If Everyone Doesn’t Like You They Are The Problem | unpopular opinion |

If everyone hates you they are the problem not you. Leave inherited beef in 2023.

[@zlatkajupe]

This is me with a lot of my neighbors. They sit around outside all day drinking/smoking and gossip too busy to raise their kids properly. And if you don’t mess with them they hate on you.

[@txspacemom765]

Good grief..are we in the same neighborhood? I just do my thing and I'm the bad neighbor. I am not even here 90% of my working day (I go to school too.) and on the weekends, I tend to my gardens (Love roses!!) and go hiking with my rescue dog and drink coffee.

[@iclickedbecauseiamtiredofs4630]

Hyena mentality and behavior. There's a reason you have PRIDE 🦁

[@TK_Danes]

A whole family of white people I lived with this did all day, everyday. I would get ready for work, and they already got a blunt ready. I don't smoke before work. But. Man... I'm glad I was booted out there and left

[@traceylennon1204]

Wow this is relatible AF!!!

[@somebodycomelistentothispo7217]

I’m sure it’s the same with my neighbors I’m always at work

[@peachesandpoets]

Part of self love is allowing people to be wrong about you

[@dangdeionn]

This is an underrated comment

[@natatattful]

@@dangdeionnit really is

[@azureavocado5195]

This is why there’s nothing wrong with women who don’t have friends. We all know how toxic this society is. Maybe she isn’t the problem…😮

[@joyjoy-lf2py]

Thank you ❤

[@levtieart3409]

If all people around u are victim blaming pro pdfiles U being alone and bullied Isnt the problem...... The stuff i heard my entire life I thought im crazy cuz im not like them but yea... Or being yelled at and group shamed cuz u hugged a 12 yo girl who was abused Instead joining adults to shame her to drop charges etc.....

[@FutureBillionaire1111]

I swear I'm not😂😂😂

[@traceylennon1204]

Thank you for your comment, very needed!! ❤

[@lovelystarchild]

Thank you for this comment. I am a woman who has very few friends because of how toxic people can be. I always get shamed for not wanting to hang out with people.

[@AK-go7sh]

The truth is, this world is quite toxic. And being a kind genuine person, doesn't necessarily make people appreciate you. As someone who for years have supported and been there for family and "friends", I don't even have anyone around me who seem to like me. While some of the most problematic people have many friends and people who really like them. Just interesting.

[@dw9524]

Yes I notice that too. Mean bad people have loads of friends. It's usually the kind people who have no real friends sadly.

[@iclickedbecauseiamtiredofs4630]

So je/sus isn't real because it wouldn't allow this. That Joseph story totally negates the holy spirit

[@misslashaybay]

It's because they use these "friends" as a cover for their wickedness like a secretly gay man uses a "wife" as a beard to hide his true ways. These people are deeply insecure or wicked or both. But they're usually hiding something. People who aren't afraid to stand alone usually have nothing to hide because they aren't scared of being different. And being different usually draws attention, something someone hiding something doesn't want...

[@dw9524]

@@tiahnarodriguez3809 yes I've noticed that too. A girl at my college was dating a guy. He used her for sex and then broke up with her, her friend goes and sleeps with him the very next week. Nobody seemed to care and they acted like it was normal. That's when I realised these groups of friends don't really like each other half the time.

[@heneverforesakesme4038]

I'm 53 years old and I went through this my entire life, and I want to tell you why this is: People DO NOT like a mirror placed in their face because it exposes their shame. So, YOU are the mirror: a person who is happy most of the time, cares for others, has a giving heart, supportive, an edifier, etc...when someone is a toxic individual and they have done dirt, they cannot be in the presence of someone who does not subscribe to that kind of lifestyle and they don't hang around for very long, it is going to make them feel uncomfortable and expose their sins and demons, it's the inner guilt thing. Let me give you a comparison the best I can: If someone was a scientist in quantum physics and they based their life on that principal, you wouldn't be around them too long because you wouldn't understand them, and you'd feel educationally insecure around them, even if they were not trying to make you feel that way. Birds of a feather and all that. So, toxic people are going to feel more comfortable around other toxic people because they negate each other out. So, they can't point the finger at each other or feel insecure around each other because they all got game, they all riding dirty. Does that make sense? The part about people like us is that we are always willing and able to treat someone that is toxic with a cure instead of reinforcing people like each other, it's just in our nature. So, the point is: leave toxic people where they are and find someone like yourself, in any kind of relationship.

[@sparkling_elegance]

This is so true!! People love to bulldoze through your boundaries, use, and manipulate you, but when you decide that you’re done being a doormat, and you are now holding firm with your boundaries and putting yourself first, all of a sudden, you’re the problem! Yeah, they can stay mad all the way to the grave!

[@AnxietyHamstar]

Before you diagnose yourself as the problem make sure you aren't surrounded by jerks. Thank you for coming to my TedTalk

[@ursaamajorr]

There have been many instances where ppl I've never met or interacted with "didn't like me" based off lies and rumors. Ppl are followers, dumb and too eager to bully others they can't put into a box.

[@iclickedbecauseiamtiredofs4630]

And that's why I take major issue with Christianity. It literally says in three or more people you'll find me. I'm starting to think skeezus is 👹 because it seems g ang like & male centric and I'm over it

[@mr.nobody6795]

Yeah same here. And because of this, I always tried to form my own opinion of the "common enemy". One of my best friends of 9 years is someone I was told to hate, but when I went out of my way to get a feel for him, I realized that's he's actually really awesome and had just been scapegoated.

[@ursaamajorr]

@@mr.nobody6795 that's awesome, I do the same. What most ppl don't realize is partaking in bullying/othering and ostracizing someone who has not harmed you is a reflection of your own character (or lack their of). It's speaks nothing of the person that's being bullied. Some of the most horrific ppl are surrounded and supported by "friends".

[@cosmosadorabilis7677]

These are the worst people! I even had people I knew, loved and never had the shadow of an issue with, blocking me on social media over something someone had said about me. Never asked me a single question about the rumors, just went ahead and discarded me, and I still am not sure why, as they weren't even close to the person lying about me. So disheartening.

[@studiosandi]

When I finally stopped being people's doormat part of my growth was getting rid of the people who used me as a door mat. I don't really care if they like me or not.

[@beab8738]

For me it was difficult to shift in my work. I had already built the expectation that I would do the work outside my job description so when I started saying no and asking more benefits I would labelled rebellious, selfish and not a team player. That's why I am now taking a much higher pay and they realising the amount of work I did during the handover.

[@zinabstar]

I’ve always said to myself “if everyone likes me, I’m the problem. If everyone dislikes me, they’re the problem” never dim your light and always be your true self!

[@EmpressRieniaTV]

I’ve learned to just not give af , it’s divine protection.

[@rachelesmith3342]

I think I’m more skeptical nowadays of people who always get along with everyone because it tells me that they don’t have strong values, are strongly influenced by everyone else, or most likely people please.

[@iclickedbecauseiamtiredofs4630]

They are 👹 & antagonize others. They need to go

[@MrKingkz]

Or they could have found a way to not ruffle peoples feathers and get out before things get bad not everyone is people pleasing

[@kayabe856]

Yep. And they provably can’t be trusted

[@oliviabell9691]

I've been bullied my entire life, no matter where I go. I haven't worked in years, because of this. And friends have treated me the same way. And romantic partners. And of course, family. Whenever I've gotten tired of it, and stood up for myself, I've been painted as bad. It makes me feel hopeless.

[@cushmanarmitige2369]

Same, you can do everything you can and still be hated, keep your head up though, there are good people out there, they're just much rarer than most people think.

[@Christianmorgan12]

If Ur a Christian u can pray about it Nd God ll tell u why Nd help u

[@lakaperse6995]

There are countries who seems to respect quiet people like Sweden .

[@Key-Key444]

Don’t give up. It sounds like you’re getting good at setting boundaries.

[@xposa5137]

I am sorry, this is such a victim mentality. And your perception could be distorted because of that. Try to look at life that it´s something you have a control over. You don´t have a control over other people and external situations, you have only control over yourself. If you think about it, it can be very freeing. It gives you power. Because the attitude you described keeps you powerless- but you don´t have to live powerless life! Good luck

[@Kimberly-sy1uh]

I tend to do great with people one on one...but for some reason when large groups are involved I'm often singled out. After many years I can only conclude that it is because I'm a bit guarded and eccentric. How my guardedness causes people to dislike me...I don't understand.

[@Priscilla_Boye]

Me too.😊

[@CalebTheOwlBoy]

They are the problem. Not you

[@bear3279]

Same !! It's so frustrating

[@iclickedbecauseiamtiredofs4630]

No one's feels an obligation to make you feel welcome. When you understand this you see how it becomes literally us vs them in group settings. Try to join in all groups if you can or use clothing as conversation starter to break the ice. People are really vgly inside and love to gloat on dysfunction. Call them out and say I know what you're doing if it keeps being a recurring theme. It literally IS 👹 and why I have a problem with g-d and this skeezus guy. Seems its done nothing good for this earth

[@pinkstarlightchaos3076]

Me too, that is why I avoid group settings especially odd numbers. Like groups of 3 if I go somewhere. Somehow I'm always left out.

[@Jae-by3hf]

As a black autistic woman, this has been happening my entire life. Now that I don’t people please and stand up for myself, I’m the bad person! & I don’t care because people just follow fashion like lemmings! No brain cells or common sense,I don’t want to be around people who don’t think or people who have no empathy for people who don’t fit into a traditional box! I also feel like people who are liked by everyone are fake and have no morals. You are trying to tell me that you can get along with an abuser (just as an example)? No thank you!

[@zoejaiattoh1243]

I lost 90% of friends because I decided to love myself more and not let ppl use me anymore.. and stop 🛑 being a ppl pleaser, and started setting boundaries ( clear and hard ) . This is facts .. ppl still try me especially men .. cuz I used to smile and walk away .. now I don’t put up with ish “ wow you changed” no.. I’m not the empath and ppl pleaser you knew

[@cushmanarmitige2369]

You're right about the people pleasing but don't give up your empathy, don't let them take that from you. That's what they want a lot of the time, for you to not care like them.

[@AnxietyHamstar]

I lost my friends and my family. Its a lonely life being authentic. I won't lie but I wanted to leave this world early being hurt by those who were supposed to love me.

[@user-wl3lv8lx2u]

You’re still an Empath, it’s your superpower and don’t change that about you for anyone❤️your empathy is just exclusively reserved for you at the moment and yeah they don’t like that 🤗🫠 Good for you!!!

[@KayleneRomero-oz7yz]

​@@cushmanarmitige2369❤thank You for this reminder. This is good advice which I intuitively know to be true, it's like they keep testinbyonin order to prove something, "See, she's not better than me" type of thing. Miserable people DO love company!

[@KayleneRomero-oz7yz]

​@@AnxietyHamstarSame, You're not alone. I was in this same mental and emotional space heavy just last year. But just keep putting one foot in front of the other, rest and recharge when you need to, weed out and distance from the toxic ones and continue to give yourself small daily patches of joy. Happiness feels unachievable, but joy is accessible through small acts of kindness youngive to yourself. Hope this help.❤

[@FutureBillionaire1111]

I'm one of the sweetest people on the planet but I stay to myself. So naturally.....I'm the problem 😂😂😂 How dare I mind my business and stay in my lane.

[@caleah2538]

i used to struggle with this so much because i kept believing i was the problem but then i realized people just took advantage of me when i was a 'nice doormat' like only called me when they wanted something, only invited me when an event was mentioned in front of me by accident, always knew i would drop to help them if they needed it and by all means i am happy to still be called for help by people who dont treat me like that but the people who walked over me now think im rude or a bitch simply because i take into account how they treated me and act accordingly and they don't like that they can't receive my friendship/family perks with less than no effort like before

[@min_tea_]

People who say they are just “honest” and that’s the problem are often just as asshole.

[@Liz-wz8dh]

THIS.

[@Key-Key444]

“We wrestle not against flesh and blood but against the spiritual forces of this present darkness”

[@truthhurts...6574]

Thank you for addressing this. People who did this don't like you and will do everything in their power to distort how others view you too. They play scenarios in their mind of things you didn't do or say because of their own securities. I've been through that before. When someone tells me to avoid someone or not talk to them, I make it a point to make my own observations based off of my interactions with them. They will try to rally everybody around them to go against you.

[@dw9524]

No its so trueeee. Half the time they're just insecure, intimidated or jealous. I had a presentation to do once and after wards a girl came to me and said "well done girl". Soemthing like that. I said "thanks, I was so nervous for it" thinking she was going to empathise that somebody would be nervous at public speaking. Boy was I wrong. She replayed what happened to her friends and then called me shallow and said "why do the pitch then," most people lack empathy and that's not our fault.

[@iclickedbecauseiamtiredofs4630]

So is the 'where you find three or more you'll find me' skeezus rhetoric not true than? Cause this g ang mentality from Christianity has got to go!!!

[@iclickedbecauseiamtiredofs4630]

​@dw9524 nope it IS their fault 🤷

[@traceylennon1204]

@truthhurts That has happened to me where I work! I've been there 21 years, so obviously it hasn't fazed me...🤷🏾‍♀️💅🏿

[@cookiegirl891]

@@iclickedbecauseiamtiredofs4630 how?

[@somebodycomelistentothispo7217]

Nobody likes me and I know I’m not the problem. I’m wiser than most and set apart and I’m okay either way that. Been a loner since birth 🤷🏾‍♀️

[@MackerelCat]

It can work both ways. Yeah I think there is some truth in people being toxic and argumentative and blaming everyone for their bad attitude. At the same time the “burn the witch” mentality is absolutely real - you can be the odd one out in a community because you don’t conform. Luckily today we have options to move onward and upward.

[@levelupgoddess9289]

I’ve been hearing that my entire life. Ppl love to gaslight u into believing ur crazy. Ppl love when others conform to “society’s norm”. You can’t be too quiet, calm, mind ur own business etc without having haters. The older I get is the more I dislike ppl. I’m not conforming to what I’m not. I’m at a point where I don’t trust ppl nor keep “friends”. Ppl love to use ppl for their own benefit. I’m a quiet person and have been my entire life. Ppl HATE HATE HATE that. They hate when I mind ur own business and they HATE when u don’t gossip and tell them your business.

[@lovelylittlegirl3332]

A great example of this is the movie ‘Melina’. Everybody hated her but she was far from being the problem.

[@Goddess462]

It only takes one person to start a bad reputation about someone. This plants a seed in everyones mind to perceive the targeted person in a negative way. They do this because they may feel threatened by how good your reputation is and they want to ruin it. This has happened to me no matter how shy and kind my words are to everyone... people found a way to tell ppl negative things. like "she thinks shes better than everyone else" Even when i am the most humble person. This increased my anxiety and really does make you want to isolate from everyone. Seeing as to how everyone can take what one person said about you and believe it to be facts. SMH ppl are sheep. I also have no friends and I am not the problem. The world doesn't find good people entertainig, but they find gossip and slander very entertainig...I want no parts.

[@aarchie5268]

Facts!

[@vpscreations5401]

When you choose not to be a follower or a people pleaser, and resistant to manipulation, bullying and control, you will be well hated, even if you mind your own business.

[@SimplyHealthyWomb]

It took me a while to learn this lesson. I am not the problem. “They” don’t need to like me. I was always in the outskirts cause I don’t like following a pack. Stand tall in 2024, center yourself, live for you, don’t chase anything, keep your peace.

[@Mongezi_Goxo]

This is so true! I used to believe this nonsense until I started mirroring behaviors, setting boundaries and stopped people pleasing, I noticed everybody turning against me and making me the problem! That is the ultimate gaslighting tactic!

[@cushmanarmitige2369]

I needed to hear this. I did nothing but got hated by people who did terrible things, the kind of things that even in prison makes you the worst. They made me the enemy of my friends cos they were cared for by me without wanting something back. Some people just want to take and destroy. And ye it can happen at any age, school mentality never ends for some. Choose friends wisely.

[@traceylennon1204]

EXACTLY You can't just go around slapping the word friend on everybody!

[@ebifuon6776]

I pretty sure I'm cursed in this regard. Transferred mid school year back in first grade. I was popular at my old school however my friends turned on me when they found out I was moving. Cue me trying to make friends at the new school as within three days I somehow ended up on the wrong side of the popular girls and ended up that kid no one talked to. This followed all through high school. When i was entered the work place it just got worse. I got stuck with some of the most toxic coworkers on the planet. Still tried my best to make friends and keep the peace only to be used and abused. It took me over 30 years to realize that some people arent worth the effort you put in. I now have a small group of people I'm close to but they are people I deemed worthy to be my friends

[@peachesandpoets]

In order to get out of victim mindset it's important for us to take accountability. "I allowed toxic people in my life for 30 years because I had issues to heal, perhaps people pleasing, perhaps abandonment issues, etc" is harder to say but easier to fix. We might not have to teach people how to treat us, but we do allow people to mistreat us.

[@CalebTheOwlBoy]

​@@peachesandpoetso you shut up and stop victim blaming. The environment and the people were all bad. There is nothing wrong with OP.

[@iclickedbecauseiamtiredofs4630]

​​@@CalebTheOwlBoy 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏?.?

[@ebifuon6776]

@@peachesandpoets true I finally burned my field of f#cks and salted the earth so none grow back. Mostly just allowed toxic people in cause no matter my protests people always pulled the "give them a chance" a chance for what i say. Nah I'd rather be alone now then have someone who actually trips over their own feet to do me harm or cut me down for having dreams which is what i am focusing on now. I want to make comics and art and that's were my energy goes to

[@ebifuon6776]

@@tiahnarodriguez3809 yeah I read a book on Energy vampires and people who suck the joy out of others it's a good book. Basically was told by family to tolerate these types as that's life but after the bullying turned physical my mom transferred me to another school out of state and it was like taking a breath of fresh air after not being able to breathe for a long time. So when when things get bad and standing up for myself does nothing (work, relationships, etc) I plan my exit strategy and if I can find a way to return all the pain and suffering right back at them. I unleash hell, biblical hell. Like one job where I was constantly being forced to do the majority of the work while being harrassed by both coworkers (for going to the gm after they repeatedly left their work for me to do alone) and a manager (who just hated everyone but took pleasure in causing me physical pain ((she left me with burn marks on my arms))) when I quit I didnt put in my two weeks I sat on those days and did as little work as I could get away with and because I was the trainer (but not getting trainer pay) I stole back all my training materials and removed all the quick briefs that help food and safety inspections (all material I made during my lunch periods to help me do my job) and burned them. And because I was friends with the food inspector he gave me a card to call once he found out I was quitting cause he noticed none of my other coworkers were ever around (including manager) as I was the only one that knew the answers. So I quit got a better job at a great restaurant and waited for a day I knew theyd be completely f'ed and called in a complaint which had him showing up on a day they were not prepared for. He walked in to one person mixing food items with their bare hands, one person cooking chicken in a fish fryer, raw chicken being placed in the ovens on top of freshly cooked chicken they were also packaging at the same time, food that had been left in the heating trays past five hours and one guy was draining the main fryer directly into the floor drain. They shut down the deli for 4 1/2 months and everyone got fired (was told by a friend who worked in a nearby department man I wish he had recorded it I would have loved to see vicky being dragged out she was the worst) I would have paid to see vicky get fired on the spot

[@kayshawnsimmons5585]

I needed to hear this. It's my life everyday

[@lovelystarchild]

This video describes my entire existence, PERFECTLY. I am always the outcast, the odd woman out & I literally stay to myself & mind my business, yet I still get attacked, hated & bullied. Anytime I set boundaries, say "no", or stand up for myself, I get made out to be the "problem" or the one with the "mental issues" or an "a$$hole". I always get demonized for speaking up for myself. People provoke me but then try to police how I react. Smh.....l have been retaliated against for fighting back. People have really made me hate them. I stay to myself & I dont care to hang out with anyone. My life is easier that way. I feel safer that way.

[@Goddess_Infinity]

Me !!!

[@Key-Key444]

They hated Jesus and he came to Help. Do not dim your light ❤

[@RareJewel777]

Same

[@txspacemom765]

I've have gotten really good at being by myself and living my life my way and just ignoring people and their made up drama. If they put half the energy into doing something they loved, they would find their lives infinitely more happy and peaceful but they choose made up drama. I read books and write on my lunch break at work, usually outside and definitely away from people. I am labeled rude. HAHAHAHA! OK! I've applied for 2 positions and moved up in the last 4 years while they stay in their mediocre jobs with their saltiness and anger. Must be my fault! I raised my son and he was not a go outside and play kinda kid. He prefers libraries, reading, writing, swimming and going to visit places. I had a "neighbor" ask me once why he doesn't play outside like the rest of the kids. I looked at him and said do not put my son's name and good grace in your mouth or thoughts ever again. They loved making up stories that I was a bad parent or I was abusing him. Child went onto a Ivy League college and is out there living his best life, probably with everyone talking drama around him. Those dusties are still in the same neighborhood, accomplishing nothing but getting the police and CPS called on them.

[@gee_emm]

Lol. I used to use my lunch break as time to journal (Julia Cameron, morning pages) and this made my colleagues think I was a stuck up bitch. I was either working on myself or doing prep for my evening class and they were salty because I didn’t want to gossip about who was shagging who and talk at length about what I had for dinner last night and what I was planning for dinner that evening. I got curious at some point and left a tape recorder going while I was out. They were all slating me and one morbidly obese girl lead the pack calling me anorexic and bulimic (despite the fact that I ate lunch at my desk every day before popping out to a cafe, trying to be healthy and limit expenses) and she even speculated on how I would be a terrible lover because I was an uptight stick. I was 27 and had my own home. Incidentally I have always been naturally slim and was getting over an abusive ex. She was 35, single and lived with her parents. She got out of breath from just walking to the printer. It was all malicious projection. Some people are just low vibration. Sorry, not sorry!

[@txspacemom765]

That is just awful but glad you rose above it. My last job in healthcare, it was a very competitive office, as in who was the smallest size, who was the faster runner, athlete, etc. Now, I enjoy hiking, kayaking and I do some competitions but I didn't speak about them. They thought all athletes were size zeros and runners. I caught them talking about my weight one day and how unhealthy I was. Not that they ever ate with me or even asked or knew my workouts or anything. Well, fast forward, I signed up for one of those tough mudders and lo and behold, so did 6 women I worked with.I trained for the 8 weeks prior, really focusing on the skills needed. I didn't say a word to them but guess who came in ahead of all six of them? I hung my medal on my office wall, with a sign that said some people talk about you while you are actually doing the work, and I would catch them looking at it. They never said a word. @@gee_emm

[@gee_emm]

@@txspacemom765 Sweet! What a classy ending! Isn’t it crazy how people stay judging each-others bodies, weight and health? As if it is their very own business?!??

[@Ruu555]

Story of my life but I’ve stopped trying to please people or make friends. Now I am somehow the villain for being myself, saying no, giving myself more love than I give away etc. 😅

[@carmen6693]

I go thru this every day at my job. I work in a medical office where Im the only person in the entire office who looks like me. Every day I listen to all the other nurses (who are in a clique) talk about our ethnic patients hairstyles, clothes, the way they talk. February (black history month) was a whole different level of bs. Listening to them tell several racial jokes etc. Reported them to HR (nothing happened) because two of those ppl in the clique are management. But when Im invited to after work functions to hang out with these ppl and I ALWAYS decline, it always gets back to me (somehow) that I separate myself from everyone else. Why the hell would you even think I would want to hang out with you. And my response is always the same. Im getting paid to be here and unfortunately you ppl come with that territory. But theres no way on Gods green earth I would EVER spend time with assholes for free.

[@Liz-wz8dh]

This is just a problem in the medical field. It's similar in education. Certain group identities develop and are hard to work in if the management sucks.

[@LittleMsLibra8]

This is valid in certain contexts.. in cases of toxic environments where abuse and manipulation are present it’s certainly the case. I can’t even lie 🤷🏽‍♀️.

[@Liz-wz8dh]

It's so true. Sometimes even trying to stay away from these toxic people invites problems. It's just unavoidable sometimes because so many people were raised poorly and don't know how to cultivate positive relationships.

[@moonlightstargem1006]

This helps me feel very validated right now thank you!! I am not the problem if several people are bullying or abusing me

[@mitchelllekubu6116]

It's like when you new at a job and get invited for lunch with some ladies and then they talk about the one who didn't come and because you're a grown adult tomorrow you speak to her or have lunch with her, they assume you were telling her the crap they were saying about her or whatever, and then when they see you they pull you to the side and call you a traitor, and in my mind I'm like lady I don't know you from a bar of soap and it's too early to be picking sides, miss me with that, catty behaviour

[@kikipearce]

I hear you on this!! For whatever reason, I'm always the first person to recognize a toxic being while others think I'm just hating... And then that person turns out to be the toxic being I said they were. Believe and love who you are and don't worry about appeasing others!

[@samco63]

Saaame! I just stopped warning people and let them figure it out themselves - and they usually do. But it’s so frustrating and can be a long time before they notice (or sometimes they never do).

[@Liz-wz8dh]

Exactly this. It's hard to explain to other people sometimes why you're avoiding the toxicity. They can't always see it.

[@baisinbu98]

“Some people cannot be in a group of friendship if they do not have one common enemy.” Priscilla speaks! Preach sis! 🫵🏾

[@Peacepeacelovelove]

👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾 I love choosing me, lots of folks can’t take authenticity, it usually reflects back just how fake and delusional people are. When you have your own agency, they CANNOT control you or your mind🙏🏾

[@funnyjokes4]

Thank you for this video. People often forget if you never done something to someone much less met them how is it your fault they don't like you.

[@mettamorph4523]

This is anti-"ride or die". Thank you! Ride or die is stupid. Someone you love CAN be wrong, don't follow or support them out of a warped view of loyalty. Be loyal to your OWN opinions. Say "I love you but I don't support this action you are taking."

[@lynette5877]

Thank you for posting this! I feel this way with my family. I don’t speak to one of my grandmothers, and my mother, because they got too comfortable crossing my boundaries. I’m home now visiting after moving to NYC to progress in my career, and when I saw extended family at a holiday party, my women relatives were acting WEIRD and passive aggressive towards me. I was just there for the music, drinks, and wings! They hate seeing you do better, and it’s so unfortunate because I LOVE my family 😢

[@iclickedbecauseiamtiredofs4630]

Woemen think they own you. And it's why the 🔴💊 is growing in the manosphere

[@RS33381]

I found that my personality is too strong for some. My mom and dad are the only ones that I truly vibe because we are the same

[@Datb2]

SAME 😂

[@RS33381]

@@Datb2 we are truly blessed then. Who needs anyone else 🫶

[@Lightreign888]

Agreed‼️‼️‼️ Crab in the barrel mentality.

[@gee_emm]

Thank you for crediting the original creator! The thing is, when you are unhealed, a people pleaser, a doormat and tolerating abuse, what kind of people will you have surrounded yourself with? And how do you think they will react when you begin to create boundaries and care for yourself? Sometimes everybody needs to dismissed, the company needs to be dissolved and you need to start from absolute scratch. Also, I highly recommend ‘Jealousy and Envy’ by Leon Wurmser. That book makes things much clearer.

[@preciouslyunhinged]

I can relate 100% ..this was my mum situation..in short she got married young,at 21 in 1999 but having a difficult husband and an evil step mother made her life and us miserable..at some point they had the nerve to come at our home at the time(around 2011).(dad and his minions of family)disrespected her,called her names bse she is an orphan and all the worst there is ..later she was like Nop...hell no,she learned to say no,she had her masters degree and decided to build her self up financially, established boundaries and were living better however every time there's a new "sister in low" or whatever peaple on my dads side of the family,they are told "she is a bad woman, bla bla bla " and me as a girl and first born ,23 years old,they cant manipulate me easily so they try to literally build gossip bse i stand up for my self and vocal abt not being used etc.😂😂😂😂 and bse they are lying it never actually works out for them,they get livid😂😂,i could careless but true..the whole "ur not likeable, nobody like u"thing isnt always bse ur the problem, its bse they are mad they cant step.on u like a door mat so they bond over talking shit....

[@DyaOrWhateva]

I’m back home after my first semester in college and I gained so much confidence and grew out of the boot licking young adult I was about to become. The only people that are supportive of me standing up for myself and not taking shi from anybody regardless of age are my mom and my sister, and I had to talk to them for hours for them to understand that I didn’t switch on them. I just became my best self and am happier than ever because I don’t just shut it and let people walk all over me anymore

[@avril.227]

With people who bully, for instance in the office, I just put on a smile and they think I like them, but I won’t be hanging out having drinks with them or gossiping. I appreciate that you emphasized the difference between acquaintance and friend. 🎯

[@zelayadivina]

This was nice to hear. I’ve been ostracized from 2 friend groups in my young life. After therapy and years of reflection, I learned they were all emotionally abusive. They did me a favor. It’s psychology for groups to naturally choose a scapegoat, or black sheep. Even in families. But that doesn’t make it okay. Thank you for this

[@sirius_lily]

Really needed to hear this today, thank you so much Priscilla 🥰🥰🥰🥰

[@Priscilla_Boye]

You are so welcome

[@unknownstranger6875]

I have cut ties with many people because I realized there were a lot of things I don’t like about them: Gossiping, back stabbing people, bullying others, not being able to keep a secret, not being able to respect my boundaries, etc. I was beginning to think that maybe I was becoming too avoidant and was the problem. There comes a point in life though, you do not want to be around certain people. Not everyone has the power to walk away. It’s lonely. But it’s better to be alone than surrounded by toxicity.

[@user-wl3lv8lx2u]

He’s sooooo right!!! The shadow era is choking people out and I love it!!!!🦾✌🏽

[@cheshirecat1212]

I have no friends, except for my housemate and my brother’s friends. It used to bother me until I found out that I’m autistic. Plus I have some commitment-phobia from spending much of my childhood being that friend that the group dumps on, or dumping on someone so the rest of the group doesn’t dump on me.

[@samco63]

Yes! I love this. Thank you!!! I always assumed it was me that was the problem - but my closest friend always said it’s because I had boundaries and am authentic. But I just didn’t think that was true. Thing is, there are a lot of people that like to manipulate and use and abuse people. And like you say - a lot of sheep out there! Great video as always! Wish I had friends like you and this community in real life ❤

[@traceylennon1204]

I do the same thing I ask. Why can't I talk to them? You challenge people when they say something negative about a person!

[@827honey1]

It can be both. Access the situation critically and move from there. Don’t live in self delusion about yourself or others.

[@AleTitan]

This makes me think of my current job. I really tried to make conversation and be friendly but no one likes me. They all already know each other, have cliques, and groupchats. I'm not included even though they said they would. They don't try to talk to me and I'm just standing there waiting for orders while everyone is talking amongst each other and they are. I'm the only person that isn't strictly white or black so idk if that's related. Another way to not fit in because different

[@ufos-cos]

Hate is a them problem, that’s a feeling they have, not me. That’s not my fault, that’s your fault. It’s not my problem, it really is theirs. Don’t you put that evil on me Ricky Bobby 😂😂😂

[@kekecampbell812]

This is sooo real man!

[@kennyav25]

My mantra now is I'M TOO OLD TO GAF😌🤷🏿‍♀️

[@Sky-yh3ml]

#metoo 🍿💅🐊🥣💭

[@indymg4456]

Exactly cause I question people behavior when they treat me a certain way or I be real through and through

[@peachesandpoets]

Reminds me of "we don't talk about Bruno". 😊

[@cosmosadorabilis7677]

This guy has told my whole story. Sh*tty parents, sibling, friends and "partners", who all abused me, took advantage of me, and dismissed me. I lost my 3 last jobs because although I was working better than most, I wasn't ready to fake subordination to people I wasn't even subordinated to. This being said, sometimes the person is the problem. I say this as someone who doesn't conform and has been bullied a lot, and looked at as bad because I didn't want to join their bs. I have also met people that will make *everyone* hates them, because they're just are that awful. We must remember these people exists too.

[@soullooker]

Dude i never felt so heard! All my life ive had issues with people gaining up on me. I dont relate to majority of ppl so i keep to myself. Its like a mob mentality.

[@traceylennon1204]

One of the best videos yet!!

[@laurahodgson6531]

Oh yes this. I 'm very aware that I've been respected but not generally liked (this is the correct way round ladies) at work and that suits me just fine. I have never seen a 'friend group' at work I would want to be a part of but seen plenty of bullying once one of them falls out with a 'popular' member of the clique. Absolute nonsense and it's usually grown ass women in their 30s and 40s. SMH. It can take some of us a while to understand that it really doesn't matter what random other people think of you but once you do it is life changing and very freeing.

[@Sunlumiinous]

Yes this is true. Had to let go of a lot people. So glad this video is done.

[@alwaysmisscee]

Thank you. ThankyouThankyouThankyou.

[@ca6248]

This video brought me so much comfort. Thank you, God, for allowing this video to find me. You knew I was struggling with this, and you sent me a message. ❤

[@Jasmine_Tigress]

I love this video.. one of my favorites

[@karisma-mcm]

12:00 This. Right here. Jealousy and miserable people. I had housemates like this that bullied me and betrayed me, one was jealous of the most petty things, and always looked at things people had with an envious eye and the other was quietly jealous and critical and controlling and negative and hated my positivity and fun nature. Thank God He protected me from them and let me know their nature before any permanent damage could be done.

[@ccannon1]

Getting called an AH your whole life for having boundaries only for everybody to grow up and then act like it’s a revelation that you can say no to people

[@Babes94-nx5lq]

I go through this wayyyyy too much and FINALLY someone said it, it's them not me I dobt even do anything to ppl at all when I say I don't bother ppl I don't bother ppl I stay in my lane and will STILL start stuff with me making problems for no reason

[@kakag.7401]

Definitely needed to see this. This message is right on time 😌

[@daniela_k]

The paradoxical thing is that everyone wants to be popular, noted and confirmed by others. In a workplace, as a new employee, you must very quickly learn the unwritten codes whether you like them or not. When everyone goes on afterwork then you have to follow whether you drink or not. Take an non -alcoholic drink. Hang out and get to know people and let them get to know you, you don't have to be friends with them. 🙂

[@Jae-by3hf]

Or people can go home or anywhere else but amongst unhealthy people! You are just as bad as the work environment, leave people alone!

[@AleTitan]

well you only follow if they invite you. So if they don't like you they won't invite you. And no one invites the new one. You really think there is a chance given...

[@saharkhalili5303]

My auntie said this about me - saying no one in the family likes me, when defending her storm out of the family chat in response to me

[@Carrybean]

I do agree as in don’t let people break your boundaries and tear you down and make you feel guilty for it, yeah. However there are a lot of people who are terrible, abusive toxic people who also think it’s not them, it’s everyone else and they will guilt and accuse you for not accepting them.

[@KolossalYouth]

No one hates me. The people that think they don't like me, are the people that don't know me at all or who are mad at my authenticity.

[@ShaeDaily]

This is why I truly like being alone. I’m at that point in my life!

[@traceylennon1204]

EVERYTHING that man said resonates with me..wrong friends, wrong parents for SURE!!

[@onelaneReally]

Man I was having this conversation today ! Wow!! My ex friend said that I was like no Y’all just not friends

[@maryannspicher]

The first time I noticed this “be a sheep or be cast out” mentality was in grade 6. It continued throughout my years in school. I never conformed and I was always an outcast. And I was ok with it. I couldn’t wait to grow up and leave school so people didn’t act this way anymore. 😂🤣 Wow the joke was on me I guess! Decades later dealing with the same behaviors! You have to hate this person bc I said so or you can’t be friends with this person because she’s MY friend. Ugh I wish people would grow up! If you choose not to drink at the bars and waste time and money, and be home with your kids instead, you’re the outcast. I can also remember older women I worked with hating on me being the young new person. I’m older now and see it happening and I can’t help but think sheesh, we had our youth and our day in the sun, it’s their turn now! Some hate that they simply aren’t drooled over anymore by men and hate on women for it. It’s all so childish and I want no part of it.

[@Liz-wz8dh]

I think it depends WHY the majority doesn't like you. I've often found that if I work or hang out in an environment where everyone smokes weed and commits petty crimes, I'm definitely not going to get along with those types. And I take that as a sign that I am doing well. However if everyone dislikes me because I'm doing something annoying, I try to take that into account. We all do things that annoy other people, after all. More often than not though, I find that the people around me are just small-minded and I have to stay mindful of that when I open my mouth. Listening carefully to your environment is really helpful to build discernment and not allow other people to guilt trip you over some bullshit.

[@kimmy225]

Wow this reminds me of family members who I haven’t spoken to in years that try to bully me.

[@KarenGriffith_SoulfulCoaching]

Spot on 🙌🏿

[@FragranceandBeautywithNonto]

I love your braids 😍 where are they from ?

[@Twinklestar932]

Happy birthday 🎉🎉🎉🎉 to me. Got no family or friends. Just my kid.

[@ALABRASILIANA]

💯

[@Christianmorgan12]

So glad im nt alone😢

[@johnpacella9519]

This is the type of person I would never speak with, much less form an opinion of.

[@min_tea_]

😂😂😂

[@samco63]

Also does this person have a KZbin? I’m not on TikTok, but I need to follow them as it’s so on point

[@moonlightstargem1006]

The guy in the video is me. He is my mirror soul ❤

[@stephaniebrooks8044]

If I don't want to do something, I'm not doing it!!

[@Roro99999]

Let me send this to my family rq When I set boundaries and didn’t let family walk over me because “they’re family “ I became a very lonely person, mind you I have 5 siblings. But I always known what I find wrong and right and I’m not having a relationship with ppl that treat me like crap now and when I was a kid

[@rizikimichelle5885]

My family 😌

[@asmita2318]

If you say no, people hate you.

[@gawd4582]

This. ❤❤❤