"IS MY MOTHER UNSTABLE?" | 8 Family Trauma Signs | Psychotherapy Crash Course

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

How do you see your mother? If she a force to be feared or a source of love and safety? Check out this video here for more on this topic: kzbin.info/www/bejne/aXyTYoFqgrJ-hdk

[@miriamevans5200]

Even as an independent adult, that has moved away, they will stalk you. Mother tries to make you move back home. If you cut her off, she wants revenge. Some times you has to get the law involved. Mine used to scream, " I own you!" You have to cut off entire family completely. Other family members live to please her. The only help is imprisonment or death. They enjoy it and won't stop until forced to.

[@AdamantlyAdams]

It's definitely fear that I felt as a child, teen, and as a young adult.

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

I'm sorry. It's interesting to see how many adult children, that I have seen in my profession, say the same thing.

[@els1573]

You just described my mother.

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

I'm sorry. 😔

[@emmvee2932]

You nailed both my parents with this video. Basically, the only thing that they don't do is splitting.

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

I'm sorry. These kind of parents are very difficult to get love from. Adults are often forced to find live elsewhere.

[@taraarrington2285]

Yeah it's really weird to finally realize that your parent is actually jealous of you like it's just it's a foreign concept to

[@tinkerbelle6936]

It is heartbreaking, the topics i have to find in order to find information that actually seems helpful for me, and makes me feel more 'seen' than the surface level anxiety and depression information for mental health. Thank you for making the these videos, i silently watch for the most part, and you are one of the only channels that i feel like works with, and learns about things that are in my life and are very painful to accept at the point of time.

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

You're welcome. 🙂 They are tough subjects indeed. But I'm glad you feel they are helping you and allowing you to process things in your life. That's why I do what I do on this channel.

[@citizenkang2524]

My mother refused to get help because of her insecurity about losing control in aging and her dementia that I and my LP nurse friend were the first to detect (my father turned his most emotional abusive and even sadistic while in hospice over his frustration over his domineering control slipping). My sister, relatives and neighbors got in the way of me getting her the help she needed before it was too late because of do as I say, not as I do and a like engrained toxic family dynamic dating back at least to the early 20th century.

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

I'm sorry. 😔 That can be so very frustrating -- and even damaging for some families. What makes it worse, and you point this out, is the family dynamic that is unhealthy and toxic. AND culture/race/ethnicity can play a role in this as well. For African American, Hispanic, and Native American families, getting help or recognizing mental health challenges (at any age) is taboo so it never gets dealt with until someone like you points it out.

[@truth4utoda]

By the way, you continue to help me conceptualize this.

[@fairygurl9269]

Thank You So Much, Tamara! It Is the Scariest XP when the Ones You Need To Keep You "Safe" are the Most Absolutely Dangerous & Hostile Thing You Have To Survive...... Those That Claimed The Loudest That They Loved Me Were the Most Terrifying Expieriences. If You Saw it on True Crime Happening to An Adult Much More Helpless LiL Kiddos.. 😰

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

You're welcome Fairy Gurl!! I love this: "It Is the Scariest XP when the Ones You Need To Keep You "Safe" are the Most Absolutely Dangerous & Hostile Thing You Have To Survive....." Well said.

[@taraarrington2285]

I think that's what people don't understand from an outside perspective you don't even know what you did wrong to this kind of parent it's like you don't really even have to do anything wrong they just can perceive that you did or said something

[@cctv318]

I’ve never heard of splitting before but it describes my experience perfectly

[@truth4utoda]

I was waiting on this one Tamara. Thank you for covering this topic.

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

You are so welcome! I had you in mind as I reviewed this topic.

[@CNae03]

Im very excited to watch this video as always ☺️ but i do have a request ,may you please make a video on paranoid personality disorder in connection to trauma/Ptsd i have a relative who i believe suffers from this heavily .thanks for your consideration in advance Dr.Hill 😉 🥰

[@jernedavistheseededheart]

Tamera these messages are so helpful. Do you think you would ever expand from KZbin and do Group virtual interactive adult activities for those adults who are still struggling with abuse from parents. I find your messages to be extremely helpful.

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

Thank you Jerne! 🤗Someone else just asked me a similar question. The answer is...I would love to! The only issue...time. I'm considering some kind of "membership" perks for those who follow me on KZbin where you can pay a one time fee (reasonable, of course!) to receive a "package" of therapeutic activities, reflection activities, etc.

[@Marie-ts8rp]

@@TherapistTamaraHill I would join and found you via your emotionally distanced & no contact w mom & family videos👌🌈

[@taraarrington2285]

Do you think this is the kind of parent who chooses one child to be a scapegoat and another one to be The Golden child and expects the rest of the family to a fallen suit

[@TerenaTCloud]

Wish i came across this video 20 years ago!

[@Cassey928]

A lot of this sounds like an addict parent.

[@poohbear0320]

I can't believe I missed this one.

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

🤗

[@Jaynastytv2000]

I need look up these videos because it's too much simlaer my mom be doing even though she did everything for us you mentally and physically abuse and my mom not understanding that