Male Dating & Sex Struggles: A Problem In Plain Sight

[@blonglor5114]

As a therapist, that was a very well articulated discussion on men’s thoughts, emotions, and lifestyles. As a man, I think and feel that it was a very healthy and honest discussion into being a modern man. Great work!

[@MacabreStorytelling]

❤️

[@ghourmi]

I agree.

[@frasermckainmusic]

I think so too 🤘🏼

[@benia1908]

@@blacklightredlight2945 okay, change the entire perception of the world, I'll wait until you're done

[@mambafake1808]

@@blacklightredlight2945 yeah yeah we know man evil.

[@Entropic_Alloy]

Saying "be confident" to someone with low confidence is like saying, "be happy" to a depressed person. If it were easy, I wouldn't have asked for the advice.

[@asn8744]

It’s right up there with telling an ADHD sufferer to use a planner. Those words are seared into my brain.

[@chimedemon]

@@asn8744 DEAR GOD ALL OF THIS, HOLY SHIT. Every single one of these remarks have been made by someone I care about, and I had to crawl through years of fuck ups and figuring shit out by myself to realize things like “ohhhhh, pointing out the fact that I both long for people in my life and are desperate for genuine connection while ALSO pushing anyone away is probably a bad thing maybe” is only the first step to addressing the clusterfuck that is me. Now I have to figure out techniques to actually keep the few friends I DO have that care about me and not push them away like everyone else. Only recently have I began to actually understand my ADHD (school would’ve been so fucking easy if my parents knew what to do with me) and have only recently been implementing the depression that’s been eating at me since I was in elementary. I’m lucky that I’m barely an adult, because now I can focus the 70 years or 14 hours I got left (what, I could die tomorrow driving to the bank) trying to fix my personal shit.

[@sk00k]

@@asn8744 fuck, do I have ADHD?

[@Chris_t0]

nobody says "be confident" its about trying little things until you are confident. You can become confident, be confident means BECOME confident, how did you miss that?

[@Lamonticus]

@@Chris_t0 You're still proving Entropic Alloy's point and then some. "Be confident" doesn't means "BECOME confident"; no one who hears the phrase "be confident" is going to assume that it means that they have to become confident. The word "be" and "become" have two different meanings that aren't even interchangeable. Not only that "become confident" is still as vague and unhelpful as "be confident". "Oh, yes. You're right I'll just simply push down years of insecurity, depression, and lack of validation and just become confident. It was that simple all along."

[@florinivan6907]

The problem with telling a guy who is inexperienced beyond a certain age(somewhere around 18-19) 'be yourself' is that being himself means being alone. An inexperienced guy is himself when he's just himself. He doesn't know at all what being himself with a person he's attracted to means. He's gonna answer 'myself means wearing casual clothes in my room and watching a movie with no one else to talk to'. It most certainly is not to go out on a date.

[@jcivilis533]

I think you misunderstand what "being yourself" means. It doesn't mean undertaking an action like dating or watching a movie but having a unique and flavorful personality. People crave originality in their lives which is why being yourself aka having interests struggles and character is highly valued

[@sirsurnamethefirstofhisnam7986]

@@jcivilis533 I think you misunderstood OP I believe what they meant was if a guy is naturally being himself and is having absolutely no luck with women, just saying “be yourself” is clearly not going to help because he’s already being himself. What people are really saying then is “act natural in a way that appeals to other people, even if that isn’t who you really are”.

[@Vladimyrful]

Spot on.

[@johnwalters5410]

And how many people in relationships have beautiful & whatever it is personalities? They mostly vote Tory & listen to Ed Sheeran. Fuck that.

[@coolfear360]

I love to think of being yourself as a discovery. You’re discovering yourself as you live. I think most guys would do themselves a major favor by pulling out a notebook and just writing down what they like. What they love. Being yourself is nothing more than embracing who you are wholeheartedly. Being genuinely comfortable with your own interests. You like video games? Embrace that. You like golf? Embrace that. You like playing the violin for homeless youth in your spare time? Embrace that. You will always add on to yourself. Your journey (hopefully) isn’t anywhere near being done.

[@cdf7923]

My biggest fear is not being rejected, it's ending up with someone who makes me miserable.

[@seashotel]

where’s the video in which we discuss the difficulties in actual relationships? Finding someone and starting a relationship is actually the easy part in all of this

[@glennstewart9907]

With most things being equal, you have a large control of how miserable she makes you. Unless your partner is a malevolent psychopath avatar of Kali who just wants to seduce you for the purpose of destroying you in order to in your ashes.

[@aFoxyFox.]

Aren't you in control of who you "end up with"? If someone is making you miserable, can't you let them know, try to work it out, and then try to find someone else who doesn't?

[@Buster_Piles]

They all make you miserable after a few years bro.

[@Rickyewu]

Dad?

[@TheSuperNarwhalrus]

I'm a woman and one of my close females friends once told me something that blew my mind, most men in their first serious relationship, find themselves in the first position where they can genuinely vent their feelings without judgement and they tend to let it all out which can be overwhelming. I've noticed this to be true with a decent amount of men I've met, and for me it also informs the desperation I see in my single male friends to get into relationships... in our society men are actively discouraged from emotionally expressing themselves, except to their romantic partner. Even with my boyfriend, I'm constantly trying to teach him to express himself, telling him it's okay to set boundaries, or to cry, with me, but also with family and friends he trusts. It can be a lot, but it's made me understand the downright strange behavior of men who feel incapable of getting into a romantic relationship... For some, there is more at stake than just sex... Anyway, great video, thought that was a little relevant!

[@alfredgomez3128]

It's already hard to find just good friends, even harder for decent, available dating. I've learned that women are better than men at listening and sharing intimate details. I also learned that, regardless of gender, average people suck at dishing out advice or handling others emotional burdens; women can be given toxic advice by other women as much as men do for each other. All the while, men are expected to be interesting, not necessarily nice, to get attraction. They put their emotional baggage on the back burner and may be catty if you ever question their shortcomings. I've had male coworkers get defensive about a particular topic, then confide in me their actual worries as they find I don't judge them so harshly...and I'm blunt with speaking my weird traits.

[@aisenpai7056]

What do you think is the right balance of "opening up" to your first serious romantic partner?

[@memegazer]

@@aisenpai7056 There is no easy answer. There is a prevailing view among women of "don't trauma dump" for men...where the sentiment is women are not your therapist but also has a bit of double standards, where if a woman relates trauma to explore intamacy boundaries and get's rejected as a result it is seen as men being insensitive and toxic...but if a man opens up too much it is seen as high maintenance and desperation. My advice would be this...even in a serious relationship do not expect validation from vulnerability. That is not to say don't share vulnerability...just don't expect acceptance from doing so and be open to any possible criticism from doing so...even if you are not that person anymore. You have to realize that being open might trigger issues in your partner that make you incompatible with each other based on each others own personal growth. If a woman does not want to deal with your issues bc you are "trauma dumping" and she does not have anything constructive or supportive to offer, then that is probably a good indication that she came into the relationship with different expectations than you did and that you were willing to be vulnerable is not a reflection on just you such that maybe you should question your own self validation views but also about her level of commitment boundaries. But by the same token if your SO confides in you something about their past that makes you so insecure that you are questioning your own feelings about who they really are...that might mean you had an idealize view about them that you are not willing to compromise when realities come to light, views that might be and internalization of idealized social construct which means you still need to address what really matters on your own terms. There is no shame or failure if that happens...the important thing is to have a true to self sense of boundaries and honesty and to not become bitter and resentful if there is a conflict of those values. Easier said than done I know.

[@memegazer]

@@aisenpai7056 The thing is to remember that nobody, well at least normatively, enters a relationship context by exposing their deepest darkest insecurities with the person they want to court. Nobody leads with presenting all faults on full display like some sort of confessional looking for salvation...and those looking for salvation from a relationship are severely disadvantaged.

[@aisenpai7056]

@@memegazer Thanks a lot for giving such an insightful view of things and I'll take this to heart " do not expect validation from vulnerability"

[@DwRockett]

Man that ‘play’ in the middle was so good. I do not have a single regret about never taking pick-up artists seriously, but that feeling of a “lack of an alternative” from the people roasting them is pretty real

[@MacabreStorytelling]

👍

[@danix8538]

How about you look at what they say instead of what their opponents say? Especially when they are as dishonest as this clip. Rollo Tomassi is not a PUA but explains pretty clearly the man-woman dynamics. For PUA have a look maybe at Karisma King, James Tusk, Playingwithfire. Or don't. You can stay with the first opinion you heard that you like.

[@MacabreStorytelling]

@@danix8538 Rollo is pretty shite

[@twincherries6698]

@@MacabreStorytelling the silence you put in that moment ironically said so much. Good stuff

[@raphadolphin]

I was one of the guys from the jubilee video. what people don't know about that shoot is that the girl (tiffany) was asked specifically to choose physical traits for guys. however they didn't put that in the video so it just looks like she has superficial expectations. Kind of shitty from Jubilee because she was just playing by the rules, but they didn't even explain the rules to the audience.

[@MacabreStorytelling]

WOOOOOOOOOOW!!! Sounds about right from the sh*t stain that is Jubilee. Thank you for sharing 👍

[@minimooster7258]

Oof poor woman, that's super shitty of them

[@MacabreStorytelling]

Do you mind if I tweet this at Jubilee? I can cut your name out if you'd like. I want them to answer for this shit, or at least let people know they are stirring the pot (even though that's not all that surprising as others have said)

[@raphadolphin]

@@MacabreStorytelling go for it

[@MacabreStorytelling]

@@raphadolphin let’s fuck em up

[@brandonduenow3538]

I remember a couple weeks ago I was complaining to my sister how it felt depressing how much I work to better myself, but how little it seems to help me with dating. All I was going for was maybe a little empathy or a relatable story but I just got lambasted for being an incel. But hey, no one's interested in hearing your problems when it's so much more fun to roast you for being inept

[@MacabreStorytelling]

Doesn’t sound like she is someone who is ready to help you be the person you want to be.

[@uraniki]

I'm sorry for your experience and your sister's response. I admire the efforts you put into self-improvement. It is not a easy task. Keep up the good work!

[@milton7763]

That really sucks! I don’t know your relationship with your sister but maybe tell her how much her remark hurt you. It could well be she felt uncomfortable by your genuine confession and tried to turn it into a joke to deal with her discomfort. If she still can’t come back with anything sensible, well...you’ll know not to expect anything from her on the topic

[@nadineehab8834]

@@milton7763 yep, my brother acts the same way when i try to be genuine with him, he tries to turn it into a joke sense we dont really open up much.

[@nadineehab8834]

@Redrustyhill what a way to generalize women-

[@mikek7660]

I'll never forget the moment I confessed to my beautiful massage therapist that I watched anime and she said she did too, and we talked about anime excitedly for the next hour. It was such a relief and really helped me to realize that if I love anime or gaming and a girl I'm interested in is turned off by that, rather than feel ashamed, I should realize we're just not a good match

[@MacabreStorytelling]

a GIRL... who likes... ANIME!?!?!?!?!

[@mikek7660]

@@MacabreStorytelling rofl yeah dude! Full metal alchemist was her favorite and I had just watched it. They do exist lol, a revelation for me at 35yrs old lol

[@midgetwthahacksaw]

@@mikek7660 Yes, yes we do exist and we feel just as nervous telling you we like anime as much as you do. It's always a "hold your breath" moment when discussing interests.

[@SoWhosGae]

Lots of young girls like anime. How old was she?

[@mikek7660]

@@SoWhosGae early/mid 20's, I was 35 at the time

[@CrossKnights]

"A little awkwardness can be endearing, but we aren't talking about guys who just need a little push to talk to that cute girl at the bar. We're talking about guys that have heart palpitations at the thought of ordering a pizza... over the phone." I haven't gone further into the video yet but this proves that you really get it. I was told for years what I should do in order to be able to relate to people better and it really always came down to people saying "Just go and do it. Talk to people, It's not that hard." People who don't have extreme social anxiety have absolutely no idea how bad it is. They think they do, because they "also get nervous sometimes" but they really don't get that it's being nervous on a completely different, paralyzing level. Things got a lot better for me later in life but I had to work on it for years. Not months, years. Very slowly making myself accustomed to being able to be around other human beings. Slowly getting better at speaking without my thoughts bogging me down. I was also, despite myself, able to make some friends in my youth that I kept into adulthood and that entry-level socialization was helpful. I really do feel for the younger generation that seems even less disconnected from physically meeting people now. I know it would have been harder for me if I was born in 15 years later than I was.

[@MacabreStorytelling]

❤

[@AMetalOxide]

This. A lot of people really struggle to grasp that social anxiety isn't just feeling a little hesitation, it feels like every possible scenario in which something could go wrong all playing out in your mind simultaneously at the prospect of interacting with someone.

[@Jose-gc8rl]

Funnily, I find it harder to order a pizza over the phone than to approach a batista to order something, not to say that I'm entirely confortable with it though.

[@CrossKnights]

@@Jose-gc8rl Me too! Something about the phone is creepy. You're just lacking so much information about the other person.

[@242nicolas]

@@Jose-gc8rl i think the problem is to reduce the interaction to be purely vocal. After all most of human communication is subconscious body language. Thats why it makes me anxious to talk on the phone, you are in a social interaction will missing 80% of the conversation

[@georgecampbell9190]

"We're talking about guys who get heart palpitations at the thought of ordering a pizza, over the phone..." Ouch bro. You didn't have to hurt me like that 😭

[@MacabreStorytelling]

Feeling personally attacked

[@monotropa_uniflora]

I could relate so well!

[@joannamyers1268]

I'm not a guy, and I relate to that so much

[@garysuarez9614]

I joined the military to improve my crippling self doubt and lack of self confidence. Believe it or not, it worked. I can't suggest it for everyone, but it definitely promotes growth and forced self awareness.

[@aniekanakai]

That part hit hard.

[@clintkarklus5523]

I'm currently in a position where I'm really feeling dejected and frustrated with dating and my prospects with women in general. A very recent rejection has had me internalizing things in a very toxic and angry way. This video is helping me work through that and consider my troubles in a more constructive way. Thanks for putting this out, it really helped my mindset.

[@MacabreStorytelling]

❤

[@francookie9353]

So how has your thinking changed over the past week?

[@DanteLikesRock]

Rejection is part of the game. Take it as the rule, not the exception.

[@debanikgoswami4834]

@@DanteLikesRock I play the numbers game .That is the only rule.

[@alim.9801]

I hope you're doing alright these days man. It's really easy to get swamped with the dark thoughts, hang in there dude. Rejection really hurts, but eventually you work through it and come out the other side, and you learn about people and about yourself even tho it sucks. Hope you've been taking care man, it's a hard world but you gotta keep some hope and sunshine alive within yourself to get thru it all yknow? 💜

[@stevenguitink5947]

As a teacher, that Chapter 2 hits me in the soul. It's not enough to simply tell someone that what they're doing is wrong or misguided. You need to actually provide them with a proper framework to build from, otherwise they'll just gravitate back towards those that offer them a framework, even if that framework is toxic or downright malicious.

[@MacabreStorytelling]

👍

[@JohnSmith-xc2qj]

"We're talking about guys who get heart palpitations about ordering a pizza... over the phone..." I FEEL ATTACKED

[@alizetvargas]

I'm in this picture and I don't like it 😭

[@anonyfamous42]

My mom told me it will get better as I get older. It's worse...

[@anthonyfaiell3263]

Is it not socially acceptable to be aroused at the thought of pizza?

[@suzbone]

@@nathanknight6042 sir this is a Domino's

[@kimmminemwest8850]

@@nathanknight6042 you sound jealous

[@RoastedPheasant]

I once told my sister about the physical, psychological, and sexual abuse I suffered at the hands of a former girlfriend. My sister would later ask me if I was turning into "one of those incel types", after I made a facebook post for unity of male survivors of rape. And people wonder why I didn't come forward sooner.

[@Trynottoblink]

Women and feminists in general can’t be looked to for support for suffering men, sad but true. To them, first and foremost you’re a threat to other women, so even male vulnerability will always be interpreted through that lens.

[@tycko4]

@@Trynottoblink right on the money! Also that the very way femism is framed, it's Inherent to women's issues, thus bigotry and bias from other women seeps in and spoils the commonly accepted outcome. Thus I've come to the conclusion that if you support the concept of equal rights for all humans despite differences. Then you should call yourself a Humanist, as any language that can be connected to any group of humans will inevitably get used a cover for more bigoted agendas and beliefs thus more division is created and less *equal rights for all* is being applied whilst more problematic and bigoted language and points get popularized and made into an unequal/unhealthy/toxic narrative.

[@efleishermedia]

Yupppp. Weirdly I don't mind admitting that I was raped by a woman who i thought was just a horny friend while I was having a seizure. I was honestly just more disgusted and appalled by it than anything, but it fucked with me that she was just going to get away with it without any consequences at all. I told a few of my more feminist type female friends and they were like, "yeah but it's worse for girls cause they're helpless." I was like, "yeahhh, I was having a seizure?" And then they were like, "stfu and let me tell you about my confusion over my sexual orientation. By the way, is your rapist like... also into girls?..." Yup

[@ludvigbergstedt5003]

I usually find that I cannot express in words what I want to say in these situations. But I am sorry that happend to you.

[@xXJLNINJAXx]

I mean, I've never cared for the "survivor" term use in such contexts, but that's kinda fucked up either way.

[@sirdanzig4412]

I'm a licensed therapist who works with adolescents and young adults. The conditioning strategies you offered in the video are very similar to interventions I might assign in therapy to aid in assertiveness training, improve self-esteem, and reduce acute anxiety. And I think your approach for providing assistance to the redpill community also has a lot of merit. Empathy and compassion toward others goes a long way. Thank you for using your experiences to help others.

[@MacabreStorytelling]

❤️❤️❤️

[@STARK0181]

You're absolutely right. The red pill train of thought is completely devoid of empathy, compassion and understanding that warps your perception of people in general.

[@SabatSch95]

It's extremely depressing that professional therapists adopt the same anti-male garbage as presented in this video, but when looking at the APA's guidelines how to treat men & boys it's not at all surprising. Shame on you.

[@StodgyAyatollah]

Approaching women to determine if they are someone you would like instead of getting them to like you is probably the best advice. It's been my approach for quite a few years now and I've learned I don't like people. Now I have zero interest in relationships and live a much happier life.

[@nikobitan7294]

I think most men have already decided they "like", i.e. want to have sex with any woman that's hot enough or even just willing. Men don't concern themselves much with what the woman gets out of the arrangement, hence anger at women not wanting to "give them" sex and demands for simple step-by-step guides to unlocking sex. Women simply have no interest in playing the role of their sex doll.

[@seacrest73]

We women would like this too! Please be pickier 😖. I go on an app and get inundated with likes and messages. It's like you guys click like on every profile. It just makes it seem like you guys are insincere.

[@bromance3496]

@@seacrest73 exactly

[@PalashaGabarra]

@@nikobitan7294 Here's the other side of that coin. What makes you think you're entitled to being loved and cherished to the point that a guy would sacrifice his life for you or whatever? It always has to be the man's fault, no matter what. People like you always insist that the woman must be the victim in any scenario regardless of circumstances. If nobody wants you for anything but your vag, then it's your fault because that is clearly all you have to offer. How's that sound? Take your toxic hatred and go be miserable somewhere. It's not my fault. Whatever it is that's wrong with you, I don't have shit to do with it.

[@3eve0n]

@@nikobitan7294 shut up misandrist

[@therabbitpants2199]

"Just be yourself" is, at the same time, a bad and a good advice. You have to act naturally to be approachable, but people have to be open for change too.

[@MacabreStorytelling]

A better way to put it we've found is: "Be the best version of yourself" Basically, take a look at your strengths and weaknesses and optimize what you can.

[@pistachiosandpopcorn7146]

It means be your best self.

[@anonyfamous42]

If you try to act like a chad it will just not work and look very awkward. But if you are yourself and like like an awkward nerdy guy, it will also not work.

[@jacknico1891]

@@MacabreStorytelling Min-Max

[@j-69]

@@jacknico1891 gotta optimise your build bro

[@ProgShell]

That “who was the boss” interview was bone chilling. It was almost cartoonish. I’m glad the interviewer seemed to be as bewildered as I was.

[@eeeguba432]

Nothing like dodging accountability. "Its not pedophilia if the immature person that cant consent pursued the "Relationship" Sure

[@undeadblizzard]

Yeah being myself but let say I am in importing and exporting. I also do a lot of Cooking but not food.

[@johniewalker4356]

Being a man probably played a part. If the interviewer was a woman odds are she would agree with the rapist. Few women acknowledge male victimhood.

[@hannah-6080]

It’s heartbreaking and disgusting.

[@custardavenger]

Definitely. It's not a case I was aware of but in that piece of video it was so obvious its almost scary. I was glad the interviewer seemed to know what was going on.

[@saraeatsmovies]

Im a girl and this video is really giving me a new perspective. The way you articulated boys’ issues with dating in this video is unlike anything else I’ve seen or read before. My perspective on the issue of men feeling bad and struggling with “getting” women was always that it was super self centered and silly. I always thought “why do you need to be dating someone all the time?” And “am I supposed to feel bad for you? You aren’t entitled to sex” but now I see that there is so much more than just men wanting sex. It’s all a big mess that arises from a very human struggle that I can relate to. I understand seeking too much external validation, having trouble approaching people, and looking for confidence in things that are not in my control. I feel empathy for people struggling with this problem and I hope that they are introduced to this video and others like it so that they don’t veer off into the more toxic and misguided “solutions” out there. Thanks so much

[@vicvic2081]

It sucks.. i rather be dead everyday

[@ssssaa2]

Yeah a lot of guys have had literally no experience of a woman liking them ever despite putting themselves out there. It's legitimately terrible to live as a low value male. Women can't relate because virtually every women gets some attention and has some options socially and for dating. Some guys literally have nothing. NOTHING. PERIOD. That's something almost nobody understands if they aren't in it, because they and everyone they're around is not in that position so it's hard to imagine.

[@TitanTubs]

It's a real hell when you have nothing.. Just trying to better myself and put myself out there.. I can't imagine being on the spectrum, but with my social skills, I feel like I might as well be. Good luck.

[@jaredmello]

@Max Mooney I’ve had that experience too, except with severe social anxiety instead. Wasn’t fun. Supplements for anxiety have really helped me

[@patriciac.2796]

@@ssssaa2 i wouldn't agree with the women can't relate statement. While it's true that most women get some form of attention, when it's only old men sitting at cafés for example, that is simply being objectified and doesn't validate in any way.

[@1sonicthe]

Alright, but at what point do I show her my Bionicles collection?

[@bleeters5984]

Wait, you mean that isn't something you're meant to introduce yourself with?

[@notthis9586]

I would also like to know this. For purely academic purposes, of course.... *Glances nervously at the 30+ pounds of Bionicles on shelves around the room*

[@MacabreStorytelling]

Preferably during

[@ArchMageDarium]

After marriage. By that point, it doesn't really matter, does it?

[@MacabreStorytelling]

@@ArchMageDarium If you don't keep your Bionicle collection in tip top shape, that's a sure path to a nasty divorce

[@ihaveterriblerolls9531]

When you started talking about wishing the desires for sex, romance and human connection would just go away and wishing you could be happy with what I had I and just move on to other things, legitimately burst into tears because it felt like for the first time having someone truly understand my thoughts and feelings around this subject and actually giving proper advice as to how to help and get better. Every single word in this video is something I've needed and practically begged to hear for years. Thank you so much.

[@MacabreStorytelling]

❤️❤️❤️

[@Mad_Intalect]

@@MacabreStorytelling Man, your intro described my high school, college/early adulthood experience to a T. Even the part about laughing about it with your sister, used to do it with mine as well. Wow, thought I was alone out here. I was also too ashamed to ever talk about it, this is actually the first time I'm mentioning it anywhere.

[@milton7763]

I’m very surprised to read so many people state they thought they were alone in this. A good step in learning to deal with this: realize that 80% of people felt like this during at least some part of their adolescence. As the Bell curve goes, there are some for whom it lasts their entire adolescence (🙋‍♂️), fewer for whom it lasts into college years, and then inevitably you have a tail end of people for whom it lasts beyond that. I’m saying this as a deeply depressed person throughout my adolescence, who learnt to let go in college and didn’t have his first girlfriend until the age of 28 (and she’s now my wife and we have a wonderful son). You are the furthest away from being alone. But truly, the only ones that can truly help you are you yourself and time.

[@suzbone]

@@milton7763 and a good therapist is key too

[@monus782]

Mood

[@valerierodriguez8561]

My dad is 56, and still struggles with showing any kind of love, or emotion, other than anger to myself, and siblings. I hated him for a long time, but after giving birth to a son of my own, I realized he was brought up in a pretty toxic environment. I was scared to bring my son around him, but I'm so glad I did. He was loving, affectionate, and told me he wanted better for him. Regardless of how I feel about him, I'm really glad my son has him in his life. Knowing he's growing up around people who love, and validate my son, makes me happy. I know it's a little off-topic, but I'm all in my feels right now

[@MacabreStorytelling]

Same with my dad. While I held a lot of resentment upon learning he grew up with basically no support structure, while obviously it didn’t mend every wound, it helped me put my experience into context by empathizing. It may not fix everything but I think it is an important step. You sounds like you made a brave step for everyone involved ❤️

[@valerierodriguez8561]

@@MacabreStorytelling It was hard to make those first steps, but I'm happy I did. It was hard to forgive my dad for how badly he fucked me up, but for me personally, I couldn't go on feeling angry all the time. I went through men, and partied like crazy, just did whatever I could to get some sort of validation from men. When I finally met my now husband, it took a lot for me to feel worthy of him. It's insane how societal views of masculinity, and basically forcing men to deal with their own emotions, really fucks with not just the person, but the people in the person's life. I don't know if that made any sense, but your vid just brought up a lot of feelings I had buried. Not a bad thing

[@alexdamba7905]

@@valerierodriguez8561 Im sorry if im sounding insensitive but by your dad only showing anger towards you and your siblings wouldn't that warrant you cutting him out of your life and making she he gets no contact with your son? Thats abusive behavior and sure he loves him now when he's a cute little baby but couldn't he atill be a threat to your son?

[@valerierodriguez8561]

@@alexdamba7905 I guess it depends on the person, but after becoming a mom, and maturing, I find myself willing to give people second chances, and forgive. The way I see it, holding on to anger, and resentment only hurts you in the long run. My son is going on 8, and my dad still shows him love, and hasn't shown any of his toxic traits towards him, or any of us. If he does, believe me, I'll cut him out of our lives completely, and never want him around again.

[@benjones621]

My dad was never abusive and worked so much when I was young I didn't see him as much as I'd like. Watching him with my son now that he works less shows me what he really wanted to do but was focused on providing for his family. I love him more now.

[@kev9617]

29:25 damn this happened to me. A girl, really beautiful to me, was being nice and friendly. A friend let me know months later that she was hitting on me and that me not pursuing her meant I turned her down -- I was really into her, I both didn't know that being friendly with a classmate meant you were flirting and took it that I shouldn't be too creepy.

[@Overseer2579]

I know, it can be confusing sometimes. I’m also coming at this as an autistic person (which means I have difficulty with understanding social cues sometimes, though not nearly as much as I used to). But yeah, from my past experience, I’ve now learned that, if someone you like is constantly wanting to be around you, or going out of their way to talk to you no matter what the reason, usually those are pretty strong indicators that they like you, or have grown to like you, more than just a friend. They also will often probably light up like a Christmas tree when they see you coming. Is this a 10/10 guarantee? No, but its all a good rule of thumb, I’d say. But none of it discounts the importance, imo, of asking how she feels, or asking if she’s flirting. You definitely always want to talk about how y’all feel when you’ve developed feelings for someone. I’ve been in your situation, so I’m very sympathetic and so that’s why I said all this. But I’m sure you’ll find a great lady someday, and you’ll learn from your previous encounters and mistakes and do better :)

[@tiyas5378]

Yah it's really confusing. Because friendliness can be either a sign of romantically interest, or a sign of the absence of romanti interest. This might be more of female-specific issue, cause we're socialised to never come on strong, to always let the male take initiative -- cause otherwise we're "too easy" or "a whore" or "un-womanly", whatever any of that even means. It's really fucking silly actually: Women are allowed to develop emotional intelligence and are taught to indirect in communicating romantic interest, but men aren't allowed to develop the same emotional intelligence that would allow them to be perceptive to that kind of indirect communication. So nobody can understand anybody and everything is a fucking mess. Except for queer people, I guess. Why do we as a species go out of our way to invent problems for ourselves? So fucking weird.

[@astk5214]

I don't do love with friends, friends are for live , love 4 years most, 2 weeks usually

[@od3910]

I love that we're finally having emotional and nuanced discussions about male issues. Young men especially have been shafted in proper discussions and education. We ignore them and make fun of them. Thank you for actually looking at this and hopefully helping people in the future. You've already helped me look at my own beliefs.

[@MacabreStorytelling]

❤

[@ferrisbueller9991]

'The Future is Female'

[@ganhis]

@Redrustyhill I gave a read to Tao Te Ching a few years back, each turn of a page was an effort to avoid puking. Traditional eastern philosophy is misogynistic to the maximum extent. Yet again, we cannot judge a book of a different time with today's values. Now we know better.

[@JohnJohnson-fr5cx]

@@ganhis I wish everyone that commented on YT sounded like you 💕 Honestly, that was so eloquent it was beautiful.

[@PalashaGabarra]

@@ganhis Traditional, conservative values are not a result of hatred for women. They can be very insightful and grounded in reality. The problem is you're looking at it through a modern progressive lens. The concept of "equality" is bullshit. You would probably be happier if you tried letting a man that you perceive as masculine take the lead. You've been led to believe that embracing your natural role as a woman makes you inferior or lesser, which is ironically closer to misogyny than what the other side believes. 50/50 equal partnerships are not natural or wholesome, and to be honest, they don't exist. I've never known a couple that managed to achieve true equality. Every couple that claims to be an equal partnership is actually just female dominant.

[@kolonarulez5222]

As a mid 20s woman I truly appreciate the effort and honesty in this video. I've also never felt better about giving up completely on the dating scene. How awful for both sides.

[@MacabreStorytelling]

It can be rough but have faith! If it’s something you really want there are ways to make it happen 👌

[@Jose_Doe]

Damn sucks it came to that but understandablr

[@coiledsteel8344]

Feminism unleashed True Female Nature in ALL of it's Hypergamous ways.

[@MacabreStorytelling]

@@coiledsteel8344 take your pills grandpa

[@idminister]

@@MacabreStorytelling "The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked" for men AND women and any other, the sexual revolution (second sexual revolution) had major gains in destroying the cultural-societal restraints upon people following their heart (wicked) over duty to civilization and future generations. Considering the timing of 2nd revolution (post WW2), it may well have been pushed from behind the scenes by communists as a way to weaken the west, which by the way are the nations most influenced by it today.

[@Jason87241]

I wish more people could see this video, especially teen boys. I’ve never seen someone speak so candidly and clearly about the issues facing young men in terms of forming relationships but every day it’s becoming more and more important to acknowledge and fight this problem. Great video, liked and subscribed.

[@MacabreStorytelling]

I appreciate it my man. Hope all is well!

[@shanez1215]

I wish I could bring this video back in time and show my 13 year old self.

[@ova9thouson445]

man me too

[@danix8538]

If you haven't seen people speak more articulately about this subject look up Rollo Tomassi which this coward put up an image of but didn't have the guts to name. Have a scroll through his videos or blog and compare what he talks about with your life. And then with the tepid stuff Smarmy storytelling put up. See which ones line up better with reality.

[@MacabreStorytelling]

@@danix8538 oof triggered. I’m having a call in Q&A on Saturday. Want to call in and discuss this, that is unless you are too much of a coward to do so...

[@arinad3373]

This provides great insights into what men go through. As a woman, finding insights about what men actually deal with, without exaggeration or lies has been very difficult. This feels vulnerable and real. Thank you for the video. I have learnt so much.

[@debanikgoswami4834]

What works for me is to approach a girl and take the risk of getting rejected.

[@hana-chan420]

The point you made about introverted people perceiving others as being perfect social butterflies way above their level despite the possibility that they too may be feeling lonely, was like a bucket of ice cold water. My thought process has been so narrow when it comes to talking to strangers since i have social anxiety, and it leads me to not want to try approaching others who I believe to be "better than me". What does a socially awkward person look like anyway? Or a depressed person? Anyone can feel isolated and invisible. It's difficult to understand that you are not the only person who feels these things when you're so deep into the dark corners of your mind, but hearing someone else day it so loud and clearly is very refreshing.

[@MacabreStorytelling]

❤

[@BitchChill]

Weeb

[@MacabreStorytelling]

@@BitchChill bitch, chill

[@copiumforthepeople]

you had 69 likes, but I just couldn‘t resist giving you another one

[@lintang790]

"not wanting to try approach people that looks better than me" Yeah I relate so much. I think it got to do with my low self-esteem or something.

[@thecynicalcinephile8211]

This is one of the most sensical cultural analyses I've ever seen.

[@MacabreStorytelling]

❤️

[@SGT676]

Wow a video about men's issue that doesn't go as "Women have it worse so shut up" or "Just stop being depressed or insecure" good job sir commenting for the algorithm to do it's thing

[@mikek9297]

A surprisingly lucid take on the issue. Haven't seen anything like that since Cassie Jaye's "Red Pill"

[@thefabulousoogabooga6410]

Tara Moo person didn't give in depth advice like this youtuber (bc that is not really her content), But she also showed a lot of empathy to those seeking pick up advice. She even said the whole "women have it worse so shut up thing.." is not productive and men's issues are valid. The title of her video is literally starts with "not all pickup artists are bad"

[@reydetodoynada]

I listen to this every now and then... It helps a bit every time. I hope you truly understand the importance this video has on every man that watches it. Your work is inspiring. Truly, thank you.

[@MacabreStorytelling]

❤️

[@evanmaldonado9799]

I just finished it, everything said in this video really resonated with me a lot. I definitely needed to watch this.

[@timmancillas8326]

I’ve been seeing more content with positive messages for men lately. It’s a good sign.

[@MacabreStorytelling]

👍

[@timmancillas8326]

Keep up the good work. This is perhaps the best video I’ve seen on the subject matter.

[@ulirichert7691]

It's a good sign to have any content on that topic. The bad thing is, it's very likely that you only found it because of the KZbin algorithem. The people that need to be taught some understanding of this, will never see this video or related content.

[@connorbeaton8375]

I really think that we need to empower both men and women to enjoy who they are. Spaces for both groups are important. (:

[@ImortalZeus13]

@@connorbeaton8375 People don't need "spaces" they need self respect and some discipline.

[@ernyae8928]

you can clearly see that this is a massive issue in dire need of being addressed just by looking at the amount of comments saying that this is really one of the first pieces of media that most guys have seen take an honest, nuanced take on the societal expectations and issues that men face on an almost every day basis. great job on the video man, the comment section being so full of support gives me hope that we can keep on having these sorts of discussions.

[@MacabreStorytelling]

❤️

[@zoidberg444]

The manosphere have been talking about this for years but we got smeared, shouted down or shadow banned.

[@MacabreStorytelling]

@@zoidberg444 cuz it got co opted by clowns and grifters

[@zoidberg444]

@@MacabreStorytelling Well there might be a few grifters like a lot of the PUA's who flock around the likes of Rollo but fundamentally they were right. PUA didn't work for me but the rational male is a good place to start for any man who realises he has been lied to whether you are PUA, MGTOW (like me) or Incel they were all spitting true facts about female nature the intellectual disagreements were minor but quite vitriolic. Sounds to me like you are some kind of astroturf like "contrapoints"sent into try and co-opt men who come looking for answers with the same discredited left wing ideology.

[@blacklightredlight2945]

It's because boys clubs tend to get tribal really fast. They invite misogynists into the community to train men to dehumanize women for their own pleasure and it starts collapsing around them. MGTOW started as a movement of men doing their own thing, but it turned tribal and toxic because they didn't keep out the people that see women as subhuman and evil. They start with good intentions, but if you let one nazi into your bar, you will eventually become a nazi bar.

[@realsgtstupid]

The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck is actually a pretty solid book tbh

[@MacabreStorytelling]

👍

[@theirishpotato6588]

Yee

[@ExLas09]

@ant I have read it some time ago. There are nice ideas most people already know on some level, but packaged together so it helps reaffirm them and put them in context of each other. Also there is some fluff and bs here and there no self help book is immune from that I guess. But the anecdotes and the way they are used are abhorrent. Most anecdotes are only partially true and facts are adjusted to confirm the points the author is making. I guess it engages the average reader, but I found it manipulative where instead of giving a solid argument of statistics for his view, the author appeals to emotions with an exciting "real" life example. The whole book actually has a bit of a "written by a dating coach" sleazy vibe. But despite that i found it a quick and easy read that helps further internalize good ideas even if you don't remember everything the book says in the long run. I recommend.

[@truffeltroll6668]

I'd suggest Erich Fromm's book about love.

[@victoriadondo5450]

@ant I’ve been reading the book for a while now and while I’m not done with it it has taught me a few important things so far. 1. As people we need to care about things, not caring about anything makes you a psychopath. However we don’t need to care about all the things we’re told we need to care about. We should care about the truly important things in our lives that provide meaning. 2. Our success does not have to be defined by how extraordinary we are. Most of us are mediocre and will go in to live somewhat mediocre lives and that is ok. We don’t need to become the next biggest rock star, or world class athlete, or genius. We don’t have to be considered “great” by the world to live a good life. For some just having a decent job or having a family or doing what they love is enough. 3. Life is not fair and sometimes the position that we are in is not our fault. Wether we are dealt a bad hand in life or live in unfortunate circumstances. However it is our responsibility how we chose to react to our circumstances. In life we always have a choice. this was just paraphrasing and the book is really good I would recommend it. I would also recommend watching Mark Manson’s ( the author) KZbin video where he summarizes it. And if you don’t want to read it you can listen to it in audiobook on KZbin. 😊

[@crazycarpguy1074]

I wanted to take a minute to give the most sincere thank you I ever have, and ever will. It's really a shame I can't say this in person, but... you saved me. I was going down this doomed quest without realizing it. I was completely brainwashed by redpill/pickup, had such a bitterness toward women, and as a result had debilitating anxiety, depression, loneliness and anger. I have been seeing a therapist for the last few months which had helped tremendously, but it always felt like something was still missing. This was it. I wish I could somehow say this with more emphasis, but from the absolute bottom of my heart, thank you.

[@MacabreStorytelling]

You saved yourself homes ❤️👍

[@nagateja7618]

This made me tear up. The nuance and kindness you have shown in this vid is the most I have seen anyone do. Which makes me think if you have made as an advise to younger self. Thanks Macabre! Thanks for this.

[@MacabreStorytelling]

❤️

[@UATHD]

When you said about physically not being able to cry I felt that. Recently I turned 20 and I just couldn't cry for the life of me. No matter how much I did. Few tears shed out but you can't actually cry for more than 10 secs. I wish I could cry again.

[@MacabreStorytelling]

❤

[@K4113B4113]

I experienced that too. Probably because I hated crying as a kid. I always felt so weak. Then eventually I just couldn't cry. I don't remember how I got over it though. Maybe it was watching the movie 'Warrior'. Honestly. Crying is cathartic. Just don't force it or overthink it.

[@UATHD]

@@K4113B4113 I experienced it in my first heartbreak. I was told that she was not attracted to me after a year of being together. I wanted to cry so bad. But yeah that day I realized that I can't cry anymore

[@timonpasslick]

Talking about emotions to a good friend can help. At least it helped me. I can cry normally since then.

[@Kurayamiblack]

I cried for the first time in 10 years just the other day. But I was daydreaming about some kinda messed up stuff and got caught up in the drama super hard. I oddly felt more human afterward though, almost like I needed to cry for a long time but never knew it.

[@supergoodname778]

"Patrolling the Mojave almost makes you wish for a nuclear winter" The only pickup line you'll ever need

[@MacabreStorytelling]

based

[@erievhs]

Hail to caesar

[@josephnjenga7179]

Ave,true to Caesar

[@rtm224]

"You take a sip from your trusty Vault 13 canteen"

[@sirsurnamethefirstofhisnam7986]

“I hate sand, it’s rough, it’s coarse and irritating, and it gets everywhere” this line bagged anakin a princess

[@JorgeLopez-jd8ds]

Bruh. It's been years. But I am back, with a girlfriend with a strong social network. And it is incredible to me how much this video helped me

[@MacabreStorytelling]

❤️💪

[@elasolovey986]

I highly respect you for the last part of the video. I'm not even a man but I do think the way society treats male sexual assault survives is just the worst. Not to forget that the way society taught boys to bottle up their feelings. Being in therapy for 1 year now I know this will lead to depression sooner or later and you will use unhealthy coping strategies like drugs, sex or food addiction to deal with the amount of inner stress. For everyone of you who has dealt with any kind of abuse: trauma can't be measured in a way of who has it worse. Keep in mind that you are be seen, your wounds and your trauma is valid and you have every reason to feel sad or angry about it. No other person has the right to downplay your abuse.

[@MacabreStorytelling]

❤️❤️❤️

[@Inshibevisangue]

I've been struggling with some of the comments here. I appreciate this one. Thank you. Let's carry the flag.

[@MacabreStorytelling]

@@thotslayer9914 sure do 👍

[@elasolovey986]

@@thotslayer9914 I have but I'm not that good in speaking, because it's not my native language.

[@elasolovey986]

@@thotslayer9914 You can message my E-Mail if you want.

[@apricot8301]

Chapter 2 is really the heart of the issue. No one wants to give young men advice on thier issues. They want them to just "figure it out". Then complain when guys go to these "misogynistic" communities for help.

[@amenra6042]

That is what blocks the masculine polarity. The nature of the polarities is that the masculine celebrates the feminine, and the feminine helps the masculine know himself. The union of mind and heart. Usually the healed feminine wants commitment and intimacy because she embodies just that- love. The masculine wants to be able to celebrate the feminine for doing so, so he helps to know himself by taking action, learning from receptivity. When we tell men to “figure it out” we say to them “you don’t know yourself, and we’re not going to accept you until you do”. They fail to realize that the masculine cannot know himself if he doesn’t interact. Saying “you don’t have to have it figured out, open up when you’re ready” sends the message that it is safe to be vulnerable while not knowing thyself, which is often what the feminine does- express before thinking afterwards. The two polarities can heal each other if one is able to be the catalyst for healing. A side bit; how to heal the feminine? The opposite. Before expressing, know what you want and know yourself better to not receive junk. The healed masculine is open in decisive action, and the healed feminine is filtered in receptivity. Since humans have masculine and feminine characteristics (such as the motor and receptor functions in the brain, or the right and left brains, etc) we can also heal this within ourselves. If a man just goes to any women without thinking, he should heal his inner feminine.

[@dogman5791]

@@amenra6042 lol shut up

[@amenra6042]

@@dogman5791 I’m sorry your sausage fingers can’t press “read more”

[@dogman5791]

@@amenra6042 ummmm, making fun of overweight people? so much for the masculine knowing himself, he should heal his inner feminine, amen.

[@amenra6042]

@@dogman5791 I was pointing out your lack of acceptance of other peoples’ point of view, hence you trying to shut someone up. The wounded masculine closes off and you seem to project that onto me. Sorry, but I can’t fix you for you. Until you learn to actually listen you will remain narrow minded. And I do know myself, enough that I am able to point out red flags in others. Being overweight is one, and refusing to actually read something is another. If you can’t handle it, perhaps you should figure out why it triggers you.

[@UKcrispergirl]

This is some intense honesty I wasnt ready for. Kudos, man. Mad respect.

[@MacabreStorytelling]

❤️

[@logy650]

Those last twenty minutes or so really hit home. *S O C I E T Y* sure has a lot of problems to deal with.

[@Georg3e]

Yasss

[@IntrusiveThot420]

@@MacabreStorytelling wow, I was kinda nervous to start watching this because I figured it'd be the usual red / blackpill bullshit. A+ so far though I'm only like 10 minutes in.

[@MacabreStorytelling]

@@IntrusiveThot420 It gets worse...

[@Gui-xg5mi]

I just want to say thank you for the help. I'm a college student and a girl approached me a few weeks ago and talked to me and I wasn't sure what to do, and every time I tried to talk to her I kept psyching myself out. But now that I know I shouldn't be worrying about how the conversation will go, or that I shouldn't worry about achieving anything through the conversation other than talking I was able to finally converse with her. She even said she would like to talk me to again. Thank you.

[@kade3788]

Clicked by accident and watched all the way through. You snapped with this one, chief. Over the past year and a half I’v been dealing with trying to navigate the trauma of my last relationship all alone. The woman in the clip at the end hit close to home. I can’t explain how refreshing it was to have my experience validated by this video. You are incredibly well spoken when speaking on these nuanced topics and I can’t thank you enough for all your efforts in creating this. This comment section speaks for itself, you’ve done a fantastic job here sir.

[@MacabreStorytelling]

❤️❤️❤️ comment made my day. Thank you sir and I hope you are doing well.

[@neltins5308]

This is the problem with feminism, men would literally have none of the problems with women, sex, dating, and many other problems millennial & gen z men have in life not related to women at all like not having strong social networks, support systems & groups to socially uplift or bond with other men. If they weren't convinced to abandon their masculinity & power, while pedestaling and empowering women to be masculine & dominant as much as they can both in the education system, workplace, social groups... Ignorantly not realizing no matter what the opposite sex tells them, what society tells them to be, women are most attracted to a masculine superior man who takes charge, this is the man she will listen to, submit to subconsciously, respect more & not give bullshit or cheating hyper gamy whatever the fuck you call cheating shit to. Telling all men to be as good as possible and kind, decent, gentle or whatever BS while simultaneously telling young girls they can never do wrong, excusing all their behavior & telling them they're princesses, queens, deserve everything for doing nothing is bound to end in disaster. God knows I'm not raising my son to feed into feministic women first bs.

[@MacabreStorytelling]

@@neltins5308 you really spent a lot of time to type out a heaping pile of tiddlywinks my dood

[@neltins5308]

​@@MacabreStorytelling holy, I actually watched the video and this is mind blowing real ****, its rare to see the truth being told in such an unbiased manner on the internet, and i've never heard someone talk about some of this at all, brilliant video. I agree a lot with Chapter II, and it can keep guys in sort of loop hole following useless guidelines that don't apply to them, or the girl they're interested in. I think since all of us young people are a lot more used to the internet we have lost the social skills & emotional intelligence past generations naturally had from having more of their fun in person, we also don't know for sure how things actually are due to all the noise on the internet.

[@LinusVinnportlaced]

The last part of this video had disgusted me inside and out. I'm pregnant with my first little boy, and I'd break that woman's jaw if she did that to him. Men and especially young boy's trauma from sexual abuse should taken seriously. There's too many cases of teacher's abusing their male students, and they get a slap on the wrist because the abuser "made a mistake, and need help."

[@MacabreStorytelling]

👍

[@luchan1638]

The end truly disturbed me.... She is absolutely out of her mind .... Terrifying. Blaming him, manipulating him. As a European, I have never heard this story. It truly shocked me...especially how the media portrays cases like this.

[@Kaddywompous]

What got me was the fact that he was right: I didn’t remember his name but her name is branded in my memory. His trauma was diminished and forgotten.

[@blacklightredlight2945]

@@Kaddywompous Yeah, it's an unfortunate byproduct of women being seen as lesser than men, by default they're also the victim because they're the "weaker" group.

[@Ashtasticle94]

That's women for you

[@jimbob929]

I've watched this video probably a half dozen times at this point, coming back to it every 6 months or so. I really can't overstate how meaningful it is to have a piece of media that basically lays out all my issues with how damaging a lack of social acumen can be as a man. It makes me feel heard and seen by someone that doesn't make me want to retch (like some of the colostomy bags mentioned). Thank you.

[@elijahcolbert220]

As a young man with no experience with dating but still far from the tipping point this was really refreshing to hear. I can’t wait to put some of the productive tips you mentioned to use and stay away from the negatives

[@HariKrishnan-kx1is]

If you're young and you have the level of self awareness that this video is talking about then you are already on a good path. Unfortunately a lot of men don't even get to that stage until they're much older.

[@MacabreStorytelling]

Good luck!

[@polin1710]

i am a gay teen girl but same

[@Centuries_of_Nope]

Clearly modern woman just don't understand the cultural complexities of Beyblade or the deeper nuances of Scooby Doo Cyber Chase.

[@Eris_Norregard]

I'm sorry, did you just say Beyblade AND Scooby Doo in one sentence?! Screw this, I never wanted to be a modern woman anyway. :D

[@Introvertsan]

🤣😂

[@V4Now]

A man after my own heart😢

[@mafiaseargent]

But everyone knows the best Scooby Doo movie was Scooby Doo on Zombie Island. It had that killer chase song "Cuz it's terroooooor time again!"

[@robertcunningham1695]

Damn cyber chase that shit takes me back

[@youm345]

In certain places, asking for the time is a strat to get someone's phone out to steal it/ get someone to fiddle with their purse so they can be knocked down and stolen from. So if you ask a lady for the time and she gives you a death stare and keeps moving, don't take it personally

[@MacabreStorytelling]

Noted lol

[@Clickstop24]

This video is SEVERLY underrated in so many ways. I learned so much. Mostly how to articulate why I think hbomb videos can be entertaining but ultimately mid for nuanced discussion. i.e. half his arguments and discussion time of any video seems to be directly related to dunking on someone twitter style

[@MacabreStorytelling]

A caveat I would make it that I think what HBomb accomplished IS important. For a lot of these red pill/PUA guys, it is important to reframe them as less "cool" and more "cringe". This is sort of the first step in getting younger guys out of that headspace. BUT then there comes the time when these needs to be an alternative or they will just gravitate back.

[@alim.9801]

​@@MacabreStorytelling that's a really good conclusion to come to on the topic I think

[@swatihun2]

Watching this as a woman has been very helpful, I feel like I've gained a whole new perspective on what the dating life is like for guys. I think I'm now better equipped to give support to my younger brother (He has a speech impediment). Great video‼

[@MacabreStorytelling]

❤

[@moritzwagner4332]

I feel like I've seen you somewhere.

[@swatihun2]

@@moritzwagner4332 what do you mean?

[@moritzwagner4332]

@UCNgIjWCKIZxkFf-yBe9wVzQ I'm sorry, I confused you with another person.

[@moritzwagner4332]

@@swatihun2 wth.

[@Silvanam444]

As a young woman, who has never been forced to deal with male standards or the idea of what being a "real man is" I'm really thankful for this video. You had a very honest conversation about the problems with the idealization of some pickup artist methods and simultaneously painted a sympathetic picture for the issues that men face in terms of dating and socializing with the opposite sex. I subscribed for the cuties rewrite and stayed for movie commentary. All movie stuff apart, I hope you know how great these videos are and how needed a perspective like this was. I hope you keep on making more videos that touch similar issues

[@MacabreStorytelling]

❤

[@JUDALATION]

of coarse you like these videos... they completely let women off the hook.

[@MacabreStorytelling]

@@JUDALATION uh oh we got an edgy boy. In what sense does this video let women off the hook?

[@trichybeats3882]

@@MacabreStorytelling how is he an edge boy for stating facts? You don’t hold women accountable for they way they hold men in society

[@MacabreStorytelling]

@@trichybeats3882 I literally asked him where in my video I do that. You haven’t given me any indication as to where either so if you’d like to identify that I would be more than willing to engage in discussion.

[@thehighprophetoftruth7493]

This is mostly me just talking about my trauma because I feel like I need to say what I went through. When I was in 11th grade My English teacher bullied me to the point of suicide. She would degrade me in front of other students, insult my work. I even found out she was grading my answers differently than other children. My mom pulled me out of that school. I was barely getting any attention at home because my mom was dealing with my dying grandfather, and my dad was busy with his job. We found out that I was Autistic. Through years of therapy have helped, I still struggle socially. my biggest issue with what I currently face is there are no programs to help me find friends or healthy relationships. I often had to figure that out myself. Any groups that I went to were made up of other autistic kids that were farther along the spectrum than me, and two adults. There were no other kids there that could normal. That was the biggest issue, a lack of no controlled reactions. This only compounded the issues I was facing at the time. I had no one who was socially functional in my social circle When I entered college I uncovered the fact I was molested as a child. It was a traumatic memory. I was 5. I was held down and could not breathe while my abuser attacked me. I was luck that it was at a house party, and my mother came in looking for me. she knew what was happening and we immediately left. I am at peace with that trauma now. I will never be at peace with how I was treated as a male survived. I went to a support group on campus and was the only Guy there. I felt so uncomfortable with the way they were looking at me, that when it came time for me to talk I just could not form words, so I ran out. no one came after me. I remember seeing some of those girls around campus and the weird looks that gave me there was no compassion in their eyes. My mother died of cancer when I was 23. She had it for most of my childhood. After her funeral, my sister told me how our mother made her promise to help me find a partner. My sister proudly told me she was not going to help me at all. she also told me how I should never talk about my abuse because some women had it worse. I have a visceral memory of when I was crying out in agony on the floor I look up to see her expressionless face staring down at me telling me how I need to shut up because I am scaring the dogs. I've almost fallen down the dark alt-right misogynist before. I had to recognize them for what the were, paths that only led to hate, and not to any form of peace or contentment. I physically can't cry no matter how hard I try. it made all the sadness worse. All the advice I been given makes me realize one thing. Advice is the lowest form of help. if it is even helping. No one was there to help get me in social situations where I could succeed, and make healthy connections. No one was there to hold my hand in overwhelming situations, I was just thrown into the fire. but how people told me how I just had to get out there, yet never told me where or sat down to help me find a place. As I've gotten older I have realized we do not just need sexual education at schools, but also emotional and relationship education. Classes that teach people what healthy coping strategies are, and how to empathize, and help others. How to navigate dating and have healthy standards, and what healthy relationships look like. In addition, we need groups that can help survivors of abuse, non-neurotypical people, and people who struggle socially; find healthy and meaningful friendships and romantic relationships. Setting these systems up would help out those who struggle so much.

[@MacabreStorytelling]

Hope you are doing well 💓💓💓

[@nilo5747]

That all must have been so awful. I hope you're in a much better place now, and I hope one day you'll find someone who you can feel comfortable sharing what happened to you. You deserve better, and I wish you the best of luck in the future.

[@maxwellsdemon6599]

This was a hard read, I can’t imagine how difficult it must have been to live it. You survived and the fact that you are here is something you can be proud of. I hope you are doing well and wish you all the best, from the bottom of my heart ❤️

[@V4Andy]

I'm so sorry you've had to walk such a difficult journey alone. It might not be much but I'm wishing you genuine love and happiness brother.

[@dysxSRJEY]

Hope you're doing better fren, we're all gonna make it

[@ktleen]

My comment will probably go unnoticed but i want to pour my heart out. The rock bottom story really hit home because i can relate to that feeling of desperation for intimacy and a meaningful relationship. I didn`t have the best family, financially and or else. I dont know my biologic father and the step father that i have is kind of a fuck up and really no male figure in my life that i could look up to. Basically until 20 years i didn`t have any female friends or any other contact with a female romantically. I wasn`t socially inept, i could make a phone call or talk to random strangers without going into a cardiac arrest. But with girls it was whole different story. That changed when a friend asked me if i want to go to this party i said yes and then i was hooked. Not because i immediately blossomed socially like but because of the drugs. I started to do drugs like mdma and weed and that removed some of my social filters. I started talking to girls who themselves were doing drugs and soon enough i joined a social group that had male and female individuals. We went to party every weekend and when i say party i mean hardcore raves that went on for 24+. Because i wanted to feel socially accepted in the group i started doing more and more drugs, you name it: ketamine, speed, cocaine, pills, weed, often combined and this went on for 2 years not because i really wanted to do drug myself to death but because i wanted their validation. I wanted to be one of them. This one girl in the group i got really close with. At first glance we had a lot in common and she seemed like she liked me and that was it, i was "in love". I basically was a simp for her. I did everything just to do what i thought it would please her but she didnt feel the same way altho we stayed really close. I would get really upset whenever she would talk to another guy or didnt give me the attention i wanted. Some time passed and somehow we were about to have sex. I was 22 and still a virgin. In my head i was failure, a fuck up, worthless. I lived with the idea that men should have sex with as many women as possibile or you`re doomed. I put on the condom and i froze. I told her im a virgin and she had a blank reaction. She didnt knew how to comfort me. I didnt even sleeped with her in the same bed. I just went in the living room and stared for hours at the balcony, dissociated and embarassed. After that i feld something changed inside me, she knew my secret, i was paranoid. What if she tells the others? What if this and that? I fell in a hole. I was doing more drugs, party more, sleeped less and whole pletora of bad habbits. I was in a dark place. I was crying for no reason all the time. And i still wanted her validation. The weekend came and so the party. I was at the party for more and 10 hours. Drugged out of my mind and i see her speaking with a guy. Went to the club bathroom, punched the wall until my fists bleed i started to cry. Went to my car where i had a panic attack for an hour. It was a nightmare. My rock bottom. Thats when i realised she didnt matter and i needed help. I felt lonely and miserable. I went to therapy and took the first steps accepting myself for who i am. A man who grew without a father, with 22 years of society telling me i need to man up. To not ever talk about my feelings or what im going throu. I learned a lot from therapy and now im doing much better, altho i still learn what it means to be a man. Thank you for this video

[@MacabreStorytelling]

Thank you homes 👍

[@tigwykplaysgames]

Thank you for being vulnerable with us. I'm glad you found your true self, bud.

[@ktleen]

@@tigwykplaysgames yeah. Im glad too. Since then my life only improved a lot and for the first time in my life i have goals and ambitions and im really optimistic about the future. Sometimes i guess you only need a push on the edge for you to realize your worth. And im glad i went through those times otherwise i wouldn't be the man i am today

[@imnotusingmyrealname4566]

My muscles are twitching and I'm tearing up. This topic is my greatest vulnerability. I experienced none of what you did, I have autism and my social life was very low. Even though I know you were in a place of hurt I would still want what you had simply because it's an experience. The only time in life where I didn't wish I had the life of someone else was while I was hospitalized in psychiatry. It was the best time of my life. Sadly all the progress that was made there has been lost.

[@hecateinanna3925]

This is exactly what I wrote my thesis on when I got a degree in gender studies in 2014. I can't tell you how many people were callous and dismissive of the entire topic. This was pre incels, early days of the MRA. And I was like "there's genuine feelings that people are experiencing here and I want to explore them." but the entire idea was always laughed at, even by my professors. I got a B+ 😂

[@456MrPeople]

Gender studies can be used for good. It’s not all just extreme feminism.

[@hecateinanna3925]

@@456MrPeople I mean... I got a degree in it.... I know

[@SikGamer70]

@@hecateinanna3925 When I think of Gender Studies, the first thought that comes to my mind is a group of mostly women being radicalized by radical feminist professors. I hope I'm wrong because that just sounds immoral. Universities/colleges are supposed to be a place where all ideas are explored and given the tools to do so, not a place for brainwashing. How much does this line up with your experience studying gender studies?

[@potaterjim]

@@SikGamer70 the idea that "universities are brainwashing people with far-left ideologies" is just a conspiracy theory. Universities ARE places where all ideas are explored. And as a natural consequence, people are discovering the merit in the otherwise heavily censored left-wing politics that have been hidden from them throughout life. I mean think about it, it would be like thinking "all these people going to school for radioactive materials keep trying to warn us about radiation. Are they being brainwashed by big-solar energy?"

[@varogoth]

@@potaterjim i'd love to live in a world where this was true.

[@brokenmug6449]

Guys as an active member of the discord , I can honestly tell you this video has been one of the most tumultuous videos Mac will ever make. Multiple people left in fear of what will happen when this video drops . One things for sure this can either be his greatest video ever or his worst. But I mean come on we all know this is gonna rock. Right?

[@Luke-nn4pm]

rip Sun

[@MacabreStorytelling]

I hope she comes back. I don't think the vid will nearly be as controversial as many assumed it would be so I hope it won't lead to any permanent effects.

[@LCMaestro15]

@@MacabreStorytelling i think so too dude. Give it time.

[@iagosoriano3734]

Damn, there's a story here

[@Gilburrito]

Huh

[@fullmetaltheorist]

If she hates my Bakugan collection she has got to go.

[@markwill3515]

Lmaaaooooo 😅😅😅😅😅!!!!

[@candersson60]

You go King, hold your head high

[@milton7763]

That’s exactly the wrong attitude: if she hates your Bakugan collection but can accept that’s your thing as long as you don’t need to tell her about it for hours on end, that’s a girl to go for. She’s your girlfriend not your friend

[@plamondonworks6948]

Absolutely fair

[@mikek9297]

@@milton7763 If she's not your friend, she's not your girlfriend.

[@psychedelicartistry]

This video was amazing. I'm not an incel but I was going down a dark path b/c of the things you described I was being bitter and jaded and this video helped me articulate why I felt the way I did!! Thanks!

[@psychedelicartistry]

Somehting else that's crazy I'm also 5'10" 225 lb LOL.

[@elizabethlockhart2103]

Oh hooooooly fuck. You nailed it with the "addicted to validation" thing. I just had a terrible revelation, but I'm glad I had it. Wonderful video, wonderful writing, excellent and nuanced discussion of the topic.

[@MacabreStorytelling]

❤👍

[@ziwuri]

I'm gonna assume your gender based on your name but anyway, interesting to see that both men and women have the same struggles and that you found this video interesting enough to watch it even though it just screams how it's for men :)

[@ianbowden2524]

"Calling a guy a virgin is an insult" ahhhaa raised Christian. Hearing this sounds like a compliment. Dodging them sins left n right.

[@coffeemug1012]

Virgin

[@ianbowden2524]

@@coffeemug1012 thx

[@Zero-tk1hb]

My man here dodging sins like he is Neo.

[@redactedcanceledcensored6890]

my alpha sensors just went off charts bro

[@VikingBadass94]

dab on those sinners XD

[@sylviatripodi1444]

i am a gay woman and i am _incredibly_ grateful for everything you have said in this video. thank you for the genuinely helpful dating advice. i never really considered many of the viewpoints you’ve shared. i am so grateful you have found help for your problems, and i’m truly sorry you’ve had to face the struggles you did.

[@Eirikasacredstones]

@@nikobitan7294 rood doooood, my guy.

[@nikobitan7294]

@@Eirikasacredstones I don't care that I'm "rude" towards misogynists roleplaying as women.

[@Eirikasacredstones]

@@nikobitan7294 big man, ain't ya? Did your girl leave you for another woman or something and you're pissed about that?

[@ohh7759]

Same here! Not necessarily looking for a date but I want to get to know more queer and likeminded people and his advice just seems so helpful and sincere. Generally this was such an interesting video essay and I’m really appreciative for how through and honest it was c:

[@Eirikasacredstones]

@Amy Ritchie what is there to reply to? I wasnt talking about mtf. But yes you are correct, you wouldn't believe how much I had to pump myself up to respond to you, still quaking a little right now tbh.

[@Jordan-ld8ic]

2 years later, this video still holds so many unalienable truths about the unseen struggles of the modern young man. I hope that more people find this and watch this as time goes on

[@crimsoncross8823]

Always is good to see dudes talking about dude problems in a more healthy way. Aba and Preach are also two youtubers who speak about similar issues

[@jc_illustrates_]

Vaush too! It's more political but still

[@ajiththomas2465]

@@jc_illustrates_ True. His videos on Advice for Incels and his video about Socializing After The Pandemic were pretty great.

[@jc_illustrates_]

@@ajiththomas2465 agreeeee

[@MacabreStorytelling]

I truly appreciated Vaush's take on the incel issue.

[@ajiththomas2465]

@@MacabreStorytelling Yeah, his take was pretty great, especially with how empathetic he was to the loneliness and alienation that Incels felt while also drawing the line and pointing out at how cringey the misogynistic beliefs of Incels are. Rather than condemnation, it felt like a friendly, concerned, understanding and stern talk from a big brother like figure. That's what I would say is the main appeal of Vaush's Incels videos. Also, I liked your Male Body Transformations video and I found a trilogy of videos by a KZbinr named Salari about the male/female body standards which were pretty great as well. If you got 80 minutes to spare, check out "Talent Belongs To The Beautiful", "Female Objectification in Media" and "The Beauty Double Standard Between Men & Women". They're a pretty great trilogy of videos about the beauty standard and how it relates to different things.

[@MegaRafaelloco]

“Beautiful women gain their power at 13.” *Chris Hansen appears*

[@johnbuscher]

*FBI bursts through the door*

[@ireallyhatemakingupnamesfo1758]

*matt geatz has joined the chat*

[@MacabreStorytelling]

@Ryan Wilson I understand that is what he means... but that’s... still... odd. Especially coming from a channel dedicated to trying to teach guys how to get better with women no?

[@asdfghjklim5662]

@Ryan Wilson okay but why specify the START of PUBERTY as opposed to the start of adulthood which is when our brains fully develop our frontal cortex into making life long decisions which is 22-24? Why SPECIFICALLY an age of a middle school child who SHOULDN'T take part in the dating world

[@asdfghjklim5662]

@Ryan Wilson "Developing" Why is the EARLY development of a young girl the pinnacle of their powerful beauty? Thats sus

[@angrypotato9914]

"We cannot just condemn them and move on, we must extend empathy and understanding." - Macabre This rings true forever, I don't think I'll ever see this quote lie.

[@TheTrueTriceror]

The doomed quest part hits me. When you said you wished you could just not care, I saw myself as lucky. I have autism, and after just another rejection I managed to just make myself not care. I am still a virgin at 23 with no relationship experience at all, yest I do not care. I managed to cut myself off from those feelings and I am still happy with myself. I wish I could make other men feel like me, just accepting yourself and not caring if you have sex or not.

[@fod1235]

It's good to want sex though, of course not being obsessed by it but having a libido is a sign of good health

[@shanefoster2132]

Just to add on, I think a more correct term for your attitude would be ambivalence. You still care and thus pursue relationships in some capacity but are not devastated by rejections or even the possibility that it may not happen. You are ambivalent. At least that's the feeling I have and you seem to have a similar attitude.

[@TheTrueTriceror]

@@shanefoster2132 Oh, I seem to not be clear. I do not pursue a relationship at this point. If one happens to come my way, great. But I am not actively looking, as I do not really care.

[@shanefoster2132]

@@TheTrueTriceror true, nice clarification. I still think ambivalence is appropriate considering you're not outright rejecting a relationship or whatever... I feel that my dude, if it happens it happens. And if it doesn't it doesn't. Meanwhile you're content and not looking to see if anything sticks. I think I'm picking up what you're putting down.

[@TheTrueTriceror]

@@shanefoster2132 yeah, that's it. Although I would call it indifference instead of ambivalence. I know they are basically synonyms, but I like arguing semantics.

[@johnrooney1455]

Fun fact: pickup artistry started in Ancient Rome in about 1BCE Ovid wrote a book called the Ars amatoria(Latin for the art of love) which was basically about how to pickup girls at Roman events like races or games.

[@noble20xx56]

Yooo that's actually interesting. Heh all roads lead to Rome.

[@TheAlchemist1089]

@Exiest_Osas Saso yeah no. No society is perfect

[@ropeboyo-fullstreamsandass2569]

Ave, true to Caesar

[@duarte2]

@Exiest_Osas Saso "As an Italian" Yes, my Italian friend, tell me how your bloodline is telling you through the ages about courtship customs 2000 years ago lmao

[@junichiroyamashita]

@@duarte2 well,i have nothing in particular against PUA specifically,but the Ars Amatoria is much more than that from what i know,and not because we italians have genetic memory from 2000 years ago,but because we often read parts when studying latin.

[@elcawyo9629]

I don't even know why I clicked this, I have zero interest in dating, yet the nuance and quality is too much to ignore, very well done

[@MacabreStorytelling]

❤

[@Flossy350]

Same, I watched the whole thing. And now I can go back to leveling my mage

[@MacabreStorytelling]

@@Flossy350 but now with confidence 😎

[@TheLily97232]

Exactly lol

[@briansmith8898]

Bravo, sir. It is easy to show empathy for the helpless victim, but it is HARD to show empathy for the toxic and damaged. You somehow managed to pull it off.

[@MacabreStorytelling]

❤️

[@prismoid00]

Let's not forget the crown jewel of dating advice for men from cynical feminist spaces: Just be a good person. Surely this won't feed into any insecurities at all and make people think their autism and lack of social development is some morally reprehensible quality

[@greyfox4838]

I wouldn't say it comes from cynical feminist spaces, instead it's actually pretty ubiquitous. Many women casually give advice like "I don't care about looks, just have a good personality." Which while this cliche is often times depicted as a positive hurrah for men, in truth it just makes men hate themselves even more if they get rejected ("am I a bad person? is my personality shit? am I boring or unlovable?") when in reality the reason was probably you just weren't her type and that's ok. Even superficial women like that Jubilee girl will never admit "I go for good looking guys," they will always claim to be horny for personality, but as you saw in that Jubilee video, those dudes had great personalities and they all got rejected for arbitrary reasons.

[@prismoid00]

@@greyfox4838 you're right it is pretty ubiquitous but it does sting when it comes from other feminists and leftists because of the bootstraps nature of it

[@supervamp78]

Being autistic does not mean you don't understand how not to be weird??

[@prismoid00]

@@supervamp78 you have to be on a whole other level of delusion if you think autism has no bearing on whether or not people perceive you as weird

[@youcantbeatk7006]

@@greyfox4838 Insecurities are often justified. If you're religious, you'll naturally disagree with me and conform to your religion's moral system, but to me personally as an atheist, I believe populism is extremely important and an objective merit. If the majority of people believe you have a bad personality, you honestly have a bad personality. If most people don't like you or wouldn't like you if they get to know you, then you're basically doomed. You'll hurt yourself socially, financially, and pretty much any way possible. Sometimes conformity is justified and self loathing is honesty. It's not a matter of "Should I conform," but "Is it genuinely possible for me to conform?" If it's not, well then oh well I guess. You're over as a person.

[@Azulagirlboss]

I am a teen girl watching this video from start to finish. It helps me empathise with the men in my life better. It is the first time I heard someone make the case of the society ridiculing men for seeking validation by refusing to extend it to them 😿

[@debanikgoswami4834]

Only thing that works for me is to approach a girl and take the risk of getting rejected.

[@RoskoTwang]

Me: I'd sure love a light-hearted video right now, to kill time between calls at work. KZbin: hey, how about this feature-length treatise on a very tough subject that makes you re-examine your life? Me: ...y-yeah, sure, o-okay...

[@MacabreStorytelling]

Based

[@oilikaekoile]

Women have had literal generations, 6 decades, of publicly asking the questions “what does it mean to be a girl?”, “what does it mean to be a woman?”, “what does it mean to be feminine?”; asking these questions to themselves, each other, and society at large. Now men, trying to catch up by asking the same things (“what does it mean to be a man?”, “what does it mean to be a boy?”, “what does it mean to be masculine?”) and we get mocked for it, for daring to ask such stupid questions. This is a great video. Thank you. This subject makes me really angry, but only because there is so much that needs fixing.

[@MacabreStorytelling]

❤

[@amirekinartail8623]

I couldn't agree more and I think that it is especially important for us men to determine how gay and trans men fit in to masculinity.

[@Alias_Anybody]

I personally have a different issue. It's not like I can't talk to or have a connection with women, I'm just unable to be seen as a romantic option. It's not "being friendzoned" (which implies active rejection), it's the simple fact that I seem to be incapable of communicating any interest beyond friendship in an elegant, neither cringy nor creepy way, causing me not to try in the first place. There's also the issue that giving good advice is very hard because random people simply don't know my personality or culture to a degree they can make a productive analysis.

[@coffeeking9565]

Your correct that advice is hard to give over the internet. Personally, I found asking people in rl this question shines some light on the issue. Me personally am a gay dude and find it hard to really communicate with guys, so I asked my girl and guy friends for some input on how I act. It helped a bit :)

[@natalieharmon4207]

I don't know why you'd have difficulty....I mean, as a woman, if I am with a guy, and *I* want something more than just a friend, *I* can make it known (no, I am not talking those BS "hints..I mean straight up having a conversation about it), and it is then up to him to either agree to that, or say nah..I'm good just being friends.... COMMUNICATION....clear communication...people don't *talk* about in depth things, sadly... :-(

[@Theo-vn9hm]

@@natalieharmon4207 If I read it correctly though, the issue of Alias, as is mine, is that he acts and talks in such a way that makes it so women never even think of him as a romantic or sexual person.

[@Euphoryaaa]

Self sabotage on a subconscious level

[@kupeart3746]

I have the same problem, so I solved it by being overly clear and not "making the hints", its freaking exhausting and scary, and mostly leads to awkward moments - but even when I get rejected women appreciate the courage to just straight on ask. who knows, maybe there are some women attracted to you who are also afraid to ask you out. but its hard man, I still struggle with that too and I wish I was completely capable of having a sex life but I don't - its still like finding an oasis in the desert for me.

[@FNTM2k3]

If someone tells me “just be yourself”, and I say “well, who am I?”, or “I don’t know who I am”, they respond like I’m supposed to know everything I’m gonna do in my life at 17, when I don’t even know what I’ll do tomorrow.

[@maced640]

You talked about things a lot of people don't talk about. Like the fear of looking like a creep or embarrassing yourself. This was my biggest fear whenever I wanted to talk to a woman I'm interested in. Also because I felt like I had to perform.

[@princesseville6889]

Its so unfortunate how the intense and nervous fear of acting like a creep actually makes people act like a creep in the end...

[@safir2241]

i used to actively turn away and take the long route home if i encountered a girl so i wouldnt make her uncomfortable

[@veldrensavoth7119]

And also compete with all the other guys

[@yo-man928]

@@safir2241 goddamn same 😔

[@remembertotakeshowerspleas355]

@Thomas Goddamn dude.

[@tjbarke6086]

Literally more comfortable ordering pizza in person than over the phone. Don't know why...

[@MacabreStorytelling]

👍

[@PkMnNeWb]

So there are other people like me out there?? I always walk to my local pizza place. The bigger problem is that I always walk over to the hairdresser and have to hope that they have time for me in the immediate future.

[@Redskull1411]

I thing is that little pause between the ringing and the talk, it's kinda disorienting when you need to talk in a random cue....

[@littlewyzard]

fr talking on the phone gives me so much anxiety for some reason? i’m working on it though :/

[@milton7763]

Really? I’ve never heard about this. I’d figure the anonymity of ordering over the phone offers a much ‘safer’ barrier. Any of you can tell me what it is you find makes the phone call so hard?

[@Icekin23]

"It seems that many men are starved of validation for, in some cases, their entire upbringing. So when they step out into the world, they do so with a hole in their sense of self, leaving them incapable of reaching that equilibrium. Like driving with a leaking gas tank on an endless road. And no matter how much validation they acquire, it'll never be enough." This resonates a lot harder than I would like it to.

[@karlfranzemperorofmandefil5547]

Imagine getting validation... Non jokes asides. The biggest problem is self worth, if you don't get validation in those crucial times of your life you end up feeling worthless and unworthy of love and attention for the rest of your life. During my upbringing i never received any kind of acknowledgement and validation from my father whom I looked up to. Nothing i did was good enough and my basic natural behaviors were always treated like titanic character flaws. My hobbies were stupid and i never got any support with my personal goals because i didn't live the life he wanted to live for him. That ended with crippling self doubt and basically no value on my own time and we'll being. I always feel like I'm wasting people's time when they spend time with me (even if i know rationally that's what they want to do ) and i can't approach people i meet outside of dating apps regarding any romantic intentions because i don't want to ruin their day and waste their time ( this includes when being told by their friend that they want me to do that, because i can't get over the thought that they are just saying that to mess with their friend or me)

[@tylermacdonald8924]

This video really needs to go viral, christ

[@MacabreStorytelling]

130k ain't too shabby 😎 preciate it my man

[@siahsargus2013]

I’mma watch it twice, bump up the number

[@MacabreStorytelling]

@@siahsargus2013 💓

[@agatazietek9098]

The dishonesty part is so true. Despite being a woman in her 20s who's considered to be attractive, I struggled for a long time with dating largely due to this - I also struggle in social situations in general. I met my current boyfriend by accident and he was the first person who was honest with me about things I do that are off-putting to others - we just had such a good chemistry he was able to see past them, but people I tried to date or even befriend before him most likely were not. Great video.

[@MacabreStorytelling]

People are so desperate to be in a relationship at times they avoid doing anything to rock the boat... which only will result in it all coming back ten fold down the line

[@JohnnyDee.]

I felt like I was a screwup among all my friends for being the one with stunted growth in this area. I'm turning 23 in a few months and I haven't even kissed a girl, let alone have sex. It makes me feel like I'm defective as a human and that I lack any evidence that I am capable/worthy of being liked/loved in a romantic/social context by a woman. I just feel like it is depressing that any chance of affection/approval/positive perception from a woman will take years of hard work, patience, and struggle while I witness time passing me by and many other men finding romantic success. I don't WANT to let women determine or value my self-worth since that makes me feel bad. I just wish to have a connection.

[@podlodialgilap3490]

I'm on the same boat as you my friend, 24 and never had a girlfriend. But i started to improve myself - learning new skills that interest me and would help me start a career (programming, photoshop), working out , and just appreciate every small moments in life (gathering with family, friends, playing WoW and chatting with some old buddies late at night, etc..). And i am content with all of that, i even feel like having a girlfriend right now would be like a burden instead of something that would make me happy. Remember - if you don't have a luck with the ladies, this doesn't make you not worthy of affection or nullify your value as a human. Romantic relationships are just minor quests in the main storyline of your life.

[@thehobojoe]

Hey man, just want to tell you that it will get better. I was 23 before I had any romantic or sexual interactions. I dealt with very serious self-loathing and depression, and worried that I would never live up to the standards required. It's scary, and it's hard, and it's lonely, but I promise it will get better. I don't have an easy answer (just like this 2 hour video didn't), but keep going, maintain your friendships (isolation will make it 100x worse), and don't let failures put you in a bad mental state. You got this.

[@danielev4392]

I will turn 26 in a few days and have yet to have my first boyfriend. I had an experience that was quite bad and haven’t really been able to socialize correctly with men. Which is even more stupid because I grew up in a great family model, but that’s how it is. I am scared to even try but as I advance in my career and life I feel the time is now. Now, seeing all these redpillers saying that I will be wasted material as soon as I turn 26 is demoralizing af, but as soon as I step outside I see all kinds of people and couples that have made it, so there’s no reason we won’t be able to. I don’t intend to make this about women with my comment, just wanted to share because I too feel like a failure compared to my friends...

[@crackededge9351]

@@danielev4392 Despite their vitriol, red pillars are right about one thing: hookup culture is a cancer that kills genuine relationships. If there’s anything both men and women should avoid, it’s meaningless risky std entangled alcohol fueled one night stands. A real relationship is always better than nonsense. I hope you do your best, good luck.

[@crackededge9351]

@@danielev4392 Remember: the best of men will expect and want the best of you and for you, and the lesser the man the lower his standards for a good relationship.

[@jacksonlarson6099]

How on Earth have I missed this video for a whole year? This is positively brilliant, and I wish it had ten times as many views. I've been waiting for a genuine, heartfelt, balanced examination of this issue for years.

[@eduardotejerasosa8476]

Wow i gotta say that I'm 23 years old and this video made realize a whole bunch i wish i knew back in high school. Recently i've just been feeling like my whole life is a worthless failure ,but your video helped me a lot. I'm actually tearing up a little as i write this.

[@MacabreStorytelling]

Glad to hear my man 👍

[@bisurker]

This guy gets it. Most dudes who get into pickup just kind of do it because they didn't nail the experience of cold approaching, leading a girl, setting goals, and getting out of their own way before with women. Society tends to just look down at their nose for men that kind of need this advice, and it's kind of what helps make dating so shitty for men.

[@Dnzjsjdk]

I literally can even remotely imagine getting abuse by your female teacher and growing up in an abusive relationship with her. I think that’s why we have this problem, because many can’t imagine therefore can’t empathize with his situation, and being utterly vulnerable that way, while with male abuse on woman seems more cut and dry and we usually Approach it how it is.

[@MacabreStorytelling]

In some cases, I can see people wanting to purposefully rationalize it because the reality is so horrifying.

[@Alex-ki1yr]

@@MacabreStorytelling yes, this exactly. I think a lot of the blaming the victim comes from that place, too: because "if I just do ____ and ____, I will be safe from what happened to them". It's so sad, for all involved...

[@dumbartonyankee]

As a mother to teenage sons, I really appreciate this.

[@DanteLikesRock]

Be my mom.

[@gabrielle.j]

I’m engaged to be happily married to the most amazing person I’ve ever met, and I have to say this is such well-put and balanced advice for men and women both to take. I hope more and more people hear this and cultivate amazing relationships and lives for themselves because of it ❤️

[@MacabreStorytelling]

❤️

[@MacabreStorytelling]

@David Hernandez dam rite david

[@MacabreStorytelling]

@David Hernandez yeah unfortunately that only comes simply by interacting with women but some of these guys are so down bad that is a horrifying concept.

[@dain8750]

1:27:08 "i would desperately just want to cry, but my body would prevent me from doing so" one the most relatable quote I've heard

[@MacabreStorytelling]

❤️

[@rhythmandblues_alibi]

The dating app hookup culture is just as frustrating and damaging for women. Seeing how it negatively impacts all genders is really helpful in cultivating empathy rather than demonising any one user base. Thank you for your insights, loved the masculine beauty standards video and it's awesome to see you exploring more issues in the same vein 💜

[@MacabreStorytelling]

❤️

[@britneybij3997]

As a lady who had Tinder for 3 months with no matches and thought the app was broken, I can assure you that it really hurt my feelings when I found out the app was just fine 😬😢😳 Deleted it right after I found that out, I did not want to set a world record like that

[@TheEnigmaticBM39]

@@britneybij3997 lol better none than a bunch of bots

[@plaflish]

Yes!!

[@vaudevillain_2]

I've watched this about three times now. Partially because it does strike a chord with me, but mainly because the way you handled this discussion is so well done and expertly presented that every time I'm reminded of this video, I feel obligated to take two hours out of my day to watch it one more time.

[@MacabreStorytelling]

❤️

[@crazyfishrmn27]

"You're the boss, aren't you?" Top fucking tier scripting and pacing there. Well done.

[@MacabreStorytelling]

❤

[@GrrantThePlant]

This is going to seem over dramatic but I know you youtuber types eat this shit up. This piece of art displayed a level of empathy and understanding that I know will reach people on a intimate level. This video took me though a range of emotions and introspection that I hope to carry for the rest of my life. Thank you. You made something great here.

[@MacabreStorytelling]

❤❤❤ dam right i eat it up

[@milenayashkina8641]

This is the most empathetic and articulate take on modern men's issues. You literally covered all the bases, bravo! Leaving a comment for the KZbin algorithm!

[@AoiLucine]

As an Autistic lady, this stuff is actually pretty useful for me too. Like, the needing to know what the limits are in conversation, what's okay or not in social situations... I had to learn this analytically instead of grasping it intuitively. I've also read pretty harrowing stuff about how men are emotionally isolated due to how society has framed masculinity, and how women have had to create emotional armor to ward off creeps who don't 'take the hint' or could possibly hurt them, as noted by trans individuals who were raised as girls and put on that armor themselves, and know why it's there. I guess in the end we're all trying to figure this shit out. Please be kind to yourselves, everyone.

[@CenterSargE]

Once again I am reminded of that tumblr post. It's fucking golden.

[@imnotusingmyrealname4566]

@@CenterSargE Which Tumblr post?

[@imnotusingmyrealname4566]

Thank you for this comment. It made me understand autism and how it makes me different from other people more. This analytical nature is so tormenting to me. When I realized more about it during diagnosis it caused so much mental anguish in me. The thought of most people having different brain structures that work completely differently is frightening and impossible to know what it's like. Is this video by any chance also one of the hardest acts of emotional and cognitive labor to you or is it just me? I'm probably THE demographic this video is about so this is a lot to unpack and process, too much in fact for the scope of a KZbin video and more for psychotherapy.

[@CenterSargE]

@@imnotusingmyrealname4566 Trans man understanding the points of view of both men and women.

[@limitbreakplusultra7551]

This comment is just to help the algorithm know: This is a superb, well thought out, wonderfully articulated, mature look at men's struggles without blaming women for everything. Thank you!

[@MacabreStorytelling]

❤️

[@nuclearpancake3683]

superb!

[@ezstein4914]

i'm an hour and a half in, tearing up. Can't even count how many times i've just wished i could completely delete my sex drive and never think about it again, didn't even know anyone else felt that way. i fuck w you Mac

[@MacabreStorytelling]

✊

[@RC-hv1yx]

Sex drive often feels like a curse, like an itch that can never be scratched. You’re not alone.

[@thewildcardperson]

Channel that energy look up kudanlini energy

[@jazaniac]

while I get why they would feel marginalized, asexual people are truly blessed.

[@MaxPayneInTheAss]

Same.

[@paleontologi052]

This video really resonates with me. From feeling worthless and dead every day,. To my self confidence issues about my body. To my alcoholism at 19 and my former addiction too cigarettes. To my struggle with the rape and abuse by my stepsister either not being believed or called irrelevant. Sometimes I feel like the older brother of my friends because I'm not even 20 yet and have had too waid through an endless river of shit and broken glass. I don't know if my issues will get better in the future but I know that this video kinda helped me get a grasp of myself

[@MacabreStorytelling]

❤️

[@bla-bla-bla8881]

Damn Im sorry man.. I can’t even imagine how you feel because they made a whole porn category about it..

[@paleontologi052]

@@bla-bla-bla8881 I'll be honest, I don't mind the porn, its cheezy but whatever porn isn't real and it's fine too do whatever with it. What buggs me is that she affected my taste is women and I hate myself that I like anything that resembles her

[@elliottalderson1059]

This was a perfect video on this type of topic, I grew up pretty undesirable to women & throughout high school I was seen as this boring, fat, & short ugly kid without many clothes, after high school i started playing persona 5 & I started implementing the games sense of routine, I had a decent job, I had money to go on a diet, I bought some clothes that made me look more presentable, I lost more than 100 pounds a little over a year and I became insanely handsome to women… it was such a strange feeling because I stopped desiring women as much because I never got the validation I wanted anyways. But to be told all of a sudden all these good qualities like I’m charming, funny, smart, and most shocking is “handsome”, sent me into a pit of self isolation and weirdness around dating because the validation I used to want became so hollow, then trying to do casual sex just didn’t work for me at all lolol, luckily I have a wonderful girlfriend now whose known me since for 6 years before while I was “undesirable” & she always liked me, I was just too shy to do anything about it. But good luck to you and all the other guys here struggling with dating/validation. You guys deserve the best ❤️