My Wifes Co-Worker Emailed Me To Tell Me Wife Is Having An Affair r/Relationships

[@owl7072]

Story 1: "All we did was kiss a couple times" That's two times too many. You shouldn't have kissed him _period._

[@swearimnotarobot3746]

Even if they did it once, that’s one time too many.

[@laurag502]

also if you’re kissing it means that likely you’ve been emotionally cheating for a while before that. the only exception would be maybe drunken mistake but even that happens bc your mind was already wandering and imo an emotional affair is almost worse than just sleeping with someone.

[@angietyndall7337]

Story 2: Your friend stole it for her own use; etc.

[@albertgongora6944]

Honest opinion on that first story 100% agree with the original poster and anybody else who pretty much agrees with the original poster about fuck cheaters and the people who also help them cuz how are you going to stand there and lie to somebody significant others face in hold that information from them for so long like maybe I can understand if you don't want to get in the middle of the trauma or you're too scared to approach not knowing if this person is going to believe you maybe those reasons I can understand but if you feel like you're a friend of this person at least let them know what's going on and show them the truth for what it is and look I get it and everybody else needs to get this to not everybody you get into a relationship with and have mutual friends with their friends are always going to be good people they're not always going to be there for your side they're there for the cheater side or the person side that it's in the wrong because they've known them longer and it's sad that that's the honest truth but that's why you shouldn't always feel that your significant other friends or your friends because you never knowwhat are hiding from you when it comes to your significant other because it could be that they know that she's been cheating or he's been cheating or any other dirty Little secret that they just don't want out

[@lynnw7155]

All in the first year of marriage?? If she wants the marriage to work, she wouldn't be doing this. Even if there was no sex (which I believe there was) her behavior is a big NO for me. I hate that OP trusted his therapist and ignored his gut. ALWAYS listen to your gut.

[@Mama_Bear_of_3]

It drives me insane when someone's spouse finds evidence cheating on the phone of their partner, and the first thing the partner says is, "You violated my privacy!"

[@lennaedaley8676]

That argument doesn't count went you are found to be guilty

[@calico_queen8976]

Most people who are guilty do this thing called the blame game where they try to rationalize their shitty actions by making it seem like you did something wrong too. It's like when you someone gets caught stealing and they immediately pull a "Well, you shouldn't be putting it where you can easily lose it".

[@eldeano9964]

Well, you violated my trust, and broke your oath.

[@angeloliver7613]

To be fair I'm more afraid of some controlling, privacy invading psycho then getting cheated on.

[@SunBeeSmoked]

@@angeloliver7613the person being cheated on is not a controlling privacy invading psycho. Nice blame shifting.

[@Wander85942]

I’m already out for the cheating. I’m even more out when the wife pulled out every cheater excuse at rapid fire when caught

[@Catherine.Dorian.]

I think if someone has an exact answer ready, one that usually flips things around so the accuser is the bad guy, then they’re guilty. Because if I was accused of cheating and I was innocent I’d be quite confused as to where it even came from and I’d have questions, I wouldn’t flip the blame around because I hadn’t done anything wrong so I don’t need to shift blame

[@ch3rrikiss]

Self sabotage us tragic to witness but fascinating to analyse

[@Khadejiacat]

Every time I have been cheated on, the cheater always leaves breadcrumbs in the form of their actions which activates the spidey sense. I’ve been in two relationships in my 20s that were like this. Luckily, I’ve matured past these kinds of relationships. I can 100% say that coming out the other side made me a better partner, but a more savvy dater if you do the work to release that baggage.

[@madambutterfly1997]

She only married you for stability. Ignore any claims of her genuinely loving. Even if she took a bullet for you, don't give her the satisfaction

[@helenlewis2510]

She literally only married op for the money, I hope he gets away with most of it.

[@SuperOdyss]

Likely. One year of marriage means there is little common property. Likely his degree causes him to earn much more than her, but she cannot get a slice of that degree unless she helped put him through university, which she did not.

[@Bluewolf09]

Hopefully he takes literally everything. She has been cheating since a few weeks after the marriage, she should get literally nothing.

[@akl2k7]

@@Bluewolf09Yeah, at that point, it's almost annulment-worthy.

[@madambutterfly1997]

An emotional affair is STILL AN AFFAIR. People like to think that an affair only counts if it gets physical

[@LovesGaming37]

What do you consider an emotional affair? Talking to a friend of the opposite sex is an emotional affair?

[@madambutterfly1997]

@LovesGaming37 the constant communication whereas the ignoring your SO entirely

[@brittalex42]

I think people tend to get less upset over an emotional affair, or maybe the situation is murky enough for them that they can rug sweep to avoid having to change their life to divorce someone.

[@akl2k7]

@@LovesGaming37 Talking to a friend of the opposite sex is fine. Chatting with them every day and almost as much as your partner is when it gets to be a problem.

[@ginathecookie]

​​@@akl2k7i think everyday is fine. It's the issue of when you don't pay attention to your partner over them. It's the context of what is said itself. It's the you're allocating the romantic intimacy to someone else instead of your partner. That is the issue and what counts as cheating or mismanaging even in poly relationships; not looking after your current partner. And because this is a monogamous one the included context is the what messages contained, the kind of banter, and the kissing. Some banter is okay but it can cross lines and cross into flirting if one isn't careful and doesn't put boundaries in place. Something she didn't do one bit. I love banter, it's great, it's fun. But I 100% wouldn't do it constantly and dismiss my partner. Where do cheaters even get the energy, too. Edit: ofc it got worse. She had sex, smh. Already knew she sucked. She just got worse.

[@tully6648]

Story 2: I would've absolutely just taken the dress back and waited to see the friend's reaction when it showed up at the sister's wedding. Been like, "Oh, yeah! I forgot to tell you I found it in your closet when I was over to housesit. Y'know, a little whoopsie, just like when you 'lost' it. No worries, though, yeah?"

[@hiro4344]

It appeared on my front porch with a note saying "Found it" I thought it was from you?

[@akl2k7]

@@hiro4344 That sounds like a good way to invoke paranoia in the "friend".... I like it.

[@VadBlackwood]

Be like - I found it! And she'd be like - Found it where? And you - Where do you think? - You went through my closet?? - Oh so you DID know exactly where it was!

[@hiro4344]

lol "You'll never guess where I found it! Go on *Guess!*"

[@tgbedini]

"I found the dress!" "Why did you go through my closet?" "So, you knew it was in the closet all along, and didn't get it back to me? And you act like YOU are the victim?"

[@SkyEcho751]

Story 1: "She doesn't want me to bring this up to my family..." RIGHT THERE, do not listen to her. She is trying to isolate you from sharing the truth of what she is doing. Otherwise she'd be open and honest. She doesn't want this to work out, she wants to keep abusing you.

[@maurer3d]

Story 2: NTA, she had your property and refused to return it. The fact it was exactly where she put it 2 years earlier, is just dumb. Oh and this was 100% malicious, even the most cluttered closet only takes a few minutes to thoroughly search.

[@alisongeorge3089]

I don't get people. I'd have been tearing my whole house apart looking for my friend's super sentimental item that they trusted me with

[@thomasjoseph5876]

The OP should have just shut her mouth and not said anything after finding the dress. It wasn't right for her to go into the "friend's" closet so she should have just remained silent about it and waited for that day when the friend would eventually ask her if she knew where HER dress ended up at LOL. Actually, I wouldn't have her as a friend anymore, but that is my personal decision.

[@kimberlyterasaki4843]

Story 2: Honestly, the fact that OP was willing to house-sit for her friend after the friend supposedly lost her wedding dress proves to me that the friendship is unequal / unhealthy and OP needs to check the house for the rest of her "lost" things and then never speak to this person again.

[@darkmask5933]

When people talk about trickle truthing, this was one of the clearest examples I've ever seen. "We only chat, you're crap in bed and we need therapy." "OK, so we only kissed, but that's it, nothing more than kissing." "Well in addition to kissing we also hang out together, but nothing more than that." "We only had sex one time, but I promise you that's it." It was so satisfying when OP just started laughing and told her he knew they had been hooking up multiple times a months, and she just screamed and locked herself in the bathroom like a child. She was banking on him coming to check on her, making him come to her, so good that OP just packed his bags and grabbed his pet while she wailed for attention behind the door. "I'm sad, don't you see I'm sad, come and comfort me!" Yeah, have fun being branded a cheater, also bed now that she's not married the co-worker will suddenly start losing interest, not so much fun when the cookies you're getting aren't coming from someone else's cookie jar.

[@SuperOdyss]

You cheat with a married woman because it is safer knowing she cannot out you without wrecking her own married life. If your AP is a married woman you usually do not have to spend much time nor money on her since she has to keep the affair hidden.

[@thomasjoseph5876]

There is only one thing left to do. AFTER the divorce, harass the employer until they fire BOTH of them. Trust me, THEY WILL in a heartbeat once things become an issue for them or the person having to deal with them. A dude I worked with had his wife cheat on him with a co-worker. AFTER the divorce he called the owner of the small company they both worked at and the owner told them it wasn't HIS issue and besides, the divorce was already over and he should suck it up and move on. So, the dude I worked with told him he would be calling and sending emails to ALL of their customers to see if they see things the same way that he does. Needless to say, BOTH of them were fired later that same day. He knew this because he got a nasty text message from his ex-wife telling him they both got fired. Then she told him to watch out because the AP would be looking for him and the dude just said, "The guns are locked and loaded". He never heard from her or saw the AP ever again. LOLOLOLOL.

[@madambutterfly1997]

"We just kissed we didn't have sex." That's still worthy of divorce

[@MsRaja43]

Every thing that led up to the kiss is grounds for divorce

[@catmaxwell6691]

Kissing is intimate. There’s no ‘just’.

[@BloodShed4REAL]

They kissed sure, but where? :P

[@iamthebadwolf7296]

Anything is “worthy of divorce”, you get to decide if you stay in a marriage or not, by whatever parameters you choose. No matter how ridiculous. Lots of people wouldn’t throw away a marriage for a kiss, and there’s nothing wrong with them not agreeing with you.

[@HaleyJo1992]

Story 2: If I thought I had lost someone's anything I would have emptied that closet until I found it.

[@D-M-K-1-2]

Story 1: I'm always surprised by the amount of people, when they get exposed for cheating then they go "LMAO i only went against my wedding vows X amount of times". Like that's supposed to make it better?

[@ZombieSazza]

“I laughed at her” Baller move honestly, Godspeed OP, enjoy your life with your amazing brother, sister in law, and your wonderful dog!

[@maurer3d]

Story 1 (before update): NTA, Run, get out know before she gets pregnant and you get stuck with this woman, and possibly paying child-support for his child. Story 1 (after update): Great that you escaped her.

[@darkmask5933]

Story 2: I feel like it wasn't so much the friend wanted the dress for any reason other than she knew it was special to OP. People like this are dangerous, they don't really want the 'stuff', they want to do things and hurt people in order to be "important" to them. It probably gave her some sort of sick thrill knowing she had your heirloom, because that means whenever you thought about it, you'd be thinking about her. This woman is not your friend, she likes your attention. That, or OP "did something" to the friend and this was the friend's way of getting revenge. I doubt it was even worth this level of revenge, maybe OP cancelled plans with friend, or didn't give her the right gift for friend's wedding, and stealing OP's dress was friend's way of getting back at OP?

[@randomgeneration7781]

It might not be nearly as sinister as you're thinking - some people are just that level of thick-headed that they'll sell someone else's wedding dress, especially if it's a very beautiful one. Brand new dresses are still incredibly expensive even if they're off the rack, and there are a lot of people who would rather look to get a similarly beautiful dress secondhand (and almost just as many people who wouldn't hesitate to steal a friend/daughter/sister's dress to make a quick buck). The friend had the dress, she probably got an offer for it, figured in her thick head "lol she won't miss it she doesn't even need it anymore" and put it up for auction on the internet. I wouldn't be surprised if OP went looking and found people STILL trying to outbid each other to get her dress.

[@swearimnotarobot3746]

And then the fact when OP told the friend that she found the dress, the friend asked why she rummaged through her closet. Meaning she knew it was in her closet. The comment that pointed that out was on point. The friend definitely stole it and never planned on returning it.

[@swearimnotarobot3746]

@@randomgeneration7781being so thick headed that you sell a friend’s wedding dress that you promised to mind for safekeeping is sinister. OP gave it to her because she didn’t want to lose it and repeatedly asked the friend to return it. And the friend continuously gaslit her. Besides, the friend didn’t sell it, she had it all along and knew OP wanted it back. How can you look at that and think it isn’t sinister? Selling someone else’s property without their permission is sinister. Just because you think they won’t notice isn’t a good enough reason.

[@darkmask5933]

@@randomgeneration7781 OP said it took 2 years to get the dress back, I feel like if the friend wanted to sell it, she would have sold it by now. The fact it was still in the closet makes me think the friend was keeping it on purpose.

[@bunnyslippers191]

@@swearimnotarobot3746 I would have said, "You did??? Holy crap! Where the hell was it???? In my closet??? Really???? Just where in my closet, because I went through it and it wasn't there? Behind the boxes of seasonal stuff? Oh. My. God. I'm an idiot. I'm so glad! This is great! Well, it's great for you and your sister, but it's effing embarrassing for me. This coming weekend every single thing is coming out of that closet and I'm going to get rid of some of that crap. Wow, I really do need to do a closet clearing." Yep, she knew it was in that closet all along. Edit: There would have been a lot more bad words and a lot more castigating myself for idiocy if it had been me. Just sayin'.

[@alyssachey8417]

Marks comment on “not the plants… they didn’t do anything wrong” cracked me up lol 😂

[@carolroberts4614]

I agree with him!

[@randomgeneration7781]

I have this image in my mind of Crowley yelling at his plants and the set guys shaking the pots to make the plants "look terrified".

[@nikkid7838]

Story 1: I just don’t understand why people when get caught cheating go on this tirade on how they want to work on their marriage don’t want to loose their marriage/partner. If you are having an ongoing affair. Leave the marriage Damit!

[@mortenrahm]

one word MONEY

[@jake8748]

Most people get caught up in the affair. Its called limerance. So the affair becomes a fantasy world and they get lost in basically an altered reality. If they left their partner then the fantasy world is no more either. Then when the bubble bursts they realise just what they actually cost themselves. They don't really understand what they've done to the other person, its all about their own selfish needs and a need for validation because they have inadequacies.

[@Jesse_E5150]

Because she saw OP as a walking, talking, living, breathing ATM. 💰 Women like her are the absolute worst.

[@iamthebadwolf7296]

Why do you get to tell people how to live their lives? I agree, if you want someone else and your partner isn’t into poly you should leave, but if both partners want to work on the marriage, that’s there decision to make, mistake or no.

[@michamocha]

Like that person said, it's very telling that the friend knew exactly where Op looked through in order to find the dress. She definitely was trying to keep the dress and hide it from Op. Why else would it be so deep in the clutter when she was ony suppose to be keeping it safe for Op temporarily?

[@YellaBellaReno]

The cheater who gets married while they are cheating is the most despicable type of cheater. That takes some absolutely bananas type of cruelty or an insane amount of denial.

[@heatheraucoin5832]

S1- Blessed SIL egged him on for digging more for the truth. Women will NOT STOP until they get to the bottom of the truth. Shout out to the co-worker, brother, and SIL

[@ZombieSazza]

Story 2: god so NTA, your “friend” was strangely hiding your sentimental wedding dress, she was trying to STEAL it from you, and she refused to “find” it for 2 YEARS!!! Eff this “friend”, ditch her, drop her immediately.

[@TheOddityFair]

S1 - I can’t fault OP for being slow to open his eyes. He’s clearly been manipulated & isolated by this woman for years, & that’s not an easy thing to shake off. Glad that he got out & hopefully took her to the cleaners financially & socially. S2 - That “friend” 100% knew where the dress was & wanted to keep it. She purposefully hid it in her closet behind large boxes to make it hard to find. She knew exactly where OP had found it w/o specifics. She’s no friend. She’s a liar & a thief. Drop her OP.

[@eyreyereye]

the fact that she was perfectly willing to blame op entirely for the death of their sex lives before getting called out by her coworker proves she isn't as invested in this marriage as he is, which is the death knell to any relationship

[@carolroberts4614]

He won't be able to trust her again. It's gone. She's lied, trickle truthed, and gaslit!

[@Russman67]

Story 1: She had a continuous affair and lied to OP. Shutting this down is the only way this can go down. I get him not immediately going the nuclear route and leaving. I've been there. You don't want to believe it. You still want to believe part of the lie you bought into, even as it dissolves in front of you.

[@Kalossupremacy3356]

Honestly it seems she was very abusive and was cutting him off from his support system.

[@akl2k7]

@@Kalossupremacy3356 Especially putting the blame on him for their marriage not doing so hot and putting the impetus on him to change, when she's the one banging her coworker on the side, which, unless he's, for example, abusive or cheating himself, means whatever he's doing wrong pales compared to what she's doing. I think there was another similar story awhile back where the OP and his wife were having marital problems, and she was making him jump through all these hoops to improve their marriage and making it seem like it was all on him, only for it to turn out she was cheating. All these crazy psycho spouses gaslighting their partners should be banned from being in a relationship.

[@MasterBuilderDragon]

Story 1: Good Lord, she couldn’t even last a year after the wedding before cheating? My cousin’s nasty ex wife at least gave him that much. I really hope to hear from OP in the future on how much better he’s doing without her.

[@jrod1591]

Couldn’t even last a month. Lol

[@MasterBuilderDragon]

@@jrod1591 I wanted to say that, but he said a few weeks so that could imply more than a month. Decided to play it safe lol.

[@jrod1591]

@@MasterBuilderDragon I can see that!

[@CatLoverX74]

She was probably cheating the whole relationship 😑

[@GBunnyG]

Story 2: I joke that I'm from a family of losers. If something can be lost, I will lose it. And if I couldn't find something as valuable as a friend's wedding dress? I would cry hysterically and allowed them to rip my house apart to find it.

[@justinecorrington4106]

Story 1: only way I see cheating being workable is when the cheater had been remorseful and confessed. Not lied, gaslit and only ‘confessed’ when evidence was brought in. Even if had only been a kiss and emotional affair, seriously this is year 1 of marriage; the honeymoon

[@dianasmith8248]

Story 2: NTA, that woman is a thief not a friend. OP needs to ditch that friend and tell the other friends what happened.

[@anntphamvo87]

Take away from story 2: Wedding dresses are safe with Mark 😂❤

[@madambutterfly1997]

"Just friends" don't message pics of swimsuits to each other

[@madambutterfly1997]

You stop the spooky intro? October isn't over yet

[@swearimnotarobot3746]

It’s time to start the Christmas intro 😂

[@paden1865able]

Noooooo!! The turkey isn't even roasted yet!

[@tully6648]

@@paden1865able It's not even BOUGHT yet!

[@sergeipohkerova7211]

This is one of those stories where invariably the nice, harmless provider husband will get torched on Facebook and Instagram as the cheating wife puts out the utterly, fantastically false narrative that he was abusive.

[@GhostDraig1931]

Jeez, I once borrowed a marvel volume from a friend of mine. After I read it, and kept forgetting to put it in my bag on my way to school, (scatter brain). I ended up having the comic with me during the COVID lockdowns. I kept that book on my shelf with my comic collections, so I knew where it was. When I finally got to meet up with my friend years later. I finally gave the book back to them.

[@errantwinds-up8uu]

Story 2: I actually can believe that the friend didn't want the dress, because why would she? I can't figure out a motive since she offered to pay. But like Mark said, if I was storing someone's wedding dress, I'd guard it with my life! Why didn't she care more?

[@lolly166541]

Every time I store something for someone - it's always on top of everything! Hell, I even send them a message saying like "Hey, I've put the XYZ on to the Wardrob (for example)"... Just in case.

[@madambutterfly1997]

Personally i would have accepted the offer for her to pay me back the dress's value and then steal back the dress

[@Original_Tenshi_Chan]

AND not tell her that I found the dress. Just let her panic when she can't find her trophy. And if the friend has the chutzpah to call OP and ask about he dress, OP should have played dumb and asked "wait, you still had the dress? You told me you lost it! You lied to me? Why?" Screw with the "friend" just like she screwed with OP

[@madambutterfly1997]

@@Original_Tenshi_Chan I love psychological warfare

[@ginasalinas300]

For me personally carrying on an emotional affair with a co-worker is worse than sleeping with somebody

[@videofan1010]

Same.

[@katrinasamuels-garrison825]

Story 1: I've never heard of calling someone's job and being able to get their personal phone number. 😐

[@megnotmegan1966]

Good morning Mark, Miss Poppy, and the rest of the waffle gang! Hugs and have a fantastic weekend! ❤❤❤

[@NightFuryNeff]

Love your readings Mark!!!!

[@hodgeelmwood8677]

Story 2: At least a 50% chance that she knew exactly where the dress was and intended to keep it. Not sure why as she was apparently already married, but maybe she just liked vintage dresses, or had some idea of selling it, or wearing it for a vow renewal ceremony. Regardless of reasons, something was fishy there.

[@DrownedInExile]

S1: OP was a damn fool to take her back the first time he caught her lying and gaslighting. But I'm glad Reddit helped him to pull his head out of his harlot wife's backside. Now he needs to gather evidence, out her to all his friends and family. Drop the friends who knew and didn't warn her. Be utterly cutthroat ruthless in the divorce. Let her know in no uncertain terms, the price of betrayal.

[@rosihantu1]

Your relationship can't be saved because underneath it all, she's just not into you. You are a box ticker. You just tick all the boxes as someone that meets the criteria of a good partner in her eyes, nothing more. She doesn't feel any heat for you.

[@squidward6187]

Story1: the fact she started cheating immediately tells me that she always thought of OP as JUST an atm/provider. Once she secured him, she could start her "romantic life." He seems like a pushover and girls generally don't find those males attractive. If he wants a quality woman he needs to learn to be more assertive otherwise he's always gonna be targeted by gold diggers.

[@shizanketsuga8696]

16:31 I am a bit surprised that OP didn't pick up on this immediately. When somebody says they can't find something and then immediately tells me where it was when I tell them I found it that's as good aa an explicit confession. That "friend" is a thief.

[@LadyGoetz]

I believe the saying you’re looking for is “The best revenge is a life we’ll lived.” Cheers Mark :)

[@reganhillstead6099]

Story 2 - I don’t understand why a married woman would want to keep someone else’s wedding dress. WTH?

[@jacearmor5274]

S1: An emotional affair is still an affair!! Also just "kissing a couple of times" is a couple of times too many!! Another thing I'd do is get a new therapist. One who doesn't believe cheating, gaslighting, and lying is okay.

[@anndownsouth5070]

Mark, the quote you were thinking of is :"The best revenge is life well lived."

[@TwiggyHetfield27]

Story 2: it wasn't about "clutter" she, for some unknown reason, wanted the dress OR she was too lazy to go find it. She's had the damn thing for TWO YEARS! It was in her closet the whole time & she just didn't bother. My mom & I had some things stored at my grandfather's house. Our old apartment only had one closet so we asked if we could store some of our clothes at his house. When he died we informed my aunts (mom's sisters) about our things. They call us the day before the estate sale to "take what we wanted" Only to get there & find out they THREW OUT my dresses & mom's things. They literally said "oh we went through the closet & just threw it anything we didn't know." I barely spoke to them for years. One my relationships with one of them improved I had asked one day if my uncle could fix my laptop since he was good with computers. She took it & I didn't hear from her for WEEKS & I needed it for school. Only for her to call my mom & mom brought it up did she say "oh yea well, there was no saving it so we trashed it" Bitch had my number AND I would've taken the damn thing back if they couldn't fix it. Moral: Don't trust ANYONE even family with your stuff.

[@alg94]

I can't even wrap my head around cheating. how do these people sleep at night without anxiety? Im acquaintances with someone who isn't shy about their cheating and her situation makes ME anxious.

[@OZARKMOON1960]

#2 - Good on OP for taking the initiative and finding that dress. Agree with others, OP should not have said a word about it. Let friend find out it is gone - and if she dares to say squat about it, screw her!

[@louellacharlton4425]

Tyvm Mark stay safe please, peace.

[@SamanthaTotimeh]

Hey Mark! How's your Saturday so far??

[@TheIronwil]

Wedding Dress: First commenter hit it out of the park on the first swing… how DID OP’s friend know the dress was in her closet if she couldn’t find it? It was obvious she was lying from the start, but this is the verification she knew exactly where it was.

[@mogulmade]

THE DISRESPECT IS ENOUGH 🗣🗣🗣If you gaslight me and take me to therapy in that attempt, WE ARE OVER. I do not need to see any proof.

[@robare552]

Just do not gaslightning... Just throw in their face... "If you are right now gaslightning me, there is no way back". I wonder would the next exchange will be

[@TheAngel3821]

Getting ready for work and ran so fast when I saw you posted 😊

[@lorrainemontagnon1537]

Good morning Mark and to all the waffle gang! Hope everyone has a great day and a fantastic weekend! 😮 Hugs and kisses to Poppy from my little guy, Harry. ❤

[@slytherinlibrarian3501]

I know it helped OP get to the bottom of things, but can we all acknowledge how _wild and irresponsible_ that workplace is? OP called up and said that he was so-and-so's husband and he needed employee A's personal number for a social reason _and they gave it to him?!_

[@user-blob]

I was thinking the same thing! Crazy 😜

[@slytherinlibrarian3501]

@@user-blob dude, did you see the R/ video from a few months back where OP was being fantasised about by a male coworker who was heavily documenting it until she put in her two weeks and he decided it was time for a 'grand gesture?' I thought of that story and how bad it could have broken immediately.

[@reginarainer9740]

If I had lost my friend’s wedding dress, I would have literally ripped my home apart to find it. She was absolutely trying to steal that wedding dress and probably stole everything else that went missing during the reno.

[@chunkychick5193]

I absolutely love listening to you talk❤

[@kateemma22]

'Is it hopeless to keep trying?' Yes, yes it is. Roll credits.

[@mikef2811]

49 years and my gut has never failed me.

[@Henry.25]

“Is it hopeless to keep trying?” -Yes, it is.

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

Hey you yes you, take a deep breath let it out slowly, and lower your shoulders. Know that you are important to someone even if you feel like no one loves you, guess what I do. I'm so proud of you being here. Thank you. Now make sure you take care of yourself and drink some water, eat something and take a stretch break.💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗

[@Tijggie82]

lol indeed, don't hurt the plants!! 🥺

[@kumikor3392]

Story 1: I desperately need people to grow a spine. Stop dating if you can't stand up for yourself to people who matter. It's honestly sad to witness this self inflicted wound of a relationship. Let it go. OP deserves to be happy and safe and not walking on egg shells

[@ondank]

The cheating becomes irrelevant when she is a gaslighter. Like who cares what she did. What matters is that when she does something wrong she will make you think you're crazy for it. How can you have someone like that around you?

[@Ashbrash1998]

Story 1: It was over as soon as she hid the notifications. She's shown a consistant pattern if lying and manipulating with gaslighting and even using therapy to shame OP. Like even if you wanted to forgive the cheater and move past it, the FIRST STEP is the cheater telling the truth and laying it all on the table. Admitting how awful they were and how horrible their actions were without excuses. They can explain but not blame the other person.

[@worldissuesmatter1643]

Story2, I would have never mentioned that I found the dress. But I might plant shrimp in random hidden places.

[@NimbleSoulThief]

Story 1: I can't really blame OP for going a bit loopy. If there's ever a time for that, your world falling apart is that time.

[@Swnsasy]

Mark is here a bit early.. Awww, he likes us, he really likes us😂❤❤

[@onurkneezb]

Story 2: ESH, OP for believing this friend of hers and the ridiculous lies she threw OPs way...

[@VesnaVK]

Story 2: What does it mean for things to "get lost in a renovation"? Is this a thing that people understand what is meant by it? Is it a way to say that things get ruined by dust or construction materials? Is it a euphemism for saying that workers or movers steal things? Genuinely puzzled.

[@krazycats564]

I lose things all the time. I would NOT offer to take care of something important. I wouldn't trust myself.

[@elizabethrossi7604]

1: It doesn't matter whether or not she has had sex with him is immaterial. SHE HAS CHECKED OUT of your marriage. And once that trust is broken like that, you will NEVER get it back. Because you will always wonder about her.

[@MichuNako9]

Just a kiss is more than enough reason to separate. She even lied and took him to therapy

[@alisonsmith7162]

Story2: I'd have taken a photograph of where I found the dress, and rung the cops once she was back from holidays. Way worse consequences could have resulted than what OP did.

[@juresichj]

Really goid stories today!

[@peterhobson3262]

Last story: "Why were you rummaging through my closet?" "I was looking for my wedding dress that you stole from me."

[@christineh14]

I lent my maternity clothes from my first baby to a friend. After her baby was born I asked for them back as I was having another baby and she said she “lost” them. If I’d had a chance to look through her house for them I totally would have.

[@PuffyRedCloud]

Story 2: NTA I hope OP cuts ties with that 'friend' of hers.

[@KimberlyCaldwell-xb2if]

We only kissed, I lied because... even if that's true it is enough to leave her. She gaslight him to the extent he wasted his money on counsling and fooled him and the counsler she is trash.

[@tacooflove6175]

Story 1: allot of these stories if the OP took themselves out of it and asked if my best friend or younger sibling told me all of this what would I tell them to do? Would answer so many questions but most after typing it all out figure it out themselves.

[@mindyschocolate]

Wedding dress story: NTA. OP had to do what she had to do. Friend is low-key a thief.

[@cheskydivision]

I always wonder about the ppl that work so hard to rebuild trust and forgive. I’m one of those nutters that took back a cheater but I was clueless of the cheating till after he left and reconciled years later wash and repeat.

[@KE-hr4sb]

S1: To me, cheating is a deal breaker. It's even more so when 1) they don't admit to it themselves and 2) try to excuse it away, trickle-truth, gaslight, lie, blame the victim, and play every cheater excuse in the book of cheaters. She's not sorry, she's sorry she got caught and she (potentially) lost her safety net. Look at it this way: You already know you can't trust a word she says. Healthy relationships require trust to survive, and she shattered your trust. It's over. IF you were to reconcile, she'd have to take responsibility for her actions (which she's not), apologize (which it doesn't sound like she has), and work towards earning back your trust (eeh eeh). Quitting her job and cutting all contact with her AP should have been her first move. Instead, she's mad you're not believing her when she got caught lying, and is trying to pressure you into just letting it go so she can pretend it never happened and go back to having her safety net. "She doesn't want me to bring this up to my family..." So?? Why are you covering for a cheater? (Even IF it was "just" an emotional affair, which I don't believe, *that's still cheating!* ) And if she didn't want her actions to be talked about? Maybe she shouldn't have done it. "I have a much higher paying job..." We have a winner. News flash: This is why she's desperate not to lose you and "chooses you over him." Maybe see if she's willing to sign a postnup as terms for "working it out." I bet you dollars to donuts she'll have a fit, and you'll have your answer. "When asked why she wouldn't leave me, she talked about how comfortable her life was, how much money I made..." Called it. S2: NTA, it's your property. You didn't even lend it, she offered to keep it safe temporarily. I guess to her, the keywords were "keep it." IF she was being honest and had genuinely lost it, she should have torn that closet upside down trying to find it (I know I would have)...but she didn't. Maybe this is an upbringing difference where she was not taught to take better care of someone else's things than her own; or, maybe there's not an innocent answer.

[@MisterNightfish]

Story 1: Right from the outset you can tell this is doomed. The guy has zero self respect. That is why she feels comfortable doing this. Saw the DARVO coming a mile away. It's always the same playbook.

[@angietyndall7337]

Story 1: Why is it that people think just because their significant other bf, gf, or spouse didn't have sex with someone else, that they didn't cheat on you? I mean really!! Cheating is more than just someone having sex with someone other than the person they're with. Marriage however has higher stakes as your legally; etc. married. If they cheat before or after marriage, they do not respect you, the relationship, themselves, or others.

[@clover1593ify]

The best revenge is a life well lived

[@coreymartin6486]

She was a step up from a typical cheater....her boasting about proved she had no shame at all. I'm not surprised she wanted kids with him....it would be 18 years of alimony and child support.

[@brandyanderson3522]

Story #1 Not surprised the wife assumed the coworker would keep her secret. Three friends, two of which were close to OP (obviously BS), had kept the secret. Why would she expect this to be any different? I doubt this was the first time OP. Just the first you found out about

[@awomansstory.2019]

The pain of Infidelity is excruciating.

[@rebeccahayward9607]

Story 1: She had an emotional affair. Which is still an affair, so it really doesn't matter if they got physical. Does anyone else find it weird that OP is more concerned if they'd had s*x or not?

[@MrsLauraD]

Story 2: I wonder if the "friend" has hoarding tendencies and just couldn't let go of a wedding dress even though it wasn't hers. She would rather pay money for a new dress than let go of one in her possession.

[@patpaiz5693]

Second story. Mark, this is for you in answer to the comment about not understanding how a wedding dress could get lost in a closet. Oh, and OP is not an AH and I am glad she found the dress. Under the circumstances the friend should have been happy for OP and apologetic for not having found it herself. Now Mark--to you. It is more that possible to lose a valuable, distinctive, important item of clothing in a closet. First way, be a disorganized pack rat mess with way too many clothes, and some sloppy and airheaded ways. This is probably the biggest way an important item of clothing gets misplaced in a closet. I have been this person in my younger days when I was immature, always in a hurry, and had the added stress of living in places with small closets and no resistance to clearance racks. Second way is to be someone who is better at taking care of stuff and might even have a bit more room and a budding sense of organization, but perhaps not quite as careful when it comes to paying attention to the details. This is me now. In my case as the years have gone by have managed to have a closet that holds not only an assortment of my regular clothes be a very enclitic mix of formal gowns, vintage clothes, Belly dance costumes and a strange assortment of Halloween costumes along with scarves, shawls, hats, costume jewelry and other weird and wild stuff. It includes a few wedding gowns. Most everything is organized, like with like and then color with color. All long white formal gowns and wedding dresses are hanging up, but the reality is one wedding gown could like much like another. Thus, I can find myself frantically looking for something in the exact right spot, even have it in my hands a couple of times and just not realize it is there. So, Mark 2 weeks ago I was frantically looking for my fuzzy lilac Unicorn hooded onesie. It had to be in my housecoat, onesie, and glitter jumpsuit section but I couldn't find it. I was in tears and my daughter walked in, said mom, it is right her, and pulled it right out of the closet. So, Mark, it happens. But the difference is that I make it a point not to store other people's important cloths with my clothes. If it isn't mine, it is put someplace special and the person who it belongs to is told and shown where it is. And believe you me that if I can't find it, I will tear my house apart looking for it and their help would me more than appreciated.