Intimate Conversations | 4 Skills to Build Emotional Intimacy

[@ziggytonumaa]

I just realized i once had an intimate conversation with a complete stranger. I was in a big city for the first time, all by myself and it had dawned on my how big this place really is, how i dont know anybody here, how noone would care if i disappeared and that feeling was overwhelming me. All of this was sinking in as i sat in a shared hostel kitchen, a girl walked in, said hi and after a few minutes of talking something random she asks how i was doing. I paused to think and then told her the truth - all of the above and how that made me feel. This led to a 2-hour heart to heart conversation. We ended up hanging out the entire week with her and her friend

[@centpushups]

Combine this with gentle caressing and holding. She will melt like butter.

[@Invisibility397]

Certainly, here is a list of 100 negative emotions in bullet point format: 1. Sadness 2. Anger 3. Fear 4. Frustration 5. Disappointment 6. Guilt 7. Shame 8. Regret 9. Loneliness 10. Despair 11. Anxiety 12. Stress 13. Worry 14. Jealousy 15. Envy 16. Resentment 17. Bitterness 18. Hatred 19. Disgust 20. Contempt 21. Irritation 22. Impatience 23. Confusion 24. Helplessness 25. Powerlessness 26. Hopelessness 27. Nervousness 28. Insecurity 29. Embarrassment 30. Humiliation 31. Discomfort 32. Disapproval 33. Rejection 34. Betrayal 35. Abandonment 36. Loss 37. Grief 38. Sorrow 39. Melancholy 40. Pity 41. Discontent 42. Apathy 43. Indifference 44. Resignation 45. Agony 46. Misery 47. Unhappiness 48. Dismay 49. Agitation 50. Hostility 51. Irritability 52. Restlessness 53. Paranoia 54. Desperation 55. Disorientation 56. Helplessness 57. Desolation 58. Isolation 59. Alienation 60. Mistrust 61. Suspicion 62. Self-doubt 63. Inferiority 64. Worthlessness 65. Dejection 66. Hopelessness 67. Oppression 68. Fatigue 69. Overwhelm 70. Loneliness 71. Inadequacy 72. Anguish 73. Defeat 74. Resignation 75. Depletion 76. Suffering 77. Disconnection 78. Neglect 79. Condemnation 80. Recklessness 81. Disorganization 82. Annoyance 83. Displeasure 84. Hostility 85. Outrage 86. Malice 87. Vengefulness 88. Spite 89. Cynicism 90. Revulsion 91. Repulsion 92. Nausea 93. Distrust 94. Betrayal 95. Aggravation 96. Gloom 97. Moroseness 98. Peevishness 99. Grumpiness 100. Boredom These are examples of negative emotions that people may experience, and it's important to remember that emotions are complex and can vary from person to person.

[@leicalove9384]

Wow thanks ❤

[@rodneytatum9909]

Literally just had this very conversation with my wife, and I have work to do.

[@RelationShots]

You got this!

[@Invisibility397]

Certainly! Here is a list of 100 positive emotions in bullet point format: 1. Joy 2. Love 3. Gratitude 4. Excitement 5. Happiness 6. Contentment 7. Bliss 8. Elation 9. Enthusiasm 10. Ecstasy 11. Amusement 12. Optimism 13. Serenity 14. Pleasure 15. Delight 16. Hope 17. Pride 18. Fulfillment 19. Euphoria 20. Appreciation 21. Anticipation 22. Wonder 23. Awe 24. Empathy 25. Compassion 26. Kindness 27. Generosity 28. Admiration 29. Affection 30. Tenderness 31. Friendliness 32. Caring 33. Warmth 34. Trust 35. Forgiveness 36. Confidence 37. Peace 38. Relaxation 39. Calmness 40. Reassurance 41. Security 42. Comfort 43. Freedom 44. Tranquility 45. Relief 46. Satisfaction 47. Fulfilled 48. Victory 49. Triumph 50. Courage 51. Determination 52. Perseverance 53. Resilience 54. Empowerment 55. Success 56. Accomplishment 57. Self-assured 58. Belief 59. Self-esteem 60. Self-worth 61. Honesty 62. Integrity 63. Authenticity 64. Pride 65. Gratefulness 66. Satisfaction 67. Humility 68. Wonderment 69. Curiosity 70. Intrigue 71. Arousal 72. Enchantment 73. Delight 74. Eagerness 75. Fascination 76. Amazement 77. Awe 78. Pride 79. Satisfaction 80. Exhilaration 81. Zeal 82. Vivacity 83. Radiance 84. Glee 85. Lightheartedness 86. Playfulness 87. Laughter 88. Giggles 89. Chuckles 90. Amusement 91. Contentment 92. Solace 93. Reprieve 94. Unburdened 95. Freedom 96. Liberation 97. Safety 98. Security 99. Trust 100. Assurance These are just a few examples of positive emotions. Human emotions are complex and can vary from person to person, but these are some of the most commonly experienced positive feelings.

[@rodericko9534]

This is very awesome..

[@jaykay-_-ok]

Key insights: 🗣 Learning four specific skills can help couples have more intimate and connecting conversations, leading to the development of emotional intimacy in their relationship. 🗣 Not all couples are great at having connecting conversations, highlighting the importance of developing emotional and relational intimacy. 🗣 Building emotional intimacy requires the ability to put into words how we are feeling emotionally, even when emotions are firing during a conversation with our partner. 😔 Being able to express your feelings and connect them to why you feel that way is key to building emotional intimacy in a relationship. 🙋‍♀ Asking open-ended questions during intimate conversations can foster deeper connection and communication with your partner. 🗣 Exploratory statements show a desire for more details and a deeper understanding of the other person's thoughts and feelings. 😊 Expressing empathy can create a strong connection with others by validating their feelings and experiences. 💬 "I wonder what it felt like to be you that is very connecting in a relationship."

[@jasoneveritt622]

I'm not sure how you do it Eric... Your advice is always spot on, and brilliantly concise. Even when the advice is causing me to confront my own personal faults, somehow, your delivery makes it easy to absorb without feeling defensive. Keep up the great work, it's making a difference.

[@RelationShots]

Appreciate the encouragement Jason! Glad you are finding some value in the content. I’m just trying to continue getting better myself and passing on what I learn and what couples I work with find helpful.

[@blkavy519]

Each one of your vids always cover an issue or topic that I’m dealing with at that moment…it’s like you’re in my head…😂 I love it... Keep em coming💪🏾

[@RelationShots]

I’ve got Siri and Alexa listening in on your life and feeding me the info! 🤣 Guess it shows you how similar we all are on what we wrestle with in relationships. Glad you’re finding the content useful!

[@blkavy519]

Useful indeed...

[@rickbrewer1911]

Great advice and very timely

[@RelationShots]

Glad you enjoyed it Rick!

[@lydiakamwine3902]

C'mon somebody😂🤗🤗 indeed on point with the hair

[@RelationShots]

Hahahaha…🤦🏻‍♂️🤷🏻‍♂️

[@americanbeauty171]

🤣🤣🤣

[@jeffreyblanton9877]

This was very helpful because it is something I personally struggle with. Expressing feeling to me has always seemed like being a baby are whining. I guess it all makes sense now when my wife ask me what I’m thinking and I say “nothing” how this can have a negative impact on emotional intimacy. Men and especially someone like myself that serviced in the military and had a Dad that if I hurt myself and cried about it, he would look at me and say “I bet you want do that again”. I was taught to suck it up and I guess that method doesn’t work so well in a marriage😊. My wife must really love me to put up with this for almost 25 years. I’m definitely going to try some of these strategies. I just worry that it won’t sound genuine. She may also think I’m having a mental issue or i have done something to be guilty of.

[@RelationShots]

Haha, right. She’ll be like “do you have a fever or something? Everything ok “

[@alimills4238]

Noo... I think if you say to her what you wrote in the comments...Especially the realisation...."She must Really Love me!".... Will be a Beautiful gift to receive from You!! 🌟🌈🎉🌹🎉🌈🌟

[@LearnHustleGrow]

Communication for the win!

[@RelationShots]

🙌🏼

[@vboyer71]

Very enlightening! 👏

[@williamsayomide5486]

Oh yes it is

[@jaykay-_-ok]

TLDR: Developing specific skills, such as expressing emotions, asking open-ended questions, and showing empathy, can help couples build emotional intimacy and have more connecting conversations in their relationship. 1. 00:00 👫 Many couples struggle to connect on a deeper level due to difficulties in communicating about their struggles, hopes, desires, and fears, but by learning four skills, anyone can have more intimate conversations and build emotional intimacy in their relationship. 2. 01:01 🔑 Intimate conversations are essential for emotional and relational intimacy in relationships, but many couples struggle with connecting conversations and focus more on logistical tasks. 3. 01:58 👥 Say what you feel in order to connect emotionally and avoid escalating negative emotions during conversations with your partner. 4. 02:53 🔑 Building emotional intimacy in a relationship requires the ability to express and connect your feelings to what happened, as demonstrated by the speaker's example of their hairdresser's new relationship. 5. 04:16 👫 Emotional intimacy is built by acknowledging and addressing triggers, expressing feelings, and asking open-ended questions in intimate conversations. 6. 05:23 🔍 Asking open-ended questions and using exploratory statements can help build emotional intimacy by showing curiosity and a desire to understand the other person's feelings, needs, and values. 7. 06:40 👂 Use exploratory statements to show compassion and care and express empathy by putting yourself in the other person's shoes to build emotional intimacy. 8. 07:48 🔑 Practice four simple skills to improve emotional intimacy in your relationship, and if you need help, watch the video and download the resource provided.

[@ronaldobrien6870]

These questions would work just as well in the dating process or even with two people who barely know each other (i.e. a first date) as a way of the two becoming closer and more intimate.

[@yantisetiawan3103]

Awesome video, Eric... good communication is the basic of all relationship to everlasting from time to time. Your video is so helpful not only for married couples, but also people who are best friends, lovers, working partners, etc... 👏👏✌✌🤗🤗 understanding each other is lots more important than it seems...

[@Reverbial]

What are some tips for expressing empathy to your partner when you are the one that caused their pain? Directed anger is challenging to empathize with when shame says you are bad and deserve to be punished, yelled at, etc. Examples and practical advice would be great.

[@RelationShots]

Yeah, it's pretty difficult to show empathy when you feel like you're being attacked for sure. I think you do your best to express how sorry you are that you have caused their pain. I think you can ask if there are things you can do to ease the pain or aid in the healing. There also needs to be some ownership of emotions on the other side as continual attacks aren't helpful, but that's not something can usually suggest as it will come across as dismissive of their pain. That's much better share from a counselor or outside source if it is a regular issue.

[@evasccl7846]

Hi Eric!!! I have to do a catch up with your videos!! Thank you for making this particular one about conversations and building emotional intimacy. It seems to me that these skills are developed as we interact with people face to face, today we are flooded by online presence and I am coming to the conclusion that the art of intimate and meaningful communication is vanishing slowly and I wholeheartedly crave this kind of conversations, because I practice them...I get very discouraged by the lack of empathy and inability many people have to relate to others, to feel how they feel. I was recently diagnosed as highly sensitive person, which explains so many things, but also has brought heaviness on me... I am in the process of trying to find out how to best use it without getting burnt, which is what normally happens and then I need months to recover! You know how much I love your videos, the content is superb useful and practical! Your hair is perfect hahahaha not a hair out of place and direction, up straight, clean and tidy. I am not being cheekey here, but you have great presence all the time! keep the excellent content coming!!

[@RelationShots]

Hahahaha…Eva is back and bringing the heat, checking my haircut 🤣 Glad you enjoyed the video. So you’ve diagnosed yourself as an HSP?? I think the key is just guarding your heart a bit and learning which people are and are not safe places to be open and vulnerable

[@evasccl7846]

@@RelationShots hahahahaha ... I have eye for detail Eric! 🤣 I was actually diagnosed by a specialist, I did not even know that existed, but I do recall as a child being told I am too sensitive ... a lot of things make sense now. It is not an illness, I do believe God uses all about us for good, and this recent discovery, is for good too!! About guarding my heart a bit and learning which people are and are not safe places to be open and vulnerable is really true! I love people, everybody, but it does not mean I love all they do and how they treat me and/or others... I am pretty vocal about it and that is not taken too well. If I like someone of the opposite sex, I appreciate a little nudge, because it can be pretty stressful to bring guard down... in other words, it takes more time for me to open up, which means the gentleman needs to work a little extra, and that is something not common in a fast pace here i come society and mentality! God knows it all, I pray He will give me what i need and who i need at the right time. God is never late, He is always right...that is comforting enough for me. Thank you Eric!

[@RelationShots]

@@evasccl7846 I’m always skeptical when I hear of things like HSP, feeling like we just make stuff up sometimes to better understand ourselves 🤣 I am familiar with a book called The Highly Sensitive Person in Love, written by the lady that came up HSP, I think. Either way, understanding is key so if it resonates with how you are wired and can give you some tools to manage relationships better, it’s a win!

[@evasccl7846]

@@RelationShots I thought the same thing when I was told that 😳🤣 But as I pondered about a few things that were explained to me, and in my tranquil time I pondered and many things made sense and explained why and how I was the way I was and how it impacted me. Needless to say Eric, I am known for questioning hahahaha with the only intention and goal to help myself understand things, but at times questioning is taken the wrong way 🤣I often end frozen with the reaction to, what seems to me basic questions to have a deeper understanding of things and people. The way I look at that, is that if you can explain to me what made you angry and why, I can then better and deeper understand your needs and the role or part that I play in all of it! This applies to all relationships, as is my understanding. The book you mention, rings a bell... but honestly speaking, I have not read it and I am not convinced it is required of me to read it. I think we have both missed each other's exchange of comments 😄I am grateful for your work and this space to share. Thank you again!! Eric, this thought just popped in my head... we women are more complex, right? that is why we need men to simplify things 😁 I think I cracked the code right now Eric 😉😂

[@RelationShots]

@@evasccl7846 Generalizing, yes women tend to be a bit more complex and men more simple but obviously there are always the exceptions

[@lisar2801]

How do I even start a conversation I find this tricky,

[@RelationShots]

Sometimes scheduling a time to begin a conversation is the best approach. Asking your partner, "Is there a time we could sit down and talk about...."

[@ababs2429]

When saying what I feel or what I think, the response I get is: that’s on you or I can’t compete with whatever is going on in your head. Where do I go from there?

[@RelationShots]

Hard to say without being able to get more context but sounds like someone who either doesn’t care or doesn’t feel like they can meet an expectation. That’s usually the two options

[@KellyMartin0902]

Sounds emotionally abusive. Im sorry

[@deerjerkydave]

If a partner has a lot of unresolved baggage from prior relationships, is it the new partner's job to regulate it?

[@RelationShots]

I wouldn’t say it’s their job to regulate as we each have to own our “stuff”, but a partner certainly shares in a responsibility to help cultivate or create an environment that helps with their regulation rather than exasperates it

[@derpy89807]

Summary: #1. Use the correct words and tone to describe how you are personally feeling. #2. Know what questions to ask and how to ask them. #3. Know what questions to follow up with to learn more. #4. Show the other person that you understand what they're feeling. If I made any mistakes please correct me.

[@roseasare5504]

Where did you get these skills from?

[@RelationShots]

They come from a book called Eight Dates by John and Julie Gottman

[@searain1573]

I have a question. How comfortable are most couples actually are with each other? I heard that most couples are actually shy around each other and don't like getting naked around each other, so they avoid getting naked around each other. Most couples will never be naked around each other. I heard that most couples actually are not comfortable around each other, and I heard that most couples don't actually have sex due to how shy they are around each other.

[@doriannemosich232]

Picking someone incapable of "LOVE" or doesn't "VALUE" "LOVE" means pick again. GOD also must be valuable or believed in, or ditch out.

[@zanyryan6417]

Seems Tip #2 and Tip #3 are nearly identical. The only difference is that one is a question and the other is a statement.

[@stevetrivago]

Sadly it takes two

[@jaredshowers1]

My wife has divorce papers ready to be signed... 10 years married. I've missed all this. Awful.

[@livb6945]

Good advice but the intro is too long. No need to say the exact same things twice