Figuring Out Sexuality After Sexual Trauma (with Kathryn Gallagher)

[@moonlightauras1]

This podcast is always so healing. I never miss an episode and I'm so grateful this space exists.

[@MadeItOutPodcast]

thank you so much for being part of it ❤️

[@lauravrc1]

It would be interesting to learn how much of the sexual trauma queer women experience is also tied to the repression of their sexuality. When the mind knows you’re a lesbian but it’s buried so deep, then sex with men can be traumatic and you wouldn’t understand why. Coming out later in life is complicated in so many ways but being out is so liberating and healing. This was a wonderful podcast. Thank you. 🫶🏳️‍🌈

[@aliceadam6896]

Mal you should bring your grilfriend to the podcast too! It would be great to learn her experiences too.❤

[@Majorie614]

Absolutely!! I would love to know more about Mathilde and her story from Portugal all the way to L.A. ❤

[@LaLaLaLaLa8237]

Yes I agree.. interview Mathilde!

[@Breanna_Unmasked]

As a survivor of multiple sexual assaults who also just came out a few weeks ago at age 30, this has validated so many of the thoughts and experiences I've had throughout my 20's. Thank you for being so vulnerable with us. It really does take so much courage and y'all are resonating super deep in the hearts of many many ppl. What she was saying about physically releasing the trauma and the body keeping score. I don't think I've been able to do that yet, but I'm going to prioritize learning how to get it out of me. My body often feels tense in random situations and I often wish I could loosen up and have "more fun" or whatever, but it's like I have a physical block preventing me from doing so. I don't think I'm actively thinking about my trauma in these situations, but my body and mind are constantly at war.

[@virgilmcclendon5072]

Your pod is so soul-searching and helpful that it should be legally mandatory for everyone. Thank you.

[@Bestbeachesincalifornia]

This ep couldn’t have come to me at a better time. I was feeling so alone in and unsure about my experiences of a similar character to yours earlier today. Listening to this helped me release some difficult emotions and find more peace and acceptance. Thank you for the amazing work you do on this podcast and more than anything thank you for being YOU. xx

[@OliveWindenburg-qd3bt]

Renee rap would be so great on the podcast

[@sm-xz7fg]

As an SA survivor who later realised they are a lesbian, this episode means so incredibly much to me. Thank you Mal 🫶🏻

[@MadeItOutPodcast]

thank you so much for saying that. i’m so happy it’s reaching the right people. i appreciate you listening and sharing 🫶🏼

[@stephp218]

Can’t express how much it means to hear you girlies open up about such a relatable subject. Ty for being brave because now I don’t feel as alone.

[@fastandpraywithleonie]

so beautiful. more of this please.. such a common experience unfortunately. i pray one day all women will be safe, seen, protected and respected.

[@mihaelamars]

I love this conversation. I've dated a lot of men, and I've only ever been in love with women. I have no doubt about my sexuality.

[@lucchicoine2037]

I was sexually abused too, in my childhood, and I fear men too. Thank you for talking about all these things openly!

[@liamclarke64]

In the most respectful way possible, I just fell in love with Kathryn. I love all your guests, but this was the best episode so far. She broke my heart when she said she has never had a good relationship and at the same time made me appreciate my wife even more!!

[@MadeItOutPodcast]

she’s has such a special way of making you feel at ease and comforted. we love her too!!!!

[@palaksinghal]

I usually don't comment on youtube videos but this one was so beautiful and it's something so close to my heart.

[@annemieke406]

I relate to Kathryn’s story so much. The one about the SA and the one about dating men for validation. This was brutally honest, raw, open and healing, and we need more of this vulnerability and strength in the digital (and analogue) world. Thanks❤

[@Chickenbx]

Thank you for this. Being a survivor of sexual trauma is such an isolating experience. Not to mention, not realizing I was gay until age 25 was also such an isolating experience. Hearing your stories leaves me feeling much less alone.

[@mariegarza2369]

Thank you for this episode. Both my wife and I are SA survivors and intimacy rare, but we understand each other. Makes a lot of sense why we don't do PDA in public or around our loved ones as much. It has taken almost 16.5 years of us being together and many talks about our past to help us heal. We have moved on from our difficult childhood and the misguided relationships we each previously had. Luckily we both found each other at the right time in our lives, and we hope to grow old together.

[@rachelgoldsmith6468]

Such a beautiful episode. Thank you both for coming in super vulnerable. * happy tears * 🥲

[@aakelly03]

Great conversation ladies! One in three women have experienced some form of sexual assault. It is a topic that is really healing to talk about :).

[@patijaniques]

this podcast is like an extension of therapy. so many memories going back on my mind that I’ve supressed for so long. What an important job you’re doing for the queer community, Mal. Thank you so much. I wish we had a similar platform in Brazil to reach so many others in here

[@theauntless]

There's plenty of people with sexual trauma that are not gay. There's plenty of gay people with no sexual trauma.

[@laurynpawl6839]

One of the hest episodes you have done for Made It Out. You both were so vulnerable. So many things to think about.❤

[@MadeItOutPodcast]

it’s one of my favorites too🥹 thank you for listening!

[@maddy8736]

thank you so much for this episode. I am at a loss for words. I took notes throughout to remind myself of these powerful messages. And, I agree, that we are brought to the right conversations at the right time. thank you so much for sharing this conversation.

[@MadeItOutPodcast]

🫶🏼i’m so happy that the conversation found its way to you!

[@pycho_duck]

I legit teared up on this one. I've been a silent viewer for the past couple of months or so, but i have to leave a comment for this episode. I've been working up the courage to bring up my own story to my therapist. Haven't done it yet. This just gave me more courage to keep trying to find healing in all this confusion. Thank you both for sharing your stories.

[@randybutterfield4336]

I’m an older straight man and my sister went through some terrible and this episode made me cry. Thank you!

[@theonlyone1313]

this is the ONLY POD that exclusively uplifts queer women. and i LOVE IT

[@dew_africa]

I needed this convo so much today. I cried this morning so much...allowing myself to remember a painful incident. And now I'm watching this...I'm at the crying bit...and I'm totally crying and so grateful. Thank you both. ❤❤

[@GentleamoreBlogspot]

One of the best episodes hands down

[@JenniferBonacina]

I will never stop saying this: I love Made It Out so much ❤️ This podcast is perfect: it touches so many important topics and every time with the right level of sensitiveness. It helps me considering topics I’ve never dealt with and pushes me to have a thought and see things with different perspectives. And btw Mal does an amazing job. It’s beautiful to see how she can perfectly speak with different personalities and adapt accordingly, always with a great empathy and a gentle smile on her face. LOVE IT! ❤ THANK YOU!

[@doroty1299]

What a great episode! It was so therapeutic to listen to. Very grateful I came across this today, thanks Mal

[@madelynsimmons567]

This was such a heavy topic but needs to be discussed more often. Thank you for shedding light on these experiences. It made me feel really seen. Mal, your laugh was a breath of fresh air through this conversation.

[@miznikki2u]

This convo was very eye opening for me and made me feel SO seen. A beautiful, mature discussion between you both. Thank you, thank you, thank you💕❤

[@mialindvall]

This podcast is such a gift. Means a lot 🙏 Thank you ❤️

[@ambersjourneysinlife]

I was crying with you too also, im healing from similar experiences, this was so raw and real, love you guys so much!

[@alyf.6698]

This episode i have to thank you for it!!! I am a survivor and totally blacked out from an assault in college and i still 12+ years later fear men but am attracted to them and like Kathryn said if it never happened...i can totally relate! thank you for this conversation it was healing to hear.

[@someonesomehow379]

oh my god u guyys! mal this was a tough but beautiful and fulfilling episode.. I'm so sorry for what you've went through thank u and kathryn for being so vaulnrable and open with us.. sending u hugs and good vibes 🫂

[@charlycharly2565]

I have NEVER in my life felt so understood

[@learn_hindi]

This was so deep Mal and Kathryn! Thank you for sharing such vulnerable sides of you and touching deep topics.

[@anielamariscal3233]

That was really restorative, I appreciate that you shared this conversation, it was so emotional and vulnerable without the need to feel weak, send you love! I hope it arrives from another country :)

[@slackjennifer39]

Thank you for doing this every week. Just .. thank you. I needed this.

[@i.c.1115]

I admire you ladies. You are so open minded questioning and exploring everything without precoceptions and so brave to cry talking about your traumas and few seconds after laughing on this. I apologize for the pain we men have been inflicting to all women.

[@Con_blue]

I have questioned in the past if my sexuality is because of bad experiences with men, but guys EVERY WOMAN EVER has had bad experiences and even harassment from men. And most of them are still straight! The worst abuse someone could experience, still could not change their sexuality, and i've heard that from a sex therapist! It doesn't have to do with being a lesbian becuase every woman regardless if they are a lesbian or not, has had horrible experiences with men. I mean, the worst that could happen is that mayyybe someone could be bi and not explore it enough, BUT STILL their attraction and love they feel towards women is undeniable.

[@4immerda]

Ooh, thank you for this comment! This was actually really helpful and reassuring :)

[@MelHyde]

This comment 🙌

[@Con_blue]

Don't worry about it, you just like women and should focus on that! There are little girls being abused by men and still end up straight or gay, there are boys being abused by men and end up straight or gay, it doesn't define them. Our sexualities form when we are in the womb.

[@Reed5016]

I think I’m lucky that I’ve never been SA’d by a man (I was SA’d by my female friend, though). That being said, I have a sexist older brother, and a right-wing Qanon dad. And so many people have told me I’m into women because I have “daddy issues.” That being said, I knew I was into girls since I was 13, and my dad only became a hardcore conspiracy theorist when I was 15. Though a part of me wonders if I’m bi, and I don’t want to date men because I don’t want to be perceived as a woman (I’m a trans man who doesn’t pass). Being with a woman makes me feel more masculine, for some reason. Maybe because I feel free to explore that side of myself, without fear of being judged.

[@Con_blue]

Yes it's annoying when people say that. Every girl i know has daddy issues! So should i say to straight women "you want men because you have daddy issues"? 😂 No. It only works for them when they say it about lesbians! Because they don't think it's normal and they have to find an explenation for it. And even if a lesbian has a good relationship with her dad, then she just hasn't found the right man yet or she identifies with her dad and is a tomboy and that's bad! You can never win with those people!

[@alyssagoodrich5817]

Mal, I listen weekly, and this was such a great episode. Had me in tears, while trying to do my makeup getting ready for work. 😅❤

[@KatNardizzi]

This is a beauuuutiful convo. Thank you both for being so open and vulnerable. Both of your experiences are so relatable. Much love to you both! 🩷

[@KayBassie]

32:04 I second that about what Mal does with this podcast. Got me crying over here.🥹 38:26 I love Kathryn's advice here. We have limited time on this planet. Even more so for people that go unexpectedly. So, sit in and experience the positives when they do occur. And ride the waves of the negatives. Cause it doesnt last. 40:00 Life is spinning plates. So true. Mal took the words out my mouth. So experience it all.

[@timtam39tw]

Very powerful and healing episode ladies. Blessings 💫 🙌🏿 💫

[@srirachaluver]

needed this so bad. loved this conversation

[@StannyHel]

This podcast is SO important, I’m crying with you Mal❤️

[@lucyarthur7906]

beautiful! it goes to show - it all starts with conversation and being vulnerable!! I feel this entangles into the spectrum on topics of patriarchy, societal conditioning and the whole topic of sex with guilt and shame, what sex is and how we look at what it is, what it has been made of to be and it really isn't! I can't help but feel this also relates to organized religion and how it comes with shame and guilt and not enough communication! So much love to you for speaking out, speaking up and being so open and vulnerable - it has a ripple effect!! T H A N K Y O U Beautiful soul ♥🙏

[@ri3706]

What’s interesting is the number of guests that say they knew about/were exposed to gay men but not gay women.

[@helenlawson8426]

Ok that happened, this episode was tough. Watching Mal cry was horrible. Knowing that Kathryn & Mal are already such lovely people and moving on will only become better versions of themselves makes this bearable. Their humour also helps of course. x. "Trusting things can be good" was something I needed to hear.

[@stephk1970]

Thanks so much for this. It happened to me 8 years ago over the course of a decade. I have just started having memories come back and I'm terrified. This video brought me to tears, I related to it so much. Thank you. ❤️

[@junevertucci3420]

This podcast just continues to rise up to new levels. This episode was fantastic; hit all the right notes for me personally as I'm a lesbian musical theatre Geek with sexual trauma. The discussion was honest, articulate, touching and hopeful.

[@ROCKONplaceboforever]

Im catching up on the episode been depressed the last few weeks thank u for this ❤ i am a mess rn seeing mal cry so proud of you and how far you have come

[@Doors-and-Crosscheck]

Wow. Thank you for being so raw and vulnerable

[@SamanthaCirillo-ct6yw]

Thank you so much for this podcast and being so vulnerable. 4 years ago I uncovered a trauma from when I was 5 years old. My grandfather molested me multiple times. I was with guys for majority of my life but I would always feel like I was playing a Role and I would completely disassociate when I would have sex. That unresolved mystery manifested abusive relationships in my life where I can clearly see now that I was raped after saying no. I did everything I could to protect myself I even became a body builder to prove “I can protect myself” .It wasn’t until I came out officially… and noticed my connection with women wasn’t one of fear and I was able to embrace love. I was able to feel chemistry and I wasn’t a robot in my body…Still till this day I question am if Im not with men because of my trauma… and still till this day I hold myself up very strong around men. But my strength is a vulnerable shield rather than one of empowerment. Which still tells me I view myself as a victim, prey to men. One thing about the healing journey is it maybe painful to revisit BUT I now can give myself compassion rather than anxiety wondering what is wrong with me. I gained a deeper understanding of my previous actions, my walls and now I know how to work on trust. I want more for myself. However, your journey unravels know that you have a huge support system surrounding you, including myself.❤ Your podcast, has truly brought me a lot of comfort and a lot of understanding. You’re spreading so much love to the people that need it the most you’re showing this community that they’re not alone and you deserve to receive the same. Thank you. ❤

[@harmanlesli]

Good insight. People don't teach boys this stuff. It does a huge disservice to both men and women. Its a weird line between fun and spontaneous and it starts too quickly to fully process and consent.

[@Biglex222]

Great episode…appreciate the vulnerability from you both!

[@aaronriseman1397]

Fabulous chat. thank you both for this one.

[@majoduarte8722]

These posts are so great! It is a kind of therapy. In each interview there are deep emotions revealed and learning and lots of laughter. Thank you very much, you are a caress to the heart. Keep going with what you do, it's very valuable!

[@gysellemarie]

listening to you two talk has healed a part of me. thank you

[@someonesomehow379]

ikr sending u hugs

[@ashleyvidal216]

I cried along with both of you during this episode. The importance and the REAL need for this incalculable. Thank you for sharing these tender parts of you. It will and has helped so many people and I am definitely one of them and I look forward to sharing with those who have this lived experience and those who don't who want to understand ❤ this was already my fave queer podcast but this cements that! thank you, thank you, thank you 🙏

[@annie-clauderaby1297]

Thank you for sharing your stories - this is so validating & helping me with my own healing journey. Sending you love and gratitude

[@MadeItOutPodcast]

I'm so happy it was helpful. thank you for watching!

[@MFB-x7g]

Thank you so much for this conversatin. A lot of us needed.

[@sambradley3179]

Welp I’m a puddle of tears now! Thanks for the release that I didn’t even know I needed ❤️

[@lilydoesart937]

Thank you so much for this. I identify with almost all of this discussion! I am 57 and hearing your words made me say YES! ME TOO! out loud so many times. I laughed and cried along with you😭😂THANK YOU🫂🩵

[@lighthouse1136]

Thank you for sharing your vulnerabilities, both of you. Such an important conversation. Thank you 🙏

[@MargaretAlbright-b7c]

By far, my favorite episode of your podcast. Thank you. ❤️🌹

[@NikeCortez14]

Whewww Mal you always tug on the heartstrings 😢😭 Thank you and Kathryn for all the gems in this one❤❤

[@jo_spot]

These stories are super relatable

[@theawarenesscoach7244]

Thank you so much for your honesty. I identify so much with where you both are. Good luck with your journey, especially Mal with what's ahead. Remember to breath x

[@marilouburnel]

What an emotional episode. Lots of love to both of you. You know sometimes we revisit memories of things we didn't understand when we were younger or when those things happened, and as you mentioned it means that you are in a place in your life where you have the strength and understanding to do so. It's just a "rough patch" to blossom :) even if it seems impossible I am convinced that you will come out of this closer to your true self, no matter how long it takes. But don't listen to me either I'm just a musician LOL you both stay strong okay!!!

[@semevaa]

Thank you for this. For sharing with such honesty, learning so much from you in this podcast. All the best

[@20PoleVaulter07]

WHAT A BEAUTIFUL EPISODE!!! ❤❤❤

[@godkosk78]

❤I am sending you both a lots of love❤This episode was so emotional. I feel sorry for any woman who went through similar experience like you two. My experience happened in very early childhood and it took me many years to make peace with it as I delt with it on my own. So I understand how difficult position you are in and how painful and confusing your emotions are. I am proud of you and I am proud of how brave you are openly talk about it and living your life fully despide of the bad experiences. And I agree, I do not think any of us is gay because of those bad experiences. I love women because of their beauty and inner strength. Yes, I also have a difficult relationship with men, but that has a lot to do with their ego and my bad experience.. but that has nothing to do with my sexual orientation. I am sending you both lots of love again❤ I hope Mal you will find support you need to help you to move on from that experience very fast❤You are an amazing woman and I am very greatful for what you doing for our community ❤You should be proud of yourself ❤

[@Dani.P.F.]

This actually made me think very differently about an experience I had and my relationship with men. Yikes. I have a lot to think about. Thanks for sharing!

[@MadeItOutPodcast]

i'm so sorry to hear that you may share in some portion of this. i hope you find healing in the fact that you're not alone, and take care of yourself as you start to think through it. thank you for listening and sharing your thoughts.

[@Dani.P.F.]

​@@MadeItOutPodcast Thank you! You've created a wonderful space, I hope you know that!

[@katysimcock2299]

Hi Mal, first time commenting on here but have watched every single episode you’ve done and love this. Thank you. I just wanted to say (firstly I’m only 33min into this episode) that this one’s hit me hard. I have been putting off going back to my sex therapist for so many reasons but mainly I haven’t been ready, and after listening and watching this episode I feel like maybe it’s time I go and start unpacking and dealing with my stuff so I just really want to say thank you. I love this podcast and I look forward to it constantly. Love and hugs from Sydney Australia ❤️

[@eimymoncion977]

I look forward to these podcasts every week!!

[@Karleyrosenquist]

YES you guys covered so many bases. Glad to know other women out there feel fuzzy with their dynamic with men especially crossing the line into intimacy.

[@Reunion4ever]

Mal ❤ Thank you for sharing your story. My heart really broke for you…what you survived was sounded absolutely HORRIFIC 😣 those people are criminals. I’m so sorry …It’s important to share your experiences for yourself and to help others. You are so strong, and have so much patience and wisdom…

[@lcdunn4810]

loved this episode so much!! gave me actual chills!!!

[@bieberbieberJ]

Wow. This episode. Thats all I need to say. Good job Mal and Kathryn. Truly inspiring!

[@trishawade550]

As someone who was abused by my grandfather. I'm attracted to both men and women. However, I can't have a sexual relationship with a man, no matter how much I want it. I panic.

[@parmisvazifeh140]

I hope for you to be able to get through this hellish experiance and heal beautifuly! I know I don't even know you but I'm rooting for you and your happiness❤❤❤

[@user-rq4rt3ti8l]

A beautiful episode.

[@MadeItOutPodcast]

🥹🫠

[@4immerda]

Wow. Thank you for this episode 💛

[@mimicolapietro2086]

Absolutely one of my favorite episodes!!! My only complaint is that it ended!!! lol. Well done Mal❤

[@pattietgens8763]

About a year ago I ended a 10+ year long relationship with a woman I married who ended up not knowing how to fight fair or treat me with respect. Of course I’m not at all equating this with SA. I just relate so much with facing things when you are ready. As I heal from that and unpack things I am realizing how much I crave meaningful and authentic connection and to partake in conversations that embrace vulnerability and deep mutual respect. I didn’t realize how starved I was of these things. I’ve watched every single episode and found myself laughing out loud, nodding my head, crying, relating and connecting with you Mal and each of your guests. You can’t imagine what a gift it has been during this super dark chapter in my life. Just to know that there are caring, thoughtful, loving, beautiful and emotionally rich souls out there brings me sooooo much comfort and relief. It feels like you and your guests are walking along side me as I rebuild myself and remember who I am. This episode was so incredibly special. You are such a wonderful host and interviewer Mal. You have a gift for making your guests comfortable to open up, be vulnerable and funny and real. This time we got to witness Kathryn doing this for you and it was a beautiful thing to witness. I love that you are sharing your journey with us. We are so not alone in this world, and #MadeItOut is a powerful testament to this. Thank you from the bottom of my heart! ❤

[@273Gravity]

So many thoughts I've been circling through my mind for years. Thank you both so much for sharing. ❤

[@BerniceBernieAustin]

This felt courageous, thank you. Love the question “who can I be on the other side of fear?” ❤

[@Lydiahp]

It’s so refreshing to see y’all be genuine and vulnerable about such sensitive topics. Then right into giggling about u-haul/u-ghost 😂

[@Rachel-kr1jh]

I loved Kathryn in Jagged Little Pill - looking forward to this interview

[@Con_blue]

Favourite episode so far ❤

[@tizz.89]

What an episode , thank you both ❤

[@des2507]

Thank you both really. You made cry too. You explained a lot of the things that was going on with me, a lot made sense now ❤🙏🙏🙏

[@marianelealschwertl2276]

Oh wow, this episoded beated me hard. Not a girl trying to find out about my sexuality, all my experieces are with man. But I relate so so much with everything after minute 28. Good I have my therapy session today 😂. I cried at the same point that Mal did. This trauma that we fear to get it touch and then the rapunzel analogy 💔💔💔 I just wanna hug myself

[@westofthepurplemoon]

Thank you so much for this episode, love ❤

[@haydeecastillo4621]

Thank you for the brave and raw emotional convo. 🙏

[@windycitydinnerfairy]

So many tears. Thank you for this

[@batabairerobbie844]

Thanks Mal for this one! I really felt a healing from the past. Women we're very strong creatures in this fuckin world💕✨️

[@karenlarsen8176]

If I was 50 years younger I would be searching Craig’s list for Kathryn. Great job Mal.

[@debrosado545]

That was so inspiring! ❤