Stop Playing the Victim |

[@susangreen3871]

I’m so happy I found you! So it shouldn’t come as a surprise to me, as I feel everything you say, resonates the truth! Thank you

[@jeffkidder5282]

Not taking responsibility can happen when a parent/adult demands recognition and acknowledging the decision according to their choice rather than showing trust that their child can make a good decision. Confidence needs to be learned not given.

[@VedavyasRS]

Thanks ❤

[@thenorthremembers5978]

I used to be like that in general for everything. Somewhere along the way I realized that i was externalizing everything and not taking responsibility and accountability for anything I did. Im glad i put some effort and break the cycle. It is a toxic situation that you created for yourself and you dont wanna come out

[@tamzeltoes]

The Karpman drama triangle! Victim-villain-saviour. What the all have in common is not taking their own responsibility! This tool helped me so much to understand dynamics within me but also the dynamics of people around me.

[@shraddhaupadhyaya6216]

Had the same situation at workplace. I was blamed for not doing anything and ended up blaming others but in fact , being a new joinee, I could not take responsibility because every thing was first time for me and nobody to go and ask for guidance , even if I tried asking I was made to feel like I don't even know a simple thing.

[@shubha987]

I believe this - never waste a crisis. You will realise the power of resilience and channelise your inner self. Work towards solving problems. All the best 👍

[@sandessarma1469]

Choose hope ❤

[@NitiVaidya]

Same happen to me when I started career, learn process slowly by observing make a habit of it, as well do self learning as much as possible , make internet your tool and grow don't expect from people , as very less people undersrand and help 8r guide

[@fauvecorrigan1233]

A way to think about a situating like this is to think about what you bring to the team. How can you be an asset. If you're taking a while to pick up the job, it's okay. Just make yourself useful, be on time, and maintain your composure. You got this.

[@sunsh9n0]

As a man this is very relatable.

[@jarrettscherrer2189]

On the contrary, a person who knows they are never powerless, is a person who is always in control; and a person who is always in control, is a person who knows they are always responsible. Indeed, stop playing the victim.

[@amrthabet4455]

I wonder if you have a video on how to help someone with this issue. My sister was all her life a victimizer. Now she blames her parents for her depression, anxiety, life failures and believe there's no solutions from her side and she is powerless to change her life and get out of depression. Also regardless of how my parents tried to help, it seems not enough and she always find a way to blame them again. It's sad and I can't tell her she can change her life because she thinks I don't feel or "support" her because I'm not saying she is powerless and how pity that is 😢

[@callishapayton2102]

Please let her see this KZbin video. Tell her to be honest with herself and replay it until she can discuss it honestly with herself 1st. She is me and that is what I realized after I listened to it many times. I have to take responsibility for my actions and help myself not others as much as I always did

[@blaklena]

Often people have to fall very deep or manifest them become a real victim... Until they just can't anymore! I speak out of experience... She needs to become fed up of her own victim attitude! One thing helping is to leave them alone to face their own situation with no escape... It often happens to people that have been in a victim situation (as children for example) and not having been let to get out of difficult situations by themselves... They need to learn that to be fave to face with themselves and to be alone to find a solution!

[@dhamon-pi6os]

Also requires people to communicate honestly with you so you can evaluate and take responsibility for things you may have done. If they won’t communicate that with you not only is there no real intimacy then you are going to be the victim as they also won’t ever take accountability for the things they do plus will allow the things that hurt them to fester which will then lead them to abusing you. This then makes you an actual victim of mental and emotional abuse.

[@menilev]

I have been watching your KZbin channel for a while and it's pure gold 🥇 Thank you 🙏

[@user-xu2ee7ct2v]

I can relate to what you are trying to say. I feel that behind that attitude of not taking responsibility and blaming others.. Oh! The road is bad because the government pay no attention, oh! The crime is there newspapers are filled with it, police is not doing work properly.. Oh! The covid is there, god is annoyed with us. Victimized mindset prevent people from taking charge, do research, find solution and lead a better life.

[@Jimmy_Reality_Home_Tour-Not-]

True.Thanks for sharing .❤❤

[@user-cr4vi6to3d]

you have the best speaking voice? I love your videos. Thank you for sharing.

[@adamtobin8132]

Great info. Thank you

[@michaelyeary828]

I play the victim I’ve hurt others but at what point do I say enough is enough for paying for those actions even when told your forgiven but yet I’m still hurt for it do I actually trust the forgiver or will they just lie to me to then turn around and stab me again when does this endless cycle stop. Look I will take responsibility for the pain I’ve caused but if I do they should too despite what number they are and how holy they may seem again yes I play the victim but what do you when it hurts when the pain you feel is to much to bare and how far should the responsibility be taken. When does it end?

[@teamjacoballthewayXx]

fucj man i relate to this so heavy it sucks baz

[@denisef1153]

I’m dealing with something similar. I’ve apologized. I said “I take full responsibility “ yet they won’t even acknowledge me. That was over missing a birthday party because I had to work. I don’t understand any of this. People are cruel and play mind games then try to make you the ass. They turn it around. That’s when I just walk away. It’s like they thrive on making me feel bad. I can’t explain it. It’s so weird.

[@FlowerChyld43]

An example would be very helpful

[@warblerbg]

Context: My mom plays the victim often. She asks me to do things for her ask the time, that are trivial. When clearly they are just her extreme personal preferences for where she "needs (wants) things to be. I am blamed for her unhappiness for everything "needing" to be a specific way. Example: she wants the bath towels in an specific position, or kitchen dishes in an exact way, or a chore to be done only in a specific manner at a specific time, or in not allowed to cook something or make a certain sound, or use an item unless she watches the entire time telling me exactly how it must or not must be used. 😅 She also will ask me to fix things for her or do things for her, e g. tablet, t.v. , internet, or computer. If I don't adhere to these hundreds of tiny requests that she expects me to remember and follow, she then blames me and punishes me. I'm an adult, I'm 45. I'm not a child. 😂 So she plays the victim to not taking responsibility for making an these tiny little changes for herself, or finding the answers to try to fix things for herself-- and bothers me in every moment to get me to do it for her (Extreme unhealthy codependency). If I try to give her advice, e g. Hey mom, how about you can ask the geek squad to help fix your tablet, or maybe look on KZbin for a tutorial and try to fix it. She then blames me and hurts me. I'll try to empower her to do things for herself, but then she plays the victim telling me that I'm the one responsible 😅 I see this behavior between men and women couples too. Playing the victim to get the guy to pay for something or do something or fix something for the female. And use her emotions or with hold sex if they don't do what she says. There's a fine line here. Where, yes partners do things for each other- but There's a difference between co-support (interdependence) and codependency (one partner relies on the other much more so in average, regardless of sex). In the reverse, a man getting a woman to do all the work, etc while he doesn't contribute much and then plays victim by making excuses and blames you for not being supportive..... Students might play the victim to a teacher by asking for a better grade, or more time in an assignment for untruthful "victim" reasons..... Lots of this behavior at work between co-workers too. Where one will blame the other for not being able to get their part of the work done (victim) because of the other person. Hope these examples help? ❤

[@jbeezy8245]

I can see how I'm like your mom

[@adrianashdown5354]

Can a person still be a victimizer they don’t seem to feel powerless? If someone struggles with taking responsibility but actively speaks up and “fights back” against others, are they still considered a victimizer or would it be something else? How do you give victimizers feedback or help them take responsibility? Or what boundaries do you set? I’m finding myself in the same position over and over again the last several year with a family member. We have bad interaction, i try to take ownership of my part, and they don’t do the same. This has lead to me being kicked out of his life again and again. It makes me sad cuz he’s my brother but it’s so hard to bite my tongue when i feel like he’s being an asshole. So I’m find myself in the same position again. I know I’m playing my part by not reinforcing positive behavior and instead calling out the bullshit- I’ve tried to apologize but this may be the final straw for him. Either way, wanting some guidance on how to deal and support victimizers. Do i just let them do them even though i feel like a bad sister for not telling them how they are behaving, even if it has to do with tearing down others?

[@josephhale9198]

Big pain in the asses the victims are🎉

[@sarahdiv2731]

The victim likes the attention they get Victims control people through their helping them

[@johnloague7348]

That's what's wrong. The world has to many people playing the victim game.

[@jeffkidder5282]

Recognizing the problem is the first step to solving the problem.

[@stevenreynolds6697]

Very good. I step of recovery We admitted we were powerless over our sin, wnd our lives had become unmanageable! The thing is in morals it doesnt produce unconditional love. God is the source of love. So what happens is you remove one demon and then it finds the house empty. Then that demon goes out and gets 7 more demons stronger. So we must fill the house or soul with holy spirit. A dog will return to its vomit and thats for those who think they can be good without Gods holy spirit!

[@anti-depressionsounds9411]

You have a wonderful soul.

[@talkiebunny3406]

I am not sure if i am victimizer. If i get bullied and mistreated at workplace. Being sexual haressed. Although i voiced it to defense myself, it ends up backfire. These situations had cause me health issues later on. Shouldn't i blame them for doing these? Isn't it unfair to blame everything on me when i didn't ask for it? Who should take responsibility? If i am the one to carries all these on my shoulder, what kind of responsibility should i take? Pls advice, if there is something i should do, i will work on it.

[@denisef1153]

Sounds like your a victim and should report what has happened.

[@johnjosiah8839]

🔥

[@miguelguerrero7944]

Thank you for sharing

[@toonce101]

I have worked with a few people who operate this way. I had little patience for them 😅

[@chadowe]

Truth!

[@DrSeanH]

Oh, @Shadé is confronting us today!!🤣😂

[@entheosmoney]

I.. I feel like I am being undermined. Oh man, okay ~ I wanted to ask How do I stop being a victim, but realised, that's probably me being a victim

[@jesseskellington9427]

Is there a full video on this? If so can you put the link below :-)

[@priyac8450]

How to handle such types of people

[@ellanorevannin4147]

Ahhh this explains someone I know perfectly.

[@user-fl2qt8pt6e]

Thanks a lot I need job interview for recruitment

[@brahmasisters3401]

Oh my god! I was searching for something and I got it here!

[@user-ys5us6xk4q]

I don't feel well

[@solocede]

Excellent

[@ruchika09]

Love your content as always

[@crazymaths23]

Learnt a totally new perspective.

[@gauravtv2]

🎉❤

[@hsundhu7647]

wonderfully informative, God bless! p.s. I apologize if my cousin put a thumbs down, he was just being a troll

[@MuppetsSh0w]

Sums up woke ideology perfectly

[@goodnessgeorge7300]

Is so easy to blame people

[@vaisahasan]

so what should we do for ourselves as being a victim

[@gurmitkaurtaak375]

Very true .😊😅😂🎉❤

[@lawenjan5212]

👏👏

[@tamashorcsak5134]

❤

[@K1RM0]

Your Amazing ❤😊✝️❤️👍

[@MrYatesj1]

My wife to a tee. I no longer love her as I can’t even respect her

[@WhirledPeas]

You just made me understand Trump supporters mentality. Thank you. I’m serious.

[@stevenreynolds6697]

I'm a victor not a victim!

[@withinwithout6263]

Which video is this short from? I don’t see a title and can’t find anything under playlist which seems to match

[@ShadeZahrai]

It's an excerpt from The Tom Ward Show podcast.

[@withinwithout6263]

@@ShadeZahrai I’ll have to go seek that episode of the podcast out. Thank you!

[@villagegirlsakshi7215]

Mam can you teach me

[@cryjohn7257]

🤔

[@solobavarianswiss]

I’ve done that

[@ata_sevinc]

"in it"? Are you from Bristol, UK?

[@lauri-jokotzen6690]

I find this a bit confusing.

[@71-muskanchhabria43]

you are not the only one

[@denisef1153]

I agree.

[@johnjosiah8839]

👀

[@cryjohn7257]

Take responsibility of what???

[@Ppie-hw8qp]

I’d like to read your book please.

[@ShadeZahrai]

We're working on it!

[@LEE444S]

Not quite sure what you've meant?

[@RocketNation07]

Ok, now whats the next step?

[@SayiKiran]

So i am introverted, socially anxious and Victimiser

[@govindarajubruclee6757]

Teach me English just like you

[@jamesdevries1218]

Ahahahhhhh realization again

[@ameythorat8154]

This is the first video of yours where you don't have a solution. How do we deal with such folks?

[@user-ps4tq8yg5l]

So what am I to do with Liv?

[@hkproductions_]

Sounds like Israel

[@sambaaxel3434]

Talking about victims, Shade you’ve Arabic origins, you said nothing about Israel Palestinian conflict. So says something.

[@ShadeZahrai]

There are many words being spoken, comments posted, flags being waved, virtue signaling and fingers pointing - meanwhile scores of innocent people, that have nothing to do with this political conflict, continue to suffer or be killed. Even if I were Arab (I'm Australian with Persian, Turk and Russian heritage) why does my personal opinion about this conflict need to be advertised? I'm not a geopolitical expert. Perhaps taking meaningful action that promotes peace such as petitioning governments or at the very least praying for peace, has more worth than opinions on social media. I leave you with this quote: "These fruitless strifes, these ruinous wars shall pass away, and the ‘Most Great Peace’ shall come. Yet do we see your kings and rulers lavishing their treasures more freely on means for the destruction of the human race than on that which would conduce to the happiness of mankind. … These strifes and this bloodshed and discord must cease, and all men be as one kindred and one family. … Let not a man glory in this, that he loves his country; let him rather glory in this, that he loves his kind. …”

[@denisef1153]

@@ShadeZahraibeautiful

[@user-xu2ee7ct2v]

I can relate to what you are trying to say. I feel that behind that attitude of not taking responsibility and blaming others.. Oh! The road is bad because the government pay no attention, oh! The crime is there newspapers are filled with it, police is not doing work properly.. Oh! The covid is there, god is annoyed with us. Victimized mindset prevent people from taking charge, do research, find solution and lead a better life.

[@arseniodelossantos7357]

Great info. Thank you

[@user-ps4tq8yg5l]

So what am I to do with Liv?

[@user-xu2ee7ct2v]

I can relate to what you are trying to say. I feel that behind that attitude of not taking responsibility and blaming others.. Oh! The road is bad because the government pay no attention, oh! The crime is there newspapers are filled with it, police is not doing work properly.. Oh! The covid is there, god is annoyed with us. Victimized mindset prevent people from taking charge, do research, find solution and lead a better life.