The Death Of My Fiancee's Ex Is Tearing Our Relationship Apart r/Relationships

[@Ospyro3em]

Wow, Markee reading those lines like he's auditioning for a soap opera 😂

[@jbgra2566]

This is why I like markee and hear him read stories even though sometimes I had heard them before

[@kaylaluu5660]

he was getting intooo it

[@angelaa7388]

Lmao it was amazing

[@LadyMarigoldWithers]

The ‘I hear police sirens’ line made me lol 😂

[@thesewinggeekmiri9029]

and *blowing it out of the park* god DAMN!!

[@helenegrootenboersecondant5474]

Story 2: OP needs to get hold of Franks’ daughter. The fact that he is “even overprotective over his own daughter” is the second red flag the size of a football stadium. Overprotectiveness on its own is not, but given the way he acts with his niece makes it one.

[@Listrynne]

Agreed. He's protecting "his property" not "his daughter".

[@elleswiger9329]

The girl flirts with me is pedo speak for I see everything a girl does as asking to be molested.

[@colleens1107]

Yeah that was my concern. If he can act like that with his niece he may very well be doing it with his daughter. OR he is focused on his niece because he thinks it’s a better alternative to going for his own kid. Either way…fuck this is messed up

[@MrsWheezer]

Yes. I’m wondering how old Frank’s daughter and girlfriend are. Are they now ‘too old’ for his tastes, so he’s going after OP’s daughter now?

[@Jessi8074]

So the ex wants him to have a great life with someone else. Then she drops this bomb on their relationship by telling him she’s dying and only broke up with him bc she was sick? All honorable intentions just disintegrated with that dick move.

[@VidWatcher01]

Well let's see you would act if you were given a terminal illness & see how handle it

[@DragonbornMike-ym2er]

​@@VidWatcher01that doesn't excuse or justify what she did. Dragging someone back into your life after you've kicked them out, just so you can break their heart all over again.

[@helenhmcdominick8278]

​​@@VidWatcher01When she found out she was terminally ill, she decided she wanted him out of her life. She was fine with him not being with her for years. Maybe a lot of regret because no one is there to help her, but she didn't actually do anything to prove she cares. It's only when she was about to die and her ex has a fiance that she thought "He needs to know why I left him"? Like, not before that, when she wasn't on a dying breath and he didn't have a marriage to focus on?? Let's say she really did leave him because of the diagnosis, that was a stupid thing to do but it was because she was shaken and worried for him, how _admirable._ But three years after that, after not showing care through actions, she decides to talk about how she did it all for him? That's still selfish at the very least, because you know she did it to make sure he thinks about her after she dies.

[@helianabanes4875]

Agreed.

[@trillionbones89]

​@@VidWatcher01Not lying to break up is quite easy. You might want to try it.

[@nyxspiritsong5557]

2nd story.... the brother saying that the daughter "came onto him" is the alarming thing. It is totally predatory behavior

[@tgbedini]

Yup, and even if it was faintly true, the proper thing would have been to talk to the parents immediately, and distance yourself, to avoid any further problems. Don't believe him for one second.

[@mikelee990]

Exactly. The brother just outed himself.

[@GrumpyOldFart2]

Not just that; I don’t think Op quite realizes that his brother outed himself. First thing: he says daughter is a liar, as in he never said/did those things. Second: She came onto him first, trying to explain away his actions. These two things are mutually exclusive. Which one is it?

[@aubreymorgan9763]

I have a bigger concern. hes so comfortable acting like this and the whole family turned on the CHILD in victim blaming...has this happened before to another little girl?

[@shadesofjade]

The fact he didn’t glom onto that as his reasoning as that is an incredibly predatory line!!

[@BloodSunBlast]

"they don't have to pay taxes" LMAO 😂 "Is that police sirens?" Yeah it is. Basic groomer talk. Op needs to drop the brother Also op, thank you for listening to your kid. As someone who was R by family members and no one believed me at ages 5-20s I respect you too as a human and loving parent. Thank you

[@mommyofone646]

If you ever need a space to talk about it, there's r/momforaminute. Hugs.

[@EnDB]

The police sirens part took me out😂😂😂😂

[@starlightlilly7203]

Fr “you’re mature for your age” is one of the biggest red flags a groomer can show. I’m so glad the daughter had the courage to tell her dad before something worse happened

[@chriiiiis]

I think that was the ex girlfriend did was unfair to OP and her ex. He had moved on, she made her choice to cut him out and it's not fair that she sprung the truth on him a few weeks before she died. It wasn't fair to him, and it wasn't fair to his new partner. He was told she didnt love him, and now he has to rethink everything because she suddenly decided she wants him to know the truth. I get it though, she was close to death and maybe she regretted the way she ended things, but that doesn't make it fair. It's a shitty situation.

[@diamcole]

The entire situation feels so unfair. My heart hurts for all of them, to be honest.

[@johnbradbury8610]

The ex is a huge AH. She wanted to spare his feelings but she couldn't resist in the end. OP made the right decision. Unfortunately, some dumbasses expect her except her fiance clearly wishes he was with the other Girl who lied her ass off and then decided to go ahead and ruin his future relationship anyway.If the ex somehow survived. ops fiance would dump her in a heartbeat.

[@laurag502]

i completely understand wanting to meet once more but what she said/did just made him coping with her death even harder.

[@juliearmfield2634]

​@@johnbradbury8610i agree she's playing the martyr and just digging the knife in his heart again add twisting it this time

[@whimsy-chan1188]

​@@johnbradbury8610In the end her resolve probably waivered and she made a selfish but to me understandable choice to reach out. I'm not the type though to care if someone still loves their ex if that ex is dead.

[@heatherdickau5335]

Last story- His family is too quick to jump to the brothers side. This is how predators get away with abuse. People don't want to believe, so they deny. Acknowledging abuse would bring problems.

[@willgroody5296]

It’s disgusting the Ex knew what she was doing dragging this crap up it was selfish as she knew what she was doing and wouldn’t be around to deal with the fallout.

[@SavagePassion666]

It's like in her last moments she decided she'd made a mistake and decided to leave him hung up on her forever as a consolation prize.

[@willgroody5296]

@@SavagePassion666 yeah I know some palliative care people who say it wrong when they have people doing this knowing they’re causing pain and heartache but don’t think or care about the consequences. It’s similar to the many Reddit stories of things like awful abusive family members who want to assuage their guilt on their death bed, it’s never for the victim it’s for themself to ease their conscience

[@sachicocoa9013]

I can imagine her glaring and smirking at OP as they had their moment together. As if saying, "even in death, he'll always love me."

[@alderblanco2362]

​@@sachicocoa9013do you see yourself as an honest person?

[@sachicocoa9013]

@@alderblanco2362 ...I'd say so?

[@BruinPhD2009]

Story 1: HOLY COW! As I listened, I thought the crappiest of moves by the ex was to make a decision for her boyfriend, not even giving him the opportunity to decide whether he would have stayed and supported her through a difficult time. One of my great aunts did something similar. When she was diagnosed with cancer, she didn't tell any one, not her sisters, nieces, nephews, children, grandchildren, no one. They didn't know until she was in the hospital for the final time and the doctor (assuming everyone knew) told her that her cancer had spread. She died two days later, and their grief was multiplied by the fact that they didn't have the chance to support her when it really mattered. My great aunt was the kind of person who never wanted to be a burden to other people, so I understand her decision on one level. However, the pain that caused still echoes with the surviving relatives, 20 years later. Don't even get me started on Story 2...

[@kateemma22]

Ex was like 'I'm going to be a selfless person and let him go... sike'. Honestly, enjoy the bad place, sis.

[@blackrex828]

Wow can't believe you think the ex deserves to go to the bad place because they wanted to telling their ex that they always loved them throughout all this time and didn't want them to go on believing they didn't love them. You sound just as mad as some of the redditors that wish death on people in their dms.

[@swack24]

I mean this isn’t just “kicking someone when they’re down” bad. This is like “kicking them in the balls hard enough to castrate him after being stabbed in the heart” bad. I’m surprised this triple whammy didn’t drove him into self deletion @@blackrex828

[@samhayet4286]

@@blackrex828 Oh please, get off your high horse. If you can't see how calculated and selfish the ex gf in reeling her ex back in, you're just as blind as the ex bf. There was absolutely no reason for any of that, esp. the photo album that was sent after her passing. *That* is the absolute limit!

[@AngryReptileKeeper]

S1: I have one principle in situations like this- You can't compete with a memory. OP's fiance is always going to have his ex on a pedestal in his mind and heart, and OP will forever be second best, a consolation prize whose role in his life is to merely prevent him from being alone and to soothe his emotions. She's just a second-rate replacement to him, and I'm glad she didn't settle for that. Honestly, sounds like the dude utterly failed to heal from/get over his ex before moving on with someone else. Bed, made, lie.

[@hodgeelmwood8677]

Agreed! It's true that OP would be competing with a dead person! Their memory, anyway, as well as her fiance's thoughts about "what could have been." There's no way to come back from that.

[@LovesGaming37]

Story two: oh hell. That man would be banned from ever being in the same house as my daughter if that was my brother. It's disgusting

[@CircusoftheMoon]

He would have to go into hiding for the rest of his life if that was my brother. If not from me then from my mother. She’d take “I brought you into this world, I can take you out of it” to all new heights.

[@Saarman82]

Story 2 - OP's family are SOOOO DENSE!!! Frank is pulling his responses straight out of the groomer's playbook. She's lying, She came on to me. OP's parents and siblings seem almost TOO invested in defending Frank. Kinda curious what they know that OP doesn't.

[@Tokuijin]

For the first story, my verdict is "Your love for your first shouldn't be greater than/overshadow your love for your current." For the second one, I'm going with "NTA", as, with instincts, it's better to act on a false positive than to ignore a positive. Also, why, on earth, would a 13 year old lie about that for attention or, for that matter, why would she come onto a relative? "Frank" can stay the hell away for eternity.

[@spikesgirl9371]

Yep. I lost my husband 6 years ago and I know I could not love anyone as much so I remain single and people cannot leave me alone with that decision.

[@83gemm]

It’s just not been that long since predators were covered up in families. Growing up, I was told, “Never go anywhere alone with your uncle. He is never allowed to pick you up from school.” Which is more than other relatives did. But even so, my mom always felt super guilty that she didn’t have more of a relationship with him. Because that’s what she had been raised to believe. It’s just ingrained that “Shhh… we don’t talk about that.” There was also a lot of sympathy for my uncle because he was schizophrenic and had really bad PTSD from the war. Apparently, most believed he was “normal” before, but my aunt said that wasn’t true. I was super lucky because my mom overcame her guilt from her family enough to protect me. Back when you just didn’t cut people off for it. It was truly a different world.

[@catandrobbyflores]

People need to stop going "we don't talk about Bruno," when Bruno is a fricking monster and is a danger to younger family members.

[@83gemm]

@@catandrobbyflores Yeah, I think that’s finally been happening in the last decade or two.

[@ndawn90]

It's still happening to this day. I was SAed by my mother's husband. When I told my mom about it originally, she blamed me (she said it was my fault because I would walk around the house - my childhood home, the family home, my freaking home - in "skimpy outfits"; I slept in a tank top and pajama pants, and I would sometimes walk from my bedroom to the bathroom or into the kitchen to eat breakfast while I was still wearing my pajamas.) She also said it was my fault for not saying No, except I did say no several times, and my step-freak would threaten to kick me out and make me homeless if I didn't go along with it. I kept it all a secret for years and years, nearly a decade. When I finally decided to come out and tell the truth, my whole family turned their backs on me. I spent today (Thanksgiving) at home while the rest of my family got together and acted like everything is normal. The messed up part is that it isn't because they don't believe me - my mom never doubted it happened, she just said it was my fault, and otherwise I have a bunch of proof in the form of screenshots. No, it's because they've all apparently decided that my refusing to live with the secret and making that information public is somehow worse than assaulting your step-child, someone you've ostensibly raised since she was 7 years old.

[@lilazul2]

@@ndawn90Hateful family. It’s disturbing how many families, including my own, has at least 1 molester that people are silent about and still include in family functions. I’ve even been asked as an adult by my molester why I don’t like him and had to say, “You know….” with a very fierce face.

[@BLAHblahBlah1245]

Standing ovation to the dad who listened to his daughter. Also, if by some strange magic the creepy uncle is telling the truth with her flirting with him that just means she is already being touched by someone older and that's the only reason why that would happen and it would still mean the same things the dad already know by now. Get her therapy, keep the uncle away, and find out if there is ANYONE ELSE already doing things to her. I hope that girl is safe and that the family isn't helping the uncle get away with hurting that little girl. Glad the parents are on her side. It's so disgusting when people make excuses for predators.

[@QueenOfTheZombieApocalypse]

Story 2: “I’ve heard him say a lot of times that pedophiles should be sentenced to death” - if someone brings up the topic of pedophiles frequently and unprompted BE CONCERNED.

[@adriett4596]

Markee's voice acting in the first stories update is absolutely amazing.

[@Ospyro3em]

I know right- I started to believe it was happening to him personally 😂

[@catsncrows]

That's why I like his channel. This stuff is either painful or people being unhinged and reading it in a monotone drone is ehhh

[@morphinpink]

OP 1 is right to feel the way she does. She was in a committed relationship one minute and the ex threw a wrench into the relationship and took op's partner back into a grieving process. The ex just handled things poorly since before the break up, she should've been honest and let the bf grief naturally. Instead she made him grief twice and ruined the relationship she wanted him to have in the first place.

[@habituallearner7680]

The ex-fiance's behavior sounds manipulative and self-serving in the extreme. If she really wanted to make things easier on opie's boyfriend she would have maintained the ruse, not reveal it so dramatically on her deathbed in a scene calculated to cause immense grief.

[@jimbobjones9330]

@@habituallearner7680 To me it smells of "I'm dying, and have a lot to go through, and don't want this guy crying around me all the time, so I'll be noble and dump him" only to martyr herself in the end saying "See! I did this for you! Wasn't I a good person!... Oh, and here's this hornets nest so that, now that I don't need to deal with your annoying crying, I'll have someone who will mourn me for all time. Yay me!"

[@catandrobbyflores]

To me this sounds like the ex pulled the cliché thing of " I gave him pain so he'll aways think of me now" bs power move.

[@InvasionAnimation]

Lesson learned don't let my partner meet a dying ex.

[@Joetorres3]

At least not if he's not a confident person. This all is too much drama. People trowibg themselves on the floor and having panic attacks ... so pathetic.

[@nyxspiritsong5557]

I noticed the whole "it took him months to move on" after they broke up. I think he needed a LOT more time to grieve. And the ex and her mom should not have put themselves back into his life. Just because you're dying doesn't mean you have any right to mess with somebody's relationship. This is also why I think it's messed up for somebody who's dying to break up with their partner without telling them they're dying. (I saw at least one post about some guy planning to do exactly this). It's not fair to dump them for a fake reason then tell them later the truth. I feel so bad for op. I feel for the others for having to go thru all this crap. Sometimes life sucks really bad and blows up out of no where.

[@Bkgksan625]

@@nyxspiritsong5557Exactly! I hate drama and movie tropes like that too! The people they leave behind will not have closure. When they find out that the other died, it can be so heartbreaking! It is selfish to do that. At least give them the chance to make the decision to leave or stay.

[@DragonbornMike-ym2er]

Honestly I don't think I'd even want to meet my ex under those circumstances unless we were already on speaking terms. Im not gonna drag myself into the past, especially a past I was thrown out of.

[@thesamuraiman]

​@@Joetorres3you must not understand how panic attacks work 😂

[@ebifuon6776]

Good on op for protecting their daughter I wish someone had protected me. I was molested by a cousin at age 6-7 and had my grandmother's second husband creep on me for years before he found out I had my first kiss. At which he thought the appropriate response to that was to feel my chest and stick his tongue down my throat. I still have intimacy issues and thoughts of suicide im still in therapy for nearly 30 years later. DO NOT LET UNCLE FRANK NEAR YOUR DAUGHTER!!!

[@robinronin]

“I hope you get cancer for breaking up with me!!” Dude. Bullet dodged so hard. He knows how painful it is to lose someone to cancer and then goes on to wish cancer on the second woman he supposedly loved. That’s just... straight up evil 😬

[@juliearmfield2634]

Story 1. Nta. I hate to speak ill of the Dead but the ex was an a****** in that situation. Thats like jumping in front of someone to save them from the bullet and then just turning around and shooting them with that same gun before you take your last breath. It's very selfish and cruel and not something you should do to someone you say you love

[@mztweety1374]

Oh good lord these people don’t need a relationship they need therapy.

[@VidWatcher01]

Agreed

[@DragonbornMike-ym2er]

Story 2: So, Frank's 13 y/o neice is coming onto him, and he still wants to be around there? I think I need a new calculator, cause this math doesnt add up. On a serious note. Even if it was just a misunderstanding, Frank needs to be conscious about how he acts around others. And she would still be valid in feeling uncomfortable. Sounds like the whole extended family needs to go permanently. Both Frank and the daughter have admitted that SOMETHING is happening. But they wanna just say its all made up. Thats just delusional.

[@Letha-AnnCooper]

Brother said that the 12 year old was coming on to him. So at 13 she didn’t want to see him.OMG. They never show their perversion. A perv would definitely accuse the child of coming on to him.

[@EluneAnzu]

Story 1 update: that commenter said spot on what I was thinking, that the ex would be comparing OP to the idealized version of his deceased ex, he didn't have to go through all the bad times and can just block out the bad memories in his head, it's basically what *I* take as the meaning of "You can't compete with the dead", that a lot of people get evaluated to sainthood to some people when they die basically and nobody can compare to them.

[@ashassassin]

Story 2. So glad das is standing up for his daughter! So many people would do what your family did and take the groomers side. Keep protecting her op! Let her know she has bodily autonomy and that you will support and protect her in what she chooses to do with it.

[@melinagranger8505]

My older sister‘s first husband got arrested for making obscene phone calls to a 12-year-old. He literally blamed her. He said she was coming onto him. And my sister took his side. I’ve never met two people that disgust me more than they do. The only reason they’re not together now, is because he was killed in a car accident.

[@Enriquez2222]

Guess karma came to collect

[@melinagranger8505]

@@Enriquez2222 Karma definitely did

[@tunatofu63]

My guess the family is circling the wagon because golden child brother has probably been accused before.

[@roelthas]

First time I see an OP that's reasonable enough to not accept to be a replacement, which is what anyone getting with a widow do. Bravo, for OP.

[@DragonbornMike-ym2er]

Story 1: Honestly, the whole story can just be summed up with "yikes". OP did what she needs for herself and thats for the best. Her fiance had basically become a widower who was over their ex. And that's not for everyone. She even tried being compromising by going with the visitbin the forst place. But then the boundaries set before just kept being broken. With all the talking about, fantasies, and even memorabilia of the ex. And the fiance had his own feelings he hadn't worked off yet. But the ex just barging back into the life of the man she throw away to spare him from all this. Just to say all this shit and give a final love confession now that she wont need to love with the consequences? Im sorry, but cancer doesnt excuse that.

[@dawnstone4424]

Wow. That story blew me away. The comments that say OP is not being fair and is jealous of a corpse…wtf??? No. He went from moving past an ended relationship (because she no longer loved him he thought) to hearing that because the ex had cancer and ended it so he could move on with his Life without guilt. So it’s like he was starting all over again. He needs to heal past that before he can even be in a relationship. OP is not the AH. The ex sure was. Why would she think that was okay to confess?? And then him reliving the past with her and telling OP happy moment stories. Hard no from me if it was my story. OP did the right thing. My heart aches for both of them. I lost my husband after we separated. I dealt with so much guilt. I left and he unalived himself. I’m still dealing with guilt many years later( 12 years)

[@onurkneezb]

Story 1: The dead ex was an extremely selfish, vile person. Whether intentional or not, the road to hell being paved with blah blah blah, you get the point. ALso, its likely the male ex likely never healed from his previous relationship.

[@liyo210]

That is one sick family. I feel so sorry for any children still left in that family for Frank to abuse. If even family members change their minds later, the damage is done and I hope they never forgive them.

[@NighDarke]

The first story, that was definitely a dick move by the ex. She had to realize what kind of trauma that would cause him, it was incredibly selfish on her end. And he's clearly not ready for a relationship and needs quite a bit of therapy so I hope he gets it. The second story, he's a predator and he's absolutely grooming his niece which is utterly disgusting. Anyone who believes him when he says she has a crush on him and she came on to him is a damn fool because that's exactly what they always say. It is only a matter of time before he is arrested for pedo behavior with somebody else's child because they don't just stop.

[@thekameru6058]

First Story - Felt bad and sympathetic for everyone until final update when the fiancé went full mask off. I know he is mourning, but he made it explicitly clear he expected op to be his therapist, nurse/caretaker AND partner, and when she made it clear it wasnt going to happen he got emotionally and verbally abusive, and worse; the moment he stated he wasnt letting her leave it went straight to physical cohersion. He was absolutely ready to use either force or emotional blackmail in order to get what he felt entitled to from her. I'm glad his female relations were also there to witness that.

[@megadude967]

Stpry 1 : IT IS NOT NOBLE TO CUT CONTACT WITH PEOPLE WHEN YOU'RE GIVEN A TERMINAL DIAGNOSIS. Like actually, get over yourself. All you're doing is removing the chance for people to say goodbye. Suddenly everyone who knew and loved you are left only with what ifs and whys. EXGF is the ultimate asshole here, though ExFiance wishing multiple cancers on OP isn't great

[@Broeckchen]

Story 2: "It's actually your daughter who is coming on to me!" Then why isn't he happy to be disinvited? Why isn't he glad to avoid that kid at all costs? If a 13 year old tried to proposition me at any opportunity, I'd rather jump out a fourth floor window than end up in a room alone with them. I'd feverishly try to avoid that kid. Because 1: I am the Adult here. I am the one with more agency in this situation, and I have the main responsibility to shut that down and reduce opportunities for escalation as much as humanly possible. And 2: I would not want to give anyone ammunition to think I'm doing anything wrong. I'd be so terrified that the kid might do something rash and a third party comes in right that second. And they would be correct to judge and fear me if that happened, even if I wasn't on board and was trying to shut down the situation, because I still enabled it. Hell, I'd probably try telling the parents very carefully, trying to explain that this isn't me being vain. If a kid hits on an adult, that's usually because of some kind of trauma or outside pressure, and I'd be worried that someone else groomed and normalized the idea for them. I would absolutely NOT be angry to not be invited to spend time around that child!

[@an6786]

The more videos i watch of Markee, the more I like this page. The screaming match killed me 😂

[@Davtwan]

OP should have taken a break sooner rather than stay around for months to support him. This was beyond her pay-grade. Grieving can be used to excuse a lot of things but not when it involves deeply hurting others. All in all, we can all agree that you shouldn’t lie to avoid tough situations from the people you love.

[@lydianelson7737]

Story 1: OP’s ex fiancée is not valid to say those things to her but OP is putting blame for this entire situation in the wrong place. This is all fiancée’s dead ex’s fault. Like does the OP’s ex not get to process the bomb that got dropped on him?

[@raz7573]

No, she won’t allow it, because she made a hard fast rule (no talk about exes) at the beginning of the relationship.

[@bluedragon8762]

He does but now he is comparing the op to a dead memory. He put an ex on a pedastool and op was the second rate replacement to stave off his loneliness. Not to mention how he stomped her boundaries. I'd have left too. You aren't going to live up to the memory of an idealized dead woman and I wouldn't want to be the second pick replacement

[@randomusername3873]

She doesn't want to hurt him, so dumps him out of nowhere with no explanation and leave him to deal with the aftermath Then she conveniently decides to come clean, making the all thing pointless, and leaving him to deal with the thing she supposedly wanted to avoid Conveniently when he's about to get married, just to mess with the new relationship You can't tell me it wasn't on purpose Too bad he felt for it

[@catandrobbyflores]

It's too much of a coincidence to be one.

[@Nyaneki]

my mother was abused by a young uncle who wasn't much older than her, one time she told her mother after she grew up and my grandmother said something like "yeah, i thought that might be happening". when i heard those words i was somewhat shamefully relieved that my grandmother had already passed away and i would never have to look her in the eyes and remember what my mother said. I also completely understood how my mother made an active effort to raise my siblings and i differently from how she was raised and her efforts to protect us as best she could.

[@DominosAndHearts]

While I feel for the bloke, op doesn't have to put up with being second best and sounds like OP fiance didn't take the time to grieve properly before moving on and overcoming any trauma, also the guilt trip "leave me TOO" wtf red flag 😮😅 maybe best you split now

[@Vipre-]

He took the time to grieve the end of the relationship as he knew it, only he didn't actually know the truth so when he got clued into the real reasons his relationship ended it rubber banded him right back to breakup square one and left him grieving all over.

[@Vipre-]

@@keplersdream901 He got over who he thought she was not who she actually was because she lied to him. He now has to process an entirely different ending to their relationship including the lost years. I wish OP the best as well but I don't think her neurotic approach to past relationships is going to do her any favors especially the older she gets. Everyone has a past and pretending they don't by banning all mention of it isn't healthy.

[@randomusername3873]

​@@Vipre-he is supposed to be in love with his fiancee, not with his lying ex Like, I can't believe he felt even bad for her

[@insideoutcabbage]

Far away Markee voice: the dead don’t have to pay taxes Me: HOWLING!!! 😂🤣

[@SaturnSenshi3105]

Mark backing up from his microphone so he doesn’t kill earbud users

[@shadowkissed2370]

"he is overprotective of his own daughter" after he tries to groom Op's daughter. My mother's boyfriend was EXTREMELY overprotective of me because "I am his and only his." He was the only guy allowed to do what he was doing to me. I better not even look at another guy because I am his. He had been r4p1ng me since I was 8. They really need to look into the overprotected daughter. He is probably doing the same if not worse than he did with op's daughter.

[@markanthony1004]

“They don’t have to pay taxes” lmao 😂 Story 2: Gotta love how the family just overlooks every red flag from the brother and can’t see the issue

[@betheguy_posts]

"ᵀʰᵉʸ ᵈᵒⁿ'ᵗ ʰᵃᵛᵉ ᵗᵒ ᵖᵃʸ ᵗᵃˣᵉˢ⋅" comedy gold, 10/10 ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

[@QueenOfTheZombieApocalypse]

Story 1: yeeeeaaah sounds like the ex needs some serious therapy and self work before he will be ready to be in a relationship. I agree with the commenter that said the ex is actively grieving, OP can’t fix that for him. Plus he majorly crossed a line when he lashed out.

[@despinasgarden.4100]

Honestly? I can't blame OP in the first story for chosing to leave, this is just incredibly unfair for everyone involved. The ex is reliving the break up all over again, but worse, because now he knows that she didn't break up because she stoped loving him, but because she was literally dying and he is now thinking of the life they could had if she wasn't dead. This is not diferent from marrying a fresh widow, he needs time and therapy to deal with his grief, not a new fiance. Breaking up was for the best from both of them. You are right Markee, this us too real for reddit, hell, is way too munch for KZbin besed on the comments here calling OP a monster for not handling a bad situation "in the good way". Was she way too on the defensive on the update? Yes, but again, everyone in reddit is a martyr when it comes to handling feelings.

[@habituallearner7680]

Well, they are Martyrs when it comes to other people's emotions. If they were in OP's situation they'd be singing a different tune. What the ex-fiance did with her so-dramatic, Hallmark "revelation" sounds an awful lot like a narcissist getting the last laugh on someone whom she discarded earlier.

[@beccaf262]

It’s actually pretty common for predatory men to be excessively protective of their own daughters. Either because they know exactly what men are capable of or…. Because they’re protecting their “territory”

[@strawberrysangria1474]

14:14 Someone hire Markee to voice act in a tragic, bittersweet story. He understood the assignment!

[@Magpiebard]

Big ol' Nope to OP's daughter ever be near his brother unless there is a growling guard dog AND a growling daddy with her. Nope. Nope nope. Had someone who 'thought I was growing up so nice'. The stack of photos he carried around of me undressed as a little girl in his wallet was a bit of a shock. Kid gets skeevie vibes, kid is allowed to stay far far away from kid. Gah. Now I need a shower and I have to hit the road instead for the holiday. Double gah.

[@crichtonbruce4329]

Don't forget the growling Mama Bear! The most frightening of them all.

[@zerobolt9506]

Im sorry but i couldn't stop from laughing with the way Markee was most likely standing back & yelling that argument 🤣 😂 😅

[@Snoopysnoopy255]

Op did the right thing by breaking up .

[@CorgiNub]

people are being weirdly hard on OP in story 1. I think whether her fiance and his ex are assholes is immaterial--he's definitely not ready to be in this relationship, and if I were her, I'd also want to be with someone who wasn't currently mourning the life he could have had with another person. It would be different if she'd already died, admitted she still loved him, and he had time to mourn all of that specifically. I really don't see this as being 'the same' as marrying a widower at all.

[@MrArielK]

She’s heartless, I forgot that people are unable to love others, that’s a crazy concept

[@Vipre-]

It'd be like getting with a widower the day after his wife's funeral I think is where that comparison comes in. The widower is in no mental place to be in that new relationship because the end of the old one is bloody fresh.

[@DrawciaGleam02]

I see, BUT there was another story where an OP DITCHED a fiance over her saying that they wouldn't be a thing if OP's late wife hadn't passed. Reddit thought OP was in the right for dumping her over that. So in this kind of situation, one can easily make themselves look like a selfish b*tch if they aren't careful.

[@ThePolarwolf89]

​@@MrArielKNot really. A wound was torn through his ex, which completely changed the relationship. He was thrown into the mourning phase again. And no one should date in this phase. Let alone get married. His old feelings were reloaded and changed the current relationship. As you can see from his statements at the end. It is understandable that she does not have the strength to endure this. And if we are honest ... none of us want to be in a relationship in which you are only second choice. It has nothing to do with whether you can love several people or not. And whether she can or knows something like that. It has something to do with the special love for your partner and respect. A feeling that (most) should only feel towards your partner and not in "what would" to an ex. He is not ready for a relationship in this situation.

[@MrArielK]

@@ThePolarwolf89 só you’re telling me that the 3 years that they had, where she most likely felt fulfilled, spiritually and emotionally, to the point she wanted to marry him, just meant anything because of a situation that could healed with time. Tbh I was just being petty by calling OP heartless, she’s allowed to walk away from any relationship for any reason, but she did cake to Reddit to get judge and got a pissy when she didn’t get the confirmation bias she was looking for. Textbook main character syndrome

[@MCBRUCE76]

S1: For those Redditors calling OP wrong, must be delusional as heck. This guy is in a relationship for almost 3 years, and he is emotionally cheating on OP. Your partner or spouse are not baggage carriers. Sharing your pain from the past is different from emotionally feeling for your Ex. If you can't move on from your Ex, then don't burden others forcefully to put up with every crap you have to offer.

[@mothertrucker936]

This is off the charts. What exactly was her reason for doing such a selfish act right before dying? And him sitting through with love in his heart while his fiancée is sitting right there! He was thoughtless and selfish towards op. I get that she was dying but this was a time when the truth could have been withheld. I’m 100% with op on this. The man is going through a complete breakdown and took op down a couple of rungs with him. Wishing op recovery from this very tragic ending. This has been traumatic and vile. As for the fiancé, hopefully he’s in hospital under close watch.

[@hagnat]

NAH for the first story. OP feels like a 3rd wheel, disrespected, unloved, seeing her life fall apart bit by bit. OP's fiancee managed to mourn the end of the relation, only to discover that it was a ploy from a dieing woman; the fiancee's ex should have kept quiet about it, but she was dieing... people think irrationaly as they see their own lives end like that. this is one of those tragic stories from ancient greek literature. No one is wrong, no one is right, everybody loses.

[@league-of-shadows]

Story 1: I am so glad OP got herself away from her ex. It’s an awful situation but she deserved better. He was clearly mourning the loss of his ex and the relationship he wanted them to have. He was clearly punishing OP too because he couldn’t lash out at the ex for lying to him during their breakup and then coming back in on her deathbed to destroy the calm he had. The dead ex dropped a bomb on him that was counter intuitive to her wishes and now she’s gone.

[@victoriafernandez8183]

For the 2nd story, I can't even type out my experiences without being rated r. More often than not, kids tell their parents what's going on, and the parents make the wrong move and ignore them. Good on op for taking the kiddo seriously.

[@VidGirl88]

Envisions Markee jumping from one side of the room to the other for the convo part and dies laughing. LIKE OP'S EX 'S EX.

[@moonyollie6977]

S2: The number of times overpritective predator bible thumpers are revealed as predators is astounding, and people continue to deny it.

[@Tijggie82]

I mean, I guess everyone has their own view on partnership? But the focus on ownership by OP over her partner kind of rubs me the wrong way...

[@FancySpicyTuna]

I’m glad I’m not the other person noticing that. It’s okay to have boundaries, but sometimes we talk about the past. Doesn’t mean I’ll go running back to that person just because I remembered a funny story, or need to process a bad time verbally. What’s not okay is demanding your partner forsake everyone and everything for you when you yourself can’t. What do I mean by that? OP potentially needed to forsake her own boundaries to help her fiancée (who just found out 1 he was lied to and 2 the person he loved is dying) grieve the death of the memory of the woman he loved as well as her actual death. He has to reconcile that she lied to him in a manipulative manner, as well as her actual death and she’s no longer around to answer questions. This is the “in sickness and in health” vow. He is suffering, and she’s angry an ex exists.

[@bluedragon8762]

​@@FancySpicyTunanot really. She was tired of trying to live up to an idealized dead memory. She would never have gotten over that line. He loved his ex and still loved his ex and op was a second rate replacement so he wasn't lonely. Now she has to watch as a dead woman takes the love of her husband? It took him 10 months to get over her while she was alive and now that she is dead and he is idealized her and what could jave been he would have always been comparing op to a dead woman. You can't compete with the dead the dead will always win.

[@christinawhitehead4034]

She’s going to feel second place and a consultation prize. I couldn’t do it

[@ivorydragon]

I dont know how to feel about the beauty of Markee’s delivery to a messed up story but that was absolutely chefskiss

[@randomusername3873]

I can't stand people like the guy in the first story If you are in love with your ex you stay alone, why do you have to start a new relationship with a placeholder because you are too weak to be alone

[@helianabanes4875]

My Uncle CONFESSED, in writing to the SA he put me through as a child and the majority of my family, on his side, STILL think I am transferring it from a different man, onto him! Some people CANNOT accept it and OP would do well to cut them out now or his child will be tortured by their attitudes. I think, perhaps, OP is not taking it seriously enough. She needs a therapist, I am betting he very recently, crossed a further physical line. Poor gal. :( ETA: the uncle that did this to me was also my favorite uncle; that is done by design.

[@thesewinggeekmiri9029]

also the ex-fiance in story 1 messed up. She wanted to push away the fiance to spare him the pain of watching her die, but then changed her mind at the last minute b/c she caved and wanted to say goodbye to the person she loved. I don't begrudge her for wanting to seek comfort during her last few weeks alive. however I DO begrudge her for her actions, because--dying or no--her actions were unintentionally selfish. They were! She emotionally yanked around her ex b/c she couldn't decide if she wanted him to find out the truth or not. And then she died and never had to deal with *any* of the fallout.

[@artemishallihan8973]

First story.... yeah there was no good ending to this and well above reddits paygrade. Ex's ex was wrong to 'set him free' only to then confess the truth later which undid any intention she meant with the first mistake. However she was also dying of cancer and dealing with her greif. Ex left an intense relationship on false pretense, did the work to move on, only to have all that emotional growth undone by a deathbed confession. Through no fault of his own, he was emotionally thrust back in time three years and now has to get over his ex all over again and he's not doing well at it, which is not surprising. The poster is sadly collateral damage, and while she'd be a Saint to have stuck it out for long enough.... in don't expect a real human to have managed such baggage they did not sign up for. Given the edits, she made the right choice in leaving and i hope her ex works on himself to move on.

[@hexgirl29]

Mark yelling will never not catch me off guard😂

[@aethertoast4320]

I'm sorry but the attitude of "He hasn't done anything yet and seems to be trying to just actively groom her so it's fine" is blowing my mind. I mean what the actual hell is wrong with that family member? I would rescind that family member's invite too.

[@MrClarissacain]

Omg 1st story she dodged a bullet, that guy is NOT stable. Like I get grief but that's a whole extra level of not ok

[@mikehilbert9349]

Story 1: NTA. He was not emotionally ready for any relationship. She treated him horribly and the final abuse was telling him in her dying words that she should have married him. He needs heavily medicated

[@eph2vv89only1way]

My ex did time in prison for sexually abusing my daughter. Guess what his excuse was. Yup. “She came on to me.” Grooming absolutely starts with comments. I am so glad op protected his daughter instead of waiting until she was sexually abused physically

[@EluneAnzu]

Story 2: "She was the one who always comes onto him". My guy, let's pretend a second that's even remotely true, you are the adult in the matter so you'd have to shoot that shit down the second it happens IF it did, which it didn't, secondly you TELL THE PARENTS because IF it happened, which again it didn't, hitting on an older family member is concerning; so even his "excuse" doesn't make him look good.

[@gigga143]

S2: Call the police and file a restraining order against your brother. The fact he said a child came on to him says it all, that shows he’s a pervert and a predator. Anyone who is supporting him is sick as well.

[@thesewinggeekmiri9029]

28:38 "Why didn't you tell me about this??" "I told you when I was 5." "Um, actually, you were 4." ...ahhh, so you DO remember then! -_- smdh

[@lcozzarelli]

I hate to say this, but the dead girl is totally the AH. Why the f@ck didn’t she just tell him she had cancer back then, and then let him make the decision as to whether he wanted to stay? He would have stayed in all likelihood until her death, mourned her properly, and moved on. But no, she lied to him, broke his heart, and has now torn his current happy relationship to pieces. I know she likely panicked after receiving the diagnosis, but what a sh!tty way to play things. If you’re going to cut him out of your life to let him be happy and find love, then DON’T CONTACT HIM AGAIN.

[@lajasnjohu5264]

I love how you yelled out the argument. That was cool!

[@Liz-Rivera444]

“They don’t have to pay taxes” 😂😂

[@KaosEngel]

Last story. Daughter was incredibly brave and her parents did all the right things. So much abuse and Heartbreak could be avoided if more parents were like them.

[@Strifeyyyy]

I'm not ever listening to markee's stories again as i drift away to a nap 🙃

[@videofan1010]

This was terrible. I feel bad for the OP. But i honestly feel worse for the fiancée.

[@invisigoth510]

Story one: before story is over- he’s grieving, put the wedding on hold & keep going to therapy while you process the situation & he grieves Lesson:: she shouldn’t have sat in on their goodbye. That doesn’t mean things wouldn’t have still turned out as they did but she may have a little less pain for herself Story two: to the response that the daughter just needs to avoid the funny uncle- she is & the parents are helping her do that by not inviting him to events she’s at that they sponsor

[@harperlane3936]

Seriousness aside markees acting low key made me weak af. 😂 I absolutely shouldn’t be laughing cause that whole situation was scary.

[@leylamurphy5797]

😂 I was so invested because of him

[@nightdweller6446]

S1. Omd, that ex totally nuked your relationship with that "confession ". If she truly did love fiance , she'd have kept her mouth shut and let him live his life guilt free. Sabotage deployed. S2. PAEDO VIBES! If she's got them, they exist for her at least. The "she came onto me" BS , yeah that the nail in the coffin for me. Big fat go to hell Frank!

[@annem7806]

1) postpone the wedding. You may be the rebound relationship. Please reconsider your future. Hold on everything. Speak to a therapist. Call him there to break up with him. Get some good literature from therapist to give to family.

[@colleens1107]

Why the heck did the ex pull this crap right before she died? Like she was ok for letting OPs fiancé believe for years she stopped loving him but now that he’s engaged she had to tell him the truth? Why do I have the feeling she DIDNT want him to be happy with someone else and was in fact so bitter she chose to…at least subconsciously…to sabotage his new happiness right before dying. Not everyone faces death with grace, many are bitter AF and cannot stand the thought of the person they love moving on to someone else

[@JenniSeven7]

14:32 Okay but that it almost exactly a line from Sense and Sensibility. “Eleanor, where is your heart?” “What do you know of my heart? What do you know of anything but your own suffering?”

[@nightmarefanatic1819]

I can believe the uncle saying the child came onto him, because I have seen kt in real life with a family member who was exposed for doing even worse

[@shaystizzy]

Story 1. I thought everyone kind of sucked in that situation. Until, OP broke things off with him and the dude went off the rails. The things he said, is something that can never be taken back. And good on his mom for slapping him in the face.

[@lulutrinae5781]

Man story 1. It was a no win situation all around regardless of how it went down UNLESS the ex didn’t drop a deathbed love confession. OP didn't allow the ex-fiancee to see her? Resentment. OP left the room? This still would have happened and it would be even worse because she wouldn't fully understand the why. OP forced the boyfriend to leave after that confession was dropped because that WAS a massive boundary violation? Again resentment and from how unstable fiance got might have even gotten violent. Things happened how it did and this is the narrative left. OP's attitude is shitty but its REASONABLY shitty. She was put in an extremely unfair, no win situation and because the EX had to have such a dramatic confession. My personal opinion? OP leaving was the best outcome. There was no salvaging that relationship there was no amount of therapy or talks that was going to get them back on track. It was over the second the confession left the ex's lips. Ex is dead and i can't imagine the kinds of emotions that come with knowing that would make you do and say stupid shit without thinking of the long term consequences. This was selfish. Pure, plain, and simple. OP is comparing her worth to the ex because the ex set that fucking standard right as she was leaving the restaurant ya'll. Is OP an asshole? Maybe, but I can't in good conscious shame her actions either. Its so easy to look at OP and call her an ass for leaving the fiance to deal with that grief completely alone and probably making it worse. But the biggest asshole is the person who decided to drop a fucking nuke like that on top of them dying. People shaming OP step in the fiance 's shoes for a second. Imagine having that kind of confession dropped on you and then they died. I personally? Would be so fucking pissed on top of my grief because i know the kinds of emotions that would leave me with. None of them are good. And if i had a new parter like OP? I wouldn't put them through my grieving like that. How is that fair of me? Fiance needs to be in therapy ASAP. Everything surrounding his life, both relationships, and now the consequences of it all are literally cracking at this brain considering how that last update went. That kind of confession breaks peoples. Its so heartbreaking and sad. Poor OP...wanna give her hug.

[@randomusername3873]

The boyfriend could have had the decency to not start a relationship with op since he can wasn't into her Or he could have had half a braincell and realized the ex was trying to mess with him and threat her as such

[@SLTheOneAndAwesome19]

Story 2: Let's put aside the uncle completely telling on himself and hypothetically say the daughter lied. In that case, there is *something* wrong in the dynamic with her and the uncle. She wants him kept away for *some* reason. Now, I know some teenagers can lie and manipulate and it could be possible she had selfish reasons to try and exclude uncle from the family. In that *very hypothetical* situation, the uncle being around the daughter would be dangerous if the wrong person heard her make the same accusations publically. Even in the scenario where the uncle is *completely innocent* he should be separated from the daughter while she should be put into therapy. No matter who was telling the truth or if it was somewhere in the middle, the resolution should have been reducing contact between them and putting the daughter in therapy. The fact the family can't see that and instead just dogpiled on the daughter, who is a *child, for making waves is vile. It's very obvious who the manipulative one in this story is, and it ain't her. Good on OP for doing what was best for his kid.

[@BriannaWeldon]

1. How would things be different if she met the fiancée after his ex died? I think the reality would be the same that he loved her first and deeply and couldn’t have her so he found the next woman.

[@samssams666]

I "hit on" my friends uncle when I was 8-10 years old. I had a "crush" on him when looking back on it I just loved the fact he had a beard bc I loved when my grandpa grew a beard and how beards felt in the early stages of growing, and no, this isn't a metaphor, no I wasn't SA'd by anyone in the family, the uncle of my friend flat out old me he was too old for me and eventually the crush went away because I was a child and it was a phase and he was an adult who knew better!

[@Bala_Niranna]

i dont really get when people are jealous of ghosts. shes dead, youre alive. you have him. you won.

[@OpticalArxenal]

....honestly I think both the ex-gf and the OP kinda suck. Boundaries apply to things you don't want done to you directly. BF didn't ask for the ex's letters etc, and he's allowed to wonder about something that literally can never happen, ever. OP also sounds really possessive and somewhat insecure. I get it, we can all be insecure, but you are obsessing over a *dead* person. She cannot do anything anymore. After update; OP should get some therapy. Still sounds really possessive and pretty unempathetic tbh. Honestly I'd almost suspect some form of sociopathy with what she's saying, very emotionally immature.

[@lc5625]

I agree the op is a lot. I mean the man just went through something rough, but instead of empathy she is pissed. My question would be if she had an ex in the same situation what would she do? She needs to stop the I need to be number 1 always deal, because goodness if she has kids or whatever, is she gonna get jealous of the kids?