Steven Seagal Feeds an Alligator (2009) - Episode 10 - Redeye Reviews

Todays episode is called a Perish Under Siege. Clever title for a not so clever show
Starring: Steven Seagal, a bunch of real people, some criminals
Writers: Real Life, The Streets
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[@mat0920]

If you haven't seen this show, I hope everyone realizes the "spidey sense" thing isn't an edit by Redeye. The show actually did that like Seagal could see and sense things everybody else couldn't.

[@megatronjenkins2473]

This show is funnier than any sitcom! And it's his "Sifu Sense"🤣🤣🤣

[@GameTimeWhy]

Yeah I forgot how terrible this show was. Definitely a product of its time.

[@bruisersfoodequipment1848]

You're kidding! I have been wpndering..

[@bobbillbury7377]

I don't know what surprises me more, that someone made Steven Seagal a cop or the fact this show made it to double digit episodes

[@Knapperoni]

He isn't a cop, he's the Make a Wish child they let ride around because they feel bad

[@bobbillbury7377]

@@Knapperoni Thats certainly a much more accurate way to describe it lmao

[@andrewweber9930]

3 seasons man

[@johansvensson833]

29 episodes but some debate if all of the aired

[@Alex-me3yn]

@@Knapperoni that is the surprising part, since hes not a child he is a 70 year old fat man

[@kitbradley2689]

"As a Buddhist, I don't believe in killing things unless I really have to." That's what the Buddha said. Yep. "Don't kill anything unless you've really got to, y'know?" It is to weep.

[@Schmidt54]

He is not wrong tho. Being a Buddhist doesn't mean that you are a 100% pacifist. Buddhism has no absolutes to begin with. It is up to the individual's judgement, intention, and situation.

[@kitbradley2689]

@@Schmidt54 One of the things I have long appreciated about Buddhism is its clarity of purpose and the reasons behind everything. It is one of the basic tenets of the Eightfold Path that you don't kill anything. Under no conditions and without exception or caveat. Now, I don't want to get into "no true Scotsman" territory and there are obviously many Buddhists who ignore the clear and straightforward instructions of the Eightfold Path, but it would be prevarication to say that the Eightfold Path permits killing in any shape or form. To say otherwise is to engage in prevarication and the nihilism of "word don't mean anything." The Eightfold Path is expressed with exceptional clarity, but you wouldn't know it from how Seagal acts. So, when he said that he doesn't kill anything unless he really has to, his lack of understanding of the Eightfold Path made me wince.

[@Schmidt54]

@@kitbradley2689 Well, as I said, Buddhism does not deal with absolutes. All "rules" that Buddhism has is based off the understanding of the practitioner. Or do you think you never killed, or that you will be able to never kill anything? One car drive through a summer night means the end of a lot of little animals. You can work on minimizing suffering (killing included), but you will never be able to live and never kill at the same time. Even as a vegan, a lot of worms and insects die for growing vegetables, too. Question is: How to deal with that fact? How to minimize any suffering, how to better oneself in order to help others? By thinking that "many Buddhists" "ignore" the concepts of the eightfold path honestly shows that you suffer from ignorance yourself. There is a reason why there are many and different Buddhist teachings and schools of thought. While you adhere to one of them (if you do not self-brew something, which all schools warn against because wrong meditation can fuck you psychologically), and very clear and straight rules are your thing and help you to benefit all beings, that is perfect. But you must acknowledge that other people have other karmas and preferences and can work better with a different pattern. By dividing people into "true Buddhists" (who adhere to what you think is right) and the de-facto non-believers (the Buddhists who do it differently), you do what other religions do and sow a lot of bad karma, in the end for yourself. Buddha did not give us 10 commandments or anything absolute, he gave us complex teachings and methods that give a multitude of different people the opportunity to work towards enlightenment. And Buddhism has an oral tradition, especially when it comes to Mahayana and Vajrayana teachings that need direct experience and teachings because of complex methods. So only pointing towards texts is Abrahmitic bias (sola scriptura logic) at best.

[@kitbradley2689]

@@Schmidt54 So, you're saying that it absolutely does not deal with absolutes? Yes, yes, as I said, if you say that words have no meaning, anyone can be a Buddhist. But we're talking the tyrant-loving Steven Seagal. He isn't some well-intentioned Buddhist who sadly acknowledges that you can't harvest potatoes without killing earthworms. He's a violent thug and sexual predator that supports murders - literally Putin - while mouthing platitudes in an intensely racist, orientalist way. If that is compatible with Buddhism... well, okay. If you say so! Also, somewhere along the way, you stopped talking to me, I think? Like, you'll get no defense of Abrahamic faiths from me. While I would rather break a stained-glass window than limit a person's spirituality (even if I criticize it, which is my right, after all,) I didn't mention any of that stuff. ;)

[@Patrick-ud3vu]

Who are we as mere mortals to question the Buddhist ways of Sensei Seagal? After all, The Buddha himself anointed Steven as a Deity.

[@spiritualanarchist8162]

Seagal : 'Can he talk ? ' Actual professionals : 'No. ...go away ! ' 😅

[@ared4108]

I felt so bad for the poor guy. I'm going to hell for laughing at that part 😂

[@spiritualanarchist8162]

@@ared4108 Same here mate ;)

[@MuttonfudgeRacing]

Whoever made Steven Seagal a cop should be fired and put in a political prison somewhere.

[@c-secofficer123]

Haha yea im almost 100% sure this show got cancelled because he was charge with sex trafficking / assault with his wife at the time

[@bigbearkat2010]

I think they had an episode where they went to that guy's funeral

[@Shastavalleyoutdoorsman]

He moved here thinking he would become sheriff of our county. Little did he know this county is ran by organized crime. He left within 2 years.

[@ESC70737]

Sheriff Harry Lee has been dead for at least 8 years to 9 years maybe a little bit longer but he was the guy who gave Steven seagal his badge the trade-off was if Steven taught the police force in Jefferson parish karate then he will make him a honorary deputy but made him an official deputy only in Louisiana and I know. I remember being in jail and dudes would come in and say Seagal arrested them. Steve was originally one of the "Jump Out Boys" (drug swat team), we would laugh only to find out this was true. 🤦🏾‍♂️

[@Patrick-ud3vu]

How dare you?! Since Seagal arrived to the town of Jefferson Parish, crimes have been down a whopping 400%! And Taco Bell sales up a staggering 1600%!

[@henryrmarliniii8360]

Everytime you nitpick, steven seagal has another bad movie idea. To him, it's amazing. To us, it's a new drinking game.

[@librarianontheloose]

Imagine you're in a bad car wreck and the first person who comes into your view is Steven Seagal.

[@Patrick-ud3vu]

Must have a severe concussion. Who the hell is going to believe you?!

[@jamescon55]

LOL 😆🤣

[@jjohnsengraciesmom]

I want to see him write a police report.

[@angieglover159]

😂😢😂😢

[@MichaelMartin-qe5ye]

This would not be the last time that meat on a stick would be used to motivate Steven Seagal.

[@streetdog_named_saul]

You have no idea how happy it makes me to walk into the living room and find a new 'Lawman' review on my KZbin home screen. Thank you - keep up the good work! 😁

[@whoelsebutmeofcoursei]

True

[@StevePhoenix]

I'm amazed Seagal didn't use a stuntman for the gator feeding scene.

[@docwho2828]

They didn't find anyone his ... stature.

[@Patrick-ud3vu]

@@docwho2828 you spelled handsomeness wrong.

[@user-tf9di9po9z]

Сама в шоке😁🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@mattymaple1976]

As a buddhist, Steven doesnt like killing anything if he does to... But he is not above slaying some a** down on Bourbon!

[@armitagehawkshaw]

OMG I was crying at "Lift the Stick"

[@rassicr]

After so many title puns I would consider that line of jokes marked for death.

[@hectoraccented5312]

My brother bought one of those river nutrias as a pet, after a month of tolerating the thing roaming inside the house, now is living in the outside patio. If this individual is representative of the species they are fun to look at for a time but they don't make nice pets (doesn't like to be petted, poops everywhere, asking for food bitting your feet, etc)

[@wimvanderstraeten6521]

If Seagal is a buddhist, then I'm the Dalai Lama.

[@Moth_of_Yuggoth]

"I haven't had an erection since I did under siege" That line was a classic.

[@user-tf9di9po9z]

😉🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@byRobertEklund]

Best line and laugh in a long time! 😂😂😂

[@treywaz]

Did you that Steven Seagull is actually the biggest Seagull ever discovered on planet earth? Normal Seagulls are 0-5lb but this Seagal weighs at least 350lb. I will write to whoever decides to name new birds and will ask them to name the next breed of Seagull they find the Steven Seagull. I promise this.

[@Chipotleadvisory]

Did you see how Whimpers questioned Steve’s actions? He’s lucky Steve didn’t kick him in his throat or shin and claim it was his throat!

[@whoelsebutmeofcoursei]

Luckily he didn't got thrown around against furniture

[@user-is7xs1mr9y]

Your Seagal voice never gets old, it always cracks me up!

[@user-tf9di9po9z]

Блюз MANN

[@DEADxBABIESxINC]

"You kinda look like Steven Seagal" Probably because he's about the size of 2 Above the Law Seagals 😅

[@SnowmanTF2]

It seems absurd this series was drawing 2-3 million viewers in it's original run. It was apparently A&E's most watched show for a period of time, which probably is an indictment on the programing they had at the time.

[@johansvensson833]

billy the exterminator and also a lot of "reality" cop shows like this one inkl the rookies and dallas swat I assume they were also mostly fake

[@whoelsebutmeofcoursei]

I can see these shows having millions of viewers, I for one watched all this shit every day back in high school

[@jamescon55]

Comedy is a good thing... THAT'S WHY people were watching it.... Lol

[@carlsberg-gs6rl]

The show's editing where they try to make Seagal seem like he's thinking hard made me to a spit take.

[@Patrick-ud3vu]

He was contemplating Wendys or Burger King.

[@user-tf9di9po9z]

Eys,ФЕЙКовый полицейский🙃🤩

[@davidfausel9029]

"Lift the stick"..... That is the BEST lol. Good god NOTHING happens in this show - little did they know it was created just for critical review on this channel :-).

[@Liquidcadmus]

Pararse is to stand up. A more correct translation is the stick raiser

[@rosalynredwood4542]

I can not believe this show has so many episodes 😬😬 thank you RedEye😌👌

[@Patrick-ud3vu]

Seagal needs to take LAWMAN World Wide!

[@micahboswell4000]

I was super excited about the redo of China Salesman! I lived in New Orleans for a while and saw Nutria semi-regularly. Like most rodents, they pretty much run away from people as soon as they see them. Haven’t eaten one though.

[@RedEyeReviews]

Hahaha sorry to disappoint. I figured they acted just like any other rodent

[@TheCrector]

@@RedEyeReviews That one was completely out of left field. One of my favourites. I actually cried laughing when, after everything thus far, Seagal comes with "can you guys speak English?" Amazing. Edit: the review. The review is amazing. ..not sure I could handle watching the movie.

[@RedEyeReviews]

@@TheCrector lol the speak English line wrecks me too lol. Its too good

[@jaydemo367]

It was inevitable they would try and incorporate his movie titles in somehow... Episode 15: Marked for Niko Justice

[@nightshade7240]

"'I'd hate to have to fight a ten foot gator" Steven, you could literally just sit on it and hold its mouth closed with your hands. That's how they catch alligators and crocodiles, they put a guide rope around the jaws and then often duct tape them shut because the bite power is in the downward force, they have very little strength when opening their mouth. Also how slow a night do these guys have that the bloody SWAT team is out shooting "varmints"? Steven only doesn't believe in killing things when he has actual professionals around who will show him up. What does it say about their firearms proficiency when an untrained teenager can bullseye womprats in his speeder but these guys who are supposed to train to hit targets can't hit a rodent?

[@bigbearkat2010]

Kind of makes me think about that part in Cliffhanger when that one idiot unloaded his clip on that rabbit and still missed

[@backforblood3421]

I'd rather fight the footlong one I had as a teenager ten times, personally.

[@Patrick-ud3vu]

I’d hate to have to fight Steven for the last donut.

[@nightshade7240]

@@Patrick-ud3vu He's like Kung Fu panda when it comes to food.

[@Patrick-ud3vu]

@@nightshade7240 Why you gotta insult Kung Fu Panda for? 🤪

[@benjaminolson7206]

I seem to recall seeing a news report in the late 90s or so about how people were trying to promote nutria eating in Louisiana to try to encourage hunting of the invasive species. I think they had a fancy looking chef trying to promote nutria as high cuisine.

[@PCs_rule]

I do remember the push in the late 90s to encourage hunting nutria. I grew up in Kenner (outskirts of New Orleans) and read a few articles in the Times-Picayune about the efforts to cull the nutria population, including SWAT teams hunting them along some canals. The Audubon Louisiana Nature Center had a nutria culinary event in the late 90s, I think. I vaguely recall going there as a teen and tasting some nutria tamales, maybe nutria sausage. The food was heavily spiced so I won't swear to how nutria itself tastes, but it was good food.

[@xbigwormx]

You're Steven Seagal voice cracks me up everytime. Love it.👍👍

[@Davelever366]

This is becoming my favourite KZbin channel

[@Mikefantasia22]

Same

[@V01t2]

That's always sagely advise, "Always ask someone who can stand"

[@CottonEyedBro]

Seagal does have a song called "Alligator Ass" on his Mojo Priest album.

[@Humongous420]

That song is AWESOME haha Redeye turned me onto that banger and I am forever grateful

[@docwho2828]

A tribute to this talented Alligator? Well,the Alligator is a better actor than Steven.

[@edmundblackaddercoc8522]

@@docwho2828 and better on guitar.

[@joewiedmeier1080]

The walkie talkie and the affair 😂

[@MegaNafo]

Lady from the bar shows up ....." Something is kept ditracting me........" 🤣🤣😂

[@ItsJakeTheBrake]

Great episode as always. And yes I've seen Nutrias. We do have quite a few of them over here in Europe. Adorable little critters.

[@whoelsebutmeofcoursei]

Are they delicious?

[@ItsJakeTheBrake]

@@whoelsebutmeofcoursei Never tried them, but I would imagine they are.

[@whoelsebutmeofcoursei]

@@ItsJakeTheBrake must taste like rabbit

[@superchug2469]

Whenever Steven Segal makes a movie we all feel a disturbance in the force.

[@dizzy1369]

Seagal is so full of himself he would have tried to teach Steve Irwin about handling crocodiles if they were ever on a set together 😂🤣🤣🤣

[@ItsNotaTuhmah]

Seagal's descent is deeper than Dante's inferno. Unbelievable.

A Seagull marathon... that would put you in a coma.

[@spartanairsoft1798]

The whole beginning with the movie titles is beyond amazing

[@ashishavin8748]

Those puns make you A Good Man.

[@TS-yf2zf]

"But the nights still young" said with the jowels 🤣🤣🤣

[@acerimmer1023]

Do you think Seagal uses his 'spider-sense' to know about you Redeye....or just subsribes to your channel like everyone else? Another great video Redeye... always tickle me, no matter what kind of day I've had 👍👍👍👍

[@henryrmarliniii8360]

Oh he uses his "spider-sense" alright. He likes it tingling.....god. What did I do, ewwww tingling. One word and I can no longer use

[@Knapperoni]

He's been subscribed to RedEye for 58 years

[@acerimmer1023]

@@henryrmarliniii8360 lol it certainly conjures up disturbing imagery 😳🤣

[@acerimmer1023]

@@Knapperoni 😂😂😂🤣👍

[@RedEyeReviews]

Lol he probably feels a disturbance in the force everytime my videos come out

[@bryanchalker]

"But-ssch the nigh-ssch still youn-gssch" - love the Seagalspeak 🤣

[@DaveVoyles]

I eagerly await these videos each week. The opening with all of the movie titles was hilarious

[@DocM.]

Seagal is such a clown 🤣 You're hilarious dude, love your videos!

[@someperson1495]

I'm working out rn as I watch this and you saying "you hear that? someone's breathing real heavily close by.." and I was like "aw fuck off" lol

[@MOONSUN4Life]

6:23 "Ah, yes, his time on the continent of Asia... Why is it that you're _in_ the country, but _on_ the continent?" Prepositions, man, they make no sense at all. 12:30 "We do this in Asia, Larry. We make this in Asia." I love how he speaks as though he were from Asia. This guy, I swear.

[@Opry99er]

The intro puns solidified it for me... this is the greatest channel on KZbin.

[@no1uknugamingchannel]

The team was unable to kill any nutria but Lieutenant "why are your finger tips all burnt up!?" was able to plant weed seeds on three and get them with minor possession charges😂😅 they were subsequently released due to whimper's tampering with the evidence 😭🤣

[@mattpatt199]

"I don't like that truck" 🤣🤣🤣

[@YakAttack915]

That circle of life bit was hilarious and sadly true. Lol

[@robertremick691]

By far one of the best openers....lol keep up the awesomework

[@DieselMcBadass1]

"I'm the star of a Steven segal film." You are, who'd you play? "Steven segal, I'm his stuntman, did most of the scenes."

[@stevew4691]

I feel ya man, was distracted there for a spilt second as well 🤣

[@TheCrazyHedgehogLady]

Love it! As always. Just as awesome on a re-watch as the first time through. Also if I wasn’t already on your Patreon, that series of Seagal movie title puns would’ve made me join all on its own. 😊 Fighting the good fight against the big C (That’s cancer, Seagal - not chicken!) so been in bed or hospital a lot with my favorite KZbin channels helping me keep smiling/laughing so thank you again, very much. (My three hedgehogs agree that you’re awesome and hedgies are notoriously difficult to impress, so you can put that on your resumé. 😁👍🏻🦔🦔🦔)

[@timothydavies5337]

amazing it is lirully beyond belive how this person acualy exists dude ur reviws rock bro looking forward to the redo onlly been found ur channel like a week ago i think just done all thse in a row 1-10 amazing thoue i do feel a little ill after doing them in a row feel like segals in my mind with just eeeer its like beeing poisened over a long period of time without knowing what it is you just know something is wrong :) eeeeer soooo ye me dude brillient work carry on slamming them out and may segal keep up his good work on making sure that where all safe

[@TheRealJanetteJones]

I like how your Steven Seagal impersonation sounds a lot like King Kai 🤣

[@austenbaker8285]

You made my rough day at work worth it when I saw this uploaded. Thank you!!

[@user-is7xs1mr9y]

I hope you're doing better!

[@austenbaker8285]

@@user-is7xs1mr9y much better, it's nice to kick back and watch some Steven making an ass of himself lol

[@ando8262]

that baseball card line!

[@joelegue182]

Lots of muskrat are consumed in the area where I live. It is mostly a French Canadian thing. They are too gamey for my tastes, but I always enjoy when I get to eat beaver.

[@sadpacman3290]

I liked this video specifically for the Seagal title's joke. Well done, sir.

[@TheOrbitalmadness]

This has grown to be one of my favorite things to look forward to !!!! Do you have any room to review: South Beach Tow? I think that would be a absolutely great addition, to the Red Eye reviews!

[@josephfragosa7023]

Your Steven Segal impression is gnarly!

[@Haplo699g]

Gotta tell you, I only watch these for your Steven voice. Makes me laugh everytime.

[@pgm422]

There are Nutria living in the Town I live in (eastern Germany...greetings by the way ^^), they are cute, but also there is a Bounty on them. If you deliver a dead Nutria to the Town Hall, you get 2-3 Euro as payment...😅😬

[@larshansson1953]

my favorite part is SWAT moonlighting as animal control.

[@thevolpster7977]

LOL Sean you should be a South Park voice actor. Your voice impersonation of Seagal sounds like one of those characters. LOL, nice review.

[@dehydratedwater9806]

Im from south Louisiana about 50 miles southeast of NOLA and nobody I know would ever consider eating a nutria. There are people people pushing the idea because they are overpopulating and digging up the levees instead of eating the water hyacinth which is what they were brought here to do. There's a bounty on the $1 per tail

[@brandonbrown8370]

Duuude, the movie title insertion into the intro was flawless haha.

[@ksjazzguitaryt]

In my time in NOLA, I saw so many drunk drivers, it was ridiculous. They literally had drive through daqueri shops, I'm not kidding. Drunkenness was just part of the culture down there.

[@puertoricanboy100]

The intro was a meltdown 🤣🤣🤣

[@itsalwayssunnyinpahoa7631]

LmfAoo🤣, classic! This channel is hilarious and we’re all super grateful for your work, @Red Eye. Anyways, alohas everyone and have a blessed day.

[@Humongous420]

Daaamn i better get a fresh coffee! Goooooood morning to Redeye and the review crew

[@oscarnjboy]

Yes! A redo! Fuck yeah! So excited!

[@YourLordshipBalthazar]

I'd consider it a privilege if red eye joined in with a speaker phone call with me!

[@courtsidewithjerome88]

Got notification at work Redeye was doing a review…. I’m in the bathroom taking a “dump”

[@j.tgrooms]

The gift that keeps on giving

[@Mikefantasia22]

My new favorite channel

[@robvegas9354]

Aussie slang for a seagull is 'Sh!t Duck' and as such we used to refer to old mate here as that. i can not believe that this Lawman show existed!

[@studbourbon798]

4:03 looked like the white dust from putting out a fire. So Seagal is King !!!!

[@insanitypepper1740]

I was fully expecting Steven to slap the cops who said they missed all their nutrina shots.

[@davesaints8023]

Can’t wait for the redo! I never eaten a nutria nor do I want too 😆

[@Johny40Se7en]

0:50 ah, don't worry if the joke's Half Past Dead, Seagal broke his Code Of Honour AGES ago, so there'll likely be clean Exit Wounds afterwards 😅😜 That was great bud 😆 And 4:21 so that's what the inside of Steven Seagal's head sounds like hey? And that Under Siege erection joke was pure gold 👍😂

[@RedEyeReviews]

Lol great addition. Oh he has so many movies I think you could write a book using just the titles

[@megatronjenkins2473]

RedEye Redo!!! Sweet!!! My mighty Decepticon Army is standing by!!!

[@mannyichi]

So weird, I went to bed watching a Seagal cop RedEye ep and woke up to a new episode lol

[@jackiesburgersandfries4604]

I've been binging your videos you and space ice are the best

[@RedEyeReviews]

Thank you so much! I'm glad you are getting a kick out of them.

"You smell like a brewery"

[@frankcolumbo4481]

Seagal is a real Columbo when it comes to detective work, all that's missing is a cigar and raincoat.

[@Patrick-ud3vu]

CSI SEAGAL!

[@loganjames9386]

Remember that poor guy that got shotgun blasted in the back and Captain Oblivious tried to get his statement while medics were tending to him? 🤦😁

[@ndiaz7829]

Somebodys breathing really hard! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😪 man I like how you mess with him.

[@edmundblackaddercoc8522]

When sticky meat man turned up I thought seagal was gonna clamp his noshers round it.

[@charlie.ridgway86]

That spot they went to to shoot those things looks exactly like where Dave Attell went to do the same exact thing on his show Insomniac.

[@lonewolf4924]

Yes, yes and delicious. Looking forward to the re-do :)

[@MrDowntemp0]

On this show, some folks in the parish get Nutria, others get New bushia.

[@DavidVanHelden1]

It looked like Steven's nose got hard when he sniffed that bottle.....

[@katherinevalenzuela2696]

He's been doing this for 50yrs... What is "this"... It's everything..

[@TheCrazyHedgehogLady]

P.S. The Nutria are adorable! I’m very grateful those guys have all the aiming prowess of Vader’s best Stormtroopers! 😆

[@andrewweber9930]

Your going to go nuts reviewing all seasons 😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@smithientist2]

hey redeye can you do a supercut of just you imitating Seagal its so good.