It takes BRAVERY to leave a narcissistic system | Tim Ross

[@middletonl1737]

You "WILL" lose everything that is toxic. But you will gain PEACE and HOPE!

[@Darren-su2gm]

Yes you gain peace and hope.🙂👍🙏

[@Anna-jw2qq]

Exactly

[@sanders4911]

🙏🏽❤️ Amen

[@laurahell]

✌️ ☮️ 🕊 🏳️‍

[@Janeintheok]

Lose chaos, gain peace 🕊️

[@MeshMwah]

❤

[@nanasmexyyyy]

I'm doing it tomorrow. I know God will be by my side. I know God has all the best things in the world for me because I deserve it now after all the abuse

[@TroyEscar]

How are you doing now?

[@camisnyder3460]

I’m scared. I’m sad. But I’m ready for peace and happiness.

[@user-oe8kt6md1l]

Pack your shit up and go don’t stay it will cause more damage if you have to leave with the clothes on your back or have the police move you out

[@felben111195]

This is absolutely how it is!!! Please understand you are not weak ….. it takes a team and a faithful village to step out of that narcissistic matrix!!!🙏🏽🙏🏽

[@middletonl1737]

Sis, some people lose their team and everyone who they thought was in their village. For me it took Jesus opening my eyes to what I was dealing with. Him alone I give credit to no man or woman. JESUS Christ alone delivered me from the grips of evil. Because narcissists are evil and wicked folks especially the vulnerable/covert ones.

[@ceritanevels4507]

Facts! When that fog lifts and reality creeps in,it’s a place like no other.

[@GracedToWin]

I must be in a fog right now then😕 I am trying to pivot.

[@letitiahughes5683]

He blamed me and couldn’t take the accountability and responsibility for his actions. You can’t mess with God’s children and think you will get away with it you can’t. You reap what you sow

[@TLRwithAnitaO]

YES I have two female matriarchs in my family who REFUSE to take responsibility for anythinggggg. They also think they have authority over me. BUT I belong to GOD. God made me. Just because you laid down to have kids doesn't mean you have any power over them. You cann't make a child just because you want someone to love you. Oooofff. To what you said here; YES 1000Xs YES!: Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows.

[@danitabowie4842]

In the midst of this RIGHT NEOW!!! The past 2 weeks have been outrageous. My eyes were shielded to the truth & its now hit me like a tsunami. Thank God for his discernment & the wisdom he's given me. I am grateful for the peace he is now bestowing upon me. 💆🏾

[@tabbylathan]

Amen !!!! I touch and agree with you. I’m walking this out right now also. But peace of God we will receive, will dismiss all the lies of the enemy 🙏

[@tbrathwaite3038]

Thank you for letting people know that it's fine to walk away!!!!

[@daviswenzler9655]

Exactly describes leaving my family

[@antoniobabb1938]

Same here

[@melanierobinson4152]

I'm in the process of leaving a narcissist now. We have children together and it's been 11yrs. I'm so ready to be free. I am taking the safe road. I'm slowly getting out for the safety of our children.

[@Denise-qq3bq]

True!! I lost everything leaving but I'm so glad I did. There's a quote that goes "I had not known the weight until I felt the freedom."

[@summerpax]

You don't always lose everything. Sometimes, you just realize you never had anything or anyone in the first place. For me, all I got were his lies and manipulation. When I left and revealed his extra lives, I felt like a bomb went off. But, among the wreckage was ME again! Free to do whatever I wanted without feeling pulled like a puppet on a string.

[@coutureleotards]

❤❤❤ 💯 sis and I pray you find the self you wanted to be in the first place.

[@cmjonestheauthor]

Yes yes yes. That part when you realize you never had what you fear losing!!!!

[@3tmelo]

This.

[@hatchertj]

“I been losing friends and finding peace, but honestly that sounds like a fair trade to me” ~Drake voice🗣️

[@Blessed2Bme225]

Whew! this brought tears to my eyes. I experienced this in 2015. I cried, because I felt like a failure and couldn’t make it work. I didn’t know how I was going to pay my bills or eat. But when I tell you, after I dealt with my emotions. I experienced a PEACE that surpassed my understanding.

[@middletonl1737]

Hallelujah

[@nicoledoree]

I am dealing with this now! It's horrible

[@Blessed2Bme225]

@@nicoledoree Trust God and trust the process in due season you shall reap, if you faint not.

[@vanilla1657]

I want out now 😔😭

[@imandriamichele]

So true I lost a lot, but gain so much more

[@tunishavance5339]

This is so true! I've lost the relationship with my step children. I was carrying such a heavy load.But I am living my best life now! Praise God!🙌🏾

[@coutureleotards]

Your step children will grow up one day, they will reach out when the realize how important you where in their lives. It's even harder for a child with a narcissistic parent. It takes lots of healing and time ❤

[@nicoledoree]

Going through this now!

[@lulubowen2420]

Most courageous thing I have ever done

[@tbrathwaite3038]

Amen, 8 walked away with my clothes, the best move that I made. Praise God

[@boricua8163]

Yes, that's exactly how it is. I did lose everything and I'm ok with it, because I am no longer being abused.

[@TLmomofZAHS]

Brother you are a prophetic voice of this age. Keep speaking the truth. people need Jesus for real. People need freedom

[@John-yo2sq]

I was in narcissism and when I'm out of the matrics i began to see the code I'm so amazed tim thank you so much

[@priscillawilson125]

This one hits different! So true! Putting words to something I didn’t know how to describe. Thank you!

[@tabbylathan]

Lord if this isn’t me right now, I’m getting ready to leave my employer of 8 years and get on this flight and leave everything behind #peace #freedom #purpose 🙏

[@rodneyshannon5759]

Narcissist what a blessing to leave one behind, and I did lose everything I thought. But God gave me so much more. Living my best now. It's an amazing gift. The joy. Trust God in all you do.

[@taaas5837]

So true just did it myself... Lost it all as he said... Family, friends, kids even turned at first... I was so sad, but now so happy to not have to serve and obey.... freedom his speaking truth.

[@lah2968]

THIS CLIP WILL FREE AND CONFIRM SO MANY PEOPLE! LET'S GOOOOO!🎯

[@sandrabailey2433]

Jesus I am leaving and this has and is happening and now I'm not knowing where to go the realization that I have lost everything and everyone I absolutely didn't know I have no friends Thank you for this I don't even care about losing things I lost myself

[@nic2859]

It’s the guilt trip that makes it hurt. This is me dealing with family and I just KNOW that all the reaching out from the “motherboard” of the system and constant messages I get from the “flying monkeys”, as they call it is really all just a way for them to say “they tried”. I also know that the story they’re telling the rest of the family is NOTORIOUSLY leaving out their part of the problem.

[@momentoftruthwithalma]

On point!!!! I lived it.. I know!! Praise God I’m now free!

[@kimberlyfloyd1009]

Yes, out of the matrix! Seriously. Life feels lighter, so much peace.

[@miriamosborne2954]

Hallelujah ToGodBTheGlory!! I AM FREEEEEEEE!!

[@missleticia86]

Praise the Lord! I broke free by the grace of God and His strength! 🕊️ thank you Jesus!

[@SavedbyGrace19]

Amen...I lost everything..and I'm ok..God gave me peace...that I don't even understand..praise God

[@middletonl1737]

Won’t he do it. That Peace is priceless. I remember sleeping on an air mattress. Left everything behind. God is Marvelous!

[@overcomer1679]

Omgoodness finally somebody understands

[@aalexandria94]

Fresssh out and no better feeling. The smile, peace, LOVE that I am embracing I would never go back 🥳

[@marciacampbell8282]

You will never be prepared for the depth of loss...You have to be prepared to trust living only on Divine Love to journey you through tremendous grief that comes in years of waves as you emerge. It is not only learning, it is learning to rewire your body, mind & soul. It is hard wired in our body's energy field. We know how to navigate it. We have no idea how to navigate any other world.

[@LaVieDeFlavie]

Very true 💯 Hard to leave one while in the relationship, but the peace and joy that come once you’re out will remove every desire to ever look back (especially when you’re healed). If you don’t strive to heal, you’ll keep feeling guilty (since they’re really good at playing victim…from their own wrongdoings). Like Sodom & Gomorrah ➡️ run and never look back. 😂😂😂

[@tabbylathan]

My my myyyyy, I touch and agree with you on this one. I’m literally living the relationship, the family & friends right now. But peace of god that I’m about to have and the freedom to walk in Gods will for my life🙏

[@LaVieDeFlavie]

@@tabbylathan I'm so proud of you! Remain strong...the first few weeks to months will be difficult, so give yourself abundant grace. Cry, meditate, and trust in God always....and I assure you a few months from today, you will be so proud of how far you have come. Also, you can make a list of all the great things you love about yourself, favorite hobbies, bucket list, and goals you want to accomplish before the year ends. The more you grow in who you are and accomplish the things that you love, the more you will fall in love with yourself and become the woman God has created you to be. Keep walking in purpose, and He will bless you with those who are meant to be in your life.

[@tabbylathan]

@LaVieDeFlavie Amen and amen, it is so 🙏. Thank you so much for your kind words and encouragement. It’s definitely going to be a journey, it’s 10 more days till my big move and I believe by faith wherever I am he is WITH ME 🙏. Protecting me from danger seen and unseen. It’s time for me to walk in his full anointing for my life and not by fear or doubt.

[@LaVieDeFlavie]

@@tabbylathan Amen! Yes, get ready to walk in and receive all of the blessings He has for you. And I pray that the move goes smoothly and well 🤗. I’m here if you ever need to talk.

[@tabbylathan]

@@LaVieDeFlavie thanks hun, I appreciate that ☺️

[@BeNice524]

Im about to watch this on repeat tomorrow. Got a new place and she doesn’t know. Starting to move little by little. Reactive abuse is her thing. You can feel good for a moment and then the anxiety comes hard out of nowhere. Videos like this helps.

[@ll7708]

Left one after 10 years this couldn't be more true

[@biancaorozco1186]

You don’t loose a lot of people because they slowly kept you away from everyone.

[@kimbunting3229]

I LOST “EVERYTHING” ON THE WAY OUT, IT WAS WORTH IT!! GASLIGHTING AND ALL!! MY LIFE AND MY WALK WITH GOD DEPENDED ON ME TRUSTING “HIM”

[@md-dx8hv]

Ty brother. You worded this perfectly. I’m glad you expressed what I literally just escaped from. Ty for the encouraging.❤🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉

[@malvelo777]

after 13 years and probably 200 times of going back, I finally made it out - blocked everything and put all my faith and trust in God to take over from this point and I already feel lighter, the chains have been broken. Thank you JESUS!

[@Nursegurl82]

FACTS. & I did lose everything while being told that everything (the demise of the marriage), was “my fault”, but I gained PEACE.

[@elsh332]

I just left my second husband. The first was a narc and destroyed my life and my family, took the community we were a part of, then walked out on me while I was pregnant! Total discard. This second one this year, i walked away when he raised his fist to me face and pushed my son i to a wall and I had to callthe police. This time, I had a good community and wonderful friends. My family was in tact too. But he had nothing when we started the relationship and has gone back to nothing. It's so hard to leave and you definitely look back and cannot understand why you were doing what you were doing! That end comment was so SO validating!!

[@AlexisDavis16]

Yes, leaving a narcissistic boss saved my soul !

[@AG_worlds]

Gosh! YESSSSS!!!! Freedom! I left my narcissist boss yesterday, and I haven’t felt peace in a while until now

[@michellea2b]

Going through this now.. I am seeing peaks of light in the dark. While he rages and rages saying it’s my fault and calling me every vile name in the book- I’m walking away… 🙏🏻 crying but still walking.

[@gloriatirado3008]

It just gets me upset that other people don't see through there games and lies .

[@meilei8716]

So real. My current job I’m looking to leave has treated every reasonable person who had to leave bc of the obvious differential treatment based on skin color or cultural values would gaslight them on the way out after placing blame on them even months after they’d been gone.

[@Happy2haveHaters]

FAAAAACTS!!! EXACTLY! Thank you for saying this!

[@coutureleotards]

Be careful with general information about narcissism; narcissism can be overt, covert, antagonistic, communal, or malignant. There's only 2 diagnosis either adaptive (helpful in ones day-to-day life or unhelpful maladaptive ( unhelpful in everyday life). Narcissism is a spectrum, less to more severe and that's why its hard to recognize those behaviors and pinpoint the personality disorder. Remember, we are all narcissist and all have an ego. Its how we balance those traits in our lives that make a difference in our successes. Most people don't know they have a personality disorder until they get into a long term relationship. When a balanced mate recognizes the unbalanced behavior and the behavior feedback from work and other relationships. It is diagnosed in more males than females and begins in teen-adult years. Don't ever try to diagnose your mate just be hyper vigilant of their behavior if a red flag is tugging at your intuition. Here are some general behaviors that bring red flags to the forefront: 1. A strong desire for recognition and praise.- " I feel like you don't support me enough, or when I do things you dont recognize it". Its as if everything they do is not enough for them until they get mass praise, and then it counts. They boast about every little thing even if they failed at it to get recognition. " I got a podcast" with 2 followers their mom and their spouse 😒 2. Boundaries- They have none and when they infringe on yours they don't understand why your upset. Would you take a poop with the door open at someone's house you just met? An extreme narcissist would and down play your correction, even laugh that your so disgusted. 3. Unreasonably sense of high importance- They want to be admired by everyone around them. They feel they deserve privileges and special treatment. "I Shoulda got that promotion", They started 3 months ago the other guy has clear experience and time in the job 🥴. 4. Does not take criticism well- Just hold that moral in your mouth like Proverbs said to do. As soon as you criticism or give feedback, they will always find a way to play tit for tat 🙄. Or say "I'm built different" 😏. They can also be vengeful if you correct them infront of others. "Shut the F up, you don't know what your talking about. 5. Don't believe they are narcissist and won't get help!- We can't force anyone to seek psychology or therapy no matter how hard we try. " All my other narcissist friends don't think I have a personality disorder" 😑. Thank you for reading my book 😂❤ Just want to help. Depending on the spectrum of narcissism, leaving may be very easy or very hard. I don't believe you will loose everything if you serve God and have a Pastor who knows how to read Paul's writing 😮😊. Slowly unwind your life from theirs, get a higher paying job, open your own bank account, have your pepos ready for when you bounce. Set your life up for as much success as you can if you decide to leave. Also remember you inheritance, be kind and patient in your transition. Narcissist are broken inside, they have had enough harsh people treat them terribly. Be the light God has planted in you and forgive but make sure they know they are not allowed in THAT SPACE, anymore. ❤❤

[@magdalapierre3005]

This! God bless you.

[@theoracle888]

Thank you for taking the time to leave this comment! I know it will definitely help many 👏❤️

[@middletonl1737]

They are all wicked folks. The whole bunch of them.

[@4WallsDesigns]

WoW! I think you’ve done the WORK! I’m still in the phase of disbelief that I covered him when he was down but he MARRIED HER! I’m grateful yet hurt, pissed, enraged, sad then back to grateful! It’s a journey…

[@tabbylathan]

So true 💯💯💯 especially the boundaries #they have none

[@kozubart]

I have been living in a narcissistic home, born to a narcissistic family system, for 24 years. At a point of rock bottom right now, I somehow am having the strength, courage, and bravery to leave this home and go out into the world to live my dream. I have been unemployed my entire life, but I know God put me here on his earth to be great and to motivate, inspire, and uplift many. And I have trust and faith that He will provide me with everything I need.

[@Kennedy4ever]

I lost everything. I lost my church family. I left a job of 15 years with 5 years to go and lost free health care because I did not stay to retire. I lost friends of 20 plus years. I left a home and a yard I had spent years in improving. I left a handsome, distinguished looking man with a great job and high standing in our church. I left with whatever I could fit into my van. He never physically hit me but he battered me physiologically, spun my mind like a hurricane when I tried to go over what I knew he said to me, but he " proved" me wrong in every discussion. I was beaten down in every conversation. But ...I...got...away. I got free of him. This sense of freedom took awhile to get used to but I will never, never, never go back.

[@alesiawilson6143]

Each statement made is true.

[@MeshMwah]

You are so spot on ❤

[@sofiasaville3345]

The shit you go through with a narcissist ages you, stresses you so much faster. Ppl always asked me if I was older than I was. Time to win some of that youthfulness back. I understand why I’m still so goofy and silly and childspirited behaviour

[@jennjc800]

Tim, stoppppp!!! 😲🙏🏼I thank God he led me out of the fog, the "matrix." It wasn't from Him anways but I'm glad He still showed me the way out!

[@GracedToWin]

I already lost friends not to mention a father figure who was a wreck and in tears the last day we spoke😢 I’m looking forward to the day we can all speak again.

[@chantoljames9759]

Huh man!!!!!!!! I felt every word of this!

[@tonyabuford2095]

All is very true. Thank you for being your authentic self.

[@LaPatronaVlogs]

He is not wrong , leaving is the hardest part 😢

[@mememarcia329]

THIS!!!!!!

[@AProv31Wm]

I left my parents' narcissist system and have not found a healthy system to be a part of. I never had a family or was loved, so I have not found love in my life. No church or organization has done anything more than prayed for me and told me to go to my "family" and told me I would not get into heaven if I didn't care for my abusive parents in their old age

[@jensmith7865]

True, so worth it. But like all narcissistic entities, it will lure you back with anything from guilt to lovebombing to punish you. Once you're out and happy..... STAY

[@mramirez5239]

Speaking of this in a marital sense.

[@12tinj]

In it right now. I am a s****y mess. Headaches, nausea... I'm looking forward to the end of this tunnel.

[@Darren-su2gm]

Yes you will lose the toxic bully that tried to dominate control and destroy you.The only thing I miss is the sexual stuff and the cuddling together.She didn't want me to touch her much.I had to ask her if I could hold her.Sometimes she would ask me to hold her. Everything else was bad and crazy.Mtly self esteem and self confidence returned.The experiences were a learning experience.I'm still amazed that anyone like her even exist.How did she get like that?It puzzles me.I have never heard of a malignant narcissist until after she discarded me the last time.I'm still stuned.I have a consience and could never treat someone I loved like that.I would also respect and care about someone who did so much for me

[@Ngoziscreativity]

The pain of parental aleniation stops some people from leaving abusive marriages

[@aquajax9323]

I lost everything. Still trying to overcome as he still manipulates, lies and controls. Only now he is doing it to our son

[@AngelAshes36]

It's pretty bad when losing literally everything, and everyone is worth it just to get away from one person. I have to laugh at the accuracy and how I'm happier now than ever, though you think I'd be bitter. Nope, because God had a plan for my life, and what I lost, I gained back 1000 fold in quality.❤

[@suzanne4396]

Thankfully, we didn't cohabitate, didn't have children together and didn't own anything together after 9+ years; there was NOTHING to keep me tied to him. ... so once I was able to break the trauma bond, I ghosted him, went no contact and blocked him. I didn't lose one single thing except a dark cloud above me all the time and a heavy weight around my neck!!!

[@angelsmith2080]

Mane I love Tim Ross

[@gloriatirado3008]

Im very happy now that i overcame something that i thought was me and now realize i was trying to love a fake marriage that only took the best of me ,now i have to find myself again.

[@askew9976]

I had none of that to start. That’s why I was so “appealing.” Left him yesterday for good. Third time I left. 🎉

[@dancehhallpalace5787]

I’m on my way out! Keeping my distance, going no contact by changing my number . Everyday I feel more free and hope of a better future is just lurking He’s busted a few tires x3 but hey, sometimes freedom isn’t free but worth the fight❤ stay safe everyone

[@tiffanyrichards3254]

I've finally decided that I'd rather be completely alone than to continue being completely miserable...I can't take the lies, manipulation, and gaslighting anymore! I'm almost too exhausted to even walk away but if I don't do it now then I may never be able to...If you believe in Jesus and you're fully saved and sanctified then please keep me in your prayers! This feels like an uphill battle!

[@cassbryant4508]

🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽

[@kimmccreary6667]

Need this I'm going thru it 13 years

[@leele2579]

I got a bag packed for me and my kids. When it’s time I’m out even tho I know it’s time now.

[@dextrinfrierson5909]

I'm Wit one now and I believe you are right but if😂y😢 you😢 are a wimp fighting them it's so important don't let them take completely control

[@ShotByNae]

FACTS!!

[@BrondonMathis]

Amen....I am out of the Matrix....BRAVERY.... Be prepared to lose EVERYTHING....But it's worth it to get out. ...

[@DanHunterPhotography]

I've been married to one for 6 years. And for the last two days, I've decided to it's time to walk out. I'm grateful i never had kids with her. It's hard, and believe me, it's killing me mentally & physically. I just don't know which way i should do it

[@lindagorena7768]

.. and it’s so terrifying to know how she will control the kids… she’s already told my granddaughter (7) that she can’t come visit me..

[@candicenelson1942]

It’s WORTH IT!!!!! 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉

[@TCpointsof]

Be prepared to completely leave your old life everything you know to start over. These narcs are dangerous no joke they will unalive you or hire someone to do it. Count your blessings to get away from them. I would find my tires low every single day on a new car because they will mess with them or cut brake lines. They have no soul or empathy it’s very scary.

[@laurahell]

Yep, it's not because of their disrespect & betrayal, it's because YOU don't love them. YOU have someone else that you were seeing behind their back & you're leaving to be with that person. YOU never loved them. YOU weren't willing to fight for the relationship. YOU planned it from the beginning. YOU don't care.

[@harristomia1]

its ok to walk away and feel no guilt

[@Kelly-eb9el]

I'm almost ready.

[@littlepip4014]

I was always told “you would be the reason why we ever split up” in the relationship even though he emotionally and sexually abused me (+ tortured my pets). I finally left and told him word for word “you always told me if I didn’t like the way you treated me to leave, well I left”. I’m so proud of myself. He’s facing 5 sexual felonies for what he did to me, although it consisted of years of sexual abuse/rape. If I got out, and my self esteem is zero, then you can. Trust your gut. If your unhappy then leave.

[@littlepip4014]

Edit: feeling lighter is an understatement. I always felt like I would die whenever I thought about leaving him, but when I finally broke the trauma bond and left. I felt free. I don’t miss anything except the routine. At least I knew bills were going to get paid and I could afford shoes for my kiddo. That was the only thing holding me back. I don’t miss anything about him. It almost feels weird tbh, how free I feel now. I almost feel as if I should be yelled at/downgraded because I deserve it. I’ll be waiting a long time before I date again because I know the first person to show me kindness will make me cry. Literally all it would take would be to watch a movie with me without complaining and I’d be so touched I’d cry :( The fact my self-worth is so low is heartbreaking.

[@GracedToWin]

Omg, you summed up in two words how I was feeling…the matrix😮

[@God_Leads_My_Way]

You have to be prepared to lose in order to win 🏆 if that makes any sense!

[@dorothy7782]

My husband and I talk about this a lot lately, we both realize, all we needed to gain our freedom was, JESUS CHRIST ALONE

[@seanj11421]

For those of you that have never been in narcissistic relationships, you’ll NEVER understand what the ending is like. I’ve been in several and didn’t know or understand what was going on till now. As I look back, I see a naive man trying to love the wrong women. Doesn’t make me a fool, for I didn’t know. I sought the knowledge and educated myself on this. I also read the book of Proverbs Chapter 7. I have no excuse going forward.

[@savannahleeross7373]

Not if you have nothing left to lose......

[@geishagrrl77]

Whaaaahhhh- waking up is hard to do! ❤

[@Exotic733]

You will loss everything toxic and fake and gain God instead 🙌 that’s the best reward ever keep the faith high it’s all u need 🙌🙌

[@princessAllDay247]

PREACH!!!!!!!!!! So true!

[@gothmesss]

I left last night. Thank you