Neil Hilborn - The Future

[@maisiesayers5371]

Slam poetry is always best at 2am

[@casperes0912]

+Maisie Sayers 6am here... It's great!

[@diz.420]

Omg. I'm not alone. 😂👌🏻

[@MrStephanieJChia]

+Maisie Sayers yasss I relate

[@yesenia521]

same 😂

[@erike.rodriguez1031]

very true...

[@JBdreamingbig29]

The last line where he says "I saw the future. and in it I was alive" is so so important to me. I don't know why.

[@rossyalmonte1057]

Same.

[@KittyMattrazz]

I had chills- still do.

[@cholesteroyal]

I painted this quote on my wall

[@peaceloveally]

I’ve been thinking of that sentence weekly since I found this poem years ago. He is a gift

[@deerlyXO]

i put this on my graduation cap (:

[@PoeticallyTwizted]

"I think a lot about killing myself. Not like a point on a map but rather like a glowing exit sign to a show that has never been quite bad enough to make me want to leave." Damn, it's not often that I relate so much to a poem. Almost made me breakdown in tears immediately. I know it seems like such a silly thing to be touched by, but its because I've never been able to word my emotions as perfect as that line. And as a poet, that is one of the most frustrating things that I can experience.

[@coolvihu]

I don't think I fully understand this line. Could someone please explain to me what it means to them?

[@AomoriKryhavek]

vihan jain think of it as suicide is always in the back of the mind, like the option to leave a movie that is not worth watching but you dont get up and leave (commit suicide) because there is just enough reason not to or life has just enough going for it that it keeps your interest , that's what it sounds like to me anyway

[@joaculevisaje8782]

It's not a silly thing to be touched by. It's art.

[@melissacarrillo2360]

Stephen Ybarra There are so many great lines in this poem, every time I listen to it I find a new one. But that one was the first to speak to name and bring me back every time.

[@kikiam7850]

Shallow Youth he has been thinking of killing himself. But life hasn't been THAT bad that he would end it. You see, ending his life would end the misery, but the bad hasn't outweigh the good yet. That's literally the meaning. Well, that's my interpretation any way.

[@toytulz]

Hey man, if you're still thinking about starting that cult, I will proudly become your first follower.

[@4amcuriosity162]

Same

[@biblebagel2960]

Same

[@claireelainemolnar8424]

Same

[@prospectnyc]

same

[@SteviaCookies]

I don't even know why but "The future has been at war, but it's coming home so soon" makes me cry every single time.

[@HeartPainsCandyVeins]

me too

[@HeartPainsCandyVeins]

***** It might mean something different to others but to me it is like when you are suffering for depression you can't see a future because you are battling so hard with the present but then you finally see it, the possibility, that glimmer that says hang on better things are coming your way.

[@blackrosebuttler037]

SteviaCookies ikr? it's so touching and moving, it just gets me every time

[@LaSarenea]

I cried at that point too. Going through divorce you know the future is gonna suck. I know the next year or so is gonna be a lot of pain. However, in 3 years it should be all over. My future is at war, but it's coming home so soon!

[@Breeface16]

SteviaCookies every single time!!

[@twirpo75]

He speaks a language that I thought no one else could speak. For that, I love him.

[@4amcuriosity162]

You said it man🙌

[@Aquanes]

This guy is the definition of genius

[@crafttuber782]

indeed Youngfloswagg

[@Jesiikuh]

Yah this guy is unreal.

[@Aquanes]

no. Einstein has nothing on this guy

[@ella_jam]

YoungFloSwagg Einstein is a different kind of genius. we all have our specialties

[@Aquanes]

it was a joke

[@Sasuga_Skky]

Not many people seem to understand what this poem is about. He's not romanticizing mental illness, he's not saying that suicidal thoughts are a quirky cool trait. He is saying that sadness is a part of who we are. If you don't feel sad at some point in your life then you have missed out on so much, It changes who you are, it's what makes you alive. If you never feel sad, how will you know when you are truly happy? Without sadness the world would be a horrible place. At least this is my interpretation of it...you have to look past the words, don't just take them for face value. Then you can understand, find your own meaning,

[@allykelley7373]

I absolutely adore this comment just thought I'd let you know even though a complete stranger's opinion is irrelevant

[@Sasuga_Skky]

Ally Kelley Thank you so much (:

[@shilohclinton4180]

Beautifully put.

[@ashleyedwards4821]

Well said!

[@yvonneheuberger8740]

agreed

[@mackenziefernandes]

He's carries the voice of many people suffering with mental illnesses that can never find the words to explain how they feel. I'm grateful that I have been exposed to his poetry, it makes a huge difference in my life. I've always been one to hate poetry, the girl in English class that groaned every time a new poem was handed out; however, I've found a connection with his work and I've never been more inspired to not only read more poetry, but to create my own.

[@elizabethwilson3659]

I have autism (not a mental illness though many think it is) and I love this poem so much because I can relate a lot to this poem and it really does carry the voice for people with mental health and other similar medical problems

[@malorytruman1189]

Have you ever read Richard Siken? I love him, too.

[@karinap8390]

He needs to write a book.

[@ButtonPoetry]

You're in luck! Neil has a book: amzn.to/2aGVH5S

[@EvetteTehAwesome]

(HE HAS TWO GNSNF TSKNXFNGN. !!

[@paxtontrevett9163]

and the book titled "The Future" just came out. I'm going to cry

[@elizabethmcguire6444]

Paxton Trevett I just got them both!!!!! Omg they are amazing

[@cuac5869]

@@ButtonPoetry this is awesome! This guy does magic with words.

[@MadeByDidi]

'my sadness is my old paint under the new' love this

[@rick91443]

Just discovering Slam Poetry at 63. My life is complete...Thank you Neil Hilborn and others...rr

[@felonyharlem2219]

Was about to like this until I realized you had 63 likes. Have a comment instead!

[@maiajayne8002]

Never to late or early to start :) welcome to the community

[@alecroberts9271]

I hope it helps you too

[@lukematthias5827]

My school just had Andrea Gibson here, and Neil Hilborn is going to be here Thursday. I made the right choice for a university.

[@Boocwurm31]

uww wadduppppp

[@brookemckay4372]

Luke Matthias where do you go to school wtf

[@parasdox5701]

I was just diagnosed yesterday. It started at 16, a year before I started at prestigious university. I've withdraw twice, this semester being my second. I'm 23 now, no close friends, estranged from all family, but I have to keep doing. I'm not giving up. Thank you for this.

[@AnotherUsername9]

i believe in you

[@L0Ldude11]

parasdox I believe in you too. :)

[@khyanniabanks94]

Never give up..life is worth experiencing rather it's bad or good!

[@khyanniabanks94]

Life is kinda like a book if you stop reading you'll never know what happens in the end

[@raptorroundyourfinger6360]

Hope you are doing well

[@peachesandapollo9013]

"I saw the future. I did. And in it, I was alive."

[@Arielle369]

I’ve been listening to this poem for years. I remember I listened to it again while in the middle of a severe psychotic episode induced by bipolar disorder. I had just received my bipolar diagnosis and I didn’t believe them because of all the stigmas surrounding the disorder. Then I listened to this poem again and it was like I really heard it for the first time. When Neil mentioned the characteristics of Bipolar disorder that are related to bipolar induced psychosis, I broke down sobbing. I finally believed my diagnosis. But because of this poem, I didn’t feel alone. I didn’t feel like something was fundamentally wrong with me. Thank you so much for that Neil, it is one of the best gifts I have ever been given.

[@ButtonPoetry]

Hi Arielle, we are always here for you. Glad this poem has made such an impact!

[@TheImpOfPerversion]

He is such an amazing poet. He says so many things about chronic, severe mental illness that I live and feel but can't express.

[@HolleWalle]

I used to think a lot about suicide but this poem really had a positive effect on me. Every time I feel down this brings me up to realize pain is just part of life and the future is something to look forward to, even if it brings more pain, it's not the only thing in there.

[@ashliemcknight3694]

I hope Neil realises how much his poetry helps people, my millionth time coming back to this and it still gives me goosebumps

[@cosmicquartz]

I come back to this poem so often after I first found it years ago and it always hits in the exact way I need it to.

[@messybookshelf]

I would buy an album of him just reciting his poems. Beautiful and inspiring.

[@misterblueskyyy]

This is one of the most important poems of the last few decades.

[@brianaprevillon9818]

I like to watch this video every once in awhile to remind myself how far I’ve come…

[@maxjjackson]

I do the same thing too.

[@rottingsun]

"I think a lot about killing myself, not like a point on a map, but rather, like a glowing exit sign to a show that's never been quite bad enough to make me want to leave."

[@josedavidburgos2818]

х а т ь з э н и я ​ yessss! a classic right there

[@mattiashammarstrom8605]

Holy shit, at the "glowing exit sign" I almost broke down crying. Coming fresh off a bipolar mania, this poem really hit home. Neil Hilborn, I thank you for your excellent works!

[@dodoofy]

This is me. It's been me all my life. I never understood it until I was diagnosed. It's so refreshing to know I'm not alone.

[@ButtonPoetry]

That is why we exist. Thanks for summing it up so nicely =)

[@HoldupnWatch]

The structure to this poem is absolutely brilliant -- "up", then slowly scales "down." It really captured his story and the bi-polar character. A very heartwarming poem for the mentally ill. This has to be one of my favorite poems on this channel!

[@Elli-o7f]

I watch this whenever I feel like giving up. This is brilliant.

[@fanaticgirlanon8549]

"Start fights with people who are much..fightier.. than me.."

[@snaprajan]

Preformed this in my drama class (fully crediting Neil of course) and it brought everyone to tears. " See, when I'm up I don't kill myself because, holy shit, there's so much left to do! When I'm down I don't kill myself because then the sadness would be over, and the sadness is my old paint under the new." Never have I ever read something so relatable.

[@haydenweir6416]

This poem has saved my life more times than I can count. Thank you Neil, your work is part of the reason that I'm still here.

[@4amcuriosity162]

Wierd how im sitting here feeling alone, yet reading your comment me me realize im 100% not alone. Odd isn't it.

[@haydenweir6416]

4am Curiosity I came back to this poem today feeling the same way. Once again this poem saved me, and your comment makes me feel not quite as alone.

[@ceekayo]

Here it is, if anyone's wondering (feel free to correct me if I'm wrong): "The worst thing about being naked and then being hit by a car is that road rash is a problem for skin. Why was I naked in the middle of the road at noon? I'm glad you asked, imaginary other half of this conversation. I have no idea. Some characteristics of bipolar disorder include dissociation, hallucinations and fugue states so sometimes, I wake up in places I didn't go to sleep. So, there I am, nude, splayed out on a car like a slutty chicken screaming about the government conspiracy to take away my feet. Not my real feet, just my brain feet. I'm about 6 inches away from the concrete when I realise, in slow motion, like the exact opposite of a rhinoceros attack.. This! Was not how I imagined my life would turn out. When I was little, I broke both my ankles jumping off a roof because I was sure a cape would enable me to fly. My parents attributed this to my strong imagination. Last year, my therapist called it a delusion. I failed to see the difference. Also, I really can fly and see the future and make stupid people leave coffee shops with my mind, 43% of the time. Sometimes, I see people as colors. This guy right here is purple which means he just got a promotion. Or a blowjob. A blowmotion, if you will. The point is, the point is, here's a list of things that my brain has told me to do: join a cult, start a cult, become a cabinet maker, kill myself. So, in essence, become a cabinet maker. Break in two and then paint other people's houses, have sex with literally everyone who reminds me of my mother, fight people who are much fightier than me.. like the cops. So, in essence, kill myself. I think a lot about killing myself.. Not like a point on the map but rather like a glowing exit sign that show that's never been quite bad enough to make me wanna leave. See.. When I'm up, I don't kill myself because holy shit, there is so much left to do! And when I'm down, I don't kill myself because then, the sadness would be over. And the sadness is my old paint under the new. The sadness is the house fire or the broken shoulder. I'd still be me without it but I'd be so boring. They keep telling me that seeing things that aren't technically there is called disturbed cognitive functioning. I call it having a super power. Once, I pulled over on the 110 freeway and jumped out of my old jeep because I saw it burst into flames 20 seconds before it actually burst into flames! I knew my girlfriend and I would be together because she turned bright pink the first time she saw me. I know tomorrow is going to come because I've seen it! Sunrise is going to come! All you have to do is wake up! The future has been at war but it's coming home so soon! The future looks like a child in a cape! The future is the map and the treasure! The future looks just like gravity. Everyone is slowly drifting toward everyone else. We are all going to be part of each other one day. The future is a blue sky and a full tank of gas. I saw the future, I did. And in it, I was alive."

[@foranyonewhoslistening5893]

+ceekay THANK YOU YOURE LOVELY

[@wink7958]

So on the part where you have it like "here's a list of things my brain is supposed to do: join a cult, start a cult, become a cabinet maker, kill myself, so in essence become a cabinet maker. 'break IN TWO and then paint other people's houses'." That could totally be one way to interpret it, but I hear it as "Break into and then paint other people's houses", as in like break into someone's house just to paint it. idk, I think it's really just a perception thing but I thought I'd share my perception

[@corradinoc]

I need a good italian translation :(

[@skemberdolala3538]

ceekay thank you for this! Ilyyyyy ;*

[@4amcuriosity162]

@@corradinoc 👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻🍝🍝

[@haileybug5113]

Neil has another superpower. The power to make you feel. Not just to make you laugh- he's not a comedian. Not just to help people who are down- he's not a philanthropist. Neil is a Super Slam Poet who can make make you feel, and that is beautiful.

[@victoriamendez3676]

I had shivers running down my spine. Beautiful. I love Neil's poems. I'd listen to them all day.

[@Cass1521]

This poem is what I turn to when I’m feeling really down. I am so glad it was spoken in this way, and that it’s still on KZbin and still exists.

[@perlalopez211]

Neil Hilborn I fucking love you and your mind and your poems. You put my feelings into words. Thank you.

[@hemmet220]

I have Bipolar I and this poem means more to me than anything I have ever listened to before. This is my head. I cannot even begin. I don't think he's trying to be make light of anything. I don't know, it's how I think. I understood. I got it. Thank you so much, Neil.

[@hanabehrs9865]

He leaves me bawling every time. Absolutely incredible.

[@thinkingoverage12]

You speak as if you're having a panic attack and just trying to catch a breath while still running after your words. And it hurts and it's painful and beautiful and I know because that's how I speak when I'm having a panic attack. I am currently grappling with depression and very frequent suicidal thoughts, and you make me consider fighting harder.

[@lexiluvshim417]

You should always fight because you have so much to live for. Please, keep your head, not for me or for others, but for yourself. Someone out there loves you and if they don't, then someone will, and that in itself should be enough to keep you strong.

[@MauricioGonzalezPalahjunkie]

I love it how there's (at least) three versions I've seen of this poem and I love each and everyone.

[@kristin1483]

I have listened to this poem so many times I can recite it from memory. One of my classmates committed suicide last night. This poem has never been so bitter sweet.

[@hereinyourarms18]

I am terribly sorry to hear that. We don't know each other but know that I wish you good things.

[@jaredrauff1765]

He is amazing to share his flaws as his strengths. I am bipolar and experience the same thoughts although I am only 17 years old and he is much older, he gives so much inspiration and deserves to be heard around the world.

[@musicsfan1]

man how can he go from making me laugh to making me want to cry and wanting to hug him to making me laugh again in under a minute?! I wish I could meet this guy

[@smlemre]

Every single time I watch this, I notice something that I didn't see before. He's such a genius

[@ella_jam]

I adore the brisk head nod he does right at the first pause he takes in every single video. It's how I know it's him and knowing that makes me feel like I'm sitting in a big room as the curtains veiling my most favourite play are about to open. It's a very warm feeling...

[@danniwalters9985]

I have watched many slam poems since I recently became hooked on them, but nothing quite like Neil's. His work is beautiful and pulls at my heartstrings like no other poems I have heard before.Thank you for performing in such a unique and raw way you have inspired me.

[@ImaBearXDnewaccount]

I found this poem many years ago and still it gives me full body chills whenever I listen ❤ thank you so much for writing this. Never underestimate the impact it makes.

[@ItsLanaLeslie]

I’ve had this on repeat all morning. The most recent time I watched it, I had it muted (as I was watching something else simultaneously with my family) and even silent, you can feel the emotion Neil puts into his work. Even silent, I have goosebumps.

[@Kevinzigman]

Like so many I come back to this all the time, I could probably recite it from memory. But every time I watch this it makes me feel not alone because someone else gets it. And yeah thanks Neil you’ve gotten me through so many years with just that last line.

[@samigrace4356]

Neil performed at my college and I was blown away. He's fantastic.

[@heyneondragon7334]

By far my favourite Neil Hilborn poem because it provides hope that he is going to stick around for as long as he damn can and now I will too even though I never thought I would when I was stuck in a rut of depression 2 years ago. "I saw the future, I did. And in it, I was alive." will probably stay by my heart for ever

[@snazzydrew]

everytime this guys leave me crying.

[@kevinperri93]

"When I'm up, I don't kill myself because holy shit there's so much to do. And when I'm down, I don't kill myself because then the sadness would be over." I remember back in freshman year wanting to die every damn day of my life. Now I'm a senior, graduating in a couple months. I'm still here. Still slightly broken, but I'm still here

[@wendywiglesworth6364]

Neil Hilborn, you are amazing. Don't ever let anyone dim your sparkle, no matter how dark or bright it shines. As if now I met ppl who one- got clean after your OCD talk, 2-who you just plain inspired and4th person, ya myself, and it's so comforting knowing other ppl and or even if it's just , well not just but you. ...you make me warm n fuzzy with your thoughts of a shared alter reality that to some is unheard of, to some more is bonkers bit to me, it's warm and fuzzy comfort hope inspiration and motivation. Please, please please don't ever not be you! much love n respect!

[@Iman131096]

Neil never disappoints, that was beautiful

[@haydenweir6416]

This poem has saved my life multiple times over the years. Tonight was another one of those nights.

[@jasarevicdina]

i just really love this guy. like, really.

[@ErIcKa62442]

this may have helped save my life

[@VanshikaRSingh]

Three.

[@OwlskiTV]

Stay strong, and continue to always look for that little shimmer of hope. You may be but one person in this world of many, but you are one-of-a-kind.

[@daotrananhduy]

hey there. you three. just want to make sure you are alive and doing well.

[@anjoliwanag4927]

Not looking good, eh?

[@Brandino00]

neil is absolutely next level. every time i come across another one of his poems I'm in awe

[@prithvirajnath3090]

Neil Hilborn, you describe the emotions in such a generic way. The way one actually lives sadness, depression & moments of happiness. You speak your heart out and I love that.

[@FingerTiesWithFries]

My favorite part is when he says "The sadness is my old paint under the new"

[@Minunmaani]

Same, because of that I wanted to see it once, and once more.

[@homosoftommorow]

He is so good at taking a serious complex concept, tell a mind opening story about it and then making it strangely funny at the same time. He is amazing and i hope one day my poetry is as good as this. His experiences in this poem are so close to mine, its almost scary.

[@thoughtbubble9170]

"The future has been at war, but it's coming home so soon" cant handle this cant breathe

[@HonestlyyDearr]

This guy is amazing.

[@tonyatemple4657]

I'm obsessed with poetry slams and spend hours enjoying spoken word, but no one has ever given me the chills. Neil, however, wow. His poem OCD gave me the chills, and the concept in this one gives my heart hope. You are a beautiful soul Neil, tell me my future

[@larylobo93]

This will always make me cry, just needed to hear this one more time ❤️

[@gabriellatolerico7985]

His poems make me feel so much, and I cry every time I watch this one.

[@sukanyabaliarsingh6188]

"I saw the future. And in it, I was alive." ❤

[@rileighhickey9879]

It has been 7 years of me coming and going from this video. It’s reminded me of a lot throughout those 7 years. I can smile with ease these days. I wish I could talk to me 7 years ago. Tell her it’ll be worth it.

[@standupstandout721]

I cried watching this. Thank you so much for beautifully saying the words I have been struggling to get out.

[@emcosm]

Neil Hilborn puts thoughts into my head that I cannot fathom into words. Wow.

[@tyais75]

Once again Neil this saves me, Ty.

[@Cheshireswords]

Hey Neil I just wanted you to know that I finally found a good therapist and I got to show him this video. There is so much left to do. Thank you for you.

[@anon4449]

I'm overwhelmed with all types of emotions atm. I really just want to hug him. I love this. A lot.

[@shamonse77]

OMG!!! Where were you on November 2015... Your words change my life every time I hear them, Please don't stop this art that saves people!!

[@FistLowWeight]

Can't help but shiver and have some tears in my eyes every time I watch this

[@ariananamana2968]

This is my all time favourite poem, and Neil is definitely my favourite poet.

[@quillfell496]

I wonder if he knows how many time this poem has single handedly brought me back to earth. “I saw the future, I did. And in it- I was alive.”

[@o0bluemilk0o]

" I don't kill myself because then the sadness would be over" Holy fuck. This bit made my skin tingle. I've never had it out in to words.

[@rachellewis3599]

"The future has been at war, but it's coming home so soon." Tears. Thank you.

[@LittleJ345]

The last part of this made me cry. I'd never thought about why I had come so close yet never followed through, this just opened my eyes and I cant stop crying

[@Stew37i]

Hey everyone.. Listen to Hammock in the background while having this on.. I suggest the songs 'I Can Almost See You' and 'Then The Quiet Explosion'. Give this an amazing vibe and aura.

[@sodirob]

Stewart Mackay This. Everyone should do this.

[@eddyjt13]

Stewart Mackay thanks for showing me something awesome

[@PreyMagic]

Stewart Mackay and yet again... i bet I'm missing out on something great because I'm too fucking lazy

[@pilimili96]

Hypernio my life in one sentence

[@kaityweathington8155]

This is amazing

[@NotyoNinja]

2 years ago I watched this poem wanting to kill myself feeling like this future Neil was talking about was unreachable. now I'm here because he gave me hope. so thank you neil

[@skylar1758]

Love this guy! Always get chills

[@ampm6087]

Neil Hilborn is a beautiful creature. Absolutely beautiful.

[@megmiranda]

thank god for neil hilborn, honestly. this guy helped me save my own life.

[@fencechildllg]

Nothing like this has ever spoken to me so much before... This is life-changing. Thank you, Neil

[@glowvonglow9862]

God, his poetry makes me want to cry. It's not often you hear someone say that there's a chance when you're sad. You hear it but it's not usually meant.

[@MusicIsLifeForUsEnd]

this guy right there is precious

[@isabellevasquez7433]

How do I always end up smiling and crying at the same time with Neil’s poems

[@meganc4233]

I saw the future and in it, I was alive :)

[@allisonzachery]

I got that last quote of the poem tattooed on me today, along with a mental health awareness ribbon.. this became one of my biggest comforts when I heard it. Now it’s with me forever ❤️

[@emilyprice1020]

I could watch this every day and still probably cry on most of them. Thank you for this.

[@blackrosebuttler037]

This poem just got me so hard, like, I never thought I could even relate to a poem, what he said just got me so hard it makes me cry every time. The beauty in his words is just amazing, he makes me feel normal and he shines a light in that dark place in my brain. He inspired me so much. He is just so passionate, it moves me

[@eggymceggface4834]

One of my favourites by far. It's amazing how he words it so flawlessly

[@donwoods1787]

I'm glad there is somebody like this guy who can understand....

[@Lillie-el1ub]

I love this poem so much. Neil Hilborn is amazing.

[@SalwaAbdussabur]

As someone who experiences mental illness, I am in love by the connection of having mental illness and being “spiritually gifted.” No denouncing has your “illness” but recognizing the ways in which western medicine doe not consider there other spiritual aspects. I have had these conversation multiple time. I’m just real greatful for this ❤️🤲🏾 thank you

[@4amcuriosity162]

Right,somtimes it is a spiritual disturbance. Not a physical one.

[@lifeaccordingtome4283]

"I think a lot about killing myself. Not like a point on a map but rather a glowing exit sign to a show that's never been quite bad enough for me to leave. When I'm up I don't kill myself because 'Holy shit there is so much left to do' and when I'm done I don't kill myself because then the sadness would be over and my sadness is my old paint under the new. The sadness is the house fire or the broken shoulder, I'd still be me without it but I'd be so boring."

[@alishafoxxx]

I can relate... absolutely love his poems about mental illnesses... they are spot on. He has an amazing talent!