r/Me_irl | why is this true?

[@feuerling]

6:46 pro tip: if you put enough vegetables on a burger you can count it as a salad. Just pile it on, and when you have to unhing your jaw to take a bite, it's ready.

[@nakumavecaan254]

Unhinged. The jaw, that is.

[@wmdkitty]

And my dentist wonders why my jaw is all forked up.

[@hmnhntr]

Honestly I've just started putting cucumbers and tomatoes on everything to try to balance things out

[@thatoneotheridiot3361]

gmtn....

[@Kloggermeister]

4:19 Whenever I'm watching a really shitty ad I just audibly exclaim, "WOW!!! I NEED TO PURCHASE THIS PRODUCT NOW!!!!!"

[@abbycollins]

If it’s particularly annoying, I just say f right off or f you. Works every time!

[@RGC_animation]

Damn, I really should've bought a house and BitCoins in 2008 instead of being a toddler.

[@Koba-333]

Damn, i really should have done that too instead of not-existing

[@CourierCat-isGod]

Damn, I really should've bought a house and BitCoins in 2008 instead of being in my dads balls

[@KubaFi-l2h]

I should've drank water befor I was alive becouse it would've been cheaper

[@tuckergregory]

A toddler?! In 2008??? Dang, grow up (This is a joke I don't mean to offend)

[@balls_gaming]

bah, when I was a toddler I was 27 years old, working at amazon. Kids these days /j

[@roonkolos]

That melody one is something i had some years ago. Was looking for a sing but i only remembered 3 noted of it Long story short, it was "Merry Christmas, Mr Lawrence." Spent like 15 damn years searching and at a point convinced myself my mind made it up Best feeling ever ♡

[@robertwilloughby8050]

My own saliva? Not often. My own phlegm? That's my NEMESIS!😢

[@airymems]

As someone who suffers of constant phlegm I feel you

[@FormerlyIvorMinecraftStoryMode]

That feeling is just the miniature fish flying up your throat.

[@morganisapro8k]

Choking on my own saliva? Not often. Choking on phleghm? Not often. Biting one of my 6 ulcers that always seem to come back? That's my NEMESIS 😢

[@micheallantler5068]

​​@@morganisapro8k Dang, how did you get 6 ulcers?

[@infinitestuff222]

me: sitting there my music: AND THE RAIN WILL KILL US ALL!! THROW OURSELVES AGAINST THE WALL!! AND NOONE ELSE CAN SEE!! THE PRESERVATION OR THE MARTYR IN ME!!

[@MSRTA_Productions]

All of this is me... but I'm a train.

[@TheRealAxolotlAnimates]

Same but instead of a train, im a sapient axolotl.

[@ScreamLoud763]

Bro why’d you kill my girlfriend She was two steps off the curb

[@notsomeonewholikeslife]

​@@ScreamLoud763one egg

[@Bryce_the_Woomy_Boi]

All of this is me... But I'm a squid.

[@Streetcleanergaming]

All of this is me.... but I'm the least qualified cleaner ever

[@UKAsker]

Co-workers who ask the boss if there's extra work to do is the adult equivalent of that classmate who asks the teacher if we're getting homework

[@AnekoF90]

This should be illegal.

[@BearBeatzu]

I’m that kid… so I can’t see anything wrong with this.

[@paigemosher8697]

​@BearBeatzu There's not. The replies above you just like to create more work for the rest of us because apparently being actually useful is for chumps.

[@BearBeatzu]

@@paigemosher8697 You can tell who actually wants to earn their roles in a career and who is just unmotivated. Very interesting way of saying “I’m not a breadwinner and it pisses me off, so I’m gonna make you look like the loser to make me feel better about my own sad and miserable life.”

[@trishapellis]

@@paigemosher8697 No, the rest of us don't want to be worked to death. If you do double the work everyone else is doing, one effect of that is that the other employees are going to be expected to put in that same amount of work ("if this guy can do it, so can the others") even though they may not be physically capable - not everyone has the same kind of brain. The other effect is that for *you* , specifically, it's going to be considered *normal* that you do that amount of work - people are going to get used to it, take it for granted... and then tell you to give 110%. An employer is *always* going to try and squeeze as much as they can from you, and if you show off that you're 'motivated', they're going to want to take advantage of that and try and get you to do even more. At a call center I worked, we were all called into a lil' room to be told to work harder and to be more like Andrea, who was the top employee. Five minutes after that meeting, they told Andrea that he wasn't actually pulling enough and he needed to do better. I swear I'm not making this up. And please keep in mind, a lot of people do this specifically for the sake of getting promoted - and at least for those people, it's actually better that they be the only one who do this act. After all, if you're working 70 hours a week to get a promotion, and all of your coworkers are *also* working 70-hour weeks, then you don't stand out, so it's less likely you'll actually get the promotion. China's culture currently has this on overdrive - you're perceived as slacking off if you work *less* than 70 hours a week - and China's youth are simply giving up on life (look up the bai lan movement - yes, there's more to it, but this is a part of it). An employer is never going to look at two employees where one is doing more work than the other and just go "this is okay, one of them is just more motivated/ more capable of doing this". If you let your employer overexploit you, that's going to legitimize that employer's attempts to overexploit everyone else just as hard (and if they get what they want, then you aren't special anymore for busting your ass). Overtime should only ever be required if it's in your contract, and you're getting paid extra for it. If your workload can't be processed without overtime, your employer should hire more employees to divide that workload over. The grindset is only going to lead you to an early grave. Some of us want to have time to spend with our families and friends.

[@gentuxable]

When you're silent: "What's wrong why aren't you talking?" When you're talking: "Why won't you shut up?"

[@hattu2374]

0:22 Woah, really? Your kitchen can make eggs? Thats new to me

[@feuerling]

They clearly said that _they_ made the egg, using the equipment in their kitchen. You just don't have the necessary skills yet. Level up a bit.

[@food_cake]

​@@feuerling i can hear it... The commenters flooding the replies with "r/wooooooooosh"... They're coming... And they're coming FAST

[@Wh1t4f0r3est]

@@feuerling R/WOOSH

[@dayzlove4994]

​@@feuerlingget off of KZbin. You don't have the necessary comedy.

[@cranberri_stickz]

@@Wh1t4f0r3est AHHH

[@BearBeatzu]

I think the reason my face is so flexible now is because I spent most of my childhood crying.

[@cspier954]

Hope youre doing fine now 👍

[@BearBeatzu]

@@cspier954 no

[@Br34dL04f]

I feel that, man. Relatable. I hope it gets better for you soon.

[@埊]

Some people who have received a cursive gift of hearlessness, so that way they can think and sleep undisturbed whenever they want: void is our covenant and silence is our ally, the voices of the world do not disturb us.

[@kessiniktange8861]

I'm seeing 3 possibilities here... 1. I had a stroke reading this. 2. You had a stroke writing this. 3. English is not your first language. 4. It's too early to be reading comments on an emkay video about a "cursive" gift of "hearlessness," whatever the hell that means.

[@埊]

@@kessiniktange8861 各正√

[@grayqueen814]

If the person behind you honks 0.0001 seconds after the light turns green they are still somewhat reasonable. People here use their prior knowledge of the intersection’s lights algorithm to precisely calculate the time the light will change and honk at you before the light even turns yellow.

[@AnekoF90]

2:36 I can't, I just can't. It's so damn funny for me seeing a cute little marshmallow just asking you to put it on fire. This is the type of thing I'd laugh to when I was 10 years old, and I'm damn near 20 now. My humor has been broke since that time. There's no way to fix it at this point.

[@Cuddly-Cactus]

Same bro same. And I'm old enough to be your grandmother but yes, my sense of humor is definitely on par with that of a much younger person, but then again isn't that true for all of us here watching Emkay videos and giggling like morons at 3AM trying not to wake our spouses or partners or is that just me? 🤔 Shhh! My husband is sleeping next to me in while I'm watching this on a tablet in the dark. 🤣💀 (No, really that is exactly 💯 what I am doing at this moment.)

[@cozyvrc]

8:24 AYO THE NEW JSAL TEMPLATE

[@Licketer_AH]

I KNOW!!! It was mentioned in the new reddit video!

[@cozyvrc]

@@Licketer_AH I’m literally watching that right now, I paused to upvote the post like he said and I saw your reply😅

[@samhebrank1903]

Disappointed KSI!!!

[@Higherdisk]

I came to the comments to see if someone mentioned it. Good to see that someone did.

[@FlowerMagicGaming-iz9gf]

Geez, the template is viral!

[@MorganMakesThings]

I had a 9-5. It was mostly spent processing paperwork by a deadline. Break for lunch, more paperwork. Busy was when there was more paperwork but the same deadline. Dude, the joys of bureaucracy.

[@robertwilloughby8050]

Unskippable ad? Time to - get a cookie, or brew a coffee, or have a shit, or read an article, or do anything but concentrate on that bloody ad!

[@Cuddly-Cactus]

Bro, all you need to do hit the refresh button (or if you're on a windows PC hit F5) and 🪄✨️Poof!✨️ you just get the video minus ALL ads. Try it out yourself, guaranteed it will work.

[@Cuddly-Cactus]

P.S. - Hitting the refresh button will work if you are using an apple device with safari, or using windows and using 🔥🦊 (Firefox) or Chrome. (This is just something that KZbin does but they don't tell you about it so just shhh!) LOL! 🤣💀

[@FlameSoulis]

4:15 For the record, they actually did patent that. That is real: Google does plan to later on check IF you are actually watching the ad.

[@Bat_boy_1]

2:45 nah, when that happens I usually get blinded. Sun too bright

[@Demonicwolf9]

5:35 i will never stop for Walmart receipts checkers. Unlike Cosco there is no contract making me stop

[@ShadoeLandman]

18:46 Because otherwise the volume buttons are on the bottom and you accidentally push “up” and volume yourself and anyone nearby a jump scare.

[@mmmmmthai]

4:05 absolutely had me chuckling just the way he said it and the eyes after

[@spacechicken527]

3:28 my friends are wonderful and would never ditch me like that. Unfortunately, I am too paranoid to except this fact

[@agingerredhead9380]

bro, i had to watch a tutorial on the mechanics of a toilet to fix one at my friends house 💀😭

[@Lynds331]

4:04 actually KZbin wanted to implement the technology of being able to monitor if the person is looking at the screen while an ad appears and if they look away the ad would pause which I think is terrible and should not be implemented but it's 2024 what the frick am I going to do?

[@beansandboarsontherun5762]

All the more reason for me to never have a webcam

[@Lynds331]

@@beansandboarsontherun5762 true true

[@hmnhntr]

Like when the XBox One came with the Kinect. Christ, I can't believe they thought that was a good idea

[@Lynds331]

@@hmnhntr yeah it's honestly self-incriminating literally

[@SharpDesign]

"How did you add the sky background" I think I hurt myself facepalming from that.

[@ImmortalAbsol]

5:53 self-checkout will have you on video as proof of purchase.

[@chesicaek]

what if the me_irl was inside us all along..

[@ÞeSheep1]

What if me was inside you all along

[@andistansbury4366]

​@@ÞeSheep1😏

[@cranberri_stickz]

@@andistansbury4366 no no

[@TaruneExclusiveCat]

What if cat was inside you all along

[@BelowAll]

what if the real me_irl were the friends we made along the wa-

[@AquaMidget]

I love buying things but I hate losing money, so I just stare at all the things I want and imagine myself buying them

[@busyizzy440]

2:05 why he never said happy birthday back😔

[@wallrider4194]

The thumbnail came from a book, an anatomy book, appeared at 6:28

[@Radicall_hell]

8:23 YOOOOOO i love jacksucksatlife and emkay now jacks in emkay

[@white_145]

23:36 I can do that. It's very useful on boring classes or long trips, but can be annoying when you need to pay attention but brain keeps on zoning out cuz it became a habit

[@utatanepiko7087]

Same. But when I do it, I also stop blinking. Awful when I'm finally back in reality

[@themushroom_dude]

As a portuguese guy I can confirm I do have my own country inside my pocket

[@rufusgobrrr]

the walmart thing isn't really that weird because the self checkouts usually have someone watching them and they're also usually close to the doors so the greeter watches you walk from self check and thinks "oh well they were watched while they checked out so its fine"

[@justapanpirate]

In Sweden they just have a locked gate that opens when you scan the barcode on your receipt.

[@rosenrot234]

22:10 Its the big honking hallway part of OG Re4 that stresses me. The part where Ashley has to use some levers and stuff and you're in the castle.

[@perodactyl490]

The real me_irl is the friends we made along the way.

[@brandonporter2321]

3:26 I love how the image they used here is basically reverse. Yes, a bad group of "friends" will make you feel down and sad more often instead of supportive and happy. And often times, it's not you it's just the toxic friend group. Best to separate yourself from them because they're just being super pissy and stinky, but they obviously won't admit it.

[@lyndaldobson8556]

16:35 Assuming u hate ur 9-5 office job that takes u 1/2hours to commute to, and assuming u are an adult male who sleeps 9PM to 8AM, AND assuming that it takes 1hours for u to do chores and 1/2hours for u to meditate after work, that i already mentioned u hate so much you need to meditate after it, that would leave u with 1/2hours to be on ur computer.

[@MaxwellCatAlphonk]

11:51 if they sold this in theaters alongside popcorn I'd be happy If they sold this in theaters instead of popcorn however I would be infuriated To solve this riddle you must reply with the difference between the two hypothetical statements Good Luck :)

[@briennabradley]

Decided zoning out and not accepting information is called disassociation

[@beata3091]

15:18 dude , worse . I only remember one dance move and look of that singer 😭

[@CourierCat-isGod]

13:28 bro doesnt need tusk act4 to infinitely rotate his spine 😭😂

[@AwesomeDude_37]

21:50 Getting ender pearls in pre 1.14 minecraft

[@Renee-Soleil]

4:26 Ublock origin for Windows and ReVanced for Android ❤️

[@lePirateMan]

Pretty sure ublock works on all pc operating systems with access to the internett

[@pan1884]

Now that Chromium is gonna have Chrome's adblock killer baked into it (thus adding it to all Chromium web browsers like Opera and Brave), make sure you also go looking for something based on Firefox, if not Firefox itself!

[@Alphacheesehunter]

Fortunately for clog issues and I, I've been trained on how to deal with all sorts of clogs.

[@ZeroKami86]

@13:09 no, it's 0.0001 seconds after you look up from your phone and notice the green light, when in reality they waited 2-3 seconds before honking.

[@kyliecunnington7711]

6:16 NO NO NO NO. no. It's when your hear the fucking Playlist in your job because you don't have enough songs in your Playlist but it's catchy af.

[@Ohioweather]

Let's be real, we've all had an r/me_irl moment in our life we just happen to not have the right sound effects for the moment we need a soundboard for irl situations not gonna lie

[@MaryGen-xo6zf]

1:08 yes, but I’m autistic and the movie isn’t answering the reason as to why a joke was funny! I need answers and of its not given explicitly, I won’t understand!

[@jamerility]

0:27 do you mean a deviled egg?

[@Lynds331]

5:41 at self-checkout tills they have a camera that is hidden and can read and identify the face of the person and the items and once the items are technically purchased they will list you as a paying customer and the metal detectors and all that stuff are all connected with the network and all that so they can really identify and all that galore and that's why there's cameras outside in the front of the metal detectors. Just in case you are not a paying customer and you were able to go through the metal detectors so yeah, basically it's just a hidden camera that they use, the more you know

[@mihaleben6051]

In slovenia not taking the receipt is a crime

[@ThePurpleOwlGod]

As a Samsung user with no home button, the bottom of the phone still points right

[@logically-pastel1795]

For the grass patch at the start, they probably have people who keep driving over it

[@zhabiboss]

“Wait we were all almost the same?” “Always has been bro”

[@euosvarietychannel6986]

Flies will bump into all glass except the ones on your face

[@martinsoap054]

Yo Zach, love your content. Just wanted to point out how paying at self checkout increases the risk of cashiers losing their jobs. It's a thing my dad is always talking about so I figured I should share

[@hmnhntr]

These days there are barely regular checkouts available

[@ScreamLoud763]

What if emkay was called freakay and instead of reading memes they read gay bara stories

[@just_oracle]

LETS GO THE FREAK MEME HAS REACHED EMKAY

[@peacrab]

Ok

[@CourierCat-isGod]

What if courier cat was called freakier cat and instead of obliterating every enemy he got freakier with them

[@gummiebeez]

Convinced that Zach and Damien are the same person they just wanted more narrators

[@EliSuarez08]

Anyone else feel kind of sad he didn't say "We need an escape plan, right meow". At 17:02

[@shiki9850]

16:50 yeah, 90 minutes is nowhere near the maximum ammount of time an average internet dweller plays games for, me and my friend decided to play games for a bit and then i realized that i had been playing for 13 whole hours (probably more cause i had to restart the pc) when i checked how long my device had been runnin for

[@DTgamer_Shiver-is-best-waifu]

2:34 No, that little marshmallow. He was so young😢 We'll get you the help you need.

[@deedeeream5921]

The Wal-Mart receipt thing...if you opt for a texted receipt and they wanna see it as you leave, open the link that was texted to you. It's how you get it in case you need to return something as well. Easy peasy.

[@alicehazelprescott7651]

13:20 dude i didnt even process him as a slouched person for a solid sec. Bro got me to check my own posture wothout having to say anyrhing

[@jkolbly1]

20:00 Plus, it never feels like a good idea to scan random QR codes. Wouldn't be too hard to swap out a restaurants QR code for one that still shows a menu, but also runs some code in the background.

[@AlexandarHullRichter]

3:31 it's not about the people you hang out with necessarily, but when your childhood traumas tell you everyone in the world will behave like that whether you know it or not.

[@goreobsessed2308]

I must be weird I love finding a new long ass series and just binginging it for a month

[@MrRaphael310]

I can't believe Zach Fuller! He likes money?!?!

[@tzarg]

22:16 new fear unlocked hahahahahah

[@classicalricky]

0:32 yo, that looks like a former coworker of mi ne back when i worked at dunkin donuts

[@justapanpirate]

Sorry, does the US not have a gate with a barcode reader that scans you receipt before opening the gate in checkout?

[@hmnhntr]

No, I've never heard about that. Where do you live that does?

[@slientkillli7433]

90 minutes is rookie numbers, pretty sure 2 year olds put up higher numbers now days

[@pensionclippings111]

0:58 this is not valid if it's an MCU movie and they haven't seen more than one of them

[@muttthingy9908]

2:27 that joke made me miserable in secondary school. so glad i ditched the name 😅

[@Bukki13]

i can’t believe zach fuller… he likes .. money???????????? (9:31)

[@LXMA5962]

Em, what the Kay (Love the content emkay❤❤❤)

[@chriskessler442]

9:47 sunglass brought to you by Gordie Laforge

[@JamsterKensei]

That's who I pretended to be! 😂

[@Gameplan-tired]

9:25 (insert mister crabs "I like money" gif/sfx)

[@loadingerror479]

Self check receipt options aren’t do you want it. They are print, email, or print and email. If you don’t print, you have to show the email.

[@dropdmike75]

idk why but I kinda like the term "fly eye"

[@dreamypond]

where i am, sometimes the walmarts don't care to check the receipts; and i know this cuz the alarm still goes off at least 3 times when i'm there lol

[@demenitusthehedgehoglitch5603]

10:31 i knew it wasn't healthy, that's why I'm so weak I don't cry enough

[@RebeccaHester-309]

9:39 We'll that game of horse shoes didn't go well.

[@gr_pefxnta]

3:08 needy streamer overload spotted

[@barelyrayssa9808]

19:23 I have a cousin who had 3 kids, two older sons and one younger daughter. My family on her side is very religious, so they'd ask for God's guidance on everything. She wanted to leave the small city they lived, but God told her to wait. My uncle, her father, constantly had prophetic dreams of two coffins being carried out of his house, and his younger granddaughter crying. A year ago, my cousin's sons drowned together. Their coffins were carried out of my uncle's home. God apparently answered that now, she was free to go. I'm not as religious as my family certainly is, but if I were in her shoes, I don't know if I'd be able to keep believing. Yes, God gave and God took, but its not an easy thing to hear when you lose two sons at the very same time, even if it might be true.

[@kataratakaran5271]

once you master the art of the drugless high, the wonders you will behold :3c

[@beeftips1628]

18:44 this is literally the wrongest thing I’ve ever seen it hurts.

[@hmnhntr]

7:08 Have you ever been near something that should smell bad, but it smells good? It's weirdly disgusting.

[@beansandboarsontherun5762]

Never have I ever put much thought into this concept, and yet upon reading this I felt as though it spoke to my very soul.

[@utatanepiko7087]

I have...but I won't be specific

[@hmnhntr]

​@@utatanepiko7087Gas station dumpster. But I've said too much

[@utatanepiko7087]

@@hmnhntr I guess that depends on what's in the dumpster Wait why am I entertaining this? XD

[@RazorSharpMC]

Home button, I haven’t heard that name in years.

[@ZIM_skol]

OMG SALIVA IS MY NEMESIS idk why it always wants to be in my lungs

[@UnpatternedGarbage]

Immigrating. The economy in the stomach is pretty crap rn

[@VarahiP]

6:10 ITS THE UMBRELLA ACADEMY, ITS THE FREAKING UMBRELLA ACADEMY

[@isaacphilpott621]

fun fact: no one without extensions has watched the entire video

[@Alice_was-here_1999]

Going to bed at 6 am is still early! It’s *early* in the morning 😅

[@bread_guy]

I can actually zone out on command, it's great

[@kendallsmith3024]

2:45 meanwhile with my blue eyes: *sun hits my eyes at most angles* *suddenly I’m blind*

[@TropicViibes]

23:42 i can do this but sometimes it gets me into trouble LMFAO

[@casualsleepingdragon8501]

9:58 was once listening to dragonforce in the cafeteria and jamming so hard the teacher þought I was having a sezure

[@JasonLucio-g2h]

A move. Mel the right

[@Corrupted_Eon]

Backfill to be happy Be happy to back flip