Navigating a Lesbian Interracial Relationship (with Rica Charleston)

This week, Mal is joined by her friend of 18 years, Rica Charleston, to discuss growing up in the South, being outed, navigating being gay in the black community, and the challenges of being in an interracial relationship. Rica brings an honest, unfiltered, and hilarious perspective to this conversation, and Mal shares a picture of her high school hairstyle - we are not holding back. You must've been nice this year, cause Santa brought you a great episode!
Follow our guest Rica at @thericacharleston
Please remember to subscribe, rate, review and share this podcast with your best friend from middle school! Follow the show at @madeitoutpodcast and follow Mal at @malglowenke

[@lokie3292]

As a lesbian, finding this podcast has been the highlight of the end of 2023 for me. Thank you for making such amazing content!

[@benita9078]

Feel u

[@sofiairigoyen9888]

just wanted to say how much i love the convos you guys are having on this pod 💗 it feels like a safe space to explore feminism, identity, and the queer experience and i appreciate your value for intersectionality. thank you for elevating our voices and perspectives 😇

[@mariammairis]

I agree! I'm so happy this podcast is a thing

[@debbiebeveridge3237]

When she teared up sharing the story about her conversation with her mom it made me tear up because it brought back my experience with Shannon when she told me she was gay. You need to love your kids no matter what. Love all of your episodes on your podcast.😘

[@Eyeswide39Open]

Omg, I read ‘Shannon’ and was like, hold on, Momma Beveridge is that you??! We love you ☺️

[@downtomarz7835]

Wow so rarely do we see black queer content…. I love it 😭🙏🏾

[@junevertucci3420]

Rica is your funniest guest so far. Her insights were refreshing. Mal was rockin' the fishnet top with the puffy vest (love it). Laughed pretty hard at this episode (while being educated by it of course.) Good one. Thanks.

[@sdavis6456]

Loved this! I am older than you girls, but I grew up in the Catholic Church and grew up in Iowa! 😂 yes, there are black folks in Iowa! I met my person in my 30s and she was white from a small town in Illinois. We always talked about things and never had issues with race, because we didn’t deal with people who had an issue with us. Anyway, together for 25 years before she died from uterine cancer in 2019 😢 she was my best friend! I miss her terribly! Enjoy each other and don’t take what you have for granted! 🫶🏾

[@HighwaytoHobbs]

Thank you for sharing your story, Rica! “What is your Alaskan ass doing in the middle of Louisiana?” 😂 Dead. As a Louisiana girl myself, love that your experience here was awesome!

[@ricacharleston]

OMG thank you for watching, my goal Is just to be relatable ❤

[@nai4515]

It’s crazy how similar me and Rica’s stories are. I’m a lesbian black woman who grew up in a predominantly white community my entire life. I pushed down my queerness for so long because I was already so ostracized for being black and I didn’t want to give people any more reason to put me into a box. I just recently came out to my friends and family and just want to say thank you so much for doing this podcast, it really helps so many people in their journey and provides so much support for people who really need it ❤️

[@ricacharleston]

I am happy that you could relate. So many people are trying to just navigate regular life out here and then when you add queer and black it’s a lot to manage with no guidance

[@1412souki]

I loveeee this episode, not enough POC lesbian representation in general. Love it!

[@chrrislowe9919]

I love this podcast. Such interesting perspectives presented with necessary levity lol. Thank you for bringing a Black woman on. Race and culture often play such significant roles in our queer experiences. I’ve really enjoyed every episode so far (watched them all lol) but as a Black, queer, Caribbean woman who grew up in a religious house hold Rica’s and Zoya’s have definitely been my favorite. ✨

[@siphowarrior9080]

“You gotta learn how to make chickpeas taste like eggs” 😂 The religious trauma in the black community be strong

[@waterbaby3]

Rica needs to do voiceovers!

[@ricacharleston]

Don’t hype me up 😅😂😂 cause I will!

[@GayIRL]

For real her voice is so soothing

[@KayBassie]

@11:06 me BAWLING 😭😭 I love this podcast so much, loving these conversations. "I pay these gay @ss bills" 😂Rica I love waking up with a Made It Out notification😊

[@haydeecastillo4621]

Ditto !!

[@mariammairis]

Same! So good

[@ricacharleston]

Thank you so much ❤❤ I’m happy y’all enjoyed it

[@kellycontreras333]

Stories like the one with her mom made me tear up 😢 we all wanted and want that kind of treatment from the people that is important, is so sweet and captivating seeing the happyness it brought to you and idk but it is transmited to us

[@mybrainismagiccity]

As a brown person, everything Rica said resonated with me - I personally couldn’t be with who doesn’t share my experience (cultural or spiritual) - for me, we have to align

[@Koah1111]

The people that get it. Do get it. Facts. I feel like the irony of my high yellow existence is though I am Black, creole af, people think Im forever in an interracial relationship because of how ethnically ambiguous I am. Really appreciated this talk. Thanks so much for sharing.

[@yudie2]

I loved this episode. This resonated with me so deeply. Also, when Mal cried with Rica, that meant so much to me. Not everyone feels our pain and that was very moving to see. Thank you.

[@ricacharleston]

Having a good bestie is really worth it 😢

[@JennSarracenia]

I have been out of the closet for 20 years. I have 0 internalized homophobia. I thought I was bi, but it was other trauma. I recently came to terms with this (so much to process) and have been diving into lesbian content because I am a lesbian! What a weird thing to figure out at my age after being out for 2 decades. Anyway, this podcast has made me feel so close to this community and has felt so nurturing. This is the right place for me. It is making me so secure in my identity. I really appreciate the format and the guests and the interviewer for giving space while naturally guiding. It’s just all around a great podcast and I want you to know how much it’s helping me, who thought I was done coming out and finding the “right” community!

[@crysb9658]

TY for sharing. I'm so confused and feeling "this and that" so much over the past few weeks. Feels like my sexuality is overhauling rn, and it's comforting to know I don't have to figure it all out rn. I'm literally so confused and trying to label myself and put myself in boxes to see where I fit, to understand myself better....exhausting.

[@ssceneryy]

I haven’t finished the ep but Im also blk and see white woman very attractive, “shouldn’t matter who ur with love has no color or gender” (from my mom💕)🌸✨ Edit: U don’t know how much I relate to this beautiful woman, being christian n gay n trying to accept myself for being both was a challenge. Then the stereotypes on blk ppl but having friends that aren’t those stereotypes is amazing to see. ✨🎀🖤

[@taramercado2908]

Rica is so much fun! Have her on again. I love seeing a long-term friendship like this.

[@megshogie6123]

"Honestly, I didnt even like people, so...." 🙌🏻 this is just everything!! Sounds just like me, then, as well. 😂 Another amazing guest, and convo!

[@janinek5258]

Rica you're so fun to listen to! Thanks for being so personal and so funny❤

[@ricacharleston]

Ahhh, that means so much. Thank you the goal was to be relatable and funny ❤❤

[@chocolateprincess2656]

​@ricacharleston and your voice is so soothing

[@ricacharleston]

@@chocolateprincess2656 THANK YOU! It’s giving flight attendant lol.

[@areliandino3700]

She could literally have her own show she’s so funnnyyy

[@Raddiebaddie]

Love her voice too ❤

[@lilac749]

I’m loving this podcast! Thank you so much Rica for sharing your story Edit: To add- Rica, I appreciate your thoughts so much on being queer AND a Christian. You definitely made me feel less lonely ☺️✝️🌈

[@ricacharleston]

I am so happy that you felt this and that it resonated with you! Please don’t ever feel lonely! There are more people like us. I promise!

[@arilover89ify]

I was outed too. I was at my grandparents house and a friend was going to pick me up to go to my first pride event and my mom said no and I got upset and my brother said out loud to everyone “she’s just upset because she’s gay and wanted to go to pride”. Yeah it was pretty bad, I was 13/14 at the time. It all worked out in the end.

[@Betttty]

Man glad I found this podcast 🤞

[@michelle_9875]

So I’m black and grew up with bunch of white friends and someone has to unpack why all black people like Paramore cause I love them!!😂

[@ricacharleston]

They are musically inclined 😂😂😂😂 mannnn I try to tell people that PARAMORE SLAPS DOG 😂

[@Lamele02]

Mal is an awsome interviewer! Great Convo

[@CandiSR]

Rica is awesome! I loved this episode. Looking forward to the next one.

[@ianhenderson589]

Great as always, Rica has the sexiest voice my husband is swooning for her. Have lovely day.

[@ricacharleston]

Ahhh! HUNTY! Your husband just made my day- I’m going to use this airline voice 😂❤

[@laceyveal8650]

The ways our stories and experiences are sooooo similar! 😭😭😭 Refreshing to know I am not alone.

[@shelbymorrissey975]

This had it all. Laughs, tears, surprises. Great guest! Loved the episode.

[@miznikki2u]

Loving this podcast and SO glad I discovered it! You should reach out to Becca Tilley! Hayley Kiyoko's GF and have her on the podcast! I think that she would make an awesome guest and i'd love to get her perspective on growing up in the deep christian south as well and then coming out years later and also being in the spotlight. And/or her younger sister who is also gay😀💕

[@sulagreen5792]

Interview Becca Tilley’s sister!

[@judithfox2435]

I ran into this podcast accidentally and stayed. I’m nowhere near the ages of the guests, way older, and there are wonderful info and revelations that appeal, I’m guessing, to every age. Finally, the humor. I write and post and it is the high point of my day when I get one of 😂.

[@mariammairis]

Such a good episode! Rica is dope.

[@ricacharleston]

😢😢 thank you!!

[@lxxsely]

favorite episode so far. being from louisiana and hearing it talked about is wild every time lmao. ❤

[@karasays01]

I've watched a few episodes but this is the one that made me subscribe. Bringing your bestfriend from middle school who is black and touching on the intersectionality of sexual orientation and ethnicity and religion. Her discussing her struggles with finidng her black identity is touching for me. This is needed you are doing a great job touching on all spectrums of making it out.

[@rayac578]

i've been obsessed with this podcast for the past two days it's all i've been listening to😭 i've been out for a long time but i never really accepted it myself if that makes sense,, sort of put myself back in the closet after dating a man. idk if im a lesbian or bi but it's so great to have other women speaking about what it may look like to date a woman. thank you for this.

[@lucystanhope1745]

💗💗💗💗 I LOVE YOU GUYS... thank you for this, it means A LOT

[@Ytb_hovie]

She's so lovely

[@skyewells0821]

Thank you again for making these podcasts

[@laurenhills239]

I live for this podcast 😭

[@ZoeyPaigeLunaPhD]

I just discovered this channel today and I’m binging (this is my second video so far) You’re amazing ❤❤❤❤❤

[@TheBloggi]

This was such a greatg episode! Mal I hope you read this, but as a tiny bit of feedback - don't be afraid to ask follow up questions!!! Unlike the other episodes, this one felt too many times like it relied on the script, because sometimes Rica would start going on about something and you'd go back to the "so how is it being gay" question when there was so much opportunity to dive deeper into what she was exploring (like when she was talking about code switching and queerness in the black community). Her experiences around things that are intrinsic to blackness are the GOLD of the episode! It was worth diving deeper into. Perhaps it was you as a white host not being completely sure how to approach the conversation, and that's ok! Maybe I'm the only one who noticed this sort of "uncomfortableness", but still, I like when your episodes are conversations rather than interviews, and I think that's the goal of the show. Anyway, I actually really liked it! Thanks for putting it out, and thanks Rica for coming on the show!

[@sette900]

Love this!

[@isabel116]

Loved this episode, so many layers. @Rica - I noticed so many parallels between your coming out story & the movie 'Love, Simon'. Worth a watch if anyone hasn't seen it already!

[@ricacharleston]

You know what I’m a movie girl and love a good movie with all of the feels! So I definitely will!

[@preciousmartin1974]

Loved this one!!!!

[@JulesLern]

Love this episode so much ♥️♥️♥️

[@dianethompson463]

I love your podcast and how you talk about everything and open doors to those who are older and give us an understanding in the understanding of ourselves. Thank you!

[@elliekath2537]

loved this

[@nailyssestratton7158]

Loved this episode and and the podcast! Please keep it going

[@whatnot6647]

You are doing a great job with this podcast! Keep it going!

[@Mitchells888]

Loved this episode so much ☺️

[@elisa_vega]

This episode was fun. It made me laugh so much 🤣

[@jvaldez6178]

Great Podcast! Listening in a giant warehouse in Six Flags , as early as 7am! You guys make it such a safe space to talk about literally everything! Thanks & keep going, looking forward to the next ones already 😊

[@kkiwi4213]

Mal's laugh cured my depression

[@o.7235]

loved this episode and i love the representation that is on this podcast!!

[@Midasi]

Wow this is one of the greatest and refreshing interviews I've seen in a long time. Thanks Rica for sharing your journey and your perspective please do more interviews together😊😊

[@Sclafani_art_studio]

Love this podcast - great work

[@TheLavenderPodcast]

I’m from Texas I love hearing stories about lesbians from Texas!!

[@hollycaird2591]

This is such a good pod cast. Thank you for this. The Mom response to the coming out was so so touching too. Thanks so much.

[@Shiningstars1011]

Thank you for providing these conversations. Highlighting stories that address the complex experience of being black and queer is so important. I relate to this story on many levels and Rica’s story was very affirming.

[@GarbageIsland101]

I grew up in Keller and I have always felt very connected to your stories but didn’t know fully why. Now I know!! I love your podcast!

[@highbirdlx]

This is gold! The way rica tells stories that are so deep and emotional in such a funny way is just hilarious. I cried, I laughed, you got it all in this! Also loved the light you shed on different problems of society with all those personal stories

[@Freedombook]

I LOVE this podcast 💐

[@mariamwaseem2918]

Thank you thank you Rica I was just waiting for someone saying it!!!

[@ariavolta9567]

This was a lovely conversation, thank you for sharing this with us

[@rayrodovalhoreis2283]

giiirrrl that sounds difficult af, really enjoy this, thankx

[@indiaalmighty]

This was so funny! Rica is hilarious 😂

[@samdaisy4182]

Wow great episode she is so cute and charismatic great guest!

[@-jellyfish]

Beautiful podcast! 😄🙏

[@belovedone8207]

OMG I was laughing… THE. WHOLE. SHOW! LMBO!! Sis hella funny. Love the touching moments too ❤

[@CarterKid-ft8ev]

I can't believe I've only just discovered this podcast! My life has forever changed. ❤

[@ItsJusBee]

Grambling! My Alma Mater 🐯

[@irismelina396]

Thank you so much for bringing Rica. This conversation gave me so much hope💛

[@risapaige7579]

Best pod everrrrrr. Literally look forward to seeing new ones posted ❤

[@valenngerez]

I just wanna drop these ❤❤❤

[@randybutterfield4336]

This was a great ep7

[@sarahbey1304]

wait, where is the sex store passage that I saw from the shorts ? another great episode btw, loved it !

[@brentmerlinhootboodangy8374]

You are such a good listener and ask good questions. Hate an interrupting interviewer and u are not that. #slayqueen

[@kathryndietrich8951]

S/O Keller - I relate so much to you and have been wondering where you’re from when you say you’re from Dallas… crazy that you’re from Keller, KHS… get it girl

[@brebre53878]

The world needs this podcast!! Thank you Rica for sharing. Your story inspired me. As a black woman, I hear 1000%.

[@jordanabrams6315]

Love this beautiful queen

[@robpalmer7469]

Love this and you Rica❤️ - Robbi

[@preciousmartin1974]

loveeee her!!

[@paryaseo9036]

I am straight but i watch all ur videos They are amazing U guys are powerful souls

[@LaurynS.]

That was nice

[@phDST1913]

what she said at 16:08 so funny and true... had a similar experience...had to laugh. people might read that as super negative but its not wholly intended to be. just a way we talk. it's like saying ooh you are going all the way in...

[@ricacharleston]

Thanks Soror!!! Cause you know it’s that okay babyyyy from ya mama.

[@ballershanelle]

We need to psa: own it..just stop letting the thoughts of hurting others or disappointment or fear stop u from being bold about you and your body. Just stop. Say u don't know or u do know and u will know, whenever. The most important thing, I will not have people making decisions for me or pressuring me about who I love or who's in my bedroom. People will buck up and go at you but having a baseline on how to handle the talk .helps u to not be moved. Practice the stance. The questions will come up each time u move through life and people. Because people want to assume that u date men, u have to be confident to just say or show up with your lady . Boom! We allow others to set us in a fright status.

[@ballershanelle]

Vicki was already open to the blk experience because she went to Gambling. She probably wanted to just be a Lezzie with anyone and be happy. Good thing that she's happy

[@meschahayes1003]

She's hilarious!!!!

[@Tay-zh8no]

I went to school in keller too timber creek is the school i went too

[@NguyenTrang-kb1js]

The podcast is similar with a podcast in Vietnam, named Come out: kzbin.info/www/bejne/q2TcnqBsgJWZgJI.

[@Raddiebaddie]

“The ramen hair” hahaha 🍜

[@daniawania]

Hilarious 😂😂

[@eloisejenninger9735]

❤️❤️❤️

[@erinaddison5757]

“It’s diabetes friendly” 💀

[@ricacharleston]

That was the bestttt part 😂😂😂

[@wildestdreams_]

ummm more Rica pls ❤

[@pura1]

Why the fuck is the soooooooo good. ❤❤❤

[@sml2741]

Dating for me was just who I felt a vibe with. Just because I only vibed with women of color was just a happy coincidence 😃