thought this was Gabriel Union.

[@mrsoshadabaadman]

Elizabeth Holmes in this 🤣

[@roxiejojo3758]

Oh my… thought that was Gabrielle . Was like when she started doing stand up comedy 😂

[@TCt83067695]

Love her hair

[@brandondavidson4085]

I mean, most men like an assertive woman. Tell us what you want and we're on board

[@tammybenaytv4631]

Most weak men like assertive women. It gives them a pass. The don’t have to step in to their masculinity. They can just be passive and do what the assertive woman wants.

[@brandondavidson4085]

@@tammybenaytv4631 Cool, someone who doesn't understand that "masculinity" depends on the culture you're in. The Aka tribe in Congo has an entire culture of stay at home dads and in Finland, mothers work more outside the home than fathers

[@Lulu-mj2fi]

​​@@tammybenaytv4631 gross take. If that's not for you fine, but it works for many happy couples finding who loves them for them. Also, it's very important for women to show SOME assertiveness SOMETIMES for MANY MANY different reasons and for men to respect and appreciate that!!

[@tammybenaytv4631]

@@Lulu-mj2fi There is a way to speak truthfully with intention that doesn’t require you to be assertive which means forceful! I stand by what I said. Words have power. There are nuances that the use of assertive here apply to men who like to be dominated (forcefully). Now if that is a man’s kink, then I am not judging. 🤷🏽‍♀️

[@Lulu-mj2fi]

@@tammybenaytv4631 it's none of your business what they mean and why. There are very dominate women and very gentle men, has nothing to do with weakness on the man's part or too manly on the womans especially if they are happy together

[@DanielleBaylor]

I completely relate 😂.

[@kiddayna]

Love her! I understood everything the first go around. There may be slow processing viewers and audience members and that's okay! They're allowed to enjoy the show a few minutes later , Internet Explorer brainass.

[@bigblk45]

Tell me you only date zaddy without telling me you only date zaddy

[@Queen.Coborah]

She looks like Gabrielle Union

[@eveningstar8581]

She genuinely sounds like a white woman tho! If I didn't see her, I'd think she was white

[@luwamalem9537]

Lool, right?! 🤷🏽‍♀️😂

[@Noise_floorxx]

Please stop. Not all black women sound "ghetto" And I hate that when we don't, we sound "white." Not all white women are well spoken or sound educated. She just sounds like she's read some books and knows proper grammar. How white!

[@Equilyzr]

@@Noise_floorxx last two sentences were right. educated = yt. uneducated…. well, you know. dont u agree?

[@edavis8560]

Dresses like one too

[@eenchantress5113]

Um…

[@riotpb10]

Before she even started talking I was already thinking "Hmm a black female comedian. I wonder if she will make any racist white jokes or sex jokes?" That was way too predictable.

[@urgonusla1450]

Good Stuff :)

[@minakalajackson320]

She gives me Sarah Paulsons vibe

[@bocca6c167]

some Gabrielle Union for me (young age)

[@RJNumber45]

If gabrielle union and candace owens had a baby....

[@Mona_Lisa8181]

I was looking for this lol she’s really cute though

[@RJNumber45]

@@Mona_Lisa8181 yes, she is...no doubt

[@quinndawsonosgood5261]

oil and water don't mix

[@RJNumber45]

@@quinndawsonosgood5261 haha..good one

[@ntandosekay]

👌🏾👌🏾👌🏾👌🏾😂😂😂😂😂

[@shadowsaiyan]

Holy hell, somebody put that last line on a t-shirt... That is literally what this generation is trying to do lol

[@jessepinkman8847]

Yes

[@elijahbutterfield4869]

In fact, I would recommend NOT girl bossing your way into his heart. An easier way would be to make him a sandwhich every once and a while, (we literally remember every sandwhich you girls make for us, yes it's an act of love) And maybe play some video games with him, chill In the grass in the park, stay up late till it's dark enough to do some star gazing Just be genuinely interested in him and his interests, and spend some quality time with him.

[@nochso6835]

Sometimes I think comediennes get into comedy, not to be funny, but to self-talk themselves for hours, as a substitute for real therapy. And to that end, they are truly successful. Listened to her whole thing, I couldn't even break into a smile. WTF?! We need FUNNY

[@faithbaker4785]

Utterly gorgeous

[@TorQueMoD]

LOL! Very funny :)