Of Course Madame Web Is Terrible

[@jerichosombilon5169]

This feels like an indie film made by college students trying to figure out how AI writing works.

[@Lord_GhostBoner_]

I’ve said it fifty times but it looks like a shit youtube fan film

[@chasehedges6775]

@@Lord_GhostBoner_ 👍

[@AshleyYoung87]

Well Ironic if some short Movie On KZbin are pretty much enjoyable than big Budgets Movie like this Nowadays

[@bigfatbruce]

@@Lord_GhostBoner_ Most fan films are made by actual fans though. The production values and acting skills are usually lacking but their hearts are in it. I seriously doubt the actors, the director, the writers or the producers of Madame Web had ever even heard of her before.

[@zzodysseuszz]

Sooooo spider-man lotus?

[@JP-rm7km]

Even for the money launderers who fund this trash, it will be too much of a loss.

[@TotallySearch]

Who's funding these movies?

[@ericswag8465]

They are being funded by the people that print the money. They dont care.

[@justajawausingwifi4642]

​@@TotallySearchbanksters

[@N0bodyn01]

Glad people are starting to figure this out. Hollywood is clearly becoming just the center for money laundering. Next to politics and wars of course.

[@BrandonScott-mi5pz]

LOSING MONEY 💵 MONEY LOSING MONEY 💵 💰💰💰🪙💰💰💰💰💰🪙💰💰💰💰💰💰🪙😡😤😡😠😤😠

[@ThePsychoAnon]

“You know what Spider-Man fans have been screaming for?” “Dumb women running around a final destination ripoff barely strung together with d list marvel characters?” … “Dump as much of our laundered money into this as humanly possible. Also get the 50 shades girl, casting couch funbags and a brown one. We’ve struck gold.”

[@michaellee8815]

“And a brown one” hahahah

[@Burger-man-real]

@@michaellee8815lol

[@Damian.419]

😭😭😭😭and a brown one is wild

[@BrickMasterMax]

Casting Couch fun bags. 😂

[@raven3067]

The only reason why I looked forward to this movie was because I just knew that Reaper would rant on it. 😂

[@GlonkOverlord]

😂😂

[@Scagguy4014]

Same

[@TotallySearch]

Venom Verse is somehow more worse than the DCEU

[@Necromonger69]

No waayy

[@XenoEnthusiast13]

Amen brother!!🤣🤣🤣

[@alfalldoot6715]

The only way the Venomverse can be redeemed is if they make a film on Spidey's greatest villain, The Wall.

[@Crusader316]

That would be the funniest fucking thing, imagine the bootleg sinister six with THE WALL

[@therobustempyrean1436]

​@@Crusader316His catchphrase? "You can't TRUMP me, Spider-Man!"

[@Crusader316]

@@therobustempyrean1436 i just imagine his head shaking violently and hes making gurgling noises and he morphs into a giant trump head

[@bigdaddyjehu]

*Women's

[@Сайтамен]

There already is a movie "The Great Wall" and it's so bad it's hilarious.

[@Incalor]

She went into the Amazon rainforest full of mosquitoes, bugs and assorted insects wearing a sleeveless dress. Good luck with that.

[@marcelgardner8497]

Wait! A dying woman gives birth in the rainforest to a child with the assistance of magical arachnid tribal humanoids and the raising of that child isnt the movie? Wow!

[@AlainBoudard]

That's it, you are more capable at writing scripts than the army of overpaid assholes who wrote this one 😅

[@sanjana6127]

That would have made a solid movie

[@peposo7]

Or how the hell the baby got back to America. It was the 70's on a Peruvian, amazon, remote forest. Did the baby sucked spider tits?

[@dannyknightblade4592]

That premise sounds a lot more interesting than what the movie ended up being.

[@SaideepLimbu]

Even if they would go with the story of comics it would still make a great movie...but who cares..they have to force their women empowerment agenda on us

[@iamtheexaggerator2760]

The Age of A.I. scripts continue to prove costly for Hollywood

[@Bluepenguin28]

@Q_24 i heard they used those hacks for at least 5 movies and all of them got %10-%25 scores from critics (yeah even woke critics), that should've been a proof for Sony to not hire these tools again but NOPE they did anyway...

[@brianmurphy6480]

The worst part was when Uncle Ben turned to the camera and went into a minute-long spiel about his damn rice! 🤦‍♂️

[@A_YouTube_Commenter]

"With great power , comes an ice cold Pepsi."

[@solomonrichards599]

@@A_KZbin_Commenter I think I just heard Cliff Robertson turning in his grave...

[@Thurmanatr16]

It’s RICING TIME!

[@FriendlyBatDoom]

That MAMA cut away 😂😂😂😂 I don't blame him since I did the same thing. 😂

[@TotallySearch]

Madam Web tried to do the Overwatch route and failed

[@Thesavagesouls]

No need for rule 34, that girl has spent half her acting career naked.

[@hansolo631]

She's been nude in movies so it doesn't matter. She's hot af tho for sure. Anyways, I guess when Spider-man movies print money like they have been, they are going to try and cash in on it by any means necessary. Movies aren't made because someone has a good idea anymore, movies are made because shareholders insist on IP's being ran into the ground. This is no worse than the Lion King remake or Diablo 4. This is full fledged capitalism in action@Gyrfalcon312

[@UnknownHC]

Remember these are the writers who were demanding higher pay, people who don't even know that papers need to be printed and are usually delivered the next morning

[@Mystyx-Sama]

The amount of raw money they've been spending on these failures could go to help end both hunger and homelessness throughout the world, but instead.... well... The Message is way more important

[@mb2776]

crapitalism. always in the need for a new market and they found it in the liberals.

[@Grasslander]

It's funny how leftists keep claiming being fat is attractive, but when they make their movies they choose slim women, because they know that that's what people like to see, despite the daily messaging in schools and media. But if you state the obvious openly, then you're a target.

[@LuznoLindo]

That's what I find the most horrifyingly sad thing: The fact millions of dollars, which could've been used to help so many suffering people, were wasted on... this.

[@Slv4S8n666]

I simply don't get why some get to launder endless billions while the unfortunate straight up die of starvation

[@Vechking]

That's the most exposing part of this whole woke/pc culture. It gives off the facade of equality and justice but really it's an insidious and selfish, virtue signalling cult of spoiled, bored and entitled assholes that think that the world is more racist and sexist and misogynist than it's ever been and that each member in a postion of power and influence is the next martin Luther King.

[@silashurd3597]

This movie makes Morbius look like an amazing movie by comparison!🤣

[@grandmoffrex]

What are you talking about about morbius is already amazing😂

[@silashurd3597]

@@grandmoffrex honestly, I never really hated Morbius. To me it’s an ok movie. But I speaking about the public’s perception on that movie

[@Crusader316]

....its morbin time?......

[@johnhoran9840]

@@silashurd3597 I saw someone say it makes The Marvels look good by comparison.

[@silashurd3597]

@@Crusader316 IT’S MORBIN TIME, BABY!!

[@daxota_6750]

That wasn't ANY NEON LETTER. That was a Neon P from a perfectly product placed PEPSI Sign 😂

[@asmodeusguys4472]

It was punsihement from the Pepsi overlords for not drinking the damn thing.

[@furnoprime9439]

⁠@@asmodeusguys4472 Pepsi Man's "Divine Pepsishment!" attack has bested yet another baddie.

[@MM-xn6tn]

This whole movie in a nutshell: "THAT JUST RAISES FURTHER QUESTIONS!"

[@X-man0074u]

The second I heard this trash being announced, I immediately prayed to the Lord for him to bring his judgement sooner.

[@PaladinHD]

real

[@kagakai7729]

Nothing is going to happen sooner

[@JonathanRodriguez-nz9nw]

seriously... this was beyond horrible

[@karls4937]

No judgment for another 1000 years, can't come soon enough.

[@brianmiller4207]

I am in New York City right now, have been for my entire life, so, which subway line has red upholstered seats?! They are hard plastic so the MTA can hose the spunk, blood and urine off every morning... don't even get me started on the TABLES?!?! Too funny.

[@WizdaVision]

1:14 - The cutaway clips on this channel are peak comedy This channel is lowkey a hidden gem. Glad you mix in a couple positive reviews every once in a while too. Subbed! Keep roasting the shit out of this garbage media mate.

[@mladabitanga2677]

LMAO she's in the Amazonian rainforest dressed like she's going to the local green market 😂

[@Receipt]

Shout out to the wardrobe department though, trying to ugg that blonde chick up must be a nightmare. Oscar worthy.

[@andyt2979]

So she saves the day through the power of positive affirmations, telling the other spiderwomen how stunning, brave and powerful they are. I would love to believe this is some brilliant piece of satire, commenting on the ridiculous nature of the self-esteem movement, but I feel that would be giving these writers far too much credit.

[@hieunguyenrileygekko]

on the brightside, the Morbius memes will be relevant once again

[@Ultriac301]

The bad guy was afraid that he was going to die after being thrown out of the window yet he gets run over by speeding vehicles TWICE without taking ANY damage and eventually dies by a...PEPSI SIGN???😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣

[@StefunnyStrange]

“The only good thing I can say about this was seeing the actresses at the premiere”…**Liar, Liar clip** “MAMA!” That made me spit my damn drink out laughing. And I’m a woman. KZbin is gonna suspend your ass. 😂 Keep it up, Reaper. You really do play too damn much. I rewatched this twice BTW. I’m a film nerd and hate Hollywood right now but my depression isn’t too bad because I at least have your videos to look forward to.

[@Buford_T_Justice1]

Dakota Johnson’s acting is at exactly the same level of quality as the writing in this film.

[@nilssonakerlund2852]

She should just stick with nudie flicks.

[@jackthumbikomkandawire8591]

Where are the other dangerous Amazon animals like jaguars and anacondas?

[@DC-hw7fw]

Even THEY exclude feminists from their diet.

[@BrianCB28]

My Peruvian girlfriend lives in Lima, Peru. I have visited her many times in Lima. Relatively few people there know English. So, I'm impressed that these spider people, who live in remote areas of the Amazon, are able to speak perfect English.

[@nadilenebudski]

I think we all owe Morbius an apology.

[@SlavicHavoc]

Perhaps I treated you too harshly, Michael.

[@AndersonMallony-EricCF]

No.

[@peposo7]

Since it was the same writer, no.

[@brockdavid]

“It’s Morbin time…!”

[@turbobox7234]

That Liar Liar quip got my rollin 🤣🤣🤣

[@suzybearheart530]

Your rant on True Detective Season 4 (with Critical Drinker After Hours) had me rolling. Thank you for mentioning that tongue that just appeared on the floor because...ghosts? I guess? You are a delight, sir.

[@JTL_IRL-zz8cq]

When I saw the trailers, I literally knew they were going to mess it up😂😂😂

[@tonythaler8472]

You and everyone else who isn't suffering from woketardation.

[@ballerinaonamusicbox]

@@tonythaler8472its not even woke its just a bad movie

[@BlackWolf728]

"If madame web was a file, I'd delete it" -TheCanadianLad

[@TheStraightestWhitest]

I await Reaper's reviews more than I await any Hollywood trash nowadays.

[@AlainBoudard]

To be fair, one goes with the other 😊

[@TheStraightestWhitest]

​@@AlainBoudardNot even for me. I don't watch the Hollywood tripe, just Reaper and Despot ripping them.

[@AlainBoudard]

@@TheStraightestWhitest yeah but I meant that we wouldn't have those reviews without the stupid production to rant about, right ?

[@TheStraightestWhitest]

@@AlainBoudard That's true. It's the one silver lining.

[@KindredEmotions]

The box office numbers of this movie make the writers strike hilarious in hindsight.

[@KeytarArgonian]

Did you see the red carpet? The producer said that the sole reason the entire movie is set in 2003.. get this. Is so that it makes sense the song ‘toxic’ is in the movie soundtrack 😂😂😂😂

[@elongatedmanforever1252]

God help us if they make a Goblin origin movie lol.

[@Njbear7453]

Everyone would go and see it lol

[@brockdavid]

The plot twist would be it was the Hobgoblin

[@L337M4573RK]

"Everything Woke turns to sh*t!" ~ Donald Trump Do you believe him now???

[@jonnypokemon]

my favorite part of the movie is when cassie, a woman who can see into the future and change its outcome, calls in an emergency helicopter only for the entire crew onboard to get engulfed in a fireball. way to go girlboss!!!

[@Killercutsvideo]

as a member of that backward Amazonian tribe I resent that dig!

[@margaretwood152]

0:00 Akshuley, that's an *_INSULT_* to *_Dog SHllTE_*

[@Jus-Too-Smoove]

7:18 no way you used the wedding crashers in an edit when I watch that exact scene today 😂😂😂. Ma the meatloaf!!!

[@AntWhatsUp]

If it’s not Spider-Man idgaf 🗣️💯🔥🔥🔥

[@saturn580]

Feminists wrote a story about a super heroine ambulance driver whose signature move is crashing cars into people? Always nice when the sexist jokes write themselves! 🤣

[@SpencerWiles]

I laughed hard from the outset.😂 Another banger. 🥶 I love you, Reaper. 😂💙

[@qZbGmYjS4QusYqv5]

1:04 - Costumes look liked they were badly CGI-ed over the girls at the last moment

[@LowTierPancakes]

As always, your videos brighten my day. Though you may suffer through this trash, you always create hilarious art from it.

[@gicousinjoe6199]

'Madame Web' makes 'Morbius’ look like an Oscar winning art-house movie.

[@kadran3263]

'I, have had enough, of you!' Kirk kicking Sony in the face so they fall into the liquid hot magma.

[@oeckstei]

When the actresses are taking shots at the movie does the studio even care? 😂

[@SafetyBriefer]

This movie gave us Sydney Sweenie on a red carpet. Let's be thankful.

[@sassycatthill1495]

Fun fact in one of the scenes I think it’s like the first scene when they’re showing the backstory scene and the first part of that scene. the camera angle was like a little bit fast and a little bit slow When they where showing part of the spiderweb, I almost got a headache and I had to close my eyes because the editing in that was so horrible

[@onemaddad3823]

“Stupid? Yes. Idiotic? Yes.” Love your reviews bro. Doin the Lord’s work.

[@pajeetsingh]

Poor Dakota. She is mislead.

[@gbrcards2469]

The news paper the same day with the missing girls is wild 😂😂😂 Not to mention absolutely zero damage to the ambulance 🚑 wow wow

[@clydefrog203]

How does this get made? and they are utterly relentless with shoving this female franchise adaptations down our throats

[@satnav1980]

Your voice suits these reviews so well.

[@comyxcon4gaming860]

So, by them showing that random guy from the Spider tribe saving her, the movie implies that he's Spider-Man's ancestor? Wow, such a shitty ass way to cobble up an alternate origin for Spidey that makes absolutely NO FUCKING SENSE!!! Damn, I'm so glad this movie is a flop. Sony fucking deserves it!!

[@hoodboylem83]

I blame Reaper for my family not wanting me to join in on movie night

[@tomr.5321]

The Lazlo Cravensworth "It was a POS" is never going to get old.

[@schukaproallied9834]

The robot inserting the cassete always gets me =))

[@Enigma75614]

3:00 I don’t understand why product placement exists. It’s not like anyone is going to buy a Pepsi because they saw it in a movie.

[@LilyIglesias]

I'm Brazilian and i never been to Amazon. So how can she know Amazon pretty well like that? Just by traveling? Omg that's insane!

[@PaladinKrave]

That fact that grown adults read this script and actually said ok I'm going to play this role is just embarrassing

[@MarvinPowell1]

This movie could've actually worked if the entire movie was just the first 10-15 minute origin story for the Spider-Woman trio and the actual rest of the movie was them preparing to fight an actual omega-level villain. But no; that would've required talent.

[@dissect123]

0:30 no reason to insult AI like that! I reckon no AI would want to be associated with a movie like that.

[@Kangoshi_ru]

4:34 "How the f**k is he reading news paper about a train attack that just happened?" Maybe Peter Parker works for that paper? ;)

[@chrisg5219]

It is endlessly hilarious how little effort Dakota Johnson put into this performance. She so obviously doesn't want to be there

[@thebigw1231]

Fun fact: Dakota Johnson the lead actress of this film fired her agent as soon as the first trailer of the film came out.

[@leonbarry5403]

2:25 It would have the opposite effect pumping more blood circulating the venom faster.

[@Thurmanatr16]

“A piece of shit” sums it up nicely.

[@Nemesios777]

Its the age of decadence I don't expect Cinema to be an exception. Out of 100 movies only 2-3 could be good compare to 80s-90s movies

[@Jazzy96x]

I love you and your none filtered mouth pls don't stop this 😂❤ I would have your babies in a heartbeat you're hilarious and your reaction clips are the best 🫶🏼😭😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@vicvega3614]

You'd have his babies? Dam

[@fmc291]

Sony looked at Marvel and said “You thought you would have the biggest box office bomb for a Superhero movie. Amateurs”

[@TotallySearch]

Warner Bros: "Batgirl is so terrible, we can't release this. Let's just cancel it and write it as a tax reduction." Sony: "Madam Web is so terrible, let's release this. It'll still be an addition to the venom verse and hype up Kraven."

[@Luke101]

Imagine owning the rights to the SPIDER-MAN universe and almost exclusively making garbage pointless movies. It’s been 6 years of these Sony spin offs and not one film has been good or connected to Spider-Man in any way. The way they tip toe around mentioning him when they fucking own him is so weird

[@lucaliliahidas5738]

Only reason I still remember this movie is this hilarious review

[@DanteCrowlley]

They are already hoping to make a sequel based on approvement 💀

[@nickdirienzo2849]

A woman definitely wrote this shit. Because it makes zero sense, and everything needs to be handed to the characters by some higher power or dumb luck for anything to happen...

[@Hepheat75]

Honestly, I didn't even realize that this film existed.

[@WifeWantsAWizard]

"Super Karen". Ha!

[@melvinl9993]

Reaper, your commentary is fucking gold. Keep at it!

[@finthevoiceactor]

Ladies and Gentlemen, Colonel PT Chester Whitmore is proud to present Bung Vulchungo and the Zimbabwe Songbirds! Do you see banana man Hopping over on the white-hot sand Here he come with some for me Freshly taken from banana tree (one, two, three, four) Banana man, me want a ton Gimme double and a bonus one Gimme more for all me friends This banana flow will never end Do you want a banana? Peel it down and go, mm-mm-mm-mm Do you want a banana? This banana for you Tonight, we dance around the flame Then we get to play spirit game Spirit names, we shout out loud Shake the thunder from the spirit cloud All the songbirds in the tree Chant a tune to let the spirits free Then we see them in the night Spirits jumping by fire light Do you want a banana? (Do you want a banana?) Peel it down and go, mm-mm-mm-mm Do you want a banana? (Do you want a banana?) This banana for you Look you, you too uptight, you know You could laugh and kick it back and go (wee!) But without a rhythm or a rhyme You do not banana all the time Fly away from city on the run Try to make a little fun Look you, come to the bungalow African't you tell me told you so Don't you love the bumping of the drum? Make you shake until the bum go numb Let de bongo play you 'til you drop This banana never stop (never stop, never stop) Forget all your troubles and go with the flow Forget about whatever you may never know Like whether whatever you are doing is whatever you should And whether anything you do is ever any good And then forget about banana when it stick in your throat And when it make you wanna bellow, but you stuck in a choke And forget about the yellow from the beckoning man Who make you take another one and make a mock of your plan Bungalay, bungalow Make up your mind and tell me no (Shh) Well, it's nine o'clock, and it's getting dark And the sun is falling from the sky I've never left so early, and you may wonder why Tomorrow morning on the plane No banana make you go insane Floating back to busy town No banana make you want to frown Do you want a banana? (Do you want a banana) Peel it down and go, mm-mm-mm-mm Do you want a banana? This banana for... you

[@aoibhg1211]

Sony saw what Disney was doing and said: I want to be broke and hated by everyone...

[@t-man2612]

The gif adlibs are freaking perfect 👌

[@Paul-uv9dx]

Madame Web made Morbius look like Citizen Kane.

[@JWProductions2023]

This is why I have not seen it yet and thank God I haven't seen it. The movie doesn't need to exist but I guess a sequel will most likely happen

[@PassanCat]

This is one of the BEST comedies ever if you leave your brain on! I recommend EVERYONE to watch this! Obviously not spending money on it, but there are other means.

[@silverhawk24]

You know what, you brought up a good point, how on God's green earth did the news already get word of the train attack that occurred on the same fucking day? Unless these guys can see into the future, I don't see that shit happening, let alone making sense. Seriously though, I forgot this movie was even being made

[@IAmTheWizardOfWor]

This movie was created by Shite GPT - the janky Chinese knock-off AI.

[@silverhawk24]

@@IAmTheWizardOfWor that makes sense

[@Awakened_Mucacha]

...How does the station or the police even place the blame for the officers' deaths on Cassie??? She doesn't even come in contact with them footage would clearly show that and the weird dude in a costume manhandling them. Like...what???

[@petriew2018]

The professional paramedic tries to teach a bunch of amateurs CPR on the fly in case they get injected with poison. CPR is meant to maintain blood flow to the brain and vital organs. Venom injected into the blood stream is only effective if it reaches, for instance, the brain or vital organs. .... guess what the worst possible idea for treating a poison injection is? And, again, this is the idea of someone who not only has professional training, but as part of her specific job training would have been instructed on how to deal with things like bites by poisonous animals. please don't insult A.I., movies of this caliber require uniquely human stupidity to fail this badly at every possible level.

[@spankyjeffro5320]

Animals are venomous. Venom. It's in the name.

[@DgardsGaming]

I always wanted Madame Web in a Spider Man movie but not this and I wanted the OG to appear to Peter Parker and have peter have to stop a inter dimenional threat.

[@JoeOvercoat]

I’ve been trying to figure out the scene where the bad guy gets hit by the airborne ambulance and I can only explain it the way you did, but I just couldn’t believe it until I heard you say it.

[@beardedwalrus9955]

5:46 "This would take weeks to get through" My guy that would take lifetimes to get through.

[@bunnyfreakz]

04:27 those day , somehow people still reading newspaper.

[@Jezza_One]

Just love your accent its perfect for trashing a movie.

[@A_YouTube_Commenter]

Charlie's Spider Angels.

[@ThePsychoAnon]

Lmao they didn’t even make the gun slide move, they just did walking dead tier muzzle flashes. This movie was made for money laundering 😂

[@rennmaxbeta]

The Liar Liar clip made me lol 😆

[@sassycatthill1495]

Well on one of the Instagram posts that I saw a couple days ago, Sony is thinking about making Madame Webb number 2 which I don’t want that to happen because this movie for this one looks so horrible and hopefully they don’t do a sequel. If they do a sequel I’m done so I’m crossing my fingers they don’t do a sequel because who knows those movies may be bad also just like this one

[@CathTish]

My personal headcanon for this film is that it's all in Eziekeal's head i.e., clairvoyance, and none of this actually happened.