Straight People Gotta Stop

[@kurtisconner]

if ur a pissed off heterosexual person in the comments please take a chill pill bucko you’re allowed to laugh at yourself!!! relax!!!

[@emma-cb6wh]

Kurtis Conner hi kurtis

[@tastynicecat1677]

Woah, *I'm offended*

[@Amanda-zp3rg]

bucko

[@pompompurin2006]

Yesh Please *offended in gay*

[@Algeesoup]

This is hilarious, str8 ppl b crazy. But we still love y’all lol

[@rachaelelizabeth8711]

"don't lose a loyal man because he's occasionally unfaithful" do u even know what loyal means bro

[@Bellas61]

Surprised loyal is even spelled right

[@K1llswitchkat]

wooosh

[@thecrazygingey3692]

@@K1llswitchkat do u know what wooosh means my guy

[@azzy__films]

I read this just as the part came in the video

[@m.m9076]

“Don’t lose a loyal man even though he isn’t really a loyal man”

[@FootlessJo]

I was horrified to realize I haven't been subscribed....I thought I had been for months. I'm now mortified because I've been claiming that extra greeting for half a year without actually joining. What a deep and lasting moral failing, I am ashamed.

[@aquaticangel3380]

You should be ashamed.

[@FootlessJo]

@@aquaticangel3380 Deeply, deeply ashamed.

[@lixonzito2481]

well congrats on becoming an official resident of Kurtistown

[@bostonvontugeln7325]

Give us back our greetings, thief!

[@エイジャ]

It happens to the best of us

[@aydanouman8275]

The extra greeting really hits different when that’s basically the only human interaction you’re getting

[@user-oq7ee2ol6i]

damn that's true

[@Whateva360]

yea 😭

[@nemesis7539]

I was about to C r y

[@RM-ib8tq]

Damn I didn’t think about it that way but yeah

[@IsaacClodfelter]

That's why I subscribed in the first place, why else would you?

[@lilycatherine3238]

If cutting out your eyes makes your boyfriend happy, that isn’t your boyfriend. That’s the mayor of Prague.

[@osiris676]

I noticed your joke ! It was fun 😂

[@censoryoverlord6705]

Nice. 👍

[@schlydops6352]

Stinky

[@kittenmittons_]

LMFAOAOAO

[@FontaineSlug]

Makin it stinky

[@yannmal2259]

This dude predicted that a gender reveal party will burn down something.

[@giant-enemy-spider]

Holy shit he really did

[@sashaferguson2178]

damn he really did

[@caitlinmanning4970]

I was about to comment this lol

[@el3mnt477]

It’s okay guys u can calm down it’s happened quite a few times 4heads

[@urmom6687]

something being california...

[@hi-pb8bq]

the “has this ever happened to you” bit was a genuine fever dream

[@Nebulousart]

R k it was certainly kurtis’s fever dream

[@spegnagmaglorious3590]

I thought I was having a fever dream and I would have rather woken up at a rave

[@davidnobel2966]

Oh oh she's a Cello... just genius

[@foolwithtoomanynames]

Time parroxdox

[@user-mv5tm8eu5z]

that was some adults swim type shit

[@xx-mr2bb]

“don’t loose a loyal man because he’s occasionally unfaithful” *has to be the worst advice i’ve ever heard* 😂

[@dayonnasimmons4455]

I KNOOWWWW I thought they made that as a joke 💀💀💀

[@megschwartz2461]

Right 😂😂 How can you be an unfaithful ‘loyal’ man, like what does that even mean

[@mufields]

"Dont lose a faithful man bc hes unfaithful" basically how that "advice" sounds

[@mariumkhan1078]

babygxx and that’s what makes it even better

[@INSERTMARI]

lmao

[@aguywithalotofopinions412]

Honestly as a straight guy, that “I hate my wife” boomer humor really grosses me out. Like, don’t be with her man, divorce is very much a thing now. Becoming toxic and resentful doesn’t help anyone.

[@Atlas_here5580]

They're secretly gay duh

[@wrathofthelamb318]

@@Atlas_here5580 lack of attraction towards women doesn't equal misogyny.

[@Atlas_here5580]

@@wrathofthelamb318 dude it was a joke, im well aware of that

[@purplecobra52]

Boomers came from a time where divorce was largely frowned upon. And then my grandparents are just stubborn.

[@osiris676]

The guy can't leave because back in the 60's and he was still young, he never felt like he needed to learn how to cook healthy food or keep a house clean. He needs an experienced woman to do it for him. But truly, both of the spouses stay because of a feeling of security. Deep down, they despise each other but would rather hang on to each other than die alone.

[@2445elijah]

Honestly the worst straight memes and stuff involve “sacrifice yourself to your lover and ignore their glaring faults” it’s horrible and perfect for helping normalize abusive relations

[@daniboy4153]

The dude speaks the truth, straight stuff really does try to normalize abuse and all

[@howarewedoingtoday5635]

Black Knight Fool you do realize there talking about memes not people, right? Just a little advice if you were more careful about making anything more personal to you than it should you would be a lot happier and less stressed in life. Since you kind of miss the whole point of the original statement and made it about you instead of the issue at had.

[@howarewedoingtoday5635]

Black Knight Fool in you heart do you really believe there was a malicious intent against the entire straight community because the original comment talked about “normalizing abuse is bad”? So is that an a good thing? The way you pull up sources and point fingers makes it seem like you have no intention to empathize with others and chose to blame shift instead, and yet you’re last source implies that you are more concerned with the empathy of a gay man with feminist, lesbians, and women . I didn’t think you were going to reply with this much of everything, but since you did reply and seem pretty passionate I’m now very intrigued and just want to have a conversation to know why this is affecting you so much

[@raymondhooper3644]

"Babe whats your biggest fear?" "Definitely wasps" "NO, you were supposed to say losing me!" "Idk wasps are pretty scary"

[@sicksalt7765]

"I think you should BEE a little more romantic"

[@ineciaw9249]

Operatic Egg I tip my hat to you.

[@floofkiniguess1026]

Princess Neica Ya like jazz?

[@dookiefart8818]

@Savannah Phillips wheres the b

[@nayabr.119]

Operatic Egg im investing stock in this comment

[@AnastassiaHaynes]

when that girl said "our world" she was telling him she's a commie

[@somehistorynerd]

For our Motherland, Comrades!

[@dannydamnmendez]

No comrade... OUR WORLD

[@rowaneditspeppa3361]

*we are commies

[@Gorkha_plant]

Communist 101

[@MetaphoricallyRose]

Rom coms... more than commerades

[@invisiman1938]

There are two types of elderly couple The kind who hate each other with a dying passion for no apparent reason and don't get a divorce because they'd bee too lonely and lose a lot of money And the two most wholesome people you will ever know There is absolutely no in between.

[@purincore320]

they've either been married for 60 years and are the kindest people in the world, or they would kill each other at any given chance

[@iananderson4754]

Well my grandparents get along great. They were friends since childhood

[@ciphergacha9100]

My grandparents used to be the most wholesome people ever

[@Jupiter-T]

How about the old couple that's like super annoyed with each other's bad habits but is like "Well I've put up with you this long... shit, might as well keep on going."

[@invisiman1938]

@@Jupiter-T that's the first type

[@officialjohnlee]

Whenever he said “has this ever happened to you?” I thought he was about to sponsor some vpn to block the ads

[@officialjohnlee]

I- it WAS

[@RandomAussieGamer]

VPNs don't block ads

[@lemoncucumber9832]

Same! Lmao

[@officialjohnlee]

RandomAussieGamer oh, my bad

[@zeldawarriorprincess1893]

Yah same

[@Keyser___Soze]

“Dont lose a LOYAL man because he’s occasionally UNFAITHFUL” That literally couldn’t contradict itself anymore. That literally makes zero sense and isn’t possible

[@arnavjain2742]

Dont lose a VEGAN man because he occasionally EATS MEAT.

[@spaghetti-zc5on]

Don’t lose a CHAIR because it occasionally EXPLODES

[@_ikako_]

Don't lose your ELECTRIC CAR just because it sometimes RUNS ON GAS

[@bagelinpond2433]

Dont lose the KIDS, please come back Jenifer i miss you

[@sunhopii8534]

@@bagelinpond2433 sorry for your loss dude

[@eatmyahs7603]

that extra greeting hits different when you’re non-heterosexual

[@skibbyflonk]

the peace signs hit like a one-two punch

[@thecowardlyheroo]

Ya XD

[@kaistaege5705]

True mate word

[@lasrie9689]

😳👉🏽👈🏽

[@stovetopboss.]

that’s because everybody has the same rights

[@KoiKat_]

The only time I've ever seen a gender reveal party I actually liked was one for a pregnant horse.

[@thenetherbaddie9760]

thats amazing

[@Morrislover.they.xem.]

Ya, horses are pretty great

[@222fleur_]

I hoped they named the baby horse “equestrianne”

[@syd3262]

did they make any horse puns

[@c0rps3z_bride]

12:05 no. Ur making me mad. You’re getting on my nerves.

[@nereushall6346]

Kurtis: I’m never doing green screen sketches again Kurtis: proceeds to do more green screen sketches

[@drew4458]

"i feel like i moved houses, cuz that was a lot to unpack" is one of kurtis's best jokes

[@flawedsanity]

I love it so much

[@PopcornCone]

Damn I wanna like this but it was at 420 likes

[@DivineMind222]

HOLY SHIT I'VE LITERALLY SAID THE SAME THING BEFORE!

[@squidgypollard1561]

I 100% agree

[@kellyofearth2092]

That's sad

[@hexmum9745]

why is no one talking about how kurtis has a cello

[@emash3361]

i was looking through the comments for this ahaha

[@alinaschroderus]

hexmum i was looking for this comment!

[@fernandatoledo5504]

i was lokking for this comment too

[@roshnisohail4356]

He rented it just for the joke 😭

[@heyitsava352]

I was so confused when i saw it lmao

[@crisptomato9495]

Ok but as a gay, that Shrek wedding looks lit af.

[@tazergraphics]

Same

[@Quail_I_Guess]

same

[@HadiFurqan159]

same

[@HadiFurqan159]

same

[@HadiFurqan159]

same

[@papayasmith]

Don’t lose a loyal man just because he’s not loyal

[@Eyeball44]

Ikr

[@joekerr5418]

You're hurting my brain right now

[@plzkillme2420]

It makes sense you can’t lose a loyal man because the man is loyal

[@ClodaghQuinnchannel]

True

[@JaveriaYousuf]

Haha wisdom talk.

[@hatsuneloren]

When he came out as a “straight white guy” I felt that

[@Jeoloseph]

Why

[@mechalinden]

Leothelion why not?

[@Jeoloseph]

@@mechalinden I just dont really get what it means by "I felt that", I mean it doesn't really mean anything or make any sense in that context

[@laylal4907]

I was the 420th like say thanks

[@ashleywangg]

Leothelion Bro, it's a joke 😕

[@aj-mf1mb]

i’m so proud of kurtis for coming out as straight

[@socialnorm3295]

bts gay i love your username

[@ccl501]

@@socialnorm3295 -i fucking hate your name- *same*

[@socialnorm3295]

「Cøsmic latte ダーリン」 its better than chicken scratches

[@finley7986]

「Cøsmic latte ダーリン」 omfg I legit *wheezed*-

[@baleighmiller9692]

It’s so brave of him😌🥺

[@lmaojustchangedmyname4565]

As a not straight person, actually if you’re a straight man and woman getting married and you’re gonna dress up as shrek and Fiona for that, that’s the best thing I’ve ever seen

[@DoctorWorm97]

this aged like fine wine with elon musk naming his kid X Æ A-12

[@anglicothemonkey3496]

that was probably grimes, they're really really cool

[@lilj3045]

AnglicoTheMonkey aka kyle

[@guitaria6]

Vic Eaton it was grimes who named her kid X Æ A-12. edit: plus, grimes isn’t 100% straight so

[@s.a.8548]

Is grimes bi? She gives off that vibe.

[@julianmars8968]

weirdo yeah but Elon also added the A-12 part

[@shilohelgin2408]

That gender reveal joke was so far ahead of its time.

[@jissellecruz4221]

💀

[@larrybarry5303]

not really it was a joke abt the one that happened in arizona i think

[@Carston1475]

@@larrybarry5303 I will have to check that out

[@baldini_the_houdini]

@@Carston1475 did you ever check it out :(

[@peepeepoopoomyguy7457]

Yeah,I can agree that's hypocritical.

[@dellybird5394]

I think straight people are more likely to end up in resentful marriages because it's the most socially acceptable relationship type. People don't get gay married or stay in poly relationships just because their family/church expects them to, they do it because they've done a lot of self-reflection and realized that's what will make them happy. On the other hand, a lot of straight marriages happen just because they're following the Life ScriptTM without any self-reflection. So, it is more likely that they'll get married to the wrong person for the wrong reasons. A lot of people just won't do well in a lifelong relationship with one person. Some people do better with other types of relationships (or none at all), but they are taught that marriage is the only "right" way. So, they force themselves into an arrangement they dislike and convince themselves the resentment is normal. Marriage works well for me, since I'm a creature of habit that loves waking up with the same partner every single day. You're not broken if you don't want that, so don't consign yourself to a life of posting passive aggressive cope memes... be yourself!

[@Uncle188]

Not exactly. Gay men are generally the happiest couples. Lesbians are generally the most abusive. Heterosexual couples are in the middle.

[@Ismael-kc3ry]

All true, also keep in mind that straight relationships are statistically much much much more likely, so the number of unhealthy straight relationships is astronomically higher by default

[@sayonara963]

I mean, isnt straight relationships like 80 or maybe 90% of the world’s population? It makes sense that there r A LOT of unhappy straight relationships, not just bc of expectations.. being in an lgbt relationship doesnt mean u’ll be happy. It just depends on how ppl handle their relationships.. im concern why make a general assumption of straight relationships.

[@elisecode2212]

amatonormativity ✨

[@NadiaSeesIt]

This is weird take. A lot of these kinds of relationships are relegated to older generations. It's more culture specific than sexuality specific. I've seen amazing and crappy marriages of many sexualities, people's generations are more indicative of this

[@ireallywannasleep3737]

Theres nothing hotter than a dude who's comfotable with his sexuality tbh

[@masterchef7888]

IREALLYWANNASLEEP exactly

[@ratbabe455]

the bar is so low for you guys

[@whalienabi]

Yes!! Maybe my opinion doesn't count since I'm a gay woman, but seeing how comfortable Tom Holland is with his sexuality is one of the main reasons why he'll be the only man I find attractive

[@trailer-trash-trans-boi5363]

@@whalienabi I knoow what you're talking about as a gay male women who're comfy with themselves really be makin bi

[@canves9817]

there is: woman

[@marinarasauce5701]

why do all of kurtis’s tiny jokes turn into mini movies

[@thatsonyou6093]

He is too powerful

[@poffydaisy5134]

He can't control his power of _green screen_

[@skeletiddes]

why do we just....accept it?? LMAO

[@it4065]

@@skeletiddes because he's our mayor

[@krisdoesart9643]

skeletiddes cause he's the mayor and we've gotta be nice to him

[@therealslimshitty5186]

"Welcome to my world." _"Our_ world now." **Soviet Anthem starts playing**

[@aoife78]

ARR YOU KIRRIN ME, IDIA? Lmaoooooo 😂

[@0Flow0]

Wtf 😅

[@gaydummy2845]

☭ for the motherland! ☭

[@EarlyOwOwl]

i still relevant no my city now

[@lilithhastur1952]

Well y'know, red is the color of love and sharing is caring, so communism

[@SandwichGodAllMighty]

Chill cool dude that respects other people’s sexuality’s and genders/pronouns. Respect.

[@Oshidorinohina]

"don't lose a loyal man because he's occasionally unfaithful"- unfaithful and loyal- you can't have both. you either unfaithful, or you're faithful.

[@bigbearkat2010]

Yes thank you. I'm not sure there's a more applicable example of why that Inigo Montoya meme is still a thing.

[@caidalee1994]

It’s like kinda being pregnant. That’s not how it works.

[@hid3f_]

@@caidalee1994 im kinda pregnant but sometimes not

[@sapphirewings8638]

@@hid3f_ *PFFFT-*

[@dbyron3824]

Australia has a show called “married at first sight”. So do what you will with that information

[@zidvicious6047]

Oh God that show annoys me.

[@artemis_beans]

American has it to me and my mom watch it sometimes

[@sah-z7o]

Sarcastic Trash same here in England

[@madisond453]

Sarcastic Trash sight* but yes, and it’s comedy gold

[@치킨사줘-d1v]

yeah same here in France

[@viaviaviavia]

Okay the "has this ever happened to you?" sequence was masterful. Comedy gold. Incredible. I'm speechless.

[@Mucelinq]

A cinematic masterpiece

[@miro6960]

I'm straight but... It was incredible

[@miro6960]

Jk I'm gay

[@ChickenKinglolz]

It was frictionless

[@monomonito929]

kurtis' humour is getting more and more abstract and I'm living 4 it

[@ashegrey3042]

don’t lose a *loyal* man bc he’s *occasionally unfaithful* is WILD

[@mill1757]

WHY DID THE CELLO SKIT ESCALATE LIKE THAT IM CRYINGF

[@togarmah9848]

U KNOWW!!!

[@ia490]

I thought it was time for the ad and I was confused when it didn't happen 😂 that would've been such a good segue

[@alaynachichester8833]

like did he actually buy a cello just for the skit???

[@ShoulderMonster]

@@alaynachichester8833 I wondered if he always had it and this joke provided the perfect excuse to pull it out! "Finally..."

[@claire3614]

Oh my god I've been laughing for minutes now make this stop

[@sammie4159]

that whole cello skit was a f e v e r d r e a m

[@jarjarbinks1006]

Ya I felt fucking high

[@Matty002]

no it was an i n f o m e r c i a l

[@maliacole2523]

i forgot what i was watching

[@Treethefairydog]

I am watching it and I've had to pause it cuz I'm far to high for this

[@levilolol523]

He had the wrong bowhold😤

[@huihui05]

"Heterono, oh no" that's how I feel as a bisexual all the time

[@zeldawarriorprincess1893]

Same bisexual buddy!

[@electrademe4485]

same👨‍🦲

[@skitzosoup]

Same

[@krisreaddesc366]

same

[@inanator]

Same

[@ChipsofShrimp]

If men hate their wife, why don’t they try men?

[@poison-LICKTHEPOISON]

This is actually how I found out I was bi

[@ChipsofShrimp]

@@poison-LICKTHEPOISON congrats!

[@Mountinny]

@@poison-LICKTHEPOISON You found out you were.. BIASED!!

[@steakjoke]

I’m glad Kurtis, as a straight guy, recognizes the difference between normal straight folk and. The Straights.

[@myajanette]

steakjoke yuppppp

[@Audiophile979]

😂😂😂

[@JJ-jw9ec]

I wish more straight people would get that and stop being offended the second we ramble about some straight bullshit.

[@lemonloop4270]

@@Violent4rain is that ethan lmao

[@veryconfused967]

Yes I hate it when people don’t understand the difference

[@blue_is_burning]

kurtis, as a lesbian, please know i would die for you

[@omnical6135]

i misread this and assumed you were calling kurtis a lesbian

[@sugz6072]

Omnical LMFAOO SAME

[@neverleavesthehouse]

@@omnical6135 me too

[@inactiveaccount2703]

Omnical OML-

[@gloss3204]

he is our lesbian emotional support boy

[@juleylikespandas]

kurtis coming out as a “straight white guy” is so brave 😔✊

[@cocolime6496]

I mean he did essentially break the hearts of half his audience 💔

[@dickmedownplz1157]

@brandon roberts bro leave us alphabet ppl alone we DONT actually hate str8 ppl damn😔✊🏿

[@drperkyreal4686]

I am also a straight white guy

[@sage7296]

@brandon roberts calm down man. i can't recall meeting a fello alphabet person that actually hates yall. that opinion has to be rare

[@nicholasvillalobos5849]

Love you bro but IMAGINE if this video was about gay couples 😂😂😂

[@geckomog2590]

"I'm straight but... that's incredible" reminded me of when I got my license it was raining and my examiner said almost nothing the whole time he didn't have to until I pointed out a double rainbow and this 45 y/o man looked up from his clipboard for a sec and said "that's gay" and I almost burst out laughing

[@anicunningham5520]

paint me like one of your french girls? nah, play me like one of your cellos

[@yasemintatar6416]

ani cunningham straightanic

[@honeylavenderbakery]

@@norsegodoflove if i stay loool

[@hrlongmeier]

human rat if i stay?

[@unintentionalmishap.]

Orchestra kids be like-

[@seigeengine]

@@norsegodoflove It's... a reasonably common metaphor.

[@jacjg3629]

he said “welcome to my world” she then said “our world now” 𝙘𝙤𝙢𝙢𝙪𝙣𝙞𝙨𝙢 𝙞𝙣𝙩𝙚𝙣𝙨𝙞𝙛𝙞𝙚𝙨

[@samanthalaube]

Jack Guthrie OH CANADA🇨🇦

[@xhappyponyxwasmyoldname1395]

Wonder Bread uh...?

[@heysisters5272]

Wonder Bread U-U W H A T

[@okaywhynot4728]

Wonder Bread sir-

[@cosmicsailor8733]

Jack Guthrie *Sounds like Communist propaganda but ok*

[@StAshleigh]

Those boomer "jokes" about hating their spouses have always made me so uncomfortable. How are they going to tell me I should be getting married when they make it look like hell. Do the world a favour and just divorce.

[@erinbush9005]

YESS. They make me feel so weird, my mom sometimes posts them and.....ahhh. they're in a happy marriage too, which makes it even weirder🤦‍♀️

[@DiggyDiggy1919]

These aren't boomer jokes. I see them from EVERYONE

[@evannnnnnnnnn369]

Agreed

[@escapedscienceexperiement9824]

@@DiggyDiggy1919 They are definitely boomer originated. ppl from the later gens just adopted it.

[@Alina-kc5ky]

DiggyDiggy19 yeah u kinda right, toxic dating culture be like that. it’s just so mainstream.

[@dhampir_days]

if anyone is wondering why "I hate my spouse" culture is so rampant, it's mostly because of the shaming associated with divorce in more conservative communities. people feel like getting divorced makes them unlovable, inherently a bitch and it's often frowned upon in said communities due to misogyny and the idea you must be with your husband for life regardless of happiness. especially in the US, where another factor is the divorce process is a bitch in itself. people are afraid of being ousted from their social circles or turned into jokes, so when their marriages are obviously showing signs of falling apart, they just... don't get divorced. this leads to deeper resentment and sadly abuse, and any kids in the picture often take a brunt of it too. some people can't realise they're just not a good fit together, which also ties in with the expectations on people to have a happy nuclear heterosexual family, or the idea that dating and relationships are what make people good and whole, not just being good people, and that not wanting to be married makes them bad somehow (this connects to amatonormativity, but that's another can of worms) then there are also a lot of couples who are kind of forced to get married due to circumstances, such as the girl getting pregnant. this obviously isn't a great basis for any relationships.

[@hid3f_]

perfectly said

[@shivanipathak5380]

True and in India it's much worse because here the entire families get married and more often then not the woman is expected to take care of not only the husband but also his parents since they live in the same house (kids moving out from their parents house is frowned about here since it's considered "abandoning"). It is slowly getting better though 🤞🏻

[@vermillion2023]

i cried while reading this

[@grayson8686]

kurtis: have you ever seen cringy, heterosexual stuff? my parents: i am actually... the president of the company.

[@thatsonyou6093]

C e o o f h o m o p h o b i c a b u s e r - my dad

[@lvely4126]

@@thatsonyou6093 Are you okay tho? Does he abuse you?

[@cobbvanthdilf]

My whole school: I am actually the president of the company

[@thatsonyou6093]

@@lvely4126 (The abuse has nothong to do with the homophobia btw) but he abuses my mom

[@lvely4126]

@@thatsonyou6093 That's still really worrying... Maybe you should tell someone who could help?

[@Raven-wq4li]

my therapist: eyeless kurtis isn't real he can't hurt you eyeless kurtis: ⚫👄⚫

[@racool1605]

2:41 😲😲

[@Blushingcupid]

Lmao

[@lev7604]

Oh to see without my eyes ➖👄➖

[@alexghostcookeh]

Izuku Midoryia lmaoooo

[@am-zj4mq]

MY NIGHTMARE

[@dudebbro]

there's a difference between straight people and Straight People

[@bigstunna2049]

But what about straight People

[@katherine996]

Facts

[@ocencat9851]

Exactly. Just like music and music

[@Denturess]

Ocen Cat I think you mean music and Music

[@kahlyn4157]

theres straight people and straight people™️

[@Remi_Lin]

Bro is confident in his identity and comfortable in his masculinity. High key god tier dood. We love a great ally!

[@ASTER10NN]

What is the “home of sexuals” and why do people keep saying I live there?

[@benlovesstyle]

ugh sAme.

[@billbuttlicker1248]

Cherry Cotton Candy I don’t live there anymore because I said “bye of sexuals”

[@andrewaustin5597]

Stolen joke

[@benlovesstyle]

@Emerson Lima but i dont want to be a murderer :(

[@naee491]

omg same

[@cecilyerker]

The rave couple, while tacky and corny, was arguably the LEAST problematic couple in this whole video

[@embrejo2204]

Cecily Erker I agree! Like maybe it didn’t have to be shared on the internet, but if it really happened, then that’s good for them (:

[@weasleynmunatoti]

Yeah it's cringy, but doesn't make their relationship seem bad and toxic haha

[@Dvgteeth]

Just super cringe

[@pinkblink0211]

idk if it's just me but I really didn't think it was that bad lol

[@yipeerika]

It's low-key cute even

[@gomibear.]

As a straight person I apologize for these peoples actions

[@the_kleetus-yeeyee48]

Congratulations on coming out as straight 😞🤠

[@mothwizard3095]

Straights TM: Kids are too young to know their sexuality Also Straights TM: *Asks two year old boy if he has a girlfriend yet*

[@dog_boy5123]

TM?

[@kritisrivastava0]

@@dog_boy5123 trademark, as in Straights™

[@illuminati0ficcial493]

Who tf asks a two year old if they have a girlfriend

[@kritisrivastava0]

@@illuminati0ficcial493 Straights™. Pay attention

[@dog_boy5123]

@@illuminati0ficcial493 pedos who need to be send to hell

[@camhutchins03]

you’ve heard of “breaking her back like a glow stick” well introducing “playing her back like a cello”

[@shannybabes96]

I've never heard of the first one either! I'm learning so much

[@rileymcgowan6490]

My sister’s friend’s mom went to school with someone named Cynjohnthia. A hybrid of Cynthia and John. I wish I was making that up.

[@hid3f_]

BRUH

[@CreativeCreatorCreates]

Ooh noooooooooo

[@imbroke97]

Americans will name their kids ANYTHING except for a normal name

[@CreativeCreatorCreates]

@@imbroke97 my boys have familial names...from their elders. I can’t fathom naming themselves something awful. When I was little I was told my name was a mans name (Sidney was my granddads name). No one else had it, which at the time was upsetting. Im fine with it now lol. Back then the popular names were Amy and Jennifer. I knew multiples of each throughout my whole life until post college years.

[@sausageassassinn]

I feel so bad for that poor kid,I hope they changed their name

[@Mostly_Roblox]

As a straight white guy, this is the reason I don't judge a group by it's worst members

[@LowSelf-EsteemLord]

Bro why someone reply with "stay mad"? You seem like a pretty chill person

[@Mostly_Roblox]

@@LowSelf-EsteemLord Thanks, so do you

[@LowSelf-EsteemLord]

@@Mostly_Roblox thank you!

[@Mostly_Roblox]

@@LowSelf-EsteemLord You're welcome

[@MLM_Argenti]

As a gay dude, same honestly

[@elysia1700]

every single one of kurtis’s jokes are a whole movie now and i’m here for it

[@Thisworldisagoner]

I always wished I could play out my ideas movie style. Kurtis did it in real :')

[@nunyabidness143]

Lmao this the truest comment I’ve ever seen.

[@mars6855]

me: oh cute baby! what’s its name? straight white woman: well it’s a GIRL, she’s wearing pink socks. and her name is drywall, thank you

[@pluto3194]

Inaccurate It'd be named Drie-wa'al

[@somekid1488]

200th like let's goo

[@MeltingMellons]

Because that’s how it felt like making her

[@r.7530]

@@MeltingMellons NAILED IT😂😂😂

[@communistskeletonpiss]

@@MeltingMellons isn't that the case with every straight couple?

[@minervajones2585]

The gender reveal joke now is so depressingly funny

[@avery6672]

he rlly did predict the future

[@maisygibson84]

I was hoping that someone would comment this.

[@savvielovesyou]

This is like the second time he has done some predicting 2020 shit and it’s weird. I’m here for it but woah. Also so despresssing

[@avery6672]

Savannah Harris When was the first time?

[@jeIIycat]

Avery his cop video lmao

[@tri4ls]

the whole "has this ever happened to you" is genuinely my favorite kurtis skit and i have no idea why

[@alisagiro]

SAME

[@cokejupiter6189]

Her: “He’s probably thinking about other girls” Him: *has this ever happened to you?*

[@Doomstroyer42X]

congrats on 69 likes

[@danispaghetti]

lol is this what that “how many of my viewers are bisexual women” poll on twitter was ahaha

[@melima_]

I see, I should follow him on twitter 😂

[@_y0inks581]

@@melima_ same

[@fawnarella]

my bi ass missed that?? i should deffo follow him on twitter

[@xsophia.sheridanx8244]

All of them

[@shuyotirah9132]

@@fawnarella lmao same. My bi ass is lowkey sad that i missed it

[@e3xiii315]

Who’s buying legs and eyes? Asking for a friend.

[@noahmoon9623]

Ebony Everette me.

[@ChiB2004]

Ebony Everette ww17.ducksarethebest.com/ is my go to place,

[@xhappyponyxwasmyoldname1395]

Me

[@calibmatlock]

A blind pirate with peg leg, you uneducated dingus.

[@beans7448]

The black market

[@Hawthorn6852]

As a queer person watching a straight guy make fun of other straight people is a form of entertainment I didn't know I needed lmao

[@teodoraristic822]

"Or they'll have a gender reveal party where they'll set a school on fire" Kurtis casually having a prophetic revelation while making a funny video

[@eliselinnarz4757]

i was looking for this one lmao

[@NougetChops]

As Elise said, I came looking for this one.

[@cringevidsfromchildhood]

The colour of the flames reveal the gender!

[@Rob-sv1dn]

I hate shrigma

[@viry1337]

Someone had actually done it before this video

[@lia-sm3em]

im straight but kissing the homies goodnight is where its at

[@stzy8282]

Ong

[@lucy-vo2lr]

i wish i could kiss the homies goodnight :(

[@EA-kq6hh]

I'll be more concern if you *didn't* kiss homies gn

[@cicada7788]

you aint real homies if it aint a lil gay💯

[@shredd9719]

Kissing the homies goodnight isn't gay tho? 🤔

[@dagonundone]

I was ready for all the hetero couple insults. What I wasn’t prepared for was to get absolutely dunked on for being a Home Depot employee.

[@bananasinfrench]

rip 😔

[@damarisabreu1169]

The Hill bro nobody cares

[@Lilyina444]

HeatherKiwi same but as a raver hahaha

[@FlaiExists]

As a fellow human living the orange life... It really do hit different... F

[@The_Top_Hat_2]

as a straight person, i can confirm that we gotta stop edit: i am now questioning the first claim

[@HopeLeyana]

it's official, kurtis' green screen obsession was not subdued by his entire video dedicated to green screens.

[@lcrocks7477]

Why is no one talking about the fact that Kurtis just, you know, has a cello...

[@homedepotguys8088]

i-

[@fleshplanes2032]

He also plays music so it didnt faze me at all

[@sixelakeller5377]

LCRocks he rented it for the sole purpose of this video 😭

[@karaba3580]

THANK YOU someone said it

[@gard2097]

Nobody: Kurtis: does a skit that takes up half of the video

[@kayleycraghead6238]

i mean it is kurtis

[@livrose6071]

Extra greeting

[@chloe._.]

That skit was peak surrealist humour

[@ethanbrown7628]

Beat me to it. I posted something almost exactly like this before running to the comments section to see who else noticed.

[@gard2097]

Chloe Naylor agreed

[@shutired]

5:38 „Strumming my pain with his fingers" taken to a whole new level

[@Umitskyra]

That “don’t lose a loyal man because he’s occasionally unfaithful” took me out 💀💀

[@kayladjeje4373]

The heteros lost all the rights at that point

[@horchatatee5407]

More like don't lose an unloyal man because, you know, he's occasionally faithful 🤷‍♀️

[@Umitskyra]

horchata tee this....this is amazing

[@Umitskyra]

Kayla Djeje what even are heteros

[@noiz1762]

@@notyourmum7883 yeah they were just rephrasing the original point in a more truthful way

[@plumfrogvic]

Straight guy saying bye to his friend: Hey dude, i’m straight but, hope you have a nice day

[@JefferyEpsteinOfficial]

Me a straight guy saying- leave us alone you purple dinosaur that aired on televising from 9 5 brh

[@bruh5491]

Streight people with baggy clothes watching this video: im gonna shoot up a gay parade...No hetero tho😳. (If this comment gets hate then im taking it down)

[@ellemillz2881]

I hate when guys be like I love you bro or love you man -no homo. Like you loving your fren doesn’t make you gay

[@josephvavrina5546]

Damn right

[@terra5857]

Elle Millz I’m straight but same it’s not like you gotta say it after everything

[@miamaria7397]

the “has this ever happened to you” existential crisis sketch was PERFECT 👌🏼

[@tlkinghdsluvr]

you called?

[@sarahjessicka]

I really thought it might last the WHOLE video at that point

[@inferiorcitrus7833]

Sarah Reese He needs to make an entire video version of the sketch

[@p1nkfreud]

Mia M yeah it had some classic Tim and Eric vibes

[@izzybitsyspider03]

Dat shit melted my brain

[@marileaminasi2325]

4:36 "and when I tried to fight that guy *cause his tank top was messing with my vibe* " I can't stop thinking about this line I Think It's the funniest thing on earth

[@Belelelekake]

“i never asked you to cut your eyes out and sell your leg why would you do that to yourself” the girlfriend: ⚫️👄⚫️

[@seanceknowles2911]

I actually laughed at this and I ain't even mad😂

[@youareverynoice8805]

Hhaahahahha

[@myunsolicitedopinion]

underrated comment^^

[@sydneybrooks6038]

Oh my word 😂😂😂

[@mayahinz6486]

👀👄👀

[@georgiabeth6684]

“A gender reveal party where they would set a school on fire” ....... that did NOT age well (California wildfires)

[@m.m9076]

This video hits different in 2020

[@tiggergirl711]

@@m.m9076 this video was posted 4 months ago...in 2020

[@moss_piglet]

Devyn Mortensen that’s how long it’s felt, this year has lasted decades.

[@garrett9451]

I now know what caused the fires.

[@thetreeseyes]

Garrett BULLSHIT lovely world we live in

[@coolbeans5911]

straight alpha-male TM: i fear no man but that _thing_ (points to pink sunset) _it scares me_

[@btsandtxtloverstraykidzfan3486]

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@SKU77_GVTZ]

as a demisexual trans male, straight white men that aren’t kurtis make me so uncomfortable 😭

[@smoceany9478]

man you gotta use commas, i thought you were sayin you were a demisexual trans male straight white men for a second

[@calix_mayeus]

@@smoceany9478 you are so funny (im not bein sarcastic i just think ur neat)

[@SKU77_GVTZ]

@@smoceany9478 HELPP 💀 my bad bro

[@altaccount9716]

That's just racist. Imagine if somebody said: "black people who aren't Will Smith make me so uncomfortable."

[@SKU77_GVTZ]

@@altaccount9716 i sniff a straight white offended male

[@jacehutchison6592]

i feel like kurtis falls into the category of John Mulaney Straight

[@wickerbee2731]

this is the most accurate comment in the whole comment section.

[@wwa_minuet]

“I think I was supposed to be gay. I think in heaven they made like 3/4 of a gay person and forgot to flip the final switch and then just sent me out and said ‘You marked that one gay, right?’ and they go ‘Oh no, was I supposed to?’ and they went ‘Oh man... Well, this will be a very interesting person.’ This’ll be a very silly person.”

[@theloveshow8079]

John Mulaney’s straight?????

[@p1ish]

@@theloveshow8079 he has a wife

[@eypu999]

@@theloveshow8079 lmao yes

[@anniyüüü]

so this mans out here playing her back like a cello... so he’s literally playing her 👀 but don’t lose a loyal man just because he’s occasionally unfaithful y’all 🥴🥴

[@WhoIsJaiK]

최 서연 LoL I love that emoji for some reason 🥴🥴I don’t know what it means

[@emiliew5553]

안녕 Jai K • 18 years ago if you type ‘drunk’ on an iphone that emoji comes up so it means drunk 🥴

[@heysaucemikehere1804]

Em Wiebe yes, I always look exactly like that when I’m drunk, good job, apple.

[@emiliew5553]

Micheala W yes exactly 😌

[@alicia-hd2cs]

@@WhoIsJaiK your profile pic is the discount version of mine

[@dinonuggets5212]

I’m gay, but Kurtis is cool, but no hetero tho

[@nopenope6159]

ahaha i love this comment😂

[@justsierraok]

Suspicious

[@annulizbeth]

Oh God this is my favourite comment 🤣

[@justbumblebee1]

Best one yet 😂😂

[@Moon_x_sun]

Im so gonna use no hetero tho more often

[@benfaust]

I saw "332K" as your likes and thought, "When I click this it's going to change to 333 and that will be cool." Imagine my surprise when the number didn't change. My whole reality is crumbling now that I've discovered I'm not 1,000 people.

[@lisag.215]

Ladies and dudes: If you want to get married to a man and he starts making 'the old ball and chain' and 'soon my freedom ends' kinda jokes, dump him

[@sabrinahumaira6367]

Lisa Stan and the man goes “iSSa JokE WhY aRE yOU sO seNsEtive” lmao def dump him

[@thevoid6990]

i will never in my life understand why its so hard to just... not marry if u dont want to. like i know peer pressure is a thing but. saying no is also a thing? maybe im just too inexperienced in romance? i dont know???

[@lisag.215]

@@thevoid6990 tbh I think a lot of it is pressure from society and how you're expected to get married and have children so many think they need marriage to be happy and marry sooner than they were ready for. And I guess some of it is toxic masculinity because some are just so old fashioned that they think showing emotions and being excited about their marriage is unmanly. But idk some might be just assholes

[@TheRainyKingdom]

I read this as “Ladies and Ducks”

[@jessicatgrowl7614]

Lisa Stan agree! He’s secretly a boomer. Run!

[@hilomilo220]

my own grandma literally told me “i can’t stand him but i’m too old to get a divorce” about my grandpa. and she like laughed afterward and pretended she was joking but I know she just let that one slip. big ol yikes aha

[@whytho8856]

it's really sad because my grandfather married my grandma because he loved her but my grandma literally married him because she thought nobody else would marry her. they fight so often but they never got (and never will) get a divorce because it would go against their religion :T

[@jellllybean30]

why tho? I never thought I’d see someone else talk about their grandparents being in the exact same situation as mine lmfaooo :(

[@laur-unstagenameactuallyca1587]

that's depressing as heeeeeeell

[@Esodum]

Yeah, same with mine. That's so weird, i'll never really understand

[@Bighomie39]

That's what we call an old married couple my dude

[@jhetrick2503]

therapist: eyeless kurtis conner doesn't exist, he can't hurt you eyeless kurtis conner:

[@LeonSKennedysHoe]

i had to scroll too far to find a comment about his eyeless face 😵‍💫

[@simoki_2307]

333

[@unicorn69]

2:45

[@STAR_WALTZ]

my fav creepypasta 😋😋

[@Randombluelion_]

kurts conner

[@basil_gamin]

As a not straight I am not straight

[@JadeTheAdventurer]

Basil pfp somehow incredibly accurate

[@safadefivefortyone]

basil pfp checks out

[@JadeTheAdventurer]

@@safadefivefortyone real

[@heirkind]

Kurtis’s joke about a gender reveal party starting a fire really aged like milk

[@disjectamembruh4033]

hi john

[@TakadoGaming]

I was looking for this comment lmao

[@KENDY_KEEPER]

I was about to say that

[@abbypfau8898]

thats what i was thinking 💀

[@Bea-ni6vk]

H3Y JOHN

[@cones1362]

I saw this one Tik Tok where this girl asked her boyfriend what would he do if she never existed and she got mad because he said that you would date someone else

[@HyrumLentz]

Imagine missing something that doesn't exist

[@davidkonevky7372]

That's like promising to not cheat on your imaginary girlfriend that's on your dreams.

[@lawriem7747]

I cAn’T bELiEvE yOu wOuLdN’t dAtE mE iF I wAs a wOrM!

[@matilda4664]

imagine being so insecure about your masculinity that you have to reassure people that you're not gay everytime you say something remotely feminine or emotional

[@jazirsa]

grrrr im not g*y 😡😡😡😡😡🤬🤬🤬👿 i like opposite gender

[@casp6132]

It’s sad : (

[@agentbuddy5914]

I mean it kinda depends you cant say bend me over and fuck me in the ass and let me suck even though you are straight. I dont know about you but that sounds a little gay. Also this has nothing to do with masculinity pls stop.

[@1chigotea97]

@@agentbuddy5914 it does dumbass

[@1chigotea97]

@Ákos Dánffy No but people can be :)

[@Kira_Yoshikage959]

You know straight tiktok is bad when even straight guy cringes at them

[@skull_party13]

Your girlfriend turned into a cello? Ok Mr Struggle

[@smik5304]

Fandom Encounters 👏 Leave 👏 him 👏 now. 👏

[@cobbvanthdilf]

💀💀💀🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@kurzler]

I'M LITERALLY CRYING💀

[@markduret9538]

*distress noises*

[@coolmoth3771]

anyone else think this was gonna say "thats rough buddy"? lol

[@thanos7449]

people who get mad at this don’t understand that we’re talking about “the heteros™️” or “white people™️”, not people who happen to be straight and/or white. the trademark symbol is very important

[@Lagomorph27]

You know what discrimination is, right? It doesn’t have to be a heavily persecuted group for it to still be wrong. Even if you aren’t talking about everyone in that group, saying something as all encompassing as the title of the video, for instance, is going to get even the people that have nothing to do with the actual subject pretty riled up. In other words, this isn’t going to stop until we stop going at each other’s throats.

[@mayolover23]

@@norsegodoflove he addressed it in the comment lol

[@meikaaa9042]

I want to like but it perfectly has 666 likes🥺

[@meikaaa9042]

@@Lagomorph27 it's just a joke calm down, I'm straight and this video was funny af.

[@maz1866]

Yeah it’s like how “Karen” isn’t about people named Karen.

[@moonie..]

me???? a heterophobic???? of course not! I even have friends who are... like that.

[@YouTubeChannel-uw4bd]

Yeah. I have the b-word pass, too. Them breeders are wack.

[@vajytte]

@@KZbinChannel-uw4bd how-

[@YouTubeChannel-uw4bd]

lottie why-

[@vajytte]

@@KZbinChannel-uw4bd because i want to know lol-

[@buffmusicman]

Yeah, i mean, the... ˢᵗʳᵃⁱᵍʰᵗˢ... Are fine, as long as they don’t, like, shove it down my throat or anything, like i dont want my kids to see that, not gonna let them turn my darlings straight you know

[@rogue_2k374]

As a straight person, I apologize for my sexualities actions of dumbness.

[@starbunii]

As a pansexual genderfluid person, i forgive you

[@niamhfennell9845]

kurtis ur not just a straight white guy, ur a cool straight white guy; there’s a difference 😌

[@calyyygrazie8]

@@maggierrose Stan bts equally 👀💜

[@niamhfennell9845]

maggie rose yes!! ot7 are my babies but tae won’t ever stop being my bias 😳😳

[@emmabennett7699]

Thank god everyone in this thread is an Army, or else people would say some mean things. By the way I'm an Army.

[@ilovesatan4525]

talks about cringe ----> stans kpop members, hypocrisy 101

[@niamhfennell9845]

Brade stay pressed 😌✋