Life After Loss | Part 4: Hope

In Part 4, witness the culmination of Paul's extraordinary inner transformation. After weeks of intensive healing work, he has now reached a place of emotional depth where he is able to listen to and hold his inner child, allowing him to process his childhood trauma. In the second half of this emotional closing episode, Paul writes and reads heartfelt letters at Zoey's memorial. Through this profound act, Paul's journey comes full circle, demonstrating the resilience of the human spirit and the capacity to find solace and closure even in the face of unimaginable loss.
Life After Loss takes you on an emotional and transformative journey alongside Paul, a father bravely confronting his unimaginable grief following the loss of his daughter to suicide. Throughout this season, we delve into ways to navigate grief, liberate yourself from childhood trauma, and unlock your full potential in life. We also explore a fundamental question: Is healing possible after the loss of a child?
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In Therapy with Alex Howard is a first-of-its-kind series that places you directly in the therapy room. Join us each week as we follow every step of people’s journeys, both in and outside of the therapy room, and learn the tools to unlock your true potential.
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Content is produced by Oliver Halls (Instagram: @oliver.halls) and Jeremiah Fernandes (Instagram: @jeremiah.fernandes).

[@user-tq4xk6mt3x]

Gentlemen, I lost my son back in February. By March, I started therapy as I felt I was literally losing my mind. Your videos are very close, almost exactly, what I, and my therapist, have been doing. One example, I have been to maybe 12+/- sessions, and we have spent maybe 30 minutes talking directly about my son. The rest of the time has been all about trauma in my life. Your videos are both reaffirming and motivating. My therapist tells me I have done a lot of intensive work, I have been feeling better. Seeing your videos tells me I'm on the right path. I cannot thank you enough. I have been walking around feeling very good today, instead of on eggshells. From across the pond as they say, THANK YOU!!

[@shrinkelizabeth]

It is so hard to find a therapist who works like this (not necessarily taking clients into the woods and all of that lol but just going beyond doing things like teaching basic breathing exercises and "coping skills").

[@debbiewalsh6241]

Absolutely beautiful and powerful work! Thank you Paul - you gifted many as you allowed us to witness your journey. Alex, thank you for your compassionate and affirming work. Bless you Zoey. Your dad's going to be ok. Rest in heavenly peace.

[@seethroughmeb.8070]

Thank you, Paul for showing me the other side of the coin. I have been sobbing since watching the last episode. I have been through a very dark time in my life. I had a plan to commit suicide several years ago. It has not been easy carrying on and I will say the thought still creeps in occasionally. Seeing what your daughters suicide did to you has made me realize what it would do to my parents. I believe I can honestly say that now, after witnessing your pain, I will find another way to deal with my troubles. I will not put my family through the anguish you have endured. I am sorry you lost your baby girl. Your bravery and vulnerability is appreciated by me.

[@AlexHowardTherapy]

I'm so pleased to hear the series has helped you in this way, and am very sorry to hear how challenging things have been. Please know there is always help and make sure you reach out when you need it 🙂

[@seethroughmeb.8070]

@@AlexHowardTherapy I am getting help. I have a wonderful counselor and I am going through TMS treatments. The combination of meds, counseling, and the treatments have been very effective. This is the best I have felt in 30 years. I know I will always have the depression, I just need to stay aware so I can stay ahead or try to.

[@debbiewalsh6241]

So good to her you're doing all you can! It's important for you and for others. Keep shining your light! Blessings.@@seethroughmeb.8070

[@Polina-hn7hu]

I dont matter! That is it! If i dont matter then i am not good enough. How incredibly simple these distorted beliefs get inserted in us due to our caregivers incapacity to reflect our authentic essence to us. And how all changes once u start giving to yourself what was your birthright to receive but wasnt given to u. Paul nailed it for me when he said he felt like he didnt matter. Thats what sets us up on a life that actually depletes us of life. Bravo!

[@AlexHowardTherapy]

I'm so glad you found helpful 🙂

[@Eric-tj3tg]

Amen brothers.

[@AlexHowardTherapy]

🙂

[@maggierose8279]

this 4 part series is powerful ... thank you, Paul -- your processing and being willing for others to view the taping has untold benefits for others whom you will never meet ... you are indeed a strong man, a human model of smart courage ... blessings on you, my good man

[@sarahdean6441]

Wishing you the absolute best Paul.

[@maciejsiedziako680]

Valuable piece.

[@AlexHowardTherapy]

🙂

[@JOconnor-nt1vk]

Thank you for this series. I found some similarities with Pauls “Pandora’s Box” childhood, and have recently experienced the murder of my beloved first born at the hands of my granddaughter. This is so hard, and I’ve got so much work to do. Thank you again.

[@kristenhannappel8890]

ABSOLUTELY incredible stuff here, Alex & Paul!

[@AlexHowardTherapy]

Thank you 🙂

[@eaglewindspirit]

Without an emotionally aware and mature parent, children have no one to help them accept, normalize and relax with intense frightful emotions. Child begins to deny and try to stuff/repress these emotions. Once we become adults we are the one that has to provide the safe place to embrace and help the inner child accept and express their feelings, to go from suppression to expression contained in a loving and nurturing place.

[@hedysussmann]

what an empathic insight into the weight of trauma starting from childhood that we carry. My heart broke for Paul and Pauly and I was so grateful that he was nested in the safe hands of Alex. It was intelligence and love in action. Truly extraordinary. Thanks for allowing us to share the journey!

[@AlexHowardTherapy]

Thank you for watching, I'm so glad it was impactful 🙂

[@umbungomoomin]

Wow, what an inspiration Thank you for showing such honest bravery in sharing your story about the loss of your dear mum and daughter. Best of luck with your continued healing journey 🙏

[@AlexHowardTherapy]

Thanks for your kind words 🙂

[@lulucarpenter8037]

Amazing man. I don't know how much is edited out, but it seems that Paul has made incredible progress in a very short time. It gives me hope.

[@streaming5332]

His mother is very real to him even though he lost her at three and would have minimal memory.

[@AlexHowardTherapy]

Yes indeed

[@Eric-tj3tg]

This is true for Explicit Memories, but in my experience, and according to many Interpersonal Neurologists, and Body-based Modalities such as: Hakomi, Somatic Experiencing, Sensorimotor, Bioenergetic, etc., the Implicit Memories are in the body, and that's the rub. Feelings, often excruciating, are experienced, yet visual and contextual clues (memories) are often absent. This is why "Embodiment" often need be dealt with; a bottom-up approach. Peter Levine, the founder of Somatic Experiencing, is on YT, and there's a video of him working with a Traumatized, returned-home soldier who was "blown-up" in Iraq, and subsequently diagnosed with Depression, PTSD, Tourette's at least. The explanations are excellent. This is likely why Yoga is such a wise practice. Hope this was useful.

[@duyguserbetci8962]

Thanks so much for sharing your story Paul. When I was watching, I realised I always longed the softness and love you have for Zoey from my own dad. I wish your pain eases more and more every day. And I m so happy you tasted the joy of being able to feel. I wish you all the best from my heart. You deserve a wonderful life and you've got this!

[@AlexHowardTherapy]

Thanks for your kind words, I hope you find the softness you deserve 🙂

[@nicoletynan2429]

I have just listened to and watched this whole series - it was absolutely amazing - the bravery I observed has been so inspirational to me I can’t thank you enough for doing this both of you and your team x

[@lindacockram3851]

Thank you Paul for sharing all these thoughts and feelings with us even though we could see how raw and painful they were for you ... i wish you a bright future . R.I.P Zoe

[@dorothy3641]

Thank you Paul for being so open, raw and honest in your therapy with Alex. You will have helped more people than you'll ever know. Best wishes for the future. Thank you Alex for your insight and compassion. You are a wonderfully skilled therapist. Some breakthroughs for myself, which was quite unexpected!

[@AlexHowardTherapy]

Thank you for your kind words 🙂

[@librarylover6414]

I am a bereaved parent too . I feel Paul’ s pain.

[@anubhav_lal]

Thank you Alex for sharing this with us and Paul for sharing your experience with us. I do not have much words, you don't realize how you're helping people in the world by exposing them to the therapeutic journey. I have learnt and experienced so much through you and with you, and that is one of the most incredible gifts you can share with humans. Wish you both the best, and to everyone watching this too ((:

[@kiarntz]

❤