etiquette.

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Twitter: nethistorian
Patreon: patreon.com/internethistorian
Twitch: twitch.tv/internethistorian

[@TruffaloBuffalo]

etiquette is what you get for going over the speed limit in France

[@redgarlicbred6228]

Get out

[@Grasslehoff]

This is my favourite comment and I hate it

[@somegirl4631]

Explanation?

[@swilson5320]

I just sent this to my French significant other to ask what was so funny and as soon as I sent it.... I was like ohhhh I get it 😆

[@RomanTheNotARoman]

@@somegirl4631 pronounce it eh-tiquette

[@MegaNightmare4]

Its not an Internet Historian ad unless a woman dies horribly

[@EXM0RT1S]

IH is into snuff hashtag confirmed

[@jstoned88]

69th like

[@charlescabbage2933]

But that ad was a little unexpected.. usually he says "ad time" before he shows an ad

[@gabrieltarikhomar1447]

What a true gamer

[@elsangdorj1406]

Based

[@moahammad1mohammad]

This is just an animated podcast

[@GOATALLUgaming]

@@justotalkalottashit8392 It's the high quality animations

[@ryanhernandez1877]

@@GOATALLUgaming I like it

[@drumstyx6716]

I would seriously listen to a podcast with these two for hours

[@nobodynobody3187]

Animated podcast with style.

[@BrookeRyde]

it honestly keeps my attention better than any podcast could

[@Mycernius_]

I love how we've learned that Sumito and his Fathers relationship dynamic has boiled down to "Son I've Watched Porn Again... Please Help Delete History"

[@krekelyt]

I just love how he tells it to 5.8 million people online

[@Boogaboop]

I love how his parents are so religious they would've punished him judiciously if they caught sumito but his dad does it all the same

[@anewhero1216]

I'm with Sumito on the "pretend to be asleep" opinion, that was my gut reaction whenever a similar thing happened to me as a kid lol

[@bruhmoment5186]

Thats the playing on the ds at night and your mom walks in reaction. It's all muscle memory now

[@TollyKipper]

@@bruhmoment5186 true that.

[@kirillkorte1339]

I actually had one of those accidentally rude moments while I was over at my girlfriend's place. It was New year's, and we were having a drink with her parents who I was meeting for the first time. I have a thing where I snap my fingers when I'm spacing out, well my girlfriend was making us all drinks and I snapped my fingers a few times subconsciously and her father took that as I was telling her to hurry up with the drinks. He's started berating me about snapping at his daughter and nothing I said could convince him that he read the situation wrong. I ended up having to leave the room, safe to say the relationship didn't last much longer after that. Lol

[@Captain_Harper1]

I’m 20 and that’s STILL the reaction

[@thegumonyourshoes]

I uh... yeah I feel that

[@aledburns3005]

"I will exit stage left" *exits stage right*

[@albertcoorey5346]

Aled Burns how does this not have more likes

[@derekmensch3601]

See the thing is, you are on the stage.

[@2thinkcritically]

Yup, I was just about to say the same thing XD

[@anneaunyme]

garden side

[@tobi0244]

This comment is the same as one 4 hours older but has more like than the other one

[@fritzophrenia3146]

I remember one time I was on a date in a VERY nice restaurant with my girlfriend at the time, and after we had gotten our food the waiter does the classic "How is everything?" routing, to which we said oh yeah, its excellent, because it was. The night goes on, and I think to mention that it's funny that waiters ask that all the time, because I would never be like "Wow this steak is shit!". What I didn't realize was that the waiter had walked up behind me in such a way that he probably only heard that I was saying the steak was shit. My girlfriend said that his face just went a little pale and he came over and asked if everything was still ok, a little nervously this time, and I was like oh hell yeah, this steak is great, because obviously I didn't pick up on things until later. He kinda gives me a lukewarm affirmation and walks off, and things are really weird for the rest of the night To top it all off we couldn't finish the whole meal, so we took some in a box and waited in the entryway for our uber. Now that night it was very, very rainy so when the uber comes we run out and jump in, forgetting that we had left the meal in the restaurant! So somewhere out there is a waiter who thinks I called the food shit, lied to his face, didn't even finish the meal, then left it on a table by the front door. I'm so sorry, anonymous waiter man

[@barrelbarry9940]

Eh, you're fine; patrons forget their boxes all the time. The situation doesn't sound that bad at all. Sure, it's a little embarrassing when someone overhears your blunt criticism; that sucks. I think everyone feels you there. But you were kind to the guy when asked; you sound like a good dude. I'unno, that situation just sounds a win-win to me. The waiter got honest feedback to report to his boss. Valuable. But he got it from a patron who, when pressed, didn't want to cause any trouble and instead chose to protect the server's feelings.

[@pjcanfield8]

@@barrelbarry9940 Fr. And as long he tipped decent he's good. As a waiter, anyone who tips good is cool to me because really it's just about money at the end of the day.

[@seanmilliken4866]

What poor etiquette. How very middle class of you to do that. However, it was very high class to say this and apologise to that poor waiter. So if you were to ask me how you are doing now. To that i would say "fair to middlin"

[@andersonrobotics5608]

i mean he's not the chef and you were polite it shouldnt be a big deal, waiters probably see far worse regularly

[@advaithbala3087]

This sounds like a curb episode

[@JohnSmith-kb4re]

Putting a router in front of a baby's face and questioning people's double standards with 5G has heavy Diogenes energy, I love it

[@aidanpeterson7575]

Literally I went to work after watching this video and sumito saying “I don’t think anyone would make a big deal out of the first drink” I spilled a drink on myself and a little sprayed onto a woman’s shoulder. The manager then apologized and she asked for her food to be free. Including the whole table. This was a table of 8 people. So no sumito, there are assholes out there.

[@Cybrisk]

Well the difference is Sumito is a man and you spilled the drink on a woman

[@jadthecat387]

@@Cybrisk women hahaha ☕️

[@Unga_Bunga]

Well did you afterwards spill drinks on the rest of the 7 schmuks/hobos, so they could get their free meals? For reals tho, if someone is okay with giving up the rest of their dignity and making a scene like that for some free food, I would just pay for them and offer to give them some money for even more meals later on. They have to be doing really bad in live if they're willing to do that, poor things.

[@MentalUnion]

You should have taken her to Suplex City, I'm talking Zangief SPD for that level of churlishness.

[@someone-wo5nu]

@@Cybrisk woman dont deserve extra privilages just because of their lack of a peepee

[@mr.dakkadakka2845]

NordVPN mans superpower is not being arrested immediately.

[@rurilavulpe7469]

Sounds a bit too over powered but awesome.

[@whostoleopinionayted]

2nd. Morgan Freeman

[@norro_00]

Why use nord vpn when you can just watch cuties on Netflix legally

[@Shotgun979]

I'm surprised they pay for these just of how fucking bonkers his ads have gotten I love it

[@gutsuthemasterchef]

Every time he comits a new crime, the cops takes a little longer to reach him. It's like upside down GTA.

[@YouaNumbahOneRacist]

"If someone spills a drink on you, make an effort to attend the funeral" sounds pretty damn ominous.

[@computr166]

getting away with murder

[@drakkenmensch]

Finally advice I can use in the real world!

[@Username-1939t9]

your saying that like it doesn't happen

[@johnbacon4997]

@Mialisus Not to be that guy on the internet but a Hemorrhage is the term from a bleed, so a bleeding bleed is what you said.

[@stephenwalsh2476]

@Mialisus my brain has always been smooth

[@Vladimir_4757]

As a former stocker for a grocery store there is nothing more infuriating than something leaving a buggy slap ass full of produce, meat and ice cream in the middle of the middle of the isle.

[@cloroxusthestainlessone4324]

Running off from the till to get more stuff and not coming back for 10 minutes with a que and not being allowed to lay away

[@somejock4396]

Do people just abandon buggies in the supermarket? Where do they put their babies?

[@organicleaf]

@@somejock4396 in the hot car

[@kielbasamage]

I had no choice but to reply, because a buggy slap ass sounds like something vile you do to someone in a city you never intend to pass through again.

[@Vladimir_4757]

I’m dying this is hilarious

[@parisolivarious]

The grocery store bit was so funny. “You can look into other people’s carts and take what you want.” Holy shit lmao

[@randomcatmeow1394]

Can you just imagine staring someone dead in the eyes and taking a pack of hotdogs directly from their cart lmao

[@masterzoroark6664]

I tell you what- I do get noided that someone might do that to me. Like, I just took a last kind of flavour that was one the shelf and I feel that someone might get disgruntled and try to browse through what is in my cart and pull out the things I wanted to buy. And it's not like, illegal, but i would be miffed as hell

[@KaeYoss]

German comedian Jürgen von der Lippe has a skit about that very thing, as part of how shopping is great anger management. "You can just take something out of their cart and see how people react. Like a bag of flour 'THAT IS MY FLOUR!!' 'Oh, you already paid for it?' 'NO, BUT IT'S MY CART!' 'Oh, you think you bought it with that 1DM you put into it?'" He also suggests rearranging stuff. Like taking tampons and putting them in the freezer. Or you can bring frozen tampons from home and put them on the shelf - and hope they'll be bought quickly.

[@Sonichero151]

That's technically trolly robbing.

[@KaeYoss]

@@Sonichero151 But what if you take their baby out and put it in your cart?

[@chickensquishy123]

In terms of embarrassing/rude things that we've done... The worst for me has to be the time I laughed at something my son had done while stood in a circle of my husband's family members, who were discussing the recent death of someone they all knew. My loud uproarious laughter filled the air while my mother in law said "yeah towards the end his lungs filled up with fluid and he couldn't breathe, it was awful". It took me a moment to realise why everyone was glaring at me. To make matters worse the situation was so embarrassing and absurd that I just ended up laughing more while trying to explain myself. 50/50 on whether they believed me or to this day think I'm a sick fuck.

[@manooxi327]

godzilla had a stroke

[@imapigeonyoupeasant1489]

@@manooxi327 reading that

[@Trollensky]

Incredible

[@edgarbanuelos6472]

I don't know how I'd react to that. I guess this is what you call a bruh moment.

[@albingrahn5576]

i did something similar at school once. it was at a history lesson. i was just spacing out and didn't pay attention to the teacher talking, and out of the blue i just thought of some dumb joke i had heard a couple of days before and gave a little chuckle. i noticed the teacher suddenly stopped talking so i snapped back to reality, where i see the teacher and all of my classmates stare at me with a concerned look, with a powerpoint with horrible pictures of the victims of hiroshima in the background. due to the absurdity of the situation i started laughing even more, and after that everyone though i was a psychopath

[@almostthepointofnoreturn9403]

The waiter thing could literally be a comedy sketch.

[@thegodofimagination]

They literally made a comedy sketch of it just using images. Basically large version of what i do in my thunbnails

[@myloglaisek5718]

The dirty fork sketch by monty python is similar in concept

[@andrejh.6335]

Pretty much just Dear Sister (The Shooting)

[@peter-peterpumpkineater4982]

Like something you would see on SNL

[@edgarbanuelos6472]

The whole thing sounds like it could be a cartoon

[@robincdyer]

As far as the "where do I look" part, I remember getting my teeth cleaned at the dentist when I was young, and the hygienist had the most reflective glasses on where I could see the reflection of everything she was doing in my mouth. I found it fascinating and watched the reflection the entire time she cleaned my teeth, but I thought about it afterwards what it must have looked like to her. She must have thought I was just staring into her eyes for the entire hour she was cleaning my teeth 🤣😳

[@psychopompous489]

Romantic

[@psoodoe9897]

Porn Intro

[@marsh6714]

i look at the patients eyes when i assist lol, but eventually theyre just a mouth :)

[@cptteacosy6158]

I just close my eyes, bc like, WHERE TF DO YOU ACTUALLY LOOK IN THAT SITCH

[@arvind.surwase]

​@@cptteacosy6158nah closing your eyes.makes the teeth hurt more

[@tylerryan713]

Sumito impression of 'the noise your dad makes when you catch him doing shit he told you not to' is so accurate and fuggin kills me everytime and I can't understand why.

[@ReallyDazed]

I had someone grab an apple from my cart, out of its bag i had rolled up. I told them "whoa, what are you doing?" and they responded "oh, I thought it was ok". As everyone around us is confused why she did that -- she attempts to put back the apple and i'm like "no, what?.. you touched it, you keep it now". She looks at me with a confused look and everyone around me is even more confused why she is confused. Weirdest experience of etiquette I've had so far.

[@befuddlingvisage5427]

Dude that was an alien

[@thedumbdog1964]

Encountered an alien

[@yadsewnde8699]

100% an alien

[@intelligencecube6752]

Yeah. We haven't really taught them how to function in society yet, so when they escaped last month we were a bit worried.

[@ReallyDazed]

@@intelligencecube6752 Please take her back before she gets into someones car as they are backing out of the parking lot because the car is still unlocked at that point.

[@MrPatters]

Bounced on my boy's Sundance Reject to this.

[@TetraTime]

Nice

[@jaythehuman2552]

Well, the sundance festival doesn't seem like much of an achievement anymore; considering what one of the co founder's of sundance has been charged with...

[@Gorrash]

Big boy salvia Seal 🤣

[@fashbasher2120]

@jou taama They allowed more and more commercial movies into a festival originally based on celebrating and uplifting independent auteurs. Absolutely criminal.

[@madmanmortonyt4890]

Hey, have you heard about Harold Camping?

[@calebrobbins6406]

"So is he the submissive one?" "It's not--so--they--they--" [smash cut to next scene]

[@deleon0927]

lmaoo

[@KaeYoss]

"Why do I need to hold your left hand? It's gross" "You didn't find it gross when it was up to the elbow inside you!"

[@JimmyBoy9878]

@@KaeYoss bruh

[@orangeswirl3280]

@@KaeYoss hold up

[@scj6693]

18:00

[@tofejaajefot2777]

I once spilled two drinks on one guy and the second wasnt even for that table but I was so focused on the first time that I just went there again and spilled it again.

[@leon6777]

Were they mad?

[@javsandarts]

Did you... Died?

[@joseangelmonterroza9364]

This was commented by the last person he served, this guy's last wish was to have his story told on the Internet through a KZbin comment

[@Wingedmagician]

I feel like he’d keep making Nord VPN ads even if they stopped paying him

[@loganreed9340]

I think they already stopped paying him for these but he still makes them by habit

[@superchroma]

They would just get more farcical, questionably endorsive and gritty I guess.

[@colesweed]

I'm pretty sure they stopped paying him after losing sponsorship speedrun any%

[@bartholomewdan]

These are the only sponsor segments I actively look forward to.

[@majonnaise4926]

They probably did like half a year ago

[@DrunkenSquirrel2]

To this day, Sumito's neighbour is still trying to convince his wife he wasn't the one who ordered the film.

[@Hashslingingslasher-]

hahaha yeah, little shit

[@JohanFroloff81]

Why would they have xxx pay per view? anyway. Is that normal In the US?

[@lastword8783]

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@CaptainCaterpillars]

Johan Froloff - It used to be very common in the early to mid 2000’s. HBO & Showtime both had a specific time they would show them and when on demand came around, you could chose from quite a few. There was even a PlayBoy channel that was PPV.

[@StrazdasLT]

yeah they can easily tell by the order date so no convincing is needed.

[@TransformersBoss]

It would be ironic if, when Sumito’s dad walked in and caught him watching adult material on the computer, he was only walking in there to ask Sumito how to clear his own search history

[@JimmyBoy9878]

How is that ironic?

[@katiemorison7969]

​@@JimmyBoy9878Because the thing that got Summertoe caught was Mr. Summertoe doing the same thing bro 💀

[@SpartanBrix]

I find it fascinating how this dude’s editor can just only use PNGs and stock images, and it’s still of the highest production quality.

[@htpkey]

I think it's the great storytelling. This channel shows how much of a difference that makes. Good audio is more important than HD video.

[@mythos951]

I’m worried it’s inevitable that all of internet historian’s ads are going to join together to make a better avengers.

[@ryansweet3640]

I’m not worried. I’m hopeful.

[@VeeBunnyEars]

He talked about it during the Witcher 3 livestream, if like 4 companies agree to it, he can definitely pull off an ad cinematic universe.

[@YourPalHDee]

Why would that evoke the feeling "worried"?

[@CurtisAqw]

@@VeeBunnyEars hi there

[@knightofelm9409]

no you aren't

[@wackycreature9465]

I bet internet historians real face is just a stock image

[@Warmaka]

Always has been...

[@SvendleBerries]

Complete with a watermark from the editing software his parents used because they never bought the full version.

[@TacticalFriedChicken]

he is the stock image

[@collinsgichuhi8255]

Made with Mematic

[@collinsgichuhi8255]

Made with Mematic

[@gabrielnunez3371]

Fun fact: while "intent to buy" does not make the item your possession, it does have some additional legal implications (since the seller is also willing to sell to you, a third party is interfering)

[@ernestomejia8242]

Damn it I was really looking forward to taking someone else’s trolley

[@baronvonbeandip]

There is no exchange of consideration, a firm offer without an stated buyer, no tender of payment or receipt. Hell, you really haven't even gotten mutual assent cause the cart's contents keep changing. Chances are, you'd get away with this either cause the sales contract doesn't exist or because there's a ton of critical flaws in it.

[@Sonichero151]

@@baronvonbeandip tell that to the people that were using bots to buy up all the PS5s..........

[@randomknowledgeperson2872]

i love how it went from “what if your waiter spills your drink on you twice” to “you’re at the wake for the waiter and his wife spills a drink on your for the 5th time” in about 2 minutes

[@Blakemartn]

Sumito: I'd still pretend to be asleep. Sumito rolls for luck.

[@SumitoMedia]

I roll a 2. Does that hit?

[@Mutantvine]

@@SumitoMedia A critical miss! You accidentally backflip off of the couch onto a pile of knives and are stabbed in the jugular.

[@tikhoav3315]

Bro, thats clearly a charisma roll.

[@Pikaton659]

@@tikhoav3315 I agree. Gaslighting your parents is significantly more charisma based than luck based.

[@blunderbus2695]

Roll a deception check.

[@mdukasa]

This video must be protected from Surrito's Mom, at all costs.

[@Robin-jk6wz]

Just wanted to to remind you how many likes you have. Nice going, bud.

[@mdukasa]

@@Robin-jk6wz Thanks for the reminder, that's ALOT of likes!

[@YouaNumbahOneRacist]

Ah yes, good ol' SuRRito.

[@tetryst]

@@YouaNumbahOneRacist he's like a surro but smaller

[@YouaNumbahOneRacist]

@@tetryst Ay Carumba.

[@FoolAnonymous]

The first day at a server job I had I was carrying a tray of 8 glasses of water and while handing out the waters I lost my balance and every single one of the glasses tipped over and spilled all over the old grandma who was wearing a thin summer dress. Completely soaking her in ice water. I Will remember that day for the rest of my life.

[@FidoZip1988]

Hahaha oh my god I feel so bad for you and for her, I have also work in service and I never droped anything thank god

[@Tibasu]

Sumito explaining how he will pretend to be asleep even after being caught awake is way too funny to me for some reason

[@masswarcrimegaming6646]

If internet historian did a face reveal I would be so confused the stock image guy is literally what I think he looks like

[@Tony36271]

I basically just assumed that Harold is his alter ego, but plays a character when he’s on stage and in interviews.

[@Altzar2011]

IKR DAMMIT

[@ldmt1995]

It fits his voice so well!

[@bubonicduck1262]

What if he actually is that guy?

[@log6n]

I hope he doesn’t ngl

[@onatdolekoglu]

etiquette means price tag in Turkish. I don't know what this information will do for you.

[@mr.peanutbutter6969]

Cockroachs speak words?

[@AKIRA-cf6nv]

bruh

[@processinginformation]

i suppose there's always a price to pay

[@albert44]

In Spanish, you use etiqueta for both etiquette and price tag

[@JamesSmith-to3kl]

Boop

[@kato2395]

It's amazing how interesting a chat between two good friends can be

[@hawkboys2465]

19:16 I've been trying to read that and make sense of that for 2 or 3 minutes

[@ihavetowait90daystochangem67]

Internet Historian is carrying 2020 so hard that’ll break his back

[@ddobrevs]

@Scott McGrath too bad the spilled water is going to rust it

[@ZekeGraal]

Internet Historian and DankPods are the hero Aussies of 2020.

[@chaseharrison5469]

LeftyLimbo what if he got galvanized steel in his back? Or stainless? Hhhmmmm? He could trip on a cart full of Netty Pots filled with hot salt water and be oxidationless and have clean sinuses?!?!

[@Danilego]

Internet Historian is like a third waiter who delivered the drink perfectly and healed the other 2 waiters

[@hidethepainharold4256]

I see you frickin everywhere.

[@97Corvi]

Sumito dads: "you are not going to tell your mom, right ?" Sumito: "Clearly not dad !!!" Still Sumito: *Proceede to tell the story the entire internet*

[@nhansgoofyvideos7581]

We now shall protect his secrets from his wife.

[@jaydot6785]

@@nhansgoofyvideos7581 im gonna tell her

[@Efishrocket102]

@@jaydot6785 noooooooooo!

[@Post-ModernCzechoslovakianWar]

@@jaydot6785 Absolute Savage!

[@RogerDeelaw]

Fun Fact: In Germany it is against the law to take stuff from other people shopping carts.

[@Hostefar]

literally 1984

[@myselfawesomedude1053]

My dad got a “buy one get one free” deal on a packet of sausages in Russia. They literally gave him a single extra sausage.

[@nutman2353]

Whenever this guy reveals his face, nobody will ever believe him.

[@Astorath_the_Grim]

It's made by Hide the Pain Harold.

[@lydiam95]

@@ian-gordon sauce

[@joseph6270]

@@ian-gordon I sincerely doubt, I thought he wanted to remain anonymous?

[@GoopyGoblins]

its been Greg Heffley all along

[@maeam]

Ikr

[@tomrichardson129]

The fact that after internet historian left, Sumito didn't immediately get pay-per-view on the TV, greatly upset me

[@cyrus2395]

Same, and I thought when IH came back, he was gonna pretend to be sleeping

[@TemmiePlays]

Had the same thought

[@lucafacchinetti2522]

Well he said he leaned his lesson

[@Soul-OnFire]

What did i miss what lesson was learned heeeeelp

[@sidbell929]

@@cyrus2395 I thought he was going to subvert expectations and say "uh er, just watching porn"

[@breadpilled2587]

I remember teaching my younger brother how to delete internet history. my mom had seen it but didn't want to embarrass him, so she asked me to tell him like I saw it. Ah, memories.

[@sugarcombfilms3467]

I'll be honest, I skipped this video when I saw it come out, and I don't know why. I'm now two minutes in and I'm having trouble keeping myself from disrupting my neighbors because I'm laughing so hard. The chemistry you two have when just talking about stuff is absolutely gold.

[@Stravalnak]

**Internet Historian on etiquette** Expectation: Let’s start with the pinky while drinking tea. Reality: dead waiters

[@thejason755]

Did you really expect anything less?

[@icantthinkofausername2605]

Fuck I didn't even realise

[@Devian0666]

Thinking this has to be a gypsy curse or something.

[@wacksnack157]

"don't tell your mom" *tells the internet

[@xeroxsos3659]

Lmao just realized that too. Thousands of strangers will now know his dad as that guy who got caught watching porn by his son

[@LocalGuardsman]

Xerox Sos Imagine his mom watching this video. “Oh look it is my beloved son, Sumit- HE DID WHAT?!”

[@wacksnack157]

@@LocalGuardsman dad: (◎_◎;)

[@MikeVDrumming]

you have, hands down, the best ads on KZbin. You either have a fuck off bank account or you're blackmailing your sponsors. Never change.

[@invincibledrank460]

Jessica Robins: This may sound odd, but would you come to his funeral? Sumito: *FUCK NO*

[@kira5043]

i refuse to use nordvpn until i get %1 more off

[@xXDimistreoXx]

I require pennies from heaven

[@faunsolo]

One time I was at a wedding as a bridesmaid, and one of the other bridesmaid's mom's came up to say hi. She hugged me with the one arm she also happened to be holding a glass of red wine, and half of the glass went down the back of my dress. Did I say anything? No. ETIQUETTE. It was just lucky the dress was a merlot colour.

[@av3stube480]

I love the fact that both of the neighbours Sumito was plant sitting for were Pyrocynical.

[@jaylenmark3895]

Sumito: watches film with slight intimate scene Sumito's father: *I smell a heretic nearby*

[@SammyDoesAThingYT]

*grabs the shotgun*

[@mmyees1167]

Also Sumito's dad: watches porn on the living room tv

[@allesarfint]

@@mmyees1167 That's just heretics stuff research, in case something heretic happened.

[@the-letter_s]

@@allesarfint IT'S HERESY STUDIES, I SWEAR

[@nemidoonam6963]

iSam Ramirez how did nobody get this?

[@kingdave4927]

I swear, the only bad part of Historian’s videos is that they end at some point. But then you go and rewatch his old videos

[@The_Mimewar]

The cadence of speech makes it funny for some reason. Agreed.

[@unclecreepy4185]

I was once at a friend’s apartment hanging out. His wife wasn’t there. We’re just watching tv and he had to leave for some reason, but he was going to be right back. So I was just just on the couch watching tv waiting for him. Well, I noticed he left his walk-in closet light on in his bedroom. So, being courteous I went to turn off the light. I noticed there was a scale at the end of the closet, so I went to weigh myself. Well, as I’m weighing myself, I hear the front door open, so I start to leave the closet and it’s my friend’s wife who has come home and her friend was with her and they watch me come out of her closet. So I’m nervously like “the light was on, so I went to turn it off.” But the scale distracted me, so I never turned the light off. So now I look like some sort of lying perv who’s in her apartment all alone.

[@ZeranZeran]

Sumito seems like a good son, and trustworthy person.

[@enclave2k1]

I call my room the Nord hole too.

[@crustman5982]

I call my room the crying zone

[@Soul-OnFire]

My room is off limits and my dog will bite you for some reason if you get too close to the bed...

[@Crispman_777]

@@crustman5982 I call my room Jeff

[@chicken8664]

Hans Moleman Porn*

[@davidrafael1769]

for me, it's the cum zone

[@captainseasick6663]

The idea of clumsy waiters being locked into a vicious cycle of spilling and replacing drinks until they hurt themselves trying to do it sounds like either a Monty Python or a Fawlty Towers skit

[@darkhorseman90]

Feels like something one would think any time they see John Cleese out of nowhere

[@ethandew1768]

Or Airplane

[@JimmyBoy9878]

MANWEL!

[@mustard4762]

Sounds something out of Spongebob ngl

[@tommytomthms5]

I would pay to get into that restaurant like concert tickets wait in a que tell the scalpers to get bent. straight up best dinner and a show idea ever. I would be laughing so hard.

[@patrickwilliamson29]

14:11 "It's like loud and a restaurant" - Restaurants in Australia are ridiculously loud because Australians don't know how not to shout when talking

[@kryptico2240]

It just feels like these two just riff off of each other so effortlessly

[@thewhyworld7450]

I can’t tell if NordVPN is still the sponsor or if NordVPN man is just part of the channel now.

[@MPHJackson7]

Internet Historian sponsors them

[@dudeamazingjoe8399]

MPHJackson7 r/woooosh

[@wilkson1300]

@@dudeamazingjoe8399 r/whoooosh

[@dudeamazingjoe8399]

wilksonick yeah prob, wasn’t sure based on phrasing

[@Ribbons0121R121]

nordvpn man is credit to channel

[@matthewlowe1120]

My uncle has a hood in his closet that looks just like the one the VPN man is wearing.

[@xXDimistreoXx]

Someone give this poor man a like he worked hard on this

[@matthewlowe1120]

@@xXDimistreoXx Someone give this poor man a like he worked so hard on this.

[@dyslexicbatnam1350]

@@matthewlowe1120 Someone give this poor man a like he worked so hard on this

[@slowburgundyy574]

My local police officer has a hood in his closet that looks just like the one the VPN man is wearing.

[@melonie_peppers]

Concerning...

[@AttentionDeficitGuy]

"As I low-budget animate myself over to stage left" *proceeds to low-budget animate over to stage right*

[@DarkCheezus]

When i was a teenager, myself and 3 friends were out to supper. We were talking and having a good time when umprompted the waiter came up, put his hands on two of my friends shoulders and said "you know, its customary to leave a tip when you enjoy your meal in proper society" then looked at us annoyed and left. We were like 5 bites into our meals and have no idea where any of that came from. Obviously we left no tip after that but its been more than 16 years and still can't figure it out.

[@murilorosa6707]

Internet Historian has the best voice to tell literally anything

[@lyleabner2475]

I could listen to him talk about pets for hours. He could talk about the history of underwear and I'd still watch it

[@lokikinch]

Internet Historian and Mr. Creeps, highkey best voices on KZbin change my mind

[@UserName-vv1ws]

He’s really a she using a voice changer, it’s confusing af

[@lyleabner2475]

@@UserName-vv1ws that can't be true

[@henrikbuchholz1983]

@@lyleabner2475 lol

[@goaty7766]

This is an international event

[@rabies5179]

He's posted

[@theconductoresplin8092]

Grabbing a beer

[@marcroy5089]

Yes

[@arniesteelbone7084]

H6

[@ITheCorinthianI]

True

[@Shala_Boi]

The more I stare at IH's persona, the more I see him as my graphic design professor.

[@ThePaulP]

1.5 years late but that 5th drink spill got me by surprise and I almost died laughing

[@smugly6793]

“If someone spills a drink on you...make an effort and attend the funeral” Oh ok then

[@florallychaotic]

This has the same energy as "you could poor soup on my lap and I'd apologize"

[@KaeYoss]

"If someone spills a drink on you and you have him killed by your goons, of course you attend the funeral. This is old world courteousness!"

[@FondueTheGoober]

They spill a drink on you then make an effort to kill them then attend thier funeral and then profit

[@gaius100bc]

"If you ever get a drink spilled on you, make an effort and attend their funeral." - A fine advice how to deal with all kinds of unfortunate life experiences.

[@williwnl6287]

i scrolled past this comment right as he said that

[@Ribbons0121R121]

its somehow a good metaphore even out of context thank you

[@cymes82]

The absolute Richard-move while shopping is taking the stuff from the freezer and leaving it at a random place.

[@jdalbiac]

A whole bit about the waiter spilling drinks on you and then going to his funeral sounds like an episode of Louie.

[@ZachKeogh]

1. Do you leave a tip before leaving the restaurant? 2. If so, do you also tip with wife at the funeral?

[@annadengler2177]

yes, usually i leave a small rodent next to the coffin

[@leaveowits]

Tip is included in the bill

[@TheMajesticMirage]

sure, you should tip the wife since her husband ain't gonna tip her anymore....

[@mattm6720]

I guess you could give her your tip, she'll need cheering up

[@TheRealGuywithoutaMustache]

I feel sorry for those waiters who died for our entertainment

[@JMdJ2001]

Hopefully someone will reply to you and be like: "oH iTs YoU i SeE yOu EvErYwHeRe DaMn" It's not me, you can guarantee that.

[@freezeboy13]

@@JMdJ2001 it's less of he's everywhere someone like him is

[@liam4397]

I'm a big fan.

[@theplaylistcollector2910]

I do for the first one

[@ledfloyd9035]

He's definitely a fed bois

[@jansenart0]

I've never laughed so hard at anything on KZbin... the thought of a waiter tripping over a body to deliver a fourth drink...

[@DREAM05203]

10:21 I can’t I just can’t hold it anymore 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@MattGarZero]

I got the alert for this yesterday, but I'm watching it today because you don't dictate my viewing habits.

[@white6505]

its not a matter of IF, but of WHEN.

[@shariel9731]

I believe you

[@ThatAwesomeUsername]

You go girl

[@CarbonDioxide.]

go you

[@tijmen131]

For me it's today

[@sour_milk_carton9930]

Imagine being triplets working at the same restaurant, but only one of you is the manager.

[@jeffreysian-salas1689]

The amount of salty karens would be unreal XD

[@dreska255]

@@jeffreysian-salas1689 "The Big Restaurants are using clones of themselves to take advantage of the customers and reduce the employment rate." I can only imagine

[@ldmt1995]

And your dad was the owner at that point you stopped buying the whole "I love you all equally" crap.

[@dreska255]

@Roger Dodger Karen logic, not mine \,('~' )√. But yeah, when you think about it, if you treat your clones as actual people then it could work like that

[@CaptainButtCheeks]

This series is the pinnacle of "highbrow youtube" and I'm honored to be here

[@Its_Me_Romano]

Parents saying no to everything you hold close to their baby is a instinct that roots back to our monkey brains

[@JustinY.]

I was half expecting internet comment etiquette to be the prime focus of the video for some reason

[@phillipec]

I think we all checked to see if it was the real Justin Y.

[@ikejime77]

Bounced on my boy’s comment to this

[@phillipec]

Pog

[@lydiam95]

I was hoping that was going to be it

[@landonkinzer4327]

Goddammit Justin

[@oceanhobo6890]

I feel like Historian was a mad DM at a D&D game “they have already seen you awake” “ya ya I get that” “They saw you watching it” “Ya I’d still pretend to be asleep” .....

[@minecraftshieldworshiper7776]

If you liked that part, you should check out his video on Internet Historian: Live where he shows an unreleased video of him putting Sumito in a generic horror movie scenario where Sumito tries to do things logically.

[@golemgolden4670]

Nat 20 persuasion.

[@gusbabiski]

@@minecraftshieldworshiper7776 do you have the link to that?

[@minecraftshieldworshiper7776]

@@gusbabiski Unfortunately, it seems that this channel doesn't allow links in comments. It should be easy enough to search for "internet historian live" and look for the video.

[@loonylenny]

that is a DnD scenario lol

[@mattb6646]

The drink spilling scenario just sounds like an episode of Seinfeld that was never shot

[@larrylentini5688]

That waiter bit would be a perfect impractical jokers punishment

[@nehemz432]

"Holding two spoon near a baby's head." ＩＳ　ＴＨＡＴ　Ａ　ＣＨＡＬＬＥＮＧＥ？

[@Confusion.and.Delay...]

This can be done in the UK with a special loicense.

[@aajambles137]

in the words of alex jones, COnSumE ThE ChILD

[@ChamChamRealSmooth]

pull a fucking mega alakazam

[@jameshughes3014]

I love how he posits that you 'could' leave a full shopping cart and walk off, or just pull one berry out of a package.. as if that were ridiculous. This man has never been to a Walmart in the states.

[@saea8677]

True! I've seen people straight up take a handful of candy from a container and eat them, or opening boxes, and that's pretty mild for Walmart 😂

[@BGpilot419]

I dated someone who would open a package of food they got off the shelf and eat some while shopping. Their logic was “I going to buy it and eat it anyway so why not now.”

[@mariothingy]

@@BGpilot419 I've done that before while desperately hungry. the cashier doesn't get paid enough to care anyway

[@dreska255]

I've seen someone sprayed cans of air freshener and then just left like she hadn't just released a litre of very pungent chemicals into the surrounding air

[@Gatorade69]

@@BGpilot419 I've done that before but in extreme circumstances. Both time I was sick. Opened some Ibuprofen and then opened a ginger ale and was sipping on it while shopping. Still paid for them. I don' think I would open food and eat it though.

[@jirokoshibailey2052]

From doing camping through my younger years, too often I've had a "knock" on my tent at 1am

[@Some__Guy]

6:34 There's nothing more threatening to a kid than ANGRY dad jokes.

[@genrija8596]

can we briefly talk about random sex scenes in movies? like, why? its not long or graphic enough to become aroused by. They're just thrown in there to embarrass you if you're watching the movies with friends or worse; family.

[@pphead9960]

honestly its not really embarrassing with friends because you can just laugh at it and make the mandatory "me need bathroom joke"

[@rgderen88]

Is this some sort of long stamina peasant joke I'm too rich and hair triggered to understand?

[@combativeThinker]

Hollywood is full of degenerates who love nothing more than to sexualize children through media and strip them of their innocence.

[@SilverShadow02]

I find it really irritating, especially when it's not necessary to the plot. The audience is just supposed to accept that every protagonist is a degenerate and freely f***s anyone remotely attractive that they spend more than five minutes with.

[@finnkillen6554]

i always skip them and i find them extremely inconvenient

[@Falicity345]

Internet Historian is one of the few KZbinrs who can get away with watermarks on photoshopped stock images and it NOT being distracting

[@youraverageplayer4725]

It just makes them better

[@lordmoncef5494]

Him and the spiffing britt

[@ark14700]

wait, there's watermarks?

[@garpogods8323]

Its now part of the channel's aesthetic

[@RazorRevenge]

Sumito, you have no idea what you did to that couple. I bet the woman was 100% sure her husband ordered it and doesn't believe him when he said he didn't. I also remember getting my hair cut once and HATED it. I was so upset. I told the woman I wanted to keep as much length as possible but I wanted layers put in my hair. Seems pretty simple right? She completely fucked up my hair and while I was getting ready to pay my mom noticed the look on my face and made me tell them that I didn't like it and they sat me back down to go again and made it even worse. I was not happy but of course I lied and played it off. As soon as I sat down in the car I busted into tears. Mom took me home and cut about six inches off my hair to 'fix' it.

[@JuMiKu]

I don't get why a married couple would be upset if one of them watched adult films? Maybe a cultural thing, but it's just a movie. I can totally understand being angry at the kid for ordering pricy stuff, but the husband? Nah. Weird, unless it gets totally out of hand. I felt really bad for your younger self. Many people don't have the hair for layers, but some hairstylists insist on putting them into everyone's hair/won't tell anyone beforehand.

[@imscaredandconfused]

she would just see the date on the receipt tho

[@oren1305]

@@JuMiKu Many people, I think especially women, see their partners watching porn as cheating, emotionally or sexually. I don't necessarily see it as an issue unless you're being sneaky about it or watching something illegal. I can see why some people might be hurt by it though, ie; your partner makes you feel less attractive than the people they're watching, etc. Also, many cultures still see masterbation or watching sexual films to be sinful. I mean, Indonesia is trying to pass legislation to make premarital sex illegal...

[@Thesaurcery4U2C]

@@JuMiKu Definitely cultural. Everyone I know, for the most part, would have upset wives if their husband were looking at prn. It's an idea of sexual desire for another woman, along the lines of, you are not satisfied with them. Both my ex-wifes felt this way. It was only after our divorce could i tell them both truly, how moronic I believed their thought on this was. It didn't change their minds about it, but it was nice to belittle their views about it, without suffering any consequences

[@KrahzduulTheObliterator]

Gotta love the D&D session in the beginning there.

[@kyletokarchick8685]

At the end, when Sumito is going “Alright, he’s phased through the floor, coast is clear.” I thought he was gonna say “Alright, adult film time.”

[@xtyayotx93]

I thought he was gonna fake sleep lmao

[@smeeer5774]

Did you know that the ducks at parks are free

[@smeeer5774]

You can just grab them

[@konradvonschnitzeldorf6506]

@@smeeer5774 the fact that this is two comments adds to the expirience.

[@annadengler2177]

yea i have a large collection

[@tijmen131]

So are the kids

[@smeeer5774]

@@tijmen131 Ohh wow never thought of that! Might grab myself one this weekend

[@ericmathis4309]

lol, when I was in undergrad I used to stay in my dad's apartment over the summer. Anyway, one morning i wake up to a very familiar drum-centric theme playing from the chair next to me. I texted him later that day and was like 'Hey, you're allowed to do that, just do it in the bathroom like everybody else,' and he was surprisingly chill with that

[@JonLikes2Jam]

the 2 spoons get me every time

[@phillipec]

Internet historian should make a whole video that is disguised as a Nord VPN ad

[@GGorsty]

Holy shahck, I would like to see that - just to see how that would be pulled through!

[@creeperlamoureux]

@@GGorsty hecc yea, maybe he'd make a full on nord vpn ad cinematic universe that connects all of his previous ads together

[@BirdieImagineeBCH]

Yes would like that actually

[@dreska255]

But when the ad break comes up, it was actually sponsored by honey

[@dravenocklost4253]

Probably if he would have ever do a video on the riots

[@kokki1452]

nordvpn isn't an ad anymore. it's evolved as a part of the cinematic universe.

[@Wulfeylol]

Just like shadowman

[@stevenlockhart9255]

All I'm saying is it's overpriced as hell if they have that much money to advertise lol

[@RyzawaVT]

Somito is a homie to his father, the absolute etiquette of this lad!

[@sirrickardjameses]

I've been binging all of IH's videos and yesterday he narrated one of my dreams. I've achieved peak existence