Inside the mind of the ISFJ

[@andrewpaterson860]

"Isfj houses are like walking into a hug"... yes!

[@NathanJGlass]

Glad you liked that line! I was quite proud of that one tbh.

[@nefelovamon]

@@NathanJGlass I had to pause in order to laugh freely! Also at 5:53!

[@jhp040980]

I love this analogy 💕.

[@lemmondrop239]

It's a shame that ISFJs aren't talked about as much as other types... I think it might be because we're the most common type, and our culture tends to treat rare things as more valuable. And at first I WAS disappointed to be the most common type. But then I realized that from an evolutionary standpoint, the characteristics which are most common in a population are also the most important for survival. Because you know what else is common? Thumbs. Humans as a species could not function without thumbs, and I believe that civilized society wouldn't last very long without ISFJs to help maintain the order and harmony, not to mention our internal motivation to just get things done without complaint. But the problem is that everyone takes their thumbs for granted. Everyone agrees they're necessary, but it's so easy to forget how much we need them. When was the last time YOU thought about your thumbs, and actually appreciated what they do for your quality of life? I think that's why people tend to overlook our contributions. Our work sometimes goes unnoticed because we're pretty quiet, we're not going to call attention to ourselves, and our goal is to quietly and unobtrusively maintain stability. We not only construct an internal sense of homeostasis, but we want to create it for those around us, and people don't notice things that don't change. ISFJs certainly aren't going to start revolutions, but the impact we make is still SO important, even if most people don't notice it.

[@redskyalice2529]

I think ISFJs are awesome. My mother is an ISFJ and she is super organised and has novel ways of fixing things. Also being "common" (crappy word to use here) should rather be "popular". You're not likely to feel as lonely and misunderstood as the rarest type (INFJs for eg) are. More people can relate to you. There's a sort of grounded "normalcy" that rarer types look to as their yardstick for normal in this world. Go ISFJs!

[@rebekahw.8990]

You’re right, society would fall apart. And it would be glorious 😉

[@Shush7717]

You explained it very beautifully.

[@EliJGonzalez]

YAS you ISFJ queen! I wouldn't have grown up to be the caring, responsible adult I am today if not for my ISFJ mother.

[@lemmondrop239]

@@Shush7717 thank you. :)

[@margos666]

Not all ISFJs are nursing housewives, they make the MOST amazing leaders too! Over last decade+ my ISFJ director: - was the only one who has never signed off a project that would end up screwed up; - would criticise you in a way that would build you up most naturally; - kept an exemplary record of return clients and tidy book keeping, while being the one terminating the relationships with those abusing his staff or projects; - teased you in the wittiest and most gentle way so that you'd WANT to be picked up on; - was my role model in both professional and personal life (incl. his family life), for he's the most balanced person I've ever seen (even when it comes to Si-Ne!). P.S. My mum says she want him for his husband, but he's in such a good shape that I tell her to back off :D

[@lemmondrop239]

I LOVE this comment! I am an isfj in my mid 20's and a coordinator of a program. I have 30 employees to keep track of, mentor, train, and to hold accountable for their work. Running a program requires careful planning and analysis, rigorous organization, and the ability to create and maintain structure and consistency, which I find easier than most of my colleagues, I think because of Si. I also work hard to treat all employees with respect and kindness, because I feel a deep need to make sure they feel cared for, supported, and motivated - high Fe. One of my employees recently told me "I wrote about you in my ethics and values paper. I was supposed to write about someone who is a role model for compassion." and I felt so humbled by it, and so SEEN in that moment. Being a leader of a program is not where I imagined myself to end up, and it was definitely a large learning curve (learning to not avoid conflict is STILL something I'm learning), but I absolutely love my job because it's SO rewarding.

[@banandababa]

Completely agree. I think I make a great manager/leader if I say so myself. More so than some overpowering extroverted types.

[@ppaola]

nurses are leaders too. The profession requires leadership and responsibility with the team. I see this everyday when a go to praticals of my university. And I am isfj and almost graduated nurse.

[@user-el6my6vi7p]

something i’ve noticed in the community is that people are so hungry for being one of the “rare” personality types to seem unique and “it’s true because nobody really gets me”. it’s funny because the “rarest”/more uncommon types are the most overrated, both for that sake and also the fact that people easily mistype themselves as such. in my opinion, the more popular/common, the more underrated and overlooked. these types aren’t boring, being part of a large or small percentage doesn’t make you any more or less special than you were before discovering personality typing.

[@gingerballin]

true

[@jbmesa50]

Well said. My ISFJ wife if the most incredible woman I have ever met. She is loving, determined, and quietly brilliant.

[@beefee7279]

I agree -ESFP

[@Shayne_T]

Yes, it’s kind of annoying. Like you mentioned, many people mistype themselves, I’m still trying to figure out what my type is.

[@fearenheit7423]

We are all individuals. In that sense we are each as rare as the next. Your analysis of ‘rarity/overrated’ MBTI types in tangentially off. It’s not a choice to similar or different as individuals, more like a lottery. The more common MBTI types have more opportunities to meet like minded people to help them understand themselves through their growth and development. The rarer the MBTI type the fewer people who understand you on an individual and societal basis. And there are several MBTI types who are so different, they may think they will never be understood and are consistently misunderstood, misinformed, misguided, just plan. Missing information to help them understand themselves and the world at them. Rare does equate to special or better or even more complex, rare mean ability to be understood by those around you. I am a male INFJ-A I can give you a simple mindset of rarity. I have the ability understand everyone, but no one ever understands me. Be you and know your rare because you understand how you fit into your world and how you can create harmony with as many as you can with little self sacrifice. I on the other hand have no options but to find other “rare” MBTI just to be believed that I do exist and am not as crazy or weird as people assume. But I am definitely weird,!and crazy both in a positive sense of the words. Honestly I wouldn’t be surprised to see a comment from you on Austism videos upset that they have the label‘special’ because you think you are special too.

[@kristenrichardson439]

I am a ISFJ. Who else?

[@deeveevideos]

My wife and im an Entp😦. been together 13 yrs lol boy howdy are we so different from each other but compliment each other perfectly. 😁

[@kristenrichardson439]

@@deeveevideos that is wonderful!

[@deeveevideos]

@@kristenrichardson439 😁

[@jeanettebjaras2470]

I am!

[@mymamalovesme]

@@deeveevideos I think that is lovely and cute :)

[@fursteveferret3771]

I find isfj's one of the most comfortable personalities types to be around.. Thanks for giving them their much deserved credit..

[@julyol119]

Absolutely agree! They are the least draining people to be around.

[@steppbrooEFT]

I'm an ENTJ, and I could only truly be myself with one person, and she's an ISFJ, had always felt like that since day one, massive crush on her, takin it slow tho, let's hope it goes well.

[@notanymore8631]

pisces and isfj lol

[@Cat-fj5sl]

@@steppbrooEFT Holy crap, same. Hope it went out well

[@TaxingIsThieving]

@@steppbrooEFT I'm an INTP who likes ENTJs, it'd be a shame if you're all into ISFJs.

[@solangefernandes9936]

Maybe a series on why the world needs each type?

[@NathanJGlass]

That's a brilliant, brilliant idea! I'll add that to the list!

[@freya2790]

I admire how concise you can express your understanding of the types.

[@lovewho]

Thank you! I find it difficult to have an extra waffle/content on the videos ~ Nathan

[@OfficialSpyderr]

Hahahahaha. "Incase I am coming off as spoiled in this video... I am" and the "it is 2020 so if you say anything nasty I will be offended" creased me. A nice dig at this current asinine pc culture

[@lovewho]

I couldn't resist saying it! ~ Nathan

[@allyrayn2188]

I have an ISFJ friend who's very studious and hardworking to the point he would sometimes forgo eating or resting in favour of getting his shit done. It's honestly admirable and infuriating at the same time.

[@NathanJGlass]

Hope you enjoyed the video, I feel the same way regarding their steadfastness.

[@Marixpress2]

I wish I had a personality type that actually gets things done instead of spending loads of time playing out different scenarios in my head of how it could go.

[@lemmondrop239]

I'm an ISFJ and have been married to an ENTP for a few years. The comment you made about compromising to make solid decisions is COMPLETELY true. My husband's optimism about the future helps me stop worrying so much about it, and my practicality helps narrow down our ideas to ones which are realistic, achievable, and sustainable. It also helps that I have the energy to make those plans a reality. I feel like my husband could come up with idea after idea but never really DO anything with them. Once he gets started on making his vision a reality, he loses steam very quickly. So I'm usually there to encourage him, keep him focused, and help him where I can. So far it's worked pretty well for us. :)

[@lovewho]

That sounds like the ideal/healthy way to do an ENTP/ISFJ relationship, love it! ~ Nathan

[@downsjmmyjones101]

I'm quite fascinated by people who manage these opposite relationships. Either one or both of you is quite developed. Glad it works out for you because I know I'd have trouble.

[@lemmondrop239]

@@downsjmmyjones101 it's been a struggle sometimes! It requires a lot of patience, empathy, and willingness to compromise. But, to be fair, all marriages should have those anyway. MBTI has helped me quite a bit, as it's been an extremely useful tool for personal growth and also understanding the value of my lower functions. It also helps that my husband shows me the true benefits of those functions too. He's changed my perspective a lot. It's been worth all the struggle.

[@downsjmmyjones101]

@@lemmondrop239 The compromise thing has interested me. Why do marriages or whatever require compromise? Can the two parties involved not just do what they want?

[@themoonbleu627]

James Downs compromising is part of love in general when you love anyone you willingly compromise

[@downsjmmyjones101]

Si doms are interesting. When they ask the same questions, I think I'm being snarky by giving the same answer. I think they want something different but after a while I realized that that's probably what they want. They actually want me to give the same answer every time. They're comforted by the familiar and I'm just showering them in warmth when I think I'm getting at them. It's a bit like arguing with an ENTP and thinking you're frustrating them when really you're just making them more interested.

[@NathanJGlass]

Fascinating, I've noticed my grandparent that I mentioned does that!

[@margauxthompson4628]

Exactly. My best friend is ENTP and sometimes I ask him if he still loves me in a very insecure manner. In turn he usually calls me a goldfish brain. Those on the outside don't seem to get this and think he's being mean. He's not! He's comforting me.

[@TaxingIsThieving]

@@margauxthompson4628 Eh?

[@nailachoudhury3795]

This was so interesting, I'm glad I've got to learn more about them. They are neglected in the mbti community and massively underrated in the real world too

[@lovewho]

100% agreed, it's a shame it took me this long to do a video on them! ~ Nathan

[@kristenrichardson439]

I appreciate you saying that, Naila! We are underrated. 😇

[@romancetag9313]

I am an INFP and my husband is an ISFJ, I can never repay all the kindness he is showing me. He is looking after me like a parent would and has a patient of a saint, despite all of my craziness, the mess I make around the house and me always having my head up in the clouds, he never berates me for this, but instead tries to gently guide me away from the next pole I might walk into.

[@maggie1321972]

You just described my marriage! omg They are amazing! 😢

[@Sarabian.sarabian]

Mine is unhealthy unfortunately flaws take over qualities

[@Sarabian.sarabian]

He is easy to live with but non communicative. his inner world absorbs him and he s too devoted to his friends even a new encounter can influence his family decisions.

[@raph009]

My bf is ISFJ and I'm an ENTP. We're polar opposites, but complement each other nicely (when I don't get upset by his lack of risk-taking). I've learned to accept that he likes his little routine and his old slippers and he encourages me to try out new things and to be spontaneous, but if one of us tries to impose their view of the world on the other, we clash. For those who think that ISFJ-ENTP couples are impossible, we've been together for well over 10 years, now. It's all very possible with compromise and communication.

[@itiswhatitis7200]

I’m INTP married to an ISFJ. My husband is the most comforting, warm, kind hearted and easy going man I’ve ever had in my life.

[@oof7882]

4:06 i'm a isfj and kinda hate this about myself sometimes, because for a while i've been wanting to learn korean and japanese and i have i have small reasons for wanting to learn but for some reason i can't seem to justify putting a lot of work into learning a skill just for fun especially since it has no practical value in my life when i could spend more time improving my other skills that could get me money or are more valuable to have. Thinking logically sucks sometimes because why can't i let myself do something just for the fun of it, i feel like i need to learn not everything has to have a reason for doing it, idk if that made sense...

[@julyol119]

If you keep learning languages - one of the most challanging tasks for a brain - throughout your life, it will stave off brain degeneration like dementia, if I'm remembering this correctly. And your brain will remain flexible and able to adapt better, learning other skills faster as well. So, there you go. It's never illogical to learn an additional language. And you never know how or where this skill might eventually come in handy. Maybe you'll be able to impress a higher up by being able to converse with a foreign collaborative partner in their native tongue.

[@teddmented]

Same. I feel guilty indulging in fun unless I earned it through hard work.

[@nevedingle2546]

EXACTLY

[@laislyra5512]

I'm an ISFJ and my two best friends are INFPs. I think they remind me that I don't have to worry so much about following a set of instructions. For example, cooking. I always thought it would be very hard, that there should be logical order, the right ingredients... And I end up overcomplicating the whole process. When I went to my friend's house and we had nothing to eat, she just pulled out some ingredients, cooked, and we came up with something to eat. They remind me that not everything has to be complicated.

[@sandracross483]

I love this video❤...hey world...what more do you want?😆😆😆... ...I prepare against bad future outcomes...yes.

[@seventhsheaven]

My poor, long-suffering ISFJ mom, having an unhealthy ESFP husband and an ENTP daughter. At least she has an ISTJ son to take pride in.

[@lovewho]

Haha this made me laugh! ~ Nathan

[@seventhsheaven]

Love Who I think being each other’s “shadow” makes it difficult for us to see eye-to-eye, but there are times when we’re surprisingly in-sync.

[@rebekahw.8990]

My mom’s an ISFJ, my dad is an INTP, I’m an ISTP, and my brother is also an INTP so...

[@brucebruno842]

My farther, ISTP, had cancer throughout my teens while my ESFP mother worked 2 full-time jobs to try and save him. He finally went into full remission and 2 years later when I was 21 shot himself. Then 4 years later Hurricane Katrina wiped out my tightly-knit community. My ESFP codependent mother has been long-suffering too. Being an INFJ only child with a codependent ESFP under these circumstances is sometimes unbearable. I feel for you mom! ESFPs can be blind to the root of their emotional problems, and even then they just want to ignore them hoping they'll just go away. Time heals all wounds THAT ARE TENDED TO!

[@preuischeprinzessin9964]

Lol, open-mindedness intellectuality and adventure are a threat.

[@najwasakina5733]

as a software developer ISFJ, my collegue called me a third core processor/multithreaded as i code, delegates task, gossips and attend meetings at the same time 😂

[@Martinus777]

I wonder if the perception that ISFJs are not interested in typology comes from the fact that many ISFJs who are interested in typology mistype as INFJs - this also could be because for every video about ISFJs there is a dozen about INFJs, even though supposedly for every INFJ in the world there is a dozen of ISFJs. I think typology is neat, practical and organised - while also dealing with people - so should be quite interesting to ISFJs with their Si, Ti and Fe.

[@Hyurno]

I got mistyped as INTP and just recently discovered I'm an ISFJ. It took some time for me to sink it in, but now many things in my life make sense. I've learned that inferior Ne manifests in very tricky ways. Inferior Ne makes me overthink and be paranoid about the future. I'm very scared I might have messed something up and someone will get mad at me. Demon Ni makes it hard for me to know who I should and shouldn't trust. I'm working on that. I used to trust very easily (I still kinda do it...). Asuming everyone is a good person and would never hurt me if I didn't hurt them. So, I learned, unlike INTPs... ISFJs tend to overshare because, since it's so clear to us that being a bad person and evil is illogical... we asume every human has that same thought process. When in reality, they don't. It's hard being an ISFJ. I just want to help everyone. But end up burning myself out and dealing with impostor syndrome very often.

[@humanbeing1754]

There's nothing like Inferior Ne (Mbti model) or Demon Ni (C S Joseph's Type Grid model) These are purely philosophical models with no empirical data backing them up Big 5 personality traits are scientifically and psychometrically valid, focus more on them Mbti is only psychometrically valid in terms of dichotomies, and there's no concrete evidence of the cognitive functions View these personality type models in a subjective way and use them subjectively only, because they're not objective in any way

[@giantjupiter]

I got mistyped as an ISTP and I'm actually an ISFJ

[@humanbeing1754]

@@giantjupiter And none of that can be objectively proven with scientific method involving unbiased observations.

[@welovemusic8542]

Whatever you said applies for me too...why do people give personality development based on our types

[@bakalurx]

I keep thinking everyone likes me. So i just sharing everything.😂

[@ehs35]

my mom is an isfj, and i can unfortunately confirm she is often undervalued or thought of as 'invisible'. im an infp, and although there are times where i don't understand her way of processing things and she sometimes doesn't understand mine, i would never want to change a single thing about her and love her indefinitely. she gives without wanting or expecting anything back, and tries her best at everything she does. although i prefer thinking less logically, she perfectly balances me out when i feel lost in my thoughts and often keeps me grounded. love you mom.

[@MarieClairAmorim]

I regret discover that I am ISFJ so late in my life, because a lot of things from my personality I spent a lot of time criticizing in myself just makes sense now, and I'm proud of it (sometimes I just want to spend the rest of my life in my room because people dont notice my efforts to make them feel comfortable all the time but... Well, I really love make things be easier to others even if it makes things worse and more complicated to me...

[@kjdaniels3267]

Well deserved video for a type that doesn't get enough love and apperciation for all that they do. I'm an ISFJ and feel one thing that we are better at than other types is helping people to appericiate the little things in life. Oh and I've definitely wondering if I was an INTP or wanted to be one due to all the negative SJ stereotype.

[@astralpasta7014]

My ESTJ sister and I bullied my ISFJ mom into playing a new board game with us (and my sister's ESFJ husband. They both despondently watched my sister and I get into a pregame debate about something stupid, but it helped me learn how T-types can be totally blind to the tense emotional atmospheres they create) and she unexpectedly immediately started winning (it was based on identifying who wrote what. we thought she'd lose because her english grammar and handwriting are so distinctive). The shade she threw at my competetive sister was legendary. Sister: "I'm going to WIN. NO ONE CAN STOP ME. 🔥" [later, peering over ESTJ's shoulder at score sheet] Mom: "Oh I have 8! ♥️ Ok. ...Sweetie what's wrong, you still don't have any? Aww. 😔 Well, it's ok. Next round you'll get it." It sounds like she was just being nice and I'm sure she was trying to be conciliatory but she's also the most understatedly sarcastic bitch I know so I died. The evil horns are hiding under a flower crown. My sister was secretly somewhat touched at first until I started LMAO. So much rage.

[@lovewho]

This story is BRILLIANT!!!! All hail to the underdog ISFJs ~ Nathan

[@seventhsheaven]

Same with my mom. “Oh, don’t worry love, you’ll get a point next round.” Pause. Bursts into bitchy laughter. ISFJs are great at things like puzzles and quizzes, so I don’t bother competing with her.

[@stan8479]

I had a similar sort of situation recently with my INFP girlfriend (I’m the ISFJ in this scenario). We were playing poker and I was determined to play because I’d recently discovered a repetitive mistake I would make with betting, where I wouldn’t bet more than two if ever I was unconfident about my hand, which I decided to eliminate entirely by just pretending to be confident even when I had absolutely nothing. It worked as I’d hoped, and my girlfriend was jokingly about to give up, to which I replied “aww, you can still win though :)”, knowing full well I wouldn’t back down from my current strategy. I won. I love that sort of light mocking humor. And don’t worry, my girlfriend thinks it’s funny too.

[@Jaimelaffoon]

My husband is an Isfj and this is TRUTH!

[@maryann5981]

I am an INFJ with a brother who is an ISFP and a deceased sister who was an ISFJ. We realized after her death she was the glue that kept our family together. To this day, my brother and I struggle to keep the next generation of our family structurally close. Any ideas how an INFJ & ISFP can emulate an ISFJ?

[@NathanJGlass]

Wow thats a big question to answer. The INFJ can keep track of how everything is feeling and what path they should be on (fe and ni) while the ISFP can provide people with fun and comforting sensory and sensual experiences involved food, walks, etc. That's my best attempt but it's a thought provoking question! Hope you enjoyed the video.

[@wst.3670]

Wow this is so touching. Brought tears to my eyes. So sorry for your loss. Your sister i imagine would be moved by your efforts…as well as you & your brother recognizing/honouring her isfj nature. My mom is an isfj and she truly is the glue as well.

[@helkera]

I'm an ISTP and I've been with my ISFJ partner for 13 years and yeah his Ti really is no joke. He's the only person I know that always understands where I'm coming from. I absolutely love our discussions. Being with him has been the easiest thing in the world for me.

[@SweetSerenadeXyWem]

Hey! I'm an ISFJ and currently dating an ISTP. I really struggle with making my needs known but at the same time giving him the space and freedom to do whatever he wants. Do you have any advice on that? I don't want to 'choke' him with too much structure, or asking to much of him in general, but me trying to be very flexible is also exhausting in a way. So if you have any advice on how I could make my needs known without potentially putting him off I would very much like to hear it.

[@sayscate]

As an ETNP married to an ISFJ for longer than you've been alive, you art spot on. Because I'm and ENTP I take special care to not take unfair advantage of my ISFJ. We also make an excellent team because he spots the flaws in my ideas and we are able to come up with great plans of how to proceed. You are so right about ISFJs being underrated, they are the best!

[@kaavyakhatri6272]

Very little isfj content out there that's positive and you seem to know what you're talking about. Would be lovely to see more.

[@ilona6328]

Loved that video. Hope to see more of them on ISFJs. They seem very lovely.

[@NathanJGlass]

Thank you! They certainly are lovely.

[@ShaleNinja]

I'm so pleased you made this video. I'm so pleased SOMEONE has talked about this type. My flatmate is an ISFJ and this is her right down into the 'walking into a hug' hospitality, but bordering on negativity approach to novel shit (as an INTP, I am a Novel Shit Generator and general chaos merchant - ie: a pain in her butt). We do make a strangely excellent team when I rein in my YES BUT WHAT ABOUT daisy-chain of thoughts/stream of consciousness and she reins in the desire to shoot down anything new and unexpected - a LOT gets solved very quickly in this mode, and we call each other on our respective crap. ISFJs are beautiful people, and I feel like they are underrated in so many ways as they silently keep the world glued together.

[@mourdredmourning3865]

I love ISFJs so much and I once mistyped myself as an ISFJ and I was so happy about it. A lot of things about ISFJs resonated with me but then when I knew about cognitive fubctions I discovered I wasn't ISFJ lol. But still I admire you all

[@77maanno]

It’s so interesting that you say that ISFJs could mistype as INTPs. I often relate a lot to the descriptions of INTPs actually. There’s a lot to that. And I also want to say that some of us are really interested in and fascinated by new ideas and theories. And will love a deep conversation about all types of mental/emotional/psychological ideas and theories. I’ll see the illogic in anything, but will always just love throwing thoughts back and forth and learning from each other. And I think no one is as intuitive and accurate in their understanding of people as are ISFJs. An INFJ will assume, whereas an ISFJ will use their extremely well developed impression and they’ll see the deepest, most hidden parts of a person, often even hidden to themselves until the ISFJ helps them discover it. That would be a well developed, healthy and mature ISFJ.

[@TaxingIsThieving]

I'm an INTP and am confused by this comparison.

[@LuckyAnimals]

I’m an ISFJ, and I’m so happy to see you do a video about us! I loved this. I definitely agree that our type is generally underrated, and I feel that your explanation is one that does us justice and explains aspects of us very accurately!

[@FartherReach]

ISFJs are underrated intellectually. My ISFJ stepfather was a physician and obviously very intelligent. My ISFJ cousin is a school teacher and a publisher. I knew an ISFJ psychotherapist who had an excellent reputation and an ISFJ artist of some renown. Somehow I know many ISFJ males, which runs counter to stereotype. The ISFJ males I know are not especially emotionally expressive, and they can be quite masculine in their behavior, but they have a warm kindness to go with their keen intellect.

[@nawniep8471]

Finally you mentioned us!! Great video as always

[@lovewho]

Thanks! Yes it took me way too long to mention ISFJs, I'll try to make up for it! ~ Nathan

[@melanieehmele3867]

Omg, that's so true! I made a test and my result was INTP, like you said. But I never really could see me in this logical way of thinking, without consider any feelings. I always thought I'm too emotional to be an INTP. Now I found out that I'm an ISFJ and that helpend me to understand a lot of things I do. And the fact that this typ often gets tested as an INTP strengthen my thoughts. Thank you for the good description of us ISFJ's :)

[@enigma7744]

The way you explain isfj reminds me as my grandma she a giver and not a taker very caring people isfj are

[@lovewho]

It does kind of feel like everyone's grandma is basically an ISFJ, it's like you become on after a certain age lol ~ Nathan

[@charmainefrost]

Perhaps aging allows us to develop the 3rd and 4th functions in our “stack”. Introspection and external feedback often make us aware of where we are lacking. Initially, we may try to compensate, by using our preferred functions (1st and 2nd) in different ways. However, compensation doesn’t always succeed; this then pushes us to work on developing new competencies (ie., develop greater appreciation for and skill with the tertiary and inferior functions). This leads to both comfort with and proficiency in those areas - an ability to draw upon skills associated with those functions when the need arises. We become more adaptable and purposeful in how we interact with the world. So, a 60 year old with Fe and Si in their “stack” could purposely pull from those areas of competency in certain contexts - for example, a visit from the grandchildren. Who has Si and Fe in their stack? ISFJ, ESFJ, INTP and ENTP. In theory, all of these are capable of showing an ISFJ face to their grandchildren. The role of “ grandmother” and the archetype of this role all say “Be ISFJ”, and all 4 of these types (in theory) can resonate with and exhibit that face on command.

[@connorschmidt5945]

Love ISFJ's. So warm, so caring,so dependable.

[@lovewho]

Amen ~ Nathan

[@joannegild8001]

I would like to know your name, Mr. Narrator. I like your style. I am an INTP in a relationship with an ISFJ. Our biggest difference is that he is organized and I’m not. We get along amazingly well ini spite of that. I work at making my advisory bent noncritical.

[@qwecatnip]

I really like the script of this channel's videos. It gives the videos an artistic feel. Usually artistic videos on KZbin feature bautifully shot clips or "aesthetic" editing. The visuals itself of the videos are simple but the way the ideas/content are expressed are done with the touch of an artist. I appreciate this novel style of videos. Also the humor. And most of all, the realistic and positive portrayal of each type.

[@lovewho]

This is genuinely my favourite type of reaction to our videos! I really appreciate this comment. ~ Nathan

[@1rxmode588]

"What more do you want?" I've felt this at times.

[@cosmic_seabunny]

I’m an INTP and I have someone I love: an ISFJ. I’ve been told that we don’t go well together and because I’m me I’ve decided to ignore that and pursue him anyway. How could I not? He’s caring, responsible, respectful, funny and passionate about things he likes (which is adorable). He has so much emotions and is so sure of choices and planning that it fascinates me! He’s also really selfless and protective. ^^

[@taiweannoona1204]

I'm an INTP also. I've been suspecting that my brother is an ISFJ. Your take on your love interest hit my brother's personality on the head. He's really adorable too. I appreciated your comment

[@labass12]

As an ISFJ, thank you for this video. I am the middle of the second big breakup of my life (from an INFJ) and was feeling pretty down. This made me feel better, even for a short time.

[@emilyyanchak1623]

My Best friend is an ISFJ, and it makes complete sense. She's so lovely and kind and the best listener. She's so in-tuned with other peoples emotions and is one of the funniest people to be around. She brings literally joy every room she walks into. She's not loud, but when she talks everyone listens because whatever she says is just so articulate. She is also the smartest person in the room but does not even have an ego because she's so confident but does not show it in a way that makes you feel inferior. She truly is a one of the kind person and I want to learn more about her type to understand her more, so thanks for making this video! It's also funny enough as an INFP, so on the 16 personality website, it says she is Samwise from lotr, and I am Frodo Baggins from lotr, and it's just funny how we became best friends.

[@lostsoul4021]

I'm lucky to have an ISFJ best friend. I like that ISFJs care, they also know a lot, and they're always genuine. (INTJ)

[@77maanno]

Thanks for these isfj videos. There are so few of them. I’d love to see more! How about one on how we defy our stereotypes? I have been so into this stuff, but I find it so discouraging that isfjs are portraied in ways I really can’t relate to at all. At least you show us some respect in your videos, so thanks for that! I just feel that we must be one of the most misunderstood types and that we can be so much more complex and mysterious than we are given credit for.

[@gooddaygene8355]

Te PoLR: I've seen ISFJs struggle when learning a new system in an abstract way. INFJs will abstractly learn the systems but have a difficult time implementing it in reality.

[@dante7817]

Yes, and it makes us look incompetent in reality:(

[@NightCloudI]

Yes, as an INFJ I know it's my problem too..

[@grumpyschnauzer]

Great video!! It’d be interesting to hear you articulate differences between ISFJ and INFJ.

[@bubby2325]

ISFJ here. Good info. Like your style. Thanks!

[@lovewho]

Thank you! I appreciate it ~ Nathan

[@timbeer8266]

I remember in an INTP video, you talked about how only INTP's seem to like the cryptic crosswords. Well, my mother is an ISFJ and is the only other person I know who enjoys solving them. (You are also spot on about their Ne, they advocate Murphy's Law).

[@TheRealHerbaSchmurba]

My ISFJ dad and friend also love those types of activities

[@lovewho]

Interesting! Also that makes a lot of sense ~ Nathan

[@stiken4421]

Beautiful take on ISFJs! It's always so enjoyable to interact with them!

[@lovewho]

Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it! ~ Nathan

[@BeyondSustainableLiving]

Brilliant! Spot on! I’m an INTJ who adores a few ISFJs. I too think they’re intelligent and I enjoy working with them. And, I love how they’re so sweet and funny and take care of me. ❤

[@InkaHalme]

Around ten years back I got ISTP in an online test, I accepted it and got comfortable with it. It took a long time until I decided to try again instead of overanalyzing every question. I got INTP. Rolled with that for a while. After that I finally got ISFJ and the more I read about it the more it made sense.

[@juliabrum9517]

Hi, I would like to thank you for this video, nobody really talks about SJs types, we're so common and come across so unspecial. You made me like myself more, I really appreciate it thank you.

[@lovewho]

This is really great to hear! ISFJs are such a brilliant and underrated type ~ Nathan

[@ShakiraElizabeth]

My Oma is an ISFJ (grandma) - unfortunately she’s perhaps gone slightly dark. She’s always eager to do everything for everyone, wants me to be as comfortable as I can when I come over, seriously does everything (even though she can barely walk) But at the same time, she is sadly very manipulative. She’s also confused that not everyone else is exactly like her and she struggles to accept my extreme analytical “nature” as she says. She would rather be happy and not know, than to know and be unhappy. I am not that way. She hates it.

[@lovewho]

A dark ISFJ, interesting creature indeed ~ Nathan

[@TaxingIsThieving]

This is why I don't like ISFJs, as an INTP.

[@HodsBroo]

The most common type! I love them! Like a warm candle. -ENFJ

[@schickv]

You're the best at getting the point across! Please, could you do a video on how to distinguish the INTJ and the INTP?

[@lovewho]

I'll definitely be doing type comparison videos soon! Also thank you ~ Nathan

[@EdelSlow]

finally. a channel where people talk about isfj without stupid stereotypes like "they are so baby and uwu and naive" also "don't neglect their care but don't take it for granted either" is the best advice for befriending isfj fr

[@ohyeah2269]

They are so warm its true. My aunt is one and she's been a mother role in my life. I'm so grateful

[@thelucidlynx1579]

My mom is an ISFJ and I am an INTP, she’s so warm and an amazing mom but trust me it can be so difficult when the level of logic in a conversation is not the same, like when we’re arguing about something and she doesn’t understand how it doesn’t make any logical sense. But mostly I stop the conversation because I will only get more frustrated

[@krystalquinn]

Same! I'm an INTP and my mom's an ISFJ.... I have the same thing to say about our relationship

[@MoonLotusStarseed]

I don't typically comment on videos, BUT, i appreciate you making this video. I am so happy someone FINALLY see us as something other than stubbourn, boring, and short sighted. We ISFJs are so much more. Thanks for pointing it out!

[@xElNinoo]

Any other ISFJ's in here that get absolutely entrenched in that Si-Ti loop? I am such a deep thinker, like its literally 80% thinking and 20% doing. Its something I always work on, but my instincts are for caution and safety. Like you say, indulging in comfort is what we do best haha. You summed it up perfectly at the end: A logical approach to life, with strong consideration for others' feelings. Indeed, what more can one want?

[@attheranch873]

LOL 🤣 “But it is 2020, and if you say anything nasty I will be offended“ CLEVER👏🏼

[@InternetLiJo]

Great points as they reference taking care of the physical body and physical needs of others.

[@hollyvincentart]

Not to sound weird but there's something very comforting about seeing you film this from your car...

[@samtee]

What... The heck....? That's such a coincidence! Whenever we have guests, I make them tea and egg on toast, I also ask that question, "have you eaten yet?", Or I'll ask my friends, it's prolly the second question in a greeting you'll hear from me!

[@jeanettebjaras2470]

Discovering that I am an ISFJ made it more understadable to me why I have never been able to like any new music. It's not possible for me to overlook the full context of new music because I need some distance in time to be sure that I like something, I can't like it if I can't relate to it and have some memory connected to it, and certainly not if I don't know anything about the musician or songwriter. I need the historical context both for the music itself and for my experience of it. When listening to music live though, especially like a small gig In a calmer environment, I seem to take it in more directly and that's the only time I can become instantly fond of something more "new". Do you think that the environment is bringing out the FE more so that the music just tricks the SI?

[@TaxingIsThieving]

That is interesting, but why do you need to know about the context of a song to like the song?

[@jeanettebjaras2470]

@@TaxingIsThieving it has more to do with feeling a context than knowing a context. And to have a certain feeling connected to the song established before. When I hear my favourite singer I really like the feeling of hearing his voice as much from within as with my ears.

[@sirbradfordofhousejones]

5:30 many ways to skin a cat, but you'd never ever catch one of us ISFJs skinning a poor kitty cat. ;)

[@laviniasnow4494]

No, we would find something to feed it. 😅

[@irinashaunelledeguzman658]

Im a female INTP trying to study my best friend and now im having second thoughts of who i really am

[@yesthatisababytoucan.youre6983]

I'm sorry, but from what I've heard (and seen in my INTP mother), if you are truly an INTP, you are forever cursed to second guess your type. 😅 I'm not a MBTI expert yet tho, so I might be understanding things incorrectly. Have a good day 💛✨

[@TaxingIsThieving]

@@yesthatisababytoucan.youre6983 Nope, I'm an INTP and certain of it.

[@luminyam6145]

Omg that is so sweet, I love your grandparent ISFJ. I married an ESFJ and he is so attentive to our whole family's needs it is unbelievable.

[@5eT1130]

i sometimes wonder y my ISFJ mom would give me an impression of ISTJ.. this video finally gave me the answer! 3rd slot Ti still contributes a lot in giving them a logical sense!

[@NathanJGlass]

Glad you enjoyed the video and even more glad you got some useful insight from it!

[@chimoore6111]

Great video as usual Nathan! Content is spot on, digestible, and entertaining. Looking forward to seeing you post an ESFJ video in the future.

[@NathanJGlass]

Thank you!

[@ObscureClarity]

So true. I spot logical inconsistencies all the time and keep my mouth shut for multiple reasons... At times not to upset people, especially when I know it'll offend them or make them defensive. Other times because I can tell they're being unfair for a selfish purpose and logical consistency is not anything they care about in such situation. Some other times because I'm used to certain people not listening to me or considering what I have to say (from repeated past experiences with them). In conclusion, people often don't know what I'm thinking and I feel they have to do certain things in order to earn my sharing that with them. To be honest, most people aren't up to the task - not like they usually feel they're missing out on anything anyway.

[@TaxingIsThieving]

Probably why I see ISFJs as fake...

[@johnnatandc]

To be logic, paractical and desiring things "To make sense" that is my key cornerstone.

[@Kokola-qh9wp]

ISFJs are extremely capable of caring (similar to ESTJs - although maybe this is a common SJ trait?), sometimes altruistic to a fault. However, they are incredibly intelligent - I find many become doctors (matching their caring/giving and intelligence traits)! The world wouldn't function as smoothly without ISFJs....

[@lovewho]

Amen! ~ Nathan

[@kristen6207]

Doctor isfj here! Probably very unsurprising that my chosen specialty is family medicine. Still working on setting boundaries with patients and becoming more efficient.

[@andyroobrick-a-brack9355]

Man, I wish my Fe was higher. I either bordernon misanthropic or need validation like no other. I either want and need to help others to the point of smothering, or I get very VERY frustrated when someone asks me to get them a glass of water. It's like a mix of wanting to be of use, and hating to be of use.

[@mshahidee03]

I personally think ISFJ and ESFJ making up 25% of rhe the population is the reason humanity can exist the way it is. They keep the stability and order while being Kind and Compassionate. The highly creative types maybe progresses civilization, but This types are the real ones who ensurees those systems doesn't collapse. Kudos you guys.❤

[@namithakm3679]

This was spot on. My best friend is an isfj. Me, an ENFP, and her compliment each other well.

[@lovewho]

ISFJ - ENFP is a very fun duo! Also thank you ~ Nathan

[@bubby2325]

You sure know your stuff! I'm an ISFJ... Great eyebrows.

[@Pretty_Mess]

Wow! I’ve taken the test four times and got INTP twice and ISFJ twice. 🤣 I don’t know what I truly am but this is a huge eye opener, thanks!

[@dallasj22266]

That’s so sweet. Nice you can allow your grandparents to give for you 😊

[@Roqjoru]

Used as a checklist to help our ISFJ, who had difficulty seeing herself. Thank you

[@eckey03]

I’m an ENFP and I always end up drawn to ISFJs... however I find that around me they do not act the way you expect ISFJs to act. ISFJs around me (particularly ones I’ve tried to date) are super sarcastic and teasing and often very detached, which for a type whose secondary function is Fe, seems counterintuitive? ISFJs, do the ENFPs in your life have the tendency to piss you off lol? I just can’t help falling for y’all 😭💔

[@lisanewcar4157]

I think my 14 year old son is isfj. I literally have never had to punish him. Good grades, always does homework, bathes and brushes teeth without being asked, keeps room clean etc.

[@lisanewcar4157]

Also, all you had to do was frown at him when he was a toddler/young child and he would start crying. Very sensitive, hence no need for additional punishment

[@lovewho]

I guess the halo in the thumbnail was appropriate then! ~ Nathan

[@jbonceu2457]

I am an INTP and I'd like to thank my ISFJ bestfriend for keeping my shit together. She's such a "mom" I never thought I needed in my life lol

[@anavelasquez1916]

The notification came up, and I left everything I was doing to watch this! Finally!!! hahahaha, thank you. -ISFJ

[@lovewho]

I hope it was worth it! ~ Nathan

[@anavelasquez1916]

Love Who yes it was!! 😁

[@Claego]

Holy crap. I was thinking about my cognitive functions and realized I share all of them with ISFJs just in a different order (I'm supposedly an INTP) but then I started looking at my life and the practical things I've done. You just described my ideal way of being pretty much. I've had in-depth conversations where I defended ISFJ characters like Steve Rogers and Clark Kent. I need to look more into this.

[@CerceiLannister]

Thanks for this video. It’s spot on to how I am, except that I am not that detail oriented, your grand parent is a very amazing and caring person. Enjoy that as long as it is possible.

[@lovewho]

Thank you! Yes that's great advice, it's so easy to forget how old they are, both of them are so vital and switched on, they really are a unique/irreplaceable generation! ~ Nathan

[@CerceiLannister]

Yes they are. It’s cute that they are so detail oriented that your second egg is done while you’re eating the first one. A very caring person.

[@guybeauregard]

Brilliant! From an ISFJ

[@vm44844]

The Isfj I know is so meticulous and organised with their possessions and activities, but it comes across so easy and gentle that there is nothing anal retentive about it. Even their art has a detailed systematic design to it. They love drawing mandala patterns. I also notice that for someone in their early 20s how great they are at exhibiting physical self care for themselves, as at an age where I had no clue what that was, they have all the right body lotions, regular sleeping hours and eating patterns, the stylish but practical shoes, the consistantly neat tidy home. I think what I struggle with is how Dom Si users seem to easily get stuck into a rut, that is typically some past issue manifested and not dealt with. It's an age old saying, but I think made for them in particular, that the past does not have to define your future.

[@lovewho]

I love that quote and it's excellent advice for ISFJs to take on board! ~ Nathan

[@tamaraserrano7415]

As an ISFJ…I never realized how I have the right body lotions, regular sleeping hours and eating patterns…my room is neat and tidy…I thought this was something normal that everyone had in their lives. 😅 never noticed that my personality has made me this way…🤣

[@NightCloudI]

​@@tamaraserrano7415It really reasures me that Si isn't my dominant function. 😅

[@daradalla6582]

I started to look at this bcos the 16 personalities site told me im an INTP. but then theres this whole other site tells me im an ISFJ, and im like "bruh- im not even close."

[@popmashups6568]

Me and my older sister are INTP-ISFJ respectively and it's really fascinating to spot where our same four functions come across. We grew up very close since there was no other sibling we could share our spare time at home. I remember seeing as my role model because she was nice and all of our common friends seemed to feel ay ease with her. Later on I started to feel uncomfortable around her. It had nothing to do with her personally but she semmed to be closer to the kind of person that I perceived as "not-worth-of-my-interest". I neglected our bond and I even stopped considering her my friend. Now, years later I recognize she's still my go-to person when I want to feel "at home". We're grown now so we naturally have our own way of think about our experiences as a family. Sometimes I don't like that she seems to kind of assume the way I feel about how I was raised for example, I feel like it makes her uncomfortable when I say that growing up was hard for me cause she didn't experience it like that -she's always got along better with my parents then I have (I'm the only NP on a 3/4 SJ household)-, very much of a rose-colored-lenses attitude towards the past, which I found a little tricky way of looking at ir but anyways. I love her, ISFJs make great friends in general, I wish I could naturally enjoy being as they are

[@eeezzymoney]

I'm an INTP and my wife just found out she's an ISFJ. (I hope that's a good thing after 20 years of marriage). Because you nailed her personality in this video I've decided to subscribe.

[@cathywarneski8738]

I'm an entp married to an isfj. When you spoke about them meeting in the middle you described our realtionship perfectly and why it works so well.

[@maryjennings3534]

As my parents and most of my coworkers are SJ types I really appreciate these videos!

[@rachelafricano7991]

Thanks for the video. It was instrumental in helping me figure out that I am ISFJ even though I scored ENFJ. ENFJ suits me about 85% on paper. But I was living 90% like an INFJ. Then, it occurred to me that if a and b don't fit there must be a c. And, your video made it all clear. I AM c which is ISFJ. I feel better for knowing. Thanks ;-)

[@MeadeSkeltonMusic]

I thought I was an INFP, but I think I could be an ISFJ

[@hannahmathilda7101]

Like you said, ISFJs are very Ti logical. Similarly, type xxxx is good at doing their tertiary function. Wonderful presentation👏🏻, the anecdotes and interesting thoughts attached

[@lovewho]

Thank you! ~ Nathan