Miscellaneous Myths: King Midas

[@Cometstarlight]

Dionysus evading Midas and saying, “WHOA, NO TOUCHY!!” made me cackle

[@ryoumakoushiro7447]

I somehow imagine Midas wearing Kronk's outfit and Dionysus wears Kuzco's

[@dweebteambuilderjones7627]

@@ryoumakoushiro7447 *Kronk's.

[@ryoumakoushiro7447]

@@dweebteambuilderjones7627 Done... I forgot his name starts with K

[@omnicupid6694]

"Emperor's New Groove" is such a great movie. Yzma absolutely steals the show.

[@ryoumakoushiro7447]

@@omnicupid6694 And the serum.... Sorta

[@Maria-fz8km]

Is no one gonna mention how adorable Selenus looks the whole time, like a big pampered cat at Midas' party

[@ivyinkwell1754]

Agreed, It's also cute how Midas was so honored his eyes lit up the whole time

[@himboghost629]

Ikr

[@drrandom2639]

1:04

[@IHRDI]

I kinda wanna pat him on the head-

[@kevinnorwood8782]

"Now Dionyssus may be the God of wine and drunken madness, but he DEFINITELY knows a bad idea when he hears one." That line ALONE should be a lesson, people!

[@morganrobinson8042]

Shit has gotten real when Dionysus is the voice of reason.

[@jongmikim602]

@@morganrobinson8042 if the drunk god becomes the voice of reason, you L I S T E N to him

[@theatresreyes2115]

If someone who is really well-known to be drunk 24/7 tells you your idea is bad, you listen to them. Don't risk it, people.

[@KiixPronouncedKicks]

@@theatresreyes2115 They know a bad idea when they see one, since they have most likely made a few themselves

[@gunsandroses896]

@@theatresreyes2115 Uncle Qrow always.

[@Just_Some_Guy_with_a_Mustache]

*Midas:* "I think your music is kind of ass." *Apollo:* "And now, so are you."

[@aleaf1494]

LMAO 💀

[@Lilithksheh7723]

And so Midas became kinda ass. To be specific, it was his ears.

[@FioreCiliegia]

Frankly he got off hella easy. Could have been turned into a slavers pack animal so…

[@aliferouselephant4618]

Quite literally.

[@joseleonido3479]

*your ears.

[@potarisantperson2319]

Honestly pretty good king in Greek myth standards. Treat his guests well, didn’t blame anyone else for his mistakes, DIDN’T MURDER ANYONE.

[@Elthian]

Yeah, not like that-one-king-in-particular *ahem* Sisyphus *AHEM*

[@jongmikim602]

Nor try to make someone else die through the power of someone else

[@yareachdragon1681]

@@jongmikim602 Which king was that?

[@jongmikim602]

@@yareachdragon1681 every king that send a greek hero to fight creatures in order to kill them without necessarily killing them

[@yareachdragon1681]

@@jongmikim602 So like the King of Sephirios, gotcha

[@greenacadian4197]

"We need more plants like this." No, Red. NO WE DON'T. *frantically runs to check on the holes in his backyard*

[@zenebean]

*gives crabgrass warning glare*

[@MegaChickenfish]

Steven Universe, yelling at a cactus: NO WE DON'T. Cactus, mockingly: _No we don't!_

[@personamithulu]

Next time make Alrunes.

[@meepobeepo4536]

"MIDAS HAS ASS EARS.. MIDAS HAS ASS EARS..."

[@LuckySketches]

If you shout Daft Punk lyrics into the hole they'll give you a concert every time it's particularly windy.

[@K9TheFirst1]

I'm happy to find a myth where the Protag doesn't die horribly. And an Olympian that doesn't overreact! Will wonders never cease!

[@Brian-tn4cd]

I seem to recall he became one of the judges of the dead at some point so things must've gotten better Edit: i was wrong it was Minos, not Midas

[@johnedwards1559]

@@Brian-tn4cd I think that's Minos.

[@samdancer101]

@@Brian-tn4cd I think that was Minos, the step-dad to the minotaur

[@cassie5248]

arguably apollo did with the whole donkey ears thing. at least in versions of the myth where it's more purposeful

[@amiscellaneoushuman3516]

@@cassie5248 honestly giving him donkey ears seems pretty laid back by Greek god standards, seeing as he had essentially committed blasphemy (by suggesting the the God of Music wasn't the best musician)

[@Tarnthewarrior]

"Known for being very dumb" Midas: why you bully me

[@Kakaragi]

He should’ve wished for immortality

[@Grim_Sister]

Cause it’s true. Both incidents are kinda proof to how stupid he was

[@carlosroo5460]

Me: Why are you making it so easy?

[@Grim_Sister]

@@Kakaragi Immortality in Gods lingo could also mean “fall asleep and never wake up while a goddess creepily stares at you until the end of time.”

[@asdrubalvect6328]

@@Kakaragi Midas, if he wished for that: "Christianity again, after Cowboys? YOU WENT ALL THE WAY BACK AROUND!?"

[@MazzaAzi]

"We need more plants like this." Do you WANT nature to sound like a full discord voice chat channel?

[@clayxros576]

Yes.

[@dweebteambuilderjones7627]

"THE HILLS...THEY SING! _BADLY!_ THE DAMN BLUEGRASS WON'T SHUT UP ABOUT THE *FUCKING* WELLERMAN! AND THE CLOVERS KEEP SINGING WAP OFF-KEY! *YOU'RE FUCKING PLANTS, YOU DON'T **_HAVE_** VAGINAS!* "

[@kaboomgaming4255]

@@dweebteambuilderjones7627 sir, is that a Rickroll?

[@dweebteambuilderjones7627]

@@kaboomgaming4255 No, and I'm a girl.

[@maglev0789]

Sounds like a joke SCP

[@tbotalpha8133]

Can we just acknowledge that, in terms of "petty revenge meted out by the gods for minor slights", Midas got off shockingly lightly?

[@00220022inferno]

I think its because the Gods knew he was a Nice Guy. Just that he was a bit of an idiot.

[@lsedge7280]

@@00220022inferno I like to imagine Dionysus probably felt bad for the guy and was like "no, no, this guy is my guy, he's a bit dumb but he's got a good heart"

[@miss_baphomet]

to be fair his transgressions were extremely minor, he just didn't think things through as well as he should and disagreed about musical tastes. not exactly on the same level as say tantalus or sisyphus.

[@MoonPatch]

@@miss_baphomet Counterargument, Aphrodite was more than willing to damn you for the unforgivable sin of being prettier than her, so I still think there's some serious luck involved in Midas dodging those bullets.

[@ZaZi-Zeta01]

@@MoonPatch I find it kinda' depressing that this basically means that husbands weren't ever allowed to tell their wives how much they loved them, or else they'd get smote. Aphrodite not about that loyal man buizz

[@tinagoli2022]

midas: literally has a different opinion apollo: I diagnose you with donkey ears

[@seldomstudios6351]

Twitter moment

[@jarcake6581]

Ah! Twitter! Filled full with The Ass' Ears!

[@DarkestElemental616]

Appropriate since medicine also falls under Apollo's domain.

[@seldomstudios6351]

@@DarkestElemental616 these gods need to be more descriptive with their resumes, SHEESH!

[@Irlseandiaz]

He's literally the god of music it was obvious midas was saying pan should win bc he felt bad or something

[@AkaiNeko4]

Real talk, it was an unusually cool move by Dionysus to kindly not include “air” in the things Midas could turn to gold

[@Keairan3]

Partly, but that's also because the ancient greeks didn't realize air was a physical thing.

[@anna_in_aotearoa3166]

Honestly, the first thing that always comes to mind (reading it as an adult) is, was his own body specifically exempt from the blessing/curse? Like, if not... imagine the first time he scratched an itch, let alone had to pee! 😳

[@gothnerd887]

@@anna_in_aotearoa3166 he's probably got servants to do that for him

[@TuffLP]

@@metachirality ​ @Keairan3 Ye, it's not hard to figure out that air exists when you need to breath it and can push it around with your hands etc. It also doesn't take a genius to figure out that wind is just air moving. And wind certainly exists.

[@marocat4749]

And with pissing apollo of and getting away not as plant or different, two not horrible gods.

[@Mgauge]

The ears weren’t even a curse. Apollo was probably as surprised as anyone else it happened.

[@darwinxavier3516]

It's like how puns have magical power in the Beetlejuice cartoon.

[@sarafontanini7051]

Apollo: O_O WHOOPSY DOODLE! *flees*

[@BrightWulph]

Makes you wonder why he didn't fix it immediately, unless he was so shocked he just bolted. XD

[@himboghost629]

@@BrightWulph probably

[@amethyst_cat9532]

Pan: What on earth did you just do? Apollo: I have no idea, but I'm interested in seeing where this goes.

[@BlightVonDrake]

Midas: "Isn't "good" music subjective, so there are no real winners here, only the beauty of music?" Apollo: "Cringe."

[@lmbusiness5300]

LMAO

[@emiartse]

legit made my day

[@theAudaciousAudacity]

“For being so cringe I punish you with ass ears”

[@ultimateme3049]

@@theAudaciousAudacity Farts

[@fluent4530]

Cringe Plus ratio

[@shadowdroid776]

Dionysus, the only god I've seen in any of these shorts that actually makes the protagonist double check their wish.

[@Olimar92]

He's the God of Drunkenness, he knows that people do stupid shit drunk, and it worries him when they do similar stupid shit sober.

[@StonedtotheBones13]

I should prob read/watch more before I say this, but Dionysus seems like one of the more... Benevolent gods?

[@annabelvanpelt]

@@StonedtotheBones13yeah he is! Doesn’t mean he hasn’t done some questionable things a few times, but for the most part he’s kind and he wants to make people happy and stuff :)

[@anunusualaceofspades]

@@StonedtotheBones13 as far as greek gods go, he is rather chill. some retellings write him as... not unlike the other members of his pantheon. but otherwise? he just drinks wine and parties it up with his bacchantes, yeah he will get mad if you disrepect him (*coughcough* the bacchae *coughcough*), but besides the maenads going around killing people he doesnt go out of his own way to stir up trouble lmao

[@lornbaker1083]

He at least warns people before they end up stumbling into something bad. Then when They do, he just shrugs and says "look, I warned you this is all on you. "

[@B.W.Jackson]

Midas: “Well actually…” Apollo: “Hippity hoppity your ears are all floppity”

[@HappyGoof4]

Wouldn't flippity floppity sound better?

[@SpyrosKoronis]

@@HappyGoof4 But you can't go rhyming "floppity" with itself :/

[@HappyGoof4]

@@SpyrosKoronis True...

[@themandownstairs4765]

Apollo would probably make for an excellent Bard archetype in D&D. He literally hit Midas with such a sick roast it turned into a magical attack.

[@slimnagirac3393]

Bard eh? Magical Musician: check Jack of all trades: check Hits on everything that moves, and some things that don’t: … check

[@dreelfantasy8842]

He basically used vicious mockery.

[@benjaminklaassen4722]

@@slimnagirac3393 It's official: Apollo is the god of bards. Nobody bother changin' my mind; that's the truth and I'm stickin' to it.

[@Ohlak]

Maybe thats the reason the Bard archetype is what it is... 2000 thousand years of playing telephone just turned a God into a punchline

[@mattzuma77]

@@Ohlak Yeah I'd always thought the bard was pretty clearly based on Apollo - obviously there are almost certainly other bard-y gods and figures, but I read Percy Jackson so its *clearly* the Greek versions

[@ArchArturo]

I feel Midas; sure, Apollo is classically trained but Pan had *soul*.

[@sticks4632]

I mean, some tellings of the myth have apollos playing causing all the woodland creatures to come and listen so I'd say he has more soul

[@ArchArturo]

@@sticks4632 Harrumph, harrumph I say! Parlor tricks and propaganda from the Apollo-stans

[@sticks4632]

@@ArchArturo you're just mad he has dinsey princess powers and you don't

[@masodemic4509]

Pan can play notes really quickly

[@ArchArturo]

@@sticks4632 I am not jealous (said in a jealous tone) !.

[@moonwatcher4047]

*“Now Dionysus may be the god of wine and drunken madness, but he knows a bad idea when he hears one.”* This is hilarious.

[@joemerl1145]

His method: "Would I do this?"

[@PeanutXIX]

Honestly, considering Apollo's track record, Midas ended up pretty well, Apollo must have had a rather pleasant day

[@fai-pe7oq]

Even funnier that he said it as a joke that accidentally became reality lol

[@lyinar]

Well, he did just get to wow all but one of an audience with his music, and hear some that was *almost as good* in the process of winning that competition. That's definitely the kind of thing that would put the God of Music in a good mood.

[@phoebusapollo8365]

@@fai-pe7oq I mean he is a god, so accidental reality warping sounds par for the course

[@Kemot300]

Considering how the Olympian Gods normally react to humans, even those unintentionally making them mad, I say Midas was punished rather lightly

[@pokeyscorpion8224]

Probably because Apollo isn’t as petty as some other Olympians (Aphrodite), he’s more just arrogant and competitive

[@wilburn5881]

@@pokeyscorpion8224 Have you heard of Marsyas?

[@MatsuoTanuki]

@@pokeyscorpion8224 My theory here is Apollo and his "uncle" made a pact beforehand to mess with this foolish mortal and hex him no matter which victor Midas chose

[@pokeyscorpion8224]

@@wilburn5881 I never said Apollo wasn’t petty, just that he’s not as petty as some other Olympians. He’s absolutely narcissistic and competitive, but he usually doesn’t antagonize people unless they challenge or insult him directly. Many other Olympians will antagonize and harass people just out of boredom and/or spite, namely Aphrodite, Ares, Hera, and occasionally Zeus

[@pokeyscorpion8224]

@@wilburn5881 Apollo does pull similarly petty stuff as the others, he just usually doesn’t do it unprovoked

[@mayoandbananasandwich6527]

“Oops, I just touched my garden and it turned to gold, guess I’ll just hug my daughter as consolation” *daughter turns to gold* “Oh no, who could’ve possibly seen this coming”

[@carlosroo5460]

Apparently Nathaniel Hawthorne

[@vintheguy]

@@carlosroo5460 apparently d-d------------- Deex nuts ;)

[@Silver_light77]

By Dionysus, this can't be happening

[@Peteman]

Maybe she glomphed him. It's hard to not touch someone when they're charging at you.

[@NathanTAK]

@@Peteman That's the version I've heard, yeah. With the added twist that when he goes back on his wish all the gold turns back (so she's no worse for wear)-but it also turns his *previous* gold into normal stuff.

[@guncannon109]

I love how Midas wasn't even looking for the gods in these stories, they just showed up in the middle of his down time. XD

[@danilooliveira6580]

yeah something great about mythos like that is people would just be walking around in the woods and stumble on gods on a musical duel

[@Olimar92]

And it only ended badly because of his own actions.

[@afasdfasafd314]

two things i like about this: 1- the gods are not absolute assholes but rather rational folks that just have a lot of power 2- midas is not a jerk or evil, he is just a dumbass

[@dabs4270]

idk, turning someone's ears into donkey ears because they said your music is bad seems like something a jerk would do

[@Alphapkmn]

Rational. ZEUS. Rational.

[@deathrayman8074]

@@dabs4270 Eh, probably shouldn't risk insulting gods, I feel; they're gods for a reason. Besides, I feel that, being gods and all, they have a higher ego about themselves and so take insults less graciously.

[@fai-pe7oq]

@@dabs4270 eh it seems like he said that just to joke about Midas but there was unintended power in his words. And it seems to be the case that gods can’t take back what they’ve done or given.

[@fai-pe7oq]

I’ll also add that if Apollo actually wanted to cause harm to Midas he could’ve just killed him or done worse. I mean he flayed Marsyas when the guy lost to Apollo in a music competition

[@TeganThrussell]

Fun fact: When I was a kid reading this story, it was wildly incorrect. First, it ended with the whole turning daughter to gold thing, but it also had no connection to Dionysus. It just replaced him with a random unnamed witch, so I went my whole childhood not knowing that this is a Greek story. I feel so lied to...

[@owenlewis4693]

i mean if it was an adaptation made for kids i dont think having a god of drunken madness as a character would be a good idea

[@derimperator3847]

@@owenlewis4693 You do have a point, but looking at other stories frequently told to children (looking at Andersens, amongst others), the god of drunken madness at times actually might run a lesser risk of traumatizing anyone

[@rydergolde3169]

@@derimperator3847 pretty sure even *Mycenaean* Dionysius (who leaned more into the "madness" & had some kinda Underworld connection) would be very tame compared to the *original* version of a *lot* of Fairy Tales Brothers Grimm made some gnarly and VERY gory stories, and somehow Disney made them 100% child friendly

[@sheenpailovesu7841]

​@@owenlewis4693But I think the original story has like, an actual message? "Treat strangers well! Who knows, maybe one of these days one of them might be a god in disguise!" And "...Treat strangers well, one of them might be a god in disguise!" Rather than... Is there even a message to the kid book version? Midas just turns his daughter to gold?

[@musfirah9341]

​​@@sheenpailovesu7841 i used to read midas touch when i was younger, i think my translation removed mention of Dionysus as i dont recall his name,replaced with some fairy tales being/English mythical being. Anyhow for the lesson of the story, i think its about "dont be greedy,be grateful with what you have" as it shows how Midas wanting so much gold leads to him unable to eat and turning his daughter into gold. On this version he just beg the wish giver to reverse the spell and they did it after seeing his desperation (there no mention of the river either in my retelling). And then the daughter freed from the curse,as Midas learnt his lessons that gold arent comparable to his daughter (or sort like that)

[@SpaceMonkey15]

Apollo: "Heh, your music taste is ASS." Midas: *gains donkey ears*

[@SpyrosKoronis]

I mean, with a wording like that, he's lucky he wasn't cursed so that everything he eats tastes like ass.

[@k9commander]

He's lucky he only got the ears and wasn't turned fully into a donkey.

[@terrancenightingale1749]

@@SpyrosKoronis 😂😂

[@chungdha]

The end is interesting as there is a chinese saying about finding a tree hole to confess your secrets to feel better.

[@nerdywolverine8640]

everyone knows tiny voids are the best places for secrets

[@eshbena]

@@nerdywolverine8640 Until the void looks back at you! XD

[@Conartist666]

@@eshbena Untill the void starts purring and demands pets and cuddles. ...then its a great place for secrets again.

[@kayeervin3771]

I honestly love theses replies!! 🥰😆

[@joemerl1145]

*Wind whistling through the trees:* _I'm totally banging Cheng's wife._ *Cheng:* 😠

[@OGrupxe]

Dionysus: You are either lying, or you are stupid! Midas, on the brink of tears: I'm stupid, i'm stupid!

[@jongmikim602]

Dionysus: *sighs* yes, so I’ve come to realize, and I need more wine to down your stupidity

[@Maswartz226]

This is bad comedy

[@aaaa-1796]

hah! nice transformers reference

[@LordDeathwing17]

@@Maswartz226 Megatron? Is that you?

[@AdamArBast99]

Primus I love this thread!

[@thedukeofchutney468]

The saddest part of this is that Midas is arguably one of the most moral characters in Greek Mythology.

[@thehandsomeone8369]

You are absolutely right.

[@memelover6917]

Yeah, he's just really dumb sometimes

[@Lemonade.1971]

Fr

[@concept5631]

100%

[@shawnconway6009]

I love that Dionysus is equal parts a bro and also terrifying depending on how you treat his friends. Midas wishes for something dumb? Normally gods would be like 'sorry, sucks to be you!' but Dionysus is like 'alright I'll fix it.' If you're Pentheus or Lycurgus though, Dionysus turns into Jigsaw and is like 'would you like to play a game?'

[@starmaker75]

Midas: I wanted to turn anything I tounch turn into gold Dionysus: I’m the God of madness and drunkenness and even I think that is a really dumb idea for a wish

[@pokeyscorpion8224]

It’s another level of dumb idea when a perpetually inebriated psychopath says it’s a dumb idea 😂

[@ianr.navahuber2195]

@@pokeyscorpion8224 Dionysus is a psychopath? wht does inebriated means?

[@clayxros576]

@@pokeyscorpion8224 Inebriated sure, but he's no psychopath. Anyone that cares about his followers and then, when he sees a bad idea, tries to curtail it despite his promise, is a goodperson. .

[@jon9828]

@@ianr.navahuber2195 Just googled "inebriated meaning" Inebriated means drunk or intoxicated.

[@pokeyscorpion8224]

@@ianr.navahuber2195 He’s drunk and insane

[@Eramiserasmus]

Midas is just an idiot and I love that. He literally didn't think it through.

[@addisonmartin3200]

The original himbo king

[@glo_bin]

King Midas wasn't sad he couldn't eat or drink, he was sad about the fact that he singlehandedly made the value of gold plummet down to worthlessness

[@themandownstairs4765]

Midas somehow invented the principle of inflation

[@deathbower]

No, he could turn anything to gold with either hand ;)

[@calvinliu6215]

or "double-handedly"

[@vintheguy]

King Midas's touch and it's consequences have been a disaster for the economy

[@vassily-labroslabrakos2263]

I think a stomach wanting to be filled outweighs the consequences or thoughts for the economy.

[@shade6001]

"We need more plants like this." Me: *looks at the cactus in my house* "Don't you dare say anything." The cactus: "I'm an insomniac"

[@selenopheria]

Apollo: "Ha, then your music taste sucks ass!" Midas: "WAIT WAIT WAIT-"

[@ChasehaWing]

I like how these versions are just gentle lessons. Everyone else ends in death or golden daughter, or some horrible punishment, but Midas just had to take a bath and wear a hat and he was good. Just silly punishments.

[@hailghidorah2536]

Fun fact: If Midas had the Golden touch and the ancient Greeks knew about chemical reactions, anything the king touched would explode with the force of half a ton of TNT.

[@hailghidorah2536]

@@liam3284 good point

[@DeathnoteBB]

@@hailghidorah2536 Wait why

[@hailghidorah2536]

@@DeathnoteBB the lighter atoms in the duck's body (hydrogen, oxygen, carbon, etc) would become far more massive, and also far too dense. The gold atoms are too close together, so they repel each other violently. In an explosion that results in a dead Midas.

[@vothiminhphuong3130]

@@hailghidorah2536 Ah, an educated man of Kurzgesagt, I see.

[@SharklordZerato]

"Well well well, if it isn't the consequences of my own actions" -Midas probably

[@CellSpex]

Odd, I remember the wishbone episode on Midas saying his follower was definitely “not drunk”

[@RoronoaZoro-ur6hr]

Greek Mythology has no definitive copyright on what story is and isn’t truthful whenever it comes to their stories because they’d tell their epic fantasies by word of mouth alone.

[@christopherb501]

@@RoronoaZoro-ur6hr Indeed. Who's to say Midas wasn't actually a talking dog married to a human? [/s]

[@gothicavictoria1341]

I think they had to say that because it was a kid's show, although that also make it a weird thing to censor as I vaguely remember an episode about Romeo and Juliet

[@mousermind]

@Will N *In fact

[@mousermind]

Wishbone was fucking awesome.

[@ShiraCheshire]

The way myths mutate over time is really interesting. As a kid I had a short little book that was basically the story of king midas, but it was the chocolate touch instead of the gold touch. Because a kid learning to read is obviously going to value chocolate over gold. It also includes a variation of the "turned his daughter to gold" bit- The main character accidentally turns his mom to chocolate shortly before getting the chocolate touch reversed and having everything turn back into what it was. He didn't get it reversed by bathing in a river that would then become chocolate milk though, which is a serious missed opportunity imo.

[@graceskalniak4835]

Are you talking about Chocolatina?

[@JulyBaby]

Ooh! I had that book too!

[@crystalyue5701]

I remember that one! At first, he only turned a bit of things into chocolate when they passed his mouth, and he couldn't eat or drink or anything without tasting chocolate. I'm pretty sure it also happened because he found a coin-think with his initial on it.

[@IDontReallyWantAYoutubeHandle]

Oh my god I remember that book!! It's pretty much one of my earliest memories before the age of 5 still being a toddler at daycare. They had this book and I think it stuck with me because to get me to go to sleep my parents would tell me to imagine things like unicorns, pink princesses, and a world made entirely out of chocolate

[@gothnerd887]

I read that too!

[@noahroangoldwing]

In Celtic lore, there’s a king born with horse’s ears. He wasn’t cursed with them. Mythological parallels

[@CuriousInsanity413]

I was thinking of home the moment the ears were shown at the start! I never knew the Midas ears tale, but grew up with Labraid Loingsech!

[@Penguinmanereikel]

God of War reboot writers: “WRITE THAT DOWN! WRITE THAG DOWN!”

[@aine965]

In the Irish version, the king's barber whispered the secret to a tree, which was cut down and made into a harp. The harp was played at a feast in the king's court, and instead of playing music, it said "king labhraidh has horse's ears".

[@Geheimnis-c2e]

@@aine965 Was it in D or B minor?

[@noahroangoldwing]

@@CuriousInsanity413 yay! Someone knows what I’m talking about!

[@AMoniqueOcampo]

And ironically, there's a car repair brand that says "Trust the Midas touch!"

[@timothymclean]

I'm sure golden cars run _very_ well. Gold is well-known for being very a strong metal for its weight. ...no, wait, that's aluminum.

[@CapnShades]

Hey, it may have been a curse, but did it ever fail to do what was asked?

[@Muffinmurdurer]

Oh I do trust it, I just don't trust it to do anything good.

[@nicodalusong149]

Bad touch?

[@carlosroo5460]

Speaking of bad advertised decisions.

[@joannasthings]

Midas really went full Diogenes, watched the gods have a lyric battle, and still got fucked over in the end.

[@anonymousfellow8879]

Version errybody knows: tragic irony OG: wacky hijinks …I gotta admit. Not sure which version I like better.

[@serban031]

Wacky hijinks definitely. There's enough stuff that is legit terrifying and tragic. Sometimes, we just want to giggle

[@PrismCasillica]

If Dionysus says 'Are you sure?' You know you better re-think some life choices.

[@leotamer5]

We need a modern retelling of the Midas stories where the consequences of these two stories are swapped, and when he is pressed why he asked for donkey's ears, he can only reply that he had been drinking and partying for 10 days.

[@justanotherchannelonyoutub126]

Sounds to me like Midas was “Pan”dering, he should “Apollo”gize

[@8unnylover]

MARVELOUS

[@Exsam]

Goddamnit. Take my like and go!

[@BeratLjumani]

*Holds open the Door* Yah… why don’t you see yourself out.

[@HopefullRomantic]

Thank you for this ^_^

[@DragonKnight90001]

........that was a terrible pun ( i was going to say pan but was unsure if that would have worked?)

[@AlysidaMagica]

I can’t believe Midas’ barber invented the phrase “bury the truth”. And gave us a great metaphor about how burying the truth doesn’t work

[@keithcarson7638]

Midas is the epitome of "I calculated the risk, but man I'm bad at math"

[@cmsully1]

I'd like this comment, but it's at a Nice number rn. Later, maybe.

[@yusheitslv100]

@@cmsully1 it's at 369 so same.

[@devo1246]

I think what I love most about Midas is, as you said, he's honestly a pretty good guy in terms of Greek Kings Greedy and shortsighted? Sure, but otherwise he's kind of just a cool dude who didn't do anything wrong beside maybe be a little bad at thinking

[@kevingluys3063]

I'd even say he wasn't necessarily "greedy" because he wanted gold in a way that wouldn't (from his shortsighted view, so excluding inflation) hurt anyone. He didn't ask for the ability to steal gold, or hoard the gold, or demand Pan give him his precious god treasures, he thought up a way to just make gold so that everyone could have lots of gold.

[@greenredblue]

If we had more plants like that, the gardeners at estates and country clubs would be paid shockingly well.

[@ZaZi-Zeta01]

Hyeah, and I'm sure half of their pay would then go directly to their therapists

[@soulcakeplatypus6522]

"known for being very dumb" "it will be 100% his fault" Red, I know what my life is like, tell me about King Midas

[@nicolebee3283]

This story is golden

[@Carcosan]

👏

[@ThePLAYER1888]

I wish I could dislike this... However it's a good pun...

[@thesilentone6678]

24 carat

[@ethancheung2696]

If it had Oedipus Rex in it, it would be motherfucking gold

[@scarletbard6511]

"Nono, friend. *You're* gold." The last words you ever hear.

[@uria3679]

Who hopes Red talks about how Zeus and a Spartan Queen are responsible for the creation Justice?

[@Boss_Isaac]

Are you by chance referring to Zeus's lying with Leda, wife of Sparta's King Tyndareos?

[@AxxLAfriku]

I am the cool kid from Germany making videos for the USA and the rest of the world. I will make your day so don't say nay to me today, dear gwen

[@Zephyrus0]

Nemesis is/n't Zeus' child, depending on your version. I personally go with the Nyx one because that seems more reasonable to me. BTW, prayer to Nemesis is one the greatest folk songs.

[@CoralCopperHead]

@@AxxLAfriku *_BAD BOT. BAD. GO AWAY._*

[@uria3679]

@@Boss_Isaac yes

[@bluehen9533]

Anyone gonna mention how wholesome it is that Dionysus not only remembers and cares for all of his followers but also cares for them enough to search and reward the people who looked after them

[@ScalestheMaenad]

it is really wholesome

[@whatgsaid]

Me: “Tell me everything about Apollo without telling me everything about Apollo.” Red: “Now Apollo is never one to pass up an opportunity for some petty conflict, so-“

[@srishtirani9907]

*please read it*: in the myth of marsyas the earliest literary sources say that midas was chosen to be the judge between God of music and marsyas (5BC : timeline of the story) & then there's ovid work (1BC-1AD) (1BC

[@nuralibolataev4474]

The part where he turns his daughter to gold is actually a really good addition to the story. It ads real tragedy to the story and humanises Midas as he values her more than all the gold one could want.

[@DrawciaGleam02]

Yeah, I remember reading that story and it made me sad.

[@arturoaguilar6002]

Meh... not sure a real tragedy was warranted when starving to death is already dark enough.

[@ainzooalgown1364]

It’s actually one of those rare instances where the modern rendition is lighter than the original myth

[@SerialElfYT]

@@ainzooalgown1364 Um except it's the opposite? The daughter being statued is the newer version

[@calebrobbins6406]

Yes, folks, that's right: Midas turning his daughter into gold is NOT canon

[@MrSupernaturalLife]

That was the most shocking part of this video. Second being that Apollo unintentionally gave him donkey ears instead of doing it out of spite. (most versions I read about Apollo makes him out to be a spiteful and talented jock)

[@k.t.4613]

@Will N Also because Lore Olympus. No offense to the comic but you gotta admit it deals some nasty hit in Apollo's reputation all for drama that's fictional.

[@DeathnoteBB]

I mean, it’s canon now. Just not OG canon

[@edisonlima4647]

Nathaniel Howthorne probably mixed up his notes on Midas and Job.

[@nathanielmartins5930]

'Tis Mythology Madam, all is canon and all is not, No more No less, so is the path of Myths.

[@maple22moose44]

i never knew that the whole gold daughter thing was a recent creation, plus the living in the woods is pretty cool, i never knew it

[@marisolramirez9591]

I honestly really like the daughter version and I was surprised it wasn't the original version

[@d.b.4671]

I like the Muppet Show version where Midas turns himself to gold. (Kermit plays Midas, so you can probably imagine how this comes about.)

[@bondfall0072]

@@marisolramirez9591 Nathaniel Hawthorne was the same dude who wrote The Scarlet Letter, so it doesn't surprise me he made the most popular version of the myth. It does surprise me that it was him who wrote it though.

[@rangoon207]

its cute how our drunk god never forgets even one of his members

[@OmegaX9]

In Midas' defense, Apollo was performing a cover of "Never Gonna Give You Up" so...

[@selahaarif8648]

More like Pan

[@bryguy1502]

I’m actually impressed Pan was chill with being declared the loser. Usually in these kinda stories the offending god freaks out and curses whoever didn’t favor them.

[@despinasgarden.4100]

In one of the versions he was actually sad about losing, but yeah, i'm surprised that he didn't lashed out at the judge.

[@carolinemcgovern4488]

Pan probably expected to lose to be honest, but good on him for being chill though.

[@rickykirk1]

the worst part about watching a new miscellaneous myths is knowing how long ill have to wait for the next one

[@ccvcharger]

Too true.

[@abthedragon4921]

*Red mentions the process of how Lydia used the river Pactolus to make some of the first coins in history* Huh, the more you know

[@Janoha17]

Combining a cautionary tale with a "Just So" story.

[@abthedragon4921]

@@Janoha17 And I am here for it!

[@pyxyne]

in French, "pactole" is a common noun more or less meaning "a bunch of money", and now i know why! thanks Red!

[@firemarioproductions2003]

Dionysus may be drunk 24/7, but he’s sober enough to know a bad idea.

[@QueenBoadicea]

I remember seeing this in the Broadway play "Metamorphoses". There, Midas is a greedy businessman as well as neglectful father. When one of his servants saves Dionysus's lover from drowning, the happy god promises Midas a boon. When he requests the golden touch, the god makes a face and says, "That's a reeeeeeeeeeally bad idea."

[@trashbug4843]

I never knew that version was written by Nathanial Hawthorne, figures, as he likes to make things super dramatic

[@mollywantshugs5944]

All he had to do for the wish to be fine would specify “every metal” or “every rock” the key to safe wishes is to be extremely specific

[@ThomasstevenSlater]

Salt is a rock so he's still going to die horribly, it will just take longer.

[@rotciv557]

Or just specify that he has absolute control over when the power activates instead of always being on.

[@pippasanderson9153]

Everything I touch I can choose to turn to gold.

[@grapeshot]

I remember when Disney made their version of this in one of their many Silly Symphony cartoons. King Midas ended up giving up his whole entire Kingdom for a hamburger with onions. Just to have the Golden Touch removed.

[@misterbadguy7325]

Fun fact: Walt Disney made that cartoon himself, because he hadn't taken an active role in a cartoon's development for years at that point and wanted to prove he wasn't rusty. It ended up being a total bomb, to the point that Walt banned mention of it from the studio.

[@arturoaguilar6002]

@@misterbadguy7325 Next time, skip the onions.

[@laurenhawes7201]

2:36 Midas' reaction is how I imagine every commoner in Greece reacted to the new God shennanigans

[@yourhorseyepona7309]

Lol, first off, "Satyr's advocate", I love it. Second off, I never heard of King Midas growing donkey ears. He just traded one curse for another.

[@Squirreled_Studio]

Everyone: Are you _really_ going to disagree with the gods? The King: Midas Well

[@BlackCover95]

Also, Arachne.

[@valentinabulgaru8847]

Apollogize for this terrible pan

[@eyjay1508]

I don't get the pun.

[@GarryDKing]

The muppet version of this myth is probably my favorite adaptation of Midas' touch, cause Kermit turns himself into a gold statue by accident by putting his hands on his head. it's also hilarious seeing Miss piggy drag the golden frog across the typical muppet dance floor gag

[@timothymclean]

It's had to see what moral "Be careful what you wish for" stories are supposed to have. "If you get what you want, things will go badly for you anyways, so just be happy with what you already have?"

[@allanolley4874]

I mean usually it is that you need to carefully think through the consequences of your goals. As when Midas fails to consider that if everything he touches turns to gold that would include food etc.

[@vintheguy]

Now that's some bullshit

[@Haaalp]

Yeah, in this case the main takeaway I get from this is just a plain simple "Don't be fucking stupid, bro".

[@dandelion2284]

That probably wasn't a moral story at all, but an explanation for why there was gold in the river.

[@renatocorvaro6924]

Midas must have touched OSP 'cause this channel is pure gold.

[@yasminthespiritsinger7704]

AYYYYYYY

[@colostomybag9201]

This one is a powerhouse, the situational humor is really on point and even though it's short in comparison to other episodes of miscellaneous myths it just works. This is for sure, a case where less really is more.

[@B_A-tr]

"Yeah, i can turn things to gold. Daughter honey, come here, we should celebrate" Edit: -appearently, some guy in the 18th century Also, couldnt he just wish that he could control that ability

[@whiteraven562]

The version I heard, she ran up to hug Midas before he could finish explaining "Hey, no, don't touch me, it's dangerous"

[@einnutzloserphilosoph]

*cough* 19th century *cough, cough* back to the dark corner of my room ...

[@Asathegoopy]

He probably could wish that, but I guess that wouldn’t make him dumb enough for a cautionary tale protagonist

[@BennyLlama39]

Yeah, you have to phrase things *really* carefully in these wish scenarios. I'd read a myth that someone asked for immortality, but it blew up in his face because he didn't say, "And I don't want to age as the years pass." 🙂

[@BlackCover95]

@@BennyLlama39 That’s Tithonus. 🦗 And I think it was his lover who wished for that.

[@BeratLjumani]

I prefer the version where Midas picks Pan as a winner just so his friend whose already pretty sad everyone else voted for Apollo doesn’t feel like total crap. It’s a harmless symbolic gesture that shows Midas has Pans back no matter what and Apollo curses him with donkey ears for it.

[@theonlyosh4088]

I like this version too, as it coincides well with the idea that Midas was a really cool dude to Dionysus’s father and only got screwed over by a bad wish

[@sticks4632]

There a version where midas is the judge who chooses pan not for being better but for being his friend, which apollo then curses him with donkey ears for being a bias judge. Which I think the the best version as it has an actually useful moral in it.

[@vintheguy]

What version is that?

[@despinasgarden.4100]

I also grow up with that version, i always tough it was an AH move from Apollo since he already winned.

[@Darkaos_5]

Yeah midas might be a tad dumb, but he knows how to be a total bro with his satyr buddy

[@cheezemonkeyeater]

I remember reading a version of this where Midas, after getting his ass ears revealed, executed his barber in a rage and then hung himself because he couldn't handle all the embarrassment. I do not know where this comes from, but it sounds very Greek. I've also read another version where Midas was asked to be a judge for the contest between Pan and Apollo and when the vote came to a tie, Apollo turned his lyre upside-down and played just as beautifully and when Pan couldn't do the same (because that's now how woodwind instruments work) Midas declared Apollo's challenge unfair, which prompted Apollo to punish Midas because Apollo is a dick. Again, not sure where that one comes from originally, but it also sounds like it could be original because Apollo was a dick.

[@andrewollmann304]

In the version I read, it wasn’t Pan, but the satyr, Marsyas, who challenged Apollo. Also, it wasn’t a panpipe, it was a double flute that, unbeknownst to the satyr, was cursed by Athena. Also, Apollo had Marsyas flayed after the contest was over.

[@vintheguy]

What versions are these?

[@despinasgarden.4100]

@@andrewollmann304 i always tough the two tales were really similar, i mean, it could be a coincidence that Apollo literally had two diferent musical battles with 2 satyr-like beings. The diference thends to be that Pan was friends with Midas and that Marsyas gets killed by Apollo at the end. But i always tough that meybe people confused Marsyas with Pan since the two are satyrs.

[@cakeboss4194]

Considering Greek myths varied wildly between various cities, not to mention the constant reinventions over the centuries, IE that american author adding the curse turning Midas' kid into a statue, it could be of any source.

[@krankarvolund7771]

It sounds more XIXth century reinterpretation for me, with a whole lot of drama in addition for no reason ^^ Well, I've found only two original versions, one from Ovide, and one from Hyginus, and both were latin authors. In Ovide, it's pretty much what Red summarized, there's a contest of music between Apollo and Pan, Apollo win according to everyone, but Midas says that Pan played better, and get ass ears. Then his barber learned about it, and caused plants to whisper the secret when there's wind. But in Hyginus version (from what I understood, I didn't find any traduction, so it's from a latin text XD), the contest is between Apollo and Marsyas. The strange thing is there's no real consequences, there's the contest, Mids said the satyr win, Apollo is angry and says that Midas have ass ears. And then next paragraph Midas is rescuing Silenus and it's the myth about his gold touch XD

[@Maliciovo]

"Noooo, you can't just turn things to gold-" Midas: *HEHE, INSANE GOLD TOUCH GO BLING BLING*

[@GhostBear3067]

(Touches food) Midas: "I may have made a mistake..."

[@Whosaskin]

The frame at 1:03 is simply perfect.

[@marymccann3500]

"OH NO! CONSEQUENCES FOR MY ACTIONS!"

[@MagicalMedic]

Wishes gone awry are what I live for in D&D. Not even when I'm DMing: as a player I love trying to make airtight wishes when I learn the spell. 😁

[@z2yn]

Wasn't there a DnD tiktok where someone wishes for the midas touch and the says he'll wear gloves whenever he eats or touches something like his daughter or himself, so that it doesn't turn to gold

[@blockEdragon]

@@z2yn Wouldn't the gloves turn and just trap his hands?

[@eclipserepeater2466]

@@z2yn Would have to make an articulated gauntlet since if you slipped your hand into a leather glove and then it turned into gold, that shit would be rigid. Certainly accomplishable though, assuming the power works on physical contact and not an aura or something. It would also kinda suck to never be able to touch anything soft again. Oh and if the effect is over your whole body rather than just the hands then you'd still starve / die of dehydration since everything you put in your mouth gets turned to gold before you can swallow it. Or gets turned into jagged water-shaped gold inside of your throat, eep.

[@ANDELE3025]

@@eclipserepeater2466 A proper lawy- i mean vampire would argue that touch would be limited to hands only rather than teeth, as the action of interacting with something with your teeth is taking a bite out of something while the general act of two objects surfaces intersecting is contact. However it might then mean that midas' touch works on being emotionally touching, thus giving midas' the ability to turn people the feel a emotional connection to something he does or said into gold thus straight up being a jojo stand user.

[@templarw20]

I'm of two minds on the Wish spell. I figure if (as a player and GM), if the wish is just a duplication of some other spell or relatively limited (3.X's spell description, essentially), I just figure let it go and happen. BUT, if the player and GM want to get... creative, the player can do the short statement wish (no pages long thing... single breath at the most), then the GM can exploit any intended or unintended loopholes. Bit of a social contract, there, and I (as a GM) would treat it like a trait from Fate, where you want both good and bad stuff from it. Don't exploit loopholes to destroy the fun, and all.

[@skybrawler2266]

Midas : lemme just lay down here in the sand, what’s the worst that could happen * r e a l i s a t i o n *

[@irmuusanaa4227]

2:20 aahh som relaxation. Then a music duel between two gods.

[@maxzapsgamingzepzeap2337]

I'll be real, Midas's story has honestly always been one of my favorites for whatever particular reason

[@zeemczed]

I mean tbf Midas might have just been a hipster. "I mean classical divine tuneage is fine but Pan was rocking some deep cuts there. You probably didn't recognize them."

[@rami_ungar_writer]

The but about Midas's daughter was a later invention by Nathaniel Hawthorne? Color me surprised. I'm going to have to look further into that. Also, can't wait for the Halloween episode next week! 🎃

[@vitralights]

Same, I'm so excited!

[@despinasgarden.4100]

"my music is better than Apollo's"is one of the things you should never said in the greek myths, alongside with "i'm prettier than Aphrodite!" And "if Athena wants me to shup up so badly, she should come here and make me!". Also, i always tough is curious that this myths is so similar to the myth of Marsyas, is almost the same myth with the diference that Pan doesn't die and that Midas doesn't have any involvedment in Marsyas myth. Other than that is the same myth with Apollo having a battle with a satyr-like being who thinks he is better at music than him. I wonder if the original myth is the one with Marsyas and people over time changed it to Pan since it was more interesting that way.

[@albertamalachi3560]

I'm getting the feeling the whole flaying of Marsyas was about Pan and Apollo dynamics as meaning that even with the old rustic lifestyle and 'simpler' life into a more cosmopolitan one, humans will 'wear' the skin of who they are anyway. There's no escaping base needs no matter how civilized one thinks they are.

[@moonwatcher4047]

3:46. YES! GLITTER & GOLD FOR THE END CREDITS! I AM IN HEAVEN! 💯

[@thatrandomguy_yt8443]

The idea that dubstep comes from Pan’s pan flute is something I truly love

[@SudoBurger]

3:34 Liar liar, These plants spit fire

[@avatarthelegendary6755]

Barns Courtney's song at the end! Red is a cultured internet being

[@quartzintherough]

Fun fact: the emblematic hat that the French revolutionnaries wore are based on Midas' hat, it's called the Phrygian bonnet. Add to that that the French expression "toucher le pactole" (meaning "win a large amount of money", literally "touch the Pactolis"), and this might be the most French Greek myth, which is a dubious honor at best and a fucking disgrace at worst

[@djordjejaric3214]

3:07 In Serbia we also have this story but instead of king Midas it is emperor Trojan (Trajan) and instead of Dionyssus giving him donkey ears he gets goat ears because he is cruel and greedy. And also there are a couple of stories where Trojan is depicted as a three headed demon who lives in Trojanov Grad on mount Cer and steals girls during the night so he can eat them.

[@CoralCopperHead]

Passed out drunk, gets taken in by local authorities, first statement to the king is "you got anything to drink?" Silenus is my spirit animal.

[@Phantom-qr1ug]

I mean, let's be fair to Midas here, getting a boon from Dionysus is quite the *Golden* opportunity...

[@toastbot9496]

damn, dont you hate it when the sidewalk plant you whispered to just tells the world your deepest secret everytime the wind blows it slightly.

[@timothymclean]

Just cut the reeds, geez.

[@Healermain15]

@@timothymclean But then how will I angst mournfully about my dark secrets being uncovered?

[@CJCroen1393]

I was worried for Pan when Apollo challenged him to a musical duel. The last time Apollo got into a musical duel with a satyr it...didn't turn out so well for the satyr in question... RIP Marsyas.

[@CuriousInsanity413]

Pan's all g because he's also a god of sorts!

[@EllpaFox47]

2:38 I read “drama queen” and suddenly really want to see Apollo done up in drag

[@SpecialEDy]

Can you do King Mithridates? He's my favorite historical person, if I ever have a son, his name will be Mithridates

[@cuegert9895]

They did. Blue covered it

[@nemonomen3340]

While _I think_ that’s cool, your son would probably hate you for it.

[@Geheimnis-c2e]

I have a few questions: 1. How could you? 2. What if you get a daughter?

[@andiward7068]

Unique, interesting, historical and (in)famous names are better for pets than people. You still get to use it without saddling it to your kid.

[@Yuni-is-Schrodingers-Fox]

I feel very bad for your hypothetical son then.