I Don’t Think My Husband Makes Enough Money

I Don’t Think My Husband Makes Enough Money
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[@bluemountainlittle]

This lady is so high strung. I can feel my anxiety rising just listening to her.

[@DevHazy]

Legit! I know moms like this and it’s super sad when the kids are older

[@obama7325]

i couldnt even watch the video had to turn it off

[@tabkaliO]

I thought it was just me. She is Uber intense. And he has to worry about his biology too.

[@murielinez]

@@bluemountainlittle Agreed. How would this amount of stress affect their children? Perhaps if they do decide to increase their family size , she should cough up part of her $170K and hire a fabulous nanny. She can take maternity leave and go back to climbing her career ladder.

[@Girlgonewise]

Nothing wrong with wanting to stay home with your child. However, you can’t bully your husband into making more money. Just cut back and live within his means.

[@naomirachel9161]

Bingo

[@garfieldGG]

She makes 170k a year at only 31. Idc what her gender is, packing it in at this point is just plain nuts.

[@benmyers9030]

​@@garfieldGGyou know she can't have kids forever right? You are even more greedy than her. Which is saying something.

[@terriesmith2616]

She's like most women, always wanting more. Never satisfied. You can tell she doesn't respect her husband because he makes less money than her. She'll most likely cheat or leave him in the future. Once she leaves him, she'll realize that the grass is not always greener. I believe she does love him but she doesn't respect him. She's gonna regret it big time if she leaves him and gets pumped and dumped by multiple guys, but she won't realize it until she hits the wall in her late 40s/early 50s.

[@garfieldGG]

@@benmyers9030 she…can still have them and make 170 grand a year.

[@julieanncheshire9960]

This woman does not want to have a child, she just thinks that she is supposed to do so.

[@NellyBlueee]

That’s what I was thinking

[@hudsonmilbank]

"I think I do want a kid under certain circumstances." lol

[@AquaGirl953]

This is exactly what I thought. She is trying to convince herself that her husband is the reason why they can't have a baby.

[@kyrafarkas7058]

THIS

[@karil6461]

Twords the end she says in 20 years this (kid) will pay off. Eww kids aren't just for retirement.

[@nmalele0909]

Poor child is going to have to listen to this woman for the rest of his/her life 😂

[@DevHazy]

Yep. Dogging the dad for not making 125k

[@dariuss.3500]

​@@DevHazyaverage ass dad lol

[@MuzzyBarker]

If she makes $170K a year and believes her household can live off $100K with an extra person, why isn't she saving now? Why isn't she budgeting as if they have a $100K household?

[@katemiller7874]

Her home is almost paid of. I’m guessing that’s what she’s been doing

[@MuzzyBarker]

@@katemiller7874 Possibly. Though, she says they got it super cheap, so I can't imagine it went for more than 250.

[@NotSoEntertaining.]

“She?” Isn’t she married?

[@MuzzyBarker]

@@NotSoEntertaining. She is. What's your point?

[@jessejames6688]

@@MuzzyBarker Depends on where they live. Big ticket salaries are more frequent in cities, which also tend to have pricier property and cost of living. Where I live, 2 bedroom houses go for around $500,000. That's exceptionally high compared to most of the world. "Super cheap" is a relative term in the housing market.

[@dihe1392]

70k and he's in the Environmental field?thats really good..most environmentl jobs pay 40-45k

[@firefly9838]

Yup its all about perspective.

[@dihe1392]

@@firefly9838 sometimes you want a job that makes you feel good at the end of the day

[@paisleyduck]

For real. This woman lacks perspective. Hard core. She seems to think she knows a lot about parenting already too. I wish her giant head all of the luck in the world being a stay home mommy. It’s hard.

[@giaholmed2626]

@@paisleyduck Just because her husband has chosen to live a life of mediocrity and low ambition - doesn’t mean she wants the same for her or her unborn child.

[@dihe1392]

@@giaholmed2626 he's trying to make the world a better place by taking care of the environment while getting paid..who hurt you?

[@gabehoyer5410]

This lady isn’t even considering the fact that she’s also basically demanding her husband to be okay with giving up $170K of their household income. Props to John for calling her out on her nonsense.

[@Shortballa11]

She can easily get a work from home job thats low maintenance and still caretake. Why wasn't this brought up

[@RepentImmediately]

He's the one who wants a child. It's optional for her. She's the one who would be risking her life, her health, and her emotional well being to give him a child.

[@yota8325]

​@auemmjee no she does want a kid but she doesn't want her lifestyle to change which is impossible if you want to be a stay at home mum

[@starspaceschool587]

@@RepentImmediatelyyou have never met a father if you think they don’t risk life, health and emotional well being for their kids.

[@saffylllama5609]

@@starspaceschool587 Most men will never risk/give their life for anyone unless they are in law enforcement/ firefighters/ army etc. Women on the other hand risk death, disfigurement and disability in REAL LIFE to bring children into the world.

[@ezikiel121212]

This is the most first world problem I've ever heard.

[@israelruiz8706]

For reals. Only thing I can respect is her thinking far ahead instead of in the moment. But the fact that they have a well established life is way more than the average person can claim

[@ThatsTheWayItGoes]

Right. We live in a first world country, therefore, the problems of a first world country would be _____, yes, first world!

[@DudeTastic13]

Translation: I want my husband to pull in as much as I do, so I can sit my butt at home to raise a baby that I do not yet have. While being at home, I don't want to give up the luxuries we have now like eating out - aka I won't be doing homemaking stuff. I'm really glad John called out her BS. It's one of those "listen to yourself" moment. It wasn't about the money. It's more about her selfishness and somewhat controlling tendencies. Such ungratefulness will ruin her, her husband, and the future baby. And if this is a maturity problem (she says she's 30), she ought to go see somebody to get counseling.

[@beeandbloomhomestead]

Yep

[@mizzmolly7649]

​@@DudeTastic13 Who wants to struggle?

[@JustOne-qe7jl]

Dr. John hit the nail on the head - this lady is no where near ready to have a baby. She doesn’t understand that owing nothing is a very good position to be in. Also she needs to learn how to live below their means. First world problems.

[@RepentImmediately]

And if they end up having twins?

[@fauxbro1983]

Nobody really is ready for raising a functional human

[@JustOne-qe7jl]

@@fauxbro1983 Yes - to a degree. But humans would cease to exist if everything had to be overly analyzed. She needs to dig deeper - I feel she wants to keep up with the Jone’s if their having kids she needs to have kid but that money thing is doing a number on her.

[@texan903]

​@JustOne-qe7jl Since she is overly concerned about her lifestyle post baby, she can commit to having one child. With this, she can return to work sooner and largely keep the life she wants.

[@jawjagrrl]

He didn't dig deep enough IMO - she knows she is great at her job. She doesn't know how good a parent she would be. Based on what sue said about her own childhood, she didn't have a good role model for this. It doesn't matter that most of us didn't - she has a winner mindset and won't except anything less as a parent. She could fall off her own pedestal and that's a tough fall.

[@EFN86]

To the lady who called. I am a SAHM with 6 kids that homeschools. We still have a mortgage, and we are living on my husband's income, and he made a little less than that last year. I promise you, you're going to be just fine. Plan a budget for his income and start living on that while you try for the baby. Use your income in the mean time to knock out the house and invest what's left.

[@susieare]

It's totally doable! She just doesn't want to down grade her 'lifestyle'. I agree with John that having kids changes EVERYTHING! I think with this ladies attitude to parenting (I agree with her wholeheartedly) she will be homeschooling before she knows it and happy on a lower household income with a strong family ❤

[@giaholmed2626]

This woman is not going to choose a path of poverty for herself or her offspring.Please respect that.

[@_nibabaisme]

@@giaholmed2626 fr idk why people are so dumb, why do people need to choose “poverty” just to have kids? So counterproductive. Why is it bad to want to be at a comfortable (varies for people) financial state to bear kids, and who are these people to tell the caller what’s the right amount of money to be comfortable. LOL

[@neisci]

Poverty is not everybody's badge of honor. Some people are not with struggling, their concerns are valid.

[@EFN86]

We don't live in poverty. We might not go for weekends in the big city or out of country vacations, but we do travel. It's called finding a place to live and work that's affordable. We wouldn't be able to do this in Hawaii or most of California. But as long as you follow Dave's plan and don't live outside your means, you can definitely live on 70k a year without being in poverty. You just have to prioritize living responsibly so you can stay home with kids. That means you won't have a 4k tv in every room, 9 different streaming services, and a starbucks every other morning.

[@cule2160]

She'll never be satisfied in her life.

[@angryox3102]

She’s a high income earner and he’s an average earner. That has to be difficult for them both.

[@cule2160]

@@angryox3102 she's afraid to settle

[@Thai.H]

He's above average. Average is 45k ​@@angryox3102

[@Thai.H]

​@@cule2160she's definitely afraid to settle

[@birsancristina9278]

She seems pretty satisfied with her life as it is. He's the one unsatisfied wanting to have a child on his joke of an income. He's 100% relying on her and/or her savings to keep them afloat 3 years after the baby comes. That's not ok.

[@futurefunk88eddins96]

I feel so sorry for her husband.

[@ihateallyall]

don’t be. a strong man would laugh at her and walk away. he’s probably a BETAAAAA

[@ThatsTheWayItGoes]

Please he is living the good life!

[@jim2386]

@@ThatsTheWayItGoesno amount of money would make me happy when I’d have to deal with that one so anxious and didn’t respect me. This one definitely made me thankful for my family :)

[@connie0613]

I’m glad im not her kid, I feel ill be stressed as hell if I was

[@ThatsTheWayItGoes]

@@jim2386 Then why is he still with her and engaging in conversations about having a child?

[@CG-MP]

My concern with this woman is her extreme anxiety. That will screw up a kid, whether you stay home or not. This isn't a money issue, it's a baggage problem.

[@DevHazy]

Yep

[@katemiller7874]

Absolutely. All of your anxiety transfers to children.

[@lydiach3426]

Exactly

[@TheHobbyistT]

From someone with 2 kids- you Hit the nail on the head

[@lot2196]

$240K with paid off house? That's not enough? This is disgusting.

[@thriftypinklady]

She’s making $170k of that. If she becomes a SAHM they will have to live off of $70k w an extra person to feed.

[@paigemarino2799]

You mean 70k?

[@KS-cl8br]

she is saying 70k isnt enough ... because her income would be gone

[@cur244]

@@thriftypinklady Definitely doable for most people. Plus making 240k they should have been able to easily save 75k a year.

[@teresaellis7088]

If we can raise 2 kids on army pay anyone can.I didn’t have family or people I trusted.We had one car and never took vacation except to go home.

[@SL-ud7tf]

I'm half way in and I'm exhausted. Edit: She's holding back on stuff. She's unsure about her life or not content. She isn't ready for kids or maybe secretly doesn't ever want any! Be interesting to hear the husband's story.

[@birsancristina9278]

I don't think she wants kids at all but she doesn't want to tell him which is so wrong.

[@RepentImmediately]

She made it clear that children are optional.

[@MrsGarcia_x]

Bingo. She said she feels the societal pressure to have kids, but she’s dreading it. As someone whose mother clearly resented having kids because motherhood took her away from her career & comfortable life, people who don’t genuinely want to raise children should not commit to it.

[@emmajones8590]

@@birsancristina9278 Yes, she sounds like one of those men, who are never quite 'ready to have kids' and keep the woman waiting around until she is too old to have any. Then then often go off with a younger woman and start a family.

[@elainebmack]

You did better than I did. I was out @1:57.

[@martaehulech6474]

No amount of money wil calm her anxiety. So sad...

[@BestShootermanUbz]

This is anxiety created by delusion

[@numerous_use]

A few videos ago a lady called about her construction worker husband wanting to be a stay at home dad and everyone was giving him a hard time assuming the worst - He's lazy, he thinks its going to be easy... so on and so forth. So this caller, we don't blink an eye at this women who wants to drop a 170k salary to be a stay at home mom and expect her husband to just make more money in order to have children. My brother is a single dad on 50k salary he pays for day care and is able to afford everything. I wonder what type of lifestyle they are living she thinks he needs to make over 100k.

[@Alex-qx4qw]

They do live in palm beach which is pretty expensive but their house is already almost paid off. Financially they are in a good spot to have children but a family living off of 70k in palm beach while also having been used to a certain lifestyle pre - kid will for sure need to give up some things. She wants to have her cake and eat it too.

[@Ixiink]

It’s all I can think about. She should quit and he should take care of the kid for the first few years if she’s so anal about money

[@cynthiakila1161]

Depend on the state 100k is the minimum

[@noahhabbershaw8177]

​@cynthiakila1161 nah bro. Your a brokie if you make less than a mill a year. Won't he able ro feed yourself and woman should totally dump any guy If he's not making at least 900k

[@xafbxmoto269]

@@noahhabbershaw8177Coming from a guy who can’t even spell and has a picture of a walmart bicycle for his profile picture 😂

[@mellowbirddreamer77]

Kari, it's okay to not have kids. In fact, you should consider not having any. You don't sound particularly excited. I'm 31 and married. My husband and I want to build a business. You can find something meaningful like that to do with your husband but having kids just because it's checking a box is not the answer.

[@alancold1427]

Perfectly said

[@Achu.o]

This woman is the embodiment of the girl boss and she's managed to perfectly craft every aspect of her life except one: children. She seems like she wants kids because it's the next step, not because she actually wants to be a mother. She wants to stay home with the baby, but only if her husband makes enough money to maintain her standard of living. She's afraid of having kids because there are so many unpredictable variables that she can't control. What if the child is disabled and needs more care and resources? What if having kids puts a strain on their marriage? What if she's not a good mom? She's scared of the unknown and it's making her question everything.

[@domenez]

Money is not meant to control people rather it is meant to be put to work producing more money for you. You cannot build wealth without putting money in its rightful place

[@adamdouglas9888]

My outlook on money changed when I realized someone making $200K can retire broke & someone making $80K can retire a millionaire. With the current market movement, you have $100K to invest. Where are you investing it?

[@ivar766]

You're correct!! I make a lot of money without relying on the government. Investing in stocks and digital currencies is beneficial at this moment .

[@charles2395]

I operate a wide- range of Investments with help from My Financial Adviser. My advice is to get a professional who will help you, plan and enhance your management skills. For the record, working with Stacey Macken, has been an amazing experience.

[@tryleraaron9244]

Honestly, I'm surprised that this mrs Stacey Macken is mentioned here, came across a testimony about her from one of the beneficiaries on the CNBC news, she seems to be doing extremely well.

[@inicMich-rc5wo]

You trade with Stacey Macken too? Wow that woman has been a blessing to me and my family.

[@MrRaErickson]

You make 170,000 Jesus let your man stay home. That makes the most sense.

[@jim2386]

She’s learning you can’t always have it all and you have to make some hard decisions and sacrifices in life

[@lychee_tea_time]

@@jim2386 parenting 101

[@connorgoodin8065]

lol wants to stay home and sees a kid as a way out. She literally said she is dreading having a kid but “wants one”. This chick is psycho.

[@14elvira14]

Marry at your level people. Talk in depth about the details of having kids before marriage.

[@ansleysproull5637]

“Your needs are nonsense” 😅 bingo

[@SlimShadid]

She's anxious and trying to control too much of everything. Even the idea of dreading the baby phase was not a good thing to hear her say (kids are babies for a big chunk of their childhood). That anxiety is going to bite her and her whole family in the ass if she cant get it under control.

[@14elvira14]

She said the kids are an investment?? Lol surprise.. you'll be disappointed by kids

[@JustOne-qe7jl]

She needs to search her heart to figure out if she really wants to be a mother. Tough one but her insecurities need to be addressed first before having a baby.

[@francestaylor9156]

And the baby phase is actually the easier part hahahaha

[@snowcone393]

She doesn’t want kids. She wishes she was married to herself though.

[@14elvira14]

Right. Doesn't sound like she has much business having kids or being married which is okay!! Put on the brakes people, stop feeling pressure by the people around you starting families!

[@Shortballa11]

@@14elvira14 She actually sounds rlly responsible. I wish more people prepared financially like and less families would live on welfare.

[@ckg5161]

@@Shortballa11yes all we hear from the Ramsey show is people calling in saying they’re in debt, have 4 kids with giant payments on credit cards, etc. these people are not them. And it’s frustrating cus why is it frowned upon to plan ahead?

[@lychee_tea_time]

She wants them without making any sacrifices

[@Shortballa11]

@@ckg5161 exactly

[@Private.eye.007]

The caller doesn't love or value her husband. She resents him for not making more money than her. This is because she doesn't look at him as a partner to walk with her in life, but rather an economic production unit. Her anxiety about money is going to ruin and end their relationship as soon as the baby comes. Either she'll rely on him and resent him because he makes "only" $70k which by the way is more than average, or she'll let her anxiety around money drive her to go back to work as soon as possible, and she'll resent him as though he forced her to do that. When she divorces him, she'll frame the situation as his fault and as though he wasn't doing enough, as though her hand is forced. In couples where the wife makes more money, after they have their kids, most of the wives would rather co-parent from separate households than give their children every advantage by having both parents in the house. Pay attention to John's observation that they essentially don't have a problem. The thing that I think he wanted to say, and that he pivoted away from, is that if she feels that $100k is so important of a number for the household income, and she's so well-read that the baby needs a loving parent in the home ... why not just have the dad stay at home with the kid while she works ? It's a win for everyone. I'm deeply curious how she would have reacted if Dr. Melony put that very logic option to her.

[@terriesmith2616]

You hit the nail on the head with your analysis. When she leaves him, she's definitely frame it as his fault. This is not about money. It's about her losing respect for her husband because he makes less money than her. She doesn't see her husband as an equal partner but an economic unit (as you stated). There is no respect there. Love and respect are not the same thing.

[@alluringbliss4165]

Wow, you just have issues 😂

[@transistor3115]

Damn this guy definitely got divorced lol.

[@TheSfenn]

Some of that is society and what she was taught. Many young girls are taught that their husband is the traditional bread winner. She believes the mother should stay home too, so I think these were things that were ingrained in her. I don’t think it is that easy to say she doesn’t respect him, I think it is what she was taught was the norm. I don’t think she will leave him for someone making more money.

[@williamjohn8633]

Feminism and "equality" betray biology. A woman doesn't respect a husband who makes less than she does. She's already bored of her relationship and is contemplating an exit. I see this happen all the time in my area of work where women work for 10-15 years only to out-earn their husbands and file the inevitable divorce. It's a power dynamic

[@melissab3217]

If you're dreading it, don't do it. There are many other ways to have children in your life - volunteering, fostering, mentoring. Not everyone has to have biological kids.

[@jim2386]

While I 100% agree with you, if I looked back and said “we made a quarter million dollars, paid off the house, had minimal bills, but I didn’t have a kid because we didn’t have enough to be comfortable….” Man I’d fall really regretful later on once I realize what really is important in life. SAH parent is a luxury very few people get to do. She needs to pick priorities. If she wants to stay at home, she has to cut her lifestyle or find a new hubby, or not have kids. I think she’s putting unrealistic requirements on having a kid. If she stays the course and doesn’t have kids she’ll blame her husband even though she made those choices.

[@melissab3217]

@@jim2386 I can definitely see your point. I am not convinced that she's passionate about having kids, though. It feels like she loves working and that having kids is more of a checkmark to cross of life's list. I also picked up on the FOMO now that her friends are having kids. Even if she has the luxuries few dream of, if she isn't fully willing to commit herself, it might be best to not. At the end of the day, though, it's her decision to make.

[@jim2386]

@@melissab3217 yep. My friend that got married are like that. They came to me and they said “we are not having kids” I told them to just make sure they’re 1000% sure. If they are, great. The rest of your life is a long time if you thought you wanted kids but now you do but it’s too late. Just give it a lot of thought and think about what you want your future to look like versus “this is my situation right now so based on THIS specific point in time, kids are not happening” I know when I was just married I was worried/stressed about kids because it’s a lot of responsibility and I was “maybe I do maybe I don’t….” I wouldn’t trade it for the world now. It’s not for everyone for sure, but man, you better be confident in whichever decision you make are take responsibility for how it turns out :)

[@thecure3982]

@@melissab3217 this is one of the best comments and very supportive of women.

[@DevHazy]

Yep

[@moose1442]

I see where she's coming from. My wife and I are having a similar conversation. I make 6 figures and my wife is a nurse, we have 1 kid and are talking about a second kid, she wants to be able to be a stay at home Mom but she has a hard time giving up the ability to eat out and shop without a lot of worries. She puts the burden on herself to have that life because I've showed her that our needs will be met if she stops working, but she wants the extra security. It's all valid. Its just an adjustment and its one that both have to be okay with.

[@ihateallyall]

this is why the US is fucked. you make over 100K, your wife is a nurse so she makes considerably more than the average person because her industry charges $50 for a damn ibuprofen, so yall are better off than like, what, at LEAST 60% of americans? and yall are stressing that you cannot afford more kids and worried that you can’t eat out and shop all the time? jesus christ! sorry to sound like a prick but, talk about having it good. if you value freely eating out when you like over having another CHILD, don’t have one.

[@carolynngockel3670]

What about part-time work? I know a lot of women (myself included) who prefer that to be full-time stay at home mom. My kids seem to be well adjusted. My mom, who had to put us in daycare early because my dad ran off, says how well adjusted they seem.

[@moose1442]

@@carolynngockel3670 She's been working part-time for about a year now and its been working good, but she feels like she's missing out on a lot of time with the baby. Especially as we start making plans for baby #2, she's feeling the desire to stay at home. She's also considered a remote job, but since she's a emergency room nurse thats just a big change in her career that might be tough.

[@alanbennett133]

Which does she want more? A child and not have to go to work, or to go out to eat and live lavishly?

[@RShaun]

@@alanbennett133They don’t have the second kid yet 😂😂.

[@garfieldGG]

Let him be the one to stay home. You make really good money jeez 😂. Edit: holy moly, this woman’s life is GOOD, what on earth is making her act like this?!

[@Diashi1267]

Its biological. Look up hypergamy

[@dabd8175]

Her gender

[@alwaysyouramanda]

If at least one parent isn’t “acting like this” humanity wouldn’t be here 😂

[@garfieldGG]

@@Diashi1267 my wife makes more than me and doesn’t act like a crazy person lol

[@Alex-qx4qw]

✨childhood trauma ✨

[@BrandonBurch]

This woman has no idea how blessed she is. I don't even know what I would do with 50k a year.

[@giaholmed2626]

She won’t be blessed in a 70k HH with a screaming infant . Can we just normalize that it’s ok not to want kids?

[@marisolpooh1]

Exactly 👍 I’ve never made 50k a year, and I live happy and comfortably with my 2 kids 👧 🧒 ❤🙏🏻

[@Shifting_Ideals]

How many months till she decides to go be a single mom with her $175k?

[@actual_doge3221]

I think that's what I would have done if I had that amount of money

[@leannebuntain2614]

Agree, husband is dragging on her life.

[@yota8325]

​@@leannebuntain2614she's dragging on his. All she cares about is money.

[@DevHazy]

Yep

[@dahliaherrod4301]

​@@leannebuntain2614how is he a drag? He's making twice the national average and has financial discipline. She's her own problem

[@MartyPaparty]

The caller appears to be a very results-driven person, a go-getter. I am wondering if in her mind she is thinking "I have to stay at home because based on the studies kids are XXX when they are looked after by a parent than by someone else". And I might be wrong, but in the end after 6 months of staying at home, she might not be satisfied with her life of staying at home because there are no end goals in parenting. It is not a sales cycle. I hope she can find a good middle ground and reflect on how she imagines her career and motherhood and what she wants still to accomplish.

[@RepentImmediately]

Most parents are not fulfilled. I don't know any who are.

[@iw5207]

I think all those statistics have her in a choke hold . I know regardless that I wasn’t staying at home . It wasn’t a life I was interested in living (and still am not ) . I’m a working mom and never considered anything else . How our kids turn out is on us . I haven’t heard this lady say she’s excited about staying home . And that’s okay . She needs to realize that if that’s the case

[@DevHazy]

Yep. I know ppl like this

[@DevHazy]

@@RepentImmediatelylolololi

[@katemiller7874]

@auem- it’s not about your fulfillment it’s about the children. Parents fulfillment comes later when you have raised well adjusted, happy children that turn into amazing adults. That’s why you have to love your children and be in it 100%

[@heathersnyder2909]

Sell stuff from home girl! I’m in sales, single mom, wfh and will make 350 this year. You can do it!

[@MrHCify]

What are you selling 😂

[@blaket8662]

​@@MrHCify350? She sellin coke

[@redflag4255]

@@MrHCify "stuff"

[@lissawhitney]

@@redflag4255😂

[@brianthornton8781]

350 doing what???

[@sunnymeadow575]

Having kids is such a big deal. It's probably good that she is thinking so hard about it, especially with how things are going in the world.

[@izzywox8246]

At what point do you realize you don’t want kids? I don’t think she wants them. She would’ve had them

[@actual_doge3221]

The way I feel is that when you consider everything all together it's actually better just not to. Even if you have all the money.

[@rickyfiorentina]

@@actual_doge3221 If your goal is to become a parent, have the right partner/ financial means and want to continue your legacy/family name then have them. If not, then don't. It's a pretty straightforward decision.

[@ST-rj8iu]

@@izzywox8246 having a baby at the expense of everything else is why so many parents are miserable. She does want them and wants them to have a good life. Many people cannot pay a few bucks for their kids school lunch.

[@ckg5161]

So true. Why are people having kids & then winding up in debt? Zero planning & zero idea of what it takes to raise a child financially & otherwise. I mean, kids are a huge expense! She should have talked more about that or otherwise wouldn’t be getting roasted in the comments

[@sorenbyrd2342]

I am childfree by choice, and about 3 minutes into the call, I questioned if this woman may not actually want children, but feels pressured to do so as a "have to". Before accepting that I just genuinely DO NOT want to have children, I sounded much like this woman, coming up with all the excuses in the world about money, security, support, childcare ect.. when in reality I just... do not want children... it was simple. I'm curious if she'll come to the same conclusion...

[@marksimmons7906]

I don't want to sound harsh, but this lady's not ready to have kids yet. You have to both really want it. And you both have to be really clear that there are concessions and trade-offs in those first couple of years, if not forever. My wife and I are both full-time, are kids are 10 and 15 now and life has gotten a lot easier. But we were both 100% on board with wanting to start a family, and knowing that we'd have to both make some changes and concessions for that to happen. This lady is trying to just control way too much. And I have this feeling she wants to do it because it's right time, and she's going to feel resentful about lost opportunity by taking time away from her career.

[@katemiller7874]

I totally agree. They over control and analyze when all you need to do is sacrifice.

[@firefly9838]

Which is silly... you can always jump back in a career later. I have seen countless people do it.

[@thedavesiknow4598]

I don't understand why she can't work from home after a year or so? She can make a ton of money in a remote Sales position no problem.

[@RepentImmediately]

And if she ends up having a special needs child? Doesn't every child have ADHD and Autism these days?

[@AlorsonDanseX]

There's no such thing as *a ton* of money ☠️ illiterate one

[@MyMostBeautifuCinema]

Working from home means working. Yes you’ll have downtime but it’s not exactly like she can take care of her 1-2 year-old and focus on her work at the same time. At least not the job I have.

[@thedavesiknow4598]

@@MyMostBeautifuCinema Well the cool thing for her is she makes really good money and they would be able to hire somebody to come nanny part time while mom gets some work done

[@Shortballa11]

agreed. If she is $170k good at sales, she can easily work a part time at home sales job

[@elanafelberg1733]

Once again Dr. Delony is absolutely correct, she is afraid to have a child with her husband she she's trying to come up with reasons/excuses to prolong it!! Also towards the end of the conversation I can tell that she has enourmous anxiety and she definitely needs to deal with her issues and she's terrified of having a child.

[@user-kp6we9qw7i]

Her concern is valid. Currently two people are living off $270,000 a year. If they have a baby and she quits her job three people would be living off of $70,000 a year. That’s a dramatic difference and not an easy adjustment.

[@todd2324]

Not if the house is paid off.

[@thecure3982]

lol thank you for being honest.

[@ST-rj8iu]

@@todd2324 lol. just knocking off 200k a year? No big deal? All the activities they do and vacations they probably go on will be over. That could put a real wrench in the marriage. They have a great life! Nobody that has money wants to go back to poverty.

[@NealBurkard-ut1oo]

Yeah it's odd that she's acting like she's just realizing this. "I didn't want kids so we can afford to live in wpb" "I changed my mind I want kids, but wait all my choices will determine I can't afford to raise kids and quit my job while affording living in wbp 😮"

[@todd2324]

@ST-rj8iu It's not a big deal if she is honest about what she really cares about. She didn't mention anything about going on vacations and activities. Those are your words. She called in because she wants to be a stay at home mom. I know a guy who makes just over 70K/year. Him and his stay at home wife have two kids, a mortgage, and bills just like anyone else. It's all a matter of having the right perspective, living within your means, and valuing what's most important.

[@zeroounce8874]

Lady, you are smart. You will figure it out. While you stay with kids at home you can do something from home. You can do literally anything! For example design something to make mothers or child’s life easier. You have drive so you can do anything while taking care of babies. Now please tell me what are you selling? I need to get on that business ASAP 😂

[@EllenBZ]

At least she thinks about it before having kids. Not a lot of people can say that….

[@alberttang6955]

The husband staying home is a viable solution. It preserves her 170k annual income and they only take a 70k hit if he stops working. But according to the caller, she's done her research and her staying home is better for the baby, which is how she is putting a rational spin on the situation. She is so full of anxiety that she doesn't actually trust her husband to stay home and properly care for an infant. Unfortunately, that anxiety also causes her to question her husband's competence as a provider if they have to rely on his income, which is too low to make her feel safe.

[@zeroounce8874]

You can’t change biology. Babies need mother full time.

[@Shortballa11]

I mean we didn't hear his side of it either. I make 75k and I wouldnt wanna be a stay at home dad in any situation. She can easily take maternity leave and then transition to a part time sales position. She is obviously great at what she does so why not continue making at least $50k?

[@Dark_AbsoI]

If he stays at home she will resent him even more. She already doesn’t respect him. She’s gonna feel like he’s beneath her. Imagine how he must feel knowing his wife thinks he’s not good enough to be a father. That’s what she’s communicating to him. “You don’t make enough for me to want to bear your child.”

[@Shortballa11]

@@Dark_AbsoI yall reaching. She is communicating that losing $170k income is a big deal, which is a very reasonable conclusion. I would challenge anybody in the comments to lose 71% of their income and add a baby and see how comfortable you feel.

[@janise01]

That "research" was 100% a Google search phrased in a way to confirm her own preconceived bias. If the dad actually parents there's 0 additional benefit to the mom staying home over dad.

[@Grand1Admiral]

Trust me, your husband makes enough for a baby and you to stay home. You will need to change priorities and budget. Money is a tool and not the end of all.

[@warrensloan3467]

Ugh. The idea of waiting just one year and banking as much of her income as possible which would enable them to have an easier transition period while they live on one income never once came up. Shocking. I can’t imagine trying to build a family with someone who thinks this way.

[@DevHazy]

Yep. Why can’t she save 100k?

[@dahliaherrod4301]

That's my first thought too

[@katemiller7874]

She’s very close to paying off her home. Do that

[@iamstarfox87]

The average family does not make 74k a year. They make 59k a year. Having said that, don't quit a 170k job to have a kid. She will regret it when they start having financial fights

[@michaelallen3304]

You’re right. She should wait until she is infertile to try having kids. That’ll lead to a better marriage.

[@Caseinpoint-f8z]

@@iamstarfox87 she should leave so she can find a man as ambitious as she is. They are out there but she won’t find one married to a gold digger.

[@joygarrett8397]

She can’t see just how fortunate she is!!!! Oh my!!!!! I should clarify . . She obviously knows how well off she is now in terms of income; she is struggling with a reduced income & costs children bring forth . . Yet will be completely debt free/house paid for by time baby comes which gives her A Lot more freedom & choices (even down to one income) than most folks have during this time. . .

[@ThatsTheWayItGoes]

She does see how fortunate she is and wants her child to have the same. Why is that bad?

[@benmyers9030]

​@@ThatsTheWayItGoes her kid doesn't need a bunch of money. Being rich isn't good for kids

[@ThatsTheWayItGoes]

@@benmyers9030 Who said anything about giving the child money or being rich?

[@benmyers9030]

​@@ThatsTheWayItGoes70k is plenty of money which is what she doesn't want to do. She'll have to eat at home and no fancy vacations. Drive cheap cars. She wants a 240k lifestyle that she currently has. Let me know if it's still too hard to understand

[@ThatsTheWayItGoes]

@@benmyers9030 So you think it’s a good idea to increase your expenses while decreasing the amount of money you have? That is actually hard to understand so yes, please explain that to me.

[@mewsymom1040]

I was iced out of groups and conversations because I was a SAHM. Society has the “What do you do?” mentality. It stung, but our family is so much better and stronger for OUR sacrifices. Understanding my ego helped me take pride in this unseen, yet fundamental and rewarding lifestyle.

[@thecure3982]

I respect your sacrifices I understand. They are hard on SAHM but don't worry there is a thriving online community of you all living it up now. I am taking classes from one.

[@DevHazy]

Move to Oklahoma

[@francestaylor9156]

Eh who cares about those people. I worked before I had kids. I worked at one of the top firms in my field. I much prefer being a SAHM. Those people can kick rocks. Never consider it a rejection but just a great opportunity to not have wasted your time on lame people.

[@katemiller7874]

Find a mommy group honey. That’s what I did in the early 2000’s.

[@sorenbyrd2342]

Being an SAHM is an important job. What many career-focused women don't realize is that being good at [insert some career] doesn't automatically mean they will be good at parenting. Often, those are very different skill sets.

[@swilliams9511]

I get it.. when you grow up financially unstable .. you don’t want to bring kids into financial uncertainty. Also when the bread winner quits things can get scary. Not to mention the pressure to have kids when the bio clock is ticking is another level of stress.

[@ganymedehedgehog371]

70k in Florida with no car or home payments isn’t uncertainty.

[@ervinfowlkes8326]

😂 she thinks they’re going out to eat for the next 3 years!! Lovingly laughing with her. Grateful she had the courage to call and get help.

[@cooperschmitz2649]

Are you saying that people with babies can’t go out to eat?

[@bunaynayslay]

@@cooperschmitz2649 shut up

[@RepentImmediately]

They can definitely afford a sitter if she keeps working and he stays home.

[@yota8325]

​@@cooperschmitz2649they can but it's so unnecessary to do it often with young kids

[@starspaceschool587]

@@RepentImmediatelysitter? They can afford a full time highly qualified nanny.

[@rocknrollresignation93]

She’s going to leave him

[@salvatorjo]

Yep

[@champagne4bfast]

Did you listen to the same show? She gushed with respect and love when she talked about him.

[@flashthecorgi2053]

@@champagne4bfastEh I don’t know about that. You could hear a little disdain in her voice when she was saying she asked him to quit his passion and get another job and he was very reluctant. I think Dr. John did nail it she’s loosing respect for him in some ways.

[@champagne4bfast]

@@flashthecorgi2053 I heard him say that too but that did t make it true. I didn’t hear one bit of doubt about her husband. She expressed nothing but respect for what he did for a career. She’s a numbers person. All she was looking at were the numbers and that was addressed. Did you notice that dr J dropped his focus on her not respecting her husband? Because it wasn’t accurate.

[@flashthecorgi2053]

@@champagne4bfast 6:01 Listen to her voice tone around when she said she asked him to stop his passion and get another job. There was definitely some distain. Even Dr. John heard it which is why he told her that was complete and total nonsense! I do believe she loves her husband but there is some lack of respect starting to happen there OR will start to happen IF he doesn’t make the 100k.

[@theeladyj]

70k a year and trying to have a child in palm beach?? Yea he needs to make more honestly

[@thecure3982]

thank you

[@xafbxmoto269]

What’s the problem if their house is paid off

[@funicon3689]

a guy who made more money wouldnt be with her though. thats why shes with him and not a rich guy

[@imnezu8940]

Lmfao are you kidding me the wife is making 170k and their home is pretty much paid off. she just wants to be a stay at home mom and be supported by her husband. She claims to love his job and his passion for it yet resents him because he doesn’t make enough. They could easily move and live off 70k or better yet the father could be stay at home while she works. It’s disgusting to demand that your husband quit a career he loves and cares about because his wife wants to be supported while she sits at home. That life style is completely fine she just needs to accept they will have to do that off 70k a year. If I was this man I would leave this disgusting vile woman instantly and never look back. She’s clearly never had respect for him. She’ll be a great single mom.

[@seabreeze8467]

Kari, you guys are doing great. It's totally worth the sacrifice! Your anxiety is understandable given your background but you guys are on a different level. Relax and go have your baby!

[@privacyplease1556]

They’re taking a 70% cut in household income. It ABSOLUTELY is about money. That’s a very legitimate concern. This is why women shouldn’t be the breadwinner. When you leave work to have a baby, you NEED the security of your husband making more.

[@BradDiBenedetto]

This is one of those “I can’t have everything I want exactly the way I want it so something has to change to make my life absolutely perfect” calls

[@DevHazy]

Literally omg. So damaging to kids

[@CG-MP]

she's not ready to have a kid. she said it herself "I'm actually kind of dreading it." She just feels pressured because of her age and her social circles. I'm actually pregnant with my first and 30. I thought I was ready, but those pregnancy hormones kicked in and everything he's saying about how a baby will blow up everything rings true. I had to go through a legit grieving process over my 20's and the sacrifices I am making and will have to continue to make. Then I found out it's going to be a boy and had a whole new box of issues to unpack. It's a forced growth process! I'm at 17 weeks now and feeling much more leveled out. Bless my patient husband ❤

[@Hiker2110]

This is so well written. I'm glad that you're feeling better. I'm 31 and also pregnant with my first, so I definitely feel this. Best wishes to you! 😊

[@IFBBProYeo]

I'm proud of this lady for wanting to be prepared financially. I don't think it's unreasonable number at all. And what she knows in her heart is that if anything goes wrong that 70k is not going to be able to cut it and then the struggle begins. But she can't take the passion job from her husband because he will forever resent her for it, she doesn't want to. Maybe there's a way she can save up more of her money to make up the difference, 30k in savings per year for what 4 years or 5 years? She's a smart woman with savings, use that. And John is absolutely right- no matter what their financial position, that child is going to blow up everything they knew about their life. BUT When you are financially stable, at least that is not a huge concern! What I don't like is that he seems to be convincing her that the finances are fine, She's just feeling anxious, but something about her intuition is telling her that they are going to need this money and I would rather be safe than sorry. Because if she allows someone to convince her that they don't need that much money and then they end up needing it, It's like she knew all along. And know who wants to worry about every single freaking meal? It's not about going out to eat!! It's the stress around every single decision. Including if they can eat that night. That is not how she wants to raise a kid and that is perfectly acceptable!!!

[@ckg5161]

Such a good comment. I don’t understand the roasting in the comments.. it’s like most of America is in debt likely because of having kids in difficult financial circumstances? And this caller is wrong for trying to figure things out in advance?!

[@IFBBProYeo]

@@ckg5161 thanks!! Having kids changes everything! And that is the one thing that she knows will keep her safe. Luckily she's got a great life going on! But that is also because everything is taken care of. I think she also knows that it would break her heart to have to fight about finances. That's a life she does NOT want to live & stress she doesn't want to find herself in when she knew better. I agree that the people telling her to just go for it and she will figure it out as she goes are just the type of people who were also parents that did not plan ahead and they struggled but it turned out somewhat okay so she'll be fine. That's not the advice she was looking for.

[@ganymedehedgehog371]

She won’t have a mortgage or house payments so they’ll have more than enough for a normal life

[@BrotherhoodWorkshop]

As a new dad who has a tendency to stress about money, you got this girl. It's gonna be ok.

[@katemiller7874]

You got this too honey. Enjoy that baby

[@plamondonworks6948]

We made less than 50k when we started having kids and lived within our means, meaning ate out rarely, I cloth diapered, I stayed at home, he worked extra hard. We both love kids and are comfortable with sacrifice and going without. If you're not a resilient type, yeah, kids are probably not for you, even if you make millions

[@Jusaguy000]

“ I just want to stay home “ sums it up .

[@brendaababey]

Stay at home mom for 12 years .We had two kids with a 70k and we still went on vacation and had a comfortable life . Now we have 3 with a 120k income and can’t feel the difference because we still have the same lifestyle . I don’t think it’s about money it’s about how you handle what you have . I run a business and I actually don’t care for it as much as I care for my kids the money from it doesn’t “fulfill “ me as much as being present but once they are all in school I’ll be going full force on my education and business ❤

[@B311A_]

Worst case after 8 months, it’s tight and she goes back to work, even part-time or remote or he gets a second job. Nothing is forever and you pivot, what should be more concerning to her is that if she’s off for 4 years, she won’t walk back into that compensation right away. I don’t think she truly wants kids based on the conversation but is checking off a box like she has to, I’m also confused as to how she’d be good at sales when she talks in circles and speaks without thinking. As someone who works in b2b sales, I was shocked.

[@williamedward3198]

75 is nothing in WPB. She has a legitimate fiscal worry of constraint here.

[@susi09]

Thank you! This advice misses the mark completely

[@_nibabaisme]

Idk why people be trashing her, just because others can live off 50k with 4 kids in some cheap place (or not), doesn’t mean the caller wants / should live that lifestyle?

[@actual_doge3221]

​She doesn't want that lifestyle, she shouldn't have kids. Everybody makes sacrifices, that's normal. One or the other.

[@funicon3689]

just move to an area you can afford...

[@ckg5161]

@@funicon3689 not always relevant - why do you think she & her husband are able to make the salaries they do? A lot of has to do with the area they live. And living on $70k is truly hard in south Florida. Especially if you want to put $ away for retirement - most Americans aren’t saving for their futures

[@Flare6]

Debt free, no mortgage, full funded emergency fund - they are financially okay. Dr John did a great job helping her see that her worries were not about the metrics.

[@loveubye2288]

Build the life you want, nobody else is gonna have to live it. There's nothing wrong with having standards. 70k for a family of 3-4 is not a comfortable living. Don't have kids if the conditions aren't right. People want you to be a "normal" woman and struggle as a mom as if that was virtuous.

[@link10909]

If you want comfort don't have kids... Period. Struggle isn't good or bad, it can when dealt with well resulting in building virtues or poorly leading to vices. But for those whom find struggle to be an enemy, avoid parenthood altogether, you lack the qualifications and are likely to do poorly at it.

[@ckg5161]

Exactly! Wanting to provide a certain type of quality life for your family isn’t a bad thing. $70k doesn’t go as far as it used to

[@tonytharp7315]

Resentment is building and will kill this relationship. If she leaves her 170k salary to be a stay at home mom and they struggle financially, she'll resent him. If he stays home with the baby and she keeps working, she'll resent him because she feels babies should be with thier moms for the first 3 years. If they don't have a baby because she feels they dont have a big enough dual income she will blame him and resent him that they are childless. There is no way to win in this scenario. She should just be honest with herself that although she may love her husband , she would rather give that up to start a family with someone who makes enough money to support the lifestyle she thinks she wants.

[@thecure3982]

This is a great response. I wish she were given permission to leave. She is living in Palm Beach which is like Beverly Hills. She will be giving up income AND adding expenses at the same time!!!! He isn't passionate enough about his wife to sacrifice and that lack of generosity is the problem for me more than the income to be honest.

[@kennethnilsson9743]

And if she makes him change his job/passion he wil resent her.

[@DaishaView]

I understand her wanting to stay home with the kid but I’d keep working 😅 I’m childfree though so I’m biased. We have similar salaries and I am also 31. I couldn’t imagine taking a 3 year break in this economy 😩 bottom line, the husband ain’t making 100k so either you stay home and learn to live on 70k or you keep working and don’t have the kid! lol EDIT: OR as someone else mentioned, maybe husband can stay at home and they can still be bringing in 170k! Better than a family of 3 on 70k and the baby will still have a consistent parent.

[@DaishaView]

EDIT 2: wait she said she’s dreading being a stay at home mom?? 🤣😭 then why do it?? Seems like she just doing it because she read it somewhere that it’s a good idea. Ma’am DONT DO IT! You do not want this lol.

[@NvrDieNvrSurrender]

She doesn't like or want to relinquish control, nor does she like being vulnerable. When she went up an octave, I knew he had hit the nail on the head. She might be in sales, but you can't sell your way out of this one. 😅

[@MrRaErickson]

I love how he put her in her place. Her tone changed pretty quick.

[@RoscoeB44]

Her husband should try that once in a while

[@bres9977]

This was a good call. I wanted to let her know there is no perfect time to have kids, however there is a “better” time. Even with that, children are unpredictable and will surely throw a wrench in any perfect “plan” a parent, or parents, have in their heads. Having a child isn’t a decision you can just change your mind or turn your back on. You have to take the good with the bad and the highs with the lows because they WILL happen, it’s just a matter of time.

[@ThePrincessWorrior]

I see where she’s coming from and going at. Both are living in $240k and after kid, 3 will live on $70k. That’s a significant cut there. $70k is less than a third of what they 2 have been living on and will be 3 living off of that, is scary.

[@thecure3982]

In Palm Beach aka Beverly Hills at that!

[@ckg5161]

Yes $70 in the Midwest is different than $70k in south Florida!

[@MariaDeBBY1]

Exactly! As much as she wants to control things, I totally get where she's coming from. Wish he would've spoke to that more.

[@Vats144]

100% I don’t know why people are being so rude. The pressure of being pregnant/giving birth with a sales job that I’m sure is stressful PLUS being the main breadwinner is a lot.

[@kurtjames9487]

It's only "scary" if you're being unreasonable. Stop being neurotic and whatever is perceived as scary goes away.

[@luck9837]

Calls like this make me think true love doesn’t actually exist….

[@Mmmmkaaay]

There's nothing worse than raising a child with a broke dude. Why? Because the mother will be forced to work FT, and then come home and do most of the housework and cooking. There's zero equity. It's awful and it damn near killed me. I told my daughter to NEVER have children unless she and her spouse can afford hired help or for her to stay home. Period. In this woman's case, she should work and HE can stay home and do everything. But men's egos rarely can withstand that, and he will end up cheating or resenting her.

[@JamesReisch]

Women thinking a 70k salary is broke 😂

[@JJJJ-he8bz]

Dudes making 70K how is he broke? Why should he stay home and give a 70K job? This is ridiculous

[@Mmmmkaaay]

@@JamesReisch Maybe not in the shitty Rust Belt, but it's not good money in most cities. Have you seen the price of houses and groceries? Open your eyes.

[@Mmmmkaaay]

@@JJJJ-he8bz She makes more than double! She should work and he can see what it is like to raise kids.

[@JamesReisch]

@@Mmmmkaaay No one said anything about the rust belt. Delusional cope for sure

[@SamBennett9910]

no i get what she’s saying, she has driven them to be an amazing financial place and now she wants to have kids and needs her husband to step up a bit to ensure that they somewhat keep going in the right direction with wealth building. if i was the guy id understand and if i was her id feel the same way

[@SamBennett9910]

that being said the solution is obvious, they should wait another year and bank as much of that 250k income as possible

[@SunRiseEast365]

Dont do it now, Kerry. Wait until he makes more money. You still have health insurance, car insurance, utilities, food, clothes, property taxes, car repairs, house maintenance, maybe credit cards and student loans. Living on 100k w/ a family is very stressful and causes marital problems.

[@thecure3982]

You are telling the truth.

[@murielinez]

Six figure salary or no, having children blows everything up. From being sleep deprived, to the terrible twos, pre-teens, teenagers, education, university and that’s assuming, God willing, your child has no underlying, long term health issues. I have friends who’ve been married over 50 years with children over 50. Looking back it’s odd to realise that we’ve lived 30+ years without our kids at home. Most left home 25, 30 years ago. Taking them to music lessons, watching school sports… all that time consuming stuff necessary to raise our little ones is over in a heartbeat. If Kari is that good at her job surely taking a hiatus will not permanently destroy her earning power. It may take time to get back to a $170k salary but I’d be surprised if being a mother/homemaker for 6 years say will not send her family into long term poverty. My daughter-in-law is an environmentalist and we are all proud of her and grateful for the work she does. She could earn much more money if she tucked her doctorate under her arm and worked in the private sector. However, the sense of wellbeing and the knowledge that her skills are working to save the earth from an existential crisis cannot be given a dollar amount. How much does Kari truly love her husband? The work he does is closer to a calling than a salary generator.

[@TheAngellina90]

I donno if she is ready for a baby, she is acting selfish. The things she say about baby is just messed up she doesn’t have a mother’s mind yet in her. I think she should wait it out

[@Crybaby-cz8et]

she's being rationale

[@francestaylor9156]

She's feeling pressured to have a kid by her friends. Something Dr Deloney missed in the assessment. I don't think she even really wants to have a kid.

[@ganymedehedgehog371]

@@Crybaby-cz8etshe’s rationalizing, she’s not being rational. 70k without car and house payments is just fine. She doesn’t want to give up her quarter million lifestyle and doesn’t respect her husband for making less than her.

[@princetonsnumba1g]

Personally I’m not having kids unless me and my husband make 80k or more. Where I live it costs $2500 a month for a two bedroom in an alright neighborhood. Me and my husband are happily childless until we feel like we are financially able to have kids and have enough money for childcare, vacation, and retirement.

[@ckg5161]

Yes I think this is a responsible & fair take! People just pop out kids then “figure it out” aka grab the credit card & start swiping

[@jonathanpallais3029]

Its a nice thought but unfortunately most kids are not planned , and in most cases is what motivates individuals to strive for more in their lives.

[@titansmgr]

Girl bye

[@aftersolo]

Love John's advice. The comments sadly are very hateful usually. Everybody has their own diagnosis. Lets try to learn about and understand each other and not be so judgemental. Thats what John's message is all about.

[@angelortiz8327]

good sales people are ALWAYS selling. ALWAYS. its hard to get anything through to them for this reason.

[@angelamccarthy4731]

Poor future kid. Poor husband.

[@RepentImmediately]

The kids who suffer are those whose parents just have them without thinking about how they will provide.

[@angelamccarthy4731]

@@RepentImmediately, yes. She’s gonna provide chaos to that kid. Her husband needs to run!

[@sgo1oneill]

@@RepentImmediately Kids suffer from neglect, not from having poor parents.

[@FreeSpirit47]

@@RepentImmediately Completely agree. Having & raising children is expensive. Even the basic needs, especially the first child. When the second child is a different gender from the first one, it's more expensive. I'm watching a couple who lives close to me, struggle so hard. They wouldn't listen to anyone. They can't even take care of themselves. Believing the stupidity of "all we need is love" they became preggo on purpose. Now, that the baby is here, all three are suffering & struggling. They can't afford diapers, so, the baby isn't changed as often. The mother is breast feedong or she is trying yet her calorie intake is too low. Neither parent will listen to anyone. So sad.

[@Shortballa11]

Kids going to live great because the parents are well prepared. Poor kids who are living on well fare or in foster care cuz their parents couldnt provide. Society has brainwashed yall into thinking growing up poor is normal.

[@kenandrieling5885]

This is why i'm forty four years old and not getting married

[@user-dn8hd6xn1e]

Sometimes you just know what you don’t want in your life, and I think it’s okay to say that’s what you need, as long as it’s honest.

[@Toryb168]

Ladies…this is why you need to marry a provider and protector since the beginning! During your dating phase you need to make sure that he’s those things ! If you’re a high earner don’t use your income to upgrade your lifestyle,always live a lifestyle that HE can afford solely on his income,that way your not stuck with this exact predicament We are extremely vulnerable during pregnancy and child bearing years,choose your mates accordingly -sprinkle,sprinkle ❤

[@nicrules77]

🤮🤮

[@Toryb168]

@@nicrules77 you must be a broke triggered beta male😮‍💨😂😂😂😅

[@thecure3982]

lol come through

[@l3zfrancais]

Amen 🙏

[@xafbxmoto269]

Greedy women. Downfall of America

[@anthonyfalco2462]

If your waiting to be ready for a baby youll never have a baby. Just go for it and take it on

[@TherapyGel]

This is dangerous advice. Make sure you can take care of the child's base needs (physical, emotional, social, all of it) at the very least. And you should be financially stable and secure. Not having that initial stability can easily lead to dysfunction and stunted development of the child. Having a child otherwise is irresponsible and putting your child at unnecessary risk. You should wait until you're ready.

[@actual_doge3221]

​@@TherapyGelit's good advice for people that can afford it in a stable family. But she's crazy.

[@katemiller7874]

Exactly. No one is ever really ready mentally because you can’t be. You have no idea what it entails until you walk through it. You’ll figure it out if your smart.

[@tombob4002]

As the 3rd child of 4 total I don't think my parents should of have 4 kids even if that means I wouldn't be born. But I fell like bc of having 4 kids my dad worked his life away and we didn't get the attention that a kid needs or he got burned out by the 3rd one and quit caring as much so I suffered bc of it

[@actual_doge3221]

I know how you feel

[@actual_doge3221]

She's in a really really good place to be having kids and she can't see that. Just one or two though. Nobody needs four

[@chrysiarose]

She felt unsafe and insecure as a child, probably fantasized about being wealthy and secure because her parents never made her feel safe, secure and accepted, and she has no clue how to help a new child of her own feel secure and accepted. She needed to be working on not defending her parents or hiding from her childhood, but working through what took place in order to send that little girl inside of her out to play and to move forward, as John would say.

[@cathyh1680]

The 100k is an important existential thing for her that defines how she wants to live and feel about her life. The problem is that she married someone fundamentally incompatable with that. They are financially incompatable and that will likely reflect other compatibilities too, like the way he does not wish to change his position, and fair enough if he is happy where he is. I know a woman whose husband earned a good six figure salary their whole marraige and now they are retiring broke, have no home because he says he doesn't know where the money went, then he was made redundant before retirement, so it isn't just a case of if someone is earning a certain income it will translate to a desired reality. An important factor is how the $70k is going to be managed.

[@kzfingerprint]

I think the people in the comments are too harsh. She's obviously concerned about security, retirement, savings, staying out of debt, etc. And having kids can be expensive... And she will be giving up a $240k family income dropping down to $70k. That's a big shift for anyone! But especially when shifting the whole family dynamic and adding a child/children to the mix. Also, there's nothing wrong with a woman wanting children whole also being hesitant, for whatever reason. Women have a biological clock, you will never ever feel 100% ready, that doesn't mean you just never have kids.

[@MrHCify]

Even the way she phrased it. I might want a “kid”. Like an accessory or a pet. Kind of like a hobby. She is not ready for motherhood.

[@ganymedehedgehog371]

She also said the quiet part out loud that her friends are having kids so she’s left out.

[@kati3louwho]

I’m in sales too and understand a little bit where she’s coming from, but my husband and I I decided together how much WE needed/wanted before having a baby. We’re budgeting now and setting aside part of my income that will supplement and “be my income” for the first year or two so I can stay home and then figure out the next steps. In her case- if you want 100k income and your husband makes 70k, set aside 30k x the number of years you want to stay home. Live as if you only have 100k now, and you guys will have more than 3-4yrs worth in 1 year based on stated incomes.

[@emilyjoerger8964]

I totally get where she’s coming from. That’s a huge drop in income and she likely will spend her time pining about how she could do xyz activity with her kids but she can’t because her husband doesn’t make enough money. I think she should plan to have a side job after maternity leave so she has a goal to reach and doesn’t feel like she’s out of control.

[@deboraharies6983]

I am a single parent somehow made life thru raising two solid children on one income, University and all. It was not easy, though, not the hardest thing I ever did. I am proud. This woman is going to be disappointed in how raising children is so unlike sales. It is sacrifice. Impulsives decisions are her strengths, and she is not going to be happy! My family was not poor, it makes no difference, you have to have the mindset. She doesn't...

[@lesliebardo8773]

She needs to work and he needs to stay at home. Simple as that and they would be fine and the kids will do great if he’s the stay at home parent.

[@erichchan3]

That only sounds good in theory, but let's be honest if he became the Stay-At-Home Dad, she will not respect him. Because eventually she is going to resent him saying we could actually make even more money and have a bigger financial pot if he got a job.

[@carlawisch]

This is a lesson for young women who want to be a stay at home mom. Before you get married, deciding if there will be a stay at home parent is a discussion for the engaged couple. Some people (both men and women) will not want to make a career change so one parent can stay home. Also I know a couple where, before the kids came, an event occurred that prevented the husband from ever attaining the job that would have allowed the wife to be a stay at home mom. Because they live in a community with limited child care resources, he became a stay at home dad. It worked out fine, their three kids are intelligent, well-adjusted and accomplished young people.

[@LookinAtHim]

Caller's concerns are totally valid. Most people screw up life having kids before they're financially ready and have to struggle and live with crushing debt. They HATE women who know better and demand more than they did.

[@jim2386]

This woman is nuts. Poor guy.

[@b7Hn4eX8yv4m]

There are many great decaffeinated products on the market that are just as good as the real thing.

[@trustbutverifymedia8470]

The subtlety is appreciated

[@cathy2142]

I took on an identity shift. Sales to stay at home mom until shes in kindergarten to severe medical handicaps in our child and chronic illnesses in me to homeschooling out of medical must due to school not providing what we need to me never going back to work. I have adjusted and it has been a bumpy ride but we love our family❤

[@eddier115]

Im in sales, and i told myself years ago that i would never be with a woman in sales. Im grateful. i found a great wife