First Time Hearing Su!cide by Ren | Suicide Survivor Reacts

If you, like most of us, never had Happiness 101 in school, let me be your teacher! Learn the EXACT steps I took in overcoming clinical depression, addiction, self harm and going from ready to end it all to happier than I thought possible. amandawebsterh...
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This is my reaction to my first time hearing Su!cide by Ren. I'm joined today by Rosalie from Rosalie Reacts who is a therapist, so I thought it would be nice to talk about this song from both sides of the mental health coin. Technology gave us a bit of hell, but we worked around it. I hope you'll enjoy it nevertheless!
Check out the video on Rosalie's channel where I introduce her to Breaking the Habit by Linkin Park:
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Rosalie Reacts: / channel
My IG: @mentalamanda
Rosalie's IG: @rosalieelliottofficial
My Email: [e-mail]
Suicide Hotlines by Country: tinyurl.com/ft...
Recommended Playlist (VLOG: My Mental Health Journey)
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[@MentalAmanda]

This was so exciting to have Rosalie from Rosalie Reacts join me for this reaction! I couldn't think of a better match than a suicide survivor and a therapist for this! Make sure to check her channel out (rosalieelliottofficial) where I introduce her to Breaking the Habit by Linkin Park, the song that saved my life. 🥰

[@Chrisjb8583]

I watched your reaction for the video for suicide by Ren and I have to say that the ending was really heavy but you and Rosalie did a great job.

[@williamkeith8740]

❤❤❤

[@dalemurray1318]

I watched her reaction to Hi Ren, it's one of my favorite, I choke up every time I see her pump her fist when Ren stands up.

[@rosalieelliottofficial]

Was an honor to listen to this with you :) thank you for having me on your channel.

[@MissMeKate]

This is a tough song to listen to, but you're such a reassuring presence to discuss it with. It's a huge comfort to so many people that there are therapists and students of psychology who lead with compassion and a yearning to alleviate some of the suffering in humanity.

[@rosalieelliottofficial]

@@MissMeKate thank you! I appreciate you commenting this. Grateful I got to have such a special convo with Amanda and share it with you.

[@williamkeith8740]

♥♥♥

[@researching-with-will]

Hey Rosalie great to see, on a video with Amanda.

[@williamparrish9954]

this is from Ren community page about this song Today I want to write something beautiful and eloquent but I’ve been staring at my computer screen for the past 10 minutes blankly. So I’ll just write. Today, the 1st of June is my friend Joe’s birthday. I first met Joe when I was 8 years old, my friend Josh said I had to meet this guy, so we both walked over to his, it took about 10 minutes from my house. I was greeted by this kid covered head to toe in freckles, he grinned at us, climbed onto the back of his sofa and screamed “Swanton Bomb!” then front flipped off the top and landed right onto his back on a stone floor. He lay still for a moment, twitched a few times, then got up, grinned at us, brushed himself off, and did it again. This was Joe. He’d do anything to make people laugh. He ended up becoming one of my best friends. He was there when we stole our first cigarettes out of his mums pack, way too young. He was there when I had my first kiss, with a girl twice my size on the back of the 42 bus. He was there when I first got so drunk I threw up in the woods after drinking as much white lightning Cider as we could. I was there when he did his first backflip on skates, and saw him do a 720 off of the pier cave, that moment became legendary. Joe was the funny one in our friend group, he’d make us laugh till it hurt. No one had a bad word to say about him. It was impossible not to like him. Usually we put celebrities, athletes and actors on pedestals, turn them into role models and admire them from a far. The person I admired was Joe. Him and Sagar knew every word to the songs id write, we’d get drunk at parties and they’d be singing along as loud as they could. It gave me a lot of confidence back then. On Christmas Eve 2010 I was sitting in a pub with Joe, he’d been feeling low after a couple of consecutive break ups. He tried to check himself into a mental health outpatient facility a few weeks earlier but they turned him away because he didn’t have an appointment. He turned to me and said that sometimes he wished he could just walk into the sea and keep walking. He said it in a kind of half joking throw away comment type of way, then took a sip of his drink, walked over to the juke box and put Dig by Incubus on. If I knew that was the last time I’d see Joe id have hugged him, told him how much I loved him, how much I looked up to him, how much we all loved him, and I wouldn’t have left that pub. I didn’t know that, so I finished my drink, said happy Christmas and left. Two nights after Christmas I got woken up by a phone call at 3am, it was my friend Ella. She told me Joe was on the Menai Bridge, a large suspension bridge connecting the main land to the isle of Anglesey where we lived. He’d been on the phone to her in tears saying goodbye. He told her to tell everyone he loved them. I pulled on my clothes as fast as I could and started running toward the bridge. It was up a hill. I lived about a ten minute walk away, I could run it in five. As I ran I started dialling then redialing his number. The line was busy, which was a good sign, it meant he was still on the phone to someone. As I got about halfway, the busy tone changed. It told me the line was out of service. I got a sinking feeling and picked up my speed. I arrived to the bridge minutes after I left my house. It was deafeningly quiet. I was the first person to arrive. I got there probably about 2 minutes too late. Joe’s body was never found. Initially we refused to believe he was gone. The coastguard came out that night, with boats, and helicopters. Me and my friends spent the next 10 days putting up missing posters everywhere we could, walking up and down beaches with flashlights, getting about 3 hours sleep a night. When you’re walking up and down a beach with a torch when its dark everything looks like a body. We still haven’t found Joe. As his birthday came around, I wrote a song, freckled angels, a song I dedicated to Joe which I sang in front of his friends and family. A charity football match was put on for him, raising money for the RNLI where I won two bottles of wine in a raffle, I drank them both as quickly as I could, naturally, turned to my friend and probably slurred something along the lines of “This is the last time I ever drink” That was 12 years ago, I haven’t touched a drop of alcohol since. My first ever album I named Freckled Angels in tribute of one of the best people I ever knew. Skip forward some years. I’d been sitting on this song I wrote a few years ago. It always felt a little incomplete. It was going to be my next release, but I was dreading it because of this feeling of incompletion. I decided, very last minute, to do something about it. I sat by my piano, and the rest of the song fell out of me. I hadn’t thought about Joe in a little while, and the song initially wasn’t going to be about him, but the words all fell out of me. I wrote and recorded a whole 2 minutes extra, recording each part as I wrote it. Tears spewing out of my eyes pretty much the whole time, and decided not to do my usual thing of perfecting each line, I just recorded every line as it came. This will be my next release.

[@sheepcouldtalk]

“I still cant find that anger, all i find is missing you” always hits me, because so many people turn to anger to cope with loss, it’s one of those stages. But he cant find anger, just the pain and sadness missing friend

[@stevo9336]

This song was a revelation to me. I was deep in the spiral where I genuinely thought my loved ones would be better off if I was not here. Rens visceral description of how suicide impacted him helped me see that I was wrong. I have since sought help and continue the fight. Songs like this are so important for shedding light onto this subject and rather than censoring them, we should be having open discussions. These ideations fester and grow in the quiet and the dark. They wither when exposed. So if you have even a suspicion that someone might be struggling, talk to them- come out and ask them directly if they have ever considered this step - in a gentle manner. If they admit it, this opens the door to the light and the first step to getting help. Thanks for the reaction- it was excellent.

[@sammyd8860]

Great reaction/conversation. 100% agree with your response to people saying suicide is selfish. Unless someone has been in that state of mind themselves, they have absolutely no way of understanding what the person is thinking. And, as you will know, sometimes the pain can be so great that the person may not be capable of rational thought at all, they simply want the pain to be over. People saying those things really need to educate themselves. In the song Ren didn't blame Joe for what he had done but he did, deliberately, show the pain and anguish that it leaves behind.

[@jimblob44]

One thing I hate to hear is when people say suicide is "the cowards way out", it is anything but cowardly, ironically it is probably the bravest a person can be just moments from the act.

[@DyvmSlorm]

Such a powerful message. First, Ren makes us relate to feelings of self-harm but, "never finding the right time". Then he breaks into how someone else's self-harm changed his life. In my opinion, Joe's end is one of the reasons Ren is still here. He knew what he went through and did not want to put others through that. Not a very narcissistic attitude. So, what I get is that we all feel depressed (at times) and many of us imagine how much better others or ourselves might be if we took that final step. Then he explains how those decisions will NOT make others' lives easier but scar them for life. When anyone who is within the first part of the song and thinking thoughts like that, they need to hear the second part. A decision like that is only an answer for yourself (and not a good one IMHO). It will NOT make others' lives easier. I think I've said before here, that none of us really know how many people our lives touch. Remove ourselves and we create a ripple so much larger than we believe. Even a forced smile to your morning barista might make their day brighter. When we are gone, so is that smile, forced or not. PS Thank you Rosalie for getting me into Ren with Hi Ren . As for self-harm, I've never been able to imagine that. No matter how dark my thoughts, I've always been able to imagine starting over from scratch as a viable alternative no matter my loss or how hard it might be.

[@dropbarracuda]

One point: when Ren says "brother" he's not talking about an actual family brother, so theres no weird or abusive family dynamic being talked about.

[@kellyt5341]

Right these symptoms and the sickness is such a part of his life because he has been dealing with it for years, it is like a close sibling.

[@deepbluehue3]

& " useless my mother / truth is my father " I like he added those references that many people may assume is literal ... as others might relate to it / I think he prefers people make up thier own meanings to his songs ...Ren has said when he mentions his family , it is symbolic manifestations of his body pain .

[@Hello_I_am_Jeff]

I absolutely love watching people’s reactions to this video specially. The rawness of the relatability to this painful subject, elicits such visceral emotions. It makes me tear up every time.

[@Jason_xofilos]

I am so glad you two connected especially for this song. “For Joe” is worth a reaction. Thank you for your reaction and analysis. Thank you, Rosalie for being there for Amanda during her reaction.

[@BrandonWestfall]

I always recommend Freckled Angels over everything else. It's criminally underrated and is the basis for the songs For Joe and Suicide.

[@catsandcrafts171]

The family references are not about his own family dynamic, it's that he calls the attributes by family names, so he is feeling like illness is a family member, 'bruising' is his sister, feeling useless is his mother, truth is his father... etc. I.e. he's surrounded by all these emotions that feel like his family. hope that makes sense! Hard to word it!

[@Foxsuper1]

perfect 👌 thanks

[@Silkytoaster]

You have ‘ For Joe “ , it’s so beautifully done .

[@iancollins65]

This song was started years ago with the first section just being about Ren and the ups and downs he has felt over the years. He then had an epiphany about his friend Joe and was feeling inspired to add that end section directly about Joe and what Ren experienced the night his best pal took his life. He said he started writing and the words just started spilling out and when he was finished recording it he couldn’t do another take because it was too raw to say the words over and over. You can hear him crying and that’s genuine emotion, not this something for effect. This song is extremely powerful and I hope it helps many people cope and decide that reach out for help rather then make the decision to leave the earth by way of suicide.

[@troydruckenmiller1751]

You say share my story. Ok here goes. By time i was 12 I hated my exhistance. I hated God. I used to challenge him to strike me dead. My parents had knock down drag out fist fights usually over me.I turned to drugs at 12. Quit at18. Joined the Air Force at 19 and became an alcoholic. I quit drinking December 14,1989. I became a Christain and have never regretted it. It's been a wild ride. I am 57 now retired on ssdi with a disintegrating back but praise God i can still tell my story. Bless all of you no matter who you are and what you believe.

[@DanielPeter-e9o]

You be what you choose to do! Stay strong 👍

[@swissguy8052]

Nice having Rosalie here !

[@robarnold3690]

Loved This reaction. It blows me away that Ren refers to his symptoms and struggles as family members because that made something click in my head that I'd never been able to vocalize before. That ending always breaks my heart. Thank you for doing this one.

[@LasseStaldMadsen]

Reminds of a story I was told. A soldiers is caught in a hole, all he can do is dig. But he can not get out. He is desperate. Another soldiers jumps in with him and he cries out; 'What are you doing now we are both stuck!' The second soldier look at him and says; 'I've been in a hole before, and now there are 2 of us to do the digging'

[@soshie]

The collab I didn't know I needed

[@DocHogan]

Holy crap. .. Saw the two of you together in the thumbnail and my brain broke just a little. Yay!!!

[@rosalieelliottofficial]

:)

[@tonytravis5624]

This one is very thought provoking and very emotional. Thank you both!

[@AndrewinAus]

Great reaction and chat between two of my favourite reactors who include both music and psychology in their channels. I loved the fact you Amanda were able to collaborate with Rosalie in exploring both Linkin Park, one of my favourite artists from a while back and then Ren from a more present time. You did very well reacting to the second part of the song, when I saw you had reacted to Su!cide I thought 'Oh no, the reference he makes to Joe and the effect his passing had on Ren is just going to shatter her'. To me both parts of this piece of art need to be heard far and wide to get us all to think. Not only to make sure we are there for others who are struggling, but if we are struggling to know we can seek help and support and to cope with the voices in our head like those that must have put Ren's friend Joe on the Menai Bridge that night.

[@morecrayonsplzmcw4836]

This was probably the most insightful reaction to this song I've seen.. Great job guys❤️

[@janinewalker1748]

I'm a survivor aswel and completely understand what you are saying. I've subscribed for more Ren if that's ok and I was hoping I could ask for a request - dominoes? Official lyric video please ❤❤❤

[@christopherpalmer8560]

I've been hoping I would get to see you react to this one. I was a little scared for you knowing what the song is about and what you've been through. It was great seeing Rosalie on your channel too, I love watching her videos too. I hope we get to watch you fall further down the Ren rabbit hole.

[@TRPLD]

Yeah, this song hits different. I thought Hi Ren was the most emotionally charged song by Ren, then he came out with this. Man I bawled my eyes out the first 20 times watching the video!

[@Silkytoaster]

This a great response/analysis . Please Please do the next vid For Joe - and do it with Rosalee - you two make a great team

[@jamiereed6080]

proud of you ladies! keep up the good work! sending light and love❤

[@GneasYTC]

Great reaction, Amanda. And it's fun to see Rosalie in a 'supporting actor' role for a change! 🥰 Subbed in hopes of more Ren (and his multiple collaborators). PS: If it means anything to you - this stranger on the internet is glad you're still around.

[@Pantherking916]

I never fail to be amazed & humbled by your bravery & strength in facing songs that address suicide. You, Amanda, are not only a survivor and a fighter and an inspiration, you are a Warrior Queen & sharing your life, feelings and experiences with us is more valuable and valued than you will ever know. Thank you for saving people you have never met. Just thank you for you.

[@timm2428]

I love this song it hits so hard but speaks to so much,tried sharing it but too many just see the title not the words of the song. SIck boy ,,,me getting ill,,,cant eat,,body purgers,,when i was sick id puke every time i ate. Father,narcasist,,,Bruises my brother,me and him beating each other, bruises my sister,both of being SA at the same time, the red eyes, have excepted ive another DID in me a darker one. Hard to fly when your wings are cut,mine were as a child. The rest of the ending the times i tried ending it and glad it failed .I love this song and Ren as his songs helped me realize what i was doing to myself mentally.As I heal realize i locked my youth away to protect myself.

[@cas9065]

A good decision to do this one with Rosalie. That made it special and must have been a help.

[@davidberesford7009]

Thank you for that. I found that the views that you two expressed made Ren's emotional performance even more touching.

[@MissMeKate]

Wonderful insights and empathy. Thank you. ❤

[@cathryntruebloood3913]

Just thank you. I still cry every time I watch the video, every time. Thank you so much for opening yourself up for us.

[@Jonz808]

31-year survivor here and been on both sides. I agree with your assessment that the healing is an ongoing almost a lifetime.

[@adama.2336]

Love ya both this was cool tyvm

[@braca977]

I was waiting this reactions for months. Thank you !

[@fawn92]

This was great!❤ Thank you both!💐💐

[@Mogel-]

I love these reactions to get input from other perspectives. It feels like everything Ren makes has so many meaning and messages. How people interpret his songs often relates to their own experiences, and it's really good to hear all people and their perspective of it. I also feel the first part is contradictory in tone vs content. My perspective on it is that it is a bit about suicidal ideation, and for me in periods I've struggled with it, the "words"/my thoughts repeats that wish to disappear that keeps going over and over in my brain. The light part of the music speaks to me as hope. Hope that it will pass, hope that others can feel that, but overcome it. Hope that we can find strength in others experiences. Great reaction, and great to hear your thoughts on it! Much love

[@MentalAmanda]

Thank you for your support.

[@mikmook4781]

Ooh! I discovered your channels separately but wasn't expecting to see you together. I agree with what Rosalie said about the 'narcissistic' line. Mental illness can make you very self-obsessed, even if you don't want to be. Too busy torturing myself to thing think about anyone else. That's not narcissism. It's far from excessive love of oneself.

[@briancoker1]

This was amazing; the two of you together made this reaction so much richer and deeper, and I really appreciate you both for being so open and caring!

[@juxtapoxymoron]

I concur that you have to do FOR JOE as it touches deep but cathartic and the wings are more elaborated. Hugs from Germany 🤘

[@williamkeith8740]

Two of my favourite reactors - thank you both for sharing your insights to a complex issue for so many of us.

[@dalemurray1318]

Good Stuff!! Thank you for your service

[@ShaunDeMello]

My emotions can change as quickly as i can turn my head and see different objects or people. I will have almost all emotions 24/7, all depends on what I'm looking at, and how much i want to let out my emotions

[@AlSnoopsReid]

I think Amanda will be quite surprised when she eventually listens to Sick BOI regarding the world being sick, lol.

[@debrashrider4062]

Lovely breakdown and reaction. Thank you both for your time and thoughts

[@davidheeter602]

2 of my favorite reactors. Love ya both

[@DogDocKat]

Very insightful reaction from both of you. Really enjoyed your reaction ❤❤

[@phaedralewis285]

A beautiful and thoughtful reaction. I had not thought deeply into the Fibonacci sequence before, but it made me think if you a number is the sum of the two previous numbers maybe just as you are the sum of the previous events in your life. For Ren prehaps, the loss of his friend and the loss of his health add up to what is currently Ren, Who all of us are in the current is the culmenation of what was before. I love and am constantly frustrated by the fact that he leaves it up to us to decide on our own interpretations.

[@jamiereid7428]

Lucifer shout out is great, man what a show. And also a great analysis! 😁❤️

[@LostHate]

Music is passion, music is hope, music is life - Dany Villarreal Do you ever plan to do Linkin Park - Leave Out All The Rest? If so I highly recommend Andie Case tribute to Chester version. I feel like the song was what Chester wanted everyone to know and remember of him, his "note" so to say. Everyone that misses him needs to hear it.

[@PoliticallyPink]

Great reaction! Remember, though, everyone's interpretation is valid, and none exclusive. My interpretation is that the world IS sick lots of times in lots of ways, even when you have the best around you. There's a lot of greed, cruelty, injustice, suffering, poverty, abuse, exploitation, pollution, capitalism, apathy, rage.....

[@troydruckenmiller1751]

Joe was the fun loving guy. He just had a really bad day. I truly believe that Joe can be happy that Ren is using this tragic occurance to reach out and help other people. Watch the other videos. What Satan meant for evil God has turned for good through Ren.

[@Perktube1]

Well well, what a collab!

[@demoninjadsm6369]

Ren is amazing. He was miss diagnosed for awhile. Bittin by a tick boy. Had lyme disease and doctors missed it. He battles depression and survives. If you reach out to him im sure he would do a interview with you amanda

[@MrNiccholas]

A question I've ask, and still ask, is how long can I keep going when the only thing holding me here is the fear of the pain I would cause my loved ones if I did end it. I recognize that stopping my personal pain doesn't end that pain, it transfers it, and magnifies it, to those who love me. But when the fear of causing someone else pain is the only thing keeping me here, how long can I bare my pain? Beyond that, how do I not become bitter and resentful towards my loved ones? I long for the sweet release from all this pain, but they are standing in-between me and that release. For now I focus on, and remind myself of the pain I would cause if I checked out. But how long can I bare my pain before it overwhelms me? Right now the feeling is not as visceral as it was a few months ago, but when the next wave comes will I still have the strength to continue?

[@MentalAmanda]

You know the answer. If the pain is not addressed, not long. And you shouldn't HAVE to be here in pain. But the deeper answer is that there are other ways to end that pain that keeps you alive. It's a matter of finding them.

[@bob2shred894]

You think that your ready for the first listen of this song because of the name of the song but when you know Rens story or been connected to someone taking their life than it hits extra hard.

[@ShaunDeMello]

Self awareness, open minded, and higher IQ makes life quite a struggle. Add in other factors like lack of money and security, and you just end up living in your head, and never really being free or at peace

[@ShaunDeMello]

@bradleybrown8428 you misunderstand my statement. High IQ comment was not to say that it is better. It was said with the meaning that having a higher IQ is extremely more stressful, and harder to control. There is no better or worse, but there is difference. And the more people talk, the more information that gets put out there for those who might have needed to see it.

[@ShaunDeMello]

@bradleybrown8428 I was just saying it's intense on so many levels. But it doesnt stop me from socializing, people do, lol. Because people suck, animals and children rule. Kids and animals are what they are, and they do not sugar coat it. Then there's being an empath. But that's for another day. Just glad I didn't by accident say something to offend. Because trust me I will. And I won't even have a clue, until ya mention it. I'm blunt, love talking trash, pull no punches, and an open book. Try reading into the things I say and most will be wrong. Thanks by the way for making the effort, regardless of whether or not I needed it, making that effort is what is lacking to life today

[@FooDogDat]

The first part of 'Suic*de' was produced with this thoughts of his illness path and how it (and his mistreatment) made him feel, he thought he'd processed and come to terms with his childhood friend Joe Hughes suicide when they were 19 years old some time before, but the song felt incomplete and he sat down and started writing the final section line by line and recording it, and left it as he reacted to the words with the emotions they created. There is often a social justice thread in Ren's videos, or they are completely social commentary. 'Sick Boi' deals with his illness path, the misdiagnosis for years, the abuse of doctors, the wrong medications and its consequences, and the consequences of untreated Lyme Disease which includes psychosis. The illness thread and medication issues run through a number of songs there are mentions of the 'treatments' offered Ren in 'Hi Ren.' Other songs are: 'Crutch,' 'Diazepam,' 'Sick Boi,' 'Chalk Outlines,' 'How to Be Me.' Dealing with his childhood friend Joe Hughes, 'Freckled Angels,' which is also the title of his first album, 'Suic*de,' and especially 'For Joe.' Social justice issues in 'Dominos,' 'Money Game Part 1, 'Money Game Part 2,' 'Money Game Part 3,' 'Eden.' There is context that you are missing by not knowing the backstory that is told by some earlier videos, or in interviews, or his bio. The Pig Butcher, Pig Mask symbology is a bit clearer in meaning and intent after watching 'Sick Boi.' I notice when you restarted after the pause that the bit rate went way down, this can happen when you pause and have the bit rate set to Auto, you should select the highest bit rate for your reaction videos.

[@edwardkent]

Watching this song by Ren, should always be followed by another Ren song "I'ts Alright" kzbin.info/www/bejne/nnTWgnePbaZppcksi=7GtdNdtO1au3snOM

[@eryksun]

18:00, to clarify "double Dutch", in British English it means something that's nonsensical or gibberish, in contrast to the typical use in American English to refer to a skipping game with two ropes.

[@ju12thdr]

Great reaction

[@larryc3860]

To Amanda, Rosalie and all their viewers.......above all, keep 'Joe' ( R.I.P ) in your prayers we share Ren's pain.......

[@Hellseeker1]

ADHD/Alcoholism/Several Losses Just wanna say if your all here, I'm happy your alive. I have entertained the thought many times throughout life. If I had kept drinking, I'm sure I would have been long gone by now. For me I am into many hobbies, the best thing to do is find something fun to keep you occupied that you can do sober. Trust me man, Satan busy. Misery doesn't stop when your dead, it spreads.

[@donapaterson832]

REST IN PEACE JOE

[@mrsdiana324]

I love rosiliee she as great insights such important. Conversation to be having

[@cherylrobbins715]

Outstanding…

[@johnthompson6374]

I felt his Narcissist lyric is about the guilt of asking for help. Peace/JT

[@davidgaps6589]

I know I have a narcissistic disorder. I struggle to find the balance using it to help me, without using others. Sometimes I think I reach to help to prove I’m not too controlled by my selfish needs.

[@MentalAmanda]

No because you have empathy, something narcissists are incapable of.

[@mama-llama4527]

Love this interaction…please do more ren together ❤.

[@EODSnowboarder]

Good reaction. If I may suggest something for future guests on the channel: Have you both on the screen at the same time...at all times. Why? Because body language is 50% of communication. Being able to see the other as they are receiving is just as important as seeing you as you talk.

[@MentalAmanda]

That was what we planned. The recording software had other plans. So we had to make it work!

[@helenjarvis7755]

Double Dutch means nonsense in UK english

[@dropbarracuda]

Nice! Always wondered about that line. Thank you 😊

[@jenk4653]

Ren also has another song called Freckled Angels is also about Joe.

[@keymaker-k7h]

the idiom isnt ' misery attracts company' its misery loves company.. meaning people who are unhappy find comfort in knowing others are unhappy... 🎤⬇️✌

[@jaime7655]

You should look into ICU by Citizen Soldier. Just a heads up in the comments on the song it has a lot saying that they broke down crying because it hit them hard because of their pasts.

[@RxDoc2010]

I didn’t think about anybody the night I took all of those pills. My only thought was that the pain was finally going to end. To be fair all I thought about in the months leading up to that attempt was the pain. It has been 4 years since I tried to end my life and to this day I still consider it daily. I believe that my life will end as a result of suicide, but I will never attempt it again, I will only succeed next time.

[@MentalAmanda]

I know what it's like to feel that relentless urge. Please message me (IG @mentalamanda or email in video description). I care if your light goes out.

[@mariabarlow5932]

I’m reacting to you reacting hard times sometimes much love

[@RxDoc2010]

The repetition of the word suicide has two purposes. The first is to put a thumb in the eye of those that tell you you can’t say suicide, the second is to take power away from the word. In the first case it’s like the kid when the parent says you can’t say that. The kid, of course has to question authority, but also can’t understand why you can’t say the word. In the second case it is said that confronting your fears gives you power over them. Saying the word over and over again, takes its power away and makes the fear almost seem silly. We have to talk about suicide, we have to be able to say the word. Talking about it takes its power away and allows you to take back control.

[@MentalAmanda]

It's like Voldemort in Harry Potter!

[@rodb9275]

Beautiful

[@johnstipanic2389]

WE ARE WE or in the words of rage against the machine WAKE UP look around do not be passive LOVE or not HATE or not lets just try BE

[@alanmai5656]

living with a close friend who did suiside! this is how u leave your love ones! in pain

[@MentalAmanda]

💔

[@coppersssnek9619]

please please give Badflower - "Ghost" and/or "Jester" and "Move me" a listen! they're amazing and tackle a lot of taboo subjects with a lot of emotion and an awesome sound. also if you haven't listened to them yet, Nine Inch Nails - "All the love in the world", "Somewhat damaged", "This isn't the place", "Even deeper" and many others..

[@MentalAmanda]

I did Ghost and it got blocked. It's on my Patreon.

[@coppersssnek9619]

@@MentalAmanda oh that's such a shame :(

[@rp3569]

Hello, I have a personal request for you for a new song and it doesn’t have to be an immediate one but I personally would love for you to have this song on your channel. A song called “Kiss My Ashes goodbye”, it was made by a band named “Woods of Ypres” and it was mainly a one man band but sadly, it all ended when the lead singer, David Gold, was killed in an accident in 2011 and this song came out after his death. The song consists of 2 parts and is about 11 min long so look out for that version of the song when you try to find it and don’t forget to have the lyrics off to the side as you listen. Not rushing you to do this song but would appreciate you doing this song as there are very few videos with it, it very much fits with this channel

[@iancollins65]

Sick Boi is kind of a double entendre. There’s Sick, as in not okay and Sick, as in Awesome. You can either be sick boi or a sick boi. Interpret how you will.

[@renedavids6154]

Ren is very active on you tube. Great rap songs and his lyrics are always insane. The last one i saw was Seven Sins. Great number. Did you listen to the song from Metallica: Screaming suicide. Great songtekst with strong message.

[@Hellseeker1]

I'm 41 and I'm falling apart as it is, I feel at this point I made it this far, staying alive is more of a fuck you to god then anything.

[@fanatic26]

I wouldnt call him a former street musician, he will go back to it when healthy enough and in the uk id bet money

[@anthonyt1971]

I'd like to suggest " I'm not OK " by Citizen Soldier. Excellent.

[@captinclutch4633]

If you want 2 very powerful songs to react to, there is Would It Matter by Skillet and Would Anyone Care by Citizen Soldier. Both very powerful, emotional songs that represent me

[@MentalAmanda]

Here is my reaction to Would Anyone Care kzbin.info/www/bejne/hXuzqJyGo615ZpY

[@deepbluehue3]

' Double Dutch ' is an old British term meaning ' non sense ' / jibberish ... relating to how British people thought the German language sounded in the olden days ... ( it was referenced as Dutch back then ) so " I see the world through Fibonacci sequences and double Dutch ( order and non sense ).

[@bill9605]

I don't know you never done Judas priest Beyond the realms of death I have NF2 Been sick for 6 years In a nursing home for 4 years Lost everything Job home dead from the waist down Constant pain Do more drugs than I ever did That song sums up everything Thanks for your channel

[@MentalAmanda]

I can't imagine facing so much. I hope that you find the healing and peace you deserve and find your meaning and purpose. I love hearing stories of people that overcome the odds 💖

[@michaelzainey5781]

Linkin Park- More The Victim, Massive and Healing Foot.

[@drunkenmettalist5158]

but no pushit?.. many of us will have you through this journey amanda...

[@jamieloesch3126]

I think you would have a great reaction to the song "devil" by Phix

[@anthonywilliams8849]

🌻

[@Vmcf1968]

look at the video message ren did about 1mil subs its great

[@catrionaskivingtonskivingt4819]

Fantastic song his lyrics carry so much weight.

[@FrankUli]

another great song to listen to would be Scar Tissue by The Red Hot Chilly Peppers

[@victormarquez4826]

You should listen to (stryper) is a good band I listen to this band when I was depressed they make me feel good again