Three out of the 4 for me. The sex was good, but that wasn't the reason for it being hard. I am a relationship man and I convinced myself I needed her and fell for her potential instead of her reality. I took time to myself for half a year and was amazed that I wasn't realizing my value. Getting myself together emotionally and spiritually and physically opened many doors and showed me the path to finding the right woman. Thank you for keeping it real. So many men won't admit this.
@lukas40169 ай бұрын
I had similar situation few years ago. Fortunately, I'm in completely different relashionship now which has different foundations. Thanks to podcasts with Stephan I realized what is really important in a relationship - deep connection and mutual understanding
@StephanSpeaksforMen9 ай бұрын
Glad I could help 🙏
@Invyktvs9 ай бұрын
Dealing with something similar
@zeal4god4029 ай бұрын
For me, it was hoping things would get better, holding on to her potential, not wanting to go through the process of finding someone else because it may take too long and I hated rejection
@BayouBarbie5049 ай бұрын
Falling for potential is a death sentence in a relationship. I've done it, won't do it again!
@yakkidiyak9 ай бұрын
I’m a woman and I have to agree 100% on wanting a man to show up in his masculine energy. I dated a man for over a year and after feeling like I carried all the weight in the relationship, I was exhausted and decided to part ways.
@StephanSpeaksforMen9 ай бұрын
Thank you for sharing your experience! Hopefully, it will help others learn from it. I appreciate that 🙏
@creatureofstyle9 ай бұрын
I did it for 18 years 😢 It just kept getting worse. I finally put my foot down and said no more and now we're getting divorced
@plmnjioqazzsw79629 ай бұрын
DO NOT DO ANYTHING FOR WOMEN . MEN ARE NOT SLAVES OF WOMEN . DONT SIMP , DATE , MARRY , HELP OR RISK YOU LIFE FOR THIS ENTITLED GENDER .
@aeiou01239 ай бұрын
For the first time in my life, i dated a man who just did not get it. He wont plan dates, wont do so many things. Instead of nagging n becoming like a mom (even though he was 8 yrs older, i felt he was immature), I just asked for a breakup. Just didnt make sense to keep hoping. I left him after 3 months
@plmnjioqazzsw79629 ай бұрын
You are a strong and independent woman and don't need men . You can live by yourself . Men are not slaves of society and women to carry their burden . Everybody is on their own .
@HippieZippy9 ай бұрын
Kudos to all the men on here being vulnerable and open! It's like a breath of fresh air. Open communication leads to better understanding & healthy relationships. Let's leave the dismissives/ narcissists behind in 2024! 😊
@MarjyGTV8 ай бұрын
Facts!! So tired of seeing narcissists destroying genuine people.
@how_you_talk8 ай бұрын
The era is coming in which their games would be truly over.
@BayouBarbie5049 ай бұрын
Stephan I love that more men are commenting on your page. You're a healthy coach for both genders! Y'all men out here, tell your relationship seeking healthy friends and keep commenting and asking questions. We need a healthy forum for both men and women that are committed to bettering themselves for a healthy union.❤❤❤
@StephanSpeaksforMen9 ай бұрын
I appreciate that ❤ 🙏
@BayouBarbie5049 ай бұрын
Stephan, I just realized this is your men page! I'm sorry y'all!😂 I always get your videos and didn’t realize there was a different page🤦🏾♀️. Maybe we can have a co-ed page, too. Not to create more work for you but, I enjoy your insights.
@ChaseExcellence-gx2bv9 ай бұрын
He started out as a men's coach. It's only on IG that y'all think he's a woman's coach. Because he's catering to the matriarchal construct of society on there. He's about half right with his concepts. He doesn't talk about the dark side of women that's true. There's some very unflattering parts of female nature, that he doesn't really hit on. But he'll never go down that path.
@sabriaadair56379 ай бұрын
@@ChaseExcellence-gx2bvwell… no he has a women’s page too and he caters to his women clientele a lot. However, I’ve watched both pages (women/men) and he def has addressed negative traits pertaining to women also.
@BlackberryTitties8 ай бұрын
@@ChaseExcellence-gx2bvActually you are WRONG! I’ve heard him go in on women. But the thing is males are stubborn, disagreeable, don’t listen or like to change! All dating male coaches who started off teaching men and then started teaching women as well say that men DON’T listen. Whereas women are more accepting of change. We don’t have to be BEAT over the head. And if you speak to a woman from a place of good intentions women will listen. What you want him to be a Fresh and Unfit Podcast?? Y’all males like men who speak down to women just so your ego is stroked and you’re made to feel like someone is beneath you. That’s why you think that he speaks half truths. Pathetic! 🤡💀
@JamaicaLove8769 ай бұрын
All excellent points. Sometimes a man has a hard time because perhaps she was the one he truly loved and he realized it too late. This happens alot as well. Once the man is back in the dating pool he will realize she was the best choice. Personally I think that hurts a man more knowing he lost someone he loved deeply. Great video as always. Keep up the great work 🙏 Blessings 🙌
@StephanSpeaksforMen9 ай бұрын
❤️ 🙂 Thank you for watching. I appreciate hearing from you!
@JamaicaLove8769 ай бұрын
@@StephanSpeaksforMen Good to see you are still providing excellent quality content for the men. Keep going 💪 ✨️🙏
@joyfuladventures70368 ай бұрын
I agree fully...
@RamonTV.8 ай бұрын
I agree w this. Going through this currently and everybody I met after just doesn’t met the new standards she left me with. Been going through the motions tryna stay positive. You really don’t know what you had till it’s gone
@Diarrheagod7 ай бұрын
If he really loved her then he wouldn’t have put himself in a position to have hurt her to end up losing her. True love is selfless. What you said sounds pretty selfish. You even said “she was the best choice”. This isn’t love. Love would be realizing you aren’t the best choice for her and she clearly deserves better and for that you let her go and instead of spiritually keeping eachother hostage you chose to let it go and take that love and work on yourself. That’s what so many people just don’t understand. This is what happens when people divorce themselves from spirit - they are miserable
@neheraroberts83398 ай бұрын
1 you are a relationship guy 2 beauty or sex 3 you feel you need her 4 you are holding on to her potential
@georgialouisew41528 ай бұрын
It’s especially hard when after loosing her they go looking for her in another woman, only to never find her.
@endearing11198 ай бұрын
This 💯/ 💯
@valeriekaroline9 ай бұрын
It hurts being the one who comes afterwards. You don’t stand a chance, if they didn’t work through it (which they usually don’t) 😢
@mayasheartdesiire9 ай бұрын
This is so true!
@susanhampton96719 ай бұрын
It is up to both sexes to ask questions before dating the individuals. Are you using critical thinking and assessment? You have to be your own advocate. It is too easy to get caught up in the feelings. @@mayasheartdesiire
@jesmann668 ай бұрын
@valeriekaoline ..It can Especially be painful if you are new in their reality and become the support they needed to heal and get stronger, but not fully heal mentally. Then convince themselves "That's good enough" to go back give it another go with the one they left months or were dumped by years before you became intangled in this tragic story. Then here we are saying WTF just happened? In time those that do the work realize it wasn't me. Best Feeling Ever! Having a Synopsis of someone's life with a rating and review system with an optional short comment would be great. Maybe instead of stars use flags Red, yellow and green. And black for heartless 🖤..
@lovejones18978 ай бұрын
Especially if you are a rebound
@Diarrheagod7 ай бұрын
Oh boy you aren’t lying on this one! Especially when he’s secretly talking to her still behind your back “as friends” and you end up finding out and it’s devastating
@toniwilliams98179 ай бұрын
You're right, Stephan, he has leaned on me so much over the last few months that it has exhausted me and caused me grief and loss behind him. Now he can't understand why I'm not interested until he gets his life together and man up for me. He's promising all this and that, but words mean nothing until he can bring stability and security to the relationship. I'm focused on myself for now. I've told him he needs to figure his life out and come back to me with his life together. No more.
@kaya7108 ай бұрын
I’m skimming the comments deciding if I’ll watch but what you’re talking about is called future faking. It’s a narcissistic maneuver to receive REAL love and nurturing from you while giving you nothing of what you were promised.
@laron.henderson9 ай бұрын
Working on getting over my soon to be ex wife. I thought she was the one. But not so. I question myself on why I allowed myself to get involved. Now I'm not sure if I ever want to do it again! I know how to be alone. I was alone for most of my life. So my struggle is starting all over again.
@Diarrheagod7 ай бұрын
Probably a karmic relationship. Learn from it it was obviously meant to teach you something about yourself. Don’t let it make you stop living .
@aaronhill4439 ай бұрын
I am going through this right now and the title caught my attention. It has been a while since we broke up and I found that I compare every woman who I have dated since to her in one way or another. After meditation, I realized my struggle comes from several things. First off, I was in love with her and her children as well as her family. It is hard to get over someone when you get attached to their family. I also fell in love with her flaws both physically and mentally. My struggle further comes from the fact that there are so many triggers that remind me of her such as restaurants we ate at along with many other physical triggers, songs we listened to, movies and comedy specials that we watched and laughed at, along with numerous other things. Through meditation, it also made me look back and realize what true love was. Like I said, she had a huge physical flaw that you did not immediately notice and she did a good job at hiding, but it would turn many guys away once they noticed it. As for me, I loved her regardless. She also had a major surgery that left her feeling weak at times and I realized that if she ended up handicap, I would love and take care of her the rest of her life without a problem. Unfortunately, some of these women don't realize the blessing that they have. Don't get me wrong, men aren't perfect either.
@_Diaryofwealth8 ай бұрын
Wow just wow beautiful. But what happened u separated?
@stephanspeaks8138 ай бұрын
@@_Diaryofwealth for how long have you been my fans
@_Diaryofwealth8 ай бұрын
@@stephanspeaks813😊😊actually a pretty long time ive always wanted to ask for an advice never knew u would notice me❤
@itspaigechannel97587 ай бұрын
Sounds like me
@aaronhill4437 ай бұрын
@_Diaryofwealth she dumped me. I think that she had a lot going on especially with past traumas, so I think to avoid the hurt, she ended it. She didn't realize that nothing in me had any plans of hurting her. She was my one. Time will tell what happens in the future.
@Florida_gyrl9 ай бұрын
I’m a woman and I loved this video! Keep posting those pearls of wisdom Stephan!
@StephanSpeaksforMen9 ай бұрын
Glad to hear that, thank you for your response!
@JStig129 ай бұрын
@Florida_gyrl It is good to see you here on the men's channel. I recognized you from the women's channel. I enjoy reading your comments there. I kind of feel like you and @kiravampira1456 are kind of becoming legendary over there.
@PAULMUSICANDMORE9 ай бұрын
You also need to understand that God will give better, sometimes we hold on to the previous person in the past because in our eyes and mind and heart that the best. But in God eyes they will be someone better. When you start to trust that God has the best for you, it will help you move on as well.
@anjijack53929 ай бұрын
All of this!! 👏🏻💯🎯🙌🏼
@whitewolf95474 ай бұрын
Love this so thank you brotha ❤
@Juk3boxjohnny9 ай бұрын
I’ve recently been a victim of falling for the potential of a broken woman. Kept trying to help her but ended up getting hurt myself. Now it’s savage mode all 2024
@Po5itivemind5et8 ай бұрын
sounds like the situation im in can never do right and always have to take the blame for everything and when you try and support them they just say im ok and give you the cold shoulder its a complete head fuck and im starting to think its just not worth the drama
@lovejones18978 ай бұрын
That’s not right because the right may come around and you will mess that up
@Diarrheagod7 ай бұрын
That’s why u gotta be careful with people. Don’t get involved with people who aren’t in a healthy place emotionally mentally spiritually. They will hurt you. It was meant to happen tho and you need to learn from it it was meant to teach u something about yourself.
@Erica-cf1xb4 ай бұрын
Savage mode is gonna hurt you more. You sound full of revenge and the chances of you running through multiples who really don't care is high. Don't do it. Focus on you. Nobody else.
@mynameissusie6119 ай бұрын
You hit it on the head. Sometimes as women we feel like men don’t have real emotions because you guys aren’t expressive or it may come across as anger. And yes as women we feel bad when things don’t work out but it’s just like that sometimes 🤷🏽♀️
@angad84289 ай бұрын
I’m so glad you started uploading to this channel again. been waiting.
@StephanSpeaksforMen9 ай бұрын
❤🙏
@JenniferOakes9 ай бұрын
@@StephanSpeaksforMenyes, please don't neglect the men. Women learn from what you say to them also
@God-Love-Freedom8 ай бұрын
Hi, welcome to today’s episode. The only reason why men cannot get over a woman is because she left him before he was ready to leave her first. Alright, thanks for listening. See you all next time. Have a great day, bye!
@patriciasenter76019 ай бұрын
Mr Stephan this video has explained all of me. I mean from 1 through 4 for a man's struggle has been mine. This is crazy! I'm glad I ran across it. TY, TY, TY. A lot you put out is not only for one or the other but for both---the Man and the Woman. 👏 I'm going to listen again and again 😂
@StephanSpeaksforMen9 ай бұрын
I'm happy this has been helpful to you. Don't forget to share so that others can receive love, healing, and clarity ❤ 🙏
@BentaygaSB9 ай бұрын
I have to admit, your video made just seven days ago really helped me out. I had a question about a situation I've been dealing with for the past three years, but thanks to your video, I feel like I can finally leave it behind and start fresh in the new year of 2024. God bless your soul, bro.
@StephanSpeaksforMen8 ай бұрын
❤️ 🙂 Thank you very much and may God bless you as well 🙏
@jesmann669 ай бұрын
Number 4. Got her back and now.... Wish I could talk about it here, But it's a long story and not everything is for the internet. I will say this, the last 5yrs have been hard on the family. So much pain and damage.
@anjijack53929 ай бұрын
🙏🏻
@lovejones18978 ай бұрын
Healing and God for both before marriage or you guys will bring that in marriage
@steviereign24459 ай бұрын
Tomorrow my woman and I are parting ways . I’m pretty sad about it but I’m only 26, I know it’ll be okay 🙏🏾
@PlaywithDaisy8 ай бұрын
Why tomorrow specifically? Divorce?
@Diarrheagod7 ай бұрын
You’re young you’ll be fine
@MsChosen19797 ай бұрын
🙏🏾
@whitewolf95474 ай бұрын
How are you doing now?
@steviereign24454 ай бұрын
@@whitewolf9547 better!
@jayyoung7784 ай бұрын
This helped me understand way more. I’m guilty of #2 & #4 a lot of times.
@Flabino9 ай бұрын
Man I really needed to hear this help me a lot with my breakup 💪🏽💪🏽
@aliounendiaye59019 ай бұрын
Hello Stephan. Many thanks I have been watching your contents for men and was looking for new videos. Really happy that you publish a new video.
@StephanSpeaksforMen9 ай бұрын
Glad to hear that, thank you for your response!
@luxeatfirstblush64639 ай бұрын
Oh don’t forget the other one! “I can’t let go because she’s the mother of my kids.”
@shanicrystal86719 ай бұрын
The classic 😂
@Thecityinside7 ай бұрын
Bro your content is amazing. 4/4. I have a two year old with someone that I’ve always seen potential in, but she has been carried by her family her whole life and doesn’t believe in herself- I did some things wrong and acknowledged all of it and have made a lot of positive changes. Instead of working through her issues, I get blamed for everything and it becomes impossible to try to reconcile. I just want my family back together but man, I think I’m holding onto the potential a bit too much
@perryphillips84246 ай бұрын
Same thing with me. 2 year old, on and off. A lot of it was potential, talks of the future. I love her with everything I have in my body but it was toxic. Didn’t respect me, after 2 years I was begging for attention. It made me a very resentful man and made me someone who I hated. I had to let her go 2 days ago. It’s hard feelings up and down gotta get use to a lifestyle I miss my kid but my ex plays mind games. I can’t be there for that because every time we’d separate and I stop by for our child she’s pulling tricks and being all the things I wanted when we were together.
@aliciabrown66799 ай бұрын
Yo, I pull so much from these videos on your men’s channel. Keep them coming!
@StephanSpeaksforMen9 ай бұрын
Glad to hear that, thank you for your response!
@joyfuladventures70368 ай бұрын
All good points but the list is luckily not exhaustive. One simple reason could also just be that the man realized he messed up and lost a good woman and that realization just came too late. Simple. Some man are soo undecided that they give mixed signals and due to those the woman cant come in fully. So eventually she leaves as this situationship is just not good for her. As soon as she left the man realizes he now really missed out on a good woman... Hence he cant forget her. Its not always psycho or toxic reasons.
@frankdees5078 ай бұрын
Well, narrowing the issue down to 1 reason rather than 4 makes it a whole lot easier getting over it going forward, as there are good women lined up waiting on a good man
@silas2133 ай бұрын
I was with a woman for 7 years. Along the way she lost her daughter to fentynal and around the same time I lost my mother. We both never got help and fought for no reason. Plus many times it was infused by alcohol. Well recently got in a big argument and she broke up with me, quit her 180, 000 dollar job and moved out of state home in 2 weeks. My world is turned upside down because I loved her but now realize she was my co dependent. I battle loneliness and though I realize it's probably better for us both. It's still painful and hard to deal with.
@sarabanks33128 ай бұрын
Your honesty is honorable!
@suzannepuma97747 ай бұрын
Just realized this video waswas intended for men but as a woman I can definitely relate to most of the points that were brought in regards to reasons why I have difficulty letting go of a person in my life so thank you for that! ❤🙌🏼
@StephanSpeaksforMen7 ай бұрын
My pleasure ❤️
@AnnetteDiggs9 ай бұрын
I hope y’all heard him clearly He said It’s not you, it’s him Remember that It has zero to do with you all to do with him
@tmc87508 ай бұрын
Most likely it’s NOT bcuz he’s a “relationship guy” but rather bcuz he’s NEVER learned to BE ON HIS OWN. An unhealed childhood wound. Period.
@StephanSpeaksforMen8 ай бұрын
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate that ❤️
@tmc87508 ай бұрын
@@StephanSpeaksforMen You’re very welcome. Excellent POV and commentary young man. Be blessed.
@adriennerobinson46688 ай бұрын
"I love this way because I got it as a kid". Those lyrics have stuck with me for years from Common's song I Want You.
@Diarrheagod7 ай бұрын
U sound so irritated! 😂 hope u let that loser go for your sake!
@jeremybailey90765 ай бұрын
Damn, this is a tough one. I have never really been alone! 1st wife was with since 15, married at 19, divorced at 25. New relationship right away and 41 now. Marriage is on the rocks right now, so this hits home. I feel I am aware of all you have discussed but can't deny they are valid reasons. I could believe for myself that relationship guy is part of it for me. Definitely not looks or sex. I am well passed the physical looks part. Sex is great when it happens but not why I am still trying. Number isn't it either. There is definitely comfortability there and she has helped me grow but not with a great approach to stay with her. I think 4 is the answer. I am always believing if I do what I need to she will heal and we will be great. Damn there it is.
@maryanneville43977 ай бұрын
This is sooo true because i have experienced some of these manipulation tactics in previous relationships, even in my present as my bf always plays the victim,the part about the phone thing and flerting with other women and then he will tell me is nothing and I am his woman he is not with anyone else, hummm
@lauraalmaguer64299 ай бұрын
Stephan you are so amazing, thank you for all of your advice!
@StephanSpeaksforMen9 ай бұрын
I appreciate that ❤️ 🙏🏼
@GNHAirbrush7 ай бұрын
Maaaaaannnn....I know understand why I am struggling with moving on from my last relationship. All points sound like me and I'm not sure if I should be relieved or terrified. Guess it's something I'll have to figure out on my own.
@TheGbass879 ай бұрын
Matthew 24:12 And because iniquity shall abound, the love of many shall wax cold.
@DrizzyGotSole3 ай бұрын
I’m dealing with the same thing. I was holding onto her potential even though she was broken. I didn’t feel appreciated & was unhappy at times. Theres alot of childhood trauma that she needs to heal from which I didn’t know about until we were already deep into the relationship. She played victim all the time & always made everything about her. I always tried to motivate her & stay positive but nothing worked. She broke up with me and I unfollowed her on social media & went no contact for a month trying to get her out of my head. Surprisingly she called me this morning from a new phone number trying to apologize saying how she never seen her life without me in it. I just dismissed it and told her I had to get back to my workout. I’m really confused as to why she reached out to me especially since she’s the one that left me. The next time she calls back I don’t think I should answer because this isn’t helping neither one of us move on. 🤦🏾♂️
@alchemicalsoul9 ай бұрын
Such a helpful video as a woman to understand why men may be holding on to previous relationships. But more importantly to make sure I stay on the growth path.
@StephanSpeaksforMen9 ай бұрын
I'm happy this has been helpful to you 🙏
@JoMama1234512342 ай бұрын
#4 resonated with me so much. Idealized her potential and stuck with her and clung to hope while tolerating her toxic behavior. I knew it was wrong deep down but i fell for her beauty and the sex. And i struggle attracting attractive women but she was a 9/10. And im a relationship man so it was the perfect storm
@S76-l8g9 ай бұрын
l m all together ... l rather spend time playing sports with them as friends and then going home by myself enjoy my quiet time and freedom (l am a woman).
@StephanSpeaksforMen9 ай бұрын
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback 🙏
@lukas40169 ай бұрын
It's easy for you to say. Most men don't have any safe space to express their emotions freely without any supression. Being a sport fan is the only socially-acxepted place for row emotions.
@oneydjacks8 ай бұрын
Everything you're saying is spot on!! Too many people here make these videos and they have misleading titles and no value. You're great. The reason I couldn't get over her was ego...MY EGO! I had to get over me.
@StephanSpeaksforMen8 ай бұрын
Thank you for your feedback, I appreciate hearing from you ❤️
@kemcapital84089 ай бұрын
Not one lie told.. Thanks man.
@ajwoods69518 ай бұрын
You killed this video my guy💪🏾💪🏾
@StephanSpeaksforMen8 ай бұрын
❤️ 🙂 Thank you!
@Cindy_Love_202521 күн бұрын
Great video 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼💯
@heatherjeffrey89979 ай бұрын
Stephan thanks i like how you are so real especially when you use yourself to explain
@naturallove4real4649 ай бұрын
Take your time 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾 speak the truth 🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾
@gwa39259 ай бұрын
This is so powerful and insightful Thank you
@ranikalakaar8 ай бұрын
Everything so true. Fair review
@abtransportationservice71959 ай бұрын
Bruh, i am devorice 2 yrs now and i am seeing a great woman and we have a great connection,she's faithful,honest and caring.Additionally she have most of the qualities I want in a woman But I'm struggling to love her because i think I'm not physically attracted to her 😔 .
@barbaraedwards56759 ай бұрын
If she can’t do anything to make herself attractive to you; let her go. Don’t try to force it or you’ll be a divorcee again.
@DeNyce-9 ай бұрын
I agree with Barbara Edwards let it go because you will be divorced again. If you’re not physically attracted now as we get older things tend to go down hill unless a lot of work is put into it. You will end up cheating because you men are physical beings.
@adriennerobinson46688 ай бұрын
Yup. Time to be honest with yourself and her. Please don't drag this out, but also weigh the pros and cons. Good luck.
@TheColtonStreeter9 ай бұрын
The only woman I wanted passed 2 months ago and now I dont know what to do, I never got to see her again.
@StephanSpeaksforMen9 ай бұрын
I'm sorry to hear about that and I pray that you heal from all that you have been through and be able to keep moving in faith 🙏
@TheColtonStreeter9 ай бұрын
@StephanSpeaksforMen I made every mistake I could've made, I tried for 2 years. I'm doing my best but this really broke me, I saw forever with her.
@MevrjannahHirzallah9 ай бұрын
If you saw forever in her you wouldnt make too many mistakes and wait for so long
@shabreidavis77909 ай бұрын
@@TheColtonStreeter😕....healing to you sir.
@TheColtonStreeter9 ай бұрын
@@MevrjannahHirzallah who says I waited?
@bigboy230059 ай бұрын
Good to see ya back. Thought you gave up on this channel.
@StephanSpeaksforMen9 ай бұрын
🙏 ❤️
@e_richc3939 ай бұрын
You are absolutely 💯 right thank you so much for the video 🙏🏽
@StephanSpeaksforMen8 ай бұрын
My pleasure ❤️
@anthonyblow1009 ай бұрын
#4 is SPOT ON
@nickelbiongo39387 ай бұрын
Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank youuuuuuuuuu!!! God bless you! 🙏🏾
@silvermine20339 ай бұрын
Great content. I needed this. Thank you!
@ianvitalis9 ай бұрын
Quite timely. Thank you sir!
@MrJerryneal0007 ай бұрын
Brother you described me I’m a relationship guy make a long story short my wife left me and next thing I know I’m getting married again 3 months later I had no time to heal or figure out how to be alone, of course that marriage ended also and now I’m learning how not to be dependent on being in a relationship that is wild, I knew the second wife had all kinds of red flags but she made me feel needed, guys it’s not worth it take time, pray about it, learn to be alone for a while
@ChaseExcellence-gx2bv9 ай бұрын
Yeah. I always got very pretty girls. But when i got free from my bm after she cheated on me with my friend...i hadn't healed. Then this crazy thing happened when i turned 32. Suddenly all these 9s and 10s want me, alot. I went through this 5 year stint where it was blonde bombshell after blonde bombshell after blonde bombshell. Im 6'3, blue eyes and i had become a locally known main event battle rapper with alot of status. And i had been a manager at my warehouse job for a while already. Boiiiiiiii, they tore me tf up. Now i just took a whole year off of dating. I spiraled so far downward....i don't wanna even talk about where i ended up. And the reason those relationships never worked is cuz i never healed from the initial bm thing. I have to ignore all these beautiful women because when you get beautiful women....you get alot more beautiful women. So now im in isolation. Working on my business and trying to navigate this new dating market. I gotta operate differently. I dive in way too fast.
@Erica-cf1xb4 ай бұрын
Those were sex workers. It's a game. Everyone likes to SHARE. They send others your way. You think it's you.. nope. It's sorority thinking. They get a profile of who is giving it up and send it out to everyone. It's messed it. It's a security breech.
@Duddamac9 ай бұрын
You see how they get over us quickly guys,but see that we be thinking about them for years like if you loved me how did you get over me so easily and went to somebody else telling them what you used to tell me. Women y’all scare me 😂
@charchar78979 ай бұрын
Usually before we leave the relationship, we've always removed ourselves from the relationship. We do a lot of talking about the issues while still engaged in the relationship. Not sure about other women, but I need time to self reflect and that usually takes a year or two for me.
@Daisy-w4e9 ай бұрын
Actually it wasn't easy at all, we stayed praying and stuck to our boundaries ❤
@Daisy-w4e9 ай бұрын
Men loves relationships, that's why when a man says he doesn't want a relationship "right now" that means not with you. He just can't say it, doesn't want to hurt you. Or doesn't want to jeopardize u if other options don't work upon him attempting to return ❤
@Dreamsareareality9 ай бұрын
@Duddamac My ex broke up with me. I still struggle. We hurt too. I did not jump to a new guy. I am ok now but it still hurts. Working through it. Women and men struggle after break ups.
@wilfridjoseph61729 ай бұрын
@@Dreamsarearealityappreciate your honesty
@KouMurrell8 ай бұрын
Damn. This is some good teaching.
@johannajo13599 ай бұрын
Great honesty and vulnerabilty.
@StephanSpeaksforMen9 ай бұрын
🙏 ❤️
@cesardrudi82389 ай бұрын
This hits hard! I got some stuff to figure out…
@yakkidiyak9 ай бұрын
My question to you, Stephan. If a woman decided to leave the relationship because the man didn’t show up in his masculine energy. What is the best way to handle the break up conversation? For me, I didn’t say it straight up because 1. I’m not planning to continue the relationship and 2. I feel like I might shatter his self confidence or self worth even more.
@lukas40169 ай бұрын
Try to evaluate if this person is even willing to hear the reason. And if he's ready to hear it. Majority of people don't want to know the truth unfortunately. By the way: the true reason for a breakup is always: lack of love - that should be sufficient
@yakkidiyak9 ай бұрын
@@lukas4016good point. Thanks for sharing!
@alwaysaccurate87259 ай бұрын
Only say something if you want to work it out. The relationship ended- Is he leading in reconciliation? If no let him be and focus on curating ur mind, spirit and health. I had a similar situation. He will think about what u said but it may not hit his mind until another woman says it. For him- its ur personal problem for him. And maybe a masculine woman is a better fit for him.
@KUqdah9 ай бұрын
Great advice....
@lukas40169 ай бұрын
I guess the number 1 would be: They ignore or dismiss the need to heal after a broken heart 😢 Almost noone talks about it inside male community. Thank you Stephan that you are an exception!
@StephanSpeaksforMen9 ай бұрын
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate that ❤️
@carnelia88 ай бұрын
When I'm lying there and he comes in. Grabs a pillow and lays in my lap. What does that mean? It means he's my baby, and he needs comforting. You don't know me. 😊
@HisPerfectpeace8 ай бұрын
Needed this
@StephanSpeaksforMen8 ай бұрын
I'm happy this has been helpful to you. Don't forget to share so that others can receive love, healing, and clarity ❤ 🙏
@HectorRivera-mf6ngАй бұрын
Love his Content
@Jules-t9m9 ай бұрын
Men struggle to get over women for these 4 reasons: 1 His Ego 2 His Ego 3 His Ego 4 His Ego 😂😂😂😂
@Confessions0898 ай бұрын
Exactly 💯
@devinsmith96077 ай бұрын
For me it was the fact she moved on so fast. I should have just accepted and moved on but by her saying we can be friends and maybe rekindle the fire later was my downfall because that day hast came yet. And me knowing that she’s with someone else is messing with me mentally. She says I’m an over thinker.
@perryphillips84246 ай бұрын
Disconnect brother. I’m telling you from experience. When people invest into each other whether emotionally, intimately, etc, etc a piece of them is given. Same vice versa. The more someone connects or quickly one after another the less they are able to connect. Disconnect from her, don’t talk to her, don’t reach out, don’t accept trust me. The fact that she is with someone else or will be and says the two of you can rekindle the fire later is a major red flag or letting you go softly. Either way do not accept what she says. She’ll test the waters with that person and then has you close enough just in case that is disrespectful. Do not subjugate yourself to that abuse or torture. Learn to live as your own person again in time that piece of you you gave her you’ll get back. Learn Devin again and gain more for Devin build up Devin more.
@Erica-cf1xb4 ай бұрын
She's holding you hostage. She knows what's gonna mentally mess with you. It's the sex part. The best thing for you is to disconnect from everything, pray and get back to filling your cup. Do NOT go Hunting. No dating apps. This is a vulnerable time and you have to hide. Whores hunt men who are looking to get revenge. They get raw sex and you gonna be pissed you fell for the finesse game. Stay away from bars too and no NDA signing if you are "high value." That's another trap door. Full of BS. Happy healing.
@Erica-cf1xb4 ай бұрын
@@perryphillips8424 And she is gonna watch him to see who comes next. Just to walk back in to poison them both. These kind are toxic on a whole nother level.
@Tac_Faith9 ай бұрын
Definitely worried I might not bag another baddie like her and overlooking a lot of bs bc of it. I gotta get it together
@myworldonline9 ай бұрын
If she acting up she’s keeping her options open and still has that ‘for sale’ sign up. Only you know your situation, but in your shoes many men have been before. It’s a losing situation.
@Tac_Faith9 ай бұрын
@@myworldonline she solid as far as the availability goes, but I can't lie I treated her like shit for a good while out of immaturity, now that I'm on the get back though she not sure if she wanna chance it and she really been with the back n forth about it since..like one minute we good and the next she questioning the whole shit like "I don't think your gonna be this nice guy forever maybe we should break up"
@Hakeberdh9 ай бұрын
The trust has been broken. Only time can fix this. You only have your word and You have to keep it. I wish you the best.
@Tac_Faith9 ай бұрын
@@Hakeberdh thank you Ma'am, I'm definitely ready to do the work. The trust has been broken on both sides, but I only spoke on the damage I've caused bc I'm built to handle what she did, not so sure about her though. But I will keep my word 🙏🏾
@musicbrazilian70658 ай бұрын
@@Tac_FaithLately I saw dating coaches advise women to treaten men of break ups to keep guys on their toes maybe she is just afraid you will be playing her again.
@MeToo-py1tq9 ай бұрын
I was able to catch your older videos and they have been so uplifting and helpful. My question is this, Am I the dumper or the dumped? I initially told her let's go our separate ways and then attempted to take it back but she said no 👎.
@JenniferOakes9 ай бұрын
you both agreed to break up. It's hard because there's feeling there it sounds like..but it sounds like you need to heal. To break up is no light thing. Surely you had good reasons. No need for back and forth business.
@MeToo-py1tq9 ай бұрын
@@JenniferOakes Thank you and yes you are 💯 correct and very spot on
@JenniferOakes9 ай бұрын
@@MeToo-py1tq I'm sorry it didn't work out. God bless you and send you what you need. May He grant you patience as you wait. Xo
@mariorhodes93819 ай бұрын
Do you have any videos of so call male friends and male friends at the workplace?
@StephanSpeaksforMen9 ай бұрын
I don’t at the moment but I’ll get that done
@mariorhodes93819 ай бұрын
Preciate it
@musicbrazilian70658 ай бұрын
@@StephanSpeaksforMen Can you please do a video on men who seem to be overly interested in another male but relate to women to keep a heterosexual facade? My bf live with guys (to save money) one of his roomates always calls when we are out on dates asking my bf to go home for "dinner" or try to discourage him from meeting me. I told my bf " your roomate is a little too inveated on you" he says no. But I think his roomate is in love with him. My bf is a hunk I can see why other men would find him attractive. When I meet them the roomate told me he had never had a gf he used school as an excuse. I dont believe that. I think they come from a very homophobic culture where men are encarcerated for being gay. I am just wondering : Do some men come out late in their 40 or 50's? His roomate looks a few decades older than my bf. Thank you.
@Erica-cf1xb4 ай бұрын
@@musicbrazilian7065 the roommate sees your man as HIS MAN. He may be totally blind to this. This is the matrix where alot of same sex entanglement sort-of kinda happen. You gotta pray and tell him straight up about what's happening. They cock block heavy and the words from a bromance is heard louder than yours. That's how these relationships goes.
@jasonleonardarnott89099 ай бұрын
You Nailed it Steff 2 or 3 for me ...F......when they make affordable AI women robots & can buy them on Amazon....WOMEN ARE FUCKED ...MEN PUT UP WITH THAT SHIT ANY MORE ...BRING IT ON ...QUICKLY 😂🙏🙏🙏
@Nunyabuiznesss11118 ай бұрын
You must do a lot of cheating and then don’t like the seeds that you planted into your women. You have to have peace within first. Can’t be upset if you aren’t leading with good intentions. You can’t hurt people or bring havoc and chaos to their heir life but expect them to bring peace to yours….which is the problem with most men in general. Work on yourself heal yourself and you will energetically attract what you put out into the world so good or bad… it’s up to you and the energy you carry within.
@clarencecalistro1699 ай бұрын
Thank you for sharing
@StephanSpeaksforMen9 ай бұрын
My pleasure ❤️
@jonathananderson99699 ай бұрын
Your content is 💯💯💯
@StephanSpeaksforMen9 ай бұрын
❤️ 🙂 Thank you!
@jonathananderson99699 ай бұрын
@@StephanSpeaksforMen No doubt
@chosenbyegrace5 ай бұрын
So I have a question for you me any my wife is separated. I am a little confused because one minute she saying she wanted a divorce and then block me from calling her and blocked me on social media and now she unlock blocked phone and taking to my question is at this point I didn’t know what to d
@tobeywan83319 ай бұрын
Stephan , upload more frequently!!!! plisss . heheh
@StephanSpeaksforMen9 ай бұрын
I will ❤
@vanessalawrence63543 ай бұрын
His is ture i agree i was deaing with a man like his had to let him go
@sheritownsend53599 ай бұрын
I can see where 3 of these are the same for women. When women talk about losing a man, they usually mention the same things or inadvertently show they are hurt for the same reasons you gave.
@paullee10579 ай бұрын
🗣️ facts
@whysomanyy56 ай бұрын
What if your a man that has been alone majority of his life, not through trauma but being an only child or not having a lot of family , what if your a guy that’s mastered the art of solitude but just still being a “relationship guy” I know it’s not a necessity but I was born with both my parents in my life they never divorced always been there for one another throughout the marriage even after moving out, I’ve just always seen a 2 people together and work things out now I’m not naive to the fact that things don’t always work like that in reality but I have a 6 year old daughter, I’m a single father, I don’t care to date around but I don’t want my daughter to have less than what I had as far as a healthy full family house hold, and the women in my age group “27” it’s hard out here to find a woman that ain’t out there if you know what I mean that’s worth bringing around my daughter, I’m not raising no sexy red hot girl summer ass girl an don’t want that around her
@CamLovesJesus4 ай бұрын
Tbh for me none of these reasons is why I can’t get over her well I guess maybe I just didn’t fully heal could be it
@BeautyMacQueen8 ай бұрын
Potential is big for a guy that’s worth it! Dan goes for women
@novaj_dunn72219 ай бұрын
Ive been with a woman for over 3yrs now and i have never looked through her phone. We spent Christmas together, baked, cooked etc she has a son which whom i love sooo much and a few days after Christmas i took up her phone and went through some of it and i found out she is in a wholl relationship with another man overseas and they link up when he comes around she and i are always in and argument and we distant EACHOTHER....but he dosent know about me and i didnt know about him but she interduced me to her mom, her boss, her friends, her grandmom and even the baby daddy knows about me and instead of she begging me for forgiveness she blocked me on everything because she doesn't want the guy to find out about me cause he send her money when she wants etc qhen i said this to her mom she cried and got so upset and now i am chasing her and cant let go....i know you will say im stupid and is a fool but i need to let this go but cant let go of her sighhhh
@DeNyce-9 ай бұрын
I am sorry you are going through this. You sound like a great guy. The problem with these types of women is if/when this ends the next woman you meet is going to suffer because of this woman’s doings. The next woman could really be a great and faithful woman. Don’t let this destroy you from continuing to be the great man that you are.
@novaj_dunn72219 ай бұрын
Thanks alot for your kind and encouraging words but that was all I ever wanted, a kind, loving faithful honest and loyal woman but I guess nobody truly loves anymore its just what you can do for them sighhh....I appreciate you so much for this and I'll try my best to continue being who I am even thou its so hard... thank you again
@musicbrazilian70658 ай бұрын
@@novaj_dunn7221I sugest you get a therapist. Also if the guy live overseas he may be for her more like a financial support not her lover like you are. Most womem me included we cannot sexually and romantically love two at once. Sounds like you are her one and only.
@venitayoung91529 ай бұрын
Great video.
@StephanSpeaksforMen9 ай бұрын
🤎 🙂 thank you!
@tebogomaphephe34709 ай бұрын
I stayed with my baby mama now ex for 10yrs because of sex i convinced myself that i love her , She was not the right woman for me , very promiscous constantly using me as an excuse for her cheating ways never takin any accountabilty .....i finally left her after she called me by another mans name when i was touchin her in bed...
@cindyvazquez43333 ай бұрын
I think where this all stems from men and women jump into the marriage bed before they are actually married. So having soul ties will attach you rather you love them or not.
@malusa95088 ай бұрын
I bet there are more women watching this video than men.
@Goodwillwinoverevil19849 ай бұрын
Nah, not my ex. He broke up with me so nah, he ain't strugglin'
@Goodwillwinoverevil19849 ай бұрын
And I'm too old
@JanineAmei9 ай бұрын
Women struggle with these same things. The difference is slim.
@sacampbr19 ай бұрын
Interesting but powerful video!🙏🏾
@StephanSpeaksforMen9 ай бұрын
❤️ 🙂 Thank you!
@malcolmrhodes47169 ай бұрын
I'm divorced now and I'm a relationship guy learning to be alone.(I'm curious) Question -she's in a relationship, if I were to enter into a relationship would she attempt to Hoover me??
@lukas40169 ай бұрын
Why do you even care? Why is it important to you what she does?
@lovejones18978 ай бұрын
@@lukas4016because he still wants her
@LIKEMIKEGG79 ай бұрын
Keep on going back lol. It's super hard. Espwhen dishes are your dreams. Or should I say nightmares
@NatoyaBrown-hc3ct9 ай бұрын
I do am i
@stanleymays38249 ай бұрын
Dude speaking facts! That healing part really hit! That potential part had me stay in a marriage too long.