Why successful men are jerks: no one wants to do the laundry

[@psychacks]

Why is it the case that success and selfishness so often seem to go together in men? The answer is simple: men don't really want to romance women. When they are unable to provide the lifestyle and provision for which women typically select, men adopt romantic consideration as a kind of virtuous necessity in the service of their goals. However, once they become successful, they believe that they should be able to dispense with the courtship drudgery they never wanted to do in the first place. This is why successful men are jerks. Buy my book, "The Value of Others" Ebook: amzn.to/460uGrA Audiobook: amzn.to/3YfFwbx Paperback: amzn.to/3xQuIFK Book a paid consultation: oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Subscribe to my newsletter: oriontarabanpsyd.com Social Media TikTok: www.tiktok.com/@oriontaraban Facebook: facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: kzbin.info/www/bejne/jaO7c62HZ613e7M Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: kzbin.info/door/SduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXwjoin Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #dating #men

[@B.R.Thorn11.11]

@@psychacks this also applies in social structures between men. History shows a true account of power being held by the ruthless, heartless and cruel. This brings to question your intrinsic value and motivation rehashing the term successful takes in new meaning and fortunately separates the two constructs. Let people be shallow, capital driven arseholes and circulate in their 3D world , they are yet to ascend the peak _ a self important waste of oxygen 😱

[@monicamccready3921]

You speak as if most women are looking for someone else to pay their way in the world. How twisted is that?! Dating someone successful is for when you are successful yourself. Otherwise, the relationship can never be equal.

[@TheWhiteLily44]

This may be the exception over the rule, but a lot of women have their own money now and expect more than money. I also heard an anthropologist predict humans are turning into peacocks. The male will be expected to be the good looking one in the future, again due to women having more money. It will be interesting.

[@Byorin]

@@monicamccready3921 Lmao, we can’t even get most women to be Ok with going 50-50 on dates, plus there are countless interviews online of women saying they aren’t interested in men who can’t help them pay their bills. They’re not looking to be anybody’s Sugar Momma. If you do find a woman paying for men and not the other way around, then she was already committed to him in some way or she is the exception to the rule.

[@monicamccready3921]

@@Byorin In my experience, women I have known are looking for an equal partner, not someone to pay their bills. Autonomy, self respect, these are important for men and women alike. Even though paying your way in the world can be challenging at times, that is how we become self actualized adults, no getting around it. Friends, partners, and family can help when needed, but nobody wants a parasite.

[@YellowToucan]

Think about it in reverse. Do you know a very attractive woman who jumps to cook, clean, or do your laundry men? Of course you don't. The more attractive a woman is the less likely she'll do those things. The same with men. The more successful a man is, the less he's likely to cater to her whims/desires. "Why successful men are jerks and attractive women are boring/lifeless/nuts" - because they can afford to be.

[@terraflow__bryanburdo4547]

Add on that or triggers more attraction, so win-win

[@nosotrosloslobosestamosreg4115]

This comment deserves more likes than the video itself.

[@mjaybee]

This is why American society is a failed society

[@dontreadmyname4396]

because both are overwhelmed by options and people chasing, the last thing they want to do is do anything to increase those annoying numbers, so they act like jerks

[@allie9462]

That’s where you’re wrong. Women are nurturers and more loyal than men. Women actually get so much pleasure from taking care of their man by cooking for him, cleaning for him etc. it’s an innate desire to make sure your man is cared for to face the big bad world

[@SpencerCornelia]

this is the kind of sociology that needs to be taught to young men in schools

[@chrisandrews8819]

@@SpencerCornelia Not gonna happen. There are 10s of millions of people and hundreds of businesses and institutions, even entire governments which benefit from most men remaining romantic, betatized, naive, easy to control.

[@Hdhfhhdh]

I think it should thought to boys by their fathers. I’m going to be a father soon. I’m planing to teach these things to my son when during his teenage years

[@sal2975]

​@@HdhfhhdhWhy not both? Because many don't have fathers.

[@wishourselvesaway]

@sal2975 too much non-academic material has already invaded the curriculum. It doesn't need any more stuff. I also wouldn't trust it to be taught effectively by female teachers.

[@ጽጽ]

@@SpencerCornelia with the amount of things I've seen people say they should be taught in school, these kids might as well stay at the school & never come home coz of the sheer amount of learning material lol

[@jakejakobz]

Women like flowers but reallyyyy like not paying rent had me rolling on the floor.

[@marcusmcgraw3519]

Ok so why do they get a free pass, but I have to work? Stop giving them value they never earned

[@philipehusani]

​@@marcusmcgraw3519 So get more than one... Don't equate yourself to any one woman. None of them can ever be compared to you.

[@marcusmcgraw3519]

@@philipehusani that’s one of the weirdest takeaways I can see from this. My point is that why should women get to get out of paying rent, but I should have to work for all my value? You guys cannot stop showing how desperate you are for a woman, and that is the real problem

[@huko4266]

And them bending over for another round 😅

[@philipehusani]

@@marcusmcgraw3519 Lol... Desperate for women? You're the one talking about giving them value they never earned and all I'm saying is if you believe she hasn't earned your value, you can give that value to multiple women, thereby making the value you're giving to every individual woman less, well, valuable. Basic economics. If you want one then give that value to the one that earns it... Slowly but surely drop the ones that bring no value, until you get to the one that brings the most value.

[@ryanh9388]

Prior to my 30’s I was just an average nobody, in my mid-30’s I sold my start-up. In many ways my life had improved dramatically but I think of your interview on Soft White Underbelly “I wish I was not an astronomer when the stars come out,” in how I view women. From my perspective you see through all of the talk and realize what they truly are. They’re not evil, malicious, or malevolent; they’re just functionally children in adult bodies.

[@mjaybee]

The best way to view them. They are what they are.

[@ryanh9388]

@@mjaybee exactly! You can get upset or you can just understand what you are dealing with and move on accordingly.

[@allie9462]

Actually it’s men that are child like and blow up their whole life, family and career by following around their penis. So many men risk everything for something as dumb as a sext, etc

Next step is realizing this is true for men as well 🤷

[@baffinsansterre]

Kudos to reach the finish line & be RPA.

[@chrisandrews8819]

The irony with flowers is that they're only truly well received if she's already so attracted to you that you needn't have bothered. Otherwise they just come off as try hard/ supplicating.

[@bioshin]

This is important because it's genuine attraction what makes the difference and he said it in his previous video: "it's creepy depending on who it's doing it because it's not when she's attracted to him but with someone else is". He has a huge point in this video but it's also somewhat flawed, see, beautiful women with a difficult background and rough childhood are MORE LIKELY to seek money and they'll become extremely attractive to become trophy wives to be picked by extremely resourceful men, they end up cheating on them and they also rip out all their money in the divorce depending on the situation, literally becoming a simp who's unable to do something else's than throwing money at her but, middle class up women with higher education and resources will never cater to this type of men, they cater to "higher value" men, "value" meaning attractiveness, intelligence and efficiency. In my point of view he needs to start separating what could be a generalized advice from certain point of view since it's more complicated than that.

[@michaelgarrow3239]

Hot women get flowers by the bushel… it means nothing to them.

[@chrisandrews8819]

@@bioshin It's useful and often predictive to meet a woman's mother. You can get a better sense of how she'll turn out, her values, habits, default behavior etc. Esp if she's neurotic, and very materialistic

[@bioshin]

@@chrisandrews8819 Agree, a lot of women who are raised in wealthy "conservative" families also come from this type of backgrounds: Beautiful and hot women from a really poor family meets the rich and wealthy guy from high upper class family, fall in love and have daughters that could be alienated to some extent by her mother's trauma and wounds and her father's family culture creating a huge dissonance. There's exceptions but pretty much that type of mothers that end up being BPD weaponize their daughters in too many ways. Add a grandiose narcissistic father due to his level of income and it's a recipe to a really traumatized childhood.

[@Bookooky]

@@michaelgarrow3239 It means u are disqualified if no flowers by date 3 actually. Speaking as an attractive woman.

[@5minutes106]

Love this channel because of the delivery. No redpill rage, no off topic rambling, no lambo in the background, just a perspective that makes sense if you're willing to listen delivered in less than 10 minutes.

[@M0viLover]

"no lambo in the background .." So.. you're familiar with Fresh & Fit / Fresh, aka Walter Weekes..

[@AmazingRebel23]

I hate the idea that a man needs a halfway broken expensive car to be successful. I have 6 broken scooters and I can ride them all while drunk while the steering spins around at random, where’s my medal?

[@ragnapraxis4657]

@@AmazingRebel23 - you sound bitter :(

[@josealexi5141]

@@M0viLover Yes, F&F but also 33 secrets or Rich Cooper. If you need a CAR to attract a woman, you've failed so hard!!

[@ronmexico5908]

It’s amazing the amount of lying that goes on in society to keep it moving. If you figure it out you’ll be surrounded by few people

[@CarlWithACamera]

And you’ll be happier.

[@sircefiro]

Too true man

[@MarioMario-vy4bi]

It’s hard to know what is a lie and what isn’t

[@thehuntress8850]

Ya most humans can't always handle the truth.

[@Yggdrasill8]

@@thehuntress8850 most humans are just doomed to perish

[@Spider2083]

This man is saying the quiet part out loud. He is speaking the good word!

[@TheONE10X]

I was a lifelong romantic and have been what many would consider successful throughout the years. I no longer romance women, however, because it only opened me up to exploitation and abuse. Very little reciprocation as well. Additionally, most women seem to prefer the asshole anyway, and would often misinterpret my soft side as weakness. This way, by not caring too much about what women think, everyone gets what they want.

[@peripheralparadox4218]

Yes, being romantic has the risk of fucking with their hypergamy. It can easily be interpreted (and often correctly so) as a form of pedestalisation. Like with most things with women - it can be a catch 22.

[@eugenerider0701]

@@peripheralparadox4218 Real, man

[@Ravenafeedsravens]

@@TheONE10X Hey! A woman here, who never dated a rich guy and I am almost 40 years old. The part you wrote about exploitation and abuse makes me sad. Whether a man or a woman, no soul deserves to be exploited and abused.

[@CeceliPS3]

​@@Ravenafeedsravensand yet most of us men are when we are romantic with out dates and girlfriends. I've seen it first hand with me and friends. You've got plenty of testimonies here in the comments and then there's the video itself...

[@ashok.vardhan.g]

@@Ravenafeedsravens and yet it has happened all the time, over many instances.

[@armorbearer9702]

It makes sense. Successful men know they are highly desirable and will leverage their position.

[@k.alvarado6237]

Being very attractive does the same thing as well as having money.

[@oftenthisawesome2485]

Facts probably worse because it’s always on you and you can’t hide it.

[@HenrySimmons1225]

No it doesn't. Stop basing people's personalities off this stuff

[@thomasdee1980]

The one thing he forgot to mention is that a lot of people (both men and women) learn the wrong lesson. If you are successful, people will put up with you being an asshole as the challenges of dealing with you are more than compensated by the benefits to them for having to deal with you. That is why a lot of famous people are massive assholes. A lot of people get this backward and see someone who is an asshole getting what they want and assume that if they replicate this behaviour (but not the success), they too will get what they want and are bitterly disappointed.

[@kidbu916]

Thank you for spelling this out for folks, I've had to say it too many times. Men online have this issue in spades with misunderstanding this.

[@MarioMario-vy4bi]

There is an epidemic of reverse causality everywhere

[@DionLYA]

I don't disagree with your point for those people with high status, but then how do you explain this case in my workplace where this asshole who isn't successful still getting what he wants? He is not a manager, just a regular employee. And he doesn't get along with many people, barely talks to anyone else other than the girls he teases. And now he is in a relationship with one of them.

[@thomasdee1980]

@DionLYA you raise an excellent point. I think for every interaction, people have a sort of cost benefit analysis. If you have an asshole, the question is whether it makes sense to stand up to them (which will be a fight) or let them have their way (which will reinforce their behaviour and make them worse in the future). I used to work in customer service and assholes always got their way as they were willing to escalate everything and the managers could not be bothered dealing with complaints. In my current role though, I work with companies and universities to carry out research projects. I have been in meetings and when known assholes' names come up as potential partners, the first question which is raised is whether anyone else could be used instead. If there is a viable alternative, they will go with them. I think thar is part of the reason why assholes seldom change as being an asshole will get you small things, but unless you are really really good, people will not only not involve you in the big things, but they won't even bother to tell you as they won't want the hassle. I think a lot of assholes have no idea on all the stuff they missed out on because people can't be arsed dealing with them

[@thomasdee1980]

@DionLYA as for the relationship, there are four options in my mind. 1. Is that he is either not an asshole to her or is an asshole to her in a way she can deal with. 2. She mistakes him being an asshole to being confident and strong. 3.Jordan Peterson said women are often attracted to disagreeable men because while she has to put up with that behaviour, no one will mess with her as they really don't want to have to deal with him so the benefits may outweigh the hassle. 4. Maybe he was the only guy who asked her out. Annoyingly, there seems to be a paradox where if you respect women you are told to leave them alone, so often the only men which approach women are the ones that don't respect them

[@debbiieesmiles]

My son is 9, but best believe Im gonna sit his ass down and make him watch all your videos when he gets older .

[@RTFLDGR]

There are MANY men content videos he should watch. WAKE UP THE BOYS to the actions of predatory women.

[@btchiaintkidding7837]

he has a half a dozen of videos on how to deal with woman during emotionally eleavted argument etc etc. these are must watch , reminder

[@georgeelder8415]

Why wait?

[@kire115]

I started my son the summer before high school started. He's a junior now and very enlightened at his age seeing the b.s. literally unfold around him in the high school hallways and classrooms. Young women just learning their power, young men bowing to their whims.

[@georgeelder8415]

@@kire115 You are wise! The truth should be given in small doses, when it can be accepted/utilized...

[@stephanewilfriededing59]

We are not jerks... We have boundaries and we enforce them. That's just the way it is.

[@DustinD-h3i]

Another KZbin guy self identifying with “we” Lool

[@wandah9468]

Im a woman, and thats right. The price for success is hard work, focus, and never, ever give up. People pleasing wont get you anywhere.

[@NavBee]

Well that boundary may make you look like jerk tho

[@IGedeAnggaNarotama]

so you don't do laundry by yourself?

[@waysofzen]

Ahh the old song & dance... called a date. Where are my flowers?? I left them back at my place... let's go get them!! 😂

[@AgroPreneurBusinessPodcast]

That's a weasel's tactic... I love it hahaha

[@walterwilkinson1499]

Said with a smirk, that's a great way to see if it was a shit test or real.

[@Spider2083]

@@waysofzen New skill unlock 😂

[@anamorphicalan]

smart

[@yangasidziya3245]

This is similar to. Guy: No girl has ever made me buss via bj before 🙄 Girl: *Naive response* I bet I can Guy: 😈

[@ryanh9388]

If you want to understand how anyone truly feels do not listen to their words but observe what they do with their feet and their wallets.

[@allie9462]

I would agree but lots of men will continue to financially support women and physically stick by her but mentally and emotionally they check out and lust for other women

[@shaolinotter]

@@allie9462 considering woman initiate 80% of divorces, that just sounds like men are better at honoring their wedding vows during the ups and downs

[@jevzi2463]

If a woman really cares about you, she will give you unlimited foot jobs

[@coolgamer2135]

Basically, there actions.

[@rahimoseni]

❤ no lie told here

[@richardfranz3180]

After following Orion for over a year, I must say, that this one has made me laugh the most.

[@BaiMengLing]

What does your wife think of him?

[@ashutoshsinghparihar545]

You are absolutely right. More and more i climb the success ladder in my field ,the less and less i have to be romantic ..

[@Cateater123]

The less i value these witches too . Only my mother is the one I value .

[@TheDetherion]

I don't have this experience. I'm very successful but I'm also humble and don't show it off. That's for safety reasons too lol, visiting Latin America has taught me not to show off wealth. So I don't get the same benefits. Also I wouldn't want to attract gold diggers anyway, doesn't matter how hot they are.

[@idkwhattonamethis8593]

Women do the same thing with not being willing to sign a prenup. They say they don't want you for your money, but refuse to sign a document saying that they don't have the right to take it from you, because that means we don't love and trust them. As if them talking out of both sides of their neck and behaving in ways that doesn't align with their stated thoughts and values isn't the thing that causes the mistrust.

[@marcusmcgraw3519]

Of course they say that. They have to make the scam look harmless, remember?

[@user-ze4cx5sn5c]

This is reach … not remotely the same. But being conditioned to get “legally married “ is akin to being conditioned to being “romantic” both are unnecessary when you remove the blindfold and chains

[@andrewcolleyproperties4211]

Profound explanation!

[@Nordic_Sky]

I'm 63 and my gorgeous wife is 31. I insisted on a very tough prenup, and she signed it. It was a dealbreaker for me and she knew she wasn't going to be able to negotiate it away.

[@CarlWithACamera]

@@Nordic_Skyshe’s Asian, no?

[@AtomicMickey]

Nah. We just become cynics as we grow old as men and don't care anymore. So when you become successful and see that suddenly they start "caring" so much, you know it's your time to play your hand. That's how it really works.

[@timothyw7663]

Who wants a fake romantic relationship? E.g., one that ISN'T based on sincere attraction and caring, (rather than convenience)? I know I wouldn't, and I actually doubt that anybody (man or woman) does. Only fake-assed, self-absorbed dopes who don't have a complete package to offer would settle for such a thing.

[@AtomicMickey]

@@timothyw7663 Yes, but even the most "pure" love from w_men doesn't pass the real money/convenience trials. That's the thing.

[@workingshlub8861]

well said..older i get less i care about sex which is ironoc because 99% of everything a man does in life is to get sex or keep access to sex...

[@AtomicMickey]

@@workingshlub8861 Yes, exactly. Once the big head is stronger than the small one, w_men attraction and most things the world offers as "important" fade away almost completely, if not absolutely.

[@AtomicMickey]

@@workingshlub8861 Exactly! Once the big head is stronger than the small one, w_n attraction and most things the world sells as 'important' fade away almost completely, if not absolutely.

[@danielj3010]

Orion is crushing it.

[@oscarreygadas]

We don't LOVE to bring flowers, but most of us do enjoy to bring them occasionaly. Men love to share their resources with others, specially when we are appreciated.

[@gregr1154]

there you go - you love being appreciated. the flowers are a means to that end. if you get flowers and she doesn't appreciate you, you won't be doing that for long

[@anjunatuna]

I agree--I've never expected flowers in my life nor have I ever gotten flowers but it sure wouldn't hurt. Hey, you could be the first guy to ever get that girl flowers---she might let you do things to her she's never let anyone do.

[@michaeljeffery7466]

​@@anjunatuna "she might let you do things to her she's never let anyone do." She let guys Fuck her in a bathroom stall because she was drunk, & it wasn't because they brought her flowers.

[@lukemacklin7557]

If it was the case that women let men who buy them flowers do things that they don’t let other men do, men would be buying women flowers

[@anjunatuna]

Well it certainly helps if the woman was considering it before the flowers....the flowers just seal the deal. Don't waste your money on flowers unless she's actually into you.

[@msfubby9372]

One thing i have learnt about relationships so far is that women do not like to do the things men love, while men do not like to do the things women love. Or i can say are not naturally inclined to do these. Therefore the trick to a long lasting relationship is for both sides to go out of their way and love the other how they want to be loved, and not how it feels comfortable

[@elainer8288]

Excellent comment.

[@workingshlub8861]

trick to any long lasting relationship is separate tv sets and bathrooms...

[@elainer8288]

​@@workingshlub8861 I agree. Having no privacy is uncomfortable. If possible, separate bedrooms and bathrooms would be great, I think. Both have their own space.

[@detoxnotdecaf]

@@msfubby9372 i totally agree. Im a woman, i like receiving flowers. And i date successful men also. They do know what i love, and i do what they love so it makes the relationship simpler and not over complicated

[@yechris2001]

​@@workingshlub8861😅😅😅

[@allahuvonaugustera7895]

"never punish people for doing what you want, all that does is demotivate further effort" Bold of you to assume they care

[@eliel14ful]

Chad is the guy that realized in his teens or 20s he can cut off the bs and go straight to the point. Mode one baby make it happen

[@Vaguetadpole]

Ain't that the truth

[@anisenkrill6179]

RIP ARC.

[@Dewane1511]

Man of the culture mentioning ARC and mode one ✊🏾

[@Clockwork.Lemon854]

I detect nothing but facts😂They think they want love but don't respond to it😂

[@chadhatter]

Nailed it!

[@GregMunro]

A perfect marriage or relationship is an illusion; there's no universal playbook for making them work. What's effective for one couple may not apply to another. Nevertheless, I've come to understand that there's always a solution to be found. Half a decade ago, my wife and I faced such trials in our marriage that divorce seemed inevitable. Yet, through perseverance and determination, we navigated through the rough waters and emerged stronger, reunited, and more resilient.

[@TrentReeves-c2k]

There is a lot of sense in what you just said and I hope mine works the same way too, we are currently separated but I cant live without her, I love her so much. wish I can get her back I can do anything to have her back, we have tried therapy amongst other things

[@GregMunro]

Its always difficult to let someone you love go, but in my case I had the help of a spiritual adviser who saved my marriage from collapsing her name is shelly renee white..

[@TrentReeves-c2k]

This is helpful, I will look her up online right now...Thanks.

[@GregMunro]

You wont regret it

[@alexanderpetrenko539]

You post the same comment under multiple videos. Who do you work for?

[@someguyusa]

If a woman respects you, then she'll add value to your life. Women respect when you're unwilling to idolize them and are willing to walk away.

[@shraddyswift8206]

Unwilling to idiolize is Lil idiotic... women want to be appreciated just like men it's basic human nature

[@SeanMcGown]

You are one of the funniest commentators on KZbin these days.

[@TheEurostyler]

As usual Orion, it's a quality post. We men know that, but you beautifully dissect it and explain it democratically. I drive my ladies mad when I bring up these subjects in a conversation, but you know what? It's the feminism 2.0 reality. I hope every male teenager tunes in and is then sorted for life. I do not buy presents (my family's strict upbringing), I do split dinner bills (unless it's her birthday) and live on my own. I show them that I have ingested my red pill and am happy with it. They came back for more. I am not there to disrespect them. I show them that I am aware of my average financial output but I keep my payments on point. Adapted my strategy and am fully conscious of it (culture+gym+travels) the rest is up to them to show appreciation or not

[@gowa1983]

"Your content is great, man, even for a 40-year-old guy from Poland. I wish I had found you 10-20 years earlier. Currently, I'm in a 10-year relationship, not married, but I still feel like something isn't quite right. What you say completely aligns with my experience in this relationship, as well as in my previous ones. You can still open my eyes more and more..."

[@lugebeatzz8747]

@@gowa1983 you've to make a choice.

[@masumi1990x]

10 lat i bez małżeństwa? Mam nadzieję, że ona przejrzy na oczy i przestanie marnować wasz czas, bo Ty wydajesz się konformistą, który rzuci ją, gdy w zasięgu wzroku pojawi się ktoś lepszy. Wstydź się. Wykorzystujesz kobietę, a potem przez takich jak Ty, kobiety twierdzą, że mężczyźni to świnie.

[@amorosogombe9650]

Bro, let me warn you, steer clear.

[@mattheweaton1420]

I think it also has to do with the fact that successful people get things done. This often requires working with others, and successful people have little tolerance for the excuses and lack of performance from others. They demand that others be highly productive and hold people accountable with no filter, which is seen as being a jerk.

[@23DanielVincent]

Even though I'm not successful yet, I'm already at this point.

[@snakegriffin4928]

Haha most men dgaf about dates and chivalry nowadays. Women have killed those

[@JaySmith-pv2mw]

Why do women date and marry jerks? Because he's HER jerk, she benefits from him being that way. Sure she would like him to be more romantic and attentive but she's not going to leave him because of that. The anecdote about the "no flowers" is one reason I've given up on relationships. It's not that all women are like that, it's that TOO many are.

[@magnacarta711]

Relations w/o romance becomes a transaction… it’s what helps make the moment memorable

[@anjunatuna]

@@magnacarta711 romance doesn't exist in the sexual marketplace though--it's all transactional. The youngest women are the hottest commodities and oldest men are the highest bidders. 🤗

[@workingshlub8861]

outside of family all relationships are transactional...

[@anjunatuna]

@@workingshlub8861 of course, but when the transaction of a long-term relationship or marriage is solely money/resources for youth/beauty, it is flawed and not sustainable. that transaction only works between a man and an escort. if you want to make a romantic relationship last, you need more glue to hold it together.

[@magnacarta711]

@@workingshlub8861 Relationships aren’t ment to be transactional. They’re ment to be reciprocal (there’s a difference). Wanting to bc you care vs wanting to in seeking a selfish gain

[@chengmunwai]

5:06 - "Ladies, so you are at the very least somewhat complicit in creating the conditions you lament" Every woman needs to listen this statement.

[@Hdhfhhdh]

Women’s logic : Make rules for the nice guys , and break their own rules for alphas

[@Bookooky]

Untrue, it's when women are already bonded its hard to break due to maternal instinct. Abusive men weaponise this loyalty against women until we decide we will never love again.

[@BohemianAndy]

It’s very true. Seen this movie many times

[@AkshayKumar-ue1fp]

How is that women’s fault? That’s how the world works.

[@DionLYA]

@@Bookooky But why they didn't choose the nice guys first? That's the point. They chose the abusive men first, get heartbroken because they thought they could change him. But if they could change him, they would never have chosen him in the first place, since that would make him a nice guy, because only nice guys will comply.

[@garymalone547]

Sigmas too bruv.

[@mazzbr]

The good old Orion. We missed this kind of video

[@RyanPatrickFlanagan]

6:47 mark - that sh!+ is laundry to men! Classic line! Love it!

[@uumlau]

"It's true that women like flowers, but they REALLY like not paying rent." Bwhahahhahahahahahahahahahah! I had to pause the video to collect myself.

[@BaiMengLing]

I often wonder what kind of woman Orion mom is, because he has a hard time thinking that some women are not prostitutes.

[@lonelytraveler541]

0:46 this made my jaw drop. "the vast majority of successful man, used to be unsuccessful"

[@shaolinotter]

doubly so if the man is a reformed nice guy. he knows that mistreating women will just compound his success

[@DmT922ha]

I am a reformed "nice guy" to semi-jerk and man has my life improved for the better in all aspects..

[@metronome7799]

For better or for worse, being nice just isn't as valued as much as being attractive or having proofs that you possess traits in the areas she cares about. If it worked we'd stay nice. Doesn't mean you have to go to the other extreme though

[@dontreadmyname4396]

@@DmT922ha can u help me out do that change? because no matter how many videos i see about the topic or im told how being the nice guy is bad and doesnt work i am naturally the nice guy and i dont seem to be able to change when i really like a woman

[@slylockfox85]

@@dontreadmyname4396 We all learn the same lessons. You can either learn the easy way or the hard way. Pain is a great motivator, but I don't recommend it.

[@BeetleOtaku]

I'm sure you guys noticed this too, that control of your emotions and laughter go hand in hand with dropping the nice guy.

[@APERSON2POINT0]

I had a frank guy friend that I friend zoned that made a comment. "You are hands down the hottest and thinnest girl wherever we go. But once you open your mouth, all crazy comes out." I wasn't offended because I know it's the truth. I feel like I can get away with it. Eventually after about a year of hanging out he said he doesn't want to spend time together because he was just trying to get laid. I absolutely love the authentic frankness. If I hid my crazy then he would of hid his inner jerk and we would of been hiring James Sexton, the divorce attorney years later as phoneys in an in authentic dreadful marriage.

[@mrmitchell4089]

That's a good relationship cause it's built on honesty. It's not romantic because romance requires lies. Good sex is as far as it goes because the man won't let anything slide. The goofy stuff or shortcomings aren't tolerated and get passed to the unknowing husband.

[@APERSON2POINT0]

@@mrmitchell4089 it's too bad that he has no value to me because he doesn't value himself. You see, I see him as a man that has no self worth because he's not playing by the rules and filing taxes for example. He lives in a van. I have two graduate degrees and grace him with my presence because of his authenticity and it is a lesson. However I am 46, never married. .. never wanted to marry and subscribe to constitutional doctrines or have children. We all have our journeys.

[@user-wz3tg8il1j]

You’re hitting your stride with this video. Excellent.

[@erp010]

It's amazing how women respond though when you do do something for them because you want to. The authenticity of the expression is felt. And that's what counts.

[@elainer8288]

I agree.

[@S5Dic09]

What a c, this won't lead to s if she's not attractive to you, so better not simp and be cold

[@Love-kc6yk]

​@@S5Dic09if all you think about in relation to women is sex, then your parents failed you and you should stop watching po.rn and touch grass.

[@dk_1973]

I like doing nice things for my girl because it makes her happy

[@BaiMengLing]

you may be the only non narcissistic guy who follow Orion

[@BossItUp911]

it's fun when they light up over something they placed zero expectation on you. it's repulsive in his example of doing 95% of the date and the person is focused on that 5% they didn't get.

[@CarlWithACamera]

Her happiness really should come from within.

[@elainer8288]

It's good to hear that! I also enjoy doing things for people I like to make them happy.

[@Raftimusprime]

"My girl"

[@untamedwildhorse]

As a mother of young men in their early 20s, I have shared Orion's videos. I use them as discussion prompts.

[@mosca4968]

I wish my mom was this cool

[@ronsimmsfan2661]

@@mosca4968 she's not cool

[@animamagna3077]

The world needs more mothers like you, ma'am

[@alex-p]

Where is their father? A female can never teach men how to be men... unless you want to turn your sons into mommy's boys...

[@alex-p]

Shouldn't be their father teaching them how to be men?

[@M0viLover]

Oh, yeah ..; I can relate to the "No flowers??" comment at 8:12. In the 2000s I was in a LTR with a Latina. One Valentine's Day I drove to her place after work. I had grabbed a solitary rose on the way there, which I presented to her. We went out to a nice restaurant (white linens; reservation required; etc.). I dropped $100 on the dinner. Back to her place. She got me a few gifts - boxer underwear, and maybe a couple of other things. She then looked at me quizzically, and asked "Where's my DOZEN roses??" I reminded her that I gave her *a* rose, earlier. She immediately got all in a huff / upset. *I told her* that if me dropping $25+ on a dozen roses was more important - instead of the restaurant we went to, I'd instead have gone to a chain restaurant for dinner. V-Day is a Hallmark (aka, not real) holiday..

[@geppiemockingbird1489]

This all very much revolves around the notion that relations are not romantic but transactional.There are relations that are not like this. I married my childhood sweethart when we were both young and broke. I am happily married to her for almost 40 years now and still enjoying every moment I can spend with her.

[@StunGib]

I was married for 38 years before my wife passed away. Her nickname for me was asshole. I agree with what you've said. I learned it the hard way, observing what she did against what she said. I hated buying flowers, but did so once in a while for Mothers day, but never when we were courting.

[@shaolinotter]

if a woman is calling you an asshole, that's agood sign that she's offering you sex. its difficult to say if they are lying or just confused when they say they want a nice guy. they arent sure themselves

[@Yggdrasill8]

@@shaolinotter We live in a joke world where everything is contradictory, for instance, it is men who want a nice girl, not the girl who wants a nice guy

[@wr1120]

I intuitively knew all this when I was 15. I wasted a lot of years listening to the bs of others that made me think I was wrong back then. Always listen to your gut instinct.

[@janiceball8431]

Getting older with more experience changes how one navigates themselves in the dating pool. You can’t change people but you can leave them behind.

[@sampagan10]

1:39 This part blew my mind. Romance is a strategy for unsuccessful men. DAMN! Brutal pill to swallow

[@rishavmehta2109]

This is one of the best videos I have ever got on my feed.

[@mariacirillo3486]

You are so right about the flowers as you become more mature and sophisticated if you're a woman you realize that the flowers and the texts can be dispensible.

[@sparshrastogi2646]

Dr Taraban, your advice has been invaluable and I have learned alot from you over the past year/2 years. Looking forward to getting your book as well. Keep up the great work sir.

[@ChelseaSmithies]

That’s a smart move! More friends on board means more fun and extra bonuses to go around. Let’s spread the word

[@omondiapiyo7225]

This still reinforces the point "What beauty is for women, wealth is for men"

[@itzablackcat]

No most women are independent and work, they just have something called standards

[@Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeow]

@@itzablackcat most?

[@advhawk6455]

Boom. Nailed it. Every young man needs to hear this.

[@JSFGuy]

It's Friday, y'all let's check it out.

[@jrtama5]

Lol woot woot!

[@JSFGuy]

@@J31 bot accounts like this one with no content? Bots don't have content.

[@Tudorgeable]

@@J31 It's no longer a theory, let's say it's been a theory for the last decade but the past few years it's been proven time and time again. The word content has lost it's meaning in my opinion, it's become newspeak for junk, slop, devoid of substance and actual 'content'.

[@dominicanfrankster]

The best way to know is to ask- who benefits from the confusion? At least we can still share information through video, although AI is getting pretty good at faking that too. I think people might engage mostly outside of the internet again, some day.

[@JSFGuy]

@@J31 I've never seen a bot account with any content.

[@rawgov]

As a fairly successful and decently attractive tall guy I have taken the time to do romantic gestures with women that I really like mostly because we had a connection where her happiness translates to mine. That's the only circumstance where I've gone above and beyond to do things that may seem meaningless to me for the sake of my partner. I'd say every man needs a woman whose happiness feels as good as his own. But yes, it's in the hands of how they respond to those gestures as to whether I continue. If I see a lack of appreciation or if I see that they start to take it for granted, I walk away.

[@MsLilflyer]

I don’t believe that successful men are inherently less romantic or less patient with women. Plenty of successful men are caring and romantic-with women who are on their same level. What they’re not as eager to do is shower romance on someone who’s also asking them to cover rent and upgrade their lifestyle. You get one or the other, but you can’t demand both!

[@Khan-rz8qi]

Bingo! And no, she doesn’t have to be on my level, just lower maintenance than most and I’ll do my part.

[@abinadabagbo1603]

Wow, that's right!

[@dionbridger5944]

Authentic romance comes out of being in love. A man will fall in love between maybe 1-3 times in his life, and the chances its mutual are small. The rest who aren't so lucky are left searching for strategies that make a transactional relationship work, and funnily enough romance isn't all that important for a transactional relationship.

[@fillupbanks7885]

Your channel is really blowing up. Thank you for all the work you do. After listening to you I realized how good I actually have it. I use to look at my wife with disgust and resentment. Now, I am appreciative. Now I'm grateful. She's not perfect. But, the qualities that she has are rare in this day and age. She's still beautiful. It was hard to see with all the attention from younger women. Thank you for opening my eyes.

[@balasaravanan500]

Thanks

[@tamiressilva-ee7kb]

Sir, you have a gift. Never stop doing this work ❤

[@cookml]

You can either understand women or respect them. You cannot do both.

[@isaiahernandez4826]

Respect is for men

[@jameswallace8202]

This may actually THE BEST VIDEO that i have ever watched that you have produced. God Bless You.

[@SydneyValette]

I think being an asshole goes far beyond not buying flowers 😂

[@peterkoch3777]

But it is a good start...😂🎉

[@obobobobobi]

0 hacks but good observation skills. Thank you sir for telling us what we already know.

[@Shamilt3]

Successful men also have realize that what women say/complain to their girl friends over is not what she responds to AND successful men also realize you (the man) are only is good as yesterdays numbers. If she is in your reality and following you, she wont care about flowers assuming youre doing everything else right. You stop being attractive and provide the security she needs, youre smoke... Just like she stops putting out or doing her part, she had better be out

[@workingshlub8861]

if she is letting you focus on making that money and not complaining about no flowers or candy etc...that is a keeper but know money stops flowing in its ticking time bomb ...she will bolt

[@Shamilt3]

@workingshlub8861 I'm speaking on the ideal. Her money comes from the household doing well. It's symbiotic. I agree in today's world it would be tough and you'd need to find one young, low in emotional trauma and not infected with the mind virus..

I am half the book and I must say it is amazing point of view. I guess is a must read for all men. And is not only about relations, but to fulfill the real man personality.

[@alteroxx]

Yup, and for the ladies; if you want romance be very into your femenine… inspire him and his and your sensuality will make him always put in effort 😉

[@sammyb1651]

Simple and fair. Beyond their comprehension though.

[@shaolinotter]

this is all men generally want anyway, so a man with money is just going to buy it (sugar baby). but its also fair that a woman who has to work is going to have less capacity to be sensual

​@@sammyb1651 stop with the incel shit. This isn't what Orion wants you to be.

[@sammyb1651]

You sound a little over "invested" if you don't mind me saying. Comes across weird. Try to not get quite so emotionally affected by comments. 👍

[@poloboy]

@@sammyb1651 lol brutal comeback

[@PatriciaJPardo]

Not all successful men hate getting gifts that bring a smile and words of appreciation. When you thank the man who brought you roses not just on the day that they were given you, but also on another day when you are still enjoying them they know you appreciate the effort and celebrate their effort. Same goes for a surprise gift or Valentine’s gift from a woman to a man. Gifts can be little things like cards or notes or a fun souvenir from a trip like a pretty shell from the beach. A wife can get the best tie from Nordstrom for an important talk of her husband so he knows she cares. Romance & generosity in marriage can be fun. Putting thoughts into gifts and appreciating that effort can happen without constantly thinking this is all a series of transactions. Change the paradigm to include the richness of life.

[@earx23]

I don't fully agree. I like to give gifts. I don't always expect stuff in return, although sexless relationships are a no-go. I still managed. Being too much of a jerk will probably give you full access, but only for a short time. This is my experience.

[@stephenbenbow5739]

I think part of the conversation is where is the gift coming from. Like I buy girls I like drinks sometimes. I do this because I have plenty of money and it feels like a nice gift. I don't have delusions about them being more attracted to me because of it, though my experience has been that if a girl likes me already it does move the needle slightly. If I didn't do this I think my romantic success would be completely unaffected by the change

[@elainer8288]

I agree a 100%.

[@Nordic1133]

Finally, a man with brains!

[@earx23]

@@Nordic1133 How dare you assume my gender, ghehehe

[@Nordic1133]

@@earx23 😂

[@demven04]

Genius observations and thoughts. Thank you! I absolutely agree with this, as I’ve experienced it all myself.

[@JohnStiletto]

I like the romance, have never been rich and don't care about money much. Had a gf dis me a left me for her boss with a lot of money. She wanted to come back, i just laughed and walked.

[@adonaiel-rohi2460]

When you have power your self respect goes up and people think you’re a jerk

[@TheStreamsHub]

True love will have both aspects. There is fear beneath this that if you’re not good enough our wealthy enough they will leave you, your confidence can’t come from the money you make. If you genuinely enjoy both of your guys’ time together and you’ve got you’re basic needs and acitivities both of you genuinely enjoy that is all you need.

[@ХристофорНекрасов]

For sure, I always look out for those. They make the lows a bit easier to handle, keeping you in the game longer

[@gmoneymac23]

I'd rather buy flowers and candles than pay their rent 🤷‍♂

[@josejunior1521]

My guess is that you're broke

[@TeodorAngelov]

Flowers are a sign of appreciation which is leverage for the woman.

[@soichirohonda267]

In my country, if you are unsuccessful: one rose. If you are: 101 roses.

[@YoichiNishimoto]

Yes and their crash games are pretty cool too started on a recommendation from a friend and now I’m hooked

[@rayrwyr]

Successful Man is the male equivalent of Trophy Wife. Both think they are the prize.

[@ohixxcodoors7714]

Aligns perfectly with my experience. Thanks 👍

[@joevillavicencio4718]

The only reason I don’t 100% agree with this is because something else you’ve said that has resonated with me Men are romantic I’ve attained a level of success and freedom that I don’t need to do romantic gestures anymore I love to do them still

[@anonymous.2471]

Watch his video " Most men are romantics" I think you are misunderstanding what he meant.

[@IfSemper]

...& that's fine & good, because it's genuine. You just need a woman that is also a romantic at heart who will recognize & appreciate your expressions of it. She has to be very into you, as well.

[@elainer8288]

It's great to hear that. 😊

[@SidorLazarev]

Heard from my cousin about their loyalty program he’s been getting rewards left and right

[@UlquiInTheBox]

I had a girl get upset with me because I didn’t open the door for her, she kept complaining every time we’d get off the car. I kicked her to curb so fast, I was so annoyed lmao. Paid for dinner, drinks, and activity, planned the whole thing out all she had to do was show up

[@JA-qk8gt]

couldn't treat her with respect then? Don't know how to be a gentleman? Sad.

[@-blackcat-4749]

That was a 📊 humdrum benefit. A usual scene

[@IfSemper]

Its the gentlemanly thing to do, to open doors for women. I wouldn't have complained about it, but I would notice on a date. Where I come from strangers almost always get the door for me, it's just a customary courtesy type thing.

[@-blackcat-4749]

This 📆 is a boring occurance. A regular moment

[@IfSemper]

@@-blackcat-4749 Oh, there are, but granted maybe harder to find these days I know.

[@Alexandre-rt7xk]

I don't mind giving flowers from time to time but good morning texts breaks my back. I can't do it. It is too much time wasted. And when I wake up I need to ready my mind for work, not romance.

[@untamedwildhorse]

Thanks for explaining that. I was butt hurt my guy wasn't doing that when previous men I dated did. I started doing that and he responds to it favorably when I do that occasionally. He doesn't like it daily either. It took me a while to figure out that he needs to focus.

[@elainer8288]

I'm a woman and I agree. It's unnecessary to do this good morning texts. Talking after work during a call is better. We all need to focus at work in the morning.

[@DwyaneWadeCounty]

2:37 most men don't like buying flowers, sending good morning text, and calling in for nothing Here, I thought I was the only man😂

[@rodrigobelinchon2982]

Good morning texts really are for losers😂😂😂

[@Nordic1133]

Believe it or not many women don't like that neither. And also I hate talking on the phone for hours. I just can't. Meet me in person and say what you want to say.

[@HenrySimmons1225]

It's acts of appreciation tf

[@AngelofJustice412]

I wouldn’t necessarily agree that men just simply don’t want to engage in that performative romance you describe. I just think once you get rejected so many times in favor of guys who are just objectively “better” than you, you end up becoming cold-hearted. And the cycle continues. So yeah, what you said about how we learn that it’s not effective, and thus we don’t want to do it anymore, is true. It’s just that that doesn’t convey the entire picture. Some of us definitely want to - at least start off wanting to - but we not only learn that it’s not as effective, but it sometimes can be counterproductive and actually be seen as a lack of value in womens’ eyes, like some other commenters have also alluded to.

[@BeetleOtaku]

I started reading "The Wall Speaks" by Jerr. The results were immediate. I highly recommend the book to gain a masculine frame. But it'll make you stone cold brother, and they like that.

[@AlexB_yolo]

Ruthless!!! But true. Good video.

[@elmorchdiamel663]

Yes I prefer a provider with a real house with all costs than flowers 😂

[@legobuildingsrewiew7538]

Great video and very true not a black or white pill but a clearpill. Edit: bought the paperback to support you. Looking forward to reading through it.

[@als51941]

Such a good video!

[@ringoheinrich7021]

Great episode. Again.

[@kimlawson9869]

Hmmmm. Look at the model on the real housewives of atlanta. Gorgeous woman, chistian, who turned down a billionaire who basically said, no amount of money could make up for his bad breath. Its like: really guys money doea not mean you become unpalatable in like every way..

[@EfimiyaMishina]

Yeah, I claimed it right when I signed up. It really helps test out different games without too much risk. You thinking about signing up

[@HarshSingh-nr8qk]

1:11 I have watched a lot of psychacks episode that I predicted he is gonna say about "Romance is a poor man's game" haha