Recovery from Narcissistic Abuse: Finding your voice, finding your way

[@littlebird2037]

My small (really momentous) victory after ridding myself of the narcissist in my life, was to purchas a ticket for an opera in a different city. I made the hotel reservation, drove and checked in. Put on a beautiful dress and heels, attended the opera, bought myself a glass of champagne at intermission, and thoroughly enjoyed the evening with myself. Had a great night's sleep and drove back home. It was a magical, empowering, fun, exciting, experience. I was so proud of myself and from that point forward continued to enjoy doing many things by myself. I still do.

[@marys33794]

Well done. 🎉🧡💛👍👍👍

[@Rowganlife]

Congrats on getting back to yourself littlebird.

[@SuperBruins12]

Good job I also love to do things by myself now

[@cindyadkins135]

I did the same thing!!! Then I bought season tickets. Now I’m in Hawaii on a trip and it has really helped me find myself. Best of luck.💕

[@littlebird2037]

@@cindyadkins135 wonderful. Enjoy life!

[@yvetteandjorgenlarsen9753]

I pick Zumba! I love being retired! I love moving, stretching, dancing around!😊 Live with intent! Yes!

[@llkellenba]

😢 so many regrets, betrayals and losses. Radical acceptance is all there is…

[@cyberninjasworld]

They aré mentally ill, It was not your fault❤ they would have done the same with anyone

[@robharris5467]

@@cyberninjasworld I don't have enough years left to recover fully. It's PTSD so subject to out-of-the-blue triggers.

[@elizabethash4720]

Irish voice is so lovely to hear. Very soothing.🎉

[@Rowganlife]

yeah...its enjoyable.

[@BeeBeeBell]

Darren, this is so needed. We lose our autonomy and get stuck analyzing, relecting, and ruminating. Personally, I remember myself 10 yrs ago pre-narc abuse. Happy, confident, self-assured, solid circle of friends. Now, I am angry this was taken from me. Fearful. Full of self doubt. But extremely educated on NPD but not on how to regain my sense of self. I believe you are one of the only KZbinrs addressing this need. Thank you.

[@cindyadkins135]

I totally lost my confidence-and I was in the relationship for four years. I’m trying to erase it from my mind-about impossible!!!

[@188vincent]

Most helpful information I've heard to date. I am going watch this another time to let it all sink in permanently. Thank you. For those of us hurting a lot, your calm , gentle voice is so soothing and healing in itself.

[@yvetteandjorgenlarsen9753]

Oh, Darren, Thank you for explaining what acceptance is and isn't. I was really struggling with this. I'm so thankful for the feeling of relief that washes over me when something 'clicks into place' Within Me, and my body takes a big cleansing breath.😄 Shalom....

[@marthawhite3353]

This is where I am at today, feeling the feelings of ending a recent very abusive relationship, and setting up rebuilding my life back and better. Still feeling gutted that I allowed this awful relationship, but also feeling better at what I have learned and what the future holds. Thanks Darren for the good work you do here.

[@Rowganlife]

good luck Martha! Only up from here, right? lol im in the same boat

[@Deia2701x]

Anxious crisis turns everything more difficult

[@jeffreyjackson5229]

While I will acknowledge my "glitches" due to my exposure to a narcissistic father and codependent/enmeshed mother, despite them, my life has turned out well. In other words, my fortitude, resilence, and perseverance remain and remained intact: Only high graduate of 5 sons. Only college graduate of 9 children. Only one with a professional job. No illegitimate children. No children period. No legal issues. No substance abuse issues. Only military veteran. When the thoughts of the hurtful experiences come to mind, I work through them and remind myself of all that I have overcome; that I took their best shoots, endured, overcame, and now thrive. Few could have endured such blows from family.

[@carlafunk7729]

❤❤❤peace.

[@joeyjoy7829]

Gosh, this is a video I'm going to keep returning to. A brilliant reminder of some of the ideas I'm learning/exploring in psychology sessions. A fantastic consolidation of the sessions which are helping me so much. Especially the taking little risks. I'm doing that at the moment and I'm learning so much about myself and just how courageous I am after years of telling myself I'm a wimp and should be ashamed of how I lack the courage of my convictions. I can do hard things but I don't need to put myself in challenging situations all time. Pick my moments, on my terms. Comfortable moment are nice too! This is a wonderful resource. Thank you so much. 😊😊

[@jennylynn82173]

You’re helping me immeasurably… Thank you, Darren.

[@SimoneJassmann-jr5bl]

Thanks again

[@diananeri4476]

i did not sing in the mirror. I was cross and felt bad, when you said everyone did, because I'm not a liar. But I realised you were not wrong, just I could not do it. Way too much ridicule and unkindness in my family so I did nothing that would draw attention to myself. I was astonished to see people on tv singing with hairbrush microphones. It never occurred to me. Another thing I lost out on! I sing now!

[@SimoneJassmann-jr5bl]

Thanks again Awesome video a lot to learn from this

[@joydavis1670]

I really needed to hear all this. Good stuff. Keep it coming

[@thrivingnow7395]

Thanks Darren. Your words make such sense.

[@thrivingnow7395]

Your calm demeanor helped me when my ex-narc was stalking me after a violent physical assault. Our one-on-one sessions helped me through that phase of stalking. Yes, three years out with him still stalking ( contacting my employer a few weeks ago), I am totally zero contact and my anxiety is vastly reduced, thanks to your counselling. Thank you🎯

[@cookiemama4]

​​@@thrivingnow7395 If he's still stalking you, make records of ALL of it, and get police reports! My daughter dated a man for about 2 months, and she broke it off because of his anger and jealousy. He shot her several times when she was on her way to work almost 3 years ago. She is alive, but paralyzed from the chest, down.. Take stalking VERY seriously! Always look around when you're walking to or from your car, etc. Keep yourself safe, and report every single time he stalks you/ follows you/ did a stakeout of your home, job, or at a friend's house.. Take care of you! 💜💕🦋

[@Sizukaland80]

そうね。発音がとても優しい❤

[@mariajessielocklear8246]

This is such practical and useful content...loving your gentle but decisive approach🙏💜🌟

[@imnoel8214]

Thank you Darren. Once again I had to miss the live stream, but watched later. It was just the respite I needed after a very long and trying day. Decided to sit down at the piano and had a very good practice session. One little step at a time.

[@DominiqueRichardca]

Thank you from Montreal ✌ J'adore votre sobriété I love your down to earth style It is reassuring. And the way that you make the vidéos (The framing) it's like we are at the same table juste talking. The video help me with my work had a few insights that i realy needed. Thank you again have a nice day🌞

[@ГалинаПономарева-ш2с]

Thank you very much🧡

[@coolash706]

Your videos are so simple yet so powerful 👏

[@J_van_can]

Thank you Darren.. I really needed to hear this..

[@joydavis1670]

Nice soothing voice indeed. Darin could definitely create a playlist of meditation videos to promote good mental health 😎😎😎

[@cookiemama4]

I had to smile at your comment because THESE are the meditation videos that promote good health! 🤗🦋

[@Deia2701x]

Thank you 🙏🏼

[@IzabelaWaniek-i1x]

Thank you for sharing your wisdom Darren😊 you have helped me a lot on my healing journey. God bless you ❤

[@cyberninjasworld]

He has helped me a lot too, through the years❤

[@melol1484]

Darren I feel like the swinging to the other extreme of the pendulum when trying to have a voice per say.... I notice people will tune you out..or when I become overwhelmed by a superficial response i over-react like..your not hearing or understanding me..or I get blown off completely by their indifference so I end up frustrated and angry. Maybe it just the wrong people to voice an opinion too..I dunno. I know it takes time and practice to know how to answer people more correctly.. and I'm new to this speaking up stuff and communicating my boundaries to narcs and people in general as of late and I'm feeling very very frustrated about this whole thing personally. Likee im still being tuned out and unheard or the other party is just utterly brain dead! I feel liken to I'm just speaking to the wall..or the aethers and unheard, or they just don't care to hear what I have to say period! Im sooo soo frustrated!

[@cyberninjasworld]

Thank you Dr❤

[@tanzinafarha5681]

One thing I was thinking about,i wonder if you can help me little bit.... Because of narcissist abuse,since I was a kid i have always created my own world,i am very well aware of it....I have been trying to get out of this relationship as well but it will take little bit time.....i wonder if I am living in la la land ? Even though I try my best to do all household chores, getting my higher education, doing volunteer work, participating clubs, learning languages etc....

[@cookiemama4]

Growing up, I was mostly a loner. I liked being alone, playing alone, reading a lot of books. I liked building an outdoor "shelter", a place I could go to/run to, and call my own.. I was content being this way. I'm now MUCH older and I like the same things. It's almost like, the more people I'm around, the more chances there are of getting hurt. If I keep everyone out of my world, they can't hurt me. I'll be "safe". But I also liked playing with my sisters and classmates, playing hopscotch, jacks, Barbies, paper dolls, drawing and coloring pictures, etc.. That was my childhood, into my adult years. But growing up, I have always helped the underdog, the outcast, the needy. I want to ease their pain if I can.. Wow, a therapist could have a field day with this comment alone.. :/ I understand you, as much as a stranger could. At the very least, I can honestly say, "I can relate".. Wishing you peace, joy, and comfort in your life today.. Pamper yourself with love and comfort.. 💜🛀☕️💐

[@CarolaSiegel]

Thank you for a lot of practical and empathic advice! Will there be a written transscript of this on substack? And I love the image of the boat with all its variations. "When the water´s inside, it´s not so healthy." LMAO 😁 If this is stoicism, I have a goal for my late years of life now. Used to call it wisdom, when I was younger, but always meant that pracitcal kind of wisdom.

[@DarrenFMagee]

Glad you found it helpful and yes there will be a transcript on substack. I have a backlog to add and am getting around to it as quick as I can I appreciate your asking

[@nicholecornes1915]

Yes we do

[@winter-qd4yw]

Looking forward to upcoming videos and podcasts! Would love more information on adult brainwashed and/or alienated children. How they behave as adults to targeted parent, how to tell the difference between alienation or if they themselves are narcissistic etc. Can all adult children behave this way as in a pack mentality? By the way, I can’t see a damn thing without my glasses either! Thanks again.

[@jasonsilverberg3170]

Happy St Patrick day 🎉

[@patriciafry8634]

Like the glasses

[@tanyakashyap6944]

🌟🐥🌟

[@joydavis1670]

You say to "take chances, but not on a horse". .... Which brought to mind 🤣 that I could totally take a chance on a horse, dress like the headless horseman, wait until nightfall, show up at the in-laws, trot around a bit, then leave. 🤣🤣🤣 ..... It's not the best idea, but it might be fun. I also might get arrested, so I will pass.

[@tcancella7286]

Are you kidding about getting rid of glasses and dying hair? I like your authentic self, but of course it’s your decision.

[@DarrenFMagee]

I was kidding yes

[@tcancella7286]

@@DarrenFMagee I’m glad you are not creating a false self, but this could be an interesting topic of discussion, how YT and society, as well as manipulative family members encourage us to promote a false self

[@DarrenFMagee]

Thank you for your suggestion

[@J_van_can]

I think Darren is perfect as he is. He’s authentic as they come. Thank you for giving hope to those who from birth never knew anything but narcissistic abuse. I’m glad there is finally awareness. It is truly refreshing to one who is truly grounded and gives sound advice. It gives me hope for the future.. thank you!

[@yvetteandjorgenlarsen9753]

​@@DarrenFMagee If you don't mind me saying, You are beautifully handsome to me. I love the silver! You have the nicest eyebrows. I love your smile. And your skin! Are your eyes blue or hazel or do they change colors? Sorry, all my questions have been bottled up! I find it hard to sit right in front of you day after day for a couple months now and not be able to converse, or even ask you a question! If I could choose just one voice (and accent) to hear the rest of my life, it's definitely yours. Soooo soothing! It's like you know everything I never learned about people and relationships! Oh, you Dear Man! I was just looking at someone else's previous comment, and I saw that you gave me a heart! My very first heart ever! Do you realize those look like you're blowing a kiss?😘😉 God bless you, Darren! I'm really grateful for you, for your insight. You are so real, empathetic. I do wish I could know more about you. Actually, I just wish we could chat and get to know one another a little bit. If I was there, I'd invite you out for a chat over coffee or lunch. I love going camping because it's okay to walk around the campground and say hello, start a little conversation to find out where they're from and who they are. I love to be in touch with my Far Away friends! I'm not your usual tourist; I like to stay in a country for a while, get to know the place. Ireland, Scotland and Wales are places I've always wanted to visit. Have you ever visited the USA? I could be a tour guide for Colorado, as I lived and camped there 20 years, and still have family there. If you ever want to take a sabbatical, I volunteer to be your host. (Us Southerners really ARE friendly! LOL) I'm 71, retired. Come on over and I'll happily take you around the USA. You deserve it! You've really been teaching me a lot, and for free! This truly amazes me. You're a Good Man, Darren Magee.

[@symbolsandsystems]

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