r/AmITheA**Hole For Talking About Finances At Work?

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#AITA #Family #Parenting

[@adrienneb.4710]

Cane story. You are not responsible for your dad's death. You were 5 years old playing and should have been properly supervised by your parents to protect you. Your mom refused to call an ambulance to take you to the hospital which would have been quicker and safer given the space traffic is required to give ambulances. Your mother probably feels her own guilt for that but pushes it on you to feel better. Five year olds are uncoordinated canon balls with bad decision making skills because they are still learning how to exist in the world and they get bumps, bruises, and sometimes breaks in the course of their development. Your mom is a narcissistic, abusive woman who is using you as her emotional punching bag because she can't cope with not being perfect and right all the time.

[@maxerocks]

I agree

[@tomdean1876]

I've met female dogs that were less of a bitch than her. If I was OP, I would take a shit on her grave on she dies.

[@willj24]

Absolutely this. It broke my heart that the mother has been repeating that it was OPs fault so much that OP has internalized it and doesn't even question that it's their fault. OPs mother refused to call an ambulance. OP got hurt, which is a natural thing that happens to children sometimes. Neither of these are OP's fault. There was a car accident. That almost certainly wasn't OP's fault. It's so abusive of the mother to constantly harp on how it was OP's fault, and just amazingly tragic that OP had bought into that so much, they can't even consider objecting to the blame.

[@Ando1428]

@@willj24 i hope she isn't theistic to any religion that has a hell because i can't see her going to any of the good places. i mean that poor husband watching her mentally abuse their kid must be rolling in his grave. at least the grandparents will make a good set of parents while the mom is getting her shit together.

[@arianebolt1575]

@@willj24 If this is in the US, I can't actually blame the mom for not calling an ambulance. They're expensive as heck. If they thought OP's condition wasn't that bad, having someone drive her makes total sense. It was just an accident. Blaming the dead dad or the other driver (depending on the specific circumstances of the accident) makes more sense. It doesn't, in the end, matter why he was driving at that specific moment.

[@jellysquid8077]

It sounds to me like the mom has been blaming OP for her father's death is a twisted coping mechanism to avoid blaming herself internally for demanding her husband drive.

[@srkh8966]

And the stepdad calling her a black widow-this is abuse

[@raz7573]

The next time either of them blame OP, she should tell them it’s the mother’s fault because she was too cheap to call an ambulance.

[@WardenSpectreCommander]

The story with the kid walking with a cane has me beyond 🤬 furious‼‼ They have that child believing it was her fault. I get pissed every time she blames herself. If I was the grandparents other child. I would wake up and choose literal violence on these parents. They have this child convinced she was at fault. I'm steamed at this.

[@srkh8966]

it’s abuse, plain and simple

[@alyonaf1054]

Yes, and the saddest thing is, she is still adamant about it even after so many people pointed out that if anyone it had been her mother's fault for not calling the ambulance. So much gaslighting and manipulation at a young age fueled by the grief for her late father, this girl's soul is ruined. This is a CPS case for sure. She should realise, I hope she will, that everything that's ever happened in her life, is her wretched mother's fault. What an evil bitch that woman is, I will never come to terms with such demonic people existing on this planet.

[@marshmellowtimez8360]

That child was conditioned HARD, I would've turned into a serial killer if I lived that life

[@Little_Lepus]

SAME. Unless you deliberately hurt somebody, you are NOT at fault for someone's death. Blaming yourself because someone died is the most toxic thing you can do to yourself!

[@TheCreativeCommoner]

Came here looking for this and completely agree. I really wish at some point OP turned that argument back on the mom by saying that the father died because the mom was too cheap to pay for an ambulance!

[@Victoria-pr4xe]

For the story where the teenager was calling everything creepy, just tell her to "find a better word" any time she says creepy. Force her to get a vocabulary for expressing her discomfort instead of stopping her from talking about it

[@drea4195]

Good take. I also thought OP should require her to justify using "creepy", or find an alternate word. Such as "You called the neighbor creepy. If you mean that literally, explain it to me in detail. If not, find the better word so you can be accurate".

[@staylor3483]

For OP in Maine: the grandparents should sue for custody based on extreme emotional and physical abuse. Once they have custody, the mom would have to pay child support and be forced to pay for therapy for the abuse the child has suffered.

[@Ando1428]

yeah shed deserve that. holy hell she thinks she caused her dads death and has been reinforcing that. fuck that mom with a red hot poker. on a side note though that mom needs major therapy for thinking its ok to emotionally destroy her daughter.

[@Cynnas]

Sue? 🤣🤣🤣

[@MelJW2]

@@Cynnas What's wrong with that? The grandparents should 100% sue that mother. They would definitely win.

[@kirstenornelas881]

@@Cynnas “sue for custody” is simply a turn of phrase used in some areas that simply means they take the parent to court to win custody of the child/ child support is often included i in gaining custody in some states at least. Like in our state if the children are on the state health care coverage the court automatically adds child support into the final judgment of custody. The person asking for custody can also file for the max child support benefits while generally the court simply awards the minimum child support if the party filing for custody doesn’t file for insurance but, again, the child has the state health insurance coverage.

[@jeannemclaughlin7978]

@@Cynnas Yes.

[@justasmalltowngirllivingin8453]

The creepy one. To spin it ....if you call everything creepy people are going to ignore her when something is truly creepy. Have her use her other words. I think the dad is just sick of hearing her say the word.

[@mywingsareyours]

Agreed, and I was someone who was once a young girl who was uncomfy with things lol

[@krystalfloods6197]

There’s nothing wrong with having a favorite niece or nephew. I think the people in the comments were too harsh. Especially after finding out in that update how the one niece treats her sister! That niece did not want to have a relationship with her aunt so she shouldn’t throw a fit when her cousin, who does have a relationship with the aunt, gets something. None of this was OP‘s fault.

[@colleencook382]

Omg I thought I was losing my mind hearing all the YTA judgements. This is exactly what I was thinking. The girls are both adults not little kids. Jane has done nothing to build that bond with OP so I completely understand why she chose the dress. Ffs they dont have to be treated equally once they are grown up! She is still buying a present for Jane. Geez! Mary and Jane are acting like spoiled and entitled brats. As evidenced by that online post. Y'all are freaking crazy. Mary started this crap and you can see that apple didn't fall far from the *itchy tree.

[@krystalfloods6197]

@@colleencook382 exactly! My sister is closer to my nephew than my kids since my brother passed and I completely understand! I don’t expect my kids to be treated the same!

[@cedricpeace4804]

This 1000 times. Honestly I stopped watching these types of videos a year ago and I forgot why, but this AITA post made me remember why. The comments and people on reddit in general are in such an echo chamber they seem to be either unwilling to look at it from others perspectives or stuck in their own reality. Hearing the one commenter actually realize that Mary was totally in the wrong for this gave me hope but still. Anyone with a reasonable head on the shoulders should understand that what Mary did (telling Jane about the gift) was especially spiteful and full of ill intent for OP and hoping for a negative reaction. Any mother who cares about their child's feelings would have spoken to op in private about the gift if it truly bothered her that much. Seems like Mary has an issue with it more than Jane in the first place.

[@shadowrosegaming3566]

"Oh I'm showing favouritism how often does Jane actually spend any length of time with me compared to Jessica?" Would be my response

[@cuppatea2152]

I would argue how much effort did the aunt put into participating in activities Jane liked. Because it sounds like that's where some of the problems lie. Why would you want to hang out with someone who will only ever do what they like, but never something you're interested in? I wouldn't want to hang out with the aunt either if I were Jane since the aunt only wanted to drag Jane along in her favourite activities, and none of Jane's. Jane taking the issue out on Jessica was not right, I agree about this. The issue, however started because of how little effort the aunt put in when the girls were growing up.

[@smallblueangel]

The story with the cane shows how horrible the American healcare system is. The father died because Ambulances costs money. OP is afraid to ask for therapy because its to expensive. Horrible

[@danrossell6375]

Dad died because mom was an a-hole about calling an ambulance, not because of OP!!! What a rotten parent for placing the blame on her child for her foolishness. Stepdad is a major a-hole for using her cane as a scavenger hunt item, that should be off limits! What does this teach the siblings?

[@shadowrosegaming3566]

@@danrossell6375 "hey that person has crutches and a clearly broken leg let's take them and hide them"

[@AlyseA1689]

I completely agree with this but I also think the mom is just an abusive person and not allowing an ambulance was her way of “teaching OP a lesson” and when the accident happened she blamed OP vs getting her help when she most definitely needed it because that is completely traumatizing and even without a POS mother blaming her she probably would have felt some sort of blame. I can’t imagine making my child believe he is the cause of anyone passing. I seriously pray OP gets help and goes no contact with her mom and SD. What atrocious people.

[@lorifiedler13]

All those thoughts stem from her mom's abuse.

[@judelbugsrutter6727]

Oh her family made me so 😡 at least she has great parents

[@kmbaldwin5325]

The daughters overuse of the word “creepy” reminds me of the “stop trying to make fetch happen” scene from Mean Girls. Hang in there dad, she’ll be over this “everything/everyone is creepy” phase eventually! 😂

[@rsmith6425]

Haha right? My little sister and her best friend went through a 'god damnit' phase at about five which created some awkward situations but looking back on it is hilarious

[@2muchzen]

True, but teach her to say it to the right person, it can trigger a real creep.

[@Little_Lepus]

Idk, the pledge of allegiance is pretty freaking weird. She ain't 100% wrong.

[@OuchingTigerLimpingDragon]

I thought there was a glitch in the Matrix for a sec when Markee paused/restarted after flubbing a word. Thank goodness it was just the power of his new, suave haircut overpowering him for a moment.

[@camwyn256]

Changing diapers on a restaurant table. Yeah. That’s a health code violation that could get the restaurant fined and shut down

[@judelbugsrutter6727]

💯I couldn’t believe that man had the audacity to do that they’d then react the way they did when called out🤮 he has issues and should be addressing them before he even thinks about adopting. The infantilism of his wife when arguing also 😡

[@jeriko_studios]

That was so gross to hear, dunno have relevant it is, but recently I've gotten my food manager's certificate, so for three years now a lot of cleaning things have been all but drilled into my brain and when Markee read that sentence out my face shriveled up

[@shawnmccarty6923]

Nope they just need to ensure the table gets cleaned properly

[@camwyn256]

@@shawnmccarty6923 clearly you don't know health code or health inspectors. Health inspectors would shutdown the restaurant immediately

[@jeriko_studios]

@@shawnmccarty6923 yes, but that interrupts business, and it can also completely shut down a table if the baby pisses or shits anywhere on the table, which is really bad especially with rush hours

[@ZombieSazza]

Body hair sister literally asked for an honest opinion, and OP very kindly let her sister know she was catfishing and again, kindly, told her sister that her photos are out of date. Her sister is reacting emotionally and going the complete wrong way about this, claiming her sister is “unsupportive” and “misogynistic” instead of acknowledging that she’s lying to people. She asked for honesty, she received kind, gentle honesty, she just doesn’t want to actually hear the truth.

[@bluejaywoman3421]

Tiger-stripes: She is trying to change how she feels about her body, she does not feel that her body is ruined. She is admitting that it is changed. He sounds like he thinks her body is ruined. No wonder she has had to go on this journey to feel better about her body.

[@crescentmoon5859]

True also stretch marks fade and it's normal to have trouble getting back to your old fitness routine when you have a baby or tolder its normal to slowly get back into shape and maybe not be supermodel looking anymore. If you wanted her to stay the same weight and not getnormallyl reasonable stretch marks then adopt a kid.

[@sharonconnolly3820]

OP yes she dropped the ball and chose not to get back in shape. She is okay being lazy and coasting and is being rewarded for it. The bashing you are getting is why there are so many divorced women with young children. Just stay healthy and take care of yourself, if she manages to not to become paranoid before dying because of poor health practices you may have a good life together. Or you will need to be in shopping shape.

[@bessevaraven859]

She's not trying to feel better about her body. She's choosen to stop being healthy and do any reasonable workouts. While shaming and blaming her kids for running her body. Then she goes and gets glory points online for bad choices....he is NOT the a*$hole. She needs to get back to adult ingredients and make reasonable health choices and slowly get herself in a healthier shape. She doesn't need to be probably shape but healthy. Better for her future and for her kids future

[@lilmisskristy5467]

She still works out, but not as much she as kids to care for. It's hard taking care of baby's and to work out.

[@rubymeaddle]

@@bessevaraven859 no where does she blame her children. She's probably doing the bulk of the childcare while her meathead husband does nothing.

[@TarisLuna]

Dress-Story: When I was a teenager my grandma put aside the money she would spend on gifts and went shopping with me for my birthday, with said money. She did so because she didn't know what I might like and this way I could choose what I want. We always made it a whole day and some years I sleeped over at her place for a few days. We made so many memories and had a lot of fun.

[@staylor3483]

My grandmother would start conversations with "Now tell me the truth..." I never lied to her no matter what anyone told me..

[@Slithery]

That 12 YO with her own language is doing great! That sort of thing can get you an A* in an EPQ here in the UK, which is completed by 17-19 year olds. I know that because a guy two years above me did it and got full marks, he made his own conjugations and syntaxes but I don’t know if he played around with suffixes. It’s wonderful that she found something she’s passionate about, good for her.

[@grantkilbourne4573]

I’m a home health care worker of 25 years. My company sent me to a special needs client and the mother expected me to do nursing duties (illegal). She clearly wanted a nurse on the cheap. I contacted the agency and they removed me from the case.

[@vzburns1]

My son was heading in the same direction as the prodigy brother when he was that age. Not to that extent but heading there. Looking down on people for not being as smart as he was... I sat him down one day and explained to him that yes he was very VERY smart but that every person he will ever meet in his life knows something that he doesn't and he can learn from them. We talked about it a bit because I wanted to make sure he understood what I was getting at. My mother told me, "YOU'RE NOT AS SMART AS YOU THINK YOU ARE!" (Surprise, I really was because I didn't think I was smarter than anyone else) but that comment from her really made me think I was stupid and I did NOT want my son to think that's what I was saying. After that, his attitude went back to his normal loving self.

[@stargazerkawaii]

The aditude that poor people are poor because they don't work hard. They are failures who just cry and don't deserve respect or a living wage. Do they not realize that not everyone can have a high paying job? Like, really a hospital wouldn't run if there weren't people to clean it. All of these low paying jobs are essential and someone has to do them.

[@rollothecat2010]

I agree. And these workers should be treated with respect though they sometimes are not.

[@mothertrucker936]

CANE story : NTA op this is child abuse. Your grandparents know and have acted accordingly. I can’t believe your mom accused you of causing your fathers death. Dear God, you poor child. Do not feel guilty and block your mother and anyone else trying to make you feel horrible. Your instincts told you to get out of this situation and your instincts were 100% spot on. Best life to you op

[@tegantalks9612]

52:05: NTA! My husband is a stay at home dad and I work and I would never dream of joking in a way that puts him down or diminishes his accomplishments. I praise him so much for all he does to anyone and everyone who will listen because I appreciate what he does. I think the only joke I’ve made about him staying home is that he’s a better housewife than me lol

[@jeannemclaughlin7978]

Husband should show wife what life would be like if he actually behaved the way she said he does. Just for a few days. Bet she'd change her "joking" ways.

[@tegantalks9612]

@@jeannemclaughlin7978 heck yeah! I hate all these outdated gender role jokes. Men can do housework and women can be the breadwinner.

[@Pokemonlover-zs9tb]

Regarding the stay at home Dad. This hit a sore spot with me. Back in the 80's my job moved to a different city. I had a better job (higher income and benefits) so my husband quit his job and we moved. He stayed home to take care of our 2 month old & 2 year old. He did everything and probably more than I would have done if I had been the one to stay home. I ALWAYS had his back if anyone started giving him attitude about being a stay at home Dad. Interesting that when my brother-in-law would start talking smack about sister just sitting around all day and eating bonbons (which she most definitely did not do), my sister, my husband and I all joined in to let him know how wrong he was. He never figured it out till my sister left his sorry A#$.

[@Nursern1974]

OP NTA thank God for your grandparents. Her own parents see her as abusive. The “black widow”?!?!? I hope they will pursue legally getting you out of this abusive situation. Prayers that you get the help and love you deserves

[@Vipre-]

41:40 That sister is something else. "A little body hair doesn't make that much of a difference" and "The right person won't mind a little hair" "You're right, so update your profile picture" "OMG HOW DARE YOU!" 1:12:51 I disagree here, banning the word "creepy" is not "taking away her ability to say she's uncomfortable with something", she can literally say, "X makes/made me uncomfortable." There are endless ways to express this which don't resort to name calling and are more helpful. Ban the word, buy the Thesaurus. 1:16:31 There are very few photos of me after some now long ago age, I just don't like having my picture taken. The most recent might be five years ago not counting the one of my back in the background of a photo at my father's funeral last year. Sucks to be her for now regretting her decision but it is what it is.

[@bg6b7bft]

I don't understand why you can't have a favorite niece.

[@chloecook4511]

I have a favorite niece and, now, favorite great nieces. But even at their ages of mid 50's ( the nieces, not the great nieces) I still spend roughly the same amount for their birthday and holiday gifts. I don't love my favorite niece more; it is just that we have more in common and similar hobbies.

[@LadyLeomon]

Title Story - NTA, they were being elitist arseholes and felt bad when it was called out (also the “well we could help you apply for that” thing? I’d have given that chick a cold stare that could freeze a Magcargo in place!) 😤😤😤 Thanks for the new vid Markee 💙🐱💙

[@tegantalks9612]

100:00- YTA! I’m a mom of 3 kids and one thing I’ve learned is that since kids my body is not the same as it was before. I swam before, during, and after my pregnancies and my post pregnancy times are slower than my pre-pregnancy times by a significant amount due to my body changing. I also don’t have the same amount of time to dedicate to working out now because of my children. One thing I’ve learned to do is embrace the body I have and be appreciative that my body was able to carry 3 healthy children to term and deliver them safely. The person in the story had what would be considered a geriatric pregnancy so carrying those kids to term and delivering them is even more difficult than it was for me being in my 20s delivering babies. OP doesn’t seem to appreciate his fiancé and all she has gone through being a woman over 40 being able to carry 2 babies to term. If I struggled in my 20s to get back to my pre-pregnancy fitness level, I can’t imagine doing it in my 40s!

[@mothertrucker936]

PCO sister: NTA your entire family is gaslighting you cause they don’t want to deal with this. Fact is you’re absolutely right and have been sensitive. There is so much misrepresentation online and your sister is actually ashamed of herself and incredibly hypocritical. She posts about honesty and body hair being beautiful buuuuuut won’t use a current photo hmmmm yeah...liar to herself and to others yet it’s shame on everyone else.

[@Yllania]

Im laughing so much. Next time I see someone with a beard in a photo and they show up clean shaven Im yelling at them for "gaslighting" and 'catfishing" me. She should update her pictures so this wont be an issue but yall trying to make it out so shes abusive sound so fuckign funny.

[@jinga9862]

​@Yllania OP: "You should update your pictures because you've visually changed from the time they were taken" Sister: "SO YOU THINK I'M FAT AND UGLY AND GROSS? EVERYONE! MY OWN SISTER HATES ME SO FUCKING MUCH BECAUSE SHE THINKS I'M HORRENDOUSLY UGLY!"

[@bluejaywoman3421]

Working mom with the work at home spouse. She is trying to deflect her insecurities by 'joking'. She needs to 1: If she is embarrassed by what he said, how does she think he feels, by what she said. 2: Get over her insecurities.

[@sharonconnolly3820]

She needs to be careful or she won't be seen doing anything, daddy and baby will decide to prove you are not needed because she didn't appreciate what he was trying to do for her

[@GrumpyOldFart2]

That’s what I was thinking. She’s using Op as an outlet for her self induced guilt. She might have a career, but still bears some emotional weight that a “proper” mom is supposed to be doing the majority of “mom duties “. So instead, she’s displaying herself as the Super Mom, one who can, as the saying goes, “bring home the bacon and then fry it up in the pan”. (That’s a line from a country song); she’s a primary provider AND a “real “ mom. They need to have a sit down and delve into the WHY of things.

[@judelbugsrutter6727]

Omg that last post, I’m glad other commenters called out Mary. Yes the price disparity of the gifts was problem but could have been solved by saying "I went a little overboard this year with your cousins gift next year it’s your turn (or Birthday) and pick a nephew for the year after"… My grandmother bought my cousin an instrument she needed and was worried about favouring one over the others, giving each of us the same amount. I was given a choice but before I could think it through, mum Decided for me that I was getting a sewing machine (I’d asked for a typewriter, like a day or so later) I really REALLY tried to like the SM but it was not something I had affinity with, it was such a waste and I was blamed for being "ungrateful". So I do really believe that equality is not about everyone getting the same, but getting what they need. Mary was stirring the pot there and really started more drama than there needed to be. She needs to apologise and be a better mother, wife and sil

[@fibienn250]

But can’t the kids simply use the phrase “That makes me feel uncomfortable”? The wife is right that kids need to be comfortable about expressing discomfort with people or situations but the word creepy isn’t the only word in the dictionary. Apart from that, the way she uses creepy is judgemental not expressive. eg: the man is judged as creepy (in the wrong) for tracking cars when he is probably someone demonstrating an OCD or autistic trait. Pledging to the flag is creepy rather than that doesn’t understand the emotion or symbolism behind the choice.

[@devorothknight4420]

Yeah, banning words is usually an unhealthy boundary- would be way better to define the word for the younger ones and call them out for using it (any word) incorrectly/inappropriately. Insist the 15 year old elaborate on why each situation is "creepy" and then discuss why it is/isn't and explain the different perspectives. "Yes, old man Jenkins tracking neighborhood cars does seem creepy, but his vigilance from his POV might be a habit from military service/childhood trauma/ police service/ or something like that. From ((dads)) POV it's nice to have someone watching over the community in case of burglars/kidnappers/ other unsavory people; it makes the community safer." But it's ok for you to keep your distance if he makes you uncomfortable.

[@rollothecat2010]

Some people grow up within families where the number of words used daily is far fewer than other people. They grow up with an impoverished vocabulary. If they grew up in an area with bad public schools, they probably are not learning an expanded vocabulary at school either. A larger vocabulary is a plus in life. Unfortunately, not everyone is fortunate enough to grow up in an environment with a good larger vocabulary.

[@hel117]

tbh she's right about the pledge of allegiance, it's a very weird and outdated practice lol

[@sharonconnolly3820]

@@hel117 your right pledging allegiance.eans you recognize freedom, community, support, consideration, patriotism, equality, citizenship etc....... Americans are giving up their rights and privilege. I taught my son to not follow someone who doesn't have a brain.

[@austinbuscaglia8705]

The audacity to change it on a dining table in a RESTAURANT oh my goddess that sweet summer child.

[@inichan8786]

Story about pictures: I find it interessting how everyone kept going as if there were many pictures, just not displayed and glossed over the part where the Parents due to not wanting to force their daughter let her be and there is a big agegap with literally NO PICTURES IN EXISTANCE since none were TAKEN. The silly ones were the mandatory tried family pictures early on. There is a huge gap daughter in fact caused herself and is now upset about as well? What were they supposed to do? Force her on the off chance she wants them later and be greatful? Isn't that also how OPs on reddit are born?

[@juliearaiza3465]

I once told some coworkers "what idiot thought the was good idea " to the idiot. Oops I for a Penn in for a pound. A proceeded to state reasons why idea was stupid and mostly redundant. My bad

[@krystalfloods6197]

That lady had to know about her friends kids so I don’t get why she didn’t tell the babysitter? Of course the lady herself should’ve told her during that phone call.

[@Phoenixrising1925]

They didn’t tell the babysitter ahead of time because they didn’t want to pay her the rate she deserved to care for her.

[@rubymeaddle]

She wrongfully assumed her friend would disclose, hence why she took OP's side

[@kathleenmayhorne3183]

You were spot on, they all needed a reality check, like the australian politician who went off about how it's unfair to cut off the australian government's "first home-buyer's grant," for people who buy their first home, at a million dollars worth. There are no guarantees even if you do get three degrees, that you'll get paid mega bucks or even get your dream job. They need to find out just how privileged they all are. You are not unusual in the overall population, they are.

[@WhiteoutMonster]

that first story really pissed me off. I'm a Truck driver, and at this rate I will NEVER own an actual HOUSE.

[@freecountry3544]

"I feel uncomfortable around the neighbour who always sais hello" Is more accurate than stating "they're creepy".

[@lorifiedler13]

OP with cane - the fact that grandma yelled at daughter for what was happening shows how bad it really is.

[@tomdean1876]

My boy Markee looking fresh with the new haircut.

[@colleencook382]

OP cane story-also her mother is probably receiving Survivors Benefit for op. Need to tell Granparentsvto check into what money mom is getting for her as there was probably also an insurance settlement from the accident.

[@cynicalminion]

just banning "creepy" is not the way to go about it. i WOULD, however, stress the interpretation that often gets attached to that word, and phrase the "ban" in the terms of "make sure that's what you mean before that's what you say". this both reinforces that your kids should speak up if they're uncomfortable, but ALSO keeps a limit on potentially hurtful terminology. especially as you mentioned a kid having "favorite words" for things, going beyond "don't say that" to "this is WHY you shouldn't say that unless you really mean it" will likely end up with your kids finding a new favorite word for things...

[@Frazzled_Chameleon]

So the wife will be fine if her daughter starts calling HER and referring to her as creepy, then? I’m sure she won’t be so happy about it if that ever happens. “But darling, she’s just expressing her discomfort with you. You wouldn’t want her feelings to be censored now, would you?”

[@geraldgrenier8132]

ESH over the creepy post. Especially the commentators, even the commentor that hesitantly pointing some of the things she calling creepy is just pure rude, never once acknowledging that OP had a point that the kids are learning it ok to be downright rude to call everything they dislike is creepy. Dad overreact by banning it, But the kid really do need to know not liking something and finding something creepy are on different levels

[@mrychards6682]

Exactly. Sounds like they are getting a free pass on slapping a rude label on anything they don't like. They may need encouragement to verbalize why something strikes them as creepy so they can learn to distinguish their personal dislikes from someone who makes them genuinely uncomfortable and needs to be avoided.

[@kmbaldwin5325]

As someone with 3 young kids and a long history in childcare, I completely understand where the dad is coming from. Does the word need to be banned completely? No, however mom is also going a bit far. Not being allowed to say the word “creepy” is not putting the daughter in danger, or teaching her that she has to just put up with things that are genuinely “creepy”. I agree with the comment suggesting that the daughter just needs access to a thesaurus to expand her vocabulary. She can express, and better differentiate between her discomforts or dislikes with something besides slapping the label of “creepy” on everything.

[@shadowrosegaming3566]

Hell he only banned after his sons started using it as an insult all the time without knowing what the word meant because their sister used the word alot

[@bosiagan]

This. None of the stuff op listed would classify as "creepy"in my book. Neighbor counting cars is what I classify as weird or odd. But he isnt harming anyone with it (as far as anyone knows), and tiktok is used by everyone, my parents binge the content on their for cheap facebook laughs. Definitely didnt meed to ban the word, but having a discussion about it with the kids about proper use of words would be helpful. His wife is out of line saying it's being dangerous. There are so many more words to use besides creepy to describe stuff you arent comfortable with.

[@ultimatewolfexists2378]

Yeah, those comments really urked me, 90% of the stuff she listed weren't creepy, and acting like it's ok to be rude is just wrong.

[@TeaOli]

ThrowRACaneGirl’s story broke my heart! What horrible, abusive parents she had!

[@driversuz44]

"Creepy" is ridiculously overused, which in itself diminishes its meaning. It's been years since I've taken the word seriously, as it's no longer reserved for people and situations which absolutely should be addressed. Cry wolf. OP is not asking his daughter to not express her discomfort over potentially bad situations. OP is appropriately asking her to differentiate between things that are worthy of concern, and things she merely dislikes. Everybody in the post who criticizes OP for discouraging her from expressing herself, is being dishonest. OP is indeed encouraging her to express herself, but with a level of accuracy that gives what could be MUCH NEEDED information. NTA but surrounded by TA.

[@rollothecat2010]

I actually grew up in an environment where we did not use the word creepy at all. This is a case of impoverished vocabulary in those children. The parents need to talk to them, explain what the word "creepy" really means and teach them other words to express their feelings more precisely and less offensively. Edit: My grandparents were immigrants from a non-English speaking country. Both my parents grew up multi-lingual. My father knew 5 languages despite growing up poor. My mother was fluent in 3 languages despite growing up poor too.

[@doctorspacy679]

the daughter who created her own language got e saying "WOW!" out loud multiple times! Holee that's amazing! Super smart kid!

[@staylor3483]

Last story: does this mean that every year Mary has been comparing prices on presents to make sure everyone is getting equal value? This is a pretty crappy thing to do & all the other adults should check her on this!

[@mariebenovil3540]

Present, Mother is a witch. Please move out now!

[@sharyebethancourt3660]

Imagine calling someone selfish and a brat for not wanting a cane to be used in a scavenger hunt. Just use your swivel chair, it has wheels. TF? Nevermind that the mom blames OP for dad dying. And then getting mad at OP for leaving, like - I hate you, but I don’t want you to get _me_ in trouble. Your mom and step dad deserve any trouble they get in.

[@SherriLyle80s]

Babysitter who walked out, NTA. I have a daughter with ADHD and I would NEVER put her on someone else when she is on a medication holiday. She is uncontrollable and someone like a camp counselor is definitely not equipped to handle that. As a commenter replied to OP as an example, she is a Girl Scout and if I can't camp with her, we do only the day camp option because she will sometimes wander in the middle of the night and her meds fade during nighttime. In Florida, this would be a disaster waiting to happen. When I anticipate her going to visit her aunt, daily school, after school activities or girl scout events during the day, she is medicated because I know she will push limits and not listen to rules. ADHDers cannot absorb information properly as their brains are in overdrive trying to make herself feel normal with extra stimuli so it's hard to concentrate on one thing at a time. She has been known to dart out of line in school while kindergarten into traffic before she was diagnosed. She almost gave her teacher a heart attack. Impulsive behavior is the most worrisome for me as a parent with an ADHDer. On a plus side, she makes As and Bs and is being tested for the gifted program this summer.

[@camwyn256]

I had to get food boxes before. Helped out when I needed it. Now I volunteer for the same place. A pay it forward kind of thing

[@katwiltz1134]

We need more people like that in the world you don't have to save all the hungry you just have to pay forward like you said. Thanks because it's living proof that people real people aren't going from this world anytime soon.

[@brunapontes5149]

Markee, thank you! I let your videos play while I do house chores and it makes the time go by faster.

[@cynicalminion]

when i was in high school, my uncle (despite his wife doing all the REST of their xmas shopping) called dibs, because somehow he knew exactly what to get for me every year... i think i'm probably the only person who has never needed to use the gift receipt they include in their presents... which says something, because he made it through my years of "here, just get yourself something you'll want to wear" w/me looking forward to getting new clothes every xmas...

[@paulinadeboer3604]

That is good for you. I am an aunt of 13 children, i give al of them the same amounth of money for each occasion. I only see 3 of them regulair. Problem with OP is, that she has the same interest as Jessica. So if she invite Jessica to shop, it is fun. But Jane doesn't like to shop. It is for OP more easy to do what Jessica liked then what Jane liked. Then you can blame Jane that she refused, but quit honnest it is yours for not doing things Jane liked to do. That fact made the favoritism. Last week someone asked me, why i did something i didn't like. And i told them, because my niece liked it. Sometimes you have to Come over yourself to have a connection with others.

[@cynicalminion]

@@paulinadeboer3604 the difference there is that it would be quite easy to do something with jane that she enjoys, while NOT demanding that jane go shopping...

[@paulinadeboer3604]

@@cynicalminion indeed, but OP don't like that cause what Jessica likes she likes too. Why bother if you have a niece that likes the same things.

[@cynicalminion]

@@paulinadeboer3604 i don't have any siblings, and i'm not planning on spawning, so why bother having a niece??

[@paulinadeboer3604]

@@cynicalminion that is your choice. But op cared and that is were the story is about.

[@annhans3535]

My sister in law once sent her kid to spend vacation at us with no clothes. I had to go out and buy clothes for him.

[@oldwoman5942]

So i’s ok for OP’s wife to embarrass OP but turn about isn’t fair?

[@bluejaywoman3421]

maybe words could have been more carefully chosen, but mom is classist AF.

[@geraldgrenier8132]

Rich Famil drama. Those that dismissed that the parents would reject therapy if suggested by teen OP. For them I think they overlooked a major fact. They're not land-rich classists, they're professional class rich. They're blaming the public school for corrupting him. The fact is they will assume a highly educated professional like a therapist they could afford would obviously side with them. OP saying he wants therapy including family therapy once the therapist knows him, OP's classist parents will assume the therapist will set him right and explain why he's wrong

[@annepearson4357]

Cane story... the next time your mother says you killed your father, you should say this to her: "Mom, I am tired of you trying to put the blame on me for dads death, when it is you who killed him! You made him drive me, and would not allow ambulance to come. You making him drive caused his death, not me! Also it was you who caused me to be crippled. It was not me, only you, and you alone!" This is more true than you as a 5 yr old doing this. Then after, do a No Contact, forever.

[@vanessasorth1657]

There was once a US President named Garfield in the 1800's. He was first to have it before the cat.

[@willj24]

I totally disagree on the nieces story. The nieces are adults now, and one has clearly made the effort to be closer to OP than the other has. I don't get why everyone thinks things have to be 100% equal. If it was their own children, or if the nieces were both still small, I'd understand. But as adults, gifts are based on the relationship and on finding something the person would like. Jessica does a lot of things with OP and is closer to her, why should OP feel obliged to not buy her something nice that OP knows she'd like, or else obliged to splurge on Jane, who is not as close to her and does not do as much to foster a close relationship? This would have been an excellent opportunity to teach both girls a lesson in adulthood and to recognize that in relationships, as in most of life, you get more out of the things you invest more into, and that it's totally OK to gravitate towards different people, but that they should each then expect less from the relationships they don't choose to prioritize. I really do not agree with the majority that said OP was TA in this case.

[@ZombieSazza]

Cane story; your fathers death is NOT your fault, your mother is abusive, your step-father enables her abuse, which enables the children’s abuse towards you. You have been gaslit, psychologically abused, neglected, suffering from hardcore ableism from your family, etc etc. You’ve been psychologically abused to the point you actually believe your fathers death is your fault, when it really, really isn’t. I have a cane, I have cPTSD & PTSD and have permanent nerve damage with mobility issues, I _need_ my cane. My cane is an extension of myself, it is part of my medical equipment. If someone messes with my cane they are in extension messing with me. My biological family were incredibly ableist towards me and tried withholding my meds from me, screamed abuse at me for “ruining” their lives (despite living in my own home and being low contact, literally not causing issues in their lives), forced me to lie on the floor when visiting them to “prove” I was actually immobile because I “didn’t deserve the bed or sofa”, weaponising my disabilities to guilt trip me constantly and use as an argument against me, etc etc. I was aware my family was abusive unlike OP, I didn’t blame myself for their abuse towards me (there was way more unrelated to my disabilities, such as physical violence) because that was on my mother and brother, not me. Once I was old enough I got help with a local charity who helped young people, they got me accommodation and I escaped just before 19 and never looked back, access to therapy, and I eventually went full no-contact in my mid 20’s, properly diagnosed with PTSD in my early 20’s, therapy, etc etc. Thankfully we have the NHS so I’ve been able to receive PTSD specific therapy, appointments with the pain clinic for my nerve damage, professional help for general mental health etc, things I was made to feel extremely guilty about by my birth family, they made me feel guilty, worthless and useless for having disabilities, which are obviously beyond my control. OP needs to escape, and stay away, probably completely cut all contact, because they won’t learn from this, abusers rarely do. My biological family have only ever tried to contact me to be ableist, homophobic, to harass me, harass me through their friends (because they have no access to me), and to send threats, they’re not apologetic for any of their behaviour. Thankfully when cutting contact I told friends exactly what they were like with proof of all the ableism and abuse, and I was believed because they’d witnessed a lot of their behaviour, my bio family tried blowing up about this and attempted to blame me, but nobody was listening to their feeble attempts, nobody believed them. It was extremely freeing and took several years to work through the damage they’d done, something I’m still working through because it’s left lasting effects, hence the cPTSD & PTSD. It’s something I’ve had to slowly learn to live with, but I was only able to achieve that through professional medical help, something OP desperately needs. She needs trauma specific therapy, that would help the most.

[@mandyanderson5616]

I agree with the parent who doesn't want the children using the word "creepy." YOU SAID IT YOURSELF... That them saying something or someone making them feel "Creepy" is describing something or someone who makes them feel uncomfortable... So why not just say that?? This person or this situation makes me feel "uncomfortable". The word "creepy" seems to be somewhat duragotory... It seems less judgemental & less dirogatory for them to say, "He/She makes me feel uncomfortable"... Rather than these children calling out a PERSON or situation as being "Creepy." Anyone who actually describes another person as "creepy" is being very insulting towards someone who may not deserve it. But, just saying, that person, or that situation, makes me feel uncomfortable... Isn't insulting another... It's just stating that you, YOURSELF, do not feel comfortable... Which is absolutely not insulting towards another person.

[@kskidspastor]

The stuff between Jane and Jessica would not have happened if Mary hadn’t opened her big mouth. She’s the one that started the crap.

[@katyc.1402]

There are tons of resources in Maine for help with Healthcare, including mental health. Especially if you are disabled or elderly. I hope the OP with a cane found all the help they need. It breaks my heart that they think their mothers death is their fault.

[@williethomas6388]

Husband apparently you’re doing a better job at working from home,taking care of the baby, cleaning the house, doing the laundry and cooking without complaining than her so she’s probably jealous.

[@srkh8966]

Or, she’s guilty/uncomfortable because she’s not her daughter’s primary caregiver

[@kellyalves756]

3:05 I rarely use this particular word, but when I heard the phrase “people who rent in their thirties are failures “ I grumbled, “ What a bunch of c- words.”

[@jjr9792]

Story 1 - It's frustrating when older commenters make ignorant statements like [7:54-7:57] "Although houses were cheaper, wages were crap" and [8:22-8:29] "I've never understood people who say 'it used to be cheap' - In my experience it never has." Either they've never seen, or just don't understand the reports comparing housing prices vs salaries over the past few decades, specifically the ever widening gap between the two. I had this exact conversation with my own father about 10 years ago: "Sure, in 1981 you only made $15/hr (Auto mechanic), but you bought our 3 bed/2 bath house for $61,000. 35 years later, you still work at the same place, and now you make $38/hr. But that house is now selling for $699,000. Your salary hasn't even tripled, but housing costs have increased more than 10×. THAT is what people in my generation are upset about" (Well, that and tuition fees)

[@Gregarious3]

We pledge alliance to the flag because of the ideals it represents. Why else does a large % of the world want to come here?

[@lenax9798]

Lmao what? Many people I talked to regret going to America and we Europeans laugh at America.

[@rollothecat2010]

@@lenax9798 I know that my mom and dad had opportunities here they would not have had in their European country. Currently, I am becoming envious of the people who stayed in the European countries, at least until Putin invaded Ukraine. I am trying to brush up the Spanish I learned in school. And also I am trying to learn a couple of related European languages, including my grandparents' language. In case I want escape from America to Europe due to the growing number of ultra racists conservatives in the US who are passing bad laws I do not approve of and increasing conservative religious influence to the point that we nearly have a government religion.

[@Schwiegermutter]

​@@lenax9798You may, I don't. Freedom > everything. The USA should go back to their old values that made it the greatest country in record time.

[@kskidspastor]

The daughter asked if it was something for boys. He answered that it is primarily played by boys but that girls play it too. FACT. She asked if it was a bad idea for her to play. He said she should do what she wants.

[@toyairy7612]

OP who was abandoned and brother died...that mom will probably abandon him again once she figures out he will never be that son who died. He is better off staying away at least until he can live with being second son forever.

[@richardweighill8556]

Mother-in-law story - I would have got in a cab, had him circle the airport, and got back into line once they had left. By the time they realized I wasn’t at home I’d have been sipping maitais on the beach somewhere. AFTER cancelling or reselling or even gifting their tickets to a stand by couple.

[@oldwoman5942]

We had to pledge our allegiance plus pray…in public school.

[@Jupily]

Hold up, you have to pray in public school. I’m in a catholic school but I was always in a public school, that’s honestly weird…

[@oldwoman5942]

@@Jupily this was in elementary school in the southern US 60 years ago.

[@Jupily]

@@oldwoman5942 Ah, I see lol.

[@vanessasorth1657]

Thank heavens I no longer need to date. I am a boomer so u get the reason for no dating. I have my own way to do it. No dates are great.

[@wickedbird1538]

😮😮First story. 4 Decades ago a high level employee complained it was really hard to get by on $85,000 a year. My boss said. 40% of the employees are on food stamps. The 400 employee salaries were public.

[@bluejaywoman3421]

Creepy: There was guy on campus a that was a bit creepy. I wrote it off, until during a water ballon fight he pinned me to a wall and tried to kiss me. I introduced the creepy privates to my knee. I found a lot of those examples creepy. Teacher wanting to see what is in the background is creepy AF. Nosy neighbors are creepy. And there is this creepy guy in my neighborhood, that sure a single comment can get a pass, but the totality of all of our interactions add up to super creepy. I wish that story had an update from OP. I hope he gets the point.

[@GreenKnight1982]

I wish people would get the point that he is saying that they are using that word as an insult not using it as it's defined. Especially the younger ones. They are literally calling every single thing they don't like creepy which is rude. They need to be taught the proper meaning of that word and other words they could use.

[@srkh8966]

But this girl is using “creepy” for everyone and everything she doesn’t like.

[@YourShadowKeeper]

The story about the teen that keeps using the term "creepy": I agree with her that the pledge of allegiance is creepy and cult-like. Most country's citizens are proud of their nation, yet they aren't forced from an extremely young age to put their hands over their hearts and make a pledge of unquestioning servitude to their nation. The teacher wanting backgrounds off during Zoom classes is damn weird - so long as it's a non-offensive background it shouldn't be a problem, not to mention that bedrooms are a private space where children and teens should be able to feel safe and secure, it's inappropriate a teacher is demanding to be privy to such a personal space. The main character in The Great Gatsby is odd and could very easily be called a creep, and lastly, it's completely understandable that a young teen would see grown men who aren't related to her who pay attention to her as "creepy". Also, it's not uncommon for teenagers to use words that may not be openly acceptable, especially amongst their peers. He should just be glad she's not taken to using words like me and my peers used as a teen in Australia in the late '90s - early '00s. Because they were most certainly offensive and rude, especially by today's standards.

[@Schwiegermutter]

You sound creepy.

[@kathleenmayhorne3183]

First are your parents aware of their own emotional needs, do they even know they are responsible to take care of your emotional health. They are responsible for raising you, not just seeing you are educated, not leaving you to your own devices, but guiding your morals, keeping you mentally healthy, and not just working all the time and throwing money at anything that comes up? This is not a healthy environment, they are just as neglectful as drug addicts or alcoholics, it could be seen as like being in prison, held in solitary confinement or isolation. How will they feel when things move on in your life and they have no idea, because they never talked to you to get to know what makes you tick? If you can't get the message through to them, who can?

[@lesliejohnson2982]

"I didn't realize a lot of people do it fairly frequently" re: Pledge of allegience - EVERY schoolday morning. About 180 days a year.. for THIRTEEN YEARS. Sometimes we did it TWICE in one day. IT IS CREEPY.

[@rileystewart9927]

i got PCOS and thank god i dont get extra hair, no thanks! cant stand hair on my face and i dont even remember last time i shaved lmao, so glad that i aint getting all that extra BS from that, voice has changed but idk if from that or cuz ive had none stop year round sinus infection for past 2 or 3 years now

[@normajeanmarchegiani9829]

Op, Jane, Jessica and Mary. The only AH here is Mary. If she didn’t stick her nose in it Jane wouldn’t have known anything.

[@AlyseA1689]

I feel so awful for the one telling her dad to go to the food bank. Yes he should do that but I can only imagine how horrible he feels having his daughter help so much and giving up school to help pay bills. My heart goes out to them and I pray they get the step up they need. That’s such an awful situation for everyone. The dad deserves a break and I hope he gets it. Until then get the help you need to feed your kids

[@catherinehall7217]

She had kids and then was too lazy to even attempt getting into a shape outside of round and is blazing the kids. I'm so tired of women blaming kids for their lack of motivation

[@hekatsees9449]

1st Story: Why was co-worker offering help to OP rude? The co-worker went out of their way to enter into an uncomfortable conversation with OP. So, their conversation may have been clumsy, but they did seem sincere… Just sayin’…

[@Wikita007]

"The privileged were born in third base, but think they hit a triple." Best explanation of privilege I've ever heard. Simple and easy to understand.

[@piiinkDeluxe]

8:50 are the kids named Harry and William? Lol

[@AlyseA1689]

I left an abusive husband with a 2 year old after the first shutdown and literally balled for days when I had to apply for food stamps even though I have been working my ass off since 15 and had paid more into it then I wound up getting. My ex ditched out on the rent on the apartment we lived in that was in my name alone, not his and I got a call saying I was on the hook for close to 7 grand by the end of it all. The most humbling and empowering moment of my life so far was calling around to womens shelters and resources and community help to see if I qualified for help paying it off. I am still thankful for my old landlord for being understanding of my situation and helping me find the right people to get it caught up without it coming from me. I am thankfully finally halfway stable im still pay check to pay check but my bills are paid and I have enough for birthdays and holidays. Im going on 2 years free of that evil man and me and my son are going to have a great life

[@rosebearcat]

Just a reminder if anybody needs to use an EpiPen orange to the thigh blue to the sky and call 911

[@nabzisi3928]

Cane story :NTA firstly it not your fault that your dad passed away. The fact that your mother blames you is just cruel.

[@juliearaiza3465]

Assistance denier: corporations pay workers nothing while paying no taxes, in some cases getting millions in a tax return . This year tax year 21 I've got 5000$ in taxable income and and required to pay $500 + in taxes. Completely disturbed that on 20 Trump payed only $200 more than I am each year but for both years will have paid more than he did and don't have a single hotel

[@rhondasisco-cleveland2665]

Check out the Harvard 70 year study on men. Men who had close relationships with their mothers were more successful, less likely to divorce, have health issues or have substance abuse issues, if I remember correctly. The best thing you can to to insure your child’s health, happiness and success is to love them, allow them to TRUST you and don’t destroy their self esteem. Please, let your children cry, without abusing, threatening or bullying them. When an animal hears its offspring cry, do they attack them? Be better than an animal.

[@troubleinthevalley5884]

Sounds like T is jealous and also a slight bully. She's very stealthy about it though lol

[@kittykat65]

OP, don't teach your ex-wife your daughter's new language. First get her language Copy right protected and the reason Clara has not shared her new language with her mother is " She spoke that goubly guk all weekend" and your ex-wife can't understand why you alls daughter won't teach it to her mother 🤷🏽‍♀️🤷🏽‍♀️🤷🏽‍♀️ keep supporting your daughter and arrange first for both you & Clara to go to a family therapist and explain what's going on giving Clara the opportunity to talk out her feelings. Then when Clara, you & the therapist feels it's time invite Clara's mom into the sections. So Clara & her mom can start working on their relationship then at some point it would be good idea to bring in the step-dad and siblings. I for one completely understand why Clar's not sharing her new language with her mom. Her mon referring to Clara's hard work and Engenuity, Dedication, inspiration as glibly goop is why Clara's not including her mom. Again please OP make sure that you get Clara's new language COPYRIGHTED protect Clara's hard work and intellectual property.

[@that.ll_do_pig]

Babysitting story: ESH Asking about cpr and references is not "overprotective" and she should have asked about child specifics. Parents should have volunteered such specifics in the initial call as well.

[@mimikiryuu]

60's and having a kid? What? Don't want to be around for the 30's or 40's? Yeah, they'll be set up for life from his Life insurance policy.

[@naturalPaths]

Re “Creepy” Overuse of any word becomes crying wolf. Ask every child to describe How ‘x’ is creepy, and consider alternative/additional words to describe given situations. It is useful to have a larger vocabulary to identify and describe various instances.

[@srkh8966]

Right! Overusing “creepy” negates the meaning.

[@gingerfiz291]

I might be wrong in this speculation but i feel in the cane story the mom blames her kid for the fathers death because the mom feels its her fault since she's the one who refused to call an ambulance. Yet she tries to deflect that guilt by blaming it on her own child.

[@Allantitan]

“Plenty of adults don’t know what an allergic reaction is” I’ll admit I’ve never actually seen anyone having a severe allergic reaction at worst I’ve seen them sneeze and maybe have a rash but that’s it so I know I’d wanna know beforehand about any allergies

[@joseph-mm4vi]

Ahh shoot it’s mr.steal yo girl my boy fresh with the new hair cut

[@amberlexicon]

Money being a no-no topic in the workplace is a totally constructed thing that only benefits the employer and discussing wages is a federally protected activity. They WANT you to be uncomfortable discussing wages. It makes it easier to make pay discrepancies go under the radar. TALK ABOUT YOUR WAGES.

[@AshenTechDotCom]

having friends with tomboy daughters, who were not raised "Gender neutal" but just let be who they wanted to be, and given toys they liked, mostly raised by dad or by tomboy mom and dad, nobody ever told them sports were not for them, and wording was similar to here, but also "thats just how it is, dosnt mean you cant play and enjoy yourself and have fun", infact, as one pointed out to his 14yo, being one of the few girls who was genuinely good at sports in general not just "Girls sports", she had alot of guys around her, did any of them ever give her any more shit then they gave eachother? the look on her face... lightbulb... the 12yo girl never gave a shit what was for boys or girls, shes very amusing... well shes older now, as 12 when this happened... even she just told her sister to get over it, do what you want... they are all very level headed and, depending on the mindset of the person/child, wording may matter greatly or, not much at all really... i have personally see it go both ways.. kids who were very entiutive and also knew their family and didnt take things that outsiders might take as harsh/mean that way at all, hell my fathers like that at times... when friends of mine realized they had to adapt to him being who he is but realized he wasnt trying to be rude or mean or disliked them, its just his personality..

[@AshenTechDotCom]

simple version: anybody can do and enjoy what they like, some things are more suited to one sex vs the other, if american football, it is vastly more males then females... i have a feeling the wife would have taken it badly no matter how he responded if it wasnt rejection of societal norms, and, some things are gendered, some arent, this isnt bad or good, its human, people need to get over it, people can break with norms and still succeed and have a good time, hell even soccer in alot of the world, is mostly men when it comes to TV, not on tv, is another story, but i would also explain that if needed... my friends kids didnt need it they had watched and taken the piss out on more then one womens team playing a more male dominated sport, like the wnba... they both love playing basket ball, but all you hear from them watching WNBA to this day well over a decade later... is critique on tequique and why the NBA is so much more popular... they dont hate them just... dont have much respect for them bitching about equal pay for a sub-par product compared to the nba... also the fact is, and we all know it, if a woman was superior and pushed to get onto a pro team, its been decades since anybody would have done anything but try and secure that massive positive press magnet.... now, we all enjoy watching womens tennis more then mens.. and find golf fun to play and boring to watch.. his daugthers are both great...the sons...mostly great ones a little turd... but his issues are due to him being her kid from a previous marriage whos fathers a druggie freak who would blow smoke in the babies face, till he went to prison after the kid had a seizure and ended up in the ER... drug testing had them go looking for him and well... yeah... worst part was mom wasnt aware because she was working 3 jobs since he was on house arrest...(she picked a fucking winner the first time)... at least she learned... anyway... to me sports... do what you enjoy... just dont expect to become famous for it... most people never will be famous... so yeah..