The Problem With Fat Shaming (My Experience + The Science)

[@StephanieButtermore]

I hope you guys enjoyed the video! I feel like this is such an important topic that isn’t often discussed. Let me know what you think, I would love to hear your feedback or your personal experience in the comments 👇 Love you guys so much! 💕

[@racheldaniels9406]

Your videos help me so much! And it’s always the guys who have the most to say🙄

[@hallesullivan8311]

@@racheldaniels9406 actually it’s 50/50 girls are bad too.

[@liamneels8197]

You've helped me so much on my journey Stephanie. I know you've never had an ED, but so many of the same principles can carry over in the strict dieting and food focus. Somehow, the Universe had lined up my life path with yours, and by a miracle, I was ready to end my battle with my anorexia just as you made your all-in journey videos. It is so nice to have a model that weightlifted that went all-in and saw such positive benefits, while also staying raw enough to know it wasn't a walk in the park. This was just the video I needed. Thank you so much and godspeed on your book >:)

[@littlebirdblue4238]

This is ever so eye-opening, and hopefully might help contribute to the way society views shape. Wish you didn't have to endure this negativity as you're ever so wonderful and inspiring. Amazing to see your journey, and it really does help others. Think this video might help those of us who have these issues within ourselves mentally as well, to help combat our mental struggles during recovery. Incredible Thankyou so much 💕💕💕

[@kedisab467]

I love you and you voice inspire me and many other people with an ed😭

[@ynerome28]

i was fat shamed as a kid by my parents. i was 9 years old and dieting on cereal! i would only eat cereal 3 times a day and my mom was happy because i was loosing weight. At 14 my dad would tell me he would let me go out w friends if i ran a lap beforehand. Not surprising to say that i struggled with weight all my life slowly gaining weight more and more. All the fat shaming never helped, it only made me hate myself and therefor i wouldn't take care of my body and nourish it properly. 6 months ago i shifted tho. i started telling my self positive love affirmations and i started being thankful for my body. I switched my perspective and began trying to genuinely love myself. i began eating more nourishing foods and genuinely only ate when i was hungry. no diet, just a slight caloric deficit. ive slowly lost a total of 20 pounds. im no where near "skinny" but thats not my goal anyway, i genuinely feel so comfortable in my body now. I like taking care of it now.

[@tommie42]

Periodt❤❤❤

[@-amosc.presley-7192]

Is you an Author that is a Writer that write books? All because, what me is reading really touch my heart. Please, enjoy

[@avigailbc1]

I never understood parents that would teach their kids unhealthy eating habits and then fat shame them for being overweight. My mom was insecure her whole life for being shamed by her parents, even though she was an athlete as an adult

[@katerinamattasova2373]

Congrats girl❤️ u r on a great way! 🍀

[@AbhinavChoudharyOfficial]

congrats, you've entered adulthood. it happens with most of the people, fat or skinny

[@rikki7953]

Whether or not weight shaming "works", I just think someone's weight is a terrible reason to treat them as less than human.

[@sparklejumpropequeen667]

Ditto. Be. Fucking. Nice. 👍🏻

[@morgansimmons383]

Okay, I was waiting for someone to make this crucial point. THANK YOU for advocating for being a kind/decent person 😅

[@gracebailey6469]

In my psychology of eating class we learned that weight stigmatization is the last acceptable form of bias ( no laws against it really)

[@janehoe.]

@@gracebailey6469 what about ageism? Edit: specifically regarding your class, not the topic of this video**

[@gracebailey6469]

@@janehoe. I agree it is prevalent in hiring and mandatory retirement policies. It is interesting because crystallized intelligence which someone with a lot of work experience would have stays stable or actually improves with age. Things like well practiced skills but most people are not aware of this and make false generalizations. I did not say I agree with the article but weight bias is also prevalent in hiring policies, medical practice and even sales such as department stores.

[@Phillpak]

Fat shaming is such a big part of Asian culture and it really does mess up so many of my friends and colleagues. I’m so glad you made this video, I’m sure lots of people need to hear this and take a big step towards not fat shaming!

[@minyongcho7186]

Shame operates differently in Asian cultures from the USA. I can't speak for all Asian cultures, but at least in Korea, where I grew up, which has almost zero percentage of obese adults, people are raised to feel deeper obligations to those around them, be it their immediate family or larger society, so that they feel the responsibility to keep a certain body weight lest those around them be worried or they themselves not be presentable in public. I feel that being overweight in Korea is similar to neglecting one's personal hygiene and not washing one's body for months like a homeless person, in which case your family will worry and feel that you are not presentable in public.

[@sophiam.1625]

Yeah, it's rough because I'm active and not overweight by BMI standards, yet my Asian family frequently comments on my weight because I don't fit the ideal standards :(

[@midnight_rose2337]

It really is! My mom and all her friends would talk about how fat they were, when they were completely normal! I also started dieting at age 11 due to fat shaming and am still suffering with an eating disorder because of it. Unless you see someone you know who is actively engaging in unhealthy behaviors, don’t criticize them!

[@Lyversify]

I really believe that viewers of Alivia D'andrea's "Glow up diaries," should watch this video. Stephanie's video is informative and targets the issue of fat-shaming that Alivia experienced from her family.

[@AshNicole]

Yesss so true

[@aesthetics6869]

YES thank you.

[@heedwiig]

I think her family should watch it. Since I got a lot of hate because I kinda explained that her sister comment wasn’t meant to be mean but to encourage Alivia to lose weight. Disclaimer: I know it’s wrong, and you should never fat shame someone! but maybe they are worried about her and don’t know what else to do.

[@theendlesssummereatsurfwha9882]

Yes, absolutely!

[@charliedelrey737]

I just thought this! Especially as I got lots of replies to my comment telling me there was no problem in what they said...

[@sarahferguson1830]

I think part of what we're witnessing is a vicious cycle between shame and compulsion. Growing up, I was fat shamed by family even when I was at a normal weight. My response to that was to just eat in secret and wound up being overweight eventually.

[@morgankumar7224]

I feel this

[@wildtheim]

This happened to me and is still happening. I'm sorry you had to go throught that 😔

[@Yellowasky]

In school other girls in my class were under weight for their heights, I was in my BMR range and was not as small as them and was shamed through out my school life. It's pathetic I was not even overweight. And now I struggle with so much mental pressure about my weight

[@MyPinkZebras]

As someone in academia, I appreciate that you provide empirical evidence for everything you discuss. A lot of fitness influencers will say something is “scientifically proven” when I’m sure they’ve not read one journal article on the matter

[@AliciaChu1222]

I personally don’t think those who fat shame others really want to “motivate “ them to lose weight, they’re just very judgmental or want to feel being superior than other people.

[@ChlorineHeart]

Or they fat shame themselves in their head and project that onto other people

[@francescar6452]

Exactly... It's called concern trolling. How many people do you see "smoke shaming" or "alcohol shaming" people that smoke or drink?

[@luzlabajos3024]

So true...

[@gracebailey6469]

Exactly.

[@zaneshepherd5245]

Exactly they want to make themeselves feel better by putting someone else down and pick on the obvious thing to them which is a persons size.

[@yeeyeeasshaircut3929]

fat shaming happens A LOT to non-overweight women with cellulite, flabby stomachs or whatever. Its not about health

[@lordbongsesh3439]

Yeah honest like some women aren’t fat just don’t have abs or have like fat arms and people call them fat like no they’re fine

[@vocasoti]

I just know that if Stephanie was a man she would most definitely not have been as reprimanded for her all in approach

[@DiamantisHell]

They think looks reflects health spot by spot but it doesn't! people are so dumb it's infuriating

[@duskdawn1974]

Exactly like the way they shamed Billie Eilish and Melanie martinez for having normal bodies.

[@CherryJuli]

People started fat shaming me when I went from underweight to a normal weight.

[@simplynailogical]

When Jeff grabbed that bag of chips from u I was MAD

[@superbrack]

Please go and grab Ben's tub of hummus though

[@supperfuntime36]

Joke Janssen let him live his life, he’s cut back on the hummus a little Edit: my autocorrect said humans instead of hummus and I don’t need people thinking Bens the next Arnie Hammer

[@darcarazia]

Woahh didn't expect you to be here cRistine..love your videos btw

[@user-iw6vf4vl7n]

He was hungry.

[@gilbertorodriguezjr7310]

I laughed hard 😂

[@TefaLinChen]

I really don’t get why people feel so entitled to comment on somebody’s physical appearance. People have mirrors, they are aware of how they look, and we all have insecurities, so if u don’t have anything nice to say pls just stfu.

[@MS-kn4tt]

This.

[@ic9407]

Totally agree.

[@gracebailey6469]

exactly. Probably to make themselves feel superior because they likely have low self esteem

[@kwailcamp]

Exactly!

[@curlykidkay]

Preach

[@JeffNippard]

Great job with this!! Also mirin editing 😯

[@collarmole1819]

Supportive boyfriend!!!!

[@lindsaydoyle7970]

You lifting the weights has me LMAOOOO 🤣

[@kori7984]

@@lindsaydoyle7970 same!! So funny and cute 😂🤣

[@anniee221]

We love a supporting s/o!

[@daniellehv3976]

THIS! Thank you for this!

[@glamkakes3783]

As an obese person I can tell u this is all true. Being called fat didn’t make me stop eating it actually depressed me and made me eat more. Thankfully even though I am big I am very active and even ran a half marathon. Fat shaming does not work

[@Fac725]

I have also experienced both at different times in my life. Being called ‘fat’ when I was younger or getting pulled aside at work and being asked ‘what was wrong’ with me for being ‘too thin’. People need to show respect. Be concerned with your OWN body, not someone else’s 🙏

[@ar6assassin913]

You need to realize that calling someone fat isn’t shaming. If you genuinely think that calling someone fat is shaming them, then you must be extremely sensitive. It becomes shaming when someone starts to look at you in a different hindsight because of your weight. People need to stop being offended by the truth. I could see your point if they were taunting you, but calling you fat is a fact. Stop trying to avoid the reality of the situation. Own up to it and strive to fix it.

[@dohalimilqarasdeldemenanci8483]

@@ar6assassin913 thats how weak people have become. I am glad people called me fat 10 years ago, it motivated me to get better and I got better. Been in the best shape of my life for the past decade and feel super good.

[@missblueberry1033]

@@dohalimilqarasdeldemenanci8483 are you a guy and were you overweight/obese or just had a little bit of flab on your tummy? Not everyone is the same and women are more emotional and a lot of overweight/obese people use food as a coping mechanism (which probably wasn't the case for you), calling them fat makes them feel bad and in order to feel less bad they cope with it by eating It would be much more helpfull if people tried to help (assuming they really try to help, not just make themselfs feel better by putting someone else down) with love and understanding, not with hate, most people don't get motivated by negative comments, in fact they get demotivated by it

[@dohalimilqarasdeldemenanci8483]

@@missblueberry1033 I was 410lbs, so yeah I was very obese. Its funny you say women are more emotional, I thought women and men were equals......Being called fat should not been seen as an insult, its a sorry state that needs to be fixed(unless you dont care about living longer and better).

[@nataliem32]

Jeff's acting is another level lmfao

[@samanthapinto4511]

you need to watch his nerd vs. bro impression interspersed in his videos!

[@yacellborges2977]

Indeed LOL

[@nataliem32]

@@samanthapinto4511 I have lmfao its so much😭😭

[@mrsdragonite]

I was like wow! Look at that immaculate form! I'm just slinging the weights wrong!

[@HWORD-xg6hi]

We need more parody skits from Jeff!!!

[@user-hd8ej8yx9p]

Am i the only one who thinks she looks gorgeous no matter what? it's just different types of gorgeousness

[@StephanieButtermore]

🥺🥺🥺 thank you!!

[@slashpie9013]

Absolutely true! No matter on which stage of her journey she was - I was always astonished when she smiled

[@karlcam]

Yaaaas!!! She's so f* beautiful!!!

[@TessaLyn]

She has always been absolutely stunning.

[@valeriaconde123]

I LOVE THIS COMMENT

[@luluraheem8487]

I was fat shamed when I was a child. I wasn't extremely overweight or anything, I was just slightly chubby in the tummy, but my siblings and to a lesser degree my mother all teased me about it. It got to the point where I was extremely self-conscious about my body, even as a 10-year-old. I brought it up many years later to my mom and she just told me they were "just joking". I know that my mother never meant to be hurtful or anything, but it is still a source of a lot of pain for me, especially since my mother is herself overweight and has dealt with a lot of body-shaming. Thankfully, I never developed any kind of eating disorders, so I don't have it as bad as some other people have, but it still sometimes a source of low self-esteem and self-deprecation for me.

[@amrutat7660]

Dude same. The exact thing happened to me. Everything. It feels like we have it easier, but I'm always feeling guilty for being 'woke' when my mom faces the body-shaming you know. It's annoying.

[@yn1642]

Omg same thing happened with me Correction *is happening

[@aamu3]

ugh that's so horrible :/ it's the worst when something in the past really stuck with you and after all the years you finally understand it but the other people just kinda dismiss it :( I never had my family shame me although my mom and I went on a diet-journey kind of thing so I dont get bigger, I was quite chubby - either way I was bullied at school for being like that. when I got to high school I got called out for having a big butt and it wasn't just once or twice... I remember two girls who almost on a daily basis called after me saying "ass!" and really, that just did it for me. I'm now 20 years older and I have a certain paranoia about my butt and it's honestly driving me insane sometimes - I also never felt comfortable in my body .. but I'm trying to change that now, with a healthier lifestyle (now that I'm grown up lol)

[@Bianca-nu3cg]

My older brother used to always call me fat and tell me that the weight will catch up to me when I got older. I was really young at the time and it screwed me up, but whenever I bring it up to him or my parents they always claim that they don’t remember or that he was just teasing. My mom will still make comments now and again, telling me I need to lose weight and will sometimes try to put me on a diet. I love my family, but I don’t think they realize how much commenting on my weight has mentally/emotionally affected me. But I’ve luckily been able to keep a somewhat healthy relationship with food, I just wish they wouldn’t always have to bring it up.

[@miskay5526]

You want to know something awful? I grew up fat, was fat-shamed by my parents, developed an ED (bulimia), my parents eventually found out, and they still fat shame me. So yeah, family can be real callous assholes when it comes to fatshaming.

[@i361x3]

That is horrible :/ I hope you are doing okay though? Big virtual hug to you ❤

[@nathalielopez7989]

Sending you lots of love and praying for a safe recovery for you 💓 It hurts the most when it comes from family, I hope you’re able to find community and acceptance from people who uplift you.

[@J_Kwan]

Holy shit thats awful!! It’s horrible that family particularly will do that, as if “”””physical health””””” (which is how they excuse their fat shaming when it isn’t even that black and white) is more important than mental health. If you’re seriously overweight, you can always exercise or eat less IF YOU WANT, but recovering from mental illnesses like depression, anxiety, anorexia etc is so so hard. Mental illness can stick with you in subtle horrible ways that being “””unfit””” will not. It’s absolutely tragic that they don’t see that. Wish you all the best for the future :(

[@mariahmckinney100]

I hope you're able to distance yourself from them safely. Family is sometimes the worst for our mental health, and we can't be afraid to distance ourselves from them for our own sanity and peace of mind. 😔🤗

[@Roseyposey10]

Same here, I hope you are doing well now!

[@sadieherbert1963]

I was fat shamed at the age of 12. That snowballed into 15 years of anorexia. I'm thankfully now on the road to recovery & your videos are such a great source in aiding my progress. Thankyou xxx

[@sarahburns42]

I had my brother tell me “I could never be anorexic because I don’t have the willpower to starve myself.” At the age of 11 I walked into the kitchen and my step mom grabbed my stomach and asked “what’s that?” My dad always used to criticize how much I worked out and weighed. That caused me an eating disorder that is 5 years in the process that I’m trying to recover from.

[@adrianschoensted1667]

I'm sorry to hear that. My younger brother also fought with an eating disorder, and though it only continued for 8-9 months, it was a difficult time for our family and an even difficulter time for him. I truly hope you have reached out to you family, and espicially doctors for help. The introduction of proffesionals was the deciding factor for us.

[@TT-fn1xb]

I hope you recover. Eating disorders rob you of so much life and I know recovery is hard but it's well worth it. It just gives you a better quality of life. Best wishes to you. Stick with it. 💜

[@aamu3]

ugh I'm so sorry that happened to you and I really wish you all the best in your recovery!! often times the fault really lies with the system/the family you have and the sort of dynamics that are happening in your household... honestly in most cases, kids aren't chubby because their family is all happy and flowers and all that - it's often because the surrounding system (family, school, playgrounds) causes a certain kind of stress for the child that makes them eat too much or eat unhealthyly

[@sarahburns42]

@@adrianschoensted1667 thank you, I’m sorry to hear about your brother but I hope he and your family are doing better now. After I got severely underweight I went into a day treatment program at the hospital because I couldn’t handle any inpatient. It was definitely a turning point and helped me immensely, specifically in the dynamic of my family.

[@sarahburns42]

@@TT-fn1xb thank you, that’s what I’m finally learning. Nobody that loves/likes themselves would treat their own body like that and it’s something I would never wish for anyone else to go through, so why should I do those things to myself? I truly missed out in high school a ton because I was so absorbed in it, and looking back I have so much regret. That was one of the best situations that I’d been put in in my life and I threw away the opportunities and good times being engulfed. Now that I look back I know I don’t want to miss out on life like that again, it’s a scary thing being so in your head for years that you miss a lot of the world going on around you. Thank you and I hope the best for you as well. Stay safe 💕

[@kavyakaushal9046]

fat shaming and people calling me “big” and “a cow” resulted in anorexia (i am now weight recovered and much stronger) so the lesson is just keep your unnecessary comments to yourself please ☺️🙏

[@nadjakostic8437]

same here, fat shaming coming from family members led me to an eating disorder

[@xXxbaxroxXx]

But unfortunately those ppl rather you have aneroxia than being fat because that's what they view as attractive

[@nadjakostic8437]

@@xXxbaxroxXx exactly

[@ic9407]

I totaly understand you, my family always called me barrel, pig, fattie and other stuff and now i starve myself... trying to recover, but its not easy

[@kavyakaushal9046]

@@nadjakostic8437 awww i hope you’re doing well now :)

[@caityhorosko8782]

Ugh this hits home so hard. I’ve ALWAYS struggled with losing weight, I’ve ALWAYS yo-yo dieted, gaining and losing 50 pounds or more. I am finally off the wagon. I see a therapist who specializes in mindful eating and nutrition, I’ve gotten rid of my scale and haven’t weighed myself in a year and am finally focusing purely on how food and movement makes me feel. It is so so refreshing to see a “fitness influencer” not pushing cardio plans or fit tea diets etc. Thanks for this video, I feel very seen haha. And for the huge amounts of effort you put into all your videos, you rock Steph!

[@superbrack]

I can totally see where that doctor part is coming from. In med school we are constantly getting told how obesity is such a problematic worldwide phenomenon, yet they don't teach us how to properly inform/motivate our patients on this matter, or even when we should be trying to do this. Anyways thank you for reminding me to NOT judge people just by their weight, I hope I'll do better than that.

[@Witcherworks]

Can I ask a question. If I was picking up people to play on my basketball team and I chose not to pick an overweight person. Am I wrongfully judging them?

[@Witcherworks]

@happy face yes that is the logical way to see it but remember people use emotions for validation so it will be seen as, shaming, racism, genderism, and any other fantasy word people want to use.

[@Witcherworks]

@happy face Tell that to people who say woman are equal to men but in the military there are TWO different standards. You are telling me things I already know but it seems 95% of the population do not considers these truths when their feelings are hurt.

[@Witcherworks]

@happy face I just listen to what people say and try to understand the intentions of their words. Most things in life are lies and everyone just hasn’t caught on yet. They need people like that. Ones that will believe anything other than what hurts them.

[@e.458]

Isn't it strange that for other health conditions there are treatment plans, referrals to specialists, physiotherapy and for weight related conditions, the medical community has the method of wagging their finger at the patient? Telling someone with an eating disorder to start eating better is like telling a clinically depressed patient to just lighten up.

[@abigailkemp7626]

She’s literally such an intelligent woman and speaks so well we love her.... much love for u Steph can’t wait for u to come out with your book!

[@jackiececilia3675]

I was fat shamed by my mom when I was younger and it really affected my self-esteem. I know she had good intentions but her tone and how she focused her attention on my weight really hurt my feelings. As an adult, I learned to love exercise and eating healthy because it made me feel good, which is not something she taught me. Now as a mom myself, I don’t comment on my daughter’s weight or make jokes about her size because she deserves to have high self-esteem and self worth.

[@veganblunders7056]

My mom did and still does this, it's a hard one because I know she thinks its a good thing to say. I try not to be to harsh on her because her mum was much worse and so was her dad, my grandad, who's called me fat before. I'm still very much so struggling with my image of myself, but happy to hear you're on the other side

[@zahrakassam6510]

I’m going through this right now and fixing it is hard as hell 😭 definitely will not treat my future children the same way

[@janisian4364]

I starved myself during high school. I was fat shamed by classmates and adults when I weighed 118 lbs at 5 foot 3 inches. I have an hourglass shape and a guy at school told me, “You don’t have a bikini body.” I was told my thighs were too big to wear yoga pants. When I gained weight in my twenties and was 135 lbs, my 350-lb aunt made it a point to tell me I was getting fat and laughed and asked if I was a closet eater. My ex boyfriends had made it a point to let me know while I was dating them that I no longer “look fit” or that I was “getting fat.” I don’t comment on other people’s weight. I have never understood people who do this. I am 132 lbs now, and I feel huge. I have trouble eating because when I was 118 lbs and what I thought was tiny, I was still criticized. Thank you for your content and having so much courage to stand up for us women and for advocating for our health.

[@AbianahTheGemini]

I would try to never date anyone who called me fat. I never dated or had sex with any man that called me fat and I’m 201 pounds right now due to antipsychotics and binge eating disorder and bulimia yet I make it a point to never date or have sex with someone that calls me fat. You can’t really control family members and I have been fat shamed by family all my life. I was 140 in 6th grade and I was like 4’7 I been fat my whole life the thinnest I ever was was 130 at 5’1 so I have never been tiny I’m just bigger and I have a bad relationship with food.

[@denisetamhom0805]

As a woman, as a mother, as a heavier-set athlete, I thank you for this video. People have fat shamed me my whole life because I never was skinny and I was "fat". I have been active my whole life and people will tell me "oh how do you move when you're so fat?" Most of this came from family members. THIS video and the studies you have provided helps me realize not to listen to haters and keep kicking ass.

[@malinicorrea9379]

Even if fat-shaming """""worked"""""'", it would still be wrong. Putting fat people through mental trauma all in the name of making them thinner just shows how little society actually values the well-being of fat people. Great video Steph!

[@GardenGuy1942]

But being overweight is unhealthy

[@brookekarington]

@@GardenGuy1942 nope. Not all overweight people are unhealthy. There are PLENTY of athletes that are “overweight” but would be considered the healthiest around. People tend to forget that body fat ≠ bad, and that it doesn’t actually mean “fat”.

[@GardenGuy1942]

@@brookekarington if your 20 or 30, sure a bit of extra weight isn’t a problem, but being obese and/or being overweight when you get older is. There’s a reason people that are overweight die sooner than people of normal weight. I understand the view of positive body image and not shaming others, but the reality of it can’t be ignored because it makes people uncomfortable. It’s wrong to not say it’s unhealthy, just like smoking or drinking

[@malinicorrea9379]

@@GardenGuy1942 Did you know that people in the overweight BMI category actually live longer than people in the "healthy" BMI category? Please do your own research looking at more recent findings, as science has come a long way. Just because there are for example, associations between things like heart disease and diabetes and "overweight/obesity" does not mean that being fat *caused* those issues. You can encourage people to lead healthy lifestyles without making weight the focus. *But more importantly*, to respond to your original comment, "being overweight is unhealthy" is no excuse to shame or target fat people, even if they were unhealthy. It's not your business, and fat-shaming is despicably harmful. The issue is not that "it makes people uncomfortable". Fat-shaming indirectly kills people, through poorer mental health, worse treatment in the health care fields, and discrimination. You may not realize the impact that your words have on fat people, especially if you have their best interests at heart, but please look up some writings by fat people on the impact of weight stigma. I really recommend Your Fat Friend's essays which you can find online, they're a good place to start.

[@julesofie7660]

@@GardenGuy1942 but why do people feel like, somebody else's health is their business? and why does hardly comment on unhealthy behavior, that supports unhealthy habits as long as it also supports beauty standards? dying your hair is also not particularly healthy. tanning excessively is also unhealthy. even using plastic cutting boards leads to eating micro plastic, which is not healthy. if it really was about health, pointing out obesity would not be the thing people should focus on. and to be honest, ones health is only their own business.

[@agatal1487]

"mental health is just as much as part of your overall wellbeing as physical health" girl, i love you. ❤❤❤

[@Laura-in6tm]

The only thing fat shaming gave me was an eating disorder 😭👋

[@i361x3]

Same 🙈 I got over it last year and I hope you are doing well too 🙂❤

[@neverknown7373]

Mine was the opposite people called me skinny so I want to get skinnier oops

[@ayasaleh7484]

Same 😭

[@TheBadJayne]

Same. I guess that happens way to often.

[@helena-jh3fw]

mine skinny shamed me and i developed ✨ bulimia ✨

[@hettijayne]

Ive defo been fat shamed before, when i was a kid it led me into my eating disorder that i struggled with for years.

[@jordinapigrau4769]

Same here

[@vt7261]

You are not alone

[@crystalsbookishlife]

Same

[@shutupanya]

Same

[@magdalenayankova2918]

Same

[@fernandao.5001]

It must be noted that around 50% of people who have lived with obesity since childhood have body dismorphic disorder, that between 25 to 50% of them have binge eating disorder and that people with obesity are 9 times more likely to have suffered from abuse in childhood. What I mean is, food is never just food. We have to be aware that the people who we are targeting with fat shaming are likely struggling and have struggled their whole lives with issues surrounding trauma, body image and self worth. We should be supportive of their journeys and educate people around us to stop this cycle of self hate that drives many people (thin/fat/obsese) into self destructive patterns and mental health struggles.

[@dzesskujo61]

Please, stop making excuses. Food is just food, and delicious food is something greedy overweight people cherish.

[@AM-nv5ww]

@@dzesskujo61 you’re so ridiculous and ignorant it genuinely hurts to witness lol. I feel bad for the ppl in your life who have to deal with an attitude like this. Hope you have the day you deserve 🥰

[@ernestinagonzalez2673]

@@dzesskujo61 I would advice you to look up what reaction is caused by sugar as it is the same heroin causes. Do some research in evidence based practice

[@andreadabovich5808]

I have struggled with weight since I was a kid. My mom had me doing Weight Watchers, South Beach Diet, salads for dinner, etc. starting when I was 12 or 13. It was and still is a horrible experience! I know she was trying to make things easier for me, but in turn it triggered a negative relationship with food. Thank you for making these videos and sharing what it is like for some.

[@moeyk97]

I’ve been fat shamed as long as I remember. being compared to my other siblings and cousins and for just being an overweight kid. it had led me to have an eating disorder when I first started realizing that I can control my eating habits if I want to So, it made me self isolate and lose my social life all I did was count my calories and obsess over how much and how long i’ve exercised for ): It was hell. I was cold and tired all the time. Nobody tried to help me and I got back up and recovered all on my own. Literally went thru all of that because I was fat shamed so many times as a freaking kid😭 thinking about it now makes me upset but i’m so glad for everything cause now i’m healthier than i’ve ever been both physically and mentally 🧡

[@AbhinavChoudharyOfficial]

it's bad to fat shame a kid, they can't make decisions for themselves like adults

[@lilyvanterve]

I'm in this place right now. I can't seem to stop obsessing over calories and food is all I think about 24/7. Literally as I fall asleep I think to myself, "What am I going to eat for breakfast when I wake up?" It's exhausting. I'm so over it but I don't know how to stop. I really don't know what to do. :/

[@oOegdelwonOo]

@@lilyvanterve I went through that when I graduated high school. What helped me was genuinely learning to enjoy food without thinking about how many calories were in it. My first meal like this was at Sonic. For the first time I didn't look at the calories on the screen, just ate it and enjoyed the flavors. I still lie in bed at night thinking about what I will eat for breakfast, but it's not because I'm hungry. I genuinely love preparing my food and eating it, too. On top of that, around that time I met my husband. Social eating really helped me because it was awkward to look up the nutritional information on a date! Haha but that's just my experience. I hope you find what you're looking for!

[@hspd]

I can totally relate to your story. Went through an over-exercising and starvjng/bingeing phase for more than 10 years. I was slim but mentally exhausted. I took a break for a year and just ate what I wanted and my appetite regulated and now my both my body and my mental health sit in a happy place.

[@chasinghollygolightly5845]

me too.. :( We got through it strong!

[@haley9044]

I took a class in college that was all about how the way mothers communicate with daughters affects their body image! It was super cool. So yeah, there’s tons of research on this and none of it supports fat shaming.

[@SoVidushi]

Whoaa that sounds so interesting! What did it say about fatshaming?

[@JuneStay]

In the musical theatre/acting industry, bigger girls are always cast as the “funny friend” or “ugly one”. Not usually seen as smart or sexy or anything like that. It’s so annoying! 🙄 and family commenting on weight is so hurtful definitely more than strangers! Love your videos! 🙋🏽💖✨✨

[@-amosc.presley-7192]

Obviously?

[@WhatIsItToBurn]

Same with men to be fair. Hardly ever do you see a fat man as the attractive guy. I'd disagree with the smart thing though. Loads of films have fat women/men as smart people, they are not usually the main cast, but fat scientists are quite often a thing. Let's be real though, bigger people are less attractive on average to society. If you want an attractive woman/man in a film as a love interest, making them fat isn't going to be something most of the audience can click with. When a character has to be hot, the audience needs to also think they are hot, it's not going to happen with a fat actor/actress to most people.

[@ericdunthorne1981]

If the goal is to make money the target audience is going to be catered to. Since the majority of the population isn't attracted to fat people.... It would be silly to make the lead character someone the audience isn't going to care about as much. You want the audience to be engaged by the lead not repulsed.

[@nolor8397]

we need to support our bigger girls more

[@joshsutton-smith1245]

@@nolor8397 yes we should support them in getting healthier, therefore slimmer, regardless. It is not healthy to promote obesity

[@ludzioba2533]

We need to start thinking about how our words affect other people when we don't even notice, this is such an important topic and I loved the way you talked and raised awareness about it! Amazing video, thank you ❤️

[@adultingwithme6573]

I used to be overweight all throughout my teenage years. Fat shaming does nothing to me but trauma and self-hatred causing me to eat more to cope up with these stress and emotions. I started to lose weight because of intrinsic motivation and fortunately after I lost my fat shaming friends. It kinda is related to this study. It really is just my experience tbh. I really don't know about you. But really guys, I wish I had found out before to first love yourself before anything else. I used to hate myself before and I was the most unhealthy and unhappy person ever. Now I dont feel much guilty when I eat comfort food, because it's easier for me to start to love and forgive myself. I wish more people would love themselves. Pls

[@Miabella_pink]

I followed your entire journey for years and I can say you look so much better now not because of the weight number or the aesthetics but you look happier 🥰. Love you and Jeff

[@brittanymarieee4375]

She really does

[@claudiaglows]

Having struggled with an eating disorder for 2 decades, I am so grateful for the beautiful example you are setting! Thank you for being brave enough to put yourself out there, anxiety and all. You are gorgeous at any size, and it is lovely I see you grow more and more into a shape you feel at home in

[@myhairdays9783]

It’s crazy at how her highest weight you could still see all the muscle she still had.. btw thank you for this video it means so much more coming from you because you’ve actually gone through it

[@indigopatrona]

Fat shaming by doctors has a lot more consequences than just making people feel stressed out. A good friend of mine has been overweight for a number of years, and had been limiting her activity due to chronic joint pain that was triggered by walking around. Like, crawling on her hands and knees the next day kind of pain. Several doctors told her it was because she was overweight and needed to lose some weight, until she found one who identified that she had a tendon issue that was related primarily to bone impingement on the tendon in the joint (if I recall correctly) - not her weight at all. Once that was addressed through physio, she was able to slowly build her exercise habits, and then her diet, and now she's actually lost quite a bit of the weight in a very gradual and sustainable way. I know there are plenty of activities that are easy on joints (swimming especially comes to mind), but I don't know why multiple doctors expected her to push through significant pain in order to establish a healthy level of activity. The fact that losing the weight would not have actually helped with her pain much at all makes it all the more infuriating. ...and this anecdote doesn't even highlight the ways that doctors ignore other more serious health issues and just diagnose people as fat. Huffington Post had a long article on it a few years ago. Insurance companies actually require doctors to comment on patients' weight whether or not it's germane to the issue the patient comes in for. It's insidious af. highline.huffingtonpost.com/articles/en/everything-you-know-about-obesity-is-wrong/

[@cheer333forever]

This is a huge reason I’m pre-med. My mom has an autoimmune disease and thankfully she found an amazing physician, but only after years of uninformed and mean doctors.

[@mmmgoes]

@@benchoflemons398 some of them tend to suggest blanket approaches though (cuz it's statistically the most effective, and they usually have to see so many patients) but for the few people it wont apply to, it can be pretty demoralizing to be told something you obviously already knew.

[@RoyalReyna]

@@benchoflemons398 Its clear by your comment you didnt read what OP said, you completely missed the point

[@RoyalReyna]

@@benchoflemons398 Yes, but why comment on something that you didnt read? It makes no sense, your point is mute and you could've saved yourself time and embarrassment by just taking the 60 the seconds or so it would take to read the comment in the first place

[@patriciae3082]

There is for sure a definite need to train medical professionals on how to speak about weight and weight loss. The medical system clearly failed your friend here and that's a problem. The medical system consistently fails in the weight category through either ham-handed attempts to solve the issue or simply ignoring it. And. Exercise is not required for weight loss. Your friend being overweight (from your description) was related to her eating habits more than her activity levels. When I ran 5 miles every day, lifted weights three times a week and took yoga/pilates/barre every day, I could literally eat whatever I wanted because I was burning off the vast majority of those calories. When I got injured and couldn't do those things, I started gaining weight (rapidly) because I never changed my eating habits. I lost the weight before I was able to get active again, simply by taking a look at my portion sizes and grasping that I didn't need to eat an entire avocado, two pieces of (buttered) toast, two eggs and two slices of bacon for breakfast. Instead, I could eat one slice of (buttered, always) toast, half an avo, one egg and one slice of bacon (sometimes none, sometimes two depending on how I felt). Now, more than 10 years later, I lift weight a few times a week and take an occasional yoga/pilates/barre class. My physical activity is less, so I require fewer calories to maintain my weight. And I'm happy where I am. I volunteer as a a counselor in an HIV clinic. People come to me becausethey are HIV+ and need some help coping with the diagnosis. Many of my clients feel that their drug use, alcohol use, smoking, weight, etc are not germane to their HIV status. But they are. If a person is smoking four packs of cigarettes a day, I have a responsibility to raise that as a health issue. If a person is drinking a grip of vodka each day, I have a responsibility to raise that as a health issue. If a person comes in obese and/or begins to gain more weight (that is not needed), I have a responsibility to raise that as a health issue. While the person may be perfectly healthy at that moment, it is my job to help them understand that health is not static. You may not have lung cancer/cirrhosis/cardiovascular disease today, but that behavior is putting you at risk in the long run. No one should be shamed for being fat. And talking to someone about their weight is not necessarily shaming.

[@DeTomboy4]

Any time you post a video I rush over. I will comment this every time, but it wasn't until you that I finally stopped yo yo dieting and counting calories. I'm 7 months into my journey and I couldn't be happier and freer. Please know that with every post you put out you save a life. Truly save a life. A life of stressing over your body is not a life lived. Thank you. Truly truly thank you.

[@helen1058]

I lost 22lbs due to long COVID and despite feeling worse than I ever have, everyone compliments me on my weight and appearance now.

[@agircekim]

i feel you. i was sick with severe gastritis and was starving for months because of it. i lost 53 lbs and everybody was like "don't gain it back" when i was just happy to be alive. after i recovered i had an immense hunger and gained 40 lbs back. my weight is now steady and i'm just happy to be healthy. the gastritis is not fully gone, but people just can't hold back commenting on my weight. they disguise it as being concerned for my health, so it's really bothering me. i'd like to lose 30 lbs, but not by starving and i just want to do it at my own pace and nobody to butt in.

[@radiorebel8223]

I lost some weight in highschool and ended up getting more attention from others. Which just ended up making me feel worse about myself because I realized how superficial everyone who now gave me more attention was and how it didn’t matter to them who I was. I ended up with a worse opinion about those I was surrounded by, and I practically gained weight back just so it would go back to normal. Honestly, the only reason I’m considering trying to lose weight again as an adult is bc now I have less interaction with others, which means I’ll notice a change less. At least then part of me can pretend that people aren’t always as horrible.

[@sydney5706]

Who else clicked so fast when they saw Stephanie posted!

[@jenniferg3401]

I took all the fat shaming since I was little to heart where I could never be happy with myself which also lead me into an ed. I never think it’s people’s place to tell others how to feel, thank you so much for this video.

[@missblueberry1033]

Honestly the studies weren't suprising to me at all, I'm glad that they exist through, so people without empathy can be shown some facts I think 99% of people fatshame, because they want to feel superior or because they think it's funny and only say it's to help in order to make themselfs feel better over their shitty behaviour

[@hayleysmith1817]

hahaha loved Jeff's "gym bro" acting!

[@samanthaeaton9911]

I feel like this should be titled "Is Bullying Effective?" lol

[@nternetrat]

RIGHT hahahaha.. hm

[@morgansimmons383]

THAT part

[@AbianahTheGemini]

It’s not just fat shaming it’s bullying!!!

[@saveyourselves5923]

My sentiments exactly. One You Tuber recently posted her dexa scan results online and found that she was holding a lot of excess visceral fat and was prediabetic... despite having a low BMI and was seemingly very healthy. I myself am 35, healthy weight, but my actual health is somewhat poor. I also suffer from extreme hunger and had bulemia for many years. I recently embarked on a carnivore keto protocol which helped a bit, but not fully. I desperately want to do what you're doing and go all in. Sadly, I have gut problems so bad that I can't eat hardly any foods, so I just watch you and feel sorry for myself. But I feel like you're so brave, and that gives me courage. I'm surrounded by unsupportive family who habitually fat shame people with no regard for facts or the impact it's had on me growing up. Once I've healed my gut, it's only a matter of time before I too must face up to these challenges. Thank you for sharing your journey.

[@melaniehaynie7841]

This hits home so hard. My 12 year old is overweight and I get pissed when people try to "help" him through fat shaming. It doesn't work and only makes him feel worse!!

[@Witcherworks]

So do you help him by not saying anything? Or by not doing anything? Then what is the solution, make him feel better about being obese? In my book that's called enabling right?

[@Tom-vu1wr]

@@Witcherworks I don't think u can blame or push the 12 year old in anyway. Since diet and exercise at this age r dependant on parents it's the parents decision that has to change this

[@Witcherworks]

@@Tom-vu1wr Of course but the argument of others is to not push the child. At the end of the day people should mind their business unless they have facts of abuse.

[@Tom-vu1wr]

@@parkervybiral1736 that's what I was thinking but it's kinda awkward to say that

[@parkervybiral1736]

@@Tom-vu1wr yeah I was trolling a bit it I think... may just delete the comment tbh

[@meganfrasz8088]

On the flip side, I was criticized all the time for being too skinny as a kid. It felt like I could only ever be the skinny kid because it was immediately attached to my personal identity. It made me paranoid to ever gain weight and I’ve struggled off and on with EDs. Watching your all in journey and seeing how well you handled the hate comments helped me immensely!!

[@AlejandraGonzalez-cy6lo]

Fatshaming is so real that I've even received mean comments about my body when I was doing real effort to be thinner and healthier. Things like "You are not *that* fat anymore" or "oh, are you dieting and exercising? I could tell since you always look the same" have changed the perspective that I have of myself, and made me think that I'll never be enough; to the point that now, that for the first time I am actually overweight, I don't even like going out to the street cause I feel judged and unworthy of having fun or enjoy myself. Everyday is a struggle... but now that I'm conscious of that I've started to try to develop a healthier relationship with food, and with my body. Your journey has truly bean an inspiration to me, and a lot of people!!! and I enjoy your general content so much, because it's backed up by science and your personal experience, witch I've come to really appreciate and trust; so thank you thank you thank you!!!!! I'll like to end this comment by sharing something that my psychologist told me on our last session: It's not that you shouldn't hear other peoples opinion, or that you shouldn't care; it's that you should listen and analyze through your knowledge and experience if what they are saying its actually true or valuable to yourself. Cause often times, people are talking through their experiences, their fears, their realities; but that doesn't make what they are saying true to YOU.

[@xiaoranmo7308]

I think Asian parents are really "good" at fat shaming.

[@FirebreathingVegan1]

Totally, but I never took it personally bc it was so normal 😂. Just like, "You're not taking care of your skin!" Everytime I walked in from a run with a super red face.

[@missblueberry1033]

@Jacqueline Filo no, beeing really skinny is not the same as beeing anorexic...

[@xiaoranmo7308]

@Jacqueline Filo from my personal and friends experience, Asian parents generally call out both little skinny and fat personal same time. Basically they will wanna their young generation body weight move in a small range.

[@psionicinversion]

@Jacqueline Filo thats probably because underweight people arent crying like little babies starting a thinpositive movement and lying to everyone how absolutely great being underweight is.

[@welshdragon2927]

@Jacqueline Filo they ain't wrong tho. Who thinks fat equals hot?

[@alinearaujo1509]

OMG. This video is soooo necessary. A lot of family members wanted to help but only made the problem worse. Supporting and being there for someone you love is definitely more important than fat shaming.

[@kelseygilbert1362]

I’m a doctoral student in clinical psychology. I work in the eating disorder field and I study weight stigma and internalized weight bias. This is so well done and important to highlight how pervasive and detrimental weight stigma is

[@rph_redacted]

As a "relatively fit" person, I've seen so much fat shaming in fitness groups, it's disgusting.

[@TheEnigmaticmuse]

Fitness folks (not all, but plenty) don't want to admit they have eating disorders.

[@whydoiexist7742]

I used to rebel against the diet industry when i got fatshamed by my parents and doctors back in the day - but i would slowly stop eating in front of them out of the fear of being shamed for doing so, and start binging in my room. This was the average day for me for 7 years, not eating in front of people and eating tons of snacks in my room when i started shaking out of starvation through the day. for the majority of my life, i was overweight. but after so many years of being called a pig by my classmates and being yelled at by my mom for eating in secret, i started starving myself out of desperation to lose weight, and lost 60 lbs from 150 to 87 (we carry weight differently) and became severely anorexic. The day i started recovery and announced it on my snapchat, i got a message from this one random tinder guy that told me that i was perfect the way i am and begged me not to recover. This happened twice with two different men, which has ruined recovery so much for me. to sum it up, fat shaming never bothered me at first, but it has created numerous eating disorders a few years later. I'm probably not the only one, and i hope whoever reads this knows that it doesn't matter what people say, just be you and be alive and EAT HOWEVER YOU WANT. you are beautiful and you are worth living a life without being scared of food.

[@alexiarondeau]

First of, those guys made some really stupid and jerk comments! That is so frustrating! I sincerely wish you the BEST and to find a way for you to be and feel healthy and to love yourself, for yourself. Sending you love, thanks for sharing a part of your path.

[@amyg8176]

Literally I’ve never met a man who was worth it

[@maudgrefte221]

My mom shamed my weight by giving me "compliments" when I was underweight (You are so skinny, you would be even prettier if you had some curves!) and upped it a notch when I got obese due to emotional eating (You used to be so pretty and skinny, it is a real shame you gained so much weight). Never focused on the reason why I gained that weight and how solving my mental health was a priority over my physical appearance. I then showed her some pictures of what my aesthetic goals were (which is not skinny, I want to grow some muscles!) and she let me know that that is definitely not what she deems pretty or feminine. Suffice to say that I have stopped giving a crap about what she says about my body today but her voice of the past still haunts me sometimes :/

[@mariag8278]

You know a sister is a scientist when she has an alphabetically ordered APA reference list lol!!

[@TheBlushersJournal]

😆😆

[@femafull]

Yass

[@wwnnn16]

Stephanie, I never thought I’d come to enjoy this channel as much as do. Thank you☺️

[@nyankyun]

Our research group focuses on obesity, weight stigmatization, behaviour and physical activity research. I recently learned that in similar ways, obese patients feel negative connotations towards how they are called. We try to say 'people living with obesity' instead of obese people. I'm still learning but I think it's important that we use proper language. Obesity is a medical diagnosis caused by many things it's not just being 'fat' or 'overweight'. Thanks for this video Stephanie, it's super important on how we treat our growing population of people with obesity and mental health relating to weight.

[@katimoy6221]

My mom telling me my whole life that I was too fat. Even when I clearly wasn't. (I am 1.75 m and weighted 65 - 68 kg at the time, but I worked out, had muscle weight etc.). I felt terrible most of the time. I felt like I couldn't eat the dessert and I was always looking at my mom to see if she'd agree with me eating another piece of bread or not. Once I turned 18 and moved to the U.S. for a year, I gained 10kg or 18lbs. When my mom saw me for the first time again, her first reaction was "I let one daughter go and two are coming back". It hurt me a lot but I acted as if I was happy with myself and my body cause I didn't want her to notice that I was hurting too. It's been a little over a year now and I have lost half of the weight that I gained, yet she still criticises me a lot. However, at the beginning of this year something switched in my head and I am starting to love myself. Finally. After 20 years on this earth. I'm sorry for this long text, just wanted to let it out.

[@kwailcamp]

Sometimes mother's are the worst fat shamers. The mark that leaves can be hard to erase.

[@fishyolfish]

Congrats girl! So glad you finally made peace. I had some moments with my mom as well when she would get extremely mad at me or tell me that I needed to lose weight and make quite insensitive jokes sometimes. To this day I'm absolutely terrified of breaking or losing anything and I kinda get panic attacks when it happens because she'd always get so angry at me. Working as a server/bartender helped with this a lot tho lol. Anyway, I don't know how your relationship with your mom is, but now that I'm older, I've learned I can talk about such things to my mom. I understand that she's just a human being, probably with her own collection of traumas, and that she understands it when I feel hurt by her actions. My mom's honestly been a better mom now that I'm all grown up than when I was a child. Maybe give it a try, maybe that's what her parents did when she was young and she doesn't even realise she's doing it to you as well. Maybe she'll understand.

[@bethanyrose8956]

I'm sorry you have had to go through this, this is unacceptable behaviour from a parent x

[@heliagrey]

I'm really glad you're getting to a place of loving yourself.

[@katimoy6221]

@@heliagrey thank you so much 🙏🏻

[@rajikakuruwita2462]

Summary of brown culture: Shamed for being overweight, and shamed for dieting because you made yourself overweight...

[@Lolzadoodle8484]

And then add shamed for doing the "wrong" exercise 🤣 my life in a nutshell

[@nityaorsiricanakapalli4336]

No Brown culture shaming: Hey baby, You need to lose some weight After you lose weight: You look too skinny *shakes head* Like Bruh Don't care about your Brown aunties say because literally they do that, at least for me lmao

[@zkatom3773]

wtf is brown culture

[@nidhirathore4911]

'Lose weight or you won't get married'🙄

[@rajikakuruwita2462]

@@zkatom3773 brown culture is South Asian culture :)

[@laureno6196]

⚠️TW: Eating disorder⚠️ Thank you sooo much for this video. I grew up in a very restrictive environment that had a dichotomous view of food. My mom was a Weight Watchers coach and would constantly talk negatively about food and body image and it was for sure transferred to me. After getting my independence in university and being away from the restrictive environment, I completely tipped the scales to the other end of the spectrum and developed binge eating disorder over the years. When I binge I can hear the voices of people who have fat shamed me over the years like an echo chamber in my head. It’s hard because I’ve promised my loved ones so many times that a diet would be “the one” where I lose all my weight and I fail every time. I don’t trust myself and they don’t trust me either. I need their support and encouragement more than ever but really only my fiancé still believes in me and I’m so grateful for him. Working thru things in therapy and I just got my Peloton so I hope that things turn around for me in 2021

[@littleflor2975]

You don't need their support. You've got this. Deep within you there is strength that you've forgotten. You are in control of your life. You make the decisions for you. There is no failure, only a journey. Mistakes are just learning curves and we get up and carry on. Believe in yourself despite the poor treatment from those who should be supportive x

[@aamu3]

this is the woorst :((( I'm so glad you got your fiancé and that you're finding ways to help yourself out of your misery, it's a long road but you will make it, I'm sure!

[@ahayden6677]

Classiest and most educated clapback on the internet

[@kailamandzie3235]

I can’t with Jeff 😂😂😂 he played his role very well

[@ellenjames-jackson9237]

Your amazing, i suffer from an eating disorder and your videos and Always Hungry Girl videos on cheat days, helped me dramatically and changed my life forever. I wish you would do more cheat days as it helps people like me accept food and not be scared of it. Love ya Steph, i can't wait until you release more videos you truley are an inspiration xxx

[@yessie1]

LOVE this Stephanie! Thanks for all your hard work on this video and sharing the wisdom with us

[@ellielarsen8997]

I started being fat shammed when I was 13 and ever since then I’ve struggled with weight gain, eating disorders, weight loss, and finding confidence. Even at that age, I wasn’t too overweight. I think that if that didn’t happen then I wouldn’t be focused on restricting and would’ve naturally just exercised and ate to satiety. Now I’m healing from those past struggles and am finally finding a good place with myself physically and mentally. This video really hit home.

[@jo5678]

I enjoyed outdoor cardio so much and I would lift 3x a week. I was fit but now with my job, new town, covid, etc. I've gained weight. I know I need to workout but I get so anxious and hate putting on workout clothes, gym mirrors, new gym etc. So glad I saw this video. It really puts things in perspective

[@celsieknaus5723]

When I first started dating my wife she fat shamed someone to me in "secret" I had to explain to her that like you said it usually comes from your own insecurities. That maybe she looked at that woman who is bigger than her and felt better about herself and want me to feel better about her because she's thinner than that woman, to have that validation. She was blown away in that she completely agreed with what I said and never thought of it in that way or deeply to the point where she was crying. Now she's losing weight and being healthy mentally and physically. In that she had never said anything about anyone ever again. Its important to talk about these things with people, it just benefits everyone.

[@propheteyebert7063]

Sounds like you belittled and shamed you wife for expressing her thoughts and for being overweight herself.

[@emilielesage862]

@@propheteyebert7063 no it does not lmao

[@celsieknaus5723]

@@propheteyebert7063 It might seem like that but our relationship is a very open and honest one. She and I both know that whenever we say something to eachother it's never coming from a place to hurt one another. When it is we express that its hurtful, we communicate every well with eachother. I obviously didn't say the whole conversation, but what the summary of it basically was.

[@celsieknaus5723]

@V King She was bullied a lot from her family and friends. So when her family or friends would bully other people she felt like not the target. She then learned that it feels better to be the bully and not the bullied We had a whole conversation about it and how making fun of someone else won't make her any more healthier or better than them. How it actually really hurt her how she's treated. Just into really deep stuff, it's just really sad how it's truely is a cycle that people don't realize.

[@LLWW]

Yeah you definitely shamed your wife for laughing at someone else. Of course she cried and changed because she felt abandoned and shamed by her partner. Honestly you're so toxic. I feel bad for your wife she is probably miserable with you.

[@whatspoppin11326]

It’s so funny, I was fatshamed by my family for being “chubby” even though I was only 10 and hadn’t hit puberty yet In which I would have just lost the weight naturally, and even while being “chubby” I was perfectly healthy with a ‘normal’ BMI, but thanks to this I started dieting and hating myself, ten years later, I’m actually overweight have a terrible relationship with food

[@Sofiacchi]

exactly my life

[@MC-fv9no]

I’m in exactly the same boat

[@alexiswinter6948]

Same here. I was a normal weight when I was a kid but my self-hating mother would harp on the imaginary fat she saw on me. I developed an eating disorder at 7 years old. I've struggled with it ever since.

[@karigrippo6804]

Love this. I think someone's weight gain or loss should NEVER be commented on by anyone tbh. When i had an ED weight loss comments only fueled my habits whereas comments about my weight are what led me down the ED path to begin with. I was 12.. If you're a parent and you're seeing and reading this please tread lightly with the things you say to your kids about their appearance..

[@cristidarling2595]

Growing up I was a normal weight with two underweight siblings so I was referred to as “gordita”, Spanish for chubby. That didn’t bother me because I knew I wasn’t overweight. But, when I hit puberty I gained weight and was actually overweight, my dad tortured me over it. To the point he told me he was lucky I was fat so he would never have to worry about someone wanting to date me. I leaned into food even more and became morbidly obese and it started a lifetime of yo-yo dieting where I would fluctuate between a size 4-18 for the next 20 something years. I am 33 now and am currently on a journey to change my attitude towards food and exercise. I find that if I focus on my energy levels, and the fact that I’ve regulated my period and dropped my blood pressure from diet and exercise it keeps me going even when the number on the scale refuses to budge. Which is normally when I quit because I get so frustrated at my body.

[@mferrariish]

Good luck in your journey! I’m sorry about how your dad treated you and I’m glad you’re working through those issues ❤️

[@kobaltkween]

I'm so sorry your family didn't treat you with more respect, and I'm so impressed that you're finding your way to a healthy body despite your mistreatment. My parents pushed me to lose weight beginning when I was four at oldest (I don't remember younger), and it never helped at all. Health-wise, I'd say I was out of shape and needed to get fitter starting at about 24 or 26, but experience-wise, I was treated as if I was fat my whole life. So now I'm trying to ignore weight and size and focus on building what I can do, and making a practice of eating healthily. I think the problem with weight as a goal is that it assumes you know what your ideal active weight is, or even that its a singular weight and not one that will change with time. Keep up the impressive work, and good luck on your health journey!

[@bekahjw586]

I'm so sorry to hear that. My parents also said the same thing to me when I gained weight as a teenager after years of restriction. They said they felt more comfortable knowing that no one would look at me... those comments have still stuck with me today...

[@pigsthesedays2304]

I'm so happy for you. You've gotten so far ❤ you're so frickin smart, I cant-

[@SamKaczurart]

Those skits of Jeff in the gym... SO GOOD!!! I myself have struggled with obesity and fat shaming and when I was at my heaviest (in a chronically obese family) the part that didnt help was shaming myself or being shamed by family, friends or strangers. What DID help was Cognitive Behavioural Therapy and changing how I spoke/thought/felt about myself and moved towards health and thus losing weight. It put a LOT of strain on my relationship with my family but it allowed them to see that if they wanted to, they could get healthy as well! It took me being committed to dropping 100lbs and slowly, my aunts, uncles, cousins and closer family started losing weight not because I or anyone shamed them but because they saw that I could do it and maintain it and was positive towards them and their goals and journey. THANK YOU STEPHANIE!!! I love your videos!

[@MamaSwole]

wow this video is SO interesting. I love how you did the B Roll when you were discussing the studies to make it more engaging. You really put so much effort and time into your content and it truly shines through and is much appreciated. Everyone should see this video. Thank you so much for making this Stephanie!! ❤

[@alexwittner7654]

I had a great aunt who everytime she would see me would say, “You look good - just a few more pounds to go.” ...even after I lost 100 pounds 😂

[@janehoe.]

What an accomplishment! I'm looking to lose about that much too. I'm simply sick of chafing and refuse to be trapped in pants the rest of my life. I'm sorry your great aunt doesn't understand.

[@BaiMengLing]

answer "I can diet to become thinner, you idiot can not get a brain transplant to become smart"

[@yeetqueen8729]

She needs to go away

[@ajones2367]

people always forget that being overweight isn’t just a physical problem, but a PHYSIOLOGICAL one as well.

[@xro1983]

Stop making excuses

[@faithreed3137]

@@xro1983it’s people like you that make people look up these videos :)

[@mariemurphy9538]

Don't even get us started in people commenting on weight gain while pregnant. 🙄

[@cindylau6874]

Right!? I had a NURSE call me out on my weight during a routine prenatal visit! I was so upset, I ate more!

[@AznMoonlightz]

Yayy! Another Stephanie Buttermore video~ I really enjoy watching your "What Science Says" videos and see you use documents and research studies in them to prove your facts. Always enjoy your content :)

[@leesungyeols]

thank you so much for making these videos, stephanie. they've helped so much with my eating disorder/relationship with food. you have truly done so much more than you can even imagine for my body-image and self-esteem.

[@DancerForLife0901]

I experienced fat shamming to an extreme by my ex boyfriend, when I wasn’t even that big. He would always come up and touch my stomach or arms and tell me I needed to work harder on those body parts in the gym. He would go get my gym bag and tell me he was taking to the gym and wouldn’t come get me for two hours. He always made sure I did an hour of cardio a day, he would also control what we bought at the grocery store and same me into eating smaller portion sizes. He would also tell me that what I wore “wasn’t for my body type”. It definitely didn’t make my gain weight it actually lead to me to almost stop eating I lost over 20 pounds and it eventually turned into a binge eating disorder I still struggle with years later.

[@miskay5526]

im so sorry. he sounds so toxic. a partner should never everr make you feel bad about yourself. im glad you got rid of him!

[@maja__5047]

That's so terrible! I'm sorry you had to experience this, love:/

[@i361x3]

This sounds horrible and I hope you are doing better now. All the love to you! ❤

[@julia.p5081]

I´m very sorry that you had to go through this. Your ex didn´t deserve you. He is a toxic person. I can´t believe the way he acted. I wish you all the best!!!

[@hilary4064]

That is horrible, I’m sorry that happened to you. I’m glad he’s your ex now at least

[@angiemarie7472]

Speaking from personal experience, people (especially family members) will always have some unsolicited advice, or comments on your body no matter your size. The only opinion that matters when it comes to your body is yourself, and it starts with loving and accepting your body. All bodies are beautiful ❤️

[@LuckyPandaX]

Stephanie: Science shows fat shaming doesn't work. Fat shamer and every kid everywhere: No we just did it for fun.

[@marklong2409]

"lmaooo we were just trying to wind you up"

[@welshdragon2927]

She needs to get out of this "science" thing. Science doesn't mean crap. Recall when she tried to justify her binge eating with "science"???

[@Isabelaflowers-fm3sh]

@@welshdragon2927 Please be kind.

[@editname2302]

@@welshdragon2927 let me guess, you are one of those religious uneducated vegan anti mask anti vaccine, earth is flat and climate change doesn’t exist. Science is the law of everything please ask your daddy to pay for ur collage

[@welshdragon2927]

@@editname2302 why taking things out of context??? The issue with science and Stephanie/Jeff is that they nitpick studies in order to prove a blatantly wrong point. Stephanie has lied in the past, so nothing can be taking seriously.

[@AngelTrazo]

Always amazed by how vulnerable you are sharing clips of your body at every stage of your journey throughout this video 😘 you inspire me so much, Stephanie!

[@kirarimizutani77]

I’m from Japan, where people believes every girl must be skinny... I wanna change this stereotype. Thank you, obviously you are my god.

[@dapupperpooper800]

Yes

[@hannahjackson2355]

I'm so happy you came out with this video. I'm still learning to love exercise just for the fun of it, but sometimes I become self-conscious. I go back to believing I have to do 75 minutes of intense cardio and lift for at least 40 minutes 3-4 times a week if I want to see a real change in my "health" when I'm really judging my myself based on how I look. I don't think about how I feel or what I can do from the small, consistent changes in my workout schedule. Sometimes I project these feelings onto others too but I'm working on that. This video, from the research to the tips to better accept and express any opinions/concerns we may have about another person's body, were very helpful and informative. Thank you so much for all you've done Stephanie!

[@Phoenixfyre1097]

Personally, I didn't start working out and eating better until I started caring less about what I looked like. I feel like being more indifferent to what you look like makes it easier to be consistent because you don't have those emotional ups and down. Also I just had an epiphany that a huge reason I gained weight in college was that I didn't want my stomach to growl in class so I would snack before classes if I was even a tiny bit hungry. Yay social anxiety.

[@alphamale7388]

Being fat-shamed after you've been working-out and dieting for months is a special kind of sad; you feel like all your progress is deleted and erases any motivation you had to stick to your diet and workout plan. Another aspect of fat-shaming people don't talk about is the speciation of fast results; you are 3 weeks deep into your diet-plan and your family is on your case for not getting faster results, it can really mess with your head.

[@nahsnod]

You’re so right! I’ve lost a bit of weight over the past couple of years, then one day someone I was living with made a mean comment/“joke”(and he said it twice in over 2 days) about the amount of food I was eating, which made me question all the progress I’ve made. It literally left me in tears and I was so afraid to make meals after, even though there was nothing wrong with my food portions and I’ve been maintaining my weight loss for months. People don’t understand how powerful and off-putting their words can be.

[@mmmgoes]

Ugh yes, I got unsolicited advice from random ppl how to lose weight faster cuz i looked "bulky" for a girl... when they didnt even ask what my fitness goals were. (At the time i was focusing on martial arts training for my weight class in a competition, not really weight loss) it made me rethink if i wanted to continue, since i was looking less "feminine" even if i loved the sport Unfortunately there is still quite a lot of miainformation. Even though a slow and steady approach is best, i have friends and family who still want to follow quick weight loss trends - ruining their bodies in the long run.

[@rhjeanespero5349]

@@mmmgoes I can totally relate on the "bulky for a girl" part. I used to get that from my family - at the time I was so down that I feel like I don't want to work out at all ( I used to lift weights). But then it actually helped me realized a few things and change my workouts, I don't lift anymore and switched to aerobics and jogging. I'm loving it and my new look 😊😊😊

[@555starangel_]

This! It hurts so much.

[@stacyminnie6264]

Truth!

[@valeryana-j9f]

I am absolutely agree with the studies you’ve shared. I was going through weight shaming for 3 years and that wasn’t good. And by being alone without anyone’s thoughts, I got into the good form and continue working on myself. Thank you for the video☺️

[@ashleyreinhart9977]

Fat shaming is such a disgusting thing. I don’t understand how people can do/say that to someone! I’ve been compared to my siblings and friends, and I’ve been called straight up fat, like what? That played such a big role in my eating disorder, and people really need to realize what they say can literally destroy someone’s life lol. This is a really good video, so thank you Stephanie!

[@madhavr9014]

I was bullied for being fat, not just normal bullying i was in a school hostel,some bullies wake me up early and beat me up I dont exercise,take away my food , but I wasnt even that fat,now I quit hostel and living in home. Lost lot of weight and starting to look pretty fit. I dont know why im telling you this lol .

[@ayasaleh7484]

Fat shaming is really bad. Two years ago I gained some weight for the first time in my life not too much I was 173 cm and 68 kg which is not bad, my parents started to tell me fat, you shouldn't eat so much, you shouldn't eat that as you will gain more weight. So I cut my food a little bit and lost the weight I gain and reach 57 kg. But I developed an ed for a year now and I can't eat anything, I am afraid of food and gaining weight. Iam know 49 kg and I lost my period for more than a year. I really want to eat normal again and I increase my calorie intake but iam scared, I have binge and purge ed too. They now force me to eat but I don't eat 😑. It's not about weight only, it's about my mental health, I can't study for my exams, all the day in bed, didn't have energy to do anything, I want to work out but I can't. Please don't fat shaming anyone it hurts so bad.

[@beccamdphd6432]

please reach out for professional help if you have not already. Family cannot force feed someone with an ED into health, and people don't grow out of it. It's so scary to take steps toward recovery, but regaining yourself back will be worth it

[@ayasaleh7484]

Yes, i really want to recover but i want to do it alone . my family didn't know that i hide food and don't eat . if they know about it. they will force me to eat so i will try to eat more slowly but iam afraid of weight gain.

[@ayasaleh7484]

And thank you so much for your advice 😊❤

[@sherlockedxl.f.6618]

I recovered from an eating disorder anorexia turned orthorexia. I'm here to tell you it's possible. Once you start eating freely it might feel like you are binging but it is just your body compensating for the calories you did not eat earlier. I watched ED recovery videos by youtubers (jen brett, alice olivia). You have to decide you want to escape this cycle. For me, that was the pivoting point. I wanted to get my menstrual cycle back (it preserves your bone density). I was 17, soon to go to College. I wanted to be free of it so I could live and dedicate my energy to things I wanted to achieve. You have to decide you want to live life more than you want to be thin. Trust me when I say you will feel more confident once you have all the joy in the world and can live without the ED dictating your every action. Your weight will balance out, you will have more energy. I was at the same place with no energy, missing out on all the joys and accomplishments I could have if I recovered. I did not seek therapy cuz I did not have those resources available. If you do, please reach out and seek help. You just have to start your journey to recovery. It will take time (years to be completely be free) but you will feel better soon. It isn't easy but being free at the end is worth it.

[@mariahauser9426]

Honey I know how you feel, a few months ago I was at the same point, freezing cold in summer, drained of energy and without motivation to do ANYTHING. I felt like all I had was this, this number, this body that I thought to be ideal but still wasn't happy with. Because let's be honest even if we loose those extra 5 pounds, even if we work out for a bizillion years, our mind is still bullying our body. You need to stop, you need to remember your priorities. What do you like? Who are you? What do you wanna achieve? Why do you wanna live? Because you want to live! You need to realize that your body is your best friend, you have abused it for quite some time but it's still there, still working, still allowing you to breathe! You maybe want to be loved by everyone, but does everyone also include yourself? You are who matters, start by apologizing to your body and it will forgive you, you will struggle but it will be worth it. Don't worry about weight gain, think about the happiness gain. I know this might not mean much from some stranger from the internet but I get you and I got you, but you have to do it yourself and when you're better you will look back and see how you developed into something so much more than a "beautiful" Body- A beautiful mind with a beautiful smile (◡ ω ◡)

[@sarahramos6926]

the amount of research in this video is honestly so impressive! I feel like a lot of people don't realize how long it took for you to research all of that so on behalf of everyone, kudos to you!

[@trainingwithbella7372]

YES 👏🏻 QUEEN 👏🏻 So ready for this!

[@kaseyblack6763]

You NEVER looked "fat" I can't believe people said you were obese. You were curvaceous at most. ❤️

[@Ami_Ama]

Agree!🙋🏼‍♀️

[@darnellmanoto4152]

Obese is a medical term by the way. But I agree with you. This woman was “medically” obese, just not fat.

[@bengrady9752]

Facts Darnell, still looked good at that weight tho

[@jannclaudebinoya]

@@bengrady9752 so looking good > potential heart disease / diabetic? Gotcha

[@MDHNguyen]

​@@darnellmanoto4152 She wasn't even medically obese. Her starting weight was 118lbs~, she gained a maximum of 42lbs. She was 5' 4" at 160lbs at her highest, meaning her BMI would be overweight. She would have had to be 174lbs + to be obese. Not to mention BMI is scientifically critiqued for not considering muscle mass since she was also lifting during the weight gain.

[@Dior-ei7cz]

HAPPINESS IS WHEN STEPHANIE UPLOAD NEW VIDEO ❤️🥰 ILY❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[@m_davies86]

Who else is guilty of liking before watching🙋🙈😂

[@StephanieButtermore]

😭😭😭😭😭

[@m_davies86]

@@StephanieButtermore love you steph!!!

[@eleanorgibbins1075]

Love your videos... thanks so much for this one too.... I was diagnosed with an eating disorder about 18 months ago, I followed you and you have no idea how much you helped me! I was a normal weight but through therapy and listening to you I realised I was binge eating because I was below my set point. I was fighting with myself to stay slim. lots of people giving me compliments on lots of weight loss kept me going with the eating disorder. I learnt so much about myself through therapy it was amazing and I’m happy that I have completely recovered, however I have gained a huge amount of weight (about 10kg overweight) through also going all in and do feel self conscious about it but trying to be kind to myself

[@atsiong100]

Fat discrimination is so ingrained in our society, affecting everything from the quality of care received from healthcare providers, to reasonable seating accommodations, to the way weight stigma intersects with race and class stigma. Thank you Stephanie for bringing a no-nonsense, science-based approach to such a misunderstood issue! I really appreciate how well-researched your videos are.