Relationship Killers - The R Spot Episode 21

[@lauraleeBolger]

neglect is the worst feeling ever. takes just a minute to be present to the person that you care for. thanks for the posts cheers

[@ginsengbaby]

This woman is a great pearl sent to us. Always to the point! God bless you.

[@bcvc3365]

yes I needed to hear this today. Boggles my mind how anyone can stay in a relationship. I'm a highly sensitive person, and have been called an Empath, so I'm usually hurt by the smallest things.

[@cheryllawson6411]

I am in a relationship (marriage) for over 40 years and am at many points raised by your words I have carried inner sadness, needs, tears, heartache and many other deep routed draining feelings...i know a decision has to be made soon before I'm destroyed as AN INDIVIDUAL person with Independanxr NEEDS and WANTS. I feel as if I'm dying emotionally. Thanks for your words of encouragement and growth through listening to your words. THANK YOU AND GOD BLESS YOU.

[@AraceliLS]

This is so true 😢 "You don't want to kill somebody with a thousand paper cuts". Yes, that's exactly what it feels like

[@ShadowsMasquerade]

She delivers the truth in a humorous way. Great advice.

[@voxthatrox70]

What type of people "dislike" this video? It's the truest of truth and there are people who don't get it?!?! I'm Stumped

[@blessedandbeautiful8365]

Angry and closed people. Truth hurts. “When truth comes we fear it bc we’ve programmed to fear it.” - Ms. Lauryn Hill In church, momma and them they told the truth without love. They weren’t ill intended but they taught us to be scared of the truth or else you’ll die or they’ll beat you to death for disobeying. They had truth but misused it.

[@sabrina.natalie]

There are so many forms of neglect, it's insane

[@chukabucka]

she's God sent 💫

[@julierobinson8173]

Iyanla knows this because she has experienced these things, that's why she's so authentic 🙏🏽

[@djvaughn2367]

As the tears flowed from my eyes, I began to realise😔💜🙏 Thank you Iyanyla 😘😘

[@stept2118]

You need your own channel, not just a show!

[@annagenuine1799]

thank you so much I really needed to hear that I've been married for 24 years and feel that I have to take the lead in every aspect of the marriage. some of the things you spoke on I do and experience I am so glad I found the R spot. I've watched you for a long time on television and always found your advice for others helpful in my life,now I feel that I have you as my own private helpline thank you so much for this channel and all your solid advice I'm going to put into effect everything you talked about thank you for being you stay as true ad you are God Bless.

[@boundsgarneff5157]

Iyanla Vanzant i love u! i've been working on myself since 2014 but in 2015 i found u. I was aware of my broken pieces, & im happy to say im 90% healthy. Relations are complex, the most important is transparency to keep things simple. Thanks for bringing light to our lives 💞

[@robertstanley9633]

Bounds Garneff Amen! 🙌🏼

[@boundsgarneff5157]

robert stanley 🙏 i wish more people would listen to her so they can mend their broken pieces and stop contaminating/poisoning others!

[@NYCCHOCOLATE7777]

Absolutely Positively Agreed, Learned & Practiced Each & Every Day

[@ritetheology]

Miss Iyanla, this was spot on. Love it and love you. Fantastic.

[@IDOObeDIEnceMinistries]

Agreed!

[@IyanlaVanzant]

Beloved, I am going to pray for you and the toxicity of your heart and mind. To put yourself and your name in the world with such disrespect has nothing to do with me. And . . . slapping me may not turn out well for you since I am a mother, a grandmother, a minister and someone's beloved. I apologize to everyone in this thread, that you had to be subjected to this level of vileness. Please join me in blessing this person. There is a deep wound and great hurt here.

[@jonahda0mega]

Iyanla Vanzant 🤣🤣🤣🤣I thought I was a psycho,you are just sooooo fake

[@jenn9640]

oh dear your very bitter aren't you,

[@phylliscasey5626]

You are out of touch with reality. Did she hit a nerve? She telling the truth..

[@MnDdawsonx2]

I just recently found you... Thank you for your messages, they really hit home! I needed to hear this!THANK YOU!

[@beam8250]

You always light up and save my day, Iyanla! Thank you for sharing your wisdom. I'm almost done reading your book, Trust... It's sooooo good!! I love you.

[@leticiamitchell4102]

I love lyanla.....she opens my eyes about alot of things

[@crystalarnoldfortune]

Thankyou for sharing ur wisdom with the world...God bless u.

[@sweetcakes1509]

Wow! Powerful! Blew Me Away! Thank You for Sharing!

[@nicoletteorayn2903]

Wish I could follow u around everywher u go LOL. Just want to sit in on ur teachings and counselling sessions. Got much love for u!

[@edithmaitland2170]

Love you mama i just join your intreasted. Incouraging words keep it up u save us

[@funkuinyuh4800]

thank you Doc. in all my relationships I always want honesty because when am giving I expect nothing in return. Thank you is enough but I rarely have a synergistic relationship no matter how honest I am.

[@Keesh36keesh]

Thank you Iyanla! You have helped me get through some tough times.

[@Jojo111]

You are 100% percent correct. Its not a one way thing. Mostly you find men in such behavior they don't understand the meaning of relationship. If you ask for dialogue, they think you're too carrying such person don't deserve my love.. i move on

[@tonihughes9470]

she said a mouthful ! tell it Sister ! amen

[@NICOLE-sb5so]

True i needed to hear this today...have a bless remainder of your week!!

[@phylliscasey5626]

Thank you for giving me the truth of reality. I am going through a terrible blunt of hurt and betrayal. I listen to you everyday and I am gaining my peace of mind back a little at a time. Thank time for you.

[@raeganmcpherson6333]

Thanks for excellent relationship advice. My whole family LOVE you and your. " I'm just going to call a thing, a thing". Thank you for all of your intellectual, inspirational and motivational works. On here and as well as your show. Both have helped me tremendously. Thank You..... God Bless You

[@fruitsofspirit6903]

Everyone is different, be the best of your authentic self. Set your standards, of what you will accept, don't settle for what your unable to accept. If we are in a relationships where you don't feel valued, loved, respected, move on without that person. Accept others for whom they, where they are at in life. We must nuture relationships, get to know one another, give love, respect, loyaty geunieness. If in your being your true, real, loving authentic self, you don't feel valued, let go without anger, knowing you gave your best self. There is nothing wrong with you, some folks are unable to receive, what is good, there are so many others who will. Knowing when to move on is essential, don't push/force what is not functioning in a healthy, emotional manner!!!!!

[@lalaalin5919]

Before I press play; Thank you mama! I have been waiting for the next episode of the R spot... I love you and I appreciate you 😍😍😍😘😘😘🙄🙄🙄

[@Grahmahshanz]

You are helping me sooooo much. Thank YOU

[@padmaavathi5591]

Iyanla I Just Loveee U....Your words make our Consciousness to wake into a Positive World of Happiness.......Thanks dear.....lots of love dear💞💞💞

[@chaneilspencer320]

I really needed to hear this , thank you so much😘 Keep these videos coming !✨

[@nikkibarrus5710]

Miss Iyanla. Since I found this The R spot. It helps me realize to changed and reset my life to find the peace, love and happiness in my relationship. I'm continue to learn and working on myself. Thank you so much for the knowledge your sharing.

[@mattiethesurfer]

My ex, when she broke up with me, told me at that moment what she needed, but feels she didn’t get from me. The thing is, had I known her needs (had she communicated them to me) I would have worked with her (e.g., compromise). I mentioned this to her during our entire dating relationship: let me know what you need and want. She even said one time, “I don’t know what I need.” Really sad because I bet she thinks it just wasn’t a right relationship, which clearly it wasn’t, but had she communicated with me, things could have been different. Sad.

[@ghettoghost305]

I know this is an old comment but a lot of women are raised to believe that a man is basically GOD……….meaning a man knows all even when we don’t communicate, all powerful meaning he is supposed to protect us under any corcumstance even if it could harm him and all good/perfect, that men doesn’t make mistakes and if so we “deserve better”, which is very flawed. There are a lot of women today that feels they deserve $1,000 dates, the man is supposed to pay all bills although they work, they come before so and so and I don’t believe in that, I feel a lot of women need to humble themselves and understand a man is human just like us and if you don’t communicate your needs, you can’t get mad when they aren’t met.

[@majesticqueenj5725]

Thank you Iyanla for your support an openess. I've done alot of self checking before pointing the finger. Thank you❤

[@alekslipka-kadaj7666]

Great topic! I have never before given thought to the "you matter to me" and consistent relationship care practices. Maybe it's because my parents literally never told me these words and I in turn never spontaneously think to share such a thought. My exes would rather interpret it as "emotionally lazy." I'm expressive and genuinely thankful for a favor from a stranger; less grateful to be high on life with my boo. Practically speaking, how does a workaholic strive toward nurturing others? I recently unknowingly killed a relationship because I was incapable of feeling out the urgency of my partner's need for affirmation. I thought the relationship could be repaired after I made my deadline. It's a shame because I DID care and put in a lot of legwork (just never enough) over 7 years. On the other hand, I found joy in my passion and am marveling at my skills and how far I've come due to creating that space. I can live with this on my conscience. I am grieving, but I'm not a fatalist. Now: Since I have the makings of a successful person, What incentive is there to put my future partner(s) first? >>Blessings

[@sylvia6474]

Iyanla, I'm a Polsh Girl, living now 7 years in Germany. Thank you for the videos and for sharing this help with us. God bless you

[@Im1BossyChick]

Omgoodness, I will be watching this with my Hubby tonight! We already agreed that we need to have a conversation about the state of "Us" & to watch some relationship videos I found; this will be the closer. I feel like Iyanla's calling us out, lol. So many of our traits individually & as a couple are being described here & I hope this sparks change & improved action on both sides. Love you Iya!

[@p_virtuous]

This is amazing. It made my day seeing that you had uploaded another video! lol....I was wondering if you would ever do a video on the topic of sex....abstinence/celibacy, and/or your take on knowing when it's safe to go to that level of intimacy with another.

[@julierobinson8173]

We train people how to treat us 🙏🏽

[@drzfinezt180]

Very well interpreted Priestess! Right on time. In the past I've had unsuccessful relationships because of peoples tendency to wan't to change me at my current state.

[@statingtheobvious7646]

I needed to hear this 2-3 times, lol. Thank you, thank you!!!

[@Chyrisse22]

I listened and received everything you said. I so needed to hear this.

[@mariahb8927]

Ms Iyanla! I love you like you’re my aunt! You always say what I need to hear. Every single thing that you stated in this video resonates with me! Thank you, thank you, thank you!

[@MelanatedGoddess09]

I laughed when she said laziness in the bed. 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 I just love her. She tells the truth. She always has the best smile and a little humor. Sad to say I do most of these. I see why my relationships have failed. I wasn’t willing to do the work. Thanks for the reminder.

[@therenegade1312]

I'm in therapy for my codependcy and trauma from my childhood. I'm learning allot about myself and the choices I have made. It's really hard work I mean really hard work I just starting to be able to see my pattern in myself and others. I'm starting to set boundaries and people get mad at me, ignore me or turn the tables on me when I calmly slowly express what a boundary is for me and when and if it is crossed.

[@julierobinson8173]

People will always show you who they are by what they do 🙏🏽

[@livingwithvee]

Thanks Iyanla I really needed to hear your words of truth and reality.

[@armelseda1070]

I wish i could watch that two years ago. I made so many mistakes and now be is running away. Hope, he will find better place and be happy. I really failed and still regret things I did. Deeply sorry if you are passing by here.

[@claranorise2467]

i really needed to hear this from you.

[@ceiamyatt157]

Yes Thank you !

[@claranorise2467]

and you are right, constant communication is key.

[@nikitanewberry]

Thank you Inyanla...I needed to hear very word...Namaste...Blessings...

[@shondelljames3019]

Thank you Ms. Iyanla! I needed this, I am here

[@destamdoe1310]

thanks alot.. its been helpful

[@asiamohamed1640]

This is very fruitful , everything u address is real in my relationship

[@poohkieness]

that communication piece needs a whole video. We look forward to it.

[@IDOObeDIEnceMinistries]

Agreed!

[@hananbellaismail9254]

Today I just learnt about you Ivanyla, you’re amazing I’m so glad I come across u !!

[@sparksfly2557]

Yes, I've learned this the hard way.

[@camishajames22]

You’re awesome Iyanla👍🏾❤️😁👌

[@johnnybrown2385]

Iyanla u are truly a warrior for the Lord I love to watch and listen to u. Thank u for being u and keep on keeping on. Citations beloved

[@julierobinson8173]

Trust is fragile 💔

[@deejackson1187]

I needed that. Thank you Iyanla.

[@MsMarkeila]

Were you talking directly to me? Omg this is for me

[@agilly3]

I needed to hear that today!!! Thank you! Amen

[@javiertaylor6215]

I luv u I listen to fix my life a lot and I think that u are a good motivator u have inspired my life 💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕

[@roryyoooo]

Iyanla, I have watched you for years and I value your words. I found this video useful, but I am slightly confused with one thing. I would like to know, how do I ask for what I need, but at the same time not ask the other person to change? Is there a way to do this? Regards, Rory

[@Seli-yaa]

My God Iyanla! Bless you ma' ✨💖

[@lindsay5348]

Wow !!!!!!!!did I ever need that !!!!!!You are an angel 🙏😇

[@rashideighttwo9320]

Definitely needed to hear this

[@jamesasenji3235]

Thank you Ma for the guidance and knowledge

[@nicoler3219]

Yes dear today I am the one that needed to hear

[@FeliciaRedmondlishar91]

needed this message! Thanks

[@claranorise2467]

well, i think your right Aunte. somebody did need to hear this ME!. and you are constant communication is key and boi......am i glad you answered this call.

[@princesscrystalisnice5417]

I feel I in the wrong relationship covering up my need. Just to make the other person feel good which is wrong.

[@alexz1105]

Thank you, Iyanla. Much love. I have a question though. Is there such a thing as privacy in a marriage?

[@sylviascott5632]

Thanks for make this video

[@edric01prim77]

great info

[@MsFitKitty]

You need to know your partners love language

[@agapeagencyofvirginia793]

Yes yes yes and yes!!!!!

[@btheobsous4619]

i always cry at the end!!! at the half of the video i was like "oh, Amen to that" thank you sooooooo much Iyanla for the informations you share with us. And always thank God for people like you.. and Be sure that we practice you're words to the real life and we work hard to make our relationships better and to help others do it as well... kisses from GR! ❤👍😊

[@millicentihedioha4918]

YEAH BABY I NEEDED TO HEAR THAT..ALL OF THAT....GOD BLESS U IYANLA....LUV U INFINITO

[@YaEliRoCz]

Iyanla you have a beautiful laugh. It is filled with joy and I love hearing it

[@mrhymer95]

One of your best messages!

[@jodinewhite3621]

Thank you for this video

[@sparksfly2557]

lol love you, so on point, I need you in my pocket. Thank you for sharing your love of knowledge.

[@hisqueen7640]

Thank you for sharing your wisdom ❤️

[@MegaZedlav]

She covered it all hope a lot of us understand it!

[@francinaprice1019]

LOVE IT! Teach...

[@naturallydope6971]

great advice great advice

[@Jawanastar30]

i just broke up with a man who had my son's(not his child) s.s. number written on his mail..... im i wrong for ending the relationship completely or do i over react like he claims???

[@brittanyb5942]

Jawanastar30 I would have ended it completely too!

[@mady4443]

Jawanastar30 What was his excuse?? I'm thinking taxes or life insurance, you're doing right to protect your child.

[@Jawanastar30]

+Tiffany Hearn his excuse was lottery number (side eye)

[@bernardmcdonald1215]

Breakwater

[@yanelopez6481]

after you broke up with him, report it as stolen...

[@missBonita318]

Iyanla, I could listen to you 24/7. Your wisdom amazes this gal. God Bless you, for helping us heal & get healthy one step at a time

[@mrs.cherishs1n188]

I just love the R spot.. thanks so much Miss Iyanla.

[@natnat0576]

Drops Mic!!!!

[@francineantonio-brand2328]

I needed this 🤧 so right & I know this myself ... saw the signs & crying at looking in his eyes asking Whyyyyyy do want me????? Trust is gone & it has rotted our marriage ...I am so disappointed... what happened to us .. I accept my part 100% but, I never cheated or desired another man ... I was in love, but enough... I love me ... that profile pic was our wedding 9/6/2014

[@isabelschroeder7633]

love this women, great advice

[@MsCanadagirl123]

Would you ever say a relationship can survive physical abuse ? Can you do s video on this

[@kingtime5489]

I needed your help your helping me out a lot I have someone that I love and care about and I want to change to be a better man to my heart

[@jujubee90275]

Mama Iyanla❤

[@vfry7896]

Hi Ms.Iyanla! Enjoyed this clip

[@wilsonajames]

I need a video on workplace relationships. These are partially relevant to the workplace but how do I mold these to work with people who don’t have an emotional attachment to me?

[@shamoorewallace9199]

Blessed day...i really need to hear this...eveything directs to my situation right now.. sigh am so stressed.. Ms Iyanla 😣 what if the person pretend to be someone at first so that is the person your trying to get back? But it don't seem like that is going to happen.. and your already head deep that it's destroying you? 😔😔😭😭😭💔