Weight Loss “Adventure” Update: Jessica's Struggle To Stay On Track

[@KrocksInTheKitchen]

Check out my blog post here: bit.ly/KrockStruggle ❤️

[@cindyjerseyshore6835]

Krocks In The Kitchen Jessica you should be very proud of yourself for facing your problems head on. First step is awareness. Brian your a great supporter. Jessica we are all human. I can be here for you. Many can relate. Also, this would be a great topic for the live show (:

[@marley7659]

Just so you know. I have been plant based for almost 4 years starting in February. It took me around 5 months to transistion from the previous september. I still have my challenges. I was listening to the physcians committee podcast. Chuck Carroll was explaining the importance of your "Why". It doesnt have to be just one thing. For me, my "Why" was maintaining a healthy weight, not feeling deprived, and actually achieving better health than my previous state. I can never go back to where I was before. Why?? The previous me was overweight, unhealthy, had horrible skin and G.I. problems. It doesn't take a genius to figure out why I am sticking with this. I love you guys a lot and I believe in you and only wish you guys best in your mission to better health. A lot of us have been there or a currently in a similar place. Good Luck and Take Care!!!

[@ginduf]

*::HUGS::* ...admitting we have a problem is the first step in recovery. you're not alone! i've been plant based for twelve years (that's easy) and for only about six months i've been trying to stop eating anything at night after 6pm and doing really great for a while until last night (i also don't digest very quickly so i can't go to bed before it's passed through my stomach because if i lay down i will have bad reflux). stuff happens. i can't have chips or snacks in the house because i'll eat the whole bag and get sick. we all have our kryptonite foods. i only crave chocolate when i'm hormonal (even at 62) but i have a gallon ziplock in the fridge of different chocolate bars [mostly lilly's stevia sweetened] but when i crave, i'll just take a couple little squares and fold up the rest of the bar and zip the bag until the next craving but the chips, i can't have just one chip.

[@ArtfulShelley]

From personal experience, perfectionism is a disease. DIS-EASE. You aren't committing to eating a certain way, or avoiding bad foods, or food at all. You are committing to YOU. This isn't about food, it is about what do you do when you feel anxiety, stress, or even feeling bad about who or where you are in your life.

[@karenmiyasaki8298]

I love how real, honest and raw you are in this! I just think you guys are the best and you have definitely inspired me along my journey. I can definitely relate to what you are going through though. You have an amazing support system in Brian and this community, we are all here for you! You got this!!! 😘

[@katmeup7]

The thing I like most about this video is how intently Brian is listening to Jessica---he is so present for her. This is true love in action. :-)

[@AlexiHolford]

Kathryn Cantley I love that so much.

[@tamarawilson8001]

The way he looked at her... I will die single contentedly if i cant find someone who looks and listens to me like that. ♡♡

[@suebower3967]

Kathryn Cantley, I agree, too! Brian really showed how much he adores her and that they are in this together.

[@AppleyGirl5280]

This alone blows me away with every single video.

[@coldwhitespring5004]

Agree! This is what I noticed too

[@hubberts]

Jessica goes on here and says what we all know and experience ourselves in some way or another, but few of us will talk about. So you tell me who's the strong one.

[@lauratransformingvegan3245]

Yes!

[@Nellie7777777]

Absolutely

[@heidiquine6438]

Agreed!

[@elenavalentino3889]

Thank God Brian didn’t give Jessica the “solution” to her “problem”. I have faith that you two will get through this together. Thank you for sharing your journey and your life with us.

[@newgtguy]

Totally agree. The purpose of this video is not to solve Jessica's problem. Rather, this is a mechanism for Jessica to expose her behavior and bring accountability. Sunlight is the best disinfectant! Great comment!

[@dianaflegal4495]

Elena Valentino yes, I’m glad of that too. Thank you Jessica for your transparency. Love you two. No judgement here.

[@MilwJay]

his listening is great and impt but kind supportive listening is itself part of a "solution" No need to trash the notion of solutions after all they are the things which solve problems and she was sharing a problem. It's ok to offer solutions to problems. That's what has been done by anyone who ever solved a problem As for judgement he showed good-judgement not no-judgement Judgement means "think" and to tell someone not to judge is to tell them not to think. The problem is not judgement but rather badjudgement. Goodjudgement is ok and the reason why god gave you a brain. Also the often quoted saying "judge not" is only half of the full saying: "judge not lest ye be judged" which doesnt mean 'do not judge' at all, it simply means that judgement is a two way street so be a good driver.

[@MilwJay]

Judge not, that ye be not judged. [2] For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again. Matt.7 - King James

[@cindywright3368]

So honest. I loved the way Brian just allowed her to talk and listened so intently. Unconditional Love from your husband is powerful and can be so motivating.

[@hilaryowen1160]

He listened with love in his eyes the whole time-and his first words in response said it all. 😭♥️

[@aliciav7460]

I love that Brian’s first response was “I love you” 🥰 Someone else commented that you should be as kind to yourself as you would be to someone else and I couldn’t agree more. We are so hard on ourselves and it’s not helpful. You know what you need to do - take action - and you’re absolutely capable of doing that. Keep your goals in mind and move forward from this. Lots of love {hugs} 🙂

[@edithfox9488]

jess go to church with Brian your path will be easier.

[@MattVey]

Literally read that line as he said it during the video.

[@sue22261]

I’m 71 years old and I have been a food addict all my life. The struggle never goes away. I binge when I am stressed. Somehow that calms me down. It’s very frustrating. I feel your pain. ❤️

[@addielou99]

Much love to you!! We definitely all struggle.

[@colettechild2545]

Brian is so patient and loving. I'm crying. Jessica I can relate to everything you said. Thank you for being real and vulnerable with us.

[@KCallaAK]

Oh Jessica... 10 years of being a recovering overeater/binger and maintaining a 60 lb weight loss. I've had lots of those times, especially when I worked at the hospice office. ALWAYS snacks everywhere. Then I retired 2 years ago... went back last month to volunteer for a morning in the office. Guess what... same old feelings rose right up again. Going WFPB'd for the last year and 7 months has helped the most. But I am always tweaking. And try to keep my home as clean as possible although I live with a lovely SAD eating husband. My tips: 1. don't ever start tomorrow. Throw "it" out and start now, next bite. 2. don't be hard on yourself because you are an amazing woman!! 3. know that you are helping others by sharing this. You are loved by all us internet goofballs. 4. I personally believe that nothing happens by coincidence --- your viewing that live stream was meant to be. Sure wish you would share the link so we could hear it too. 5.... JUST KEEP SWIMMING --- you are growing and getting well physically and mentally every day. It takes time. You've got a great man who loves you and will always be there. He's a keeper! 6. You can borrow my "been there, done that" t-shirt if you want. XOXO

[@WestVirginiaDee]

I COMPLETELY agree 💯 with the START IMMEDIATELY with the next bite. DON'T "restart tomorrow". Our own minds hold conversions with us that can be harder to "rebut", harder to push back against, than if a friend or family member said the same things. Our emotional eating is a response from years of hurt, anger, fear etc. Fasting has helped me TREMENDOUSLY, going 14 to 120 hrs (5 complete days). ALL the time freed up by not shopping, eating, cooking, storing, eating....can be used for a relaxing bath, a book that was started months ago, phone cals n letters to friends and family, hikes, extra sleep,....things that make you happy, help catch up, beneficial things, including reflection and journaling.... The MOST IMPORTANT THINGS in life include self love and acceptance of our "Perfect Imperfections". You're BLESSED in so many ways. EVERY time that you have a thought that DOES NOT ALIGN with your goals... IMMEDIATELY START COUNTING THOSE BLESSINGS!Set an amount, 5 Blessings, 10 whatever. Fill your heart and mind with Positive Healing Energy instead of letting your mind talk sh*t to you! Lol

[@tanyadawson9617]

Great response of encouragement and honest disclosure of how it works -- to this heartfelt, very honest and open video by the endeared Krocks.

[@spencers4121]

Much like they say how a alcoholic or drug user is one for life, I think it's very true for any addiction be it eating or drugs. I just don't buy my food addictions, if I don't have them around I'm good. But buy something for a treat, I eat them all before I know it.

[@KCallaAK]

@@spencers4121 I agree! I've "tested" myself over and over and I easily fall RIGHT back into the sugar addiction. I have to stay very far away. If I DO fail, I simply pick myself back up and carry on. SOME of us have addictive personalities. *raising hand* The only time I have "treats" is when I'm on vacation. There's a brownie in the Seattle airport (my layover airport) that I've consumed multiple times. ;) Now that I'm WFPB'd those are out, thank goodness! I'll never be perfect BUT I keep mindful of my wonderful routine of eating normally 90% of the time.

[@addielou99]

#3 !!!! Love it

[@phatmonkey11]

I'm struggling to stay on track right this very minute. I "fall off the wagon" all the time, but I get right back on. 2 steps forward, one step back. Don't beat yourself up, but do always get right back on that wagon!!!

[@bethduffey247]

Me, too. Struggling. Making excuses. Tearing myself up mentally. Glad to be part of this community. Thank you, Michelle and J, more than words can express.

[@kittimcconnell2633]

Right on! Fall down, forgive yourself, get back up & keep going. Community like this helps so much!

[@debbiebatten6021]

Oh Jessica, when you talked about how you will “Get to that tomorrow,” I felt so connected. That has been my go to line for diet, exercise, meditation, you name it. Thank you for being so brave! And Brian, you are so wonderful to sit and listen without comment until Jessica had said what she needed to say. The two of you have such a loving and lovely relationship. Blessings.

[@ankiking]

Heroin addicts also can not keep a “little” heroin at home just to prove they will not use it. You are strong enough to move forward and so brave for doing this!! We believe in you!!!

[@magma11000]

So true, same with alcoholics, they can't have alcohol in the house, and have to undergo serious physical and mental rehab work and extreme isolation/insulation from all possible temptations, or as much of them as possible. For instance not go to parties where people drink for a good while, to get themselves aclimatized and in the zone. For instance, change up their activities, habits and lifestyle etc.

[@Taai02]

Brian, it totally touched me how you held space with love and sat there listening. And the first thing you said was, “ I love you”!! Also, this was so incredibly raw, real and BRAVE!!! So much of us( me too), are in this too and are with you! You are not alone!! Sending you both lots of love ❤️

[@KCallaAK]

Yep, every time Brian smiled, I smiled. Brian would make a great hospice volunteer! He knows how to hold space for sure! (Says this hospice volunteer coordinator for 20 years! LOL) heatherplett.com/2015/03/hold-space/

[@robinh6623]

Jessica, first let me say I was crying through this a so wanted to give you a GIANT HUG. Coming forward with this was both brave and altruistic. There are so many of us who struggle day to day. You are human. Second there are many reasons why this could be happening right now. One could be you've lost so much weight and your hormones could be fluctuating. The other could be that you are so close to your goal you are sabotaging yourself so Brian won't be alone continuing on his adventure. Whatever the reason, I for one am here for you. I totally get it. You are so brave and we are all so proud of you, even when you fall. Brian will be there to catch you. You've got this.

[@AlexiHolford]

Robin H - so sweet

[@fabianaesteves679]

Just what I wanted to write! Here goes my big hug.

[@kikidee1969]

The road to recovery isn't straight! Remember, a prepared environment is your best friend. Never bring your enemy in. You never invite a vampire, right 😉😘 3 days, it takes 3 days to feel better back on track together. And always keep the conversation open. You are perfect in your imperfection! Love you ❤️❤️❤️❤️ signed, the much stumbled me 😘😘😘

[@J.Deaconu]

I love how concerned Brian is throughout the whole video, wishing you both all the happiness in the world

[@VirginiaS08]

"Addiction is a chronic and relapsing condition." CDC This is important for all of us to recognize. Thank you so much for sharing. This video may have a more powerful impact than any of your others.

[@AlexiHolford]

VirginiaS08 sigh. Yep.

[@twelveofthem]

Why didn't the pastor just pray about his Alcoholism?

[@Lindasinish]

I am crying, for Jessica's honesty and fears and for Brian's love.OMG! How moving. ♥️ My own food addiction has taught me to NOT BRING IT INTO THE HOUSE, CAR OR OFFICE. Remember....your mind will lie to you. Mine tells me that's the last donut on the planet. Insane, but I believe it. Thank you for being you. ♥️

[@dianebash9402]

My mind tells me that I'm not really allergic to wheat and it doesn't cause me to put on weight. Total lie!

[@leahb3113]

Agree!!

[@nrstchr1]

I was crying also. Oh man, it could be my story.

[@cmorte5]

Now on my days I am tempted let my eating slide I can say, "Jessica is fighting to make better choices too and we are accountable to each other..." I've got your back and I know you've got mine!

[@Jostager99]

Someone else has probably posed this but for those of us who can’t stay it of the cookie jar, there is only one solution. Don’t put trigger foods in your grocery cart.

[@doright9681]

Kudos to you for seeing the pattern before it gets out of hand and knowing when to force accountability. THAT is HUGE! Whenever we feel like we have to hide a thing from those we love- that's when we know we are having a problem. 1. food addiction is real. Be gentle with yourself and pick yourself back up the next meal. 2. How can we not cry at every episode of "This is us". 3. I don't even know your pastor, but he's awesome sauce for being so transparent and real. Same goes for you Jessica.4. Willpower is a false reality- only a clean environment will prevail. (a la Chef AJ) You have to set yourself up for success.

[@suebower3967]

I keep a saying that Chef AJ always says, "If it's in your house, it's in your mouth". Thanks for mentioning that. It is so true!

[@magma11000]

@@suebower3967 Wow that's an interesting quote and concept!!!

[@dawna-ba-da-bing]

It is so cool that the look of love never left Brian’s eyes throughout this whole video.

[@marzipanlady2800]

Oh sweet Jessica. I'm crying here with you. I've been a compulsive binge eater since I was 15 (I'm 30 now). I guess we'll be addicts till the day we die. All you can do is make the addiction dormant. And just like you connected with what the pastor said, I connected with what you said. The dreadful spiral. The snowballing you can't stop. I'm shaking, because I've probably seen every single weight loss related video on YT and NOTHING struck a chord with me quite like this one has. Thank you so much for sharing and I hope we (both of you, me, everyone who's struggling with their food addiction) all can go forward step by step. You've given me new energy to stick to the diet I've chosen. Lots of love from faraway Poland

[@ebonitalks]

Shes so cute. I'm thinking she was pregnant or going to leave him. She is torn up over her peanut butter cups. She's precious. He gets a gold 🌟 cause he waited 15 min to hear about a snack. God bless him and y'all. You're good girl. Just don't bring them back in the house. You'll be ok. There are food addicts anonymous meetings that might help too. ❤

[@sevsevchenko3301]

Sending you lots of love from Malaysia....you have taken the words right out of my mouth - and I am a 61 year-old grandma. If I have any words of wisdom, at my age, been doing this since my teenage years, it will be this - GET BACK UP AND KEEP GOING. One day you will look back and realize ‘the falling of wagon days’ are less and less...🙏 Namaste. Ps: sorry about my grammar. English is not my first language.

[@AmpuTeeHee]

💗 I love that Brian’s first response was “I love you”. I almost said it myself out loud to the screen, and I don’t even “know you”! LOL! You are so brave for sharing, and your honesty is helpful and inspiring. I’ve been doing some similar food behaviors the last two weeks due to some unusual extra stressors, but I’ve been keeping it on the down-low. Hearing how you are processing this Jessica is truly helpful. Thank you. 🌺

[@rhiannonsolorzano5020]

AmpuTeeHee I hope your stress levels fall ASAP and you realize the investment in your health is of utmost importance and can get back on track. 💛 I have fallen off the health wagon many times and I know how much I can get stuck from the falls. Here’s to getting back up! Being kind to ourselves & persevering!!

[@tammierenee8835]

PS. Where can I find a Brian, my age of course. That was great listening you did Brian and the “I love you” was spot on.

[@AlisonReeves]

I give this an 11 out of 10. I love how they interacted together. Dang.

[@cathisalach4540]

If it’s in your house, it’s in your mouth! Chef AJ Have to admit you’re an addict and ALWAYS protect yourself! Love you girl.

[@lisas2538]

Cathi Salach I’ve never heard this before. Very true. Thanks

[@kellyford9279]

Cathi Salach Yes she does say that. I always wonder about the folks who don’t mind going out to get their trigger foods? That’s where I am and a trite little saying doesn’t help it or address it.

[@melissaskaggs7229]

If the comment from a coworker about not being able to gain the weight back because your utubers would crucify you was recent...I would posit the theory that it is actually what has you so out of sorts. Fear of failure, fear of judgement, fear in general, even when completely subconscious, leads us to comfort behaviors. Eating has been a source of comfort for you in the past. I think it was very brave to post this publicly...and I think the post itself may be your solution. When you see how much your utube friends support, instead of condemning you, it will take the fear out of the equation. You will no longer need the comfort of those peanut butter cups. And if anyone is childish enough to judge or condemn you without looking in a mirror first...be comforted by the knowledge that they have much more difficult work to do on themselves. You are appreciated and genuinely cared for by many people on here, please remember that when you start to feel fragile.

[@alexandragomez2179]

Melissa Skaggs I think that’s a great perspective. Jessica, perhaps you are worried about letting down others. The wonderful way you are human is why so many people support you. You, like all people, are “allowed” to be human, to struggle and you owe us NOTHING.

[@marshaloneagle4646]

Much love and thanks for sharing. It is not failure by snt stretch. You have found a pothole that may be even deeper than you realize right now. My talk therapist has helped me climb out of many of my potholes...and to realize they will never be fully filled (aka perfectly smooth life) but by learning to recognize them as they approach (got easier with each one), take care of myself and testing new coping skills.....i am clean and sober. I cannot say i will never again drink, overwork, overeat etc...but it has been well over a year since the last time i went too far (as judged by me). It is work. It is hard. Life is so much better now compared to the pothole ignoring span.

[@birdie58]

Well said!

[@shandaedwards5942]

Melissa Skaggs great insight. Jessica, remember that FEAR is False Evidence Appearing Real!

[@Zonedweller]

Be gentle with yourself; we in KZbin land love you guys. Your adventure is our adventure. Hugs

[@heatheranderson4003]

I cried. Thank you for making me feel human. Thank you for sharing real life.

[@humm23]

it is not about will power...it is about respect for who you are becoming.

[@lindav1403]

I have no desire to crucify you. I'd rather give you a big hug and a huge thank you for keeping it real! We've all been there. Your struggle is our struggle. That's why we're here. Tell us what you need from us to help. You've helped so many of us lurking here on your wonderful channel - let us return the favor! I think being kind to yourself and forgiving yourself is more important that a reset. If you feel a need for a reset we'll cheer you on, but please don't use it to punish yourself. You're in this for the long haul, and a couple of bags of chocolate aren't going to derail your success in the long term. It's not how many times you fall, it's how many times you get up that counts. And this video counts as getting up. It shows us your strength. Well done! 💪💪💪 P.S., "Stop doing the whole tomorrow thing" is going to be my new mantra.

[@jacqpaschoud]

I think the problem with any change we make is thinking “This is forever”. I don’t think we should see any change in that way because the moment we feel trapped we try to break free. You are a grown up woman and need to make the choice you want to make for now. If you make a choice that makes you feel trapped you won’t be happy. If you are afraid you will be attacked on you tube that’s not “community”.

[@EvelineUK]

And, be proud of yourself that you're recognising the pattern and are being open and honest about it now, and not 10 kg. down the road......

[@hollyhock3945]

Your honesty is refreshing and I appreciate you keeping it real.

[@jeanninethompson6243]

Dr. Lyle has talked about how moderation doesn’t work. I can’t have nuts and seeds in my house. You are right that food is an addiction.

[@CmoreAnts]

Jeannine Thompson totally agree... If it is tempting I can not have it in the house.

[@meltzer28]

Jeannine Thompson someone once said from weight watchers “if you’re in denial, leave it in the aisle”

[@victoriaortiz8055]

I'm also a food addict!!!Thank you Jessica for having the "conversation".I've been going thru the same thing for awhile.Im so glad I'm not alone!!!

[@johnsgirl62]

I commend you for knowing how powerful those trigger foods can be. I am the same way with dates. I wish you continued strength on your journey.

[@AlexiHolford]

Me too

[@piratelincolntv889]

I’m a recovering food addict too. I just want you both to know we are here for you and not judging. We greatly appreciate you putting yourself out there as a support group for this community. Yesterday I went to the store and binge ate donughts. I was nervous as I was about to. Host my first WFPB cooking class yesterday night. I recently got my plant based nutrition certification from Cornell online and I was nervous about the class and went back to my old habits. I’m not telling you this to compare or lighten it just that we are all in this together and I’m here as a friend and support as you are to all of us. Even though you can’t see us all. Xoxo Angela Williams

[@jaqueen001]

Wow...she bared her soul and he listened with a smile and said, “I love you”. My ♥️ just melted!

[@pattidoyle5102]

That reminds me of when I had quit smoking for a year and then felt confident and curious enough to just try one cigarette. I started smoking again... and it took me two years to quit again. Fortunately, I haven’t smoked for 12 years now. I know I can not be around it at all in order to remain smoke free. It’s the same if I play with candy or chips. I cried with you and felt your fear and sadness. It’s so normal to mess up sometimes. Just remember that we don’t need to test our willpower ever again, but just always saying no will “em-power” us. Sending you a hug and much understanding!

[@Melinda_B62]

I say it all the time & I truly believe it in my heart - the most beautiful things about people are their imperfections. I love you sharing your flawed humanity with us, Jessica, don’t ever think you have to be ‘perfect’ for us. I also love how Brian loved you all the way through your confession, unrelentingly. You two are GREAT.

[@brendafarris7350]

I love how completely RAW this is! Your openness and courage is so empowering, Jessica. Thank you so much for being willing to share as we could all be on this journey with you. I adore how patient and present Brian is during this entire episode. Such fantastic love and adoration.

[@tammygipson6060]

I'm just so in love with the way Brian is intently listening and looking at you Jessica. So sweet to be there by your side and so supportive.

[@Deb_BG]

We've all been there. Many times. Welcome to the human race 😊 Be as kind to yourself as you would be to someone else struggling. We, your viewers, take strength and camaraderie from you and I hope that we also send strength right back to you. You've created a community here.

[@savedbygrace1582]

I can't have candy in my house. Sadly, I cannot eat just one. Once I start, the bag is gone. Even certain foods will trigger my addiction. Recently I had a little catsup with my potato. Imagine my surprise when that catsup, which i don't even really like, triggered me. I've only been whole foods, plant based SOS free since September, so i haven't faced the trials you have, yet. My heart really goes out to you. You can do this. I have faith in you. You can do this. Edit: My eating disorder, binging, has hit a few times, and what really helped is making chocolate nice cream. I even binged on it and had two bananas instead of one. It worked. It satisfied me that night. It's so comforting to know I can binge at times and still be on tract.

[@suebower3967]

Saved By Grace, I make chocolate nice cream also (usually with !2 bananas)! It really does help the sweet tooth. :o)

[@4everyoung24]

Saved By Grace I would go crazy if I made a big batch of nice cream at a time. I only allow myself to freeze one banana at a time because I know I’ll go crazy!

[@Nan-59]

Hi Saved By Grace! New as of tonight. What’s chocolate nice cream???

[@4everyoung24]

Nan Branham One frozen banana, blend in food processor, unsweetened nut milk until smooth, add heaping tablespoon of cocoa powder. Blend until smooth. I add a little more nut milk to make a milkshake because I get more volume for fewer calories. Less nut milk for thicker ice cream consistency. Careful though-it’s SO GOOD!

[@meismeems1]

Yes, Brian needs to make a healthy version of those chocolate PB treats for Jessica to snack on when she feels the craving. Sometimes fighting it makes things worse but if you can have a treat the guilt doesn't make you eat a ton of them.

[@shanagirl33]

Jessica, my name is Melissa. I am 53. This is the most honest, beautiful youtube video I have ever watched. You and Brian have such a beautiful relationship. I love that you are so supportive and loving and also accountable to each other. I totally relate to everything you said about the peanut butter cups. That really could be any food. You have so very honestly described the struggle for so many people, it's what makes us human. It'a so hard to be "perfect" all the time. You are a beautiful person, inside and out, and people have struggles. Alcoholics and drug addicts can obstain from their addictions, but food is necessary to live. That makes it all the harder. I just wanted to say how very very moved I was by your video. I am going to read the blog post now. You are an amazing person. I also am the kind of person that does not like to appear imperfect. I have lost and gained many times. I am in the gained area right now, trying to get back to the lost, but at 53, and a 50-60 hour a week office job, and life and kids and traffic, it's so hard. It's always a struggle. The fact that you said it, and posted your amazing honestly, truly shows your wonderful humanity. You GOT this!! You are amazing and you know that bumps in the road are inevitable and OK! I love you and Brian. You truly lucky to have each other as partners, who truly want nothing else but for each other to be happy, and healthy and there for each other. So....don't beat yourself up for being human. Recognize it, and know that it's beautiful and you can do anything. Thank you so much for posting this video!! Love the less produced, incredibly honest account of your feelings. Wish more people would allow themselves to be vulnerable in front of the world. It would make the world a better place. Thank you for sharing. You are amazing!! Just know that. You can do anything. Melissa

[@donrenapardue5573]

I bawled like a baby, Jessica. Your struggle resonates in me. You are so courageous and humble! Brian's support and his "I love you" was so precious. Both of you are so dear to my heart. Thank you for your candidness. Im cheering for you to find your footing, Jessica and I think you have taken a vital step in doing that. You two are the best!!!!

[@amywyckhouse]

I love how Brian looks at you. Definitely still in love.

[@kosmokid8390]

Oh Jessica! This video really hit home and I literally have tears in my eyes writing to you and Brian. First off, I’m a addict! I was a drug addict for 29 years and been clean now for 15 years and 4 months! I have lost and gained probably over 600 pounds in 45 years! I’m 59 and still entertain using drugs in my brain. I struggle everyday with food. I am still about 30 pounds overweight. Addiction is real! I have a very addictive personality. I deal also with PTSD from my childhood. I’m sending you big hugs and so very proud of you doing this video. You are amazing and you are human and we all deal with things. I also relate to other people judging me and insecurities about my self esteem. All I can do is just try to do better everyday and keep telling myself I’m ok and human just like everyone else. You have a great loving husband who is also your best friend! I am also blessed to have a wonderful loving understanding best friend of a husband who also is a reformed drug addict/alcoholic with food issues like me. So, tomorrow is another day and the first thing you should do is be proud of yourself for admitting to not only Brian, but all your wonderful followers who love your channel you are struggling with food and having a little set back on staying on track with your food choices. I’m sure when you start reading the comments from your followers, it will give you strength! Take care Jessica! We love you and Brian for your honesty and great inspirational videos. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ Kelly from the central coast of California 😎

[@CathyMevik]

Kosmo Kid wish I could like your comment 50 times. You know what you’re talking about.

[@amydecker6207]

Yo! Kosmo Kid! Fifteen years clean is an incredibly huge accomplishment! I dont even know you, but I AM PROUD OF YOU.

[@hadassahj7366]

This is why this is one of the best channels. Jessica, thank you for sharing your heart with us. Trust me. The struggle is very real. Brian, you are a gem. We all need to have a "Brian" in our lives. Acceptance is so important on this journey, or should I say, adventure.

[@andrayadolbee1796]

You are SO not alone! This is my relationship with food as well. I am 58 and still struggle - the fact that you saw the red flags - that you heard your voice - that you took this action of self-love - all this means you are on a food journey that is different than all those others you and Brian have tried. Those little nibbles at work led you to the awakening on Sunday morning that said ‘this is going differently.’ You changed the course that you were so wedded to all your life. It’s a complex thing - and the unraveling of it all is very difficult. Gonna go read your blog - but should be on my way to work here in Baltimore. Checked in to your vlog today and could not turn it off. You are not alone or a failure - all these feelings are the result of growth. The old sneaky ways don’t work anymore - look at this wonderful change you’ve already made!!

[@Selahsmum]

That was brave Jessica and Brian what a good man- so patient and listening and that "I love you"- you guys are so good together. I will pray for wisdom for you, sister. 💜

[@pinky567]

You are so great of a person to be honest with everyone. Quite refreshing, you both are a couple that many people wish to be like your relationship. We’re all here with you and for you.

[@mdkinfrance]

Jessica, everything you said made my heart go out to you. As you can see in the comments, so many of us have gone through (or are going through) the exact same thing. I'm so proud of you for having the courage to speak about it openly. And Brian? Bless you for your love and support!

[@sandymiller8206]

Wow! Look at all these YT-bers loving you and wanting to help you stay accountable, Jessica. I'm a food addict, too. Whether it's WFPB, Weight Watchers, or just the ol' SAD, I obsess over food and know that I cannot have anything in my house that doesn't comply. Even in the trash....can't put it there because I'll dive in. You and Brian are true inspirations for the ups and downs of this lifestyle. Our society does not make it any easier to stick to this lifestyle, but we have each other for help. Thank you for reaching out to Brian and to all of us. We want you to succeed just as much as we want to succeed!

[@i.e.presents638]

As a process addiction and trauma therapist I want to commend you for cutting off the fuel supply of shame. By being so open you are sort of lancing the boil, so to speak. For me, an addiction is doing ANYthing you wouldn’t do intentionally on your best, most clear headed day and doing it with increasing frequency and/or intensity despite adverse consequences AND attempts to quit. Hidden/secret behaviors, lies (overt and lies of omission), and poor emotional regulation are all hallmarks of this unmanageable way of life. We SO get it! If it helps you can definitely read my stuff on Quora. I will send you my info. Have you ever seen that fabulous Brene Brown TED talk on shame and vulnerability? Watch it! Thank again, both of you, for sharing ALL of the content you do! I love your relationship and your dedication to us. Please prioritize yourselves though, okay? I struggle to do that too but we will cheer each other on.

[@dg8828]

You've nailed it - there is so much shame linked with our unhealthy behaviours and Jessica's vulnerability showed how courageous she truly is by sharing her struggles and refusing to let shame rule her life.

[@jenniferkeller5350]

YES! What she said! All of it! Jennifer Keller, Bedford, TX

[@AB-vg7gt]

Is there a way for the rest of us to get your info so we can read what you've shared on Quora? Thank you!

[@victoriassharing1196]

I remember when dr Charles Stanley said don't bring the temptation into the house you helped me today and actually feel closer to you guys thank you so much

[@magiccitymama1620]

So true! If it's not there you can't eat it.

[@yippeekaiyaymofo]

I’m super glad Jessica decided to film this. To strive to make big changes, it’s difficult not to fall into old toxic habits. Thank you for sharing. You got this!

[@nicholnewcomb7467]

I found your channel by mistake about a week ago and was hooked. I've been working my way through your videos and will continue to do so. I'll be starting my Mary's mini soon and then on to a WFPB diet. I've started weaning myself off meat and dairy already. I had to comment on this video because it was so genuine and beautiful to see Jessica share something so deeply personal. Something so many of us have felt before. Brian's love and support and kick-ass listening skills really are a great example to all of us. Thank you for sharing this raw and vulnerable moment with us.

[@phancykat]

I love who you are as individuals and as a couple, regardless of your weight. Yeah, I enjoy your recipes and your success, but it was your personalities, not your adventure, that sucked me in.

[@lyndadunckel9152]

I would like to give you a hug Jessica! ❤️ I struggled with addictions to nicotine, dairy, sugar...and I had so many conversations with myself ( I am not as brave as you to tell everyone of my perceived weaknesses ) until one day I started thinking of all the things I used to do in my life that were fun and I enjoyed them but I kind of outgrew them, such as; pogo sticking, riding my bike everywhere, staying up all night watching scary movies etc. . Even though I USED to do those things I no longer did them. I outgrew them. So I decided that it was time to outgrow some more things such as nicotine, sugar & dairy. Dec 31st 2018 was the last day I had any nicotine. I just told myself... I used to do that but I don’t do it anymore. 2 years ago I stopped eating dairy and Dec 31st 2019 I stopped eating all sugar except as part of a whole food ie: dates, fruits etc. I think if you can see those food addictions as something YOU USED TO DO but you don’t do that anymore perhaps it might help you too. I had no withdrawal symptoms, no cravings...it was just like turning a page in the book of my life...past & present. I send you love and good wishes. You & Brian bring so much happiness to so many. Lean on us whenever you need a shoulder! Much love to you both! ❤️❤️❤️❤️

[@bonitagoodwin2062]

I can feel the love and how much Brian wants to support Jessica. I think when the video was over there was a lot of hugging going on. Be Strong!!

[@francesescola4691]

Jessica - you articulated what I have done so many times -- Like at Halloween buying LOTS of my favorite candies "for the trick or treaters" and not even turning on the porch light for them. I used to make myself literally sick from eating all the candy I could. Developing heart disease and then having such a strong desire to live after open heart surgery forced me to confront my sugar addiction. There are restaurants I can no longer go to because of the desserts they have, just like an alcoholic can no longer go to the bar. I am essentially an old maid, and while I watched your husband Brian listen to you so lovingly, I began to wonder what it must be like to be loved so wholly. You two are such a blessing. Thank you for showing your strength, honesty, and love so openly.

[@pda2836]

So real, that's why we love you guys so much! I had a diet counselor back many years ago and he wrote in my food diary, page after page into the future, "Tomorrow never comes!" It is so true. You got this. You are a different person than the last time you lost the weight. You have better life experience, better & more nutritious food to nourish you, and your KZbin family to support you. I look forward to seeing how the Krocks Kommunity rallies around you! You have inspired a lot of people, now someone out there can inspire you. ❤❤❤

[@luzvelazquez3373]

Awww Brian reaction was so sweet. Jessica don’t be ashamed, we are human

[@jessicaa3623]

Wow thanks for sharing. I lost 60 last year and I've started sliding. Your open discussion is a gift. You're helping me not put off restarting! Thanks Jess!!!

[@marycasasnovas5710]

Amen Jessica! This is the first step to holding yourself accountable! Thank you for being so raw with us. I’m also a food addict and COMPLETELY understand what your feeling. Keep journaling, talking- sharing. Worth a mention- Brian is a keeper!👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼

[@racheltanner8888]

I feel this. HARD. It’s so hard to say out loud...you are very brave.

[@Dixieburk1]

So brave, Jessica. I’m sitting here crying along with you. It’s a struggle every day, isn’t it?

[@gwenvann7279]

Jessica, this took a lot of courage. So many of us struggle with this very same food addiction. I do the “tomorrow I’ll...” too. Your honesty and willingness to struggle in front of us is encouraging for me to not give up on my journey. I’m wishing you the very best!!!

[@juliehill9554]

Been in a funk since the holidays. Thank you for the reminder to pick myself up, dust myself off and start TODAY! Good luck to all of us on our journey!

[@mitchbarton4371]

I have totally been in the same place you have, Jessica, as have all of us who deal with weight issues. Thank you for your openess and honesty. I have been slipping, basically since Halloween, and have put on 10-12 pounds, yet keep eating sweets. I feel your struggle. I'll be praying for strength for you to keep on track. You and Brian are an inspiration to a lot of people and keep up the good work. Remember, we're all human and have set backs and are weak at times. Just keep moving forward and you will be ok Thanks again for your openess.

[@ericaallyson]

“I keep kicking the crack ‘til it’s gone.” plays in my mind in moments of defeat... it’s a line from a Fiona Apple song. I make a lot of plans that I can’t quite hold myself accountable to. It’s absolutely an addiction, it’s hard, and sometimes feels unfair. Thank you for your vulnerability. Even when we fall off the wagon we are worthy of love, respect, and the support of our community to help us continue on our journey.

[@carrieyeager952]

Erica Clayton I love this! Thanks for sharing. I’m going to keep kicking the crack til it’s gone too!

[@spookyvegan1402]

Erica Clayton I love Fiona Apple so many of her lyrics are poetic & relate to so much of life struggles I can relate 💚

[@n3tl4g]

I don't know the original intent of this lyric, but what first came to my mind is you can't kick a crack til it's gone because kicking only makes a crack deeper. And that's what those peanut butter cups seem like. At first it might feel like they will scratch some itch, but they actually make the itch worse each time.

[@sueg.k.6377]

Jessica, thank you for speaking up about your struggle. I think that when we verbalize our struggle, it loses it's power over us. I appreciate you and Brian, for your encouragement and openness. Hugs and prayers.

[@justjenny1325]

Dude. Jessica, I totally snotted and bawled with you. I am in the same phase currently only my binging has been going on for much longer. I quit smoking 2 years ago and the binging has just gotten worse. I am a stress eater and I struggle to control it. You are so loved by your tribe and it shows. YOU are brave and so strong! Thank you for sharing your struggles with us, I think a lot of us needed to hear that. Brian, you are a blessing.

[@meltzer28]

This was so brave AND so normal- especially when you are closer to “goal”. A lot of self doubt creeps in. Also the issue with chocolate peanut butter candies is NOT your willpower; they are made in a way that makes it nearly impossible to eat just one (and for those that can do NOT compare yourselves to them; some people’s struggles we can see, and others we can not). I love the saying, and I’m not sure where it’s from, but it goes “don’t judge someone’s outside for your inside”. Sending you comfort!

[@foodskewed9197]

This video hit so close to home and made me cry. I’m a serious food addict and binge eater. I found myself daily getting fast food on my way home. I was vegan for three months straight and have since slipped back into my old habits. To make matters worse I have ten times the stress I usually have. I’m starting to go through divorce and haven’t seen my kids in two weeks. Finding the strength to keep working towards my goals is slowly fading away. I appreciate your honesty and love watching your videos

[@booch326]

Foodskewed919, thank YOU for being so transparent with us...I wish you all the best in your difficult time...

[@oleeb]

Don't give up. Your stress is enormous, but you don't have to let that collapse your efforts. And trust me, I've been where you are on the divorce stress. It's the worst. You're not defeated. You've just suffered a setback. It happens to us all. Hang in there!

[@davidwolfer2382]

Foodskewed919 hang in there

[@jenny090489]

GIANT virtual hug to you!! I heard a recovering alcoholic say once that a relapse doesn't erase all of your hard work, but it also isn't an excuse to throw everything out the window. You acknowledged your struggles, and are stronger because of it!!

[@JoyceMReed]

I just love the honesty. Losing weight is so hard and keeping it off is harder. What a transformation to confront binge eating.

[@lynn7348]

The beautiful part of your struggle is you do have community and you do have Brian. Your a brave woman and God will give you strength to push through. Thank you for being so honest and vulnerable...I will keep you two in my prayers.

[@stormysmom222]

I went to an Overeaters Annoynmous meeting today bc food has a choke hold on me.

[@KV-mz8ro]

I didn't know those meetings existed. Do they help you?

[@stormysmom222]

@@KV-mz8ro I've lost 100 lbs when I was going. oa.org

[@sfree322]

Jessica, your instinct to share this with everyone was spot on. Thanks to you and Brian, many of us will feel more free to be vulnerable and reach out when we need to. 😘😘

[@RandyFasnacht]

Just turning WFPB 3 months ago I scoured KZbin for authentic people on the same journey or "adventure". As you said, "things happen for a reason (Brian raises his eyes after talking about faith)." So here I am applauding you for your best video yet. It totally mirrors the adventure my wife and I are on, even spiritually. Thank you Jessica for your openness. Keep it up and know you resonate with many, many people. Thank you and bless you.

[@Julieac100]

I can't even tell you how much I am going through right now. I was this walking machine for years, never really had to worry about my weight, felt great, looked great, then menopause, losing my Mom, having a traumatic fall with a broken ankle that not only sidelined my walking, which was already faltering, but pretty much ended it. I lost my job, had 3 years of struggle, and never really got myself on track again. I did well, off and on, but now, two days before Christmas, another fall, another fracture, this time my wrist, plus my back has been bothering me, so I am just this lump in a chair, eating wrong, and just fading into each day. So, in short, I get the tomorrow I will change this, or start that. Keep trying. Never stop trying. I am telling myself that too.

[@fleurmp3820]

Best wishes to you x

[@sjwestmo]

Wow! Hang in there, that’s a lot of life piling up. Injury set me back too. Try watching Yoga with Adrienne. She’s a shot of positive energy and love and maybe youll feel like joining her

[@Natlar]

To expect perfection is a form of sabotaging ourselves. A rule that usually helps me is not binge 2 days in a row. Best best for both.

[@grymers]

Don’t beat yourself up. You have great support from Brian and all of your followers. Keep up the great job. You’ve got this! Best of luck!

[@sutematsu]

Jessica: I can't even express how proud I am of you, and how brave I think you are to open up about your struggles like this. I've always found you to be a kindred spirit - I'm also a bit perfectionistic and precise - and I love that you bring that part of your personality into the videos. It shows me how I can use those parts of myself to my advantage. Seeing you talk about your struggles, though, I realized that you have a courage and a strength that is so admirable. I would never have had the courage to tell an entire KZbin community about something so personal - I would have suffered alone and in silence, becoming more and more disappointed with myself, rather than show people my real, imperfect self. Thank you so much for sharing. (Ugh, I'm crying as I type this out!) You mentioned that some people might think that the pastor (and by extension you) are bad role models for failing in public, but I think the *total opposite.* You're an even bigger inspiration to me now, because you showed me a way to be real and true about the issues I'm having and to get the support I need. Thank you so much, and best of luck getting back on track. We're all here for you.

[@Fuzzy_Spork]

This was amazing, thank you for deciding to post it! I've learned to never buy the foods I'm addicted to. It's hard, yeah, but way easier than having them in the house and trying to resist.

[@karenarmendariz2858]

This is my first comment after being a subscriber for a good long while but I feel the need to comment on this video. I have been vegan for almost 2 years . I do really well sticking to my vegan diet but I also have weak moments where something smells so good or looks so tempting I just want to shove it in my mouth and enjoy. You are so right we are like an alcoholic but with food. Don't beat yourself up it was a slip up but you have knowledge and the feeling of good health and feeling happy to move you past this. You needent be afraid.... you have experience on your side now and that won't fail you!

[@monaleggett7066]

Thank you Jessica and Brian for doing this video. You have helped so many people with their weight loss journey by being so honest and real. Many blessings to the both of you!

[@ComfortingGrace]

Jessica...thank you for being real and vulnerable. This is real life. I also have food issues with binging and emotional eating or eating when stressed. So this really spoke to me. Having others who will hold you accountable is KEY. Praying for you. ❤

[@beth8894]

Jessica, you were very, very brave to confess to Brian and all your fans and followers. You've made it past the most difficult part, now you can get back on track. We have all been there, we hear you, keep on- keeping on!

[@RolandDeschain1]

You're both beautiful people. We can all hope to find a relationship as true and strong as yours.

[@dbastinelli]

You two are such an inspiration! Thank you for being so honest and allowing into us to be part of this raw, emotional moment. Please know you are not alone Jessica and you are blessed to have such an amazing support person in your life. Also, he's pretty darn blessed to have you as well :-)

[@JessieCarty]

I've struggled with BED for years, before I even knew what to call it. I've been in a bad place for months. I lost about 10 pounds from my highest weight ever in September following WFPB, but I'm SO stuck and sad right now. I overate a good bit today, and needed this so much tonight. I balk at being held accountable to someone, but I still want to write this and feel I can be part of a community like this that has such heart and hope. Thank you for giving me back some hope.

[@jacquimichelle8079]

Yes!!! Mary strikes back!! Very courageous, Jessica. Well done, Brian. You both handled yourself so beautifully.

[@cooperworthygaming4525]

I couldn't agree more Jessica! I am terrified of putting the weight back on. Absolutely terrified. Sending you positive energy!

[@amyg3525]

Thank you so much, Jessica. This helped me so much. I discovered your videos and started following the two of you about a month and a half ago. I did the potato thing for ten days and then switched to WF-PB. I’ve had the same food addiction struggles my whole life... 47 years. You’re description of the “secret” binge eating, the, “I’ll start tomorrow “.... I know all the words to that song. I wish you strength and know you can do this... not because we’re all watching but because you’re doing for yourselves. Don’t beat yourself up! Simply remember to never sacrifice the good for the perfect. Just pick up and start again in the moment. Thank you for sharing and making yourself so vulnerable. Be well.