Life Update and Q&A

[@annieonpaper]

from getting rejected from oxford for undergrad, to getting accepted for your masters, to declining your phd spot. what a journey! i cant wait to see where else you go, i am sure it will be wonderful

[@freshdogturds]

She told Oxford to do one :)

[@nikolium]

It takes an incredible amount of courage and strength to prioritize your mental health over an opportunity like PhD at Oxford. You’re truly amazing Ruby! Thank you for being open and honest and using your platform to amplify the importance of a good head space in academia.

[@Aoife-qd1jm]

I waited two years after finishing my masters to start my PhD. Definitely needed the time to decompress and begin to feel excited and motivated again. I think you have made a wise decision ❤

[@CrisOnTheInternet]

With or without work experience?

[@Aoife-qd1jm]

@@CrisOnTheInternet I worked full-time throughout my masters and continue to do so while doing my PhD. Not because I'm a go-getter, because I have to lol.

[@CrisOnTheInternet]

@@Aoife-qd1jm like most of us lol. I asked mostly because I have the impression that some people go straight to masters degree without a work experience and I don't know if that's counterproductive by the time they try to get a job, I guess it depends of the field. I have 10 years of work experience and I plan to hopefully start my Masters degree in 2026. Any advice? Also good luck with your PhD.

[@Aoife-qd1jm]

@@CrisOnTheInternet I think working teaches us things that education can't and vice versa - both are necessary. Wishing you the best of luck with your masters, friend ☺️

[@ila9063]

@@CrisOnTheInternetin Europe, going straight to Masters is pretty normal ime

[@viannedemirel]

Declining the phd offer and waiting a year for you phd for the sake of your mental health is so impressive, like genuinely so inspiring

[@giorgia8674]

As a PhD student I would say you 100 percent made the right decision!

[@WooHooCelery]

I know you’re not planning on doing it at the moment, but I still wanted to congratulate you on getting into Oxford for your PhD. It’s an incredible achievement regardless of your decision to not pursue it right now.

[@st4rb0y333]

I also had to withdraw my postgraduate application recently due to burnout and poor mental health. been struggling so much with guilt. THIS VIDEO MADE ME FEEL SO MUCH BETTER

[@babettedejong2975]

you definitely made the right decision. 💚

[@l.a.bianchi6253]

Hey Ruby! Props to you for putting your mental health first! I'm a Ph.D. student here in the States and can assure you that getting a doctoral degree can take a heavy toll.

[@jessicavanzeijderveld]

Ruby, there’s no right or wrong in life. Over the years, I’ve watched you shine, and I know I speak for many when I say, “Well👏done👏you👏!” You’ve accomplished what few can-not just in your academic journey, but in inspiring thousands who are finding their own paths. Now it’s time for us to encourage you to keep moving forward on yours. You’ve got this!

[@Me-ov4qk]

Perfectly said 👏

[@AM-nb1ql]

I think with adulting, so many lose their childhood curiosity or joy or wonder, because people are genuinely burnt out from trying to survive in our society. Unfortunately, many people cannot afford to rest and recover, and therefore are stuck in perpetual cycle of stress and survival. Yes, you can take steps to lessen the effects of burnout, but I do feel like it’s incredibly difficult to recover from it while our society is the way it is 😞☹️

[@quantumspark343]

They lose their curiosity because most of the accessible things have been explored and only high effort things are left to explore so you're way less inclined to pursue them (by the time youre an adult you pretty much saw anything unless youve been living under a rock). Also i think theres also a physiological drop in brain plasticity and excitability, so even if you had an adult with no memories or something, it would be less curious or excited about stuff anyways

[@natalyaporter5730]

There’s an endless amount of things to be curious about and to wonder about. If anything I’m more curious than ever the older I get

[@AuroraButterflyx]

The issues is being adult we know more than kids and sometimes the random kid wonder is just not realistic. But this comment is important to retain that kid wonder, which I’m trying to improve on.

[@maneskinnnnn7190]

@@quantumspark343 because youre always exhausted and miserable from the stress of working 12 hours a day just to barely pay your rent.

[@LehansaLinadi]

What I think is while we are still teenagers we try so hard to "act" like adults... So by the time we reach our adult life we are already "semi- hypocritical ". societal standards influence this so vastly... In my opinion just relaxing and being genuine helps just because adults are not a whole new type of species ( kindness can truly help as well making us slowed down a bit)... 😊we must not forget who we were

[@limeparticle]

Good for you for doing what’s best for your mental health! It can be difficult to let go (even temporarily), but I believe you’ll be better off in the long run.

[@RosieScribble]

Darling, Ruby. This video will have helped so many people to be more open about their mental health, to listen to their gut, and to know it is in their best interests to step away and press pause when they need to prioritise their mental health. Love you for this. x

[@DariaAlone]

Ruby, your decision is one of the best you could make about PhD. I waited almost five years to start my own postgraduate studies, now I am doing this not as just a young person, but as Senior Lecturer at the university that had visited some conferences, spoken at some, even got some scientific advisory experience. Exactly grateful for this half a decade.

[@fbspin]

So proud of you Ruby, the PhD opportunity will always be there, taking care of your mental health is much more important

[@jinjingzhao9100]

Ruby, I just want to share with you my own experience and perspective. I was in school until I was almost 30y old, master after bachelor, phd after master, no break in between, plus working part time to support myself since I was 20. Now every time I think about those years in school, the first thing I feel is exhaustion, although I’ve learned so much and met so many smart people and I still love intellectual challenges. I think you are mature in that you decide to prioritize self care.

[@JanetteGrey]

It's wise to make sure you are mentally prepared for these things if you have the opportunity, although good time management and organisation are really the key to sustained post-graduate study. In the 1970s my mother did her DPhil at Oxford while working 5 days a week and bringing up two children (my father worked abroad for 8 months a year). She even managed to write and publish a book at the same time. I once asked her how she did it all and she said "I knew it wasn't the optimal time to do it but I also knew it might be the only time I had." But she was definitely built different to most people!

[@KyleBrown-k2c]

I did my doctorate at Cambridge a few years ago while working full-time and it is a challenge but what your mother said is very like what my supervisor said at interview- if you wait for a good time to do a doctorate you'll wait forever. But obviously I don't mean you should go for it if you are feeling mentally unable to cope, just that there are rarely ideal circumstances for post-grad study.

[@HectorDelapoerberesford]

I did my doctorate a long time ago but I remember two of my fellow students were pregant and gave birth during theirs (one of them twice). Every time one of us male students complained about anything to do with deadlines etc they used to give us a withering look 😂

[@a.w5407]

Having a good family is not a privilege. You have a great family, that is a blessing.

[@maaikeputters5842]

Dear Ruby, you have worked so incredibly hard in the past years to achieve your goals! To follow your gut and give priority to what you need to recharge is so brave! A very inspiring attitude towards work/life balance and how to (continue to) enjoy what you do. Any future opportunity will find you when the time is right. They will be lucky to have you!

[@Springdayrain-mz4vo]

Ooh Ruby, there's no right or wrong when dealing with mental health. The fact that you recognise it is a good step forward. You should definitely take time off from learning. It's good because when you go back, you'll feel refreshed. I am definitely looking forward to your new planner next year and would love more of your home vlogs. ❤❤❤

[@leticiapereiraarca3385]

Girl you work so hard and it’s a relieve to hear you’re a human and you also struggle because it is to be expected! You work so so hard and you also deserve rest

[@weislang]

You are wise to take a year off. I took a year between my BA and my graduate work (MA & PhD) and it was one of my best decisions. PhD work is very intense; you have to be in the right frame of mind to do it. Someone I knew once described her dissertation as her "Demon Lover," and she wasn't half wrong about that! Good luck!

[@Sarah-lx8ex]

What a courageous thing to do, Ruby

[@ys6335]

Ruby, you 100% made the right decision. Doing (and especially finishing) the PhD is much harder than getting in. Also, if you end up wanting to stay in academia after your PhD, it will be much more complicated to take a sabbatical or interrupt your academic career to work outside of academia or pursue your own projects, and then be able to return to academia. Do everything you want experience outside of academia before starting your PhD, and start it when you feel fully ready. Clearly you have what it takes to be accepted and write a good proposal, and that won’t change 2,5 or even 10 years from now!

[@alisontaylor6135]

Good for you trusting your gut. Great idea to break from academia for a while. You're a winner in my eyes. xx

[@ClemsonTigerMom]

Thank you, Ruby, for your candor. Your sharing of your personal struggles is healing and inspiring to others. We all have times when we need to tend to our mental health and doing so is very healthy! Thanks for being brave and setting such a great example. You are the loveliest of human beings.❤

[@emiliaaa2121]

Thank you so much for being open about your mental health. I took a gap year after my A-levels which turned into 2 gap years because I was in such a bad place mentally. Now I’m starting Uni and I feel so great and happy about having taken the two years for myself however it took me quite a while to stop feeling ashamed of being 2 years behind my peers. It’s great to see someone I see as a role model be so relatable and I am sure you’ll get better and get your PhD one day!

[@Samantha-vlly]

I love the questions you chose I never felt at ease with a ending phrases of youtubers except Ruby. It expands more into my reality and I feel thankful that I watch a person that is living a life, openly with her career and work while being grounded in reality, with a hint of glint:>

[@ljwilson55]

I went straight through from BA to MA to PhD in Molecular Biology. This was back in the 70's and 80's, and mental health was something to be ashamed of. I was completely exhausted at the end. Instead of applying for postdoctoral positions, in prep for going into academia (which is what my major professor expected of all his students), I took a year off then went into biotech. If I had to do it again, I think I would have taken more time in between. So, you need to do what is best for you! Only you know what is best for you and your mental health.

[@alicehamilton2533]

You made the right choice. You have to go into a PhD being 100% sure it’s the right idea. PhDs are hard. I did mine straight after my BSc and I really wished I took a gap in studies. There will always be more chances.

[@katie88457]

I left my Ph.D. program after just a year and decided not to continue at all, for similar reasons as you cite. It was the hardest decision, as I'd been working toward it for years, and still don't know what to do with the rest of my life. Thank you for sharing this so honestly. It makes me feel a lot less alone! 💗

[@C.Bellaz2001]

never thought this would be one of my favourite videos from Ruby. Love your calmness and these powerful thoughts. Really gave me strength to go through some rough times ❤❤

[@donsambol]

You're doing the right thing. You need a mental/emotional break from 5 years of very intense focus. Introverts focus their energy more inward (I know myself) and it can drain our energy tremendously. I look forward to your continued efforts next year.

[@thenoobalmighty8790]

RECHARGE

[@watchmedo635]

Congratulations on your PhD spot and 900k - but most importantly for putting your mental health first! On another note, I want to say thank you - you inspired me to apply again for Oxford after I was rejected for my undergrad, and this time I got in - I will always be thankful that you inspired me to pursue this amazing opportunity

[@sophiependragon2467]

Omg Ruby!! That is so cool! So proud of you for trusting your gut, I can’t believe how hard it must have been. But so much growth comes from these decisions, whenever you have the chance to do it again, it’s gonna be so much better ❤❤ the adult thing is so true and I love your style! I got into tea this year and it’s great 🍵

[@linarojas4233]

You're a very authentic person. Thanks for sharing your experience although it was hard for you you prioritized your health and sometimes it feels a very lonely path but it's not. Much of us have been there and there is no reason to regret

[@DrAllyGreen]

I finished my phD 28 years ago and also worked for two years after my degree before starting it - I'm so pleased I did that it made me appreciate the whole phd process a lot more it has to be the right time for you and on a subject that is 100% what you're passionate about - never went on to actually use it in my career but loved every minute of it and have never regretted it

[@rachloia6993]

Ruby, you truly are an inspiring academic. I was a PhD student right out of undergrad (not sure what undergrad is called across the pond) and it was not a good decision for me. I loved school and to me, the PhD just made sense, but that level of work is extremely challenging. My mental health tanked and I fell behind. I ended up receiving a terminal masters and have been working ever since, still trying to cope with the pain I experienced for so long. As people who love school and academia, these decisions are so hard to make. I just wanted to thank you for sharing your story and taking care of yourself. I have no doubt you’ll have your doctorate soon enough but take your time. Studying is a life long love.

[@PaulaAngles]

I am sure the right time will come for you to start your PhD in Oxford but I applaud you for following your gut. I think it was the right decision to make even if at the time was so difficult after having been accepted. You will do it Ruby 🧡 Thank you so much for keeping us in the loop 🤍 Lots of love from Spain!

[@nancycaldwell9931]

That's wonderful, Ruby! Your videos really inspire me to read more & learn more. Thank you for being so transparent. You're an encouragement to many people. So happy you're doing well. 😊❤

[@GretaC]

I graduated a few hours ago!!!! Your videos and your approach to studying have been instrumental to my studies, so thank you Ruby! 💞

[@DizzyStar19]

Congratulations!! 😊

[@GretaC]

@@DizzyStar19 Thank you!!

[@benjaminjackson4376]

I'm an academic historian that went straight through from BA to PhD without a break. After my MA (hardest year of my life!) I wish I had a year out to re-catch my breath. A great decision and will pay off in the long run!

[@aziziabdrahman7756]

Hi Ruby, I'm in my final year of university. I've seen your videos for quite a while, and they're helpful with my university life as they give me motivation to succeed. I don't know if I want to pursue a Masters after graduation. All I can say is, thank you for everything ❤

[@Atiya.W]

As Oxford student myself studying English it's fun and hard at same time , I know how you feel and thank you so much for showing real and raw reality of student life which make be feel that I am alone suffering with unstable mental health. I love studying at oxford but there are times where my mental health is unstable, had panic attacks , feeling lonely and homesick . As a girl who has been surrounded by family , suddenly shifted to London alone for studies was really hard on my mental health. Wishing you all the best as you embark on this exciting new journey Ruby...💕

[@nicolad8822]

Oxford is not in London?

[@AO2437.]

@@nicolad8822maybe they were in Oxford and now they’re in London

[@Atiya.W]

​@@nicolad8822For my bachelors I completed in london , currently doing my masters in Oxford.

[@die-isabelle]

I admire you so much, Ruby. You are so self aware and wise. I also made the decision of postponing starting a PhD because of a gut feeling pretty similar to what you described, and seeing you going through this and others sharing their experiences here on the comments makes me feel so, so much better and comprehended. Thanks for doing what you do! Love you content xx ❤

[@ruthfuller2105]

Ive always found in life (im slightly old now) be true to who you are. If other people have a problem with the way you dress etc its there problem not yours. Just continue been you Ruby. You were right not to burn yourself out and go with your gut instinct over your phd. There's always another year, theres only one you ❤

[@PMF2022]

I'm so proud of you for choosing what's best for you at this stage of your life.

[@Anna-sf3ko]

You have done the bravest thing and the most right thing in the world! You should be proud of yourself ❤ 4:07

[@Anna-mi6es]

You’re truly an inspiration for posting this video. I am about 10 years older than you and have been on sick leave since March due to stress-induced exhaustion disorder. Unfortunately I didn’t pay enough attention to my body and the symptoms i had from working day and night. Take care of yourself!

[@armitageshanks2499]

As someone who had to make a similar decision in the past, I trust that you're on the right path, Ruby. I'm impressed

[@katherineschexneider585]

Any decision you make based on your health--mental, physical, spiritual--is a good decision. One tactic I've used when faced with big decisions is to "let a friend make the decision for you." Here's how it works: get in the mindset that the decision the friend makes is binding. It's not, of course, but pretend, play along. The friend makes the decision randomly, say, flips a coin, privately. He or she writes the decision down on paper privately, folds it over a few times and hands it to you. You pause, prepare to receive a decision. Then, unfold the paper. You and your friend carefully check your immediate reaction. Is it relief, or anxiety/disappointment/fear? Your reaction is key. It will tell what you want to decide. OK, game's over, and you make the real decision.

[@123positive_vibes]

I have been watching your videos since 2021 and it's lovely to see how you have grown and how you have become even more wiser,love youu so much Ruby❤❤ your videos are like a cozy place to visit❤

[@paris0551]

Dear Ruby I am so much older than you, and I am filled with admiration for the decision you have made. It took me many years to listen to my head, my heart and my body, but once I did, I believe I became a stronger person. You are gaining vital life experiences and these will help you as you travel along your chosen path. Lots of luck

[@jenanalleman6285]

Take time to regroup and begin it when you're ready. Use this time to build experience outside of academia and try new things. I think you'll find this time valuable when you do start your phd.

[@lisametcalfe640]

Deciding not to do things is as important and deciding to do things. It was very brave of you to take that step at such a vulnerable time. You have given yourself the gift of space and perspective. You will be a better PhD student after a break than if you had gone straight in.

[@Event_Horizon14]

Oh Ruby, don't feel bad about withdrawing your application! Doing a PhD is one of most singularly exhausting and psychologically draining experiences anyone of us can go through. And this comes from someone who's just passed her viva after having to take a year-long break from my research to take care of my mental (and physical!) health. I wish I'd taken a year off between my masters and going into my PhD to recharge my creative batteries and mentally prepare but I was offered funding and I felt I couldn't really say no because in the UK you just never know if you'll be lucky enough to get funding a 2nd time. My advice is make your mental health a priority, focus on something non-academic (your job), enjoy your time with family and friends and if it was meant to happen, you'll eventually get your PhD.

[@idonotlikefours]

I put off starting my PhD at Bristol for a year and a half after my Masters and it was the best decision I could've made - well done for choosing what you think is right for your mental health!

[@hellopaulie]

A lot of people need a break between their masters and their PhD. It's intense. Don't worry, when the time is right you will know and the opportunities will still be there. I just finished "Rebecca" last month and I loved it. Hope Lola is feeling better soon. Holy mackerel! Haha.

[@chamallow989]

Ruby, you made the right decision regarding your mental health. I know first hand how impossible it can be to stay on top of your academic duties while struggling mentally. I had to make the very hard decision to step back from school for a few weeks to get admitted to a clinic because I was just going downhill and while I was extremely scared, I find that it's giving me an opportunity to really take a step back and figure things out. It's obviously a lot better if you can avoid getting to the point where you really need that amount of intervention for things to get better, so deciding to take a bit of time before considering the PhD again is a really wise decision. It's a lot better to get into it prepared and in shape than on the brink of collapsing and completely breaking down.

[@cherrypeach1714]

Hi Ruby! I’m also a recent MA graduate and seeking PhD and receiving job offers. I was rushing just like you, even though my master’s has made me a complete workoholic. I realized that I haven’t taken a breath to rest for the last 2 years. Seeking a job, rejection letters and PhD job seek all feel so overwhelming. I decided to improve my CV through publishing papers and improve my experiences this year and take a hiatus. Love hearing yor story and it really inspires me to put my mental health abpve everything else. Thank you!!!

[@lizee708]

I took a year off between Masters and starting a PhD. I just needed to not do anything academic related. I just completed my third course in the program and a part of me wishes I would have waited an additional year. I commend you on waiting and focusing on your mental health, amongst other things. Not many want to talk about waiting or changing their minds altogether, I think there is a stigma to it. Which is ridiculous because it's not making a wrong decision. Hope that made sense and that all is well!

[@charlottew1938]

Thanks so much for sharing this and showing people that their journey into/continuing with academia isn’t always linear, and that it doesn’t have to be. If they accepted you before, I’m sure you’ll be able to do a PhD again when you’re ready. Also, getting work experience is so so valuable- once you’ve done your PhD and are applying for jobs, it will probably be a benefit that you didn’t go with the straight-through route. The shift your channel has taken over the last few years towards prioritising your mental health while studying is really special and necessary, so thank you ❤️

[@sana-gq2ur]

ruby we're so proud of you and we'll always support you ❤

[@gottoledoed]

good on you for listening to your gut! I'm sure you made the right decision! good luck to you, Ruby

[@melodie0987]

I'm really proud of you for delaying your PhD, Ruby. It's clear from the video it was difficult for you. You're setting a great example for your viewers. Living mindfully and to the best of our ability requires taking things at our pace and following our path. I wish I had done this; I pushed myself forward so many times at university when I very reasonably could have taken a break. Instead I ended up failing courses because I was struggling with managing life and could not complete coursework, too. But I told myself I had to push through, because anything else was unacceptable. Thank you for sharing your strength! I look forward to hearing more about your independent study.

[@CobinRain]

Well done Ruby…our daughter went straight from her MSc, complete with distinction, but a dishrag of emotional and physical exhaustion, into her DPhil….xLike you she had used her MSc dissertation to draw together her thoughts about where her scholarship was taking her next so she was clear on that but just pretty emotionally drained. And tired. In the end she decided to accept her DPhil place and carry on through…..this is her last year. She has survived all being well but would tell you that it would have been better if she’s had a break. The DPhil itself she has found a wonderful experience but hard going. Everyone says the same. Anyway, best wishes for the year and next year too.

[@CarolAnne923]

Well done Ruby. Part of mental health wellness is being able to recognize when you need to take a break and rebuild your resilience. Reapply when you are ready.

[@KaiM-jj7bk]

Thank you for sharing this update! Waiting 20 years between my college graduation and pursuing a master's degree was worth it even though I wished I'd gone back so much earlier. I think both life and work experience in those 20 years contributed to the work I am doing in my courses.

[@vishi6182]

I can relate to your situation about getting to do something you love and withdrawing it because I had to make this difficult choice recently too. Don't worry, Ruby; your decision is absolutely right. Even if later you feel regretful about it, know that the "present you" did the best thing she can do in the given situation, and that might be wrong as per your "future you," but it is the best and correct decision as per the "present you.". I had to leave the job, which I absolutely love, in the same month I was promoted, because I knew I wasn't in the right mindset. but this was the best decision the current me could have taken. Always have faith in you. love you.

[@petrogenesis]

You've definitely done the right thing. My masters ruined my mental health and I ended up never going back to academia because I felt like I wouldn't cope with a PhD. So taking a little break is definitely the right choice. The PhD opportunities will still be there if/whenever you want to go back to it!

[@mkressyy]

I just got my pumpkin productivity planner in the mail and it’s great. Love ur videos Ruby🥰

[@monicapavon3736]

Hi Ruby! I completed my PhD in microbiology last year, and I truly believe you made the right decision. I wish I had the same courage as you because I wasn't in the best mental state when I started my PhD, which made me not enjoy it as I had imagined. Although I learned many scientific things during my PhD, the most important lesson was about myself. You’re very brave, and you'll be an excellent PhD student. Thanks for sharing!

[@Me-ov4qk]

Hi Ruby, It's so inspiring to see you talking about mental health and even turning down Oxford for it! ❤ For real I'm just so amazed because it takes so much strength to turn down your dream university to prioritise your health and even be able to talk about it openly. It does help me a lot to know it's okay to struggle and that other people sometimes do too. Keep being strong and trusting yourself, Ruby! I'm sure it'll work out whenever you want to try again, trusting your gut can never be bad and I bet you'll make a lot of cool new experiences in your job. Love from Germany, thanks for inspiring me to make the best out of every single day (even if it's an unproductive one) ♥️

[@Olivia-ku9jp]

Im in my third year of PhD now, and I think you were right with your choice although it was hard. The first year of PhD is extremely mentally taxing (in my opinion). My first year was a perfect breeding ground for things like imposter syndrome, perfectionism and anxiety. That combined with being around new people (supervisors, research group, PhD students etc) made it extremely tough. You will never regret doing it at a time where you feel ready - but you will regret rushing it! You have nothing to worry about. Vienna waits for you ❤️

[@micaylabam2428]

Ruby, I'm glad that you followed your gut. Now you can go into your PhD. feeling refreshed and excited. I would love to hear a tidbit more about your work, though. You have us intrigued. 🙈

[@Amy-x3l9t]

It’s so nice to see your growth since your initial Oxford rejection all those years ago! I appreciate it’s easier to get into Oxford for a masters than for an undergraduate degree, but it’s still a HUGE achievement - congrats once again Ruby!

[@ss45247]

I am so proud of you Ruby. You are brave and wise and made of strong stuff ❤

[@elizal181]

[@susancmeyer]

As a final-year PhD candidate, I say well done for putting yourself and your health first. You are wise to wait, and huge congrats on the master's and getting accepted into the PhD program. I also know the work that goes into both. Enjoy a break before your next adventure Ruby

[@annikaa.3854]

Hey Ruby, I took a break from my masters because of my mental health and because I felt like it just all got too much and I was burnt out. I am grateful for this decision every day, as I had enough time to recover and am now back at studying and thriving whilst doing it. 100% sure that your decision to postpone the PhD was a good one! Very proud of you for making this hard decision xx

[@misisou]

As someone who is doing a PhD for 5 years now (finishing next year), I kinda always knew you would be applying, you just seem like the type, same as me, with loving academia so much. But I think you did a good thing here. The PhD is very demanding and challenging, so I totally get it. I am also confident that you will not have any problem reapplying for it later. Enjoy the time off, and congrats on finishing your Masters!

[@freefirekashmir6441]

Everything is gonna be alright Ruby، trust the process۔۔۔ you are such an inspiration

[@RockDove5212]

Well done for putting your self -care and mental health first. Now, you still have it to look forward to if you want. ❤

[@PeaceChildGuy]

Just bought ‘Elements of Eloquence’ on your recommendation from video eight yrs ago, watched today. Mark/Paul both thank you Ruby. (Purchased as e-book from Barnes & Noble.) Greetings from Tucson. May the Lord continue to watch over and bless you. 😎🌵

[@beatricegiglio772]

I just want to thank you for sharing your experience; withdrawing your application must have been extremely hard and I can only look up to you for your courage. We are not failing at life just because we prioritize our mental health over careers/studies! I wish everyone would understand that

[@juliemacfadyen9799]

Congratulations on all your achievements and staying true to yourself. You should be incredibly proud of yourself getting into Oxford for your PhD but also being brave enough to do it at your face.

[@notamarra]

Congratulations Ruby on your mature decision not to rush into a PhD right after your Master's! It takes a lot of wisdom and self-awareness to recognize when the time isn't quite right, especially when you're not fully certain about your topic. I'm sure that when the right time and subject come along, you'll pursue it with the same thoughtfulness and dedication. Wishing you all the best in whatever comes next!

[@ambercone1287]

I'm in a really similar boat. I lost my mom in February. I kept pushing and pushing myself to keep up with school so that I could get into a professional program that I've been working toward getting into for the last two years. This whole entire year has been an uphill battle, and my mental health is in the trash, as is to be expected...I'm still very much in the middle of my grief. I got into my program.....and then two days later had another MASSIVE change in my family situation. At this point, I am frozen, and I think I need to take time to regroup, so I am 99% sure that I'm going to withdraw from school (temporarily) and decline my seat in the program. Which is absolutely bizarre. I spent 2 years working towards this, I thought I would be over the moon, but it's just not right for me right now. I have also been putting it off. It almost feels like a breakup. But, as others have said before me, education will always be there. Take care of your mental health now so that you can set yourself up for success later.

[@TheVitzy]

Hi Ruby, I randomly started watching your videos a few months ago and I just wanted to stop to comment. I'm a doctor and I often use my 'gut instinct' because as I'm sure you know it isn't really a fluffly random thing. It is actually your brain picking up on subconscious bodily cue that your logical conscious brain is unable to. Following my gut instinct has never done me wrong and it seems you're also making the right choice for your health!

[@alma2507]

You should be so proud, following your heart and your gut. Stay true to yourself and you can never go wrong❤

[@denitsamarchevska7534]

As someone who faced a somewhat similar dilemma back when I finished my Master’s, I feel this is 100% the right decision if you had any doubts to begin with. I also withdrew from the process for a PhD project which would have in many ways been the “dream” scenario because it just felt like personally (for somewhat different reasons in my case) it was just not something I was willing and able to do at the time. I ended up working in industry for 2 years before securing PhD funding again, which was in hindsight a muuuuch better fit, and DEFINITELY the better decision. Perhaps even more importantly, I entered the PhD with a completely different level of maturity and outlook on work-life balance. Unlike many of my somewhat younger colleagues, who had gone into the PhD after 4-5 years of full-time studying, I feel I had a much more healthy approach to organising my work and was much less “lost” about the whole process of being a working adult (because that’s what a PhD should be considered in my view). This really spared me much mental anguish. I’m pretty confident that had I continued the same way I’d done during my BSc and MA, I would have easily worked myself into the ground and had a miserable time. As a bonus, I had a very clear view of what life and work look like outside of academia, which made me appreciate the academic environment more and gave me perspective when issues inevitably arose. All of this is to say that I firmly believe people should only go into a PhD programme if they are 100% sure that’s what THEY want rather than what they SHOULD want/do. I’m defending in December so I can say it worked out absolutely for the best in my case and most likely will in yours too! Good luck! :)

[@trishadesouza4492]

You have so much wisdom to take the break, I can imagine that would have been such a difficult decision but I think it's an inspiring decision. On an unrelated note I find Rebecca and Jane Eyre to be very different, haha -- maybe it's just the lasting impression/feeling the books left once I finished each

[@kathyh.3677]

Congratulations on 7 years!!!🎉❤ it’s been so cool to see you grow! I didn’t catch the travel videos but I remember watching the glossier videos in the very beginning and I’ve stuck around since! I believe it was recommended in my feed but I loved your film style and voice and I was interested in products; especially, to understand the hype. Hope you stick around for a long long time ❤

[@annie8698]

Ruby I NEED to comment on this because I am in the exact same boat. I am in the last month of my masters, and was planning on starting my PhD in Feb. I had a meeting with my supervisor yesterday and she strongly encouraged me to wait, and apply for intake in eight months instead. I also spoke to a number of PhD candidates and they said you NEED a break between your masters and PhD. VERY good decision 🩷

[@annmarie6732]

Lovely Ruby. Whatever choices in life you are making most certainly suit you. You look so rested and content ❤

[@dbx132]

Hi Ruby. I was in the exact same spot as you! Wanted to do a PhD in physics right after my master's because I liked research so much, but finishing my thesis and degree really took a big toll on me and put me in a bad place mentally. So I'm going into industry first and when I feel ready I will do the PhD. It's okay that it takes longer than initially planned. We should always trust our gut feeling!

[@heidiheidi0]

As someone who finished a PhD, yes doing and finishing the PhD is much harder than getting in. You made the right decision to wait and reapply next year! You dont want to go into all that work and stressed burnt out!

[@hannahclercx6697]

Long time follower, never commented before but I had to now. I have had the exact same process where I wanted to do a PhD, decided against it at the end of my master thesis due to my mental health at the time and didn't know what i wanted to do after. After consciously doing 'nothing' for half a year, I ended up doing a PhD anyway because i just realized i really wanted to do research, but i'm so glad i waited because it would for sure have been a mistake to start immediately. Thank you so much for sharing, good to see that you're enjoying your current job :)

[@margijohnson3900]

You are amazing Ruby and all the best for the future whatever you decide. I thoroughly enjoy your vlogs and I’m a septuagenarian!

[@coffeenpages]

Even with pursuing my second bachelors degree it was a good three years before I went back into school and now I’m applying for masters. I truly believe letting yourself have a break and expanding your interests helps your approach to life and academia 😅

[@jeremyl3469]

You and I may be the exact opposite people in terms of life experiences and stage if life etc. I find you exuberance for life and openness to discuss your mental health struggles inspiring. Thank you for the channel.