PRIVACY is POWER: how to STOP oversharing and move in SILENCE

Privacy is the key to happiness and success. When you regain control over your narrative and information, what people see is what you allow them to see. Not every friend is a true “friend”, some are surveillance cameras and data harvesters. Learn how to stop oversharing, set boundaries, and vent only to the right people.
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chapters:
0:00 - intro
2:28 - my story
4:33 - data harvesters
7:46 - prioritize a personal life
10:58 - overexplaining
14:47 - venting
19:05 - boundaries
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tags: stop oversharing, privacy is protection, compulsive oversharing, stop oversharing, compulsive thoughts, over revealing, stop revealing, be more mysterious, live a happier life, obsessive thoughts, attachment, how to be detached, stop being a people pleaser, guard my information, protect my information, build in silence, handle betrayal, build trust, self-improvement, stop being vulnerable, become more secure, stop being insecure, control your narrative

[@ecelish]

OH MY GOD i struggle with this a LOT. i always come back home regretting how i overshared and it literally eats me up inside

[@riyasingh681]

literally same.. i overshare, overexplain, overthink.. and then regret so much later on.. my mind is always so chaotic and messed up because of this, it really does eat me up inside all the time !!

[@Iquey]

Get a pack of gum and when you feel the urge to overshare, reach for the gum to keep your mouth busy!!

[@BA-ph2yq]

Tbh get rid of the friends that make you feel that way or spend less time with them. I have been having the same feeling (though now to a lesser degree) with two of my friends and I realized that the reason why I'm talking so much about myself with them is because they never say anything about themselves. Three things I realized after I became more aware: 1) even if I ask them direct questions about their life they never give direct answers 2) when I'm talking they are listening very attentively in a weird, non-compassionate way like they are keeping tabs and they remember very odd things about me (like one doesn't even remember my birthday but she remembers the amount of money I got for a gig years ago) 3) Good things that happen in their life are always last minute, sudden, a surprise, they never know, or they forget. Signs like these mean they know all about keeping quiet and choose you as a victim/energy source. Real friends or people who have your best interest won't make you feel that way. I'd say don't hang out with people who are socially or financially beneath you. The same applies to any type of work friends

[@ositoguy]

Same 🙈 we have to learn once and for all

[@REALLYRANDOMREVIEW5]

I did this then assessed why i did it and i believe it's a selfish trait from within to try and show another how well were doing even if were not ... Kind of like a make up to women (no offence girls) but its to hide our inner fears a mask so to speak you need to think deeply in isolation to eliminate this trait it's just from social engineering i think... good luck

[@roraundercover]

0:55 “If people gossip with you, they will gossip about you.” This is so true. My ex-bsf used to gossip about others to me all the time-about family, and even some of our mutual friends. I thought they were just small complaints that people have from time to time, and that our friendship was stronger than that, But, after me and our mutual friends cut them off, we learned that they talked badly about all of us behind our backs. We had shared everything with my ex-bsf. It was a lesson to not share yourselves life with someone if they show even any slight red flags.

[@MaffyTaffyHaffy]

I literally know this about one of my good friends. I kind of stopped myself from saying best friend because she has a very loose lips and always talks about her other friends so I know for certain she talks about me. I know people talking and you can’t control it but I’m also not blind and know how people work

[@kennethrosario6706]

Same happened to me

[@disgruntledasian]

I once asked my ex best friend “well u gossip about other people, do you talk about me” and she looked SHOCKED and was like “wellll you’re my BEST friend, so I talk about others to you, but not about you to others”. Big surprise she was lying and I wasted 9 out of 21 of my living years to be her bff cuz she gaslit me about everything and i was too naive to cut her off or stop believing her lies✌️

[@disgruntledasian]

@@MaffyTaffyHaffy​​⁠​​⁠with love, they most certainly can control it. It’s a choice not to gossip + spread possibly false information. As a very opinionated person, I choose not to speak poorly about people everyday. Even as a literal child, when I spoke about others, I made a conscious choice to do it in a fair, truthful, and respectful way (not spreading misinfo, no twisting the truth, being honest if I didn’t know details, etc). Unfortunately that is an excuse your friend is making (I feel that, as my ex bff constantly made excuses for her poor choices and character). I’m not sure how old either of u are, but I hope she matures/gains self security, and I hope you find better friends❤

[@usubenidango]

In my case, I've always been quiet, so people in school told me "you're so mysterious" so I thought I was wrong in being quiet and that I should start talking more, but this video helped me realize I was right in not oversharing from the beggining.

[@user-sg4ov7ng4h]

literally me. i don't talk more tho lol, the thing is they think being mysterious is cool for someone, but then they see the sides effect and they don't enjoy it as much. (don't share about your life much, troubles with communication etc) like I get people like it but for me it's more of a struggle

[@likeadiamondshiningintherough]

I was like that back in school but not cool or mysterious, people just thought I was weird, but I obviously didn't care and now that I'm grown I'm glad I went through that when everyone else was gossiping and oversharing

[@huggingMonster]

The data harvester and person who wants to take you secretly down is my coworker I have to deal the most with. Nobody likes to talk when she is around.

[@katelincoyle1204]

What you said about being careful who you take advice from, and making sure they're in a healthy relationship before you take relationship advice from them is so important! I once was told to only take advice from someone who has the results I want in whatever category they're offering, and that's the best advice I've ever gotten!

[@sinenkaari5477]

Your realness offends fake people

[@scentsoftravelmeditation]

So I will be more real then 😹

[@spidermuffin1596]

My ADHD curse with oversharing

[@Mysterious_Moon]

My fiancé is the same. Classic ADHD or even autism trait. I’m the total opposite. It’s sort of hilarious.

[@spidermuffin1596]

@@Mysterious_Moon we just love sharing with the people we love 😭🤣🖤

[@JohnWick-uq1su]

Same!

[@singingwithbecca]

Same... having ADHD is NOT fun

[@Abigail-hr5jg]

Literally same

[@baddiesubs9]

WAKE UP the high priestess has POSTED 🎉🎉🎉

[@al3xj]

As a creative, I like it - creations are precious in the beginning, like a new seedling growing. I'm not concerned about the negative speak or criticism, but she's right, somehow the energy of others can ruin these seedlings early on - once they are ready share away and get feedback. That helps and improves. Early on, agree 100% keep it private

[@shrimpcrackers2415]

Yeah I've only started paying attention to this too, especially sharing your work on social media. You never know who might be watching you closely there ready to copy- whether intentionally or not- whatever you're doing.

[@JJK-he1xn]

If you don’t share anything and they assume a perceived weakness, you’re already in the wrong crowd. Just don’t fall for baited arguments and leave. I promise you life gets way better.

[@Cookiedesigns254]

Omg yesss!!! I had a coworker who would try so hard to assume something about me to get me to open up but I never did 😼 He was a gossiper and I knew that’s a huge red flag in my book.

[@krysthelmae]

the timing of this video is craaaaazy

[@THEHOURISRIPE]

I finally got a grip on this. Journaling , making a video to yourself have sufficed, it’s helped me trust myself to wait and receive my own “ solutions” and helped me to build discernment in conversations, have patience and grace with yourself. I think over sharing can be rooted in lack of trust in self and wanting some type of relief or result instead of sitting with something

[@LovisaSvensson-iw7wc]

A coworker didn't like something I was doing that was technically not to code, but was how I was taught to do it. Instead of hearing me out about it she immediately went and told my manager. I also noticed that she likes to talk about what a rough time other people are going through and just in general infantilizing both herself and other people. Needless to say I stopped saying ANYTHING to her and made sure she saw as little as possible of my work from then on! The worst part is that she isn't even a schemer. She seems to believe that this is acceptable behaviour. She treats our manager like a teacher at school or some kind of saint that will be understanding and that her behaviour won't cause career damage to her coworkers.

[@letsdomath1750]

8:48 Oh, that's so true. Some people just like to argue and minimize the challenges you have overcome because they simply can't put themselves in your shoes. That is very draining, but it's good to suss those people out and make a mental note to keep them at arms length. Initially, only share something you overcame a long time ago, and if they are super judgy, it won't affect you, but now you know how trifling they are and can skip their monologues and gaslighting from then on.

[@BuizelCream]

Here's my bigger perspective question: How do we combine the advice of stopping oversharing (so your narrative and information is controlled by you) with the wisdom of authenticity of not caring about how people think of you? I guess I wanna point out this more holistic concern that at the end of the day applying this advice doesn't become about fearing for your own reputation and your survival, rather than being truly motivated by your own self-love that you genuinely love to live a private life and being that way (but in a way that your fear isn't masked by this pretense of self-love, deceiving yourself that you're loving yourself but in reality you're being fearful of the world).

[@kr4382]

care for yourself by stopping the caring if other people understand you. there is no validation in that.if you think there is, that is not healthy. validate yourself. others need to earn your information and your time.

[@newnewmee44]

very good advice. Anything we say can and will be used against us.

[@Cookiedesigns254]

Yup I come from a family full of gossipers so I took gossiping as normal behavior from others. But the truth is gossiping and even “venting” about other people is not normal. It’s toxic because they usually gossip/vent about people they maintain relationships with they resent or have contempt for. And it’s so true if they gossip with you 10/10 they’re gossiping about you too! As of lately I never tell people who gossip anything about me or seek to be close with them. Gossiping is not a form of connection. The easiest way to spot out fake people is whether they gossip!

[@101ooki]

Thank you so much for this, I’m autistic and have a trait with infodumping to people. Especially trauma dumping to people I wasn’t really close to. While it was fun it made me prone to being bullied, people used things against me, etc. I’m learning now to keep certain things to myself and I still am but I feel better about it nowadays, I feel like I can be at peace.

[@iismeen]

finding out about your channel is power! keep goin queen

[@kathleenkaleookalanismith8724]

For me, I honestly feel happiest when I give people what will inspire them but also remain in my boundaries. This is definitely some kind of unique path to take in life but I personally find it the truest to me and the most deeply satisfying ❤❤❤

[@Jakepf]

Mae your video popped up at like the perfectly timed moment 😵‍💫 where I'm totally over sharing with new people. Especially persons I'm romantically interested in.

[@theeKaleeful]

I was literally just telling myself that I need to stop oversharing. Definitely needed this video today hahaha

[@JnPie]

Always remember you don't have enemies it's all in your head there's only people

[@dllaalex635]

My mom is a oversharer gossipper and I still live with her so it gets hard sometimes 😭😭😭

[@p6rplemoon0613]

I stopped oversharing over a year ago and it was the best decision :)

[@wappieforlife5490]

Stop thinking your important is also a good one

[@stargirl78636]

mother posted at devine timing

[@user-gf9fg3ze8i]

When i saw the title i thought, ooo yehhhs. Thank you girl. I love your very helpful videos😊

[@andyvarella6336]

Lots of gold nuggets in this video Mae. Thanks for taking the time to share your thoughts. No complaining, no explaining.

[@ShopwithAnny-nv1yv]

Needed this Thank you soooooooo much.

[@therealrawrachael]

So much of this was gold. Thank you for the reminder. ❤

[@12137Marth]

Omg I was thinking about this yesterday and trying to remember which video you mentioned it before. Thanks!

[@jesskween]

Hi girl u look so pretty. Love your videos they're so inspiring

[@trulyb9872]

Omg I’m shook right now!!!!!! I’m hearing this 4 years to late! So so so soooooooooooo blessed to have this channel in my life I’m learning so much from you my queen thank you for your golden knowledge ❤❤❤❤

[@GoddesssFrequency]

I’m a cancer sun too babes and my oversharing end NOW …. Today ….thank you ❤❤❤

[@Dilliepop]

I being genuine with the people you meet is very powerful, and if your friends end up gossiping about you end excommunicating you from a group, they are people who shouldn't be your friend anyway. I'm very close with my friends, and I don't gossip about people to ANYONE, that's just not how I would like to give myself to this world and is not the energy I would like returned to me in my life. And I would rather be surrounded by people who are like me than trying to be mysterious. I firmly believe that similar energies attract in this world. And your friends, your loved ones, and people you invite into your life, are the people who create your reality. Don't settle for friends if you think you have to worry about them gossiping about you all the time.

[@Jakepf]

5:01 sure, but I also have an incredibly strong craving to share hahaha. Like I feel like the strongest thing someone can do is be vulnerable without giving a FUCK about what people think or say about you. Like what's the point in obsessing about what someone or other people care or think about you. Be yourself unapologetically. But idk, this was just a thought that popped in my head.

[@aisnow5788]

I think there is a balance. You May not care what people think of you but they could do things to harm you.

[@abs6272]

thats so true about if someone wants to know something they will ask, whether it be your day or an explanation. I am not autistic but if someone doesn't specifically ask for my opinion or explanation I'm usually going to give them an answer that's short and sweet. I've also seen people ramble on about a point and I just question are they trying to convince me or themselves

[@dabass438]

Thanks--I need this!

[@sydneysabre]

I just started 48 laws of power, really enjoying most of it. Inspiring video as always!

[@StellaParuolo]

This is what I needed to hear! Thank you!

[@saddazed]

"when you stay private, you don't owe anyone any kind of explanation. you start putting yourself and your own happiness first." thank you so much. i really needed this. after i graduated, i started avoiding myself from my university friends as they are always intrigued what i am doing now. however, i feel uncomfortable with sharing anything about my life.

[@Lemon-rk9hq]

I agree I don’t like sharing with people much anymore the last year it ain’t worth it had to learn but it’s what its most people don’t deserve to see you vulnerable side they have to consistently prove to you that they are trust worthy

[@raulalbertotorresbahena3753]

Hi Mae, I love your videos so much

[@xxaavviieerrrrr]

Perfect topic!!

[@nobody-c33s]

I just found your video, and it truly has shaken me with good information.

[@aravindhravi2307]

Glad I heard her out !! Without judging her

[@afridajahan2004]

What an amazing video!! Thank you love ❤

[@sosaskates4906]

Great video ❤ this video is for everyone

[@natalieleite3419]

Mae, thank you so much for your content! It really does heal me in so many ways ❤

[@likeadiamondshiningintherough]

I love the 48 Laws of Power! It's available for free online as an audiobook too.

[@juzreelalcala]

Hi Sister, this video showed up at the right time. This is a reminder to keep my mouth shut when completely necessary!

[@roseinthemix9439]

Thank you so much for this!

[@rickc.ferreira6948]

I miss having alone time. I keep getting bothered. So far the video has been good.

[@TheCherokeeKidd]

Wise words from a young lady!

[@lavenderhoney777]

Thank you ❤

[@Drifter.Dreams]

I'm convinced that a lot of people out here projecting the evil eye onto others aren't even aware that they're doing it. A great deal of unconscious subterfuge going on in this world. Don't hate the blind, just open your eyes to them. 💕

[@Mooncake_art]

I decided to go off the radar a month ago, and I think it was the best thing I did. I had so many realization and I saw things more clearly. The thing is all the negative vibes built up when I met my 'bff' a year ago. Normally, when I'm trying to recover I would rationalise on all the bad decisions I did, but everytime I do I keep thinking about my bff and strangely, I always feel nauseous.. It was really weird but now we're in contact again that feeling went away.. I don't know what to do, I want to live my life by saving my energy for the things I want to do, but they're somehow forcing me out of my shell.

[@IAmCatElf]

This is soooo my problem I can’t wait to watch!

[@ositoguy]

Thank you! I needed this advance 🙈❤️❤️❤️

[@sincerelypauline]

NO WAY THATS CREAZY. I watched a video a few days ago where you said your goal is 100.000. subs, you had 83.000 then. NOW YOU HAVE 98.100????? You totally deserve it, in a few months i will say I was here before the million. Please keep up the great content queen!

[@Libare]

I learned the hard way! Thank you for spreading awareness!

[@uzma_shaikh_]

NEXT VIDEO: how to set boundaries with yourself and others

[@mlem7104]

you do NOT miss 🙌

[@user-iv2xf6wm2q]

the evil eye is definitely real

[@ThefutureselfLah]

Congratulations on 100k babe!❤❤❤❤

[@stanleyshultz6696]

Truth is words of wisdom you sharing and giving is priceless Thank you for your time and energy and insight

[@chicoyajackson329]

From one cancer sun to another omg thank you so much

[@Mk3lgt]

True thank you ❤️

[@JJ-xd9wb]

Thank you for the good information ❤

[@Bossplayerbyrd]

truth! great video!

[@Mysterious_Moon]

You’ve got some stronggggg Pluto or Scorpio going on. I vibe with that and this message ❤

[@barnahardwick5722]

You Rock.........Your Light is kind is supportive ...kind.....and intelligent

[@Sushhhiiiiiii]

I love your channel ! Glad I subscribed. Your information is very useful and I truly adore your looks and how you explain things, thanks 😊

[@mayapiata5672]

Thanks Mae, I really love & appreciate this video:) I like to watch your videos while I workout because I feel like I concentrate and absorb the information & advice that you’re sharing better. I needed this video last week! before I blabbed (againnn) to everyone about me & bfs fight :( they’re def done hearing about it, & I understand bc I do go back & work it out… but this is forcing me to be more private & slow to emotionally vomit… I really miss talking to my therapist, but don’t have insurance to cover therapy rn.. your videos reeeally help!

[@ludgyyiir7714]

Trust me,if i'm subscribed it means you are special and you will be great on that thing and what comes to you on the future.congratulations.

[@tomsojer7524]

girl i love you

[@sashacruz2334]

than you for sharing this video. i needed these reminders/ advice. gotta clean up my ig i been wayyy too vulnerable lately

[@Glaccierztk]

I like your style it’s cool

[@blueyhours]

I am a cancer sun too and im so vulnerable that I overshare every single lil thing that frustrates me (by posting it via social media and such) it was really humiliating for me and this summer had been really healing and I've been reflecting on my past, I'm more private these days and i deleted my social media

[@fireonhair]

Only share your success thats it

[@Fairycore_LuvrXcX]

you are so wise fr

[@ellieveitte_subliminals]

omg this is good

[@VybnWithAmellehn]

Really good information. Thought I was crazy for thinking like this, but this video is reassuring!

[@fernandom.6534]

Thank you very much! I tend to not share my secrets with people. I used to wonder if this was wrong but now I know that it isn't :)

[@ChildofGod98765]

So true. I share my testimony to ppl and get so much hate. Please pray for me and my children. As a single mother things are overwhelming on me. I’m constantly struggling to support my children. The devil has sent people to attack me. I get harassed and called names for simply asking for prayers, but prayers are all I need. God gives me strength to keep going while I struggle to buy groceries and while I struggle to pay rent. Thank you Lord Jesus. 💕❤️

[@thelovedevil]

thank you. i overshare out of a desire to be perceived Machiavellian. i was about to do it again. i've learned the hard way the value of privacy, that makes it all the more powerful of a tool... you learn a lot from w

[@sumbodyshero]

I LOVE Cancer Suns and Moons. Always end up forming a deep connection instantly.

[@Amy_Amy888]

Thank You❤

[@alishaw1195]

Cancer sun here too,I feel like our vulnerability is our superpower 😭but yeah I defined to dial back a bit on it

[@bouyboy100]

Great , authentic

[@sukkavore4705]

Hi!! This video is so helpful. Can you please do a video on how to set boundaries? It’s something I struggle with a lot too. Love your content queen💗!

[@ubsglobalserve1002]

Cancerians - The world weaponizes our vulnerabilities. Metamorph!

[@TishTisha-yx6tg]

You are right, it happened to me in the worst way with the people I thought I could trust with my life, my sisters. I have an older and younger sister that have always secretly wished me harm. They have never been happy for me and it's taken me a life time to find out the truth. I walked in on witch craft practices against me in my own house when I was supporting them. Strangers are kinder

[@lindapostema8867]

Oh wow, didn't expect her to be Cancer ! Now it all make sense to me why I relate so much to her videos ! I'm a Cancer too ❤ 14 July ❤

[@fujiokakujo]

Yeah i dont wanna keep oversharing my plans to my friends anymore, now im working on my own ❤❤

[@JennWatson]

New sub here I'm so glad I found you I need this !!!!! ❤

[@likeadiamondshiningintherough]

Basically trust no one lol. Lana Del Rey has this tattooed on her hand and I also live by it. People steal your energy and use it to bring you down. Example you lose weight and instead of being happy for you, they gossip about how you must have an eating disorder. Even my own mum and sister hurt me a lot in the past by gossiping. This video is exactly 💯 on point.

[@ubsglobalserve1002]

Her voice. Yum! Cancer here also.

[@LordSure37]

Hey ...I'm a Cancer too great video Mae 😊