Matt McCusker Opens Up About His Former Life of Crime

[@marshallwilson3668]

“No, because they were my enemies” sounds like the Viking shaman 🤣🤣

[@johnshaw4137]

432HZ

[@rare5960]

he was being DEAD serious. His face when he said it actually made me laugh.

[@JoeMACofNAC]

I fucking love Matt 😂

[@collincrawford9180]

@@rare5960kjjk

[@collincrawford9180]

😅😅😮😊

[@juice2620]

"even if I'm a thief dude that doesn't mean you should be gay" - This podcast has some banger jokes.

[@OfficialElljay]

just be glad he’s not a gay thief. cause that ass would get taken 🤣😭

[@tq6892]

Two wrongs don’t make a right - McCusker

[@samx2222]

Out of all the guests that have been on this podcast, Matt is the only person that genuinely seems to be on the same wavelength as Theo

[@taviantownsend5192]

Matt is the perfect bro friend. Everyone deserves a friend like Matt

[@bigmoose99]

You have one. It’s the friend that lies about dumb stuff and you let it slide.

[@kaymillerfromTX]

“I think he was gay” he said after taking his bros underwear lmao 😂 Theo is too funny.

[@0scarWalsh]

This guy sold percs in southside Philadelphia, this is not him opening up about his criminal past 💀

[@gank9]

came here to say this lmao, the shaman used to sling

[@bigmoose99]

I’m from Delco and have known many of these guys. Not one was a decent person.

[@allenjanvalie]

the level of darkarts theo has when he was the one who stole the underwear and proceeds to call the other person gay for wanting their OWN underwear back 🤣🤣

[@PepsiFuture]

Perfect example of the dark arts

[@DSToNe19and83]

Haha, I’m saying! Only shit Theo would do..

[@dylanstack8710]

The Viking is not a thief. He is a vigilante. "$500 back then was 20-30 grand" sent me.

[@CARBINEZzZzZ]

A one-man pizza operation where you get the call, make the pizza, then lock the doors and go deliver it is such a fuckin funny bit lol

[@zyourzgrandzmaz]

Classic small town 😂

[@daveyreed]

I haven't cried laughing to a podcast in a hot minute.

[@somarvitor]

Barely scratched the surface of Matt's criminal past. Needs to go back on n talk about selling drugs n cheating self checkouts.

[@DesiS16]

That’s what I laughed at

[@spencerbrown2933]

I thought "N Talk" was the name of a podcast and I was like damn dude.

[@oneshotgangsta]

Lmao 😂​@@spencerbrown2933

[@chrisdoe3642]

Matt and Shane don't make me feel so alone

[@dominicdragoni4215]

damn my brother get a dog or sum they good company

[@zyourzgrandzmaz]

​@@dominicdragoni4215he's talking about being a complete degenerate

[@notforsaletoday1895]

@@dominicdragoni4215Maybe a fish. Be sure to get a fish tank too, though.

[@Jose-wf6po]

Matt kleptomania is still running rampant, he keeps stealing the air out of my lungs from prolonged laughter!

[@Okillydokilly69]

You rule .

[@ZT5513]

simp

[@FeloniousSKUNK]

The funniest part of this is Theo Vonn thinking that spiders make the silk clothes we wear

[@George-pl7eu]

Come to Australia

[@AB-fw6qp]

These two have good podcast chemistry 😂

[@yoboy6319]

Podcasts used to be fun, now it's the same hacks just repeating stories and blowing each other. This is at least OK

[@eastonstafford8315]

@@yoboy6319you’re a real bummer

[@yoboy6319]

@@eastonstafford8315 sorry I can't listen to these dudes say the same stuff over and over.

[@eastonstafford8315]

@@yoboy6319 yo you don’t have to watch the same episode over and over they come out with new ones like all the time

[@Stacey_-bf2mb]

He hit Theo with a HARD Springsteen there at the end

[@gregorio87]

"somebody said Jesus only worked like 30 hours a week", lol. That sounds like a reasonable amount of time to do carpentry or spread the word. He was just chillin with wine and prostitutes the rest of the time. Can't blame the dude

[@eightbitsofdeath]

sounds like a decent life ngl

[@dustinmurphy82]

20-30k 😂

[@FindingEzekiel]

Girl math 😂

[@bigmoose99]

Two of the best at making up stories that nobody cares enough about to call them out going head to head!

[@DSToNe19and83]

“I stole my buddies underwear” Sounds like something Theo would say..

[@littlejackalo5326]

He definitely felt another man's warmth.

[@DSToNe19and83]

@@littlejackalo5326 warm silky ass nuts warmth… I suppose

[@aliasSix]

Same timing a pizza for payment is wild 😂 🍕

[@Humblemumble7]

What tf is "same timing" a pizza?

[@Matt-uj9wl]

@@Humblemumble7 not handing the goods over until the money is in your hand "at the same time"

[@Humblemumble7]

@Matt-uj9wl Oh yeah, of course! Lol Thank you, man. For some reason, in the context of pizza, that shit didn't compute.

[@ETAisNOW]

@@Humblemumble7I’ve only ever heard “same time” during an exchange, it being used as a verb is weird.

[@goofballbiscuits3647]

​@@ETAisNOW It's a gerund.

[@Mark-sd7fc]

My man bought this table as a school auction

[@bungalo50]

Matt is definitely a guy that has grown up being very good at lying

[@TFUProductions]

Yeah?

[@CantUnderEstimate]

George costanza

[@dominicfox4147]

Matt McCuscker looks like Jimmy Kimmel after chemo therapy.

[@MBeist-vi7ho]

Lmao

[@tommytwo-times9053]

nice

[@levijamesvstheworld]

Theo makes up the craziest shit lmao. Sometimes u can see him trying to think of it in his head on the spot

[@XxXTitsmcgeeXxX]

Sometimes?? Literally every thing he says you can see him make it up on the spot lmao.

[@AG9271-gt7ck]

Two wrongs don’t make a right is such a good line.

[@Isariu11]

Is it really that good lol?

[@gunncab4760]

Tf? It’s a common saying. It’s Not a good or unique line anymore than “Don’t put all your eggs in one basket”

[@chadchadchadchadchad]

Three lefts (90 degrees) make a right.

[@HughJanus-ey6cs]

How old are you that that saying is revolutionary

[@PepsiFuture]

@@chadchadchadchadchadnobody said anything about left or 3. Don’t force an unfunny joke where it doesn’t work. Also, no it doesn’t. Every left makes a … left. It would only be a right from the perspective of someone who is in the original position, not to the person turning. Stupid, very stupid

[@ri5clipsrl664]

“40hrs a week is part-time”- I felt that….

[@nuckels188]

I get all my work done in 10 hours and play on my phone for 30 😢

[@bobby9192]

@@nuckels188find something else

[@spaceghost3941]

432Hz gang for Lyfe

[@taylordubose6963]

I’m fly as shit dude & you hate it 😂

[@nicholasdhall]

This man really has done every single job you could possibly try 😂

[@ryanlemley4866]

This shit is crazy. Matt just described my life and Shane grew up in Mechanicsburg where i lived for several years. I missed the boat man.

[@HighlyRegardted]

Yea dude you def coulda been a famous comedian wtf were u even doin the last few yrs

[@WhyForWhatNow]

Cos that's how it works 😅

[@old-red]

My buddy Duke(rip) used to steal cartons of smokes from the local family owned grocery store by throwing them in trash bags and putting them in the ally for later. Then he sold them to us. It was awesome for us 16 year olds at the time but he got caught and got a charge for it.

[@taylordubose6963]

We used to do this with beer at a local grocery store I worked for, bagger clerks would take “damaged” 24 pack suitcases and stash them neatly at bottom corner of the dumpster & have the boys come retrieve while we’d be keep watch inside

[@old-red]

@ beer woulda been cooler haha

[@avxntvra]

Legend, keep Duke’s legacy alive brother 🫡🫡

[@old-red]

@ for sure!!

[@mhoop5381]

Matt and I lived very similar lives… People love listening to my stories. My friends say they live through me and the shit I got into when I was younger. I just live free and do what I want within reason. Something a lot of people don’t end up doing in life…

[@eightbitsofdeath]

its nothing to brag about to be honest. i do the same and im probably much older than you. when you dont have much to show at this age beyond "living free" its a weird vibe

[@phil8528]

Man I relate to Matt on this. I gamble for a living so have a lot of spare time. So I just go to stores that I know overcharge for their products and shoplift there, literally just to pass time and it’s genuinely fun. I’d never shoplift from a small business or anything like that. Just large expensive places.

[@snowfrosty1]

Shoplifting from big (usually overpriced/expensive) corporations can be kinda fun(thrilling?) as a preteen-HS teen. Yet try to stop this while you can homie. It’s not really a good schtick inherently tbh, definitely not something you wanna continue with heavily past the 18-22 “college aged” stage of your life. Try to keep it to like candy bars & small items if you must.

[@fifihey]

I don’t know how but I so relate to Matt.

[@brookej.5888]

"If you even did it." 👀

[@PaloVerde1414]

That’s why he’s chill and down af unfortunate outcome of being OUTSIDEEE

[@N8Mate]

We used to have a rip in a hotel i used to work at. Every night if the cash till was down but the card machine was up, they'd just assume that people were pressing the wrong buttons. And clear off the discrepancy, turns out all of the bar staff were memorising pricing, not putting card transaction into the epos and only putting the cash through the till. Swipe the cash and leave it. It wasnt until i took over stock take in the beer cellar that i noticed we were 'using' 3 times the beer that was going through the till. Initially checked cameras to hopefully find staff drinking or giving away free drinks only to find 6/10 of the bar staff were swiping £100's in cash every shift

[@s_dolla1341]

Boxer shorts is crazy 😆

[@indigowendigo8464]

I delivered pizza in college and never realized I was a badass

[@xXnick916Xx]

Matt is the fuckin man. Long live the Shaman.

[@mards2479]

Street shaman, the criminal mastermind

[@gp5078]

Somebody said jesus only worked 30hrs a week 😂 too good man

[@frankmurphy5]

This studio should ditch that table and do all pods just laying on that plush ass carpet 😂

[@stephenb2276]

40hrs in construction considered part time is a joke. Huuur, duuurr, youre not a real man if youre not doing 80 a week

[@BigNoseTony]

The average construction is 50-60hrs. Figure you get overtime a few hours each day. Unless you're on a long controlled job.

[@littlejackalo5326]

Your beta Bernal is rearing its ugly head again. It's a real mystery to you why you're bullied. "wAaAaAa. wHy aM i sO bRoKe, aNd WhY aRe aLL tHe oThEr gUyS BuLLyiNg mE? wAaAaAa." Beeeeeta.

[@Mattchalog]

Jesus only working 30 hours a week is such a good line 😂

[@Cobbido]

no its aint!!

[@jsmithsemper4848]

This whole thing 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@TheMidnightRambler23]

My manager at this pizza chain restaurant when I was 15yrs old used to do this same stuff and would pay me off and let me have as much food as I wanted for friends and family to keep me quiet I guess and would let me leave on the clock to go get weed.The 90's was pretty crazy.😂

[@kevyg973]

its true what they say, the cusk always rises to the top

[@cammathews5619]

Loop hole in Wendy's with that baby coupon deal lmaooooo

[@JayWilkins-zh7fx]

They were my enemies for real. What was the shop? Oh it was a ice cream store. Lmao wut

[@jordanjackman1537]

The 2008 real estate market collapse bruh😂

[@ervxpi4728]

Theo is well arguably the GOAT

[@brandonopolis]

Working at Taco Bell in high school, my friend memorized all the combo prices after tax, so if someone came in and ordered a single combo meal, he had a technique to pocket the money without throwing off the register. Personally, I was too scared to steal money, but I ate like a king every shift :)

[@hova5025]

All the free......Diarrhea, King!!!!

[@ETAisNOW]

It’s interesting how people justify stealing something worth money easier than stealing the actual money

[@chrishitchcock7977]

Don’t listen to these weebs, take this and pile drive it into your heart :”hell yeah”

[@ETAisNOW]

@@chrishitchcock7977 what are you even talking about right now?

[@beb-broly7304]

@@ETAisNOW because the thing worth money is almost always only really worth a fraction of the actual money

[@kurtman8954]

Why is the table so big?

[@Hhhgreg]

the background look like a padded cell

[@stilettoswinger7404]

I done the exact same thing as his first story.onky difference was i was silly enough to take £1 coins.had tissue in my pocket to stop the jingle.thought i was a genius! I got caught the first day i tried it and got fired,never stole again 😂

[@Peter-zg3em]

i'm so glad these two hit it off. shane's instantly funny, cusker takes a few episodes until you realize what makes him tick and his purity. he and theo have so many things in common even if they do have a very different delivery. they're humble guys, they're willing to grow. most comedians have the swagger of shane, the coolest guy in the room with an immediate appeal to most. these two are quietly the coolest dudes in the room and it might take a bit until you realize that.

[@mike2312p]

Im trying to think what mall matt would of worked at??? I dont think concord mall had a brewsters so my guess would be granite run mall. Plymouth and k of p would of been a far commute.

[@tarawhite986]

@mike2312p Would it be the old Galleria Mall that used to be right in Center City?

[@mike2312p]

@@tarawhite986 with the movie theater? I didn't think about that

[@mattlitzenberg9623]

I know what Brysters he workers at. There is a Brysters like 10 minutes from the concord mall by the Kohl Library and the Laspadas Hoagies. There is a high chance that the Shaman served me ice cream as a child

[@antonioavella9905]

Two wrongs don't make a right lmfao

[@justybahy]

Spiders make silk in Louisiana?

[@thesedayswithkai]

Matt the type of dude who sold headies 20 a gram 😂

[@ErmiasTenkir]

Theo, i watch ur videos and i love what u do. Man Please help me get out of this bad situation i am in

[@notagiantseaslug5523]

Theo helps those who help themselves.

[@Heopful]

Theo pays his openers $100 lol he ain't helping anyone.

[@paulwilliams6415]

Is that carrot top. 2:33

[@37Kilo2]

I think most kids that worked retail stole from their store, at least once. I used to steal CDs from my job, but my friend who was the AM, was stealing tons of shit every day. Every time we catch up, we laugh about it. In Elementary school I was a professional shoplifter. Well, almost, I did get caught a couple times. Kicked out of a mall, and Toys R Us. Tons of kids go through a klepto phase.

[@smokeyblunty4263]

McCusker interrogation

[@bhaskarkakati]

Joey Diaz "I like you kid"

[@rfs81]

This dude makes the Carny look like a Saint

[@thatguypatmckittrick]

1980s pizza. We were our own syndicate.

[@BL_762]

Matt should rock a bowl cut or a Edgar cut

[@PRICEX]

Bowl cut would go hard

[@Michael-jr5ie]

“ how far do you think Hitler commuted to get to the holocaust?”

[@kwiph8904]

With jokes they might not land, fuck it go for it. Be cerebral

[@securethebag1613]

I kno my boy had a south pole shirt

[@frankfurt1063]

theo just wanted to stunt on rogan with that table

[@benmeadows391]

The owners came in that day cus they knew he was stealing I guarantee it

[@dakotatotten5355]

We had a 3 shirts for price of 2 on all our stuff . So you pay for 2 shirts get one free or pay for 2 pants get one free and I would hit that button and never tell the customer and after my shift pick out like 3-4 shirts / pants and take them home . I got a whole new wardrobe in like 2 weeks . I could wear a new shirt with out doubling it for weeks . I was a asshole but my manager was the one that told me about it . I still feel bad about it hahaha 😂 sorry Steve and Barry’s

[@kuroh31]

I worked at great American cookies at my local mall as a teenager and definitely stole a bunch of cookies and traded them with the guys at Subway & the pizza place

[@spooky_43]

Wasnt shaman gonna be a cop or something at one point? lmao

[@waynecampbell8531]

I used to take in donations at a (for profit) thrift store and stole stuff every single day. It was exhilarating.

[@goofballbiscuits3647]

Nice

[@jacksparrow9227]

Be better than the GAP Theo

[@jefferyburns5808]

I rhought this clip was gonna be aboit selling middies in west Philly

[@Dontzzzzz]

Everyone please tell em your story of what you stole from your work below 👇

[@jonvia]

Just an m'goodboy trying to make money for his chicken tendies and special sauce.

[@jordanjackman1537]

They were cubershorts

[@ML-kx9gz]

lol @ scoop nuts

[@lukeholderfield3602]

70,000 spiders

[@danthomas3112]

I worked on a turnpkie collecting tolls after high school partime time during college damn we stole so much money

[@JimNortonsAlcoholism]

Nice bot comments

[@notagiantseaslug5523]

I’ve seen you comment before and I’m so curious about your username. You’ve obviously had it forever, and quite possibly could you be Jim Norton? Or what the fuck? And also what the fuck is up withthese bot comments? Is that something you can pay for as a channel? Help me, Jim Norton, you are my only hope.

[@austinhowell3463]

Little less than 850$ today for 500 in 2003 when Matt was 17

[@brain4154]

i steal every day from my job lol fuck em, they don't pay me shit

[@hen8950]

Mccusker is super likable. I bet he’s a good man.

[@mamterilleq]

Real enemies bahaha

[@CharlieL292]

Jesus only worked 30 hours a week? 😂

[@John-mf1sz]

Holy hell. Ive never, up into this point in my life met anyone that I could relate to as much as McCusker. Grade A++ 👍🏼 I had a very similar scheme going on with out of state truckers; especially when our cameras literally did not work for months on end. I’ll say the same for thing now that I said then; prove it. Especially when these audits are only done once a quarter. Come on, now…You may as well be asking for it at that point. And to be clear, this was a large chain not some Mom and Pop place. I’d never do that if that were the case. Corporate can more than take the hit, though.

[@trentnoble10]

In high school, before we were 18 we stole the FUCK outta CCC's from WalJart & any store that carried Cough & Cold Coricidin. I tripped balls on cough meds from like 16-22 nonstop! Lmfao I never get colds, still to this day! I think all those CCCs supercharged my sickness defense systems!

[@rdel2007]

I think it probably had the opposite effect lol

[@goofballbiscuits3647]

It broke you and made you blind to your own downfall 🎉

[@skibbydweez2647]

Former life of crime Proceeds to rob Nickles quarters from sweet shop

[@crryder44]

"If you work 40s ur part time"💯

[@dominicnapoli8568]

Google Padre Pio

[@Initial__B]

baby cone baby cone baby cone

[@Cobbido]

He's lying about a some things...

[@ambientbluntsmoke]

matt is so dope