OCD, Sexual Identity, & Overcoming Enmeshment in Adult Relationships, with Brett Gelman!

This week we're sitting down with the fearless, hilarious, and thoughtful Brett Gelman (Stranger Things, Fleabag) as he opens up about the challenges that have shaped him, from his early battles with OCD and questioning his identity, to intense enmeshment with his mother and overcoming those tendencies as he navigates adult relationships.
Brett opens up about:
- The ways he felt different growing up
- His early experiences with drug use
- His OCD around numbers and fear of the future
- Why questioning his sexuality as a kid led him to have a breakdown
He also shares insights on method acting, the importance of creating space for men to challenge toxic masculinity, and the importance of infusing all of your endeavors with a little bit of yourself.
PLUS Mayim explains why self-centeredness may actually be at the root of our attempts at caring for others!
This conversation is a must-watch for anyone seeking to understand the intricate dance between our past experiences and our present selves.
TUNE IN to find out how facing your past can dramatically reshape your future!
---
CHAPTERS:
0:00 - Intro
2:45 - Brett Gelman Introduction
20:04 - Early Drug Use
22:55 - Enmeshed Relationship with Mom
26:30 - Therapy Journey
29:30 - Battling OCD
39:20 - Method Acting
54:54 - Maternal Relationship Revisited
1:06:14 - Exploring the Human Experience
1:11:54 - Challenging Cultural Norms
1:21:18 - Embracing Optimism
1:26:34 - Conclusion with Brett Gelman
---
Listen on our website: www.bialikbreakdown.com​​
Listen on Spotify: open.spotify.com/show/6TgOe2p...
Listen on Apple Podcasts: podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast...
Check out our Merch: shop.bialikbreakdown.com/
Sign up for our Newsletter: www.bialikbreakdown.com​​
Follow us on Instagram: / bialikbreakdown
Find Mayim Bialik:
/ ​​​
/ ​​​
/ ​​​
/ mayimbialik
Find Brett Gelman:
Twitter: / brettgelman
Instagram: / brettgelman
Brett Gelman's new book, The Terrifying Realm of the Possible: Nearly True Stories: www.harpercollins.com/product...
Theme Song Written, Produced, and Performed by Ed Robertson. Mixed by Kenny Luong.
#MayimBialik​​​ #BialikBreakdown #BrettGelman #enmeshment #OCD

[@MayimBialik]

Have you ever experienced an enmeshed relationship, either in childhood or while navigating adult relationships? Or even with your pets, as Brett Gelman opened up about?? 🐶🫶 Let us know down below!

[@marciovieira7849]

Atualmente eu tenho um relacionamento emaranhado aqui, tenho 3 cães adotivos (que antes eram 7), e 5 gatos , todos eram abandonados das ruas, e 4 deles eu adotei filhotes, nossa relação "é bem emaranhada"

[@susanhenderson5001]

Okay, am I the only one whose brain immediately felt sorry for Brett when he said he was born in 1976 because 7+6=13? Just me? Okay then...

[@zach8025]

I’m not really familiar with the term, enmeshed, however, being a byproduct of divorced parents who vehemently hated one another, my relationship with my mother was complex and contentious. My parents were both emotionally abusive, using my older brother and I as weapons against the other. I look very much like my father, which could enrage my mother at any given moment, the echoes of those stinging words I still carry with me to this day. Oddly, for as much as I resented my mother, I became unable to function without her, wanting to but, fearing escape in the same breath. I did not, and do not, hate my mother, quite the opposite really. I’m filled with a sense of regret and sadness, longing for a relationship that never was, nor can or will it never be. She passed away last June and since, I’ve slowly been healing, finding peace in forgiveness, though sometimes still feeling guilty for feeling a sense of relief and release in her passing, that it somehow set me free. Is that enmeshed?

[@MayimBialik]

@@susanhenderson5001 😬

[@MayimBialik]

@@marciovieira7849 🐶🐈💗

[@raquelcarvalho9740]

The interview with Jenette made me realize that I had an enmeshment relationship with my mom, now I've been going to therapy for 2 years thanks to that. These interviews are so important. Thank you for that. ❤

[@SlipperyPotter]

I’m watching this interview and I keep thinking, “God I love these people!” So smart, so insightful. Not to mention their incredible talent. I thank you both for your work, which has given me so much enjoyment. And thank you for your candor and brilliance. A wonderful interview. Thank you Brett. Thank you Mayim. Thank you Jonathan.

[@no-dg2vl]

Thank you for raising awareness and opening up like that.

[@orland0110]

Thank you so much for having Brett Gelman. There are many people in general that deal with and go through OCD. I really enjoy listening to the many topics discussed on this podcast. I gave this video a thumbs up. My Tuesdays are wonderful when you post an episode Mayim! ❤

[@juless7807]

The guy I live with (who I used to call boyfriend) is enmeshed with his mom, and his daughter, and his dog! Thank you, Brett, for opening up about this deeply personal thing. I'm watching the episode now, and very interested to hear it. The ex is a sex addict, and I attend support groups with other partners/ex-partners, and enmeshment is a well-known word within this community. It's so destructive.

[@marisamartinezolivera]

Tuesday is my favorite day of the week only because this fabulous podcast, Mayim, Jonathan and all and everyone of their guests I watch while driving to work! Said that, light OCD here, and 1, 13 (I chose this when playing basketball at the university) and 21 as fav numbers! Never thought of having favorite numbers as something “not-normal”…

[@cathyray6030]

Thank you! Great conversation, especially the honest dialogue about the current events since October7...

[@marywright4934]

Im in thérapy and a big part of it isthe Mother wound. It really makes sense once you explore it

[@samsmulders7908]

Another great episode! This podcast is the reason that tuesday is my favorite day of the week❤️! Thank you🙏🏼

[@haraya222]

Omfg thank you for this episode! Codependency/enmeshment in adulthood is real af. I feel like there aren’t many people or spaces around me that understand this. Oof, I feel seen. Thanks for your perspectives

[@carriesmith742]

After it came up on my Google feed about some of Brett's book signings getting canceled due to our lovely country, I was BEYOND THRILLED to see him come up as a guest on the podcast this week! 1:15:05 WELL SAID! My husband, son and I discuss that EXACT THING and we're Atheists!

[@rileywalstrom3037]

As someone who has diagnosed OCD, numbers are a big thing for me. I have found that I'm able to function better by using math to get to a good number if the given number options suck. Numerology opened my world lol. To be fair, I have only known I have OCD for about 3 years, so I'm progressing. Odd numbers and palindrome numbers are my favorite.

[@hillbillyherb]

Great interview, really enlightening.

[@ColorJoyLynnH]

I live under multiple rocks. My entertainment environment is mostly Mid Michigan local acoustic friends. We’re a medium fish in a tiny pond and we sing live as well. I don’t watch TV or movies at all. I listen to the radio when I’m in the carand I listen to lots of podcasts about creative stuff and history. I love this channel because it’s really smart and interesting and unafraid, and I don’t have to watch it with my eyes.

[@MayimBialik]

🙏🙏🙏

[@marciovieira7849]

Muito bom o podcast de hoje Acabei de assistir, tema bem atual, e complicado, de forma global. Realmente... "homem tem dominado homem para o seu próprio prejuízo", é triste mais é a realidade. Obrigado, daqui do Brasil !!❤

[@zach8025]

Numbers have played a role in my life as far back as I can remember. Never liking odd numbers, it went beyond superstitions and including patterns and spacing. 16 is my favorite number, which can also be broken down by and into equal numbers.

[@janelleetsitty36]

I only watch "Curb" but never heard of this comedians name before, but I now recall him on "curb."

[@Melaniethomasintuitive]

Great conversation, thank you!

[@junglejolene]

Anything that allows me to make order of my chaos and lets me know that I DO have a tribe makes my day. This interview holds that gift. And Mayim I absolutely loved it when you quoted Bette Midler's character in Beaches...."enough about me, what do you think about me"...the adult version of the character you played in Beaches. You were so brilliant in that movie btw. I love Brett Gelman's take on himself and so grateful for his generous share. No wonder he is such a fantastic writer.

[@MetalPhantomX]

Brett is such a beautiful human inside and out! I have thoroughly enjoyed this interview. Plus, it doesn't hurt that he is so dang easy om the eyes! I feel like he would give great bear hugs!

[@DBYouTubeHandle]

Super episodes. Everyone trying to figure out life, healing.

[@FaunaFloraFae]

Brett was fantastic in Stranger Things! Very insightful and open discussion. Laugh out loud moments too. Thank you!

[@sara35ish]

This is an amazing interview.

[@altaresjoyceee]

I also have OCD and special numbers, mine are 12, 17 & 23 😅 Maybe i should read his book? its interesting and I think it will help me. Thank you for another great episode MBB! 🎉 I listened to this on Spotify and will watch again later.. if I still have strong connection 😩 because im at the province right now

[@ohdeerdesign1387]

okay - this 65 year old has always had "numbers" - I happen to love 13 - 11 - 1 - I tend to go for odd numbers. Mayim, I not only do the multiplying - I add numbers to see if they add up to my favorites. BRB - calling Better Help! Thank you for your amazing program - I enjoy your approach to each subject. And thank you for proving that the most intelligent people are so funny. Again, thank you for your program.

[@charlenebrown816]

Great podcast guys! ❤❤❤

[@_katydid.]

Fleabag! His character as Martin was interesting. The show was great.

[@joanmurphy2166]

Thank you.

[@gdkopinionator4356]

I wonder what the comorbidity of OCD and enmeshment is. As a person who was diagnosed with OCD many years ago, and has an uncomfortably enmeshed maternal relationship, i can see very strong cause/effect relationships between certain aspects of the disorders.

[@vikkienos6807]

Very interesting interview.

[@tomlichnofsky.7048]

The Awesomeness that Is Continues! ✊😊👊🍁♈🍁

[@fairygodmotherflowerEternal221]

❤❤😊I can tell that this one is going to be good. I will watch it tonight , thank you. ❤😊

[@MayimBialik]

Hope you enjoy!!

[@CarolineofTheInternet]

I love him! Mr. K on Go On was awesome.

[@christinakoch2738]

This was a great episode, Mayim! You should have actress Skyler Samuels on this pod!

[@elishaminor2900]

Great discussion MD.I was wondering if you could recall a time in your youth were you might have question your sexuality.

[@Me-on1tq]

There's definitely life after death..

[@marywright4934]

Absolutely without question

[@Me-on1tq]

@@gothboschincarnate3931 well there are too many evidences but the main one is all the ndes that people have had..

[@09ChargerRT]

I guess I live under a rock, never watched any of those shows, never heard of some of them, and never heard if him. Did she mention Friends? I've watched that. Kinda busy working and taking care of a severely autistic adult.❤sorry dude

[@JuiciferPandoraRex]

johnathan, where did you get that brick pattern shelf thingy behind you?

[@carriesmith742]

Also I watched the "Quiet on Set" documentary who lived and breathed iCarly, Victorious and Sam & Cat while growing up.

[@LiINammmm]

Lemon party is watching

[@accidentalpatient4152]

Although we could only handle 10 seconds before bailing after hearing his voice

[@timeisntreal]

He sucks ass

[@gabrielagabyrodriguez72]

Fashion is its own character ❤

[@AlonzoJ-pf4dt]

❤

[@janelleetsitty36]

"13" was my softball jersey number when I was 11 and it just stuck with me on all my team uniforms, for all my life 😆

[@m_brokenleg]

My universiry basketball jersey was “13” too. Because it was my number. And it still hangs in my necklace..and I’m in my 60’s…😊

[@janelleetsitty36]

@@m_brokenleg ... I get it lol just entered my 60's

[@nakiasimone]

This intro alone is fire.... Thank you Jesus for the lives of these people :)

[@jessicasimplicioreis3824]

Alguém assistindo??🌌🌌

[@raquelcarvalho9740]

Eu

[@PelvisPresley420]

Mayim Good video. Can you bring Cillian Murphy, Michael Keaton and Ryan Gosling on your podcast. Thanks

[@lizziefrances]

Cillian Murphy would be something. I think, though, the Oppenheimer media odyssey has tapped him for several lifetimes 😆

[@PelvisPresley420]

@@lizziefrances he's a fascinating actor. I became an instant fan when I saw Batman Begins.

[@AvanishRaju]

No wayyyyyy! You must have absorbed the card into your skin!! Do it again! But slowly this time!!

[@sara35ish]

I really appreciated the discussion about anti semitism post October 7. I went to Brett Gelman's book event at the JCC Manhattan. It was so awesome as well.I appreciate his support of Israel

[@Me-on1tq]

The numbers in religion also have symbolic meanings..many times. .of course sometimes they are literal

[@juliemuchow4576]

The guy you want many philosophical trips with. But regret later.

[@rachaelboulton5684]

I'm an even number girlie but my birthday is the 25th, not ideal but it feels ok cause 25 in my mind registers as 1/4 of 100 which is acceptable... Never said this stuff out loud but everyone I know has a thing for even numbers. Isn't that everyone? 😅

[@garyclouse4164]

Call me Zek T have a suggestion for a future topic: Hos fear abd insecurity can be manipu;ated to create racism and hate

[@nolanduarte]

Sick ass comedy

[@autumnjimenez6482]

I stand with my Jewish brothers and sisters❤

[@coppersense999]

3 and 9. obv..cuz 9 has 3 3s

[@coppersense999]

numbers like music is universal aka God's language

[@joanshavit2630]

Thank you for speaking of Israel and anti-Semitism in such a direct and thoughtful way.

[@vicricciuti4690]

Ugh on the smell commercial.

[@MikeyRumi180]

What does sexual fluidity even mean???LOL. Isn't he just Bisexual or Bi-curious? I am Bi-curious so I am just asking.....

[@tahiyamarome]

Different things to different people.

[@ALF3Y]

This guys personality is literally ‘im stereotypically jewish look at me isn’t that quirky’ and as a jew that’s the most bland type of person

[@JaniceAJanice]

Why are the teaser previous so long? Just get on with the episode please

[@larrywayne6254]

There is a fast forward option, friend? lol, what a strange thing to complain about? It’s astonishing to me that people don’t understand parasocial relationships?

[@HollyLiana]

@JaniceAJanice why are you here?

[@HollyLiana]

​@@larrywayne6254 I concur!

[@haroldwrightjr8454]

I thought the same thing, and then realized that I chose to watch this and subscribe to this channel because I want to consume her content, and that it’s certainly a possibility that it was an intentional creative choice that she made, because every single other podcast clip fits what your expectations were. And what mine were when I had that thought. It’s easier to do what everyone else is doing.

[@klgore63]

Choose the “more” option at end of video header and choose the 2nd chapter to start and it will skip the intro.

[@m_brokenleg]

And now, after this amazing podcast’s episode, I want to buy & read Brett Gelman’s book! I'll need to buy a new bookshelf for the books that this podcast moves me to read! 😅 On a most sad & serious side, what Brett said from 1:08:25 about loosing friends, feeling alienated at his own industry after the rising of antisemitisim from Oct. 7th on had broken my heart. So unfair. But, hell, how well structured explanation prone to optimism💙🤍💙

[@hulkhatepunybanner]

*It's Mr. K from **_Go On._* Loved that series.

[@jakedegneau8284]

These are the type of people to smell their own farts, so gross

[@Buy_YT_Views.447]

kinda off of topic, but did you buy any dogecoin?