r/AmITheA**Hole For Firing My Nanny For Drinking Alcohol?

[@Grouchbox]

First story - So you fired your nanny because your daughter drank, but you refuse to apologize and rehire her because the lying daughter would have to (gasp!) apologize. You literally took away this woman’s livelihood and think you are too good to apologize. You and your daughter are horrible people.

[@A_Real_Bloody_Vampire]

Whatever they were paying her wasn't enough to deal with the mother and daughter's attitudes toward her they sound like they think they're so much above her because she's a nanny otherwise how is apologizing humiliating.

[@AuroraLalune]

Yeah. Can see where the daughter gets it from...

[@robertx8020]

@@AuroraLalune THIS! The mother is the same so who can blame the daughter!

[@cindyrichelderfer7625]

Exactly!!! WTHeck!! The nanny needs to be apologized to and the daughter needs to learn her actions have consequences...Bad mom 🙁 YTA

[@younghopeproductions485]

And has the gall to call it a misunderstanding

[@mothertrucker936]

Story 1: YTA a massive massive massive ah You have fired a nanny thus giving her a bad reputation and your Princess of lies keeps her smirk without consequences. The young ones have said themselves that they liked the nanny better than your daughter. Truth from the mouth of babes. What else is pl getting away with? God forbid a 17 year old begs forgiveness to a lowly nanny (I’m being sarcastic, not sure you’d get it) and feels shame. Horrible parenting

[@younghopeproductions485]

Not to mention, the title is sorta false. It wasnt a misunderstanding. It. Was. A. LIE. One was at fault. Misunderstandings are when neither are at fault, like one person misremembering the time for a date and the other thinking the other is late or forgot said date. That's a misunderstanding. At least more reasonable to call it a misunderstanding then what OP's entitled bitch of a daughter did. I wouldnt be surprised if that daughter was bullying her younger sister and cousin and OP not giving a shit about the younger ones. The husband, uncle, or whoever had BETTER call that nanny and apologize for this "misunderstanding"

[@videofan1010]

At the least - I hope the OP reached out to the nanny to offer her own apology and a reference. She's a terrible person.

[@mothertrucker936]

@@younghopeproductions485 this would probably be op’s response “ why should anyone apologize, it was a misunderstanding” funny thing about these kind of people is that they spend their lives lying and end up believing their own bs. I hope the nanny service blacklists them

[@mothertrucker936]

@@videofan1010 just the title gives you the answer to that. She couldn’t bring herself to be truthful in the title, I doubt she’d admit the truth and beg the nanny’s forgiveness

[@theducklinghomesteadandgar6639]

Bad parenting!!! I would have wanted to take them down or have an officer come out to give them both a breathalyzer, before doing anything about the teens. As far as making the lying daughter apologize, they absolutely must apologize for lying as well as pull some community service for doing so with NO regard for how it would affect the nanny and her life experiences!!! As far as she thinks she doesn't deserve to be humiliated and thinks that is too strong of a punishment.... well, here is the thing little sister and parents, IF you don't like the consequences that happen when something is done, then DO NOT do the something!!! In the event that you do the whatever you will have to face the consequences of those actions, in this case being humiliated, having to apologize, publicly to the nanny and her parents, to her own siblings, to the uncle and the cousin and anyone else who was negatively impacted by what she did, do community service

[@alicewilloughby4318]

2:44 - Aww, would it be embarrassing for the little booze-hound to have to apologize to the innocent woman she got fired just to cover her own ass? Gee, that's so sad!/s She should damn well be forced to apologize and see the nanny every day. Maybe this will teach her that other people are not expendable and that framing someone just to get herself off the hook is inexcusable! Oh, and maybe not to drink, also. Has it occurred to her that the nanny lost her livelihood over this, while she herself would probably have just been grounded or similar?

[@williethomas6388]

Nta That roommate acts and sounds like a jealous lover.

[@stephjovi]

same. I mean drinking is fine she`s 17 right? That`s old enough. But she lied about the Nanny and they don`t want the daughter to admit fault and apologize. They raise a monster.

[@pearldragon6508]

I saw this nanny one done in a video quite a while ago before, but seeing it here reminded me that I was planning to check in on the sub for any updates. *Drumroll please..* The OP deleted their post and their account was removed. Guess OP couldn't hack the truth about herself and her brat of a daughter. Bet you anything she still hasn't apologised to the nanny. Most likely came away from Reddit with a gasp of "Well I *never!* People are SO RUDE these days! They have NO IDEA what it takes to keep my princess happy! How CAN I be TA for putting my daughter's fee-fee's above someone's job?? Don't they understand she'd be EMBARRASSED? What is *with* these Redditors - this was not the support I was expecting!" *Cue eye roll* 🙄🙄🙄

[@A_Real_Bloody_Vampire]

Not really surprised both older daughter and mom sound like entitled AHs.

[@Grouchbox]

He takes his kids college money to use for gambling, and he happens to win. If he had lost his kids wouldn’t get to go to college. This sounds like a serious gambling addiction. He needs to get help.

[@WobblesandBean]

Right?? How can he think what he did is ok just because he won? He still gambled with their future! He took money meant for them, and used it for his own selfish desires. That's so messed up.

[@Grouchbox]

@@WobblesandBean This is common in gambling addiction. They see betting money as an investment, when in reality the house always wins in the end. Wife needs to move the college funds into her name and block him from accessing family funds or he will end up doing this again and losing it all. This man needs an intervention.

[@jaggirl]

30K is a huge gambling problem. Especially when he used his children's education fund. Needs addiction help for sure. It's the usual gambler justification story..lol

[@ginathecookie]

Yep

[@luvondarox]

Right? Listening to the incessant justifications and incredulity about being in trouble for using their _children's college fund_ to sate a gambling addiction was just... yikes.

[@WobblesandBean]

That third story is yikes. Why does the groom live with such a creep?! Frankly, if I were the bride, I'd dump him. He's placing her at risk by refusing to protect her from that lunatic, for absolutely NO reason.

[@tamitami7396]

Yeah, the roommate is also his boyfriend, Only reason he freaks out about them have sex. or spending time together. Boyfriend just has not admitted he is bi or gay.

[@nishanish1888]

@@tamitami7396 Exactly! They're in a relationship.

[@suehirsch6545]

Re not drunk nanny: OP IS THE AHOLE!! Apologizing is a part of life!! Good parenting skills include teaching directly AND indirectly to apologize when your wrong. YOU owe the nanny an apology as much as your older daughter does. Humiliation doesn't even come into it. Apologies and humiliation are falsely correlated, here. Humiliation isn't the goal of an apology.

[@kirstenornelas881]

Plus she has no regard for the fact she actually humiliated that nanny!

[@rosaazure]

Story 1 - YTA. I think OP doesn't want to apologize to the nanny for firing her and is using the daughter's pride as a shield. Photo shoot story - I agree with the comments. I think that the roommate has feelings with the groom and is so far in the closet he can visit Narnia.

[@judelbugsrutter6727]

That could be it but as I was listening what went through my head was this... I was pretty religious in my 20s and took my purity pledge very seriously... I was convinced (along with others in my youth group, because our youth group leadership low key preached it) that allowing fornication in the house was opening a door for the devil. So he could be worried he'll need to host an exorcism on his house.

[@staceyleeweeaks-hernandez8583]

I've been a night shift nurse for 30 years and having a drink after work is acceptable even if it's 8 am.

[@Nikki_81]

I work shift work with majority of the shifts being night shifts, 8am is my 8pm ... if I want a drink, I'll have it then! Lol

[@michaelplunkett8059]

Lucky him to get Carrie Nation for a roommate.

[@bluejaywoman3421]

Honey, I played Rusian Roulette and didn't die. Wife explodes. "But I didn't die. What's wrong?" He risked money that was for his kids' college fund, money that wasn't his to risk. The college funds need to be moved into an account he can't access, that has penalties for early withdrawal, etc.

[@aliquot8404]

Trust with restrictions *preventing* any withdrawals and only allowing deposit.

[@GameMasterToolbox]

That first story: I think the mom is covering her own ass, and is afraid to open herself up to a court case.

[@kyriacarica5862]

Story 1: Some people shouldn't be parents. Let her be humiliated. She needs to learn that actions have consequences. Edit: the story about the husband and the miscarriage - husband is absolutely disgusting. I hope he becomes her EX-HUSBAND soon.

[@jaggirl]

100% true. They will have big troubles with that daughter. Mother will keep covering up for he bad behaviour. The daughter will continue with bad behaviour, cause she knows mother will have her back.. Very sad and disgusting situation.

[@ZoeJasper9]

It doesn’t even matter if it was 5 years or 20 years ago if she has decided that these people are toxic and does not feel safe around them she has the right to make that decision. I’m so sick of people telling others they should subject themselves to mental abuse because family is important. I say this as someone that listened to it for 20 years. Now the person that kept saying it to me is asking for help because the same person is abusing them. Maybe just maybe if someone says someone else is abusive to them, it’s true.

[@kotey1958]

humiliating to be fired for something she didn't do

[@jenniferstewarts4851]

Story 1: So, that makes this a wrongful Dismissal? Termination without notice? Can you imagine how much the courts would make the family pay over that? The nanny should at least be getting 90 days of severance from the family without asking... More likely 6 months pay, to continue even if she finds employment before hand... AND a massively good reference.

[@jgw5491]

Depends on the locale, unfortunately. In a more just world that would be the standard. In much of the US...sigh.

[@bluejaywoman3421]

Before I meet my husband, on my dating profile I put all my quirks. My interest in RPG, Sci-Fi, that I had 2 cats, was learning to play a frame drum, learning Welsh. Anything I would not quit because the person I was dating didn't like it. The things about me that would not change. A child would have been on the list. Kate is insane.

[@akiadima3814]

Ohhhh that's a good idea!

[@ericaallisonc]

So did i, but at this point i strongly believe 8/10 only look at your picture and skip the bio... My bio: “my hobbies are writing, art, and making motion graphics for youtubers”. DM: “so what are your hobbies?” 🤦‍♀️

[@SAJK0KAT]

I love this! Wish more people did that 😂

[@bluejaywoman3421]

@@ericaallisonc I got more than 1 response with d¡cks. The guy who I responded back to is the one married. And his NSFW pictures were recreations of famous art (Rodin’s The Thinker and latter after chatting he showed me is photo-recreation self-portrait of Da Vincis Vitruvian Man). A man that proposed at a Ren Faire and has gone to ComicCon with me. He designed our wedding invites. I found my artistic geek.

[@takkycat]

The abused sister story kept making me think of an old country music video, "She Can't Save Him". The video cuts between a woman with an alcoholic husband and a dream of her trying to save him from drowning but he just pulls her under. It ends with her realizing HE has to save himself and he will only destroy her if she tries to "save" him. OP is in that kind of situation. His sister will not listen until she is ready to hear him. What she really needs is therapy but there is no way her husband will allow this.

[@Shenan-again]

“Since roommate has no other real friends” I fucking wonder why

[@carolroberts4614]

It's amazing isn't it? He'd be a wow at parties!

[@larry-naylor]

Wow the first story made my blood boil. Where is the accountability for the daughter? This poor nanny did nothing wrong and she deserves an apology and a good reference at the very least.

[@moimeself1088]

The mother also needs to apologise. she's overlooking that part. Or she's hiding behind her daughter's "shame" to obscure her own fault in all this. Def the ah.

[@larry-naylor]

@@moimeself1088 Yeah I meant an apology from the mom, didn't really think about an apology from the daughter. 😂 But yes an apology from both would be well warranted.

[@moimeself1088]

@@larry-naylor agree 100%

[@rebecculousrk]

That nanny story infuriated me! Nobody mentioned the woman who LOST HER JOB!?!? She did nothing wrong, she loved those kids who loved her back. Its unconscionable to yank a loving carer out of the life of a child. The nanny needs the job or she wouldn’t be doing it, and finding a good nanny is amazing. The mother is not only spoiling an entitled child who is already using alcohol in high school, and headed for worse problems, but teaching her younger child that she cannot rely on the adults she loves to be there, to be reasonable, to be ethical, etc..etc..She should apologize to the nanny, offer her her job back, and write her glowing referrals. That gambler guy is like; “Okay check it out! I was playing Russian Roulette and I won a thousand bucks!”…”Honey, why are you upset?”

[@michaelplunkett8059]

Cut a check you cheap witch. You torched a woman's livelihood and let your living drunken daughter call the play. YTA to 1,000. Who let's the liar, transgressor, determine their punishment?, Liar needs embarrassment for her deeds.

[@tricorvus2673]

I'm an old fart from a different generation, 56. In my day, we forced a kid to apologize and take the consequences for their actions. And yes, it's humiliating. THAT'S THE POINT. That's what makes you want to not do that thing ever again. Bravo on you for shitty parenting.

[@habibi5683]

Is OP serious about not apologising to the Nanny? This makes me sick to my stomach. What an absolutely vile woman and daughter.

[@intetx]

ONLY 30k? Wtf. It might, MIGHT have been excusable if it was like 300$ and he intended to pay it back over the next two months or so.

[@zapheil]

Well, at least the OP in the period stains story sees periods as a normal bodily function instead of seeing it as an “unmentionable.” He pretty clearly doesn’t understand what that amount of blood does to bed stuff though :T

[@terranbishop5549]

It takes several attempts to finally leave an abusive marriage. They have an incredible mental hold on you. They are master manipulators.

[@dianaquill9969]

At around 23:20 or so; HECK YEAH! The Bible DOES give allowance, there're a handful of verses on marriage, and if a husband is abusive that's literally a situation where she's expected to leave the marriage.

[@akiadima3814]

Wow so a nanny lost their job/income over a lie and this woman is worried about having to apologize. Great

[@Grouchbox]

The husband who took a vacation while his wife’s mother was dying is a total jerk. He seems to regard her as a servant who is falling down on her duties. Big, reeking ah there.

[@videofan1010]

He doesn't care about her feelings. When does the wife get a break from her feelings???

[@WhitneyDahlin]

@@videofan1010 I disagree. He was suffering from caregiver burnout. And that is a very real thing. I don't know if you've ever lived with anyone who suffered from a mental illness or depression like this but it is absolutely exhausting. It's hard to describe just how emotionally exhausting it is to have someone lean on you for support for five full months straight and who's constantly having emotional breakdowns that you then have to deal with. HIS mental health matters just as much as his wife's mental health. He NEEDED a break. You literally lose your ability to empathize in situations like this if you don't get a break. I think everyone is being way too hard on him. His wife seems very wrapped up in herself and her feelings and is totally ignoring him and his feelings which are just as important. Yeah she has a reason to feel this way because her mother is in hospice but that doesn't make his feelings any less important or valid.

[@raz7573]

@@WhitneyDahlin Yes. Caregiver burnout is very real. When a family member gets a diagnosis that it’s terminal, there can be many, many false alarms. My mom held on for two years and toward the end, we were all very burnt out. Our husbands included. It seems OP got a double whammy because his wife pushed him away.

[@WhitneyDahlin]

@@raz7573 oh yeah same here. I was my grandfather's main caregiver 6 days a week for 2 years and he was bedridden and I was so burnt out towards the end. He had hospice for several months just coming in to check on him and see how he was doing. But he just held on. He was so miserable too. He wanted to die and was upset he was alive. It really was emotionally exhausting. I was so burnt out and I had to get on antidepressants the last few months he was alive. People are being wayyy too hard this guy.

[@raz7573]

@@WhitneyDahlin Sorry you and your grandfather went through all this. It must have been so hard.

[@kittykat65]

As to the restaurant story what's the saying "they built Rome in how many years and it burned in a day, so it took the OP'S father and mother how many years to build their business up and it sounds like the ops going to let his wife tear it all down.

[@jellysquid8077]

Holy shit the story about the abused sister broke my heart. One thing I've had to learn, is that while you should try to help your fellow humans, you shouldn't destroy your own mental health for the sake of someone else's. And in a way, someone being abused like that and dragging you down like that, is the person acting as an unwilling extension of the abuse onto the person helping them. It's honestly really sad to be in such a situation.

[@Keyonne88]

Fence story; don't let random neighborhood kids play in your yard. If they get hurt while on your property, you are liable. Neighbors being mad you put a fence up will have to get over it since they didn't listen when you asked them nicely not to go into your yard.

[@QueenOfTheZombieApocalypse]

I have Celiacs - diagnosed at 16, am now in my early 30’s. I still have a complicated and often unhealthy relationship with food. I spent years associating “normal” food with nothing but pain and anxiety (there was a bad period in college where I would go 2-3 days eating almost nothing because no food supplier near me was safe). and binging the few foods I could eat when I found them. OP in that story really needs to consider seeing a dietician or a therapist to work on her relationship with food, before this spirals into a full blown eating disorder. P.S. depending on how severe OP’s CD is, she may also be suffering from some chronic vitamin deficiencies which can impact your mood and psychological state pretty dramatically

[@mj-kawai]

Last story.European here. Also, I worked in a restaurant. The staff in restaurants doesn't stay after closing time. They work a lot of hours and need rest. On the next day, early in the morning, they have to be back in the restaurant. There's a lot of preparation to do. When there are groups, they tip because groups are extra work. It's not compulsory, but it is traditional. If that "lady" would do that here (Paris), on the next day, the staff would be all 'ill'. Or gone for good. Workers are protected by laws and cannot be disrespected. That lady could learn something by working there for a day!

[@venetabritt2771]

Kate crossed the line. She could have endangered his sin. Doesn't matter why, but to lock a child in a room without their parent's knowledge and consent. Wrong move lady

[@HowToPnP]

30K is what I earn in a year BEFORE TAXES! "I just gambled a years earnings" is a typical addict line.

[@phoenixsky6124]

Whether the nanny comes back or not your daughter needs to apologize and take responsibility. Pathetic parent as well as an AH

[@kristinwiebold2433]

But had I been your nanny, I probably wouldn't want to be rehired since you don't believe me.

[@sandyberger-r9j]

I am from Europe and, yes, we don’t tip that much, but decent people don’t treat restaurant staff like crap either.

[@davebaton8879]

In a similar situation I would wager that the owner would still give their staff a nice tip for voluntarily staying later than scheduled and serving their guests despite the different tipping culture.

[@Gotabonetopick]

This whole "Not a good neighbor" stuff pisses me off. Protecting yourself from getting sued for something that isn't your fault is always right.

[@jdd9993]

Author's bullying story: I can truly relate to this. I was harassed & abused by a team of bullies in a parochial school for SEVEN YEARS until eighth grade graduation. Fortunately, my high school experience was better and I recovered from the trauma. OP merely told the truth & I would have done the same. The school & its bullies are merely reaping the consequences of their own actions. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.

[@SCUBASUEReynard]

This woman is worried about the daughter apologizing and her daughter is closet drinker. Who hides cans under her bed. This is the kind of kid who dies behind the wheel. What a Karen! That woman needs to get her kid in alcohol counseling NOW!

[@autumn557]

Does anyone else want like a 1 year anniversary video on any and all updates?

[@laurenmentink7401]

If there is spaghetti in the house I will eat it any time I want even for breakfast. Sometimes I have breakfast for my evening meal. NTA for having drinks during your "evening" hours.

[@tricorvus2673]

I'm 56 and I've been known to have a not-breakfast burrito for breakfast; hamburger, chili with beans, all kinds of stuff. If they aren't paying for it, why does it bother someone else what someone eats and at what hour?

[@GIChiyo]

The period sheets one: Would the OP be ok with cleaning and re-using sheets covered in.....manly fluids of another man? Even of someone you know and "is now family"? YTA

[@duanesamuelson2256]

Sure. Just don't use bleach with semen since it will stain yellow. And how can people be so polarized about it unless they've never used sheets or towels at hotels, spent the night at a friend's etc.? When traveling do they pack their own sheets and towels? Though I did bring this up to an OCD friend who started packing an extra bag of sheets towels pillows etc afterwards.

[@darkshadow5581]

30:35 NAH. OP has to look after themselves, and after 5 months of caring for 2 kids, working and taking care of all housework, no duh they needed some time to re-center, just sucks what happened when they left.

[@humanbean852]

1:40:00 If my husband went behind my back to invite my dad to see my baby, I would leave him. There's good reasons family gets cut off typically, and even if it's a dumb reason, it's not for op to 'fix' her. Families have the bias of being your favorite people, so it takes something awful to make them public enemy #1

[@denises3630]

You cant help a person in a toxic relationship if they refuse to leave!! Op tried hia best for 2 years and the whole time she was thinking to go back!! Dont cut her out completely, but dont enable her. She cant make good choices for her 4, no 5 KIDS !!

[@samantharobinson1630]

love listening to these long ones while organizing my room

[@farrahchyben]

Same! I’m cleaning my bathroom lol

[@TheAzynder]

They do have their upsides... downside being that I remember almost all of these.

[@Keira-_-]

Same.

[@shecoda4402]

STORY 1 Foggy adults create snowflake children. This isn't about the daughter being humiliated. This is about Mom not wanting to be humiliated by saying she was wrong and she's sorry for the accusation to the nanny. Mom is a big AH, so is the daughter. STORY about photographer. This is strange. Why kowtow to the roommate? Is something going on there?

[@Skr4x]

First story: One word; enabler.

[@shahana_style]

Story 3 - That roommate is creepy af and gives bunny boiler

[@ilexater9556]

The sister with the abusive partner is a drug addict, and she's not willing to give up on her addiction. Until she's ready to get clean, she's going to be stuck in the cycle of emotional highs and hells until it kills her. All the op can do at this point is get the kids out of this the best he can before it's too late.

[@staylor3483]

Story 1: YTA Not making your daughter own up to her lie, which caused the nanny to be unjustly fired, will allow your daughter to reason that she can lie without just punishment. It also shows the other children the same thing. Humility is a wonder quality for both you and you older daughter to learn. That nany did nothing wrong. She deserves an apology from not just from the pretty little liar, but from you too. Who are you really protecting by not contacting the nanny, your daughter or you?? Be the better person and make your daughter a better person too. Teach the younger kids the right path to humility. Arrange for a face to face apology!

[@ArthropodJay]

the one that had the weird roommate: OH MY GOD, THEY WERE ROOMMATES

[@nilianstroy]

Story 3... My first thought "groom is in a romantic relationship with creepo roommate"...

[@TempestinBlue]

Omg last OP filled me with rage. And flashbacks. I’ve been that server who was kept after hours for no tip, and it’s the worst feeling. It’s horrible and enraging and terrible in every way. If the party in question had been affiliated with the company in any way? I’d have quit on the spot.

[@kismetcaffet9862]

I've miscarried before. I cannot fully express what it meant to me that my husband stayed with me when I was still grieving, which took more than one week. I appreciate that he wanted to be with me and wanted to help me how he could. I appreciated that he was upset, too. That validated that it was ok for me to be upset and feel what I was feeling. I even appreciated that he didn't really know how to support me through it. That was a really crappy thing for both of us to go through and who knows how to deal with something so tragic when they are in the middle of it, too? His confusion, pain and loyalty helped make me feel that we really were in our marriage and family planning together, we are partners through everything. As upsetting as the miscarriages were, our relationship was strengthened because we went through it together. I wouldn't be surprised if the AH OP comes back from his father's wedding to find the locks changed. Everything he has done in response to the miscarriage of a wanted baby has only served to weaken the bond between him and his wife. Tragedies have just as much power to bring people together as tear them apart.

[@paulinadeboer3604]

i had two pregnanties, i got angry about the words not bond with the baby.. A mother bond with the baby when he/she/they whatever grows inside her. That he did not bond is something else. He has a total lack off empathy for his wife feelings and is a real ah.

[@kimholland4822]

Op good for you for putting up the fence. If I was you I'd look out for trespassing. Put up private property signs so if a is hurt on your property you can't be sued

[@kbf9644]

Who dafuq sleeps bareassed on their period. That’s gross af, waking with your blood all over your legs and possibly elsewhere? 🤢

[@zachf748]

*_Story #1_* I have serious doubts OP was worried about it being awkward for her daughter, and not herself. She is despicable and her behavior is beyond appalling.

[@grimlin2020]

"what 13 year old wouldn't snoop" is a wild thing to say, i knew how to respect peoples privacy at that age

[@austinbuscaglia8705]

I worked Night Audit in hotels for a good 3 years and my sister and family constantly called me lazy, and got on me for sleeping all the time when in reality I slept the normal 8 hours a day. I worked from 11pm to 7am, they didn't grasp that I'm not going to stay up all day and night indefinitely which is what they must've thought a normal person would do 🤷

[@Mouthymensch]

The one about the fiancé inviting over toxic family.. new fear unlocked. I also come form a toxic family have gone NC with almost everyone. If they went behind my back I’d burn that relationship to the ground.

[@krazycats564]

Even if the step daughter didn't bleed all over her sheets, someone should have washed the sheets between girls. Especially since she didn't wear pants.

[@kellyalves756]

Story 1: Nanny doesn’t just deserve an apology, she deserves an absolutely glowing letter of recommendation from OP. Mailed, if necessary. The first question Nanny is going to get when she interviews for a new position is “ why did you leave your last job?”

[@mikdavies5027]

In story no.1 . If I was the person involved, I wouldn't come back to such an entitled family anyway!!

[@dorothyfromoz6360]

The third story: she is a codependent trapped in a cycle in Of abuse and until she gets psychological help there is no saving her. No saving her, do you understand?

[@jay2thaudy]

So nobody is going to mention that the roommate probably has a crush on the engaged roommate? They might actually have a secret relationship. I hope there's an update! Edit: FINALLY the last commenters said it.

[@carolroberts4614]

It took a while to sink in, didn't it?

[@SaraH-jn5db]

Way to teach your kids them lying has no consequences

[@OthelloSilvermoon]

Parenting 101 never lock an interior door that can't be easily unlocked from both sides incase of emegancies, the parent in that story had every right to be upset with their friend what if their had been a fire and the child was stuck in the room and couldn't get out because. "I was just trying to help you out by not telling your blind date about your kid." she was nuts, also that should be one of the first questions you ask while dating do you want/ have kids for two reason 1 so you can be prepared to take on the responsible of a child and 2 so the person can back out early if kids are a deal breaker

[@annageorge8406]

My big brother David was stillborn, but he is a very big part of my life. He is the reason why my twin and I are so special to my parents, and why her being pregnant with my twin sis and I was so traumatic. My mom says, "if it wasnt for david i would have never known that i was born without a cervix."

[@kathleentate8343]

Next time, she drinks at 8pm, get on her, for her drinking problem.

[@co7314]

The gambling dad is reckless and risked his kid's future. I would immediately leave him.

[@peachy9750]

My god... I "only" gambled 30k... That's 3x more than I make in a year...

[@jgw5491]

Yeah, and you KNOW that now that he has won, he'll do it again. And predictably lose. If he has dropped the money in an account accessible to his wife, she should promptly withdraw it and establish an account that only she has access to so the kids' college fund is safe.

[@digitalharmony26]

Tips aren’t customary in Australia, but if I lived in the US I would tip, because that’s the thing to do. You can’t just ignore it because you didn’t grow up that way. Especially under these circumstances of keeping them back without notice. I feel so bad for the staff.

[@WobblesandBean]

38:30 NTA X 1,000,000,000! Ugh, people who chew with their mouths open are _disgusting!_ Omg, how could your mother tolerate being with someone like that?! I have zero respect for anyone with such atrocious manners, and your stepdad and stepsiblings are utter slobs who, frankly, are bullying you. Your mom has chosen to subject you, her child, to these people, when you should be her #1 priority. She shouldn't be surprised if you don't want to have a relationship with her once you're finally able to move out.

[@judyfirpo4422]

The brother with a nasty comment because your house was big. When he said all that instead of attacking you should’ve just said that’s OK I can afford it. And let it go there that we got the same point across without as much negativity. It sounds to me like he’s just one of those people that like being miserable. Let him enjoy his misery and ignore him.

[@damiensalaz1729]

In Texas as the injured party, any awards they could receive will be reduced according to the percentage of it being their fault. So if you post up a few signs that state " no trespassing" " no soliciting" " not responsible for any injury that may occur" and you personally tell the parents to no longer allow children onto your land along with maintaining a sturdy fence then you can not be held accountable for anybodys injury while on your property.

[@jenniferwood8944]

This kid should apologise and grovel for lying about the nanny! The daughter who lied like this will learn nothing from not apologising!

[@theducklinghomesteadandgar6639]

Oh my goodness!!!!!!!!!!! Period Blood, need I say more??? One commenter hit the nail on the head to help Dad understand why this is a big deal. Let's say his daughter has just finished college and is getting married and people from both sides have come in for rehearsal wedding dinner an all that and because rooms are limited Dad and step mom will go stay in an RV they have out front, while daughter and fiancé can share Dad and stepmom's room since grandparents got her room How would Dad feel if soon to be SIL/son, and daughter borrowed their bed and left his bodily fluids behind, and then didn't say anything about it, left all of the bed clothing on the bed and didn't try to clean up, and his parents come from down the hall, the dad takes a huge whiff, looks at his wife and say, "yea honey you smell that?" to which she says, Yup, I sure do." looks at her dad and says, "it is normal for him because he doesn't like to use condoms.} and they just turn and walk away and expects him to clean it up. And now dad's parents come by and ask what happened and he tells them, and his mom says, "well son, it's just his bodily fluids, the same kind you have, no biggie, just suck it up and clean it up." and they walk away!! Yup that would be the equivalent of what OP wife and adult daughter have done here. FIRST OP and wife need to apologize and then the whole bed with bedding left in place as is needs to be moved into the offender's room and left for her to handle on her next visit, AND that she must wash it all herself and will not be allowed to bring any other bedding in for 2 months of her actually spending at least one whole weekend in the room for 2 months, i.e. Jan., one weekend, Feb, one night, March one night April one whole weekend....okay now she can get new bedding. NOW after moving the bed and stuff OP and wife need to take daughter down to get a high-end quality new bed, mattress and box springs, from top to bottom, and quality high end/high thread count sheets and high-end comforter of daughter's choice to replace what the other daughter stepmom and Dad disrespected, and the adult daughter ruined!!!! SHAME on you OP!!! You, your wife and her daughter are definitely some very major A-HOLES in this case...to a 13-year-old girl who is barely if at all experiencing cycles, much less able to normalize them yet, no matter what she helped her mom with!!!

[@Wouldyoukindly4545]

The gambler reminds me of my 10yo son when I say he's done something dangerous and could have gotten seriously hurt. Him: "but I didn't" Me: "this time. By luck"

[@paulineisme]

The story about the step sister free bleeding on OP's daughter's bed: she offered to sleep on the couch first so I'm wondering if they would have been just as cool about it if the couch had wet blood on it.

[@mittz7488]

There is nothing wrong with fat shaming it is the best thing in the world. I am by putting my god is it 260 pounds and is this one girl let me know in the not the nicest ways and I think you’re from the bottom of my heart. I have never looked better or else better. I have type two diabetes, high cholesterol, lots of health problems and today I am perfect

[@lorifiedler13]

OPs poor sis still belongs to a religious group/cult that doesn't allow women the right to say no. If her husband demanded sex, she was obligated to let him. She is incapable of leaving on her own. Give her 1 more chance but insist she have therapy while she is with you. And she must start divorce proceedings immediately. Even without education she can get a job working for a cleaning service.

[@bluejaywoman3421]

Mom is an AH for not rehiring the nanny. Elder child has suffered any consequence for her actions. If her child finds this humiliating, good, maybe she will not make this mistake again.

[@ZombieSazza]

You can’t help someone that can’t accept that they need help, and until his sister wakes up, she won’t accept that she needs to change and needs actual help

[@Davik001]

markee YOU DA MAN

[@kristinwiebold2433]

Story 1 op your a massive YTA. You fired the nanny for drinking when it was really your daughter that was drinking. You and your older daughter owe the nanny a huge apology. Your oldest needs to apologize to the nanny for lying. By not making eldest fess up to her action and punishing the eldest you are showing her that lying and hurting others reputations is ok.

[@maryfrancesobrien2420]

dropout: "tiny homes" is a lifestyle/mindset, is the brother in that? therapist: these appointments are usually 50 minutes long in the US but lateness and losing insurance paperwork is not okay.

[@raz7573]

Last story. YTA. You’re going to lose that hotel and restaurant because you’re alienating your good staff. That great reputation your parents built can go away overnight.

[@camwyn256]

I guess some people don’t know this. You don’t have to celebrate your birthday on your birthday. I rarely do

[@LOKI0186]

Ppl are cruel yeah guy goes to see friends but how much help is a guy that's completely destroyed. Him seeing her like that hurts kills him maybe he went just to recharge.

[@skyelindsey687]

With the nanny one, I would force the daughter to apologize and would apologize myself, but I still wouldn’t rehire the nanny because she proved she would lie about an important matter that should be brought to the parent’s attention.

[@froggy20362]

How?

[@skyelindsey687]

@@froggy20362 The daughter was drinking alcohol, which at her age depending on the state is illegal and can have the parents fined. The nanny knew about it but didn’t tell the parents even when confronted with the evidence and allowed herself to be fired over the teen’s stupidity. Omitting the truth is still lying. She showed she wasn’t trustworthy and would you want someone watching your kids if you can’t trust them

[@froggy20362]

@@skyelindsey687 I don't see where the nanny knew about it though. She was drinking it while the nanny was out taking the little girl somewhere. I'd imagine the teen was smart enough to hide it, and it wouldn't be the nannies job to watch the almost adult child only the actual kid.

[@jessicascoullar3737]

The nanny was hired to look after the younger children, not the teenager who was misbehaving when the nanny wasn’t there. The nanny is in no way to blame.

[@skyelindsey687]

@@jessicascoullar3737 nanny still knew the teen was drinking but didn’t bring it to the parents attention, so much so that the nanny lost her job.

[@n.a.nameless5435]

The forced reunion: "If you can't accept me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best". OP overstepped himself, big-time.

[@kirtemoon529]

Bro “only” gambled 30k… I don’t think I’ve even ever had that much in my bank account all at once 😂

[@PocketFullOfBacon]

I'm so lost from the period story because markee did one before when a guy freaked out when he seen it and he was the a hole for telling his gf to get new sheats but now when a dad told his daughter to just wash it he's the a hole? Like it's not a big deal or it is what is it?

[@lexisbrownstein7277]

The issue here is 1) the daughter did not give consent for somebody else to sleep in her, as the dad and fiancé just offered the bed up, 2) the person they allowed to sleep in the bed does so WITHOUT pants and bleeds all over the bed, 3) the TWENTY-ONE YEAR-OLD GIRL IS ALLOWED TO LEAVE and the father doesn’t make her wash the sheets.

[@CatNagTaylorsVersion]

Hello kind strangers

[@Grouchbox]

Hello friendly person 😃

[@huntereurich1100]

Sup

[@marianhoblyn1901]

Still don't understand why everyone is so hooked on age difference. Drives me insane.

[@ericaallisonc]

because it comes with a potential slew of dynamic relationship complications. If it’s 30/50, that’s fine, both are adults with fully developed brains, but a 40/22 relationship can have issues as the 22 year old has only been an adult for a few years and is still figuring themselves out so can be more easily manipulated. Also notice, how most large age groups tend to have a much older guy/young woman. That puts up red flags for many, especially with the surge of pedophiles coming to light.

[@duanesamuelson2256]

There's a life experience gap regardless..thats not necessarily bad. As long as both parties have compatible interests, and are honest about why they are in the relationship. However brain maturity..men sometime in very early 30's. Women mid 20's. It's why as an example 25 year old guy wraps a car around a tree speeding..you ask why and how the answer is I don't know. Prior to the accident that same guy would be able to list all the possible consequences but there is a disconnect still in the brain to have that knowledge relate to their action at the moment.

[@duanesamuelson2256]

@@ericaallisonc that's sexist actually...there's far more than a couple 50 on up women with 25 (or younger) men (or girls for that matter). It's common enough that there are commonly used phrases for the relationships..boy toy, cougars, jokes about the pool boy and so on. Socializing in areas with a large senior population I actually run into more women with (much) younger partners than men.

[@shaymorcormick8743]

​@@duanesamuelson2256still gross either gender

[@argestinewarren6400]

She was going to wear that white dress come hell or high water! She was advised not to and to expect anything to happen! I may have been quite too!

[@RockLikeAStone]

For the person who put up the fence to stop the kids from going in their yard. You tried talking to the parents and they refused, putting it back on you. This is the consequence. Also you should not have to inconvenience yourself on your own property.