Half in the Bag Episode 16: Fright Night and Conan the Barbarian

[@martinholland8558]

Currently binging half in the bag. I had to start from the beginning because it was confusing how a house ended up at the bottom of the ocean

[@maean7410]

its lake michigan you hack

[@TheAssassin642]

I've just been bouncing around seeing different bits of the story at random times. It's borderline experimental.

[@maean7410]

@@infinitelybanta america is a tropical country

[@ExistenceUniversity]

Same but mine was them being on a mountain

[@benjaminray2]

Or on top of a mountain

[@therealpat5168]

"Big things fall slower than little things. It's how gravity works." - Mike "Newton was a hack" Stoklasa

[@whyjay9959]

You might have missed the point; Big things take longer to fall(and to move in general, for that matter) because they have a greater distance to fall, and don't actually move with greater velocity. No need to get hung up on less than ideal semantics.

[@TemmiePlays]

I was just about to timestamp and comment on this.

[@TemmiePlays]

@@whyjay9959 we understood it, and we like to poke fun at how you can misinterpret what Mike said as a joke. That's why the OP made a joke about it.

[@DuelistRL]

You guys are the best movie critic duo period. You guys actually have your brains turned on.

[@TheDirtyEagles]

Pet Shop these "guys" are actually hackfrauds

[@danielcropp8553]

+DirtyEagles no, these men are pawns!

[@danielcropp8553]

Erik Knutson Yeah, unfortunately they ended up on everyone's hit list.

[@GFSan]

It came from the jack and jill review. "Adam Sandler is hack fraud con man".

[@lilaclunablossom]

@@ThePunk01 You don't have you brain turned on, however...

[@Thagomizer]

You guys really ought to do a re:View on the 1982 Conan the Barbarian.

[@jeremydaly8293]

You mean the greatest goddamn movie ever made? OR at least the best intro

[@shanecochran2491]

Agreed on both flicks

[@SnausageKing]

Also Basil P doing the themes to that one, and robocop, and starship troopers

[@nunyanunya4147]

no this is like the AVGN dotn show them good movies!

[@JakeyFlake]

The amount of old classic movies Mike has never seen is astonishing.

[@peeeepthis]

he's too busy rewatching Star Trek

[@mendeleyev1790]

@Bonechip conan is more like abba

[@rrmenton8016]

Ive noticed that too. It made me think they should start a new series like re:view, only its jay recommending movies that mike missed along the way to fill in his gaps in movie history, then jay and mike can review and talk about it. The can call it "Jay helps Mike fill in his gaps."

[@Viceroy_Sundercles_III]

@@rrmenton8016 “Jay plugs Mike’s holes.”

[@msplendor]

Guest starring: the love saw

[@1722blackbart]

You guys should do a re: View of the original Conan the Barbarian. That is a great movie that has stood the test of time.

[@nickseverny1298]

I'm up to sign a petition haha. Was a bit disappointed Jay didn't talk about the Arnold movie for a couple of mins

[@allgonoemo4217]

That aint it chief

[@maskon1724]

Plot synopsis: Conan either fucks it or fights it.

[@matthaught4707]

@@maskon1724 or both!

[@sleepykoinu]

"my cat's in the bedroom, leave him alone. He's working on a project." This line is just really funny to me

[@brodi81]

I really like the original and the remake of Fright Night. RIP Anton.

[@jackashworth3956]

Mike is definitely the better comedic actor however when Jay gets it right, he really gets it right

[@slowburntm3584]

I can't even remember them making a new Conan, must be a real winner.

[@CarlSlime]

I tried to google "Is Conan 2011 supposed to be funny?" because I honestly don't know but all I got was websites explaining in detail why Conan O'Brien isn't funny.

[@Gayestskijumpever]

The Simpsons episodes he wrote say otherwise.

[@zetetick395]

_Thaaaaat's Google!_

[@turtleanton6539]

@@Gayestskijumpever ❤❤

[@thechallenger752]

He’s better than Jimmy Kimmel, Jimmy Fallon, and Steven Colbert.

[@deadflowers7017]

@@thechallenger752 That's not saying much.

[@brunorubio]

I'm so glad that someone remembered the terrible Kull the Conqueror. I saw it in theater. I was the one.

[@SuperOrangeOrange]

I did not realize the story in these episodes continues from one to another. I had just been watching random episodes before I realized. Now I’m back at the start going from one to the next. Much better.

[@nunyanunya4147]

ah shit... is ther elike a play list or something?

[@msplendor]

​@nunyanunya4147 look up Jack ward rlm

[@karl_alan]

I love that someone finally brought up Rich's laugh...thought I was crazy that it is such a big thing for me when I hear it, but no one ever addressed it before.

[@Chillton]

I remember absolutely nothing about this Conan. Yet I can describe each scene from John Milius' one from listening to Basil Poledouris' soundtrack

[@psyko444]

For me best soundtrack ever

[@nicholasvinen]

@@psyko444 all Basil Poledouris soundtracks are amazing. Hunt for Red October. Red Dawn. Robocop. Starship Troopers. Conan the Barbarian. Quigley Down Under. Hot Shots Part Deaux. For Love of the Game.

[@JTC545]

I forgot both of these movies existed

[@MancoNinja]

You're not the only one

[@turtleanton6539]

Never heard of them

[@Faceplay2]

I loved the 2011 fright night. I was the perfect age of a teenager when I saw it though. I also like the original one as well. But especially as someone that lives in Vegas I thought it was really cool to base the movie out there.

[@Megafauna1]

23:42 There actually is a remake of "Beaches." It's a TV movie and it's supposed to be terrible. Mike prophesies once again.

[@tompelach4842]

No one brought up the fact that Mike kept referring to Colin Ferrel as Colin Firth?

[@turnthonkee]

😂😂 was thinking that, I'm assuming nobody knew him as an actor well back then, so u kinda heard his name once and then went w what u Thought u heard (Colin Ferr..th?)

[@vdochev]

You should record audio tracks for movies with nothing else but Rich Evans' laughter so we can start it with the movie and enjoy the "Rich Evans Experience".

[@heatherdale5571]

LOVED the Fight Night remake...fun, schlocky and great performances from Anton and Collin..,probably my favorite performance from CF...just a fun romp...love both the original and this version equally for different reasons :)

[@VonDiesel3768]

Mike really gets Kesha's lyrical style.

[@MrLuciusrm]

Still waiting for Kevin sorbo guest starring

[@tycho_m]

unfortunately Sorbo went down the young earth creationism evangelist rabbit hole

[@BulletproofLeprosy]

that slowed down Shower With Your Dad Simulator music at the beginning just made that opening scene a million times better

[@SebastianMikulec]

I sometimes like going back and watching these early episodes where Jay doesn't yet have a beard and Mike doesn't yet have dementia.

[@tonygriego6382]

Well, to be fair..Conan was indeed born on a battlefield.

[@jamo4614]

I had my friends watch Conan hoping we would have fun laughing at a bad movie. Now I have less friends.

[@streetdogg8206]

fewer

[@tristan8940]

Hey, maybe he has the same number of friends, they're just not nearly as loyal or intimate... Would that be "lesser"? Ahh, fuck it.

[@ianlinn596]

I'll be your friend. :D

[@MrUser324234]

Aaaw... really wanted to know Jay's opinion of the original Conan the barbarian

[@DJosAmmel]

21:22 #MikeStoklasa (totally low-key): "Like George Lucas said, 'Special effects are a tool.'" A decade on, *still* fucking savage.

[@johnnyskinwalker4095]

The original Fright Night is one of my favorite movies of all time but strangely I didn't hate the remake. I should have and I didn't want them to remake it. But taken as it is, from the acting to the directing, it wasn't that bad.

[@judsongaiden9878]

What would happen if someone got the brainwave to remake or reboot Krull? *Edit:* Yes, Krull, not Kull.

[@aryehatreyu606]

Rich Evans' laugh is absolutely wonderful

[@itstallulahhh]

I worked with the dude who did the Children of Men car interior shots. He gave me a ride back from the set. His car is tiny and he drives with his knees nest to his elbows

[@deltav864]

@@DruNature Not to mention the awesome long takes, the excellent performances and a story that doesn't insult your intelligence. That movie has been rock solid in my top 5 of all time.

[@rockyseverino9230]

I keep hearing about children of men. I need to watch it.

[@Arthezius]

@@rockyseverino9230 did you ever watch it?

[@adriangore850]

Watch Conan 2011 with a friend, drunk off our asses, and laughed all the way through. Glad we rented and weren't in a crowded theater... ooh...

[@turtleanton6539]

It would be empty

[@randysandals]

just realizing that jay is drinking sierra nevada glissade, a golden bock which i think was their spring seasonal for a while and i have not seen it in a LONG time and now i miss it. great beer. RIP

[@robt.v.8688]

People like Rich Evans is why I still love going to the movies. I like that energy you get with an audience. Seeing the first Hulk movie with a packed theater made for some great commentary.

[@zap4156]

Mike: "It's amazing how we don't appreciate special effects today. Especially 3D." Also Mike: "Oh it's a cartoon movie, so it's whatever. Doesn't matter."

[@artemkurteev]

Mike looks as healthy as Jay here. Amazing

[@filipvelickovic5667]

Why is the backround music from the game Tropico ?

[@tomaka121]

yeah i notced that too :D

[@LosBerkos]

Because Tropico > Conan the Barbarian

[@Bwethhh]

I wonder if Mike saw the 2017 remake of Beaches

[@minorshan]

HA! Mike is getting his Beaches remake for real. It just took a few years.

[@surlyandroid]

Fright Night was a flop? I was there to see it and was pleasantly surprised by how much I enjoyed it.

[@surlyandroid]

Also WTF is Conan? 2011 was one of the summers where I saw every movie I could (even that Jim Carey penguin shit) and I've never heard of that remake.

[@amittoibis]

Conan o'Brien

[@johnnycage6729]

The only remake I want to see that will never be done: The Rocketeer. Everything else will be remade.

[@bul13ts]

Welcome to 2017, where The Rocketeer is already in production! WE'L REMAKE *EVERYTHING!!!*

[@zetetick395]

I'm waiting for Zack Snyder to remake Eraserhead.

[@gigan2444]

@@zetetick395 I can't wait for JarJar Abrams to make a new Indiana Jones that completely disregards the last movie in the series.

[@jinvid]

23:36 I COULD NOT STOP LAUGHING AT YOUR BEACHES REMAKE!!

[@hteixeiraify]

Gravity makes big things fall slower than little things? Weird concept he proposes. Loved the Tropico game music.

[@fex144]

Henrique Teixeira Big structures that break apart need time to fall to the ground. Several seconds at least (see avalanches, or 9/11). Tiny models that are foot tall goes *poink*. Done. So moviemagic slows down the explosion of a model to make it appear to be larger.

[@chrisstorrer]

I was chagrined when Mike brought up Kull the Conqueror... I saw that movie in theaters...a

[@StubenhockerElite]

Kevin Sorbo watches RLM, 100%.

[@ThomasHaberkorn]

All masses fall at the same rate. Yours truly, Galileo Galilei

[@Tetuous]

+ThomasHaberkorn I'm not sure if this is an attempt at humour or just entirely missing the point.

[@ThomasHaberkorn]

+Tetuous I can't remember either way

[@zetetick395]

Except the Catholic ones.

[@noone3216]

It feels like it may have been genuine. For context, when Mike said that, he meant visually. Eg. big crane falling over takes a little while to finish hitting the ground. Model crane falling over hits the ground in a fraction of a second. So the footage of small thing gets slowed down to make it seem like big thing.

[@ThomasHaberkorn]

spot on@@noone3216

[@bryannorton8945]

Nice to see you guys drinking Sierra Nevada from my hometown haha

[@kingdavey90]

That car scene clip from Children.of Men is amazing.

[@TheBrendon67]

Colin Firth. He would have been a very different vampire! They’d need to call it “ The King’s Screech”. I figure there would need to be a saved by the bell reference or two.

[@traguna00]

Ive never seen beaches. But i would watch the crap out of mike’s pitched remake of beaches. Hell yes.

[@jotade2098]

"Big things fall slower than little things, That´s how gravity works."

[@noone3216]

Are you actually confused? Or just doing the thing where you quote someone out of context to make them sound retarded? If it's the former, he means visually. A big building exploding takes a while to finish hitting the ground. A small model of a building exploding goes down in a second. So the footage of a model gets slowed down to make it appear like a big thing exploding, because, to quote a wise old man: you may not have noticed it, but your brain did.

[@clayicus]

@@noone3216I mean, to be fair, it is pretty funny that Mike is sanctimoniously saying “that’s how gravity works” when it’s actually the opposite of how gravity works and is just how visual perception works

[@streetdogg8206]

What do you mean you haven't seen the original Conan. I'm in shock.

[@timhicks94]

I was expecting and hoping that the guys to compare old and new Conan movies , but they didn't

[@guybrushmonkey97]

I actually enjoyed the Fright Night remake a lot, even though the original is much better

[@co81385]

I'm in the same boat as you. I thought that the remake was good for what it was, and I appreciated what they did with it.

[@benaaronmusic]

Thanks for my new band name: Kevin Sorbo at the Pump

[@bul13ts]

You guys perfectly summed up my feelings on Conan the Barbarian (2011). I'll always love that pile of shit!

[@bul13ts]

And shout out to Kull the Conqueror! My other favorite pile of shit!

[@deepwooddenizen]

god jay is so much hotter now

[@ravenbarnes3872]

Not to me!

[@ravenbarnes3872]

He is nice now but I reaaaally liked him back then!

[@tomneu6937]

Gay

[@thartwig]

like a cackling goblin that one, I love it

[@muthesquirrel]

"He 'nose' that he can lead him to the bad guy." Ahhhhh. Ha.

[@SgFlaxy]

22:33 What do you mean, real blood?!

[@andret3739]

Real fake blood

[@Lifelover992011]

Conan starts at: 9:30

[@immotyn]

23:38 I’m losing my mind: where else I have heard this piano track? Also, came here to ask for re:View of original Conan.

[@immotyn]

Must be from The Eric Andre Show, they definetly would use some stock music

[@Mekkkor]

Anyone know the song at the beggining?

[@BlackJester57]

I would also like to know

[@freddykruelgirl]

Please does anyone know

[@BlackJester57]

it sounds so familiar but i just can't put my finger on where I've heard it

[@guybrushmonkey97]

It's the song they used in the last episode. Also, it is the menu music from Shower With Your Dad Simulator 2015

[@SuperDoobyDo]

@@guybrushmonkey97 Thank you, dude! For anyone who thinks he's kidding-he is not :P

[@CosmicUndeadElf]

20:17 Optimus Prime's voice

[@bwill325]

I dont remember seeing the original or the remake, but I fee like I have heard the story of Fright Night. Its a weird feeling to have something be familiar and not at the same time.

[@YAH2121]

Rich at the end made me wheeze

[@Formulka]

you have to get Kevin Sorbo as a guest, he is a legend of the 90s :P

[@JosephKeenanisme]

Mike - you summed it up.... Special effects are a given. Hopefully the crap like these will tank and they will start focus on the stories. I've been watching the crap out of Indy and small company films. I'm more impressed with those. The production values might be lower, might not be that million dollar look.... But some have great effects when you know it's being done for under 20k, filmed in a park, ect. What stands out about the good ones (everyone's first few films suck as they are learning their craft) is that they are focusing on the story with no budget and having to make the most out of every penny they put into their project.

[@apugalypse_now]

@RedLetterMedia Did Jay enjoy his Sierra Nevada Nooner Pilsner?

[@StuntmanJake]

I always find it shocking the movies that Mike hasn’t seen. I hated the new Conan movie. The original Conan the Barbarian and Destroyer were awesome. Such a shame that Hollywood had to go screw up a perfectly good opportunity to restart the franchise.

[@gratler]

its funny how i saw this movie a view years ago and i cant remember anything about it.

[@Brandon12983]

6:15 Theatrical release and Bluray versions are both 106 minutes... What version did they watch that was exactly 2 hours?

[@v1deo.hunter.d317]

Jay looks so shlubby in the old videos

[@noone3216]

He looks like a futurama character. Like Fry's cousin or something

[@AlfredSoul]

The shot at 1:35 broke my mind.

[@richarddimeck4578]

Have RLM reviewed Dog Soldiers or The Descent yet? Some good brittish horror

[@OldNoEyes]

Holy shit, a "Beaches" reference? What a deep cut.

[@jacobbuckels8554]

I wonder if that house they showed for the opening skit has sold yet, it has a for sale sign in the window lol

[@MrDippicusPrime]

Can you please release that song you made on itunes?

[@OneUponADime]

Kull The Conquerer is Conans dad, fun fact

[@whyjay9959]

Wasn't the battlefield Conan was born in their own village? Kinda makes sense that even the pregnant women fight if the whole tribe is already in danger.

[@92brunod]

pregnant women sure. 9 month pregnant women, no.

[@joyofcookies]

In spring 2012 I had the worst flu I’ve ever had. I was in bed for a week drifting in and out of sleep. I bought the first season of Game of Thrones to watch on my Kindle Fire and drifted in and out of consciousness while watching. At some point something reminded me that a Conan remake had happened in the last year and I was curious. When I looked it up on Amazon it only had it for sale and not for rent. I didn’t want to buy it, but dammit I was sick and I NEEDED to watch it…so I bought it. It sits in my Prime account as a reminder to not purchase things while mentally impeded. (Though, it’s also become a comfort movie to watch when I’m sick) But also, handily, it was there for me to scan for the tiny building explosion Mike talked about. (I didn’t remember it.) That gave me a good chuckle.

[@stanley13579]

That moment when Mike predicted the Beaches remake... Oh my Gooooooood.....

[@tommc3622]

9 years ago: Mike: "If movies like this keep tanking, they'll have to actually make the story good. They'll have to actually make a good movie." ... Back when you were a poor, innocent, hack fraud...

[@DogmeatDied989]

OH MY GOD! I know that background music. It the main theme of the video game Tropico 5.

[@unchartedexe]

Great ending!

[@snailcorepistolwhippits9488]

Boy, Mike says Colin Firth a lot of times for no reason.

[@ravencross7779]

I definitely don't always agree with these guys! I love fright night

[@kindaawkwardbro]

What is the song at the very end of the episode?

[@posthumanoid]

DINNER'S IN THE OVEN~~~ -Evil Ed

[@bomberjoe9166]

Wait... THERE WAS A FRIGHT NIGHT REMAKE?

[@pablorogers6389]

"Colin Firth"

[@AnthonyAdrianAcker]

Admittedly, Arnolds Conan movies are intentionally funny as well.

[@opsimathics]

I would love to see Kevin Sorbo and the hack frauds in the show. talk about Andromeda, etc

[@fluffygutts2240]

Is that the music from the Tropico games in the background?????

[@jingles009]

I took my wife to see this movie and both of us has absolutely no remembrance of any of this movie.

[@JeanaMarina]

When he jokes about Beaches being remade........ Lol You know, cause they are...... (Mike's version sounds way better by the way)

[@johnashley327]

Just spit my 🍺 out when you said my 👃.

[@m.w.n.360]

best intro!