My Mother Claims I'm Emotionally Destroying My Sister-In-Law r/Relationships

[@jbgra2566]

1st OP: can we applaud OP's fiancé? He's definitely a keeper for having OP's best interest in mind

[@sharyebethancourt3660]

He really had her back when OP didn’t have her own back.

[@ilovesports5468]

The SIL was CLEARLY trying to sabotage OP’s wedding. If she wants money, she needs to get a JOB.

[@WaitingxInxSilence]

I suspect she’s extra petty because OP’s spending money on the wedding SIL never had instead of just giving it to her.👀

[@Broeckchen]

The fiancé is so good. Defending OP the entire time and being so firm yet kind even to her!

[@eph2vv89only1way]

Story 1: That "apology" is what I have heard abuse counselors call a "nopology" - an apology that isn't actually intended to be an apology. Abusers use it to hoover their victims to come back or stay under their thumb. They don't actually mean it and aren't taking responsibility. They are just appeasing the victim.

[@maxsupernova]

Story 2: That sister is beyond evil. I wonder why she's getting divorced. I feel bad for the kid, who is also being turned into a monster.

[@MrJpaynebb]

They both did experience a loss but a death of a spouse will always outweigh a divorce. At least everyone knows where the nephew got is nasty mouth from.

[@deballen7031]

​@@MrJpaynebbThat's just what I was thinking, what hope would a kid have with a venomous mother such as OP's sister. 😮

[@spikesgirl9371]

I belong to a group for older single women. We just discuss challenges and laugh and drink wine. Two of us are widows and the others divorced. One dear friend finally turned to me and said at least your husband had the good sense to die. My jaw dropped but then I realized I lost my love due to illness and she lost hers to betrayal.

[@LisaApril]

Story one: the hatred sister-in-law feels toward the OP is tinged with so much jealousy that no relationship is possible. The brother is scum for not paying back his sister $42,000!

[@vanzy01]

💯👍🏿

[@jakeand9020]

Story 1: You felt like beggars because you were beggars. Story 2: Two days to get out? I MIGHT have given her two HOURS.

[@cornbread12987]

You got a man to stand with you. You have a family. Screw these other people

[@youarehere594]

She loaned them over 40k? That's more than me and my husband earn in a year and we can still somehow manage to survive. Poor SiL, OP actually demanded that they pay their own way instead of sponging off of OP. And you know that if the situation were reversed, SiL would absolutely not loan OP any money. Mom may be feeling the pinch with being their financial support which is why she's upset with OP, but that's her problem, not OPs. Hope OP cuts them out of the wedding and let everyone who asks know why and why SiL hates OP. See what sympathy card she gets to play out of that one.

[@greeneyelove2003]

I love that OP's fiancé totally had her back and wouldn't stand by and allow anyone to bully her, not even her family and for loving her enough to tell her she needed to stop accepting less than what she deserved to keep the peace. She has a good one it seems and her SIL is just a hateful, bitter person who thinks the world owes her something.

[@ces385]

The sister is reprehensible. She needs serious help. OP seems like a wonderful person.

[@thomasjoseph5876]

The OP is a schmuck and all her family knows it. That's why they are taking advantage of her by "borrowing" $42k with no mention of payback and then they all are guilt-tripping her and emotionally abusing her to get her back into line. She is simply an easy mark and if I were the OP's fiance, I would be having second thoughts about marrying her. She is the type that will do whatever it takes to not be considered "the bad guy" and if that means taking it away from her husband and kids to give to her mother or brother, so be it.

[@idamay4590]

I love how this is true for both

[@robertx8020]

Story one ... 1) Uninvite her to the bridal party 2) Uninvite her to the wedding 3) Uninvite her to your life.. by the way your mother is also an AH and clearly shows you that your SIL/brother is her golden SIL/golden child and you are NOTHING to for her! I bet your 'sister' is trying to sabotage your wedding! Btw OP's husband is a knight in shining armour (and a positive way) and he has a diamond spine laced with titanium!

[@mindyschocolate]

Uninvited both SIL, brother and mom from wedding. Imagine treating her like that after getting over $40k from OP. Dump the begging moochers. SIL can get a job. Enjoy the wedding.

[@lightwork11]

I do not trust the SIL but watch out for OP's mother. I wouldn't put it past her or the SIL to interfere with the wedding plans. Please password-protect your wedding decisions. If anyone had done these things to my daughter, I would be furious with that person.

[@poohbear4515]

I hate how parents can favor one child over the other just because they either had a hard birth, or whatever. It ruins the other child’s insecurities and makes them think they are never loved and weak like OP in this. She wanted to keep the friggen peace with SIL’s pathetic apology which made me very angry. Fiance has a gold spine, and I love him for that. Those three are just awful. Mommy favors, SIL is a bitch, and brother enables. GO NO CONTACT!

[@untitled-gv3qp]

Thank God for the fiancee. Can you imagine the nonsense she'd try and pull at the wedding if they didn't call her out on the fake apology? The OP needed that outside perspective there. I can't even be too mad at her because I know the mom probably brow beat the OP into accepting mistreatment like that all her life when it involves the brother.

[@pippo17173]

People who do this shouldn't be parents to begin with. The updates really tell me the brother is a door mat.

[@catsncrows]

Being the black sheep I've worked through enough of my own emotions to start to examine the role of the favored child and I'd not change places for anything. It doesn't produce a socially and financially functional adult

[@photoflo78]

I didn't see that update coming. I thought the SIL had it bad for OPs fiancé or severe jealousy of OP. Wow, the audacity 🤯

[@Mcyxof]

I wish OP could marry her fiancé twice. What a stand up guy! He's making sure she's getting what she deserves and won't let her settle

[@frozenheart7133]

I don’t know who needs to hear that but an apology has three components. Recognize, apologize, make it right. You should never accept an apology from someone that does not do all three.

[@Hiimreggie]

The mental gymnastics from op's mother

[@thomasjoseph5876]

I am willing to bet if the OP gave us other examples during her life we would see how the brother and mother have been fleecing the OP for years. She is desperate for their attention and they are making her literally pay for it. If I were the OP's fiance, I would be having second thoughts about marrying her as she will eventually take from him and their future children (adoption) if any to give to the mother and brother to pay for their attention and fake validation.

[@untitled-gv3qp]

​@@thomasjoseph5876I mean she already said enough when she said she gave them 40k and recieved nothing back from it.

[@indiashante1560]

Story 1: $42,000? Why in the hell didn't sister-in-law get a job at that point? Story 2: Sis is the damn devil. She'd be out my house too.

[@stevebanner5609]

OP I’m sorry you lost your wife, you have my deepest condolences. I lost a son at 4.5 months old and I can say that losing my child was the most traumatic and saddest moments of my life, I wish you and yours all the happiness in the world and I’m GLAD your toxic sis and nephew are gone. Lots of love ♥️♥️♥️

[@mikehilbert9349]

Widower story: Gosh, I wonder why the sister is divorced. I don't think there is any coming back from a statement like the sister made. NTA OP and go permanent NC with that piece of trash.

[@cb9825]

SIL never asked to be a bridesmaid, it was the mother who thought it was a good idea to bring them all closer. In SIL's entitled mind it was a slap in the face because during the wedding planning OP "flaunted" expensive pretty dresses, makeup appointments, etc. in front of her while refusing to loan them money. The hatred SIL already felt got 10 times stronger.

[@Callimo]

And then that led to the passive aggressive sabotage to the outright sabotage. SiL absolutely needs intense therapy.

[@ynmonroe]

Story 2: It's crazy to me that the sister tried to use her own life as an example for why OP should move on or whatever. I mean, she is literally living off of her brother. She has been living with OP for 6 months! That's a long time. How is she flourishing again? I sense shades of malignant narcissism from that one.

[@chinavaughan6383]

Story 1: I wouldn’t want this awful woman at my wedding. Who knows what she will do at your event!😟

[@Letha-AnnCooper]

Your sister in law did that to publicly embarrass you. Why the extra time at the makeup and hair appointment and the sabotage of the invitation. Your mom should be as mad at her as you OP

[@maxsupernova]

Story 1: Mother saying have some compassion? Where is the mother's compassion for the person who was wronged? Or does she only save compassion for the abuser, not the abused? Edit: I could see how someone who's willing to keep the peace, as OP is, could be taken for that kind of money. When the manipulators want to manipulate, they really know a) how to pick victims; and b) how to manipulate them into doing what they want. I know. I used to be OP. I've learned how to identify when people are seeking to take advantage, and how to toss that trash from my life.

[@Center-For-I.E.D.Mismanagement]

Story 1: So, OP's "mother" wants to be kicked out of the wedding *AND* permanently ostracized.

[@slippyquack7672]

Story 2: it's a wonder that none of the women on the wife's side of the family didn't start dog walking her and beating her face in. All that to say, NTA to the op. He has a hell of a lot more restraint than I do.

[@jamiejusthappenedtobehere2434]

The self control to not lose it in blind hatred is super human here

[@livewellwitheds6885]

story 1 is just infuriating me. this isnt abojt the SIL. why does op have to ignore all yhe ways she has been hurt just because of her moms request? thats BS. and 100% sabotage! also if the SIL is so sorry, why isn't she the one to apologize? its clear she isnt sorry.

[@angierucinski5694]

Final story: "We both lost our spouses". OP had no choice in his loss but I wonder why the sister lost hers? Actually, on this showing it's blindingly obvious why. The father should go for full custody & cut the other nonsense right out.

[@darthlukeskywalker]

I understand why the sister in story 2 is getting divorced

[@bjnboy]

Hey Markee, you know what I think would be cool? If you and Mark Narrations were to do a crossover video or two. A podcast would be cool with the two of you, and maybe even adding Lost Genre to the mix where you pick some stories, read them and do like a round table discussion where you express your thoughts and opinions on the matter while reading other perspectives from comments. I’d certainly subscribe.😁

[@strandedinseattle9931]

That would be too much Mark² for you, your head would implode from the awesome.

[@recycledapathy7411]

SIL: You won't let your brother borrow more money and expect to be paid back and it makes us feel like beggars. No, hon. Beggars aren't expected to pay money back that's given to them. If you don't want to feel like a beggar, stop begging.

[@hvymax]

SIL needs to be disinvited along with anyone who utters a word in support of her!!!

[@LordGertz]

SIl is trying to sabotage OP's wedding, OP's Mom is trying not to lose access to a grandchild.

[@TheMagicianOfGaming]

The fiancé in story 1 is an absolute W. I totally agree that that isnt an apology, he shouldnt just let her get away with the non apology.

[@Urrarg]

Story 2: OP was nice enough to give her 2 days, I'd have thrown her out at that second. What an absolute PoS.

[@izzisart]

Story 1: Moment i heard the SIL didn't get a big wedding and instead had courthouse one, my first thought was "she's jealous."

[@sequoyasierra5671]

Any apology that doesn't have personal accounting in it isn't an apology. Apologizing that it happened, is not the same as apologizing that I caused it to happen. The fiance was correct in not accepting that apology. It had no personal accounting involved in it. This is the same as causing a problem with someone and apologizing by saying "I am sorry you feel that way," which really means I am sorry you had a bad feeling but they are your feelings, you are the problem I am not the problem. Keep your feelings under control."

[@babytone54]

Story 2. Do not bite the hand that feeds you! 🤷🏾‍♀️🤦🏾‍♀️

[@quarkshark9388]

meh, if I am the dad in story 2 I am gonna dig it in that she is gonna be homeless

[@littlegreycat]

14:20 thanks for the update! I am glad she found out why the sister in law was a witch

[@becauselifts9913]

Ooh, Markie getting spicy and angry. Agreed in tone and answer!

[@robertx8020]

2nd story "I was the only one who would take her in./..I wonder why Who would nat help such a nice, caring, empathic woman in? And with such a nice kid? I'm afraid the rest of the family was just smarter than OP was ...sorry!

[@tigernotwoods914]

NTA however, if she is still banned from being in the bridal party, then you didn’t forgive her. That’s OK. She’s not entitled to your forgiveness and you’re not required to forgive her, but most people don’t understand what forgiveness is. Forgiveness is a second chance. Forgiveness is a fresh new slate. Now, that being said, I would ban her from the wedding all together, even as a guest.

[@gillydog4507]

Keep up the hard work Markee! I always get excited when you upload

[@AlexxeMJFAN]

Story 2... The sister is such a evil bully.. what's wrong with her for comparing her divorce and her own brother's deceased spouse and insulting him and her nephews?.. WHAT WAS SHE THINKING ??

[@sharyebethancourt3660]

That sister in story 2 is absolutely horrible, and that’s probably where her kid learned to be a hateful little POS. She’s lucky she had 2 days to leave. She’s also lucky OP didn’t blow up at her. I wonder why no one else wanted to take her in.

[@wyvern723]

SIL is awful, entitled and cruel.

[@mindyschocolate]

Wth was SIL thinking? And why is everything about HER feelings? She was the nasty one.

[@TheVeggiekat]

Story 2 sister’s ex should get full custody of nephew and sister only supervised visitation. Someone who could say something that vile at a child’s birthday party is seriously sub-human and is a danger emotionally and mentally to any child near her.

[@sharyebethancourt3660]

The fiancé is so good and is correct, OP was willing to accept less than what she deserves. The SIL is an entitled POS for her reasoning.

[@WaitingxInxSilence]

What asshole takes a picture of a “friend” ugly crying and then posts it!? The makeup appointment and the empty envelopes might /MIGHT/ have just been ineptitude, but taking that picture was openly malicious.

[@bonnie.f]

OP's fiancee is amazing.

[@ynmonroe]

Story 1: The thing is, if both the SIL and brother attended college, there is no way they legitimately need this much money from OP and her mom without their being a health issue involved. I mean, why isn't SIL working if they are this much in need? Why hasn't the brother tried for better jobs? I say tried because there are no guarantees. It just feels like they are both content with their situation; passing the buck to their relatives. Brother doesn't seem innocent to me. No he doesn't argue to OP's face, but I feel like he is simply better at hiding his entitlement. I mean, who could feel this comfortable with years of handouts that they don't pay down? Note: I am not disparaging the need. I am talking about how freely he seems to expect his mother and sister to fill the gaps, as opposed to fixing whatever is causing the seemingly endless need in the first place.

[@rhondasisco-cleveland2665]

Sister was defending son became he was repeating what SHE SAID TO HIM. Duh

[@boneymeroney2674]

I had to back up and several times over...did she loan our how much $ ? Did I hear .... WTF?

[@untitled-gv3qp]

And that snake was mad that she didn't get MORE of SOMEONE ELSE'S money? like, WHAT?!? The utter audacity.

[@WaitingxInxSilence]

What did they spend several dollars on??? How many kids do they have? SIL should find some kind of income instead of demanding more from other people.

[@bridgetdebourgh5698]

Hey Markee 👋 Have a great weekend 👍 Have a great day/night everyone and enjoy your weekend 👋🤗

[@hvymax]

So Brother and SIL are nothing but jealous beggars.

[@TheMelbox68]

in the first story I would bet money that the sil is threatening the mother that if she goes against them they will keep the grand kids away from her. She seems like the type to do that. What an awful person sil is. She's petty and def jealous over the wedding. They should have never started borrowing if they didn't want to pay back. I had borrowed about 10k from my son and you know what I did. I paid back every cent of that 10k. Every penny he got back. Can't do anyone like that especially family

[@SCUBASUEReynard]

Who the heck puts no invite in the wedding invitation.stamp it and mail it. She s trying to to destroy your wedding and make her brother not marry you.

[@leighnisbett9691]

S2, Op you are not wrong in kicking out your sister and nephew ,she insulted you,your children ,your in-laws and your deceased wife in one sentence and you are doubting yourself ,Op you are behaving like a doormat . Op your sister needs to learn and understand that actions have consequences for the people who do them and her being made homeless is a consequence of their actions .NTA Op if your parents object they or another family member can take them in .

[@stevebanner5609]

I heard this story yesterday but you narrate it better Markee-that’s why I listened to it again lol…

[@sarahclapp505]

Story 2 OP ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ you are a great Dad and mum ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️I am sooo glad you kicked that woman and kid out

[@sequoyasierra5671]

BAD SISTER OP says he is the only one who would take his sister in. Gee, I wonder why he is the only one.

[@sharifaa.8887]

😮 ooooh - Markee lost his temper!

[@MildredCady]

Story 2: I wonder if the nephew/cousin got the “I am better because I have a mom” idea from his mom/OPs sister. I hope the Sister’s ex is a better parent than she is.

[@user-ir9nm3we1d]

SIL took joy in that Bride OP's misery

[@deballen7031]

Holy moly, Christ on a bike! This is a whole hotbed of insanity all grouped together. I need to take a few minutes to take a lot of what was just read. 🤯

[@rubymeaddle]

It would never occur to me to post the bride's dress fitting

[@east-endjustice7883]

Id definitely do some super shady tactics to cripple that sils quality of life lol. Like the things im empathizing are super shady! Hahahahaha

[@sarahclapp505]

Story 2 update glad the kid is with his dad that woman

[@telinhajp]

Good night, Markee! Wishing you a Happy Sunday!　 おやすみ！ ❤️🤗

[@oshbaaya]

Markee sounds so cool story 1 like WOW.. like take names 🤯

[@maheenahmed6653]

NTA for story 2: did her husband commit X because she’s so awful? I’ll bet that’s it

[@LordGertz]

Now we know why she's divorced.

[@DisneyChar]

S1 nta. She should have been out of the wedding after the wedding invite prank. S2 nta, she's lucky she had more than 5 minutes to pack

[@jemase7931]

Screws up the invitations. Is difficult with the hair dresser. Posts that pic in the wedding dress. Who does that? Mother is trying for forgiveness because she wants access to her grandchildren. Blast SIL's actions on FB and ask for that money back. SIL can get a job to help pay it back.

[@Artem2034]

Story 2, excuse my French, but the audacity of that b**** to compare her brother losing his wife to her getting divorced, among other things. Honestly, OP is better than I. I'd have told her right then and there that she and her goblin spawn should leave, immediately. It'd seriously require every fiber of my being not to slap her for that. Blame me not believing in violence solving anything, unless it's directly threatening mine or someone else's health/life. I'm not surprised that someone with such a lack of empathy and compassion is getting divorced.

[@maxinemyers9215]

Thanks for the comments Markee 💐

[@nahbruh2613]

What TRASH mother stands up for the IN-LAW???

[@luizad2277]

Story 1: Markee and Mark Narations did the same story again That entitled See U Next Tuesday SIL should get off her lazy ass and go to work instead of feeling entitled to OP money

[@GLoLChibs]

This all happened in the span of 3 days? Calling bs.

[@cl5470]

SIL is ridiculous, but so is hiring a literal stylist months before a wedding because you think everyone has to look perfect. It's a party that lasts a few hours. What a waste of money. But SIL is still an ahole. I just can't imagine spending tons of cash to make my closest friends feel ugly and like they need a stylist to be seen in my wedding photos. Yikes, people are becoming so shallow due to social media.

[@vetaroberts3333]

Nta,

[@merakiabomination593]

Mark please stop doing "They gave the following for why" and just read it with the rest of the post

[@kiraalexandraruizburgos1236]

🦐

[@jonswa]

Sadly, in story one, it keeps going downhill First, cutting the SIL out of the wedding party, perfectly fine. She betrayed OP's trust. That's fine and a normal reaction. However, the events afterwards are worse. Obviously SIL should apologize, but OP seems to be used to being a doormat. She keeps trying to please them. Her fiancé then decided what OP deserves in a term of an apology. This seems like a good thing at first, as reddit users don't think long term. He's saying she deserves more. The problem is, what she deserves should be up to OP, not the fiancé. The fiancé is controlling and manipulating her. This is the start of him telling OP what she deserves and doesn't deserve. This isn't a good thing. It's common for manipulators to act like they are on your side to isolate you from friends and family. Then once you trust them, they slowly destroy your confidence. You begin to trust them and follow them blindly. Since OP let her fiancé decide what she deserves, then when he tells her she doesn't deserve something, will she accept that? If she does, she's now completely his. Don't think this is a valid take? It happens a lot and there are plenty of reddit stories with this happening. Also, at the end, it seems OP is being cut off from her family. The plan is working. If OP and her fiancé have kids, will OP be forced to quit her lucrative job to be a SAHM? We'll see. Hopefully not, but in a couple years, maybe we'll see an update.

[@untitled-gv3qp]

This isn't a case of controlling behavior, this is the fiancee protecting the both of them since the OP was conditioned to think that she should settle for less when it concerns her family. The SIL was actively trying to sabotage and shame them for not funding her lifestyle and the mother and brother are enabling it because they don't care about the OP. It's okay to cut people out of your life when they show that you mean nothing to them. And it was the OPs choice to do so after she heard her SILs confession about why she went out of her way to attack the OP. Even if she needed help those aren't the type of people she can or should rely on.

[@jaredstar]

I'll be honest everything else i I can't imagine getting that emotional over a damn dress one way or another It just feels so damn stupid

[@damaramcelrath-fatherree9732]

Story #1 Updates: OP, it is clear you are use to not being giving your value of worthy treatment, and this is why you are allowing for your SIL to not give you a proper apology. Then this hatred over you refusing to support your brother, family & their lifestyle, because you have the financial funding.....LMAO. You know damn well that your brother is doing everything his wife desires of him to do, and your mother is supporting everything that her son wants. So now you must allow your husband to take care of you, and go No Contact and/or Very Low Contact, but DON'T EVER AGAIN give any money to your brother NO MATTER WHAT. If it comes down to it about the children....you take them to court, and take custody of them. DON'T GIVE YOUR MOTHER MONEY! You directly pay for it yourself, but first you investigate that it is ONLY FOR HER. There is no more trust.

[@greeneyelove2003]

I love that OP's fiancé totally had her back and wouldn't stand by and allow anyone to bully her, not even her family and for loving her enough to tell her she needed to stop accepting less than what she deserved to keep the peace. She has a good one it seems and her SIL is just a hateful, bitter person who thinks the world owes her something.

[@greeneyelove2003]

I love that OP's fiancé totally had her back and wouldn't stand by and allow anyone to bully her, not even her family and for loving her enough to tell her she needed to stop accepting less than what she deserved to keep the peace. She has a good one it seems and her SIL is just a hateful, bitter person who thinks the world owes her something.