My Wife Intentionally Hid Her Side Hustle From Me FOR YEARS r/Relationships

[@Early666]

Secret bank account or not, she needs to explain why she's taking their child out at 4am.

[@SnowyWolborg]

And then completely ignoring him for a couple of days? That's not normal. She's up to something nefarious.

[@manxiefeathermoon9888]

Breastfeeding duh

[@groofromtheup5719]

without her phone. That was a move to be intentionally deceptive.

[@shadowkissed2370]

@@groofromtheup5719 yeah so the phone can fall out of her pocket into the garden she is trying to dig up...

[@groofromtheup5719]

@@shadowkissed2370 save for that's not all she did.

[@melaniewharton8762]

Is no one gonna mention how messed up it was when OP said that sometimes the husband doesn’t take “no” for an answer in the poly situation? Aren’t you suppose to give a couple days notice before kicking someone out after living with them for a certain amount of time? What they did to OP sounds so illegal and abusive.

[@groofromtheup5719]

more than a couple of days almost certainly. sounds like it was a seriously screwed up relationship. I hope she gets her head on straight after that.

[@kp2223]

Definitely illegal and 100% unethical as OP's employer.

[@earcher]

Yes it was illegal, but I personally wouldn't want to fight that battle. I'd already feel awkward and uncomfortable as it was, to then push the living arrangement through legal technicalities? F that.

[@groofromtheup5719]

@@earcher might be worth pushing that they cover moving expenses

[@Mario-SunshineGalaxy64]

I don’t know if anyone feels the same way, but I’m miffed that the wife excepted OP to apologize for being rightfully suspicious of her behavior. Maybe I didn’t hear it, but where was _her_ apology for everything she did? Creeping out early in the morning with their child, refusing to explain herself, giving OP the silent treatment and then only stopping after OP practically groveled and kissed her ass. Like, I get what she was trying to do, but to get so mad that she got caught doing something shady that she ignored OP for days was childish and inconsiderate.

[@IAmNotASuccubus]

"I did something really suspicious. Why are you expressing doubt? Now I'm angry that you're acting like any rational human being so you need to apologize to me, otherwise I'll give you the cold shoulder!"

[@c.d.4319]

I agree with you and don't accept her explanation. The amount of people that were like, "This is a totally normal response and acceptable, even satisfying, outcome, is insane!

[@n.a.nameless5435]

I'm still convinced her side job is as a prostitute, not gardening. Only thing she and a gardener have in common: a ho'

[@jestersreign7530]

I am so glad I wasn't the only one who caught that bs

[@shadowkissed2370]

She didn't want an apology for him being suspicious she wanted an apology for the way he came at her when he asked the questions. Instead of being curious and asking nicely, he started to aggressively interrogate her. I would shut down as well until I received an apology.

[@dallen3000]

Are you fucking kidding me? She didn't talk to him for days because she didn't like his tone for a very legitimate and concerning question? And what was up with that power play her just waking up, seeing you seeing her, giving you the baby and leaving without a word? Watch be damned, her attitude about this was nowhere near acceptable.

[@mirror2760]

Exactly! She was the one being sketchy af and seemingly being unsafe with their child. Id be angry of OP wasnt massively concerned with her behavior

[@ericwilliams1659]

I was wondering how many are honest about this "secret account" during the divorce hearing. I can understand an emergency fund, one can never predict the future. But how long does she keep it a secret?

[@july_paradox3094]

​@ericwilliams1659 i understand the that women can face those things, but the implications are what is hurting

[@GeorgiaDLee]

OP 1's wife isn't in the clear with me. She was unnecessarily suspicious and had a bad attitude when rightfully questioned, then gave her husband the silent treatment for several days. And not to mention took their child out at 4 AM with no phone? Oh hell no. Even if it was for work and saving for a dumb gift.

[@tgbedini]

Yes, it's such a strange thing to do, and if the reason is so innocent, she should have told him before, so he would have no reason to be concerned. "honey, I have a bit of work helping people set up gardens, so I'll be going out early." No need to go into financial details, or to explain it's for the gift, nothing. Just give a valid reason for what is otherwise extremely odd behavior. And responding with the silent treatment, which is a total BS action anyway, only makes it worse. And, as always, we can look at it if genders were switched. How about if HE was running out at 4 am, and got pissy if asked for an explanation. Reddit would pile on like the Green Bay defensive line.

[@ptaradactletime11]

@@tgbedini the thing is it wouldn’t be the same situation if the genders were swapped. Men aren’t socialized from birth to fear the opposite gender and it’s not as necessary. Men can be abused obviously but women who are abused are on average more likely to face violence or be killed in relationships. I have a secret account and I bet a lot more women in your life than you’d think do too. It’s terrifying to trust a man with all of your security. So yeah even though in this situation it was a gift and not an emergency escape route it doesn’t change the fact that it’s perfectly reasonable for a woman to keep a few months savings secret in case your husband tries to kill you, especially if you’re a sahm

[@debl3063]

She still seems suspect for sure. She didn't talk to him for a few days for asking reasonable questions? She didn't like his tone? Sounds like she was up to something and tried to turn things on OP so he would shut up about it. It gave her s few days to think up the watch story. Having some extra money in her own account is fine. Snapping at OP for questioning her when she was taking off with the baby at 4:00 isn't ok. You do something suspicious, your going to be treated like you're up to something.

[@SnowyWolborg]

Story #1: NTA. When you act suspicious, don't get surprised when someone questions you. Innocent people don't act so defensive. Coming home at 4 in the morning after leaving at 7, and having the 2 year old and giving OP, the father, no notice along with leaving her phone so he can't know what's up? Yeah, you can't run away from that discussion.

[@jennilynne1977]

It was the other way around, she left at 4am and came back at 7am. Other than that, your point is valid. It is very strange for someone to put their baby in a stroller and go somewhere at 4am and be gone for 3 hours, leaving her phone behind as well. What if something happened while she was out? It appears that she would have NO way to call for help.

[@cyreneB]

@@jennilynne1977 true

[@martinrusev3502]

S1: I call bullshit on that. She took off with the kid at 4am and she tells him she doesn't have to explain where she was? Like hell you don't have, luv.

[@SnowyWolborg]

Way too many people in the comments were making it about the bank account, when really, that's probably the secondary issue. I'm more curious why she's leaving her phone at home, and taking the two year old until 4 in the morning. Her money maybe her business, but his child is _his_ business.

[@FluffballKitties]

Who gardens at 4 am? He saw her go into the neighbors house through the front door when there is no fence between the yards. Her attitude when confronted says a lot.

[@anniebale4343]

Yeah, no, I'm not buying story 1 at all. OP's wife got super pissy and essentially ghosted her husband for several days. And why the hell was SHE not apologizing to HIM? She basically steals their child, gives him no way to contact her by purposely leaving her phone at home, and is upset that he got rightfully mad over it. Like, how dare he catch her doing something suspicious and then get upset when she doesn't answer??? And regardless of if her story is true (though I have a ton of doubts), she's got a LOT of fucking nerve to act so smug about it all. OP had no way of knowing where she was. Where their fucking kid was. And yet he's the one who's supposed to remain calm and collected and monitor their "tone"? Yeah, I think absolutely the fuck not. She was out of line and knows it. She just also knows her husband will grovel and back down if she stonewalls him enough.

[@jimdob6528]

Story 1 NTA. That wife acted very suspicious and absolutely DOES NOT get have an attitude when she’s the one being a shady jerk. If the op did this then I bet that lady would have blown up on him and accused him of cheating. The freaking NERVE of that woman demanding an apology for his “ToNe”.

[@fallingawayfromthenorm]

Story 2 - I’m non-monogamous, and immediately I was seeing red flags. If he’s really controlling as a partner, that’s already a problem in monogamous relationships and just as unhealthy in non-monogamous relationships. And the fact he lied about always using a condom when solo with OP is extremely fucked up, and claiming that OP slept around when she was away from the home. They built this “relationship” with OP where she had nothing outside of this household really, aside her mom, and then just drop her like trash. Not to mention it sounds like they’re using OP as their unicorn, for those unfamiliar with the term, it’s a single woman that an existing couple seeks out (primarily for sexual reasons). I hope they never try this again with another woman. These people are amongst the ones that give polyamorous relationships the bad rap.

[@groofromtheup5719]

they had no consequences from their bad actions apart from a scare of paying for another kid. They will absolutely try to do this again. The wife will obviously never say "no" to her husband's demands.

[@kp2223]

@@groofromtheup5719 right, the wife is only a few years older than OP and on her fourth baby. I think most of this is the husband's fantasies playing out.

[@tommyhaukedalhansson2797]

The couple needed someone to sleep with when the wife are pregnant, now they both ar pregnant, they need a new unpregnant sitter, to sleep with. Get Dna test and get childsupport

[@wordforger]

Yeah... It vaguely reminds me of the Colleen Stan case. I mean, obviously they didn't kidnap her and such, but it's that same sort of dynamic, with the husband running the show, timid wife going along with what he says, and a young woman who's being used for sex and childcare.

[@MmmKayHuuNay]

*Also, don't fuck your bosses...maybe?* LOL OP2 was an irresponsible idiot for starting that whole thing. It was completely unrealistic and unforeseeable...come on duh. She is a BANGMAID, and agreed to be!

[@GeorgiaDLee]

If OP 2 was living with the couple and they didn't give her 30 days notice before kicking her out she can sue them in small claims court for illegal eviction.

[@billybobjenkins3031]

Yeah definitely but some states have different laws like you aren't a tenant if you don't pay any sort of rent and stuff like that

[@videofan1010]

Oblivious OP#2 "People on Reddit are just being "extra""

[@fufufuaru]

OP2, if OP's only issue about going back to her mom is she's scared of disappointing her, I hope OP gets the courage to put her fears aside and go back to her mother. I can understand her not wanting to disappoint her again, not wanting to add to her problems, feeling that she'd never be proud of OP, etc. But there's a big chance OP's mom would be happy and relieved that at the very least, OP is out of a toxic relationship, and would help OP the best she could.

[@tegantalks9612]

Depends on how the mom is. I know something like this ever happened to my daughter I would welcome her back with open arms and my husband and I would work hard to help get her self-esteem back up. However, not all parents are supportive or believe in things like mental health support and treatment. I hope her mom is supportive of her though.

[@D-me-dream-smp]

The only issue is I worry if the mother/family environment played a part in why the poor OP has such low self esteem and feels so hopeless and worthless which no doubt played a part in why she got involved with that horrible couple.

[@piiinkDeluxe]

@@D-me-dream-smp do you think she terminated the pregnancy for them? because that's the feeling I get.

[@nowetherider]

I don't agree with the outcome since in the end she did lie she decided to punish op because she didn't like his question and made it seem like he didn't have the right to know where his daughter is and op didn't even ask after she blew him of because of fear. Hopefully they have a fair marriage councilor who can help them both with communication issues they both have

[@ivy456]

Story 1. I feel sorry for OP he seems a bit naive. In no way did the wife's explanation answer her odd behaviour to OP. And to then make OP apologize for his tone, when he was perfectly in his right to ask questions. Everyone in comment section were too focussed on her secret account but not her taking the baby at crazy hours without OP knowing where they were going. OP should've gotten that paternity test when she offered.

[@muhname6052]

Poly and preggers: excuse me? He is hard to say no to? Also he's denying that he didn't use condoms and that you cheated? Also you should be equal partners not a live in sexdoll. If you want this baby leave them and get a paternity test and child support.

[@beckydavid359]

Amen, go on Paternity Court and get that money for the baby. It's not the OPs fault that the couple already have so many children, if anything it should prove to the wife her hubby hates to wrap it.

[@wordforger]

Even if you don't want the baby, leave them regardless. It's a clearly unequal relationship.

[@squintish]

My best friend's brother was nicknamed 'Digger', and he's not the only person I've heard of with this name. But seriously, OP's fears about potential cave ins and gases are not unfounded. He should at minimum get alarms for the gases and maybe get some specific education about tunneling, because the risk of sudden collapse is real.

[@cjandauntieyaya1446]

Story 2: OP and perhaps the wife are being taken advantage of by the 32 year old husband. She's only 2 years older than OP but already has 3 kids and one on the way. It appears the 35 year old husband is into manipulation newly adult women into becoming his sexy housemaids. OP is being treated like an indentured servant and is being forced into an abortion that she doesn't want. Probably because the Husband doesn't want it found out that he actually DID father the baby and was having relations with OP behind his wife's back WITHOUT A CONDOM. OP needs to leave this toxic relationship and become her own independent woman. I'm thinking she's been financially abused as well. Probably isn't being paid for her 24/7 nanny job and has no money to move out on her own. I hope she goes back to her mother because she needs out of this horrible situation.

[@cjandauntieyaya1446]

Story 1: OP is NTA because his wife is taking his child out of the house at 4AM IN THE MORNING. She also was shady and lied. This is scary. She could be doing illegal things and bringing her child with her. Now IF what she is doing is legal BUT she's not declaring the money and thus will eventually be zonked by the IRS unless OP and his wife do not do joint tax reporting. Plus, it appears OP is putting his whole paycheck into the family budget, yet she is holding back HER money as if she's entitled not to share. This is horribly wrong. If you share one person's income, then you share BOTH people's income. For sure, the one with the higher income has a higher % weight when it comes to paying the bills as that is only fair. But to hide the money from her partner, OP's wife is showing that she's either trying to get enough to leave him, or is simply taking advantage of him.

[@owl7072]

One person pointed out that it's possible she was raised to have a secret emergency fund just in case but idk, considering her other actions I doubt that's the case. Like, if she's just gardening for neighbors and whatnot then why did she feel a need to hide it from Op? Why leave so early in the morning and not come back until around the time he wakes up? If you can't trust your own spouse enough to tell them what you're doing, that marriage will crumble eventually.

[@shadowkissed2370]

@@owl7072 he did say she was doing to it buy him the very expensive watch he has always wanted as a surprise gift. He might possibly want to know exactly what is going on in her life and why she is saving money so it would be hard for her to buy him a surprise gift because he would want to know exactly why she is going out to get more money when they are doing perfectly fine without her doing this, type of situation.

[@claudeyaz]

@@shadowkissed2370 that was 1000% a cover rofl

[@shadowkissed2370]

@@claudeyaz says you? I personally would have to hide money to be able to buy my husband a surprise gift because our finances are very intertwined out of personal preference, and I know others who are in the same situation. Unless you are the woman in the story, there is no way you know her reasons at all...

[@srkh8966]

There was an update

[@zeroflight6867]

Digging story, the comment about being a Zen garden thing is pretty accurate. But getting your hands into earth and grounding out is satisfying. It's also quiet down there, which is comforting to some and excruciating to others. You don't know how loud the world is until you go somewhere where the sound goes away. Camping in the middle of nowhere is a start, after a fresh snowfall in the middle of nowhere is better, but underground is incredible.

[@groofromtheup5719]

s1; that is super suspicious and just plain foolish. A woman with a small child out at 4am!!!!! Without a phone even!!! She is placing herself and what may be OP's child at risk. She might also be visiting the real father of the child. OP needs to satiate his sense of security and do a paternity test on both of her children and hide a tracker on the stroller at the very least. I like the hire a PI idea, but he'd need access to her secret account to afford one. The watch thing could be the truth or a cover story. It would not end there if I were him.

[@immortalsofar5314]

I was in a triad and, frankly, it's bloody hard work when done correctly. The power dynamic in this one seems really toxic.

[@kp2223]

The sex nanny had her blinders on hard. OP even admits she can't say no to him, yet argued with everyone in the comments about how they don't understand. No, we understand, you can't see you're being used.

[@SiFireHasSpeed]

I’m still skeptical of the first story. Not talking to your spouse for literal DAYS because they called you out on fishy behavior?? Nah man that’s emotionally manipulation at the low end

[@Mario-SunshineGalaxy64]

Don’t forget that _she_ wanted an apology from OP.

[@joekerr971]

Yeah, I agree I can smell the bullshit from here

[@SnowyWolborg]

@@Mario-SunshineGalaxy64 I don't like how he basically had to buy his way into a conversation with her with a cheesecake and Fanta. What's that even about?

[@groofromtheup5719]

plenty of time to come up with a cover story and clarify her future with AP as well.

[@amypest1976]

Story 3: Balrog comment FTW!! But seriously, your man will be great as a Doomsday Prepper and bunker building. 😂😂

[@sherylmassie9502]

The one commentor who said that their mom will always love them unconditionally hasn’t met a lot of moms

[@owl7072]

Story 1: She took their kid and left at 4am without her phone and didn't come back until 7. "I don't have to tell you about my whereabouts" uuhh, yes you do because you took your child with you and Op has every right to know about where his kids are going, _especially_ if you're not taking your phone with you because if something happens and you don't have your phone then _you're done for_ and Op won't know until it's too late. Edit: It still doesn't explain why she left her phone and refused to speak with you for _days._ If it was for a surprise gift then at that point I think your marriage should come before any surprise and you should just go ahead and confess because even the nicest gift doesn't excuse you causing your s/o anxiety over what you're doing and where you're going.

[@josephtucker7181]

If kids were not involved I would leave like wow she was upset by his tone lmao GTFO

[@omnipossum92]

Story 3: I used to love digging tunnels in the sand pit and I wouldn't mind doing something like that if I wasn't worried about the whole thing falling on me lol

[@justaperson4656]

take inspiration from old mines. Wooden/metal beams to help hold it up, and make sure not to dig too deep. You'd also want ventilation though, since underground gasses can be toxic

[@omnipossum92]

@@justaperson4656 Maybe if I buy land one day. There's definitely cheap land out there, even in my state.

[@AmericanRambler0101]

Does the tunnel lead to a bar? ;P

[@omnipossum92]

@@AmericanRambler0101 Yep! With a pool table.

[@tvdsje]

You should be worried about that. Last month a guy died in exactly such a situation: beams caved in as he was buried alive

[@JSainte17]

Let me pause before the comments... where tf is she bringing a child, young enough to be in a stroller, at 4 in the f*ckig morning?

[@locstyle]

Story #2 ladies anytime a man won't wear condoms and says he will pull out. Trust and believe that his pull out game is weak AF!

[@piiinkDeluxe]

never agree, really unsafe!

[@groofromtheup5719]

s2; the abortion will harm OPs future fertility. If she is afraid of having fertility issues, an abortion will not make it better. If the wife actually believed her husband, she would not push for the abortion. They both know it was his child.

[@staylor3483]

Story 3: OP please call your local government office building dept. You are quite right to worry about the tunnel collapsing on your SO. His work should be checked by an engineer ASAP. Yes, he will be pissed but at least he will be alive!

[@mirror2760]

LMAO apologize for your tone after you catch me being sneaky af. OP is a very nice person cuz I would never apologize for smth like that let alone get my spouse gifts after they so messed up my trust. Seriously Story 1 was a rollercoaster that I would never want to ride. Not to mention the OP should be concerned at the fact his wife is taking their child somewhere at 4AM and she left her phone which is sketchy. Even if she is doing what she claims she should have her phone on her in case of emergencies.

[@dancingkitty11]

Last story, gas masks will do nothing in a tunnel. Most toxic gases found underground, displace oxygen from the air. OP get your husband some kind of SCBA system. Could be an air hose or a tank. Plus you got to work on some sort of system to know where he is in case of a cave in, they do happen, frequently. Maybe an hourly check in or something?

[@samanthasmiles9112]

Story about the polygamous relationship - Girl, get yourself some therapy. "I have never felt this loved". Meanwhile they are forcing her to get an abortion, denying her baby, denying that he wore a condom, pressured her to have s*x without a condom and calling her a liar. Girl, this isn't love. This is abuse. And the fact that you think this is love means you need some help. You deserve better than this. The guy is denying the baby yet pressuring her to have an abortion. Right. "I find it hard to say NO to him." Real love means you have no issues being who you are. This is so wrong. All of it is just wrong. OP, you are only an idiot if you stay. These are horrible people.

[@francissobotka8725]

That wife is doing something and leaving at 4 am ? Coming back 3 hours later....

[@amandasunshine2]

So uh.. story 3 does not feel resolved. He may not be a meth addict, but he's definitely a tunnel addict. He's avoiding something, it really does not seem like it's *just* a relaxing hobby. My reasoning: he was agitated when he was hanging with OP because he felt the compulsion to go out and dig. That's how addicts get when they can't have their drug of choice, and the longer they don't, the worse it, and they, get. She let him go to his addiction before he could be anything more than uncomfortable. But if she had ignored his obvious longing, he may have gotten aggressive. Not saying he'd hurt her, but yell at her, I could definitely see that. This story is not over and I really wish both of them luck ❤️

[@wheelsndealz]

Story 3. Have yall never dug a hole before? Seriously, try it. There's a sense of accomplishment/doing something. It can provide isolation and a sense of his space.

[@tvdsje]

S3: In my country there was a guy that died last month in exactly this situation. The beams he out caved in and the guy was buried alive. I wouldn't want my SO to risk dying like that either

[@tamsel814]

You also Dutch or did this happen twice?

[@tvdsje]

@@tamsel814 you got me

[@lauracottom7425]

Story 1: Bull. It sounds like a lot of money. Also what’s up with taking 1 of the 2 children with her. Verify child 2 is yours. You are spending all of your money on her and the family but she has her own.

[@foxbuns]

story 2... op needs to run. the situation isnt safe for op.

[@darknessmage7459]

Story 2, yes op definitely did it to herself.

[@cyreneB]

why do so many "adults" that are even parents throw temper tantrums and behave childish like not talking to their partner for days?

[@BigTArmada]

Story 1 still sus af, you can definitely tell your husband about gardening for your neighbors without cluing in about the secret gift. She had time to come up with an excuse, shit is still weird.

[@Annalorraine67]

My brother was always digging holes he’s a geologist now

[@groofromtheup5719]

s3; nothing wrong with the digging, It obviously helps his emotional state (isn't that the goal of therapy?), but the safety issue is a real issue. It wouldn't take much of a collapse to kill a solo tunneller. The gas thing is likely not a significant issue.

[@AlexLococo]

HOLY SHIT, THE TUNNEL-DIGGING STORY, LMAOOO OP's boyfriend is based af. She's just jealous she can't be as cool as him.

[@TheBusyHoneyBee]

Story01. If my husband went out at 4 am he would be greeted with who died!

[@beastshawnee]

secret bank account is not a problem. Never communicating about career paths is.

[@Old_Toby]

Story 1. She strait up lied to you face. She's not in the marriage 100%.

[@imbuffysummers]

The tunnel reminds me of the episode of Lizzie McGuire where the dad and Matt find a cave in the backyard and turn it into their man cave lol

[@justaperson4656]

fellow moleman, I also want an anthill like ops bf. Little underground bunker, pine or oak flooring, and ceiling lamps. idk, just the vibe of an enclosed area completely under my control, that I can expand cheaply and efficiently, completely customisable from the lights to the material of the floor is just soothing. I actually dug a hole so big on a slope (planning to expand my garden, I wanted other flowers in an area that was *mine* ) as a kid that my dad knocked down the fence, added a gate, and turned a section of it into a driveway because of the angle. My current garden is sadly built on a shallow concrete foundation (found out because mum wanted climbers on the 6ft fence), so no more digging for me :/ on the plus side, it means I'm not being forced to plant my trees in the garden, and I can take them with me if I move again

[@groofromtheup5719]

really really thinking about a hidden bunker in the new place when I move here shortly. Maybe just burry a big chunk of corrugated culvert, sloped slightly away from the main house and access it through somewhere in the basement. I've also hear *NEVER USED* septic tanks make good underground bunkers.

[@Ann_Wall-Chiasson]

Story 3: OK I gotta do it---- Everybody sing it with me! I AM A DWARF AND I'M DIGGING A HOLE!!!!

[@rmhartman]

Oh, and get a paternity test then sue for child support.

[@johnpauljones9310]

Anyone realize that by not disclosing this income to her husband, it likely didn't make it on to their tax returns which means they committed tax fraud?

[@terrex28]

Story 1: My mother had to keep a secret balance in the account because my father was in the habit of spending all the money (gambling) and then checks would bounce when my mother would try to pay bills/mortgage. Ugh.

[@Tijggie82]

Kinda similar to my mom. Not gambling, just a lot of stuff.

[@claudeyaz]

Yeh and that is reasonable .but seems if OP is truthful...he puts his whole check in the family..and she is being sus as hell

[@stacia8057]

"Hes always really happy when he comes back from digging" 🥺

[@guntgunderson2829]

The story about the Poly relationship: why isn’t that man vasectomized yet? If he got it done after their 4th pregnancy, he could have enjoyed the 3 way relationship without condoms, this never would have happened. I got it done and i love it. Reproduction is now in my control and no one else’s. This man was irresponsible, and should really get it done

[@stampandscrap7494]

Id be concerned about taking the baby out? Huge huge red flag

[@Lin.1703]

That secret bank account woman if she’s with someone she needs a secret account she should leave him like wtf is wrong with this woman

[@Lin.1703]

That woman was making a dumb ass excuse for what is obviously shady behaviours

[@smiley.puppie]

I actually used to love digging holes in my backyard when I was younger, I’d go out into the yard with a shovel and just go to town diggin

[@shammydammy2610]

Ah, no. Tell him if he's actually trying to deny paternity, that a NIPP can be done very early on and his wife will have her answer. You don't need one. He doesn't need one. She's the one he's trying to lie to. If you want to keep the baby, then do so. Then get ready to see them in court.

[@groofromtheup5719]

She killed the baby, then they dumped her. Abortions does impact fertility to some degree or another. Given her fears, she probably should have moved home, had the kid and then sued for child support. that might also keep the couple from messing up another young girl in the future as well.

[@Emyoco1983]

The comments alone for the last story were entertaining. But I totally understand the whole ADHD aspect of this. Repetitive things are very soothing to us that are restless. I sometimes watch the same movie over and over again for days because its soothing for me.

[@ACCER]

My husband and I both have the ability to track the others phone. Neither of us has ever given this a second thought as far as to control each other....it's just so we can make sure the other is safe and, if there is a car emergency, have a great idea of where to start looking!

[@lesleykruijt8580]

The person from the 2nd story, I feel so much for her. I wish people would see the tragedy, I know the helpless feeling all too well. the fact you should have known better doesn't help you in the moment...

[@eponymoususer8923]

Story 1: the husband seems problematic. He violated an integral safety rule: always condoms, and then LIED about it and brought the OPs character and commitment into question instead of taking responsibility. He’s “hard to say no to.” That’s a bad setup. The wife is probably snowed and dependent, happy in her toxic stew. I hope the wife and kids can find a healthier environment.

[@sciguy98]

Moleman story: I wonder if it's a type of OCD? The only thing that makes me doubt that it's a compulsion is that most people with OCD are aware that their compulsions are harmful and a problem.

[@justaperson4656]

I have ocd, and I never realise what I'm doing is a problem or even compulsive unless someone points it out. One of my compulsions is centered around entrances/exits, and making sure everything is locked. I have unrelated sleep problems, but if I'm up, I check the doors, so they get checked 3-5 times a night, and I didn't realise that until my mum and my sister piinted out that it woke them up. I do have some compulsions that actively harm me (over sanitising my hands, for instance) but I only recognise those as harmful because its me they're harming

[@groofromtheup5719]

he gets jittery when away from his hole too long. OCD would fit that I think.

[@moebiuseight7977]

I know ive seen this before however Brothers of the mine rejoice! Swing, swing, swing with me Raise your pick and raise your voice! Sing, sing, sing with me Down and down into the deep Who knows what we'll find beneath? Diamonds, rubies, gold and more Hidden in the mountain store Born underground, suckled from a teat of stone Raised in the dark, the safety of our mountain home Skin made of iron, steel in our bones To dig and dig makes us free Come on brothers sing with me! I am a dwarf and I'm digging a hole Diggy, diggy hole, diggy, diggy hole I am a dwarf and I'm digging a hole Diggy, diggy hole, digging a hole The sunlight will not reach this low Deep, deep in the mine Never seen the blue moon glow Dwarves won't fly so high Fill a glass and down some mead! Stuff your bellies at the feast! Stumble home and fall asleep Dreaming in our mountain keep Born underground, grown inside a rocky womb The earth is our cradle; the mountain shall become our tomb Face us on the battlefield; you will meet your doom We do not fear what lies beneath We can never dig too deep I am a dwarf and I'm digging a hole Diggy, diggy hole, diggy, diggy hole I am a dwarf and I'm digging a hole Diggy, diggy hole, digging a hole I am a dwarf and I'm digging a hole Diggy, diggy hole, diggy, diggy hole I am a dwarf and I'm digging a hole Diggy, diggy hole, digging a hole Born underground, suckled from a teat of stone Raised in the dark, the safety of our mountain home Skin made of iron, steel in our bones To dig and dig makes us free Come on brothers sing with me! I am a dwarf and I'm digging a hole Diggy, diggy hole, diggy, diggy hole I am a dwarf and I'm digging a hole Diggy, diggy hole, digging a hole I am a dwarf and I'm digging a hole Diggy, diggy hole, diggy, diggy hole I am a dwarf and I'm digging a hole Diggy, diggy hole, digging a hole... Source: Musixmatch

[@WobblesandBean]

I'm not happy at the end to story 3. He couldn't even make it three days spending time with his girlfriend.

[@vampire9545]

If divorce my wife for a secret bank account. It DOES speak how she feels about him, if it's a abusive fund that's disgusting. It's like planning on a divorce with a prenup/postnup. It's instant distrust/mistrust. Also no one deserves an expensive watch - also who doesn't te their SO about what their doing e.g oh hey our neighbors bob and Jenny are allowing me to set up a garden in their yard. Lulz at prego unicorn. Don't abort, assuming op wants it

[@angeleyesgreen1586]

She needs to explain

[@wolfwhistlewoowoo6297]

Yep, this is divorce material. You are funding your entire family: you, your wife, and your two children. Meanwhile your wife is hiding money in her own account and is lying about a few things. Honesty and cooperation are paramount to a healthy marriage. Also you need to open your own separate bank account as well and set aside money as well. And let her know that this whole situation is not acceptable.

[@taylorslade961]

Lmao bruh, Story 3 is a side quest in the Dragonborn DLC of Skyrim 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@claytonpeterson468]

Sooooo. She takes her baby, goes to neighbors house, front door, disappeared for 3 hours, but is really gardening. In the dark. With a baby. You need a DNA paternity test, somethings not right. The whole gift watch thing still doesn't explain it.

[@Scientision]

S3: Seymour Cray who developed the words first supercomputers liked to tunnel, it was one of the things he would do when he was stuck on a problem.

[@radiantgoldensun6438]

I don’t believe this woman’s story in Story 1……..Nope. Why did she leave her phone if she is just gardening-nah buddy!

[@bloonh8tr619]

Thanks for the upload Markee. Also, I wanted to ask, what happened to the intros? Did you stop doing them to get to the video faster?

[@alexanderhenby1362]

Story one, secret bank account and sneaking out with the baby out at 4am. Story two, Unicorn hunters who forced a young woman to get an abortion. Story three, Disney channel original movie

[@ytl9558]

So glad story 1 ended well

[@crispinlocke9868]

Tunnel guy gives major serial killer vibes

[@emotional.support.goblin]

I take slight exception to you saying OP didn't have to take her feelings into account. When you are in a relationship, you ALWAYS have to take your partners feelings into account.

[@jamiehorne1173]

Jassa know if it's another personal account know your husband or wife does not have a right to it. There's a lot of petty people in this world if he doesn't trust her he doesn't trust her they should have be in a relationship she has every right to keep an emergency account I'm certainly not going to put my money in the same time as my husband because guess what marriages don't last anymore. You living in an old fashioned world where everybody should give up their privacy no that's not the case in fact a few Souls too much privacy special with your friends work or other people's personal information you violate their privacy and they have every right sue you. Been in a relationship are married does not take away the privacy loss and yes the judge will have you a beam do you know it's illegal for you to go snooping and hacked into your spouses emails computers phones with the password protection that you don't have permission to yes that evidence gets thrown out and your butt goes into jail. And I will tell any guy violate my privacy and your butt going shell because if you don't trust me then we shouldn't be in a relationship

[@omnipossum92]

I agree, but it goes both ways. She needs to understand how her secrecy could look to OP and consider his feelings too, especially when it involves their child.

[@tvdsje]

AND he did it in front of the kids. I don't like that either. Either ask very subtly and none accusitarily (what is that English word again) or ask her accusing questions all you like but NOT in front of the kids. Ridiculous that it has to be said

[@groofromtheup5719]

@@tvdsje its ridiculous to think anyone can pull that crap and not immediately come clean with the full story when asked! Then to act indignant and give the silent treatment for days about the way he asked! The guy is a fool for not getting the paternity testing done. She very well could have suggested it to look innocent. She had days to come up with a good cover story, and possibly see if she has a real future with the baby's real father. She might even come up with fake paternity test results now that she has had some time to further obfuscate things. Her actions rightfully broke his trust. I would not be nearly so quick to forgive and forget or to buy her stories.

[@tvdsje]

@@groofromtheup5719 can you read??? Where did I ever mention anything about the woman in my comment? In other words you have no idea about my opinion on her, which is not exactly favourable, you dipshit. Also the story is so easily verifiable that it's dumb to still suggest a paternity test unless you suggest that for anytime a woman leaves the house without her man 🤦‍♀️

[@melvinyoung3474]

Community property means 50/50 in no fault divorces.

[@pagee7452]

Leaving you and she's stopping up money so she can have an affair or she is in a fair

[@wordforger]

Yikes, Story 2 sounds like an abusive situation. Husband is 'bossy' and hard to say no to? She's become reliant on them for living space/income? Husband purposefully doesn't use condoms, knocks her up, and then gaslights her and his wife about it? And is now pressuring her to get an abortion? Yikes. Get out of there is all I can say. I mean, I'm sure there's some happy polyamorous relationships, but this one just does not seem to be healthy to me. This sounds like a couple (or even just a man) taking advantage of a young woman. Hell, if not for the fact she seems to have agreed to the relationship, and the lack of physical abuse, it reeks of the same kind of dynamic in the Colleen Stan case.

[@GrassJelly101]

The background is so pretty and calming! 🥰 loving it!

[@OuchingTigerLimpingDragon]

Came to the comments to say the exact same thing!

[@GrassJelly101]

@@OuchingTigerLimpingDragon so aesthetic!! 🌌 Love the name btw 😂

[@rodlepine233]

it is not the hidden account it is what she is doing to make the money that goes into the account

[@peterasbjrnhansen2834]

NTA leave her

[@sablemoreno5095]

I'm sorry but for story 1 she's still wrong and how did everyone just ignore it/not address it? "Waiting for him to apologize for his tone"? Like WTF how old are you? No. You talk to them and at that time after everything is explained and all you say 'I didn't want to talk because of your tone when asking. It made me feel xyz'. He literally had no way of knowing what the hell she was mad at (being questioned, caught in a lie, the secret account being discovered, etc) because she refused to talk about it. I have never met a well rounded mature adult who would refuse to speak to someone about the issue because they were waiting for an apology for the tone a thing was asked or stated without EXPLICITLY stating that was the reason. It wasn't just 1 day either before telling him or 'conceding' and discussing the topic. She threw a full blown tantrum silent treatment fit for multiple days (im assuming 3+) instead of addressing the problem because he asked in the wrong "tone". Like I'm sorry, you're taking the kid places without his knowledge, not telling him things, and (for all he know) lying to his face. He has the right to ask in any tone he likes. That gets me so mad because it reminds me of relatives I can't stand- beat for beat this is their MO for any kind of fight or push back on them for bending the truth ("technically not lying" as they like to throw out a lot). They'll get all mad at being questioned, go full silent treatment and expect an apology before deeming it acceptable to discuss the topic any further if at all. I really hope this was a one off for the wife's behavior because I would hate to be in that relationship if that's the norm for her in arguments.

[@samanthacarpenter3336]

I’m sorry, but op in story 2 sounds a bit pathetic. I’m guessing she went through with the abortion for the couple, and not for herself. going by how she responded in the update on how she thought everyone was wrong about their relationship. She needs to take the time to really self reflect, and live for herself, not other people who she can’t recognize as users/abusers. She needs to make some standards on how relationships will be on the future, but first she needs to get some therapy and figure out why she has such low self esteem problems, that she can’t recognize such an obvious toxic relationship. I doubt she even had time for herself in that house taking care of literally everyone else’s needs, but her own.

[@josephtucker7181]

You can't date a couple you're just the side piece

[@OuchingTigerLimpingDragon]

You CAN date a couple, but it looks much different than whatever the hell that "relationship" was.

[@josephtucker7181]

@@OuchingTigerLimpingDragon what I mean is you can't date a couple if you want a 3 person relationship it's equal not they are the couple and I am the 3rd.

[@OuchingTigerLimpingDragon]

@@josephtucker7181 I think I see what you're saying. Not that 3 people can't date one another, but that a "couple" datung a third person is an inherent power imbalance that doesn't work. Did I get that right? I guess this is why they invented the term "throuple", so that everyone in the relationship is on equal footing.

[@josephtucker7181]

@@OuchingTigerLimpingDragon yes that's what I meant

[@anymous8407]

Story one - I don’t believe her

[@damien678]

hopefully his digging isn't because he found a Leitner book 👁️

[@cheriremily9360]

Secret bank account means he cannot know about it. I worry about the child.

[@katrinasamuels-garrison825]

Wow. The second story is a mess. The crap people do...🤦🏽‍♀️

[@miragedown]

I feel like story 3 is Collin Furze's wife. He is the guy digging a path from his pantry to his work studio.

[@crazimuch957]

for that second story, my guy is already manipulating the situation by being dishonest about the condom use. That is very, very bad.

[@madgevanness4011]

Taxes….IRS .

[@nasiraward4316]

op2 is giving Snowden Seeking Sister Wives vibes

[@cherylwolf7817]

My pregnancy thing was. Mars bars wrapped in buttered bread.