I'm Banning Family Members From My Wedding Due To Hateful Uncle r/AITA Reddit Stories

[@MarkNarrations]

As always thank you so much for being you, stay awesome and have a great rest of your day or evening

[@bethanntay]

You as well. Thank you for the great stories and personality!.

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

You too m8🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗💜💜

[@chulutheimposter5415]

hadn't gotten the notif for this vid, I'm a bit annoyed about that XD, but at least it was on my recommended :)

[@katiesmith2031]

Thank you for being you. You are just a special and pure person never change

[@Mewse1203]

You too man!

[@LaineyBug2020]

The sketch artist, she should have immediately sent a reply terminating the contract instead of ghosting her and letting her go ahead with the project. To the artists out there, always get a deposit before you start work!

[@songohan3321]

That is the number one rule of R/choosingbeggars.

[@supergeeky7529]

exactly, this!

[@jasperj.d.g.4147]

Or at least put big annoying watermarks on it until payment

[@eloraandkhan3288]

I don't understand why she went through with the sketch after being accused of being fishy... At that point it'd have to be all payment up front or no job, from me.

[@amandabaker4678]

@@eloraandkhan3288 Because the op didn't tell the artist they thought the email address was fishy until after the artist had done the work.

[@AndyyWithAY]

OP in the story 3 is really lame. It's not at all weird to use another name in your email. There's a million non-scam reasons for that to be. It could've been her mother's email or something. Plenty of family members have different surnames. Instead of talking to Kate, he ghosted her and found another artist. He needs to be put on every blacklist there is for commissions. YTA 1 million percent

[@Park-Kim_VMin]

Exactly I have about 5 different Email's but none are in my real name.

[@zerobolt9506]

@@Park-Kim_VMin I thought it was a name tied to the email not a different name as part of the email itself

[@FrancisR420]

Especially if her name was like Mary Smith or something you cannot get the email for

[@shaymorcormick8743]

Nta if the artist wants to be professional have an email that isn't a red flag for scam

[@UzumakiDonnoHinata]

S3 YTA. I didn't use my legal name for art commissions for about 5 years. I do now, so my commission email doesn't match my brand. Doesn't mean I'm a fake. OP scammed the artist and SHOULD be blacklisted.

[@Park-Kim_VMin]

Agreed I had artwork done I paid for mine up front, and surprise surprise what the artist asked for.

[@UzumakiDonnoHinata]

Oh hi, Sir Mark, King of the Waffles! You and the waffle gang give me more support than I've ever gotten from my family. I tell my dad I got an academic award, he says, "ok, thanks for telling me." But you guys throw me a comment party when I simply pass my class. I wanted to let y'all know that you've made me cry happy tears and I appreciate you SO much. 😭❤

[@MarkNarrations]

Oh mate, you say "simply" but don't play down your achievement. It's great news and deserves the comment party

[@UzumakiDonnoHinata]

And this is why I cry. I love your heart. Thank you. 😭

[@Flufferz626]

Passing a course that gave you difficulty is definitely reason to celebrate! Awesome! Don't know you personally I'm so glad you're succeeding. Keep it up! 🥰❤️🥰❤️

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

I'm so proud of you, you did great. You are worth so much more than what he says. 💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗

[@katiesmith2031]

We will always be there for you that's the wonderful thing about Mark and his channel we are there for each other stay strong and remember you are loved remember you are a special and wonderful person never forget it I won't let you sending hugs

[@pansprayers]

Don't mess with people's food. Coffee, or otherwise. It sounds like the OP is communicating with their doctor, and if the doctor was worried, then they'd say something. When I was working as a dietitian, this kind of behaviour sent me through the roof. This boyfriend is scary.

[@Russman67]

Decaf is a LIE!

[@pansprayers]

@@Russman67 I mean, I've recommended it to people who need to lower their stimulants and just like coffee, but it does taste like sh*t, and comes with it's own problems.

[@Russman67]

@@pansprayers recommending is one thing. And I understand the recommendation. Making the choice for another adult and not telling them is another.

[@Ally.81]

@@pansprayers I actually had my doctor recommend me drink coffee because of my low blood pressure and now I have a normal one. So yeah at first I didn't like it, but it was better then take pills and I do have 2-3 a day I just put a lot of milk so non is strong. So he is so wrong and scary if he thinks is ok to change stuff like that without saying anything.

[@pansprayers]

@@Russman67 and, as stated in my original comment... Circle around, and don't act like I condone it.

[@Its_like_the_T-Rex]

Omg story 1. He cried? Sounds like someone's getting consequences for their actions. I wouldn't want a toxic family member or members around me under any circumstances.

[@pippo17173]

OP even mention it got that bad that he had to call law enforcement. Like what would even happen if he did attend there? If law gets involved, lord knows what he would do with a access to a wedding.

[@AndyyWithAY]

From the title for story 2 I thought OP would be the AH, but that's horrible what SIL did. A blanket, a bear, some socks, fine to take, but 2-3k worth of gifts and then this heifer sold it on Market Place. There's so many people with babies who honestly need help and she's taking it and selling it 🤬🤬

[@brigidtheirish]

*Agreed!* My parents couldn't *afford* brand new car seats for each of us and hospitals didn't have these sorts of things back then. Sure would've been handy. I *know* the same toddler seat was used for all four of us.

[@HighLordBaron]

Fuck yes. They are fairly well off. 100k per month?! And yet they accepted 2-3k worth of items, meant for people who have literally nothing! They ARE disgusting.....

[@thomasjoseph5876]

The hospital that both my wife and I work out of (she is an OB Nurse), hands out tons of stuff to new mothers regardless of their income. The reason behind this is, especially for things like child car seats and other things is that we purchase the very best top-of-the-line in regards to safety. You wouldn't believe some of the crap people come with, especially the used and outdated car seats. We get a lot of donations from private citizens and businesses to purchase these products. We give this stuff out for the same reason we go thru the proper way to secure a car seat and which way it should face, etc. because many people often have misinformation that could end up getting their baby hurt. Same things with cribs. If the people have a similar or same quality product and don't wish to have the items, they can give them back to us but we make sure everyone, regardless of income, has access to them if needed or wanted.

[@brigidtheirish]

@@HighLordBaron Pretty sure 100k is several times what Dad ever made in a *year.*

[@darkpone3731]

On the last one, everyone is defending the teenager but she is fifteen and old enough to watch what she said, everyone sucks there of course OP was offended, but she didn’t have to lash out like that, the bio dad was used but he opted out and didn’t get help, and the MIL predator is a monster

[@SheenaFujibayashisan]

He didn't opt out though? If you listen properly, he tried but MIL didn't LET him be around her for long. She purposefully created a divide.

[@thomasjoseph5876]

@@SheenaFujibayashisan I agree. I also don't think OP was that much of an A-Hole for yelling at a 15-year old that obviously is a spoiled brat and is allowed and enabled by her mother and step-father to act like a brat and call people names. She is old enough to realize you don't do that. Her bio-father obviously heard her call him the sperm donor while on the phone with her, how rude. If that was my kid she would have gotten a slap in the mouth and grounded with all electronics taken away for a month. How embarrassing to have your child act like that especially in front of others.

[@squirrel670]

@@thomasjoseph5876 lol what a slap in the mouth? If you think thats appropriate for a kid that doesn't understand this messed up situation then what are you doing with your life? Way to ensure that he's nothing to her at that point. He's barely even her parent and she has other options. You can't demand respect. It has to be earned and just because someone is young doesn't mean they don't see that. If someone isn't there for you most of your life how are you going to know they care or they would have if no one told you that? She's not some psychic and neither is no one else. They can only judge based on the action taken they can see.

[@thomasjoseph5876]

@@squirrel670 Your comment is nearly unreadable because of the poor grammar. It sounds however, as if you are going to end up raising a bunch of whining little Antifa babies in the near future. People, and even kids, aren't required to give blind unearned respect, but a properly raised child won't be running around disrespecting people either. Maybe mommy should have given you a few slaps in the face when you were growing up.

[@squirrel670]

@@thomasjoseph5876 Really, Antifa now? If a comment is too difficult to read due to a few missing commas, then I feel sorry for you. It's not okay to slap your kids and is scientifically proven to have negative effects on them. Becoming physically aggressive is one of those side effects and your "slaps for everyone" comment just proves my point. Anyone who says something you don't agree with should've been slapped. Is that really your viewpoint? Imagine thinking you're better than others because they can raise kids without beating them.

[@kaykay8855]

Story 1: NTA. You want people who love you at your wedding, not transphobic bigots. If your cousins because their bigoted uncle/aunt aren’t coming then they can kick rocks. Story 2: I was going to say YTA by reading the title but NTA. Her partner makes enough to support her and the baby and she’s selling them online! Blast them on social media if the hospital won’t do anything. Story 3: YTA for not communicating with her. You fired her for an email! She needs to take op to small claims courts. Story 4: NTA. Red flag 🚩 he didn’t even try to talk to you and is upset because you called him out.

[@brigidtheirish]

Story 2: Yeah, this is *fraud.* Story 4: Also, Grace is *not* a child. She is an adolescent. And the MIL is the *reason* OP's brother wasn't allowed around Grace.

[@jboy804]

@@F40PH-2CAT I know this is an older comment, but your transphobia is well noted. Of course you'd randomly bring that up.

[@brigidtheirish]

Am I the *only* person who has *any* sympathy for the fifth OP and her brother? That MIL *used and abused* him, probably convinced him he had no chance at getting custody (likely true, given how lopsided the courts are), and generally *drove him* to that dark psychological pit. Also, Grace is *not* a child! She's a young adult. Still developing mentally, but *not a child.* She should know the truth.

[@squirrel670]

How can she know the truth if no one told her? People out here acting like she's psychic when if someone is never there for you you would judge them based on that and you'd never know the reason if no one told you. Op should have talked to her in private. Parental alienation wouldn't be illegal if it didn't work.

[@pippo17173]

Honestly OP shouldn't have yell the child at the first place. MIL should still get that cold shoulder but the brother needs help because its so obvious he is still broken over this and op didn't at least try to give him that.

[@brigidtheirish]

@@squirrel670 *Has* no one told her? OP's brother is in contact with her and this isn't exactly the first time OP's seen her.

[@robertbishop5158]

@@pippo17173 MIL used OP's brother to get pregnant that's bordering On rape no wonder the brother has Problems. MIL needs to be prosecuted For this is disgusting on so many levels.

[@___o1799]

Grace is a child, she's 15. She's not old enough to have a driver's license yet (in the US).

[@AndyyWithAY]

Not gonna lie, I'd break up over this. If I wanted decaf, I'd drink frikkin decaf. If you have caffeine every day, you get bad withdrawals if you quit cold turkey. Don't ever touch my coffee! NTA ☕

[@Park-Kim_VMin]

😂 Same

[@BronzeDragon133]

I'm the reverse; I keep my caffeine levels very low because Mr. Arrythmia is unhappy if they go up. Give me full caf and things...Get Ugly. Touch my morning decaf tea and I'll happily reheat it in the microwave to 190 and then pour it over you.

[@clarebebbington9984]

@@BronzeDragon133 I have the same problem….15 years without caffeine due to arrhythmia

[@BronzeDragon133]

@@clarebebbington9984 There are many of us in the same boat. Up or down, don't fiddle with our caffeine dosages. We get annoyed, then angry, then vindictive...

[@brigidtheirish]

My dad *never* gets decaf. He's gotten it on accident a couple times and it had a bad effect on him. He suspects it was traces of the chemicals used to leech out the caffeine and became almost *paranoid* about avoiding decaf for a while.

[@pansprayers]

Life tip: Wedding, funeral, backyard barbecue. If you're paying for it, you don't have to invite anyone you don't want to. Any reason or no reason at all. And you don't have to explain or apologize.

[@pippo17173]

I hate how so many stories, you see these kind of people no matter the sex, gender, and race, pulling the *Its not fair* despite making it clear why their not doing it in the first place. Uncle is no exception and quite honestly, if law enforcement gets involved, you know how fucked up in the head he is.

[@BronzeDragon133]

Consequence Tip: However, if you're perceived as being arbitrary, expect to be judged accordingly. It doesn't apply in this instance, but can in the wider definition given here. (AKA "Free Speech and free action doesn't mean that there are no consequences. Always remember that, but also always remember that iconoclastic behavior can be fun, too.")

[@pansprayers]

@@BronzeDragon133 if you have people in your life that are toxic enough that the very thought of them makes your anxiety torque, third party judgement doesn't matter. That's neither free speech, nor freedom of expression. It's self care.

[@BronzeDragon133]

@@pansprayers It's kind of like the way I'm blocking you; you've annoyed me. I consider it self-care to get rid of people who have obviously intentionally misread what I wrote.

[@pansprayers]

@@BronzeDragon133 cool story. Last I checked, I started the comment thread, so you might want to work on that tolerance threshold, otherwise the world's going to be a pretty brutal place. Nobody begged you to add commentary.

[@alenasenie6928]

Story 5: NTA, it wasn't about her being loving to her father, is about her not being disrespectful, and she is being deliberately hurtful, I know that because my half sisters do this all the time, my father has flaws, but he has been good as a dad even when he is not good as a partner, yes, this kind of comments are immature and are something a 15 yo would say to be deliberately hurtful without thinking in the consequences, but someone has to say something or she will normalize that and never get the empathy needed to understand why things are like they are, her mother is not doing it, I hope this comment puts the seed on her mind to question her reality, see how her father is doing what he can, he is basically confronting trauma every time he goes to see her, people in the comments are downplaying this, he was abused as a young adult and a child was born, to see her he has to see the woman who abused him. I hope that kid realizes this at some point, her mother is an abuser and her father as a lot of strength to come back just because he loves her daughter despite her current attitude. In my opinion she is old enough to learn the full story. I mean, I learned my parents full story long before being a teenager and as a result I only appreciated more my mother and was the same towards my father, same with my brother, my half sisters on the other hand, they have been unable to separate who is my father as a father and who he is in other aspects, they are judging him for all his flaws without recognizing his virtues, even when I can see in their own stories how he has been there for them they can't, is just bizarre, I honestly don't think there is a good solution here, he will be always seen as less because there is too much influence from the mother, if she didn't immediately called out her daughter for being deliberately hurtful in front of him one can only imagine how she is "helping" (damaging, maybe just by inaction) the relationship.

[@Cell287]

This I agree with, this isn’t about being loving, it’s about being respectful.

[@Russman67]

Story 3: OP wasn't at risk for being scammed because of the different email address. No money exchange hands. They didn't ghost the artist, instead they wasted her time. I hope the artist blasts them online every place possible.

[@dawnsrequiem3882]

Im gonna say it because I haven't heard anyone mention it yet. In story 5, what I got out of that is the child was ON THE PHONE with the father when she said that. What are the chances he heard that? It's sad she thinks that way, but it cant be helped since she has likely been poisoned against him. But to say that while he is on the phone and could likely hear? That's just awful and fully deserved some kind of consequence or telling off.

[@squirrel670]

How would she know she's wrong to say that if she doesn't know the truth. Being punished for it isn't going to bring them together and only going to drive them further apart. Tell me how punishing her would make it better? So she can be friendly to his face to cut him off asap? At least he knows how she feels and she's not lying so they can do something about it because they were still interacting. Someone needed to tell her the truth and not say she's a spoiled brat because of parental alienation or anything else like that.

[@dawnsrequiem3882]

@@squirrel670 At 15, even if shes been brainwashed against him, she should know better than to say something that could hurt another person when they can hear it. She doesnt have to build any type of relationship with him and he shouldn't expect her too. But the very least she can do is be cordial with him. She doesnt have to like him, but she shouldn't be mean and cruel by saying harsh things like that where he can hear. Shes almost an adult at this point and if she doesnt want a relationship with him, she can have an actual conversation telling him how she feels and that she doesnt want anymore contact with him as a father figure, not by saying something that could be seen as an insult when he's trying to at least keep contact with phone calls.

[@squirrel670]

@@dawnsrequiem3882 She thinks he doesn't care enough to be hurt by it. It's clear how she feels so he can do something about it. He is the adult and supposedly has his life together and she is just 15 and immature. Other people can tell her the truth calmly and show her the right way. She might not feel strong enough to ask but the comments seem to come from a place of hurt or else she wouldn't have said anything. If she really didn't care she wouldn't be talking to him. The father can have a talk with her, op can pull her to the side. From her viewpoint he abandoned her so it doesn't make sense for him to be hurt. We have all the facts and she doesn't and no one cared to tell her properly. You understand how to interact with people first from your interactions with family, and she clearly has terrible examples. I think other people should guide her the right way and op is weak and a coward for taking out their hate for the MIL on the daughter.

[@Azulakayes]

Grace is a AH even if she is a child and MIL too. Why use such awful language? Why did MIL poison her? Why are people allowing kids to use the word 'sperm donor', she could say 'bio dad'. Why are people okay with raising little insulting brats? I am with OP here and I know I would have said worse. I hope OP can use this as a way to get out of those family dinners and visiting her predatory MIL.

[@PrincessJax268]

@@squirrel670 I don't think she did. She called her niece because she is a spoiled brat. The thing that everyone seems to be looking past is that Op states that she just cares about her rich stepfather and the car he's buying her when she turns 16. And from the way niece is acting she is a spoiled brat. She's acting like a disrespectful, rude, hateful spoiled brat. Also at 15 she's old enough to be called on her bullshit. If you don't nip shit like that in the bud quickly kids grow up to be entitled assholes and we certainly don't need anymore entitled assholes on the world.

[@SheenaFujibayashisan]

It might just be the way I was raised, but for the last story its an ESH leaning towards a NTA for me. Grace had no tact there, and while people excuse her as being a teenager, she's old enough to have enough sense of mind not to say shit like that in front of her bio dad's sibling. When OP ain't around? That's fine. But that just reinforced to OP that that family is something she desires to cut out completely, now including the kid. OP sucks for going a little too far, but just for that. She was absolutely right to snap on the kid because the kid was acting like a shitty niece. MIL is a predator and absolute garbage of a human being. And the brother doesn't suck at all. From how I read it, he got into a really bad slump he tried to control and get out of, and didn't want his daughter seeing him in such a poor state, which is entirely understandable. I also wonder if maybe he did try to reach out to her, but either MIL denied it or the daughter just didn't understand. If I were OP and brother, I'd say fuck the obligatory shit and just cut that entire group out. Leave them to rot for all they care.

[@brandonwilliams2188]

You are right and I am shock nobody said this.

[@blandoatmeal1273]

Yeah all the people saying it's the brothers fault that grace thinks of him that way are missing a big part of the picture. Mil was in a position of power over the brother the entire relationship. She was the one that told him he shouldn't be apart of their daughters life and did actively try to avoid them having to much contact. So brother was kicked out of a relationship that he was not in control of and then manipulated into not being part of his daughters life. If I were him of course I'd have some problems getting my life together. Then from Grace's comments it's obvious the story she's been told is that the brother never wanted to be there, that mil had to force these visits on him etc. Especially considering op says she already disliked mil because of how she treated herself before all of this started. It's clear MIL is the biggest ah by far.

[@squirrel670]

@@blandoatmeal1273 I don't even think its a question that mil is an ahole. She took advantage of a young man, had his kid, prevented them from interacting, and has her daughter thinking he's trash. She is obviously an ahole.

[@aphelion4616]

That story does mention that, even in that 'slump' after thry rboke it off, the slag of a MIL convinved him to not put his name on the birth certificate, using the fact he wouldn't have to pay support or anything that way, a sa tactic. Now that she convinced him of that, she has full custody without contestation and can deny him visitation; Which she did. OP stated MIL limited Grace;s bio father's contact on purpose when he did reach out to try and see her. he was denied so much he stopped trying it seems and it also seems Grace was most likely never told the truth.

[@Flufferz626]

All this drama is why my husband and I eloped lol. Just went out and had a good vacation with him after. Been together 16 years so a fantasy wedding isn't needed. I'm glad they stood up for their significant other instead of "keeping the peace" that so many families guilt victims into doing.

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

Ooo fun

[@MsUnamusedNerd]

STORY 3: *YTA* you agreed to hire her then ghosted her because you didn’t like her email address? Then call her a scammer when she delivers the work when she had no clue you didn’t want it because you ghosted her……… wow this is a new way for artists to get screwed over out of being paid for their hard work. Op better pay for the artists time.

[@Homewarfare]

Story 5 is an ESH from me, like the whole situation is dumb and if what Grace said wasn't a joke OP was ok to call it out but she went to far with what was said and the MIL is just a slag.

[@yaapokuaboateng3075]

OMG your comment made me laugh 😂 I haven’t heard the word slag in years. We used it a lot at school in the 70’s

[@lina9535]

​@@yaapokuaboateng3075 I watched so much RT content so slag is in my vocabulary (thanks to Gavin 😂) and I love it

[@LaineyBug2020]

Dump the Decaf boyfriend. Replace all food & drink in house. & check meds for tampering...

[@Park-Kim_VMin]

This Exactly

[@healing_and_humor4530]

Story 5... Wait...What??? I'm still trying to draw that family tree and it keeps circling around on itself in my head. I just can't. What. The. Actual. Fuck is happening?

[@jamisonosborne]

Story 1: NTA Anytime someone tries to assure you that someone won't do anything bad what they are actually doing is admitting they are a bad person. Good people don't need defending.

[@pippo17173]

Ya like how many times do we hear about these people causing shit for giggles. Stomp out the problem as soon as possible and let them rot.

[@natlisan]

As an artist who does commission's myself, I don't even start the work without a 50% non-refundable deposit just for this reason!!! I also send the client a very detailed contract to sign so that they then can't come back saying that they didn't agree to the terms stated. You should have contacted Kate to terminate your verbal contract, not just ghost her!!! or at least compensate her for the work she completed. Also at that price Kate was giving you one heck of a deal $100 for ten hours of work, WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YTA!!!!!!!!!

[@Pikeya]

Story 1, I'd made Dad pay a bond say $20k. If Unlce fucks up ONCE, i get to keep the money. See if Dad is willing to put money where his mounth is

[@BW022]

Story 1: OP... hire security. Wouldn't surprise me if uncle, aunt, and cousins show up to cause problems. Send a letter to anyone threatening not to show up that they are no longer invited and have security call the police they second any of them show up.

[@nationalinstituteofcheese3012]

If you’re happy without a relative at your wedding, you don’t need them in your life

[@mkuti-childress3625]

My mom is a retired ICU/Critical Care nurse. An entire shift of doctors, nurses, and support staff all started having really bad headaches and fatigue at the same time. They were all concerned that they had caught a virus, and they started worrying about whether they could pass it on to the patients or their families. After days of this, one of the nurses admitted that she had emptied the coffee container and put decaf in there, instead. She said she was just trying to help them. The entire staff was murderous toward her for a while. That’s such a horrible thing to do!

[@Deaznkid280]

Story 3, straight up AH. Should have reached out to ask if that was the correct email first before assuming. I commission art all the time and ran into the same situations, I always ask about contact info if I’m unsure.

[@johntremble7993]

Op should tell grace EVERYTHING

[@fawnahearts]

I worked at Starbucks in my early 20s and a heavily pregnant lady ordered some espresso. A coworker hit decaf shots. She did not order decaf. I dumped them so fast and took over the drink. It is not our place to make choices for others in any situation. You don't KNOW their medical or dietary needs.

[@eliability]

Story 3, as an artist myself I would lose my mind if someone ghosted me after I spent what could’ve been hours of work. Considering I do mine free and put so much of my time into them, not counting how hard it is to stay motivated, what the actual heck. YTA 100000000%

[@oakenshadow6763]

Story 3: OP did not cancel the job, therefor must pay for work done. Period.

[@eliability]

Drawing and enjoying Mark once again! May post this one in the artist’s studio so the members can see it 🤔

[@blackwolf1216]

Last story ESH, OP for flipping out so hard on a teenager who probably doesn't know the full story, the teenager for calling her bio dad a sperms donor whilst he could hear, the MIL for taking advantage of OP's brother then cutting him off when she realised she was pregnant also for clear parental alienation, OP's brother for not trying hard enough to get his shit together and be in his daughters life early on.....the only person I can't really say sucks is the stepfather and that's cause the only info we got about him is that OP doesn't like him and he spoils the teenager

[@yellit1975]

1. NTA. Your wedding, your invites. Good for OP for supporting the friend. 2. NTA. I’d be going low / no contact with SIL. She isn’t going to get any better. 3. YTA. OP had a contract with the artist. Sounds like OP was the scammer. 4. NTA. I’d be considering getting a new partner, sounds like a controlling person. 5. ESH, apart from Grace. MIL is truly awful but OP isn’t much better. I think OP needs therapy and to be no contact with MIL.

[@ilbercgross4736]

Story 5. A lot of people call their bio parents the "egg layer" or "sperm donor". Sometimes it is a mean thing, sometimes it is a jest. Sort like when I am out with the wife and one of us jokingly says "keep that up and you can walk home, now make me a samwich". Our most common reply is "I have to keys and there is no bread". Just light hearted jokes. But the teen is not wrong with what she says. He was not there to raise her and this is reddit after all. Sperm donor is a common thing to call a bio dad. I am she the teen has been on reddit more than once.

[@Gloria-ro4vn]

If you suspected Kate was a scammer, then you have told her, not ghosted her.

[@mca7982]

#1 NTA - why is OP even asking if she had to tell uncle not to harm BFF a decade ago. #2 DISGUSTING! Very low behavior.

[@ScarabD]

Oh, so Op is overreacting for not wanting somebody at her wedding who will spew hatred at her best friends, but blatant transphobic insults and generally being a pr*ck to somebody because you don't get their lifestyle is a-okay? Her aunt SHOULD be crying. She deserves to be crying. She deserves to feel like her vile behavior has consequences.

[@locusxe1411]

Story 3 YTA- Wow. My email address is is something like WaterRuler. You think that’s my name? You’re a scammer. If you had a problem with it then you could have asked. She did the work so you pay her for it

[@SkyEcho751]

Story 1: NTA, but I would want to know how bad their manipulation goes, since OP says that the wife/aunt resorted to a common tactic for her. Story 2: NTA and you should report what they did to the hospital as what they did might constitute a crime.(Or I guess not because it might do nothing.) Story 3: YTA because OP didn't actually pay anything. PLUS, it popped in my head that she might have been using a pen-name, so that people might not connect her with her artwork, that way she could avoid any family going "Oh make this $200 item for free". Not in this case but ya, I though about the pen-name prior to the comment mark showed. Story 4: NTA, I will continue saying this "Many people will judge based on their own intentions while judging others by their actions", I believe you should judge by both actions and intentions. In this case while he might have had the intention of helping, his actions border on abuse, because what will he do next, spike your food with a relaxing agent because your stressed? Tampering with food is a crime, and intentionally changing food without the person's go ahead is only barely on this side of legal.(Originally though this was going to be about takeout coffee, not stuff made at home) Story 5: Ya, I'm going to say ESH, since I'm more then willing to bet that the MIL poisoned the well, and OP snapped really hard at a kid who likely doesn't understand any better. And as a note, reasoning DOES matter on why her father wasn't in the picture, and while in this case it isn't as severe, I distinctly remember one case where the OP didn't even know about his kid until the kid contacted him.

[@brigidtheirish]

Story 5: The commenters are all *horrible.* The brother was *used and abused.* Fathers *can* fight for custody, but it's *hard* and they're often told not to bother. Grace needs to know the *truth.* Maybe OP shouldn't have snapped like she did, but I think it may have been *necessary* to get the kid to *wake up.* She's not some clueless child, she's a *teenager* and able to use *reason.*

[@technicaldifficulties368]

@@brigidtheirish We're not really discussing all that though. As far as Grace is concerned her biological father has never really been there for her and now has a new family. Of course she will think of him as a sperm donor. If OP hates that family so much she should cut them off instead of festering in bitterness

[@tomsautocadstudio6446]

@@technicaldifficulties368 it is hard for men to win in family court though and she was an abuser and also it probably hurt the mother in law to have her kid spoken to like that so karma.

[@sammicunniam3992]

The post said that MIL didn't want the father around at all. I bet that she made it as hard as possible for him to see her on the occasions he did. MIL has obviously poisoned Grace against her dad.

[@technicaldifficulties368]

Still not the point guys. From the child's perspective her bio dad was never there for her. She may understand better as she gets older, but she doesn't know or understand all the subtext.

[@mikeremski2102]

"It's just decaf" Yeah and decaf coffee can trigger migraines in some people.

[@valeriejames4675]

Story 1. Trans woman here! OP gets an 11/10 from me! She is the ally we need. I have a couple friends like her and let me tell you, it makes life so much better for us! OPs aunt, uncle, and cousins can get fucked! The aunt and uncle for being sentient garbage and the cousins for supporting that!

[@eileen58]

Story 2: The SIL is definitely TA. When I had my baby, my best friend offered to sign me up for a meal train. My husband had prepared some meals for us for after the birth, so I told her no, it should be saved for people that need it. You can also get the essentials for baby during your baby shower, we are not super well off, we get by and that’s how I got my baby essentials. It is rude to take resources from people less fortunate, they aren’t unlimited.

[@yobabycolin2933]

Story 3: Who else thinks OP planned on scamming the artist and used the shady-looking email as an excuse?

[@zerobolt9506]

It doesn't fit though, so I don't think that was their plan

[@LadyJoolree]

That boyfriend who changed OP's coffee is a wrongun! Anyone who tampers with your food and tries to rugsweep you has got to go. It shows his lack of communication, respect and care. He knows she is under a doctor's care, but disagreed with their advice and secretly acted on it as if he knew better and says 'it's no big deal, stop being immature, I know what's better for you'. She must have showed signs she was struggling and he STILL didn't say anything until she said she was going back to the doctor's. This is the kind of guy who would spike your drink so you could give him a 'good time'. He's bristling with red flags! What else is in her diet that may not be what it seems? Is he poisoning her in the first place? 😳

[@immortalsofar5314]

The thing about helping people is that any background checks etc filter out more needy than hucksters. I pointed out to the Food Bank that I would not refuse anyone because they didn't have the right paperwork - if they're there, they probably need it. One very well dressed lady in a new Lexus turned up and, having told her that we would definitely help, I asked her what her story was. She'd woken up one morning to find her husband gone, the accounts empty and little left in the house. I always helped everyone above and beyond and if ripping us off was how they got their jollies then I pitied them.

[@ebayrose]

Story 2: the wealthy couple getting charity don't realize that it's going on their taxes that they've accepted this handout.

[@cheskydivision]

I would have contacted the hospital and told the about the story. I have a former friend that used to sign up for every charity and food bank. Most thanksgivings she would get 4to 6 free turkeys with all the fixings. It’s sick.

[@47896285pgdfzgnd]

S5 OP says they have obligatory dinners but... no you don't. You are fully allowed to put your foot down and say 'because of what she's done, I don't want to see her at all'. I guess OP might have gone to see her Niece but surely that means that OP might be seeing the niece more than the brother? This is a nightmare of a situation

[@indianspartan76]

Story 5: F that! OP NTA

[@jessicadias5014]

So last OP has a MIL that treats her terrible, has upended HER family and she still remains in contact?

[@MrAlwaysOnTen]

10 hours for 50 bucks that’s 5 dollars an hour

[@bethanntay]

Stay safe everyone. Wishing everyone a wonderful evening/ day!!. Story 1 NTA

[@TorchT]

Story 4: NTA, he didn't tell you, Fucking with you Food/drink. Also if I was OP I would kick my partner's ass, because I am a Caffeine Lover. Edit forgot to add, changing to decaf is like change no sugar sweetener to a full sugar for a diabetic, it can hurt people

[@HannaFardew]

Story 1: NOPE, NOPE, NOPE, NOPE, OH HELL NO!!!! You are NOT the asshole. Ban those toxic people from your wedding and cut them out, your life is better off without them, trust me. I banned my mom, step-dad, and father from my wedding and my mental health has improved since cutting them out as well

[@singer2be256]

My family has always been in favor of traditional marriage, but they'd never shame lgbt people. I had a friend in high school who was gay. They figured it out far sooner than I did but it didn't change the way they acted towards him. Even great-grandma, born in 1925 to Catholic parents, treated him like he was part of the family and he always loved to come over and just chill with us all. We all adored him.

[@Digitalfairy]

That's sweet. :)

[@eloraandkhan3288]

Story 4: I believe OP has the same disease I have. If that's the case (since she gets fatigued and weak without caffeine), that means she has a thyroid problem, where her thyroid isn't producing enough "wake up" hormone. Caffeine can stimulate the thyroid into action. Caffeine is a way to basically extend the functionality of your medication if you've already been on it a while.... The medication loses efficiency over time, but nobody likes to get doses adjusted because the side-effects can be kind of intense (and disruptive). As I type, I just took my dose and am following it up with a coffee, but some days I don't need to.

[@alisonsmith7162]

Story1: haven't any of the people in the story thought about streaming the wedding. Then the uncle and aunt can say what they like and still 'enjoy' the wedding, and no one can hear them scream!

[@cynicalminion]

i fully understand questioning an artist on why they're using an email that doesn't match their identity (i get that artists would go by a different name, but not why one wouldn't have an email set up under their work id, even if it's just a throwaway gmail), but that has nothing to do with refusing to pay someone you've commissioned. YTA.

[@RoseT20]

Story 2, OP is NTA, the SIL and her husband are. Those supplies are supposed to be for those that actually need it. I'd tell the hospital just incase SIL has another kid. A needy family would've loved to receive all those baby supplies.

[@eowyn8340]

Story 4: as someone who has a specific diet because of medical reasons, definitely NTA. I can’t have tea or other leafy greens (spinach, kale, etc) that have high levels of oxalates because I will get kidney stones. (Can’t have soy products either, so no vegan lifestyle for me.) Someone tampering with my food could land me in the hospital. I would never tolerate anyone tampering or trying to control my diet.

[@willj24]

Does anyone else think that the mother-in-law in the last story encourage the brother to opt out of fatherhood mostly to save her own ass? I don’t know about the situation there, but in most colleges professor who is found to be having an affair with a student would be in deep poop.

[@willj24]

In other words, she is the huge villain in the story. The OP probably should have recognized the niece wasn’t given the proper information, but several of the comments make it sound like the brother chose to opt out, and it sounds more like the professor pushed him to do it.

[@LilChuunosuke]

*Story 1:* NTA from the title. First few sentences secured it. If there was ever an excuse to not invite family to a wedding, it's that they'll endanger the safety and wellbeing of the people present. . *Story 2:* NTA. It's bad enough they're taking resources for poor families, but now they're trying to turn a profit on the things they didn't like??? Disgusting. I lowkey agree with blasting them on social media. . *Story 3:* YTA. I am an illustrator who takes commissions. I have two emails I use for commission work: one for communicating with clients who choose email, one which is linked to my PayPal (so they don't just try to send me the money when I need to create an invoice). If I forgot the former email address, I'd use the latter or one of my other personal emails. I'm not going to delay recieving income because I was locked out of one of my 7 email addresses. If they wanted to find a new artist, they should have notified the artist immediately before they could proceed with the piece. Also, I limit the use of my full legal name as much as realistically possible on my page. Not just because it doesn't match my brand, but I have been a victim of domestic violence multiple times and have suffered from stalkers in the past and present. I keep personal information to a minimum for my own safety.

[@TheHellsHobbit]

#1 NTA, Your wedding your guest. Good for protecting your friend. people like your Uncle and Aunt have no place there.

[@Hellion912]

The only time car seats cannot be regifted is if they are involved in an accident that damages the structural integrity.

[@CarinaCoffee]

Swapping coffee story: something I want to point out besides the obvious "you don't mess with other people's beverages/foods/meds" is that this shines a light on fatigue that is a common issue with a lot of chronic diseases, yet people don't take it seriously, because it's one of these invisible disabilities. There's something called "The spoon theory" that chronically ill people use. A spoon is a unit of energy. Healthy people have an almost unlimited number of spoons, but chronic illness can mean you only have a limited amount of spoons and each tasks takes a certain amount of spoons, so getting out of bed, getting dressed and going to a doctors appointment can use up an entire day's worth of spoons for someone. Something like a visit to a doctor or doing the shopping takes up more energy than say surfing the internet, so on some (or most days) doing the shopping gets left behind, because there are no spoons left for such a energy sucking activity. (There's also something known as crip time explaining that all tasks healthy people do take additional time for people with disabilities and some chronic diseases.) A lot of people don't understand or factor in how much of a bother fatigue can be and how it can seriously impact your daily life. I feel like thanks to Long Covid more people care about or are aware of it, but too often it's still something people with chronic illnesses have to extra point out.

[@badkitty4922]

Wow! Actually very nearly on time! Yayyy!!❤❤😘😘👍👍

[@manuelromero8837]

The transphobia in that first story sounds more like poorly disguised trans-philia or misplaced self loathing

[@damien678]

It's transphobia. There's no reason to think otherwise. I know you didn't mean it this way, but saying this sort of thing ends up just blaming transphobia on us trans people.

[@thedestroyasystem]

@@damien678 agreed. A lot of prejudice is rooted in personal insecurity, but that doesn’t make it any less bigoted.

[@VesnaVK]

Last story: "she doesn't make any effort to reach out to her bio dad..." Not her job. She is the child.

[@snapdragoon1236]

I laughed at that one comment saying “it’s doesn’t matter if the mom makes it hard, fathers can fight for custody” dude was mentally ill and in college, with what money? Also if a mom is making it hard for a dad to see the daughter than it’s borderline impossible for that man to see him bc she can say 1 word and ruin his life. That’s all it takes it doesn’t even need to be a true allegation.

[@ajillofmanytrades8638]

The stats alone on trans folks alone beinnging ended in violence from the 60s - 80s alone is disgusting , I am tired of people using crying as a manipulation tactic ; its pathetic. 86 them from the wedding and family.

[@slothdance2020]

I have a chronic illness and if I started to get worse and had not made changes (knowingly) I would totally panic. My disorder is progressive and thee is no cure. I can only imagine how she must have felt feeling worse and not knowing why and being worried her disorder might be progressing and that the treatments might not be working and sitting there wondering how many more tests, new medication, potential new side effects, all the sh*t that comes with a chronic illness.

[@Mewse1203]

Story 4: NTA he doesn't get to just decide what's right for her. If he had a concern, he should have been an adult and communicated the issue to her. The fact he didn't is extremely worrying. And the thing is, he knows why she drinks coffee. He knows she uses it as part of her health issues and that it has a positive effect on her. Taking it away without her knowledge is malicious and disgusting. It's like he wanted her worries and sick. He secretly swapped out her coffee and left her to worry that something was wrong. OP should absolutely end this relationship as anyone willing to secretly tamper with your food and not respect your autonomy isn't good partner material. This was super controlling and wasn't "caring" in the least. What else has he changed without OPs knowledge?

[@schnebot]

thank u Mark for not singing the intro. instant thumbs up.

[@mariethedicedragon5977]

On the coffee thing: I am on meds for ADHD but I also have issues with sleep causes by both the ADHD & chronic pain caused by EDS. Yes, I have a lot of coffee. Yes I need more sleep. No, switching me to decaf will not cause my lack of sleep/energy to magically be cured 🤷‍♀️

[@MsUnamusedNerd]

STORY 4: *NTA* doing a nice thing without telling them is buying them a gift or cooking them their favorite dinner. Can you imagine if OP was on medication that they severely needed (like medication to keep your heartbeat regulated) but it had very troubling side effects that were obvious to notice & boyfriend swaps them out with sugar pills? Under no circumstances should anyone mess with someone’s food or beverages. If he was concerned about café coffee causing any type of affects he should’ve been an adult and communicated to OP about it instead of treating OP like a child .

[@eowyn8340]

Exactly. That’d be like some getting me a latte and after I’ve been drinking it saying “by the way, that’s a chai tea latte.” I’d be like “great!! Now I’m going to get a kidney stone and probably have a hospital visit you jerk!” (Tea causes me to have kidney stones.) Messing with people’s food/drink is no joke. And it’s not caring when it’s done without their knowledge.

[@Mewse1203]

Story 3: YTA if OP had concerns, she should have CANCELED THE COMMISSION. Instead she ghosted Kate, super unprofessional BTW, without telling her not to work on the thing. Kate fulfilled her side of the contract and OP owes her the money. You don't make a deal with someone, then just bounce out after telling them to get started. If you've told them to start, it's on you to tell them to stop, and if you don't, you owe them. Also, how did she think the scam was going to work? And doesn't everyone have weird named emails? For the longest time, my email was "lovebuzzjunkie" ffs...

[@gypsygem9395]

Love that email 😂

[@fionaeckert4556]

One of my professors at university told us we should think about getting some kind of "professional" email address... far too often was she dealing with a "hasipupsi0912" or "dude-with-big-cojones". She simply couldn't take them serious anymore.

[@bailee3313]

The general rule for car seats is to discard them and stop using them if they are in an accident from which the car cannot be driven away. Otherwise they can be used for a long time and even for multiple kids.

[@FredRated1967]

On that coffee story, OP should swap her boyfriend's Hershey bar with an ExLax chocolate bar.

[@kerribottriell-baxter7345]

Never, ever mess with my coffee! I am not kidding on that.

[@Mewse1203]

Story 1: NTA Say it with me folks "my my my, if it isn't the consequences of our actions." OP doesn't have to invite anyone for any reason but the fact that OP has GREAT reasons is icing on the cake. They can cry all they want, but it's THEIR behavior that is the reason for this. Maybe if they were better people they would have gotten an invite. They aren't owed an invitation just because they're fAMiLy Edit after comment by OP: Op was already in the right, but Jesus titty fucking Christ, why would OP'S dad be so insistent for someone like that at OP's wedding.

[@OZARKMOON1960]

#4 - how about OP switch; milk for almond milk, meat for vegan crumble and burgers, a different grain for rice? she is NTA, but the BF sure is. mess with my coffee and face my wrath!

[@damien678]

I LITERALLY GASPED hearing that in S2 SIL was gonna sell those items on marketplace. what the f*** wtf wtf wtfwtfwtffffff.

[@gypsygem9395]

Me too!

[@GMWILD87]

Story 4 OP: I slept for 13 hours BF: oh I put sleeping pills in your drink last night you looked tired OPs expected response oh thank you for caring OPs real expected response THE FUCK YOU JUST SAY? Yeah OP needs out that's fucking insane Yes hypothetical but not out of the realm of possibility with someone like that.

[@jennabrazel7860]

lady with expensive BMW turned up to a foodbank in the UK

[@beckyhartley9502]

Story 3: Yes op is the AH in this one. But paying full up front Mark? No. No, no and once again no! I was personally scammed out of $300 by someone called Scribbling Riolu (they changed their handle to Scribbling Lemon). They took money from a ton of people to secure a place on their comission list and ran off with the money. I pay deposits now but I also have one artist who I'm a repeat customer who invoices afterwards (I did ask him if he wanted a deposit). Where as OP is right to be wary of scammers, they weren't in a position where they could be a victim.

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

Whoever is reading this i send hugs and great vibes. Drink water, eat food, nap, take a break, take care of yourself gosh darn it. And if you don't I swear I will find you and keep you in a cottage and take care of you. 🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗💜💜

[@katiesmith2031]

Hugs and great vibes back 🤗🤗💙💙🤗🤗💙💙

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

@@katiesmith2031 💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗

[@tuckersontim]

In the last story. Why is. No one talking about how the childs mother took advantage of OP's brother and should have been fired from her position for sleeping with a student.

[@huinismith]

Story 2 gets worse and worse. OP, NTA. SIL is indeed disgusting.

[@Charles-sd7xu]

Woahhh story four was already gonna be a NTA from me cus I assumed it was like at a coffee shop but it was her boyfriend??? Hell nah. I used to be a barista and I would switch out peoples coffee all the time and so would everyone else just cus it’s an exhausting job that requires high speed and we would make mistakes and I woulda understood if anyone was ever upset with us over it but her BOYFRIEND???? DOING IT ON PURPOSE???

[@littleflame5530]

I'd contact the hospital and link them to the market place. This is wrong.

[@rinpaisys]

Story 4: that is called food tampering and that is somewhat illegal for good reasons.

[@nancyt2848]

Switch my coffee to decaf (🤮) and I would be packing my bags. He would be lucky to just survive.

[@poetryqn]

Story 4 (coffee): Look. I'm all for open communication, and the boyfriend could have easily mentioned switching out OP's coffee for decaf, BUT 'rethinking' the whole relationship seems a step too far (depending on HOW he acted when confronted.) For Pete's sake, the man is MAKING AND BRINGING YOU COFFEE. Personally, if a man brings me morning coffee he's a PRINCE in my book. (Few things better than waking to the aroma of brewing coffee, or seeing my partner bringing me a steaming hot mug of java as my waking sight - that's such a thoughtful gesture!) The LAST thing I'm gonna do is warn him he's on thin ice if he prepares it 'incorrectly' or switches to decaf. Who does the marketing? Who buys the decaf? Who brews the coffee? This could have been a calm, loving discussion. Instead, Princess Starbucks chose to threaten rather than teach. That's miscommunication 101. I understand both her concern and his confused hurt.

[@toxicdotaep2890]

the email story weirds me out. as an artist working under my real name but having had (in the past; now I have a personal email neither of my parents get into :] ) emails set up under my deadname, it kind of... makes sense? that sometimes email names dont match up. even for people who arent trans, they can have screen names v legal names, where when you wire something through PayPal you'll see their real name (and have to be all I Do Not See It about it). plus the artist gave OP the work, so...

[@TsukiKageTora]

I think for story 2, OP needs to inform the hospital about the issue with the sister in law so they can take it up whatever way they need. It’s scummy as fuck to take from struggling people and sell it to make yourself a profit when you aren’t struggling financially.

[@kolonarulez5222]

I read "banning" as "banging" and was quite concerned lol

[@dancereridanus6735]

Honestly, speaking as an enby, I would give my right arm for a friend as good as OP in story 1. Absolutely NTA. Story 2's OP's statement may have been rude, but that woman knew what she was doing. It's fucking gross that she even thought about selling that stuff, let alone do it. Definitely NTA.

[@dune3001]

As someone who takes commission work sometimes, that lady was just trying to get out of paying, no doubt about it. Different name on an email?! WTF, I have an email that is named after a favourite book, sometime I use it if there are problems with the name one. The OP is the one that sounds like a scammer, I think the artist is better off without her as a client.