Ren - Su!cIde (ADHD Reaction) | THE REN THAT BROKE ME...

ADHD REACTOR REACTS TOO... REN
Ren - Su!cIde
Brain Squeeze Lyrical Breakdown/Reaction.
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#renmakesmusic #renreaction #ren ‪@RenMakesMusic‬

[@brainsqueezereactions]

Youre all just beautiful people...❤❤ Im reading every comment but finding this one a little tricky to not feel upset as I do (in a lovely way). Im extremely grateful and forever thankful for every comment, as its just love, love and more love on top of you just taking time to watch. Just keep being amazing ❤❤

[@Hexenkind1]

I think you found "your people" again. I knew you would after watching countless tupac reactions and always thinking to myself "I hope he does more ren soon". :D

[@DakotaDogProductionsAk83]

I’m here for you, because your authenticity helps me to heal and be my true self. Can’t thank you enough…

[@constitutionalknightofcere6651]

Great reaction to a tuff subject. The follow up song to this is "For Joe" the live performance. It's a hard thing to deal with that forever changes you. Peace and Blessings to you and yours

[@JoelMyaer]

High Five! You had me for every second! Favorite reaction channel hands down, even tho one was up for a minute to do the high five! LOL 😅

[@richardvasquez664]

Ren "modern day prophet".

[@sciaticsfletcher]

Mad respect for what you did with your discord. It's never a bad decision to make a right choice brother.

[@brainsqueezereactions]

I appreciate that alot 😊😊 thank you ❤

[@sciaticsfletcher]

@@brainsqueezereactions and I appreciate the good and love you're spreading! Haters can go f*ck oneselves! 🤘😉

[@sciaticsfletcher]

And stayed for the whole reaction. Sorry to hear about your friend, I lost my brother in law last January(2023) by his own decree, so this one breaks me everytime. But I have to hear it at the same time. Cheers and keep em coming Hector!

[@carlahelin5203]

@@sciaticsfletcherso sorry. Dang. 😢

[@sciaticsfletcher]

@@carlahelin5203 thank you! 🙏❤️

[@davideastham]

RIP to Joe Hughes and to anyone else that has lost someone or has thought about it. I know I have. Love to you all and love to you Hector ❤

[@debthecpn]

Glad you are still in the world. Hugs 🤗

[@davideastham]

@@debthecpn 🤗

[@Threadbow]

Lost friends I'm so glad yr here with us. Hope Ren helps you

[@davideastham]

@@Threadbow Ren, Sam Tompkins, the whole Reniverse.

[@gminusmark]

He wrote the last verse after talking with Knox Hill! He was inspired to add it on to the end, Then he expanded it as a full song & performed it live as "For Joe" Better do that one next! Although, for full context you could squeeze in Freckled Angels an earlier tribute to Joe, That would make more sense when you hear "For Joe"

[@Johnknowsstuff]

When Ren's best friend jumped from the Menai bridge, and Ren got there literally minutes too late to stop him, a different Ren was created. Neither him or YOU should hold onto any feelings of guilt. They are destructive and have nothing positive to offer. The only value is being able to understand that people can appear to be fine but in a moment, it all changes. Watched until the end as if it was, in some way, a show of support or appreciation. Remember how much help you are giving to people as you break down these tracks. ❤ Look up the quotation from Sherrilyn Kenyon about going through things. 'The strongest steel'...

[@pointlesslab4179]

Age 16 my dad tried to take his life in front of me but failed. That night some cord snapped and I grew a kind of shell around my feelings. That’s not been broken until hearing this song and I listened again and again in tears knowing that it was time for the wall to crumble. I’m 49. The pure grief here is like a spear, it goes straight to the heart. He might have Druid blood.

[@allenstrickland8900]

😢😭🫶🫶🫶❤❤❤🤜🤛❤❤❤ Ren is definitely a fucking druid, man. His music finds the crack and smashes it wide open so that we can heal our pains...much love and virtual hugs to you✌️

[@pointlesslab4179]

@@allenstrickland8900 thank you

[@Sunshiningme-jj9of]

@@pointlesslab4179 I know this kind of grief too. And I carried that shell for many years. It's true. Ren finds the words and sounds that combined make Thor's Hammer, straight to the heart. He shattered my shell too and I've finally, finally begun to process and accept the depths of my grief. I'm so sorry that you felt this too. Love the connection that allows you to find healing in Ren's music though. Peace and prayers. 🙏❤️🙏❤️🙏

[@pointlesslab4179]

@@Sunshiningme-jj9of thanks and here’s to healing 🍻

[@overthinker4094]

Ren's roller-coaster ride its not always a smooth ride but most definately worth it. ❤❤

[@GoblinMom]

To see your pain when I am so used to seeing your joy is f’ing breaking my heart. Try not to carry that guilt, easy to say hard to do I know. Just remember all the people you have touched and made smile and in some way have brightened their day.

[@carlahelin5203]

I got very emotional watching his reaction. 😢

[@Emilie-one]

Same. It hurt my heart to see his pain. I am used to joy. I hope Ren didn’t break him again….love ya, Hector❤️❤️❤️

[@vivienneclarke2421]

I almost lost my daughter last year in the exact same situation. She attempted to jump from a suspension bridge over the Delaware River.Thank God she called me to come get her dog,who was in the car with her. The police got to her in time and I wasnt far behind. I've listened to this song at least 100 times and still end up sobbing by the end. Every. Time.

[@FearDaReaper]

I’m glad everything worked out for you

[@Bearlissimo]

I'm so glad your daughter gets a chance to see life get a bit better, keep dancing kiddo!

[@pointlesslab4179]

Thank God. I really think this song will help nudge people in the direction of life if they realise how much pain they would leave behind

[@FearDaReaper]

@@pointlesslab4179 it was hi ren that did that for me. I’d never been so close to suicide, then lost my cousin to suicide the same time. Then I found hi ren and it literally saved me.

[@Lynnysmusic]

I found Ren 9 months before my sons second attempt of *S*. He's very ill and God willing one day be free from his pain. As a mother I can relate to this song and Ren. I feel his pain, humble myself, shout my angry voice, show compassion, feel sick to the core, and still show my unconditional love and wonder if this will be the last time. Yes it's deep but in all honesty isn't life? Thank you for your support Mark and Ren you are one in a million 💚

[@Tinkerbell9332]

This one...this one has meaning to me. I lost a brother to an overdose and I never commented on anything on KZbin before but that song started me commenting. It really hit me hard . This is a powerful song. Thank you for covering this one

[@brainsqueezereactions]

I hope I don't let the message down and equally this one hurt too. It's not a connection that's celebrated but do feel that pain is what helps to work on that recovery ❤❤

[@Tinkerbell9332]

@@brainsqueezereactions Very true. It's been a couple years since we lost him, but all you can do is try to look at the bright side. He was also an organ donor and saved 3 peoples lives. I try very hard to be and stay a positive person in this world

[@carlahelin5203]

Sorry about your brother. (((hugs)))

[@DakotaDogProductionsAk83]

@@Tinkerbell9332 I too lost my brother to overdose. Me and him watched hi ren over and over. He died from his overdose April 29, and then a few months later Ren released this song. I hope you find strength and joy today in your brother’s memory.❤️‍🩹

[@Tinkerbell9332]

​@@DakotaDogProductionsAk83 I do . His birthday is this month and I never realized how much of an influence he actually was on me until he wasn't there. I have many good memories. Thank you so much!🫂

[@lawrencesmith6536]

Oh boy. Here we go!! Fuck the haters. I appreciate you. I am 72 yrs old; been in love with popular music from day one. Every now and then a game changer comes along. Not very often; but once in a great while. Ren is a musical/cultural game changer

[@geralynsteppe5974]

Ren said that Joe was the funniest guy he ever knew; it seems to be a common characteristic of people hiding inner pain.

[@RoMacin724]

This is a tough one but thank you for hanging in there with your review. "HUGS" If you want to talk we're in the rabbit hole for you

[@Renagade999]

We certainly are!!!!❤❤❤

[@carlahelin5203]

Thanks for allowing yourself to be so vulnerable. We care. Your story choked me up. 😢

[@MoreKellBellPlease]

I love that you didn't put out your negative review on the yes video. Another reactor I really like, Rika Shae, does the same. He said he's done lots of reviews of songs he didn't like, but he just scraps them and doesn't put that negativity in the world. Music is subjective. And this song breaks everyone. At his premiere of this song, I swear the whole internet was crying.

[@BeccaleemarieBleu]

❤😢You’re right, that was a rough day, many many tears were definitely shed❤

[@LeeannG]

I like that too. I def don’t love when people lie, so I’d rather the negative as long as it’s respectful. But I love hearing what people love, not what music makes their ears bleed lol

[@hilarycharman-2924]

What Ren told us.... Today I want to write something beautiful and eloquent but I’ve been staring at my computer screen for the past 10 minutes blankly. So I’ll just write. Today, the 1st of June is my friend Joe’s birthday. I first met Joe when I was 8 years old, my friend Josh said I had to meet this guy, so we both walked over to his, it took about 10 minutes from my house. I was greeted by this kid covered head to toe in freckles, he grinned at us, climbed onto the back of his sofa and screamed “Swanton Bomb!” then front flipped off the top and landed right onto his back on a stone floor. He lay still for a moment, twitched a few times, then got up, grinned at us, brushed himself off, and did it again. This was Joe. He’d do anything to make people laugh. He ended up becoming one of my best friends. He was there when we stole our first cigarettes out of his mums pack, way too young. He was there when I had my first kiss, with a girl twice my size on the back of the 42 bus. He was there when I first got so drunk I threw up in the woods after drinking as much white lightning Cider as we could. I was there when he did his first backflip on skates, and saw him do a 720 off of the pier cave, that moment became legendary. Joe was the funny one in our friend group, he’d make us laugh till it hurt. No one had a bad word to say about him. It was impossible not to like him. Usually we put celebrities, athletes and actors on pedestals, turn them into role models and admire them from a far. The person I admired was Joe. Him and Sagar knew every word to the songs id write, we’d get drunk at parties and they’d be singing along as loud as they could. It gave me a lot of confidence back then. On Christmas Eve 2010 I was sitting in a pub with Joe, he’d been feeling low after a couple of consecutive break ups. He tried to check himself into a mental health outpatient facility a few weeks earlier but they turned him away because he didn’t have an appointment. He turned to me and said that sometimes he wished he could just walk into the sea and keep walking. He said it in a kind of half joking throw away comment type of way, then took a sip of his drink, walked over to the juke box and put Dig by Incubus on. If I knew that was the last time I’d see Joe id have hugged him, told him how much I loved him, how much I looked up to him, how much we all loved him, and I wouldn’t have left that pub. I didn’t know that, so I finished my drink, said happy Christmas and left. Two nights after Christmas I got woken up by a phone call at 3am, it was my friend Ella. She told me Joe was on the Menai Bridge, a large suspension bridge connecting the main land to the isle of Anglesey where we lived. He’d been on the phone to her in tears saying goodbye. He told her to tell everyone he loved them. I pulled on my clothes as fast as I could and started running toward the bridge. It was up a hill. I lived about a ten minute walk away, I could run it in five. As I ran I started dialling then redialing his number. The line was busy, which was a good sign, it meant he was still on the phone to someone. As I got about halfway, the busy tone changed. It told me the line was out of service. I got a sinking feeling and picked up my speed. I arrived to the bridge minutes after I left my house. It was deafeningly quiet. I was the first person to arrive. I got there probably about 2 minutes too late. Joe’s body was never found. Initially we refused to believe he was gone. The coastguard came out that night, with boats, and helicopters. Me and my friends spent the next 10 days putting up missing posters everywhere we could, walking up and down beaches with flashlights, getting about 3 hours sleep a night. When you’re walking up and down a beach with a torch when its dark everything looks like a body. We still haven’t found Joe. As his birthday came around, I wrote a song, freckled angels, a song I dedicated to Joe which I sang in front of his friends and family. A charity football match was put on for him, raising money for the RNLI where I won two bottles of wine in a raffle, I drank them both as quickly as I could, naturally, turned to my friend and probably slurred something along the lines of “This is the last time I ever drink” That was 12 years ago, I haven’t touched a drop of alcohol since. My first ever album I named Freckled Angels in tribute of one of the best people I ever knew. Skip forward some years. I’d been sitting on this song I wrote a few years ago. It always felt a little incomplete. It was going to be my next release, but I was dreading it because of this feeling of incompletion. I decided, very last minute, to do something about it. I sat by my piano, and the rest of the song fell out of me. I hadn’t thought about Joe in a little while, and the song initially wasn’t going to be about him, but the words all fell out of me. I wrote and recorded a whole 2 minutes extra, recording each part as I wrote it. Tears spewing out of my eyes pretty much the whole time, and decided not to do my usual thing of perfecting each line, I just recorded every line as it came. This will be my next release. You can turn on notifications by following the link in the comments below During this campaign I will be raising money for the RNLI, the group of brave men and women who spent hours tirelessly looking for Joe after the night he went missing. I'll also be donating 50% of the profit on all copies of the 'Freckled Angels' album directly to Joes family as a nice surprise gift. I will include links to the RNLI donation page below where 100% of the money will go to support them, I will be travelling to the UK later this month to make a music video, and have carved out a couple of days where I will travel to my home town on the isle of Anglesey to present the royal national lifeboat institution with a cheque of all the money raised.

[@Threadbow]

Heartbreaking I bought that album from Ren. Ren signed it for me. I didn't 🤍 know the meaning behind the album.

[@hilarycharman-2924]

@@Threadbow It will mean even more to you now.

[@Threadbow]

@@hilarycharman-2924 It will 😢 but it got broken 💔 I'll have to buy it again now it means so much more 🕊 🤍

[@jenjenjen2222]

♥️ This one is tough. For me, what makes this song a bit easier to digest, was when Ren released his song “For Joe” after this one. To me, it felt like a bit of a resolve for Ren. He put the ending of this song in the For Joe song but he added a couple other blips from other songs about Joe in it and it felt like a really nice tribute to Joe. I’m so sorry for the loss you’ve experienced and I just wanted to hug you while you shared with us. I’m so glad you’re here.

[@sistermoon1970]

I totally agree, I found For Joe very healing x

[@hollyryalsgrubb1273]

It's imperative that we connect and talk about this; Ren has allowed many folks to start conversations that are essential. I am here, listening and learning through what you are sharing and teaching. Hugs to you and all in your and our intersecting circles.

[@kerrianderson2954]

Ffs...22.44pm, just about to go to sleep and then seen my favourite ADHD reactor had reacted to my favourite Ren 😊. Had to go and make a coffee...f*ck sleep 😂. Love you man 😂

[@brainsqueezereactions]

😊😊😊😊😊 Jussssst one more before bed 😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊

[@kerrianderson2954]

@@brainsqueezereactions always got time to hear Ren Ren Ren Ren Ren...fuck off Ren 😊😊😊😊😊

[@Ph4n_t0m]

I've just done the exact same thing. I haven't slept since I discovered this young man! I have now caught-up to every one of his Ren reactions (and Chinchilla, obvs!) and I'm about to start work running on caffeine and hopes that I don't nod-off while on the phone to a customer...

[@theamazingtif]

I love this song so much. When you’re having a really bad day, this song absolutely helps. I feel this one. Knox Hill encouraged Ren to go all in and show us his feelings. Ren went back and added the last verse and it’s the best part.

[@Renagade999]

Firstly well done for speaking about your friend. It's hard man I know. I had a friend who never took his own life but died in a car crash on the way to Wigan pier. His friend was driving and popped a pill before they set off. My friend was in the passenger seat with no seatbelt. The guy crashed and my friend went through the window. I've only every spoke about this after hearing ren. Your vary brave mate. I respect the fuk out of you. As for the haters. Haters can go fuk ones self. Your a legend mark and a nice human being. Don't change for ANYBODY!!!. Much love Paul from the rabbit hole ❤❤❤

[@peterveste6976]

I would be so proud to be your Dad you have a beautiful soul, I am 64 this year so happy I found you here love you don't ever change ❤❤❤

[@Skittenmeow]

Big hugs to everyone. For me, this one broke me. I lost a friend/ mentor at a similar time to when Joe took his life. It was a frantic couple of days hunting for him after finding the note. I remember settling at my parents city apartment to charge my phone and get water/ rations. The news came on, with a story of a body being found in King's Park of a male mid 20s who had died under 'suspicious circumstances' and I remember thinking ' _Fin would laugh so hard at his age being underestimated by a decade_ ' I knew, i fucking knew despite it taking a day to get confirmation. I could feel when he was gone. His funeral was one of the biggest I've attended. So many lives he touched as a human, doctor, surgeon, friend. It didn't matter that he'd always said that's how he would leave this earth, for at least a decade. We needed him.

[@petehutcheon5186]

“What it felt like to look down and see tranquility “. I think refers to how he felt looking over the edge of the bridge at night after his friend had gone over. Peace and calm of the water and the night.

[@brainsqueezereactions]

I agree, also think it's a double (which ren does so well) about the maybe his friend seeing tranquility I'm the option to jump 💔

[@Threadbow]

​@brainsqueezereactions Hector, 🫂 and love to you. I can see the pain 💔 you truly feel. You do so well to talk about your feelings. You are deep and Ren is genius helping others speaking out. I'm not good with words like yourself. Just love to you.

[@rudolphadonis3030]

"Not teaching self" . This is the most emotionally intelligent thing i have ever heard. Words to live by to everyone can relate. Great breakdown my brother, this is a heavy track get through especially when you can relate to it.

[@AnneElina]

This!!

[@brainsqueezereactions]

Thank you my friend, it definitely hurt my soul

[@lizl2432]

There’s Rens Rabbithole and now there is BrainSqueeze Reactions rabbithole … and I’m Alice.

[@brainsqueezereactions]

This is an amazing link 😊😊😊😊😊😊

[@brainsqueezereactions]

ILL.BE THE RABBIT CLOCK CHASING DUDE!

[@Just.Jen.10]

This one broke me too... 😢💔 so beautiful. When you know the story behind it, makes it so much more real.

[@bosbornefischer]

Ren frequent says that one of the purposes of music, and especially his music, is to create "empathy windows". Reaction videos like this do the same thing. They are powerful and productive contributions to both small and large conversations. All love to you Mark, and to everyone who share there stories. I see you. I hear you. I love you all.

[@SandraP3796]

Ren, Ren, Ren ❤. Glad you are sorting out the horrible people.

[@madcat528]

Thank you Hector for staying on the Ren rabbit hole. He is too important to ignore. Some people can't appreciate anything beautiful in this world! RENegade / HOG 4EVER. I'm so sorry about your friend. It stays with you forever. 😢❤

[@iamsquatty]

This is one of his heavier songs. Its hard to listen to, but also, the artistry here is incredible. Hes gone through so much and uses it to put awareness out into the world. Its a beautiful thing 💜💜

[@butterflymama0838]

What a beautiful reaction, Hector. This got me crying and thinking. Story time from me: my 30 year old daughter was in prison. She went for something pretty bad. She had been in for nearly 4 years and was going to be getting out in 6 months. My daughter had Schizo Affective Disorder, ADHD, PTSD, anxiety, depression, Organic Brain Disorder, and a part of her brain was "dead" because of horrible beatings from her ex. Well, anyway I was at a friend's benefit that was thrown for her for something. My phone was in my coat pocket all night so I didn't know that she had called me 3 times within 15 mins and I didn't know until I went home. I got a phone call the next day that they found my daughter dead in her bed that morning. This happened Jan. 19, 2020. I felt so awful!! I can never undo that or "fix" it. I blamed myself for a long time because she was calling to tell me something and I didn't answer. We have all done something or something happened that we felt like we could've made a difference. We can't beat ourselves up. We're only human. I loved this reaction and your willingness to be raw and authentic. Thank you so much for that. Much love, Hector! ✌🏼❣️ #Ren #BrainSqueeze

[@peterscott3276]

Dude I have to admit I wasn't really a big fan of yours but for whatever reason I kept coming back and you're in my top reactors now so keep doing you man. peace and love from Canada

[@Montana_wildhack70]

This song is genius. The day it premiered everyone cried. Never forget that day. Thanks for being you. ❤

[@lleldridge1]

Thank you Hector, for sharing your true self with us. It’s a brave and loving gesture. It’s why we love Ren as well. These open and honest conversations, without fear, are what bring people together, in joy and in sadness. It’s a wonderful community and I appreciate it. 💜

[@Threadbow]

Takes strength to open up.

[@dancerbird76]

That’s the beauty of Ren’s music……he opens up conversations about topics that a lot of people would prefer we swept under the carpet. They are difficult conversations that we need to have. This track was written in two stages. I feel that the two halves of the song are what makes it whole and I think this sits between ‘Freckled Angels’ and ‘For Joe’ almost like a trilogy. Thank you for sticking with this reaction…..it’s certainly hits hard.

[@JoRiceRenegade4Eva]

I agree re the unintended trilogy. Tragic beauty is often the most deepest felt ❤️

[@carlahelin5203]

Your story is so similar to Ren’s. Thank you for sharing and breaking down this powerful song. Seeing you get quiet and reflect and share your story hit hard. 😢 Ren’s lyrics help to open up much needed conversations.

[@jeanwyenberg2774]

I am so sorry for your pain. This song just shoots an arrow into the hearts of people who have suffered this. The first section he wrote a few years ago about his own feelings on the issue and did not produce as he felt it was not complete. Then after doing one of his online interviews in which he talked about his experience with the loss of his friend Joe, he added the second part. Although he had been through therapy and had intellectually dealt with this loss it seemed he had not fully dealt with it emotionally. So he sat down and wrote that second part line by line and recorded it line by line with no editing or anything...just raw. As someone else here wrote, he then wrote and recorded For Joe which is quite a magnificent piece as well.

[@im2yz4u17]

Just tell all those walking horrors to 'Get Bent'! Renegades love you to DEATH! Did I say DEATH! We want to SQUEEZE you with all our love! More seriously, it's hard to place this one in my top 10 Ren songs. In one respect it is #1. But in reality it is a beast of a song on its own--set apart like 'Hi Ren' and the Tales. At the end you mention your buddy as one of the funniest guys we would ever meet. Ren's stated that Joe was one of the funniest guys you would ever meet. Ren's song 'Freckled Angels' is about Joe. You MUST react to that song and 'Dominoes' before you finally finish off with Ren's tribute to Joe, aptly called 'For Joe'. Bring a box of tissues.

[@brainsqueezereactions]

😊😊😊 Well this comment makes me happy I found RENegades!

[@aimee_susan]

You are incredibly special, Hector. There was a hole in this type of reaction space until you came along. Thank you for sharing your heart. This Californian mess of ADHD appreciates you. 💜 Nothing but love.

[@mjfseven]

REN has given me hope for the future of music. Nothing short of genius. thank you for doing REN like no other.

[@623shivers]

I've been watching literally ALL of your reactions lately and I completely expect you to be human but I absolutely die laughing to you usually so to see you on the other emotional side just tore my heart in 2!!!!

[@brainsqueezereactions]

❤️❤️

[@AnnikaAyriss]

The ending to this song always hits me hard as well not only because of having known people who have made that final decision for themselves but also because every time I hear Ren breakdown I do too. May I suggest a more lighthearted Ren song for your next reaction like what you want or losing it because on this Ren roller coaster I find it helpful to bring the mood back up in between the hard hitting ones. as always I love your genuine reactions and I’ll see you in the rabbit hole

[@JoRiceRenegade4Eva]

I just freakin love you man! You’re “my people” & remind me of my eldest son so much - I’m sorry for the loss of your friend & the torment you have endured 🙏❤️ Very happy you’re still here too, you bring us so much joy & connection xxx

[@stephanie5899]

Freckled Angels is beautiful and in reference to Joe. One of my favourites is 'Its Alright', to be honest, I don't think Ren has a bad track on any of his albums. Thank you for sharing your story and painful memories. Relatable is something Ren manages in his music. Great reaction .

[@DyvmSlorm]

Because of his struggles with his Lymes disease, Ren has had thoughts like those expressed in the first half of this track. Because of his understanding of what the untimely death of his friend Joe did to Ren, he understands how an action such as that truly impacts so many lives (and I believe that understanding is a big reason Ren is still here with us). By putting both sides into this song Ren is showing empathy to those with thoughts like that but also demonstrating why indulging in that thinking is not the answer that will make everyone's lives better. Such a powerful message and needed by so many.

[@sharis9095]

One of the hardest things when someone ends their existence is no one knows what to say. In an effort not to cause pain, people stop talking about them. They become so lost eventually only a few even remember them. What Ren's done in this track, in "Freckled Angels", in "For Joe", is share Joe with the world. Ren gave the family something precious, the comfort that Joe will not be forgotten. Even if we didn't know Joe, we carry him now too. I think Joe saved Ren. When he was at the bottom, sick, delusional, no help in sight... Ren knew how much it would hurt his loved ones, so he hung in. It left us a compassionate, thoughtful, talented artist.

[@streekee]

26:00 teaching, teaching, teaching. But not teaching self! I hear you brother 💜 You’re not alone🤗

[@becimai56]

Man, I feel for you. I can only imagine the shock at listening to this track. Huge respect to you for talking about such a personal heartbreaking time. Actually sitting here sobbing, I know what you mean about teaching others and trying to help but the help and answers you need have been neglected. All my life I’ve had trauma from so many different situations and having 5 children I pushed it all down again and again. The trauma had turned inward and attacked my immune system . I’ve never had an outlet for my trauma as my children also have trauma and that comes first 🥰 sending huge hugs to you 🤗❤️

[@badsabre5917]

My friend survived going to war and being a police officer for 17 years but one day, he couldn’t take it any more. This song reminds me of that pain but I welcome it, if it means he is at peace. The look down and see tranquility line, is just so on head.

[@rachelmanley517]

no words, just hugs ♡

[@steinsway10]

That's one of the realest songs ever.

[@pointlesslab4179]

Now I can’t get Peter Gabriel’s Sledgehammer out of my mind listening to this. Thanks Hector for a new angle 😂

[@Just.Jayson]

Take ya Gandalf wand and…. 😂😂😂😂😂❤❤❤❤

[@mattday94]

This 1 allways breaks me man i been on both sides of suicide i tried taking my life after i lost my moms and the only reason im still here is because the gun i had jammed and didnt fire off.....and i lost 3 homies and a cousin to suicide aswell its not a nice thing to go through bro it does take away a huge chunk of your heart and soul every time it happens....its that not knowing why that kills inside and that feeling of being useless that hurts aswell because we like to think that we can see our loved 1s pain and when we miss all the signs and cant prevent it from happening it makes u feel so shit inside

[@AllisterDarcy]

glad your still with us for sure> keep being you> your Re- actions & comments Mirror your story & Ren's in all us [ ants in Pants ]

[@mikedoyle7546]

😢 Wow! Just Wow mate. I felt every second of that! Ren just brings it a out, in everyone😮 There ARE people who have not experienced this, but listen to Ren, properly, with your mind open and you get it. Thanks for a heartfelt reaction. Thank you!

[@michaelwalsh7359]

I don’t know if I’m officially a “Renegade” although that’s how I ended up here. I’ve only recently discovered Ren but like you and so many others I’m completely captivated. I’ve scoured KZbin and watched countless reactions, from therapists musicians coaches ect., some were great and I loved watching their reactions to Ren. You however, I could watch you do a reaction to anything I think. Newest follower! Looking forward to digging into more Ren with you and seeing what else you got to say too… stay true, stay unapologetic, keep making great content!

[@PoliticallyPink]

Good for you for putting the kibosh on discord haters. My hero! I'm always surprised that reactors interpret the line about tranquillity other ways: to me it's obvious he's looking over the edge of the bridge and seeing nothing but tranquillity in the water's surface, no sign of his friend, no thrashing or swimming or limbs: just tranquil water. That's one thing I love about Ren reactions: new views on old lyrics.

[@candacemay7187]

Oh, Mark!! You are having the same reaction that many of us had. This song broke me! I watch it and love it for the love of Ren and Joe!! Hugs to you Mark!!

[@commonsense9176]

It was dealing with one to many suicide s that broke me and give me ptsd while with coastguard so it hits home

[@pointlesslab4179]

Hope you’re healing now

[@commonsense9176]

@@pointlesslab4179 yes thats so kind thank you my wife had a major stroke so I'm to busy to worry about myself now.

[@hoopwizardws]

What an incredible reaction and absolutely engaging story at the end, my friend. I appreciate you and love seeing you take a moment to open up with us. Spectacular.

[@hilarycharman-2924]

Ren has a habit of making us open up and talk about things we havent been able to before. Thank you. The song Suicide is part of 4 songs about Ren's friend Joe. I'll try and find the post Ren did about him. The first part is Freckled Angels, the second is Suicide and The third is For Joe. How To Be Me which Ren did with Chinchilla is also about Joe but it's more a stand alone song.

[@rebeccaburnell9319]

Ahhhhhhhh you've made contact with "the Joe saga." ❤ You did a beautiful job of this reaction. Not many have - either they haven't been close enough to the subject matter yet that they *feel* the layers of meaning (which is obviously a good thing of course), or maybe because they've been TOO close, like you... but couldn't open up when ambushed by Ren's blinding openness, unlike you. Anyway, I appreciated every second of your 48min reaction. The *Suicide* part of this song is SUCH a fuckin' banger... if "Murderer" hadn't come along soon afterwards, I'd still be singing "Suicide, suicide, suicide" randomly while going about my life. (instead, it's the Murderer hook, which is still a hell of a ditty for anyone to overhear me singing, but maybe it's better than suicide suicide suicide? idk) And then the Joe part of the song is such an incredible peek into the self-aware brain of a person who's been thru years of therapy due to layers of pain and trauma of unfortunately servere kinds. "I never even phone them up, the distance is my plaster cast" kills me almost as much as the self-recrimination lyrics do. When you lose someone, you not only lose that person, you often lose your friends and yourself too. It's too painful to try to fix the gaping hole in the group of friends (especially if you feel responsible for not saving the person) Anyway. Sending my love and sympathies and anything else that might help, across the pond. Thank you for being you.

[@jessicalingo4346]

I can see you going fucking INSANE with electric callboy! 😂 it goes on point with your mad ADHD for sure! They're a pop, heavy metal and techno mix. I wanna see you do we got the moves

[@f2fbassist169]

Also thank you for giving us your honest reaction, thoughts, and sharing your own personal experiences with such a heavy subject. US Army combat vet, lost plenty of good people back home to suicide, that type of survivor's guilt ain't no joke. Much love man.

[@jeanninegervais5874]

I love watching and listening to you. I can relate to your content. ( adhd, attention, memory, concentration comprehension deficit). It was very freeing to finally understand how and why I do what I do. No shame or guilt about who I am. Your perspectives excite me. Thank you. And, yes, I’m a Ren Fanatic❤.

[@peterveste6976]

Thank you for being you all us Ren fans love you am so glad your part of the renegades ❤❤

[@jessicalingo4346]

I love how he did this one. He took a highly sensitive subject and put ai visuals to help those digest it easier. He put a slightly upbeat tone to it to balance out the dark lyrics. He spoke up about a subject that should be talked about and put it in a way that is not as painful to hear. Then he got down to the nitty gritty at the end and barred out his soul speaking about Joe. He got you used to the idea in a soothing manner then went deeper ❤

[@TornSoul062473]

The AC/DC song from the Maximum Overdrive soundtrack is called "Who Made Who." Great react.

[@thatdamnmolly]

Ah, f*ck, man... this reaction was awful. It was beautiful & horrible, it made me cry... a lot... and I'm glad I watched it all. Thank you for sharing the not-so-fun, really hard stuff with us. I'm glad you're still here to be able to share with us. This song makes me cry every time. It's odd that even though I've had a couple of friends who removed themselves from the equation, I cry more because my heart breaks for Ren than for my own loss. And I cried through most of this reaction because my heart broke for Ren and for you. I understand the pain of that loss and the myriad of terrible thoughts & feelings that come with it. Much love 💚💙💜 (Now f*ck off with the sad sh*t and do a fun one... we could all, you included, do with a break after that, lol! Maybe Uninvited?)

[@JohnSparksScotland]

Wonderful - wonderful - wonderful!! A pure and gentle reaction - thank you 🙏🏻

[@jeremyrhoades2535]

28:27 Man, the point you made here. That shot through me. I can’t even make friends anymore because I know that I’m just gonna annoy them. How are you supposed to relate with people? When they tell you something about themselves that they're going through you acknowledge it right? And then you tell them something that you're going through like hey I understand you. Isn’t that connection? But then I can't remember details about them because I don't remember anything. Even my wife just says I'm narcissistic and selfish and only think about myself. She says the problem is I'm just not listening because she'll ask me something and I won't remember until she starts describing it and reminding me and as soon as she gives me some semblance of something that I recognize I remember the entire conversation. I live in hell I don’t have anyone that I connect with. I feel like I understand everyone around me and nobody understands me. Sorry

[@wexfordgirl1]

Survivor gullt is an horrendous thing and we all go there, sometimes when we least expect it. Grief comes in waves, gut punching,, winding waves. Forgive yourself. First part is his feelings about contemplating his own suicide. Secomd is the effect Joe's suicide had on his life. It's both tragic, devastating and a conversation opener for us all. He wants us to confronts and acknowledge our feelings. To break the stigma and taboo.

[@anetteandersson2778]

❤ it never goes away , you learn to live with it ❤

[@petebchillin]

Great reaction. I feel like your next Ren reaction should be something upbeat. Bongo Bong by The Big Push would be my suggestion.

[@makokuma7881]

Hey, I think you need ‘fun Ren’ for the next one. You should react to Losing It (FISHER Rap Version) next. You owe it to yourself and we’d all love it! Keep up the great work, mate 👍

[@Seaglassandsandcastles]

I’m so sorry for the loss of your friend. I almost ended it all when I was a teenager and still struggle with depression so this song hits me in the gut. I really don’t understand people that don’t get his music. REN’s music has gotten me through so much recently. He even inspired me to create art again. ❤

[@brainsqueezereactions]

Well now you deffo can never leave! As there's so much more Ren for my brain to discover and you cannot miss one!

[@pyrotarkus]

I ha e to add on to my comment ... i posted it 2/3 of the way thru. Youre talk at the very end was mental mate. Fuck me. Loved it. True words you spoke. Im glad I started following your channel. CHEERS AGAIN!

[@brainsqueezereactions]

That's very kind and thank you so much !

[@optimistinmyprime]

🤣yep, made it to the end. 10,000 of us all sitting here naked, minding our own business 😂

[@sanoraray]

This is why I love Ren and watching people react to him. He brought you to that line in the sand you had drawn long ago which was the boundary of what you spoke out loud and then he gives you the strength to go past it. I seen the look in your face when you were fighting whether to speak your pain or not and Ren being vulnerable allowed you to get to the point of "Fuck it, here's my story" and that is a beautiful thing to watch. I'm sorry for your pain of losing people and yourself for a while. I have lost 11 people, with 6 being very close to me to suicide. It's a horrible thing to live with all the what ifs, but it isn't your cross to bear. You shouldn't hold on to pain that doesn't belong to you. I love your channel so much. I learn so much about Adhd and the human condition from listening to you. ❤

[@staceyk5682]

This was a tough one but your reaction was genuine. This song resonates with a lot of people…REN’s lyrics are so powerful. Definitely do a more upbeat song next. Much love💜

[@violincredible]

On a practical note, and I'm sure the proper Renegades will have mentioned it, but the track 'Eden' is arguably Money Game part 4, and I'd really love to cop your reaction to it, like, I'm measurably excited in anticipation. Of course, that's no reason for you to do anything, um I'll shut up now.

[@SanteeKoenders]

THIS WAS AMAZIMG AND HONEST FULL OF TEARS AND EMOTION. I CAN NOT EVEN IMAGINE THE FEELING YOU OR REN HAVE BUT THAT IS WHAT MUSIC DOES FOR EVERYONE IT SHOULD MAKE YOU FEEL SOMETHING, GOOD, BAD, HAPPY ,SAD WHATEVER IT IS. IT CAN TAKE YOU AWAY OR GO BACK IN TIME. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR NOT STOPING HALF WAY THRU AND TELLING US YOUR HISTORY AND FEELINGS. SO I THINK LOVE MUSIC PART 2 IS ORDER FOR THE NEXT REACTION.

[@Renegade44.]

My heart is breaking for you Hector. Thank you for sharing and being so honest. Sending you love and hugs x

[@tonyhunt4250]

It was a hard one. You broke me on this one.

[@Lou...052]

You really have become my favourite reactor over night... thank you for being so authentic. Its refreshing. Xx

[@Insigniavertigo]

There was a whole thing around the release of this song and the one he released right after, Murderer. This song was heavily restricted for the title, yet a song titled Murderer had absolutely no content restriction issues. You are a beautiful soul Henry, thank you for existing.

[@TheREALDiscoDoc]

Thank you for making my cold hard drive feel something

[@DebErelene]

That was awesome. That song is hard listening (and catchy …), and listening to your stories was hard (but the love that comes with these stories is so human and … I mean, it's love; it's lovely). Yet somehow, you managed to close out on a laugh. Magic.

[@brainsqueezereactions]

Thank you Deb and yeah, I suppose there's always a hard time for everyone, so I still have a purpose to smile and make sure others are happy 😊 it's both a gift and a curse at times I'm sure of it ❤️

[@DyvmSlorm]

@@brainsqueezereactions Even if that smile/laugh is forced, you never know whose life you might change because of it.

[@jessisanchez8150]

Survivors Guilt feels terrible, feeling that if you could have done one thing different a person would still be here. I lost someone close and it eats at me that I could've done something to keep that person here, although ppl tell me I shouldn't feel guilt, it was inevitable, still hurts as of it was yesterday. Stay strong lad

[@albamartinez4987]

I'm so sorry you've gone through so much yourself Mark. 🙁 You are brave to continue and talk about your own situation. I'm sure this will help someone else that might be struggling too. ❤ Ren spoke about this song in one of his interviews. The first part was sort of about his own experience and emotions around the act. However, he had this niggling feeling that it was missing something and was nervous about it's release. He was then interviewed by Knox Hill 2 weeks before the song's release (was finished and ready to go). During the interview Ren spoke about his childhood friend Joe whom he hadn't spoken or thought about in a while. Joe unalived himself by jumping of the Menai bridge when they were both around 19 and it changed Ren forever. After the interview, Ren decided he would write an extra part to the song about his experience with Joe's passing. He said that the lyrics just poured out of him as he wrote them. Every couple of sentences he would stop to record them and then continue to write the next two sentences and so on. Because this was recorded in real time, so was his emotion which he thought about removing but thank goodness decided to leave in. Joe meant the world to Ren but his untimely death meant we selfishly have Ren ourselves bc Ren played with the idea of unaliving himself due to the suffering he was enduring with his disease but knew the devastation it left behind first hand and couldn't bring himself to do it to those he loved...so he endured his suffering for them. 🥺 I really recommend you do For Joe next but before you do, if you can stomach it, read the comment Ren left under his video about what happened. It tells you what happened and who Joe was in Ren's own words. See you in the 🐇🕳 ❤

[@dottedlinewent]

I’ve always interpreted the Fibonacci sequences and double Dutch as seeing the world as a series of repeating patterns. We’re always looking for connection through the patterns that we find that seem to repeat themselves throughout all of existence. I love your channel so much and as a fellow ADHD person, I just want you to know how validated I feel seeing you talk about all of Ren‘s music there’s no one quite like him and I’m glad that we’re all part of this confusing world together. ❤️‍🩹

[@vgwhittle]

Thank you for sharing your heart and soul with us. It truly matters and helps and is beautiful to see. "What if.." is a killer question to have stuck in your head. I get it. Sending love and peace. 💜☮️💜

[@whisperingfist]

Maaaan, I'm so impressed that you managed to get to the end of that. I find it a hard watch, and I've not had the experiences you've had. I can empathise, but not from a place of experience, only understanding. So for you to do that whole thing, I was really impressed. I kept saying to the computer "Hector, you don't need to continue with this. we'd all understand if you bowed out on this one." But you didn't, you kept going and that takes some serious cahunas! You have my respect. And you are smart. Stop saying that you're not. Pretty sexy too. and I don't even swing that way!

[@Lynds77]

❤❤❤❤❤❤ ABSOLUTELY AMAZING REACTION ❤❤❤ WE ADORE REN AND GOU MY FRIEND ❤❤❤ WE ADORE YOU IN CANADA 🇨🇦 ❤️

[@suzieclarke6744]

It is impossible not to be shaken by this masterpiece, it hurts every time I listen and see a genuine reaction to this, I cry every time, if you have empathy how can you not be moved to tears...a very honest and real reaction 💜

[@optimistinmyprime]

I've never heard anyone explain ADHD the way you do. You don't know how much I appreciate it. Thanks

[@barbarahatcher5942]

I actually truly love you! Not trying to romance you, love, I mean love in a different way but you just flat out make me happy. Make me laugh. You are so entertaining and funny. I LOVE YOU!!

[@brainsqueezereactions]

😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊

[@TheSwampdoggydog]

Dude I would give you a thousand thumbs up if I could ❤❤ nothing but respect for your honesty and openness. Don’t let the guilt ruin your life nobody will ever know what could have been but thankfully you are still here today touching thousands of peoples hearts and minds ❤

[@brainsqueezereactions]

Thank you so much 😊😊😊 ill speak to youtube about a 1k thumbs up 👍 ❤

[@michaelwalsh7359]

If you were wondering, at least 1 stayed to the end. Lmao I’ve watched this song a few times on reactions… even still hearing so much pain poured through a pen crushes my spirit, but somehow tears in my eyes, like a light switch you had me laughing my ass off bringing a little light to the dark beauty that is this song.