Αch yes, Voldemort: The world's most famous reddit atheist
@puppetperson76124 жыл бұрын
I legit cant wait for the final showdown
@morgoth_bauglir4 жыл бұрын
@@katinkaherbal8236 bold of you to assume Voldemort was ever straight
@wesday36524 жыл бұрын
@@katinkaherbal8236 JK Rowling rewrites a new character as gay every few weeks/months
@ami8764 жыл бұрын
@@morgoth_bauglir Clearly he and Quirrel were a thing
@barbararab63904 жыл бұрын
How can you forget his iconic fedora
@AlienBusDriver14 жыл бұрын
not calling the school godwarts was a huge mistake
@eloryosnak41003 жыл бұрын
WHY DOES THIS HAVE SO FEW UPVOTES
@t0adfa1ry3 жыл бұрын
@@eloryosnak4100 likes* This isn't reddit
@Kian.murphy0073 жыл бұрын
Not calling the school Satan's gates was a big mistake ALL HALE SATAN
@AlienBusDriver13 жыл бұрын
@@Kian.murphy007 FUCK YEAH HAIL SATAN!!!!!!
@OwlGypsy3 жыл бұрын
Nooo because that implies God has warts and that would be sacrilege
@SilveredMoth4 жыл бұрын
"Every women is another man's future wife" Stares into the camera with gay despair
@idkdude11184 жыл бұрын
*Aromantic despair*
@rainmer4714 жыл бұрын
@@idkdude1118 saaame tbh
@recklessroges4 жыл бұрын
11:36 #giffable
@wishtopublish4 жыл бұрын
"Remember kids: the only reason to respect women is because she is the future property of a man!"
@xmlthegreat4 жыл бұрын
@@wishtopublish "Hippity hoppity, this woman is now my property!" -Jesus Christ, I think.
@ParadoxFree3 жыл бұрын
The three pillars of atheism: Science, socialism, and birthdays.
@r0b0b0t8 Жыл бұрын
and the sub-pillar under science; evolution
@LevitheEldritchAbomination Жыл бұрын
oh god BIRTHDAYS!
@towelgirl21 Жыл бұрын
As a Christian, I've never heard anything bad about birthdays. I'd be a way less-uptight Gryffindor Hat and the birthday thing came out of nowhere for me.
@UwUImShio Жыл бұрын
@@towelgirl21 there are some christians/jehovah's witnesses that don't celebrate birthdays if I remember correctly
@towelgirl21 Жыл бұрын
@@UwUImShio I know Jehovah's Witnesses don't, but the author def wasn't talking about them here.
@clowntown10174 жыл бұрын
*"Harry Potter and The Body Of Christ."*
@kingofallfrogs4 жыл бұрын
Yes.
@willowashe4 жыл бұрын
Harry Potter and the Half-Jewish Pope
@Gator_Queen81884 жыл бұрын
"Harry Potter and the holy corpse"
@arden.in.the.garden4 жыл бұрын
Harry Potter and the Holy Spirit
@pidgeoncrossing9634 жыл бұрын
your profile picture... i have never came so hard
@BirdPeopleArentReal4 жыл бұрын
"Ronald cries into his oatmeal" Why does this seem completely out of character, yet something Ron would _definitely do_
@kailavanderwielen35884 жыл бұрын
Ron as a child, distraught over a prank Frank and George played on him. he's about five years old and thinks his brothers hate him. Mrs. Weasley is bustling around the kitchen, reassuring him his brothers absolutely love him. Mr. Wesley comes in late and gets a stern lecture from his wife, then gets super awkward around the crying Ron. He pulls out a Muggle toy: a remote control car and cheers Ron up with it, showing him how to work the controls. This Muggle toy runs on magic, not batteries. Ron is happy and plays with it for approximately .5 seconds before Fred and George accidentally break it. Mrs. Weasley, despite her better judgment, repairs it with her wand in secret, making Ron promise not to tell anyone she's fixed it. This later sets the scene for Ron to drive the flying car with Fred and George in it. :)
@BlueGangsta19584 жыл бұрын
Ron eating oatmeal doesn't sound right. Considering English breakfast, I'd expect him to cry in his bacon.
@iamscaredofbread43574 жыл бұрын
@@BlueGangsta1958 tbf I knew few English people who have a full English breakfast on the regular, I feel like it reads wrong because we call it porriage and that sounds infinatley more British than oatmeal and therefore more Ron.
@crowskinned4 жыл бұрын
a Ron Weasley who's older than 11 would probably have been the one who talked himself to tears. Also, he'd continue eating.
@emiliew55534 жыл бұрын
i think it's because she said 'ronald' and the person saying 'ronald' wasn't McGonigall
@anaribeiro66154 жыл бұрын
It's Harry Potter, but instead of British witches they are American Christian cowboys with creepy smiles
@artemisfowldragon4 жыл бұрын
guess which aesthetic I prefer
@alicedarhk97904 жыл бұрын
American Horror Story: the Christianing
@artemisfowldragon4 жыл бұрын
@Weird Trixibelle yeah I know, I've seen the post. but come on. tell me the brits don't have *a e s t h e t I c* when they get all magical and shit
@ELBERTOO4 жыл бұрын
alpha reaperion *we are the aesthetics of M A G I C*
@artemisfowldragon4 жыл бұрын
@@ELBERTOO precisely
@onyxth3ripper Жыл бұрын
Once a girl in my class shared her 500 page fan fiction (hand written) with me. I'll use 4 words to describe it all: Hagrid was canonicly Jesus. Edit: I found out that the girl who did this passed away recently, so all of the new replies if there will be any, please be respectful. She was pretty weird but was nice and had a good, kind heart.
@aaroncabatingan5238 Жыл бұрын
That sounds awesome lol
@rat_queen7431 Жыл бұрын
Holy fucking shit Hagrid second coming REAL?
@carolinamoralesgarcia4367 Жыл бұрын
Oooh i want to read it
@somegoodsoup7008 Жыл бұрын
THIS GIRL WAS AHEAD OF HER TIME
@CalamitasBrimstoneWitch Жыл бұрын
I WOULD READ THAT. Hagrid as Jesus is so funny and yet makes so much sense based on his personality. I'm not even christian lol-
@selkie2sato3964 жыл бұрын
"You're a Christian now, Harry." every christian mom when their child is born
@tudor16934 жыл бұрын
thats why they call upon god when in labor
@micabicaldo4 жыл бұрын
Sounds like the baptisms I’ve witnessed
@unclekanethetiberiummain19944 жыл бұрын
Everybody knows women can't birth children by themselves. God just shove his hand there, grabs the baby and then yanks it out.
@gothicwebby20974 жыл бұрын
Uncle Kane the tiberium main obviously! How else would it happen? Those bogus doctors?
@axo73894 жыл бұрын
This is true. Can confirm
@internettraveler86664 жыл бұрын
This reads like if the original aunt petunia wrote Harry Potter
@kealchsfactory74924 жыл бұрын
As opposed to Rita Skeeter who was the original writer
@eggtemperaa4 жыл бұрын
LITERALLY WTF
@mollygustafsson75464 жыл бұрын
@Kealch's Factory Did you just call JK Rowling Rita Skeeter because honestly i agree
@consumption33274 жыл бұрын
Molly Gustafsson well, Rita Skeeter is like a desperate fanfic writer, and after Cursed Child, JK Rowling isn’t that far off lmao
@sophiesometimessews4 жыл бұрын
Kealch's Factory it was obviously Gilderoy Lockhart who stole Hermione’s essays and released them into the muggle world to get enough money to shrink himself to the size of a mouse
@PureSniperWolf2 жыл бұрын
Can we take a moment to appreciate that Christian Mama Author is obviously thirsty for Mr. Snape?
@hdbordercollie Жыл бұрын
definitely not good for their family
@astortawa804 Жыл бұрын
Undercover member of the Snapewives cult /j
@theoddishmushroom1534 Жыл бұрын
It’s giving snapewife energy
@hellspawnstudios Жыл бұрын
I remember reading this on my own (finally got past chapter 2 lol) and thinking, 'okay as long as they didn't butcher my man Snape it's fine', reaching his introduction, and going, 'THAT'S NOT SNAPE THAT'S NOT SNAPE THAT'S NOT SNAPE THAT'S NOT-'
@CodyCLI Жыл бұрын
You're saying she wants to see the solid snape? Sorry I'll leave.
@maybemckenna4 жыл бұрын
HE HAS _SCIENCE_ AND _SOCIALISM_ AND _BIRTHDAYS_
@eliasapollo41314 жыл бұрын
Honestly that sounds wonderful
@zackcolosky99084 жыл бұрын
now that's my kinda night
@eliasapollo41314 жыл бұрын
Seize the means of birthday presents comrades 😤
@monomakesmecrystill12524 жыл бұрын
now that's some good shit tbh
@barbararab63904 жыл бұрын
*the horror*
@ninjabuttocks4 жыл бұрын
“Birthdays aren’t Christian” that sounds like Jehovah’s Witness.
"Birthdays aren't christian!" *continues to celebrate Jesus's birth*
@one_smol_duck4 жыл бұрын
So does "Harry Potter isn't Christian" in the first place tbh
@pippi22854 жыл бұрын
@@rainqueen4624 Jehovah's witnesses don't celebrate christmas either
@julecaesara4823 жыл бұрын
"He wore dark leather shoes on both feet." How many people has this woman encountered who wear different shoes on each feet?
@shroom_48563 жыл бұрын
Oh, oh yeah
@michaelturnage33953 жыл бұрын
If she's a Pentecostal-probably almost everyone in her looney bin of a Church wore mismatched clothing. Top that with the freakish giggling and jittering.
@WarmBreadBearBuddy3 жыл бұрын
She has had one two many “wacky Wensdays”
@Subpar12243 жыл бұрын
I know right, the urge to have at least two adjectives to describe the leather shoes caused her to add unnecessary detail I thought they were wearing a slipper and a leather shoe IMO
@izzytwizzy62553 жыл бұрын
Luna Lovegood
@Void_Daddy3 жыл бұрын
I love it that the author tried so hard to replace the magic with prayer, they practically just ended up describing how Clerics work in D&D. Ah yes, it all makes sense now, Dumbledore is a level 20 Peace Cleric and used Heroes' Feast to summon the food. Hogwarts is just a Cleric school.
@elizabethsmith72242 жыл бұрын
A Harry Potter inspired DND campaign would be awesome tho.
@CrowOfRoses2 жыл бұрын
i am sO ON IT
@oakenshadow67632 жыл бұрын
This comment. I love this comment.
@BennettRDavis2 жыл бұрын
ItzzBayleyy tell me when you get it I need a campaign idea cause I think I’m dming next.
@aeroblu20022 жыл бұрын
I mean, prayer and miracles sound EXACTLY like magic, soooo...
@finnsnyder89004 жыл бұрын
"Ronald began to cry into his oatmeal" is a whole ass mood
@beetle77103 жыл бұрын
Yes
@blacksheep19243 жыл бұрын
I felt it in my GOD DAMN SOUL, and that saying something, cause I'm not entirely sure I have one.
@angelamaryquitecontrary46093 жыл бұрын
It's called 'porridge' in UK English.
@blacksheep19243 жыл бұрын
@@angelamaryquitecontrary4609 at least it ain't grits
@shigekax3 жыл бұрын
I read ronald reagan and thought to myself "yes" while picturing the man crying
@maddiegrace39393 жыл бұрын
"dumbledore cried calmly" has the same energy as "dumbledore asked calmly"
@NoNo-lt9bi3 жыл бұрын
DiD yOuFv PuT yOUR namE iN tHe gOoBlrt of FIRE!?!?!?
@Yesmypfpismeirl3 жыл бұрын
@@NoNo-lt9bi you’re saying it wrong it’s not “DiD yoU pUt yOur NaMe iN tHe gObLet Of FirE” Its “HarRy HarrY! DiD yoU pUt YOur NamE iN tHe gOBLet Of FiRE”
@nataliebarbosa74773 жыл бұрын
*inhales* haRrY, HarRy, diD yEH pUt yA naMe iN tHe gOblEt oF fYAh!?”
@DKlett13 жыл бұрын
I can only imagine Dumbledore *WILDY SOBBING*
@jaslynlee44053 жыл бұрын
HARRY IM SAD
@nqrtzy87654 жыл бұрын
“Every young woman is another man’s future wife” The LGBT community: *ceases to exist*
@ThreeNinjaDucks4 жыл бұрын
Be gone gays
@shiny96904 жыл бұрын
We don't feel so good...
@totallynotpoisonedsoup86804 жыл бұрын
* turns to dust *
@joedean46984 жыл бұрын
But I didn't say anything about another man's husband... Checkmate
@jayanderson1474 жыл бұрын
and also, a woman only has value cause she belongs to a man, apparently
@oldestdreamja2 жыл бұрын
me, a fanfiction writer: "everything I write is an absolute failure" *sees the thumbnail* me: "nevermind, everything I write is a beautiful literary masterpiece that can move anybody to tears.
@thejuiceking2219 Жыл бұрын
this fic will likely be more famous than any of yours ever will
@oldestdreamja Жыл бұрын
@@thejuiceking2219 ouch, one fic of mine already reached 2500 hits on AO3. why be so damn rude? and just so you know, I competed in several contests already.
@thejuiceking2219 Жыл бұрын
@@oldestdreamja oh, that's impressive...probably i don't do fanfic stuff
@oldestdreamja Жыл бұрын
@@thejuiceking2219 not fanfiction contests, if that's you think. like actual, school related poetry and literary contests.
@BudgieCute Жыл бұрын
someone else posted a really similar comment 2 years ago uhh
@f1shb0n394 жыл бұрын
Harry: Hugs a girl before marriage hagrid: yOU'rE a SiNNeR HaRrY
@xx_somescenecath0lic_xx8884 жыл бұрын
F1shb0n3 LMBO
@xx_somescenecath0lic_xx8884 жыл бұрын
F1shb0n3 #WaitingTillMarriageSquad
@boomblor4 жыл бұрын
@@xx_somescenecath0lic_xx888 yeah im still waiting to breath, gotta wait till marriage! #WaitingTillMarriageSquad
@xx_somescenecath0lic_xx8884 жыл бұрын
Blood Bath and Beyond LOLLLL I don't have hair yet! #WaitingTillMarriage
@VioletsOnMars3 жыл бұрын
Hilarious! 🤣
@DasSpaceAce4 жыл бұрын
I have the most hilarious mental image of Canon Hagrid just laughing hysterically at Christian Hagrid
@funkydude81964 жыл бұрын
Yes and Christian Hagrid looks like ps2 hagrid
@galactic-hamster70434 жыл бұрын
@@funkydude8196 but C O W B O Y
@farateq4 жыл бұрын
and brolden’s hagrid just DYING
@farateq4 жыл бұрын
darren’s harry and joey’s ron would be eating red vines half in disgust half in amusement
@natasharules7704 жыл бұрын
This comment has 666 likes write now 😂
@_sickbug4 жыл бұрын
" Ronald began to *cry into his oatmeal* " my morning routine
@evankimsey78673 жыл бұрын
Same, as also I love the pfp
@michaelinthebathroom75603 жыл бұрын
Hello Catra.
@_sickbug3 жыл бұрын
@@michaelinthebathroom7560 hey adora
@billystokes39173 жыл бұрын
I prefer to cry into my frosted flakes.
@deathbydrano3 жыл бұрын
Noice pfp btw
@NeurospicyBitch88 Жыл бұрын
Christian Harry Potter reminds me of the time Ned Flanders read Harry Potter to his kid and was all like "And Harry Potter, and all of his wizard friends went straight to Hell for practicing Witchcraft!"
@Nora-no9gx Жыл бұрын
"Yay!"
@Dani_yells244 жыл бұрын
I like how they don’t have British accents anymore, if you’re Christian you have to have a southern accent. It’s a rule apparently
@rosiedosies4 жыл бұрын
As a former Christian who lived near the south I can 100% confirm
@danielleisaacs62374 жыл бұрын
I like how theres a congress in britain
@Mikanojo4 жыл бұрын
Until coming to America i did not know this was a "thing" but even though i am surrounded by people in the Mountain Northwest they STILL insist on preaching with a Southern accent ( o_0 )! So... this Nihonjin Christian from the North island of Hokkaido is working on that. Y'all.
@idkman96964 жыл бұрын
As a current Christian I can confirm
@0XBlondie96X04 жыл бұрын
I literally haven't ever heard of that omg
@Scarleto4 жыл бұрын
"This poor little one has been raised in a terrible situation," Hagrid declared concernedly. "He was watched by a babysitter every second of the day, his aunt saw him as part of her perfect life package like the big house, the fancy career, and the speedy car!" Well at least he didn't grow up in a cupboard under the stairs like that other kid.
@xaldynnemo474 жыл бұрын
She keeps bringing up the babysitter, too. If both parents worked, having a babysitter instead of just leaving their kids alone all the time sounds like *amazing* parenting. If I didn't know any better, I'd say the author is jealous of the babysitter her husband hired...
@SunnyDragonfly4 жыл бұрын
@@xaldynnemo47 She didn't want to alienate the christian families that have so many kids that some do live under the stairs
@Scarleto4 жыл бұрын
I'm honestly still wondering where Dudley is LOL
@jasper37064 жыл бұрын
"He's been raised in such a horrible situation! His aunt and uncle treat and love him like their own child, and constant individual supervision by a babysitter even when his parents are at work! Not to mention, they teach him about SCIENCE for FUN"
@astrinymris99534 жыл бұрын
@@Scarleto As a sinful feminist, Petunia decided to exercise her reproductive rights and never bore a biological child of her own. ;-D
@lacrossestick1323 жыл бұрын
“Ronald began to cry into his oatmeal” is a more Ron sentence than any sentence in the original books, yet at the same time the least Ron sentence ever
@ET--3 жыл бұрын
Plot twist , The mentioned ronald in this situation is .... Ronald Reagan
@dumbfrap882 жыл бұрын
I’m
@So_Indecisive2 жыл бұрын
Maybe if the phrasing was different,it would work maybe ‘Ron began to sob into his porridge’ would work better or something like that
@raffaelefrau97892 жыл бұрын
They forgot his name is Ronald billius.
@pinkdragon48302 жыл бұрын
@@ET-- Ronald McDonald
@annitanap3671 Жыл бұрын
I find it super ironic that Luna and other Hufflepuff hats are looked down on for only worshiping some of the Bible when Harry is literally sitting there eating bacon. YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE EATING PIG HARRY! WHAT'S YOUR EXCUSE?!
@apple-macaron2576 Жыл бұрын
I KNOW RIGHT? Ahh yes, we listen to the entire bible, how dare you not?! But of course the entire bible is the convenient part only.
@vicenteabalosdominguez5257 Жыл бұрын
He's christian, not jewish.
@paulsander5579 Жыл бұрын
@vicenteabalosdomin In the bible god says what animals you can and can't eat, (something to do with coven hooves or something) Your not so post to eat pig, Horses tho? Go crazy
@michaelhenry3234 Жыл бұрын
@@paulsander5579 Yes, but Christians believe that Jesus' sacrifice has unburdened humanity from those rules. Like, Christians no longer have to sacrifice animals to God (etc.) because Jesus is the ultimate sacrifice.
@neoqwerty Жыл бұрын
@@michaelhenry3234 Theene ewhy do they still insist homosexuality's a sin? They pick and choose out of convenience awfully often, is it or is it not supposed to be a thing? Also they think abortion bad when there's instructions on magic paternity-detecting abortion potion, so abortion is okay for infidelity, which is NEVER a proposed exemption on the chistians' abortion bans.... At least they could either pick all or none and be consistent, instead of wishy washy cherry-picking heretics. I'm the non-believer, I'm not supposed to know the bible's rules and the specifics of it better than them.
@nernice_begrin4 жыл бұрын
“You’re a Christian Harry” I don’t think that’s how conversion works.
@gardenofbone4 жыл бұрын
CONVERSION THERAPY!!!
@sylvies50784 жыл бұрын
@@gardenofbone DID SOMEBODY SAY SUMMER CAMP WITH PENCE?!
@dumbpablo57554 жыл бұрын
so... if this fanfic followed the story a lil bit more... harry would be destined to save christianity?
@justanotheridiot61884 жыл бұрын
That’s like a stranger coming up to me and saying “You’re straight Idiot” and me immediately go from being bi to 100% straight
@awesomegaymer57864 жыл бұрын
@@justanotheridiot6188 that's actually how bi people are made, someone walks up to them and says "you're straight" but then someone else walks up and says "you're gay" and then they're both, happened to me in 1994
@clairesaunders56944 жыл бұрын
"science, socialism, and birthdays" ah yes, the 3 sins
@golden_starlight_4 жыл бұрын
the unholy trinity
@actioncat29214 жыл бұрын
The 3 genders
@snekboop96874 жыл бұрын
this comment sent me
@paris54104 жыл бұрын
I'm kind of into all three, but mostly socialism
@AlyssaRicks4 жыл бұрын
No one tell the author that Jesus was a socialist lmao
@dots6124 жыл бұрын
are we rlly not gonna talk about "Ronald began to cry into his oatmeal"
@tomorrowsagitatortm25694 жыл бұрын
Complete mood
@chloe._.4 жыл бұрын
My favourite line. Ever
@Korihor6664 жыл бұрын
So far the lunch is my favorite part Ron crying and Harry and draco arguing women shouldn’t have jobs but for different reasons each stupid in its own way...priceless. 😭
@sbrooks93474 жыл бұрын
The boy has salty oatmeal now
@IrisCornelydeBoer4 жыл бұрын
I'm in a Quarantine Quote chat and I saw this absolute beaut without any context, and I think I could've lived without said context. But I'm glad to have obtained it.
@camchameleon41513 жыл бұрын
20:28 at my last Christian school, there was a teacher who taught upper elementary, and when she was lecturing a troublesome student, her version was, “look at me in my god-given eyeballs!” And every time I cringed just a little bit harder
@elizabethsmith72242 жыл бұрын
As a Christian that sounds hilarious.
@towelgirl21 Жыл бұрын
Was she trying to make the kid laugh? It's just such weird phrasing XD
@turtlegamer9818 Жыл бұрын
@@elizabethsmith7224 agreed
@misxa6344 Жыл бұрын
👁️👁️ "look at me in my god given eyeballs!
@conwaysquest6961 Жыл бұрын
God Gave her those eyeballs? what happened to the ones she was born with?
@hhhemlock4 жыл бұрын
Why can I imagine Hagrid just pulling bibles out of his beard and handing them to random people on the street?
@ivyg15154 жыл бұрын
Harry, Ron and Hermione stared in shock as Hagrid walked down Privet Drive while pulling out bibles from his beard and handing them to the atheists on the street. "Hagrid," Hermione said, full of concern. "What...are you doing?" "YA'LL NEED JESÙS!" Hagrid screamed. "Oh, hello Hermione."
@outtathepantry4 жыл бұрын
Pphhtt, yes. Also love the Bakugou pfp.
@Zoe-bx9bp4 жыл бұрын
@@gwendolynwestwind9764 we had gideons show up at school and give everyone a pocket bible. By the end of the day, two were ripped up, two graffitied with pentagrams and stuff and one was burned at some point. I may be a Christian myself but schools should not have groups in trying to force it on others.
@ashikjaman19404 жыл бұрын
Gwendolyn Westwind One year a bunch of people outside my school were handing out pocket bibles. They gave one to a girl in a hijab and it was really awkward lmao
@patom83274 жыл бұрын
At my school in the entrance room the table in it had bibles on it. And by the end of the day they were thrown across the room. And as a Christian I picked up one still on the table and chucked it.
@trashstorage14683 жыл бұрын
I love how upon hearing that Christianity exists, Harry turns into a human bible.
@1_atlas_73 жыл бұрын
He is the chosen one
@elechronic3 жыл бұрын
@@1_atlas_7 Harry Potter is now Jesus
@raffaelefrau97892 жыл бұрын
@@elechronic YES
@bumblebeeproductions16732 жыл бұрын
@@elechronic he was the second coming of Christ all along
@dazzlingdexter50602 жыл бұрын
LMBO 😂
@zombietuna25904 жыл бұрын
"She's a better writer than Onision, I will give her that" We all know how low that bar is. 😅
@RuSosan4 жыл бұрын
That bar is so low that one would have to dig a tunnel to even get close to it. _A very, very, _*_VERY_*_ deep tunnel..._
@gaesimp__4 жыл бұрын
Yes
@frenchfry554 жыл бұрын
@@RuSosan digging-down-into-the-earth's-core-until-you-burn deep, how low the bar is
@bachpham68624 жыл бұрын
Then again, she copy most of her homework from a competent writer.
@Raximus30004 жыл бұрын
There is a lower though, the author of "empress theresa."
@THEphoney Жыл бұрын
I love how Harry's parents are never mentioned, I imagine the marauders in their dorm one day yelling at the ceiling "FATHER GOD, PLEASE BLESS THIS MAP!" They likely wouldn't even call themselves the marauders, they'd call themelves preachers of God or something 💀
@neoqwerty Жыл бұрын
They're the Cathars 2.0 probably
@effervescentapricot7522 Жыл бұрын
The Crusaders maybe?
@patrickmcelrath496210 ай бұрын
@@neoqwertythe anode or the cathode
@sr988515 күн бұрын
missionaries
@seretonindealer94404 жыл бұрын
Harry Potter turned me into an atheistic homosexual, so I can see why this mother was concerned 😌
@jessicabraud33074 жыл бұрын
Bro Hermione was my first gay crush. A girl who stands her ground, is very capable, is intelligent, and works hard? Sign me the hell up. I fell hard for her when watching the movies growing up and then loved her more when I finally read the books in 5th grade lol
@mx.moobloom4 жыл бұрын
@@jessicabraud3307 same bro, I read the first book in like 3rd grade, but also in that same year I read the ever after high book series, and will not confirm nor deny having a crush on Raven Queen.
@jorjaberry87304 жыл бұрын
Lowest of Trash I relate so much!! My first girl crush was Ginny (book Ginny lol) I was completely head over heals lol!
@rainmer4714 жыл бұрын
@@mx.moobloom Honestly same, except I will proudly admit my past crush on Raven Queen. Also Hermione, because how can you not? Also read the first book (and the next four because my parents wouldn't let me read the last two until I borrowed them from the library without asking) in third grade lol
@atree92844 жыл бұрын
Lowest of Trash hunny have you ever heard of our lord and savior JADE WEST?!?!
@thisisthelukas4 жыл бұрын
Ah yes, the four houses: Christian, Catholic, Mormon, and Lutheran.
@shiny96904 жыл бұрын
Don't forget the underground nondenominational house
@chickensweater17744 жыл бұрын
I quit my life...... -we love this story-
@georgiaderousse7604 жыл бұрын
Catholic Mormon and Lutheran are all denominations of Christian. Jesus Christ :|
@owenb85964 жыл бұрын
Thanks I was trying to figure out the other one
@izzymarie89874 жыл бұрын
Shronk Catholic, Protestant, Mormon, Lutheran
@michaelwithay4 жыл бұрын
I really love that even though Ron was eating oatmeal he somehow spit out the bacon that Harry was eating
@farateq4 жыл бұрын
harry spat so much it fell in ron’s mouth
@blueshell2923 жыл бұрын
This is disgusting. Have a like
@lilithsangrouber8043 жыл бұрын
Perhaps they were making out but the author didn't mention it
@therat48903 жыл бұрын
They were definitely snogging tho
@Tobias_iscool3 жыл бұрын
**WhEeZe**
@morgan1076 Жыл бұрын
turning Hermione into the opposite of a career woman is one of the funniest things I've ever heard
@breindykohane6142 Жыл бұрын
I know!!! She is literally the defition of a future career woman!
@xHerzAusStahlx10 ай бұрын
The original Hermione is one of those characters who get the ending in which they have children because the author was trying to make some kind of point with it ("this is the trad happy end everyone expects, riiiight?", "the legacy has to go on", "the kid is supposed to accomplish something", "the world is finally safe so everyone absolutely has to have kids", "the world is not safe but people have kids despite it all"... whatever), but it feels really out of character because from what we have seen until this ending this person would have been *so* childfree 😅
@Ӝ̵̨̄-з6м4 жыл бұрын
"Harry vocalized" has the same energy as calling eyes orbs
@casperwashere4 жыл бұрын
Accurate
@adamferguson46764 жыл бұрын
Ciara :D well they technically are lol
@starduststriker87924 жыл бұрын
Broke: Eyes Woke: Orbs Bespoke: Balls
@ninjacreeper10664 жыл бұрын
@Emily Barclay Crucified: Ocular Globes
@hellointernetitsphilsfirst93974 жыл бұрын
For your consideration: Sight circles
@AnaCarmo4 жыл бұрын
"Hermione called Dumbledore daddy" well that's a whole other fanfiction right there lol
@steveholmes113 жыл бұрын
Shudders!!!
@clinging_to_the_sidewalk3 жыл бұрын
nOO
@3veywevey3 жыл бұрын
yeah i took that line the wrong way, i had to skip back and figure it our lmaoo
@thekameha13 жыл бұрын
Oh no no no no no NO pls i hope nobody has made that fanfic
@hypermecha50483 жыл бұрын
One story at a time now lol
@mangomamba54824 жыл бұрын
"Parenting should be about children, not the parents" So what you're saying is that as long as the child is loved and cared for, it doesn't matter who the parents are? Hell yeah, gay rights
@andreeaalbu64064 жыл бұрын
i love this
@matilde_54 жыл бұрын
Checkmate!
@monbub4 жыл бұрын
that is literally the only thing I agreed with in the whole book
@ReptilianTeaDrinker4 жыл бұрын
Hell yes!!! LONG LIVE GAY RIGHTS.
@aurora62564 жыл бұрын
Long live single parents too!
@stevefilms19972 жыл бұрын
I respect hermione’s game Always offer to do something you know is not needed so you can seem nice without having to do anything Offering to help cook was a deception 100 move mad respect
@VoxVocisCruora4 жыл бұрын
Me, writing fanfic before: Man, this is crap. I'm the worst writer ever! My story sucks so bad! Me: *Watches this video* Me, writing fanfic now: I am the next Stephen King. Everything I pen is a literary masterpiece.
@MahouShoujo-Studios3 жыл бұрын
Mooood 🤣
@chaos_opossum3 жыл бұрын
Lmao
@Lana-ne8bd3 жыл бұрын
Bruh fr-
@arthur-ux4rx3 жыл бұрын
SAMEEEE
@brokendays3 жыл бұрын
Mood
@andrawr79114 жыл бұрын
I am a Christian and this is one of the stupidest things I have ever seen. The only good thing from this is “Ronald began to cry into his oatmeal”
@graceyl.1954 жыл бұрын
Same and that part broke me
@terra_the_nightingale1354 жыл бұрын
At least Aunt Petunia celebrated Harry’s birthday
@NationalSecurityAgencyUS4 жыл бұрын
"Ronald began to cry into his oatmeal.", is the 2020 of sentences.
@dretadel4 жыл бұрын
That, and "Harry followed Ronald with the obedience of one who does not have many friends in a new situation." Like, if that's not relatable I don't know what is.
@buizeltube66244 жыл бұрын
same haha
@slinkie4234 жыл бұрын
"Ronald began to cry into his oatmeal" is a bigger mood than it should be
@dextra97534 жыл бұрын
ron BURSTING into to tears while eating oatmeal because someone insulted mary, mother of jesus is the funniest shit
@gwenm49374 жыл бұрын
I made it my instagram bio, I want to confuse the people who know me >:)
@Sam-gg9kn4 жыл бұрын
The best part is book Ron probably didn't even know what religion was and would've been super confused by this entire situation
@shotaaizawa13204 жыл бұрын
As a peep with a eating disorder. I relateee
@oakenshadow67632 жыл бұрын
My parents are Christian, but they not only let us but encouraged us to read Harry Potter. My mom was actually confused when her mom, also a Christian, asked if it was okay to give us Harry Potter mugs. My mom didn't even know there was controversy around the books. THAT is a Christian. I lean towards Atheist myself. As another comment said, Dumbdore the Cleric casts Hero's feast! 9:35
@lavasqrl7022 жыл бұрын
Sorry to be that guy, but it's Christian, not Cristian.
@conwaysquest6961 Жыл бұрын
When does harry learn the fun spells, like flame strike, insect plague, create undead, or harm?
@turtlesandmoreturtles Жыл бұрын
@@conwaysquest6961 fiendfyre and inferi are canon as well as many ways to harm people but I don't know about insect plagues. But since they obviously don't work in real life, I don't see anything dangerous in Harry Potter.
@gabrote42 Жыл бұрын
Word. Glad the books were only mildly sexist and horrible, unlike more recent JK works
@conwaysquest6961 Жыл бұрын
@@turtlesandmoreturtles The spells I listed are high-level cleric spells in D&D. I was leaning into the joke.
@urgae91254 жыл бұрын
“Parenting should be about the children, not the parents. That’s why it’s called parenting.” Shouldn’t it be Childrening? Edit: lmfao I forgot I even commented on this. How did this get so many likes?
@grayfox69304 жыл бұрын
Saying what i was thinking
@cindyscrawly16724 жыл бұрын
I don't know why this made laugh that much
@SallySueSaywhatagain4 жыл бұрын
Right? I think our author flubbed there...
@ihavelemonade56404 жыл бұрын
It sounds so wrong, idk why but i never want to read od hear it again
@KanraLovesHumans4 жыл бұрын
We all must children our kids right 🤣
@everyones-a-cryptic4 жыл бұрын
She: ”Every woman is some man's future wife.” Nuns: Am I a joke to you?
@neatoburrito72494 жыл бұрын
ThEy aRe A wiFe Of JeSus
@ZomBunny4 жыл бұрын
alternatively ThEy ArE mArRiEd tO gOd
@justanotheridiot61884 жыл бұрын
Lesbians and aromantic women: Am I a joke to you?
@blakchristianbale4 жыл бұрын
Elly Belly well yeah, the author’s an evangelical
@Ash-pe7kx4 жыл бұрын
Well nuns are catholic, so according to this story just one step removed from Satan himself. An unmarried woman who worships idols...
@spookyrosev64674 жыл бұрын
That Harry vs Draco match is basically the one meme that’s like: Harry: All women! Are queens! Draco: if she breathes! SHE’S A THOOOT!!!! Edit: holy shit I didn’t expect my shitpost to blow up like this
@mariafausti31284 жыл бұрын
Lmao yesss
@OatmealGrillBlazer4 жыл бұрын
hi again
@danielleisaacs62374 жыл бұрын
Except theyre both trying to own them
@nyxowo81434 жыл бұрын
@@danielleisaacs6237 OOF
@pipinacarathanasis4 жыл бұрын
LMAOOO
@alexpotts6520 Жыл бұрын
The thing is we *already* have "Harry Potter for Christians" - it's called the Chronicles of Narnia and the allegory is subtle enough that it can be enjoyed totally independently of it being Christian propaganda. (I certainly didn't make the connection when I read those books as a kid.)
@jacksonreynolds743311 ай бұрын
The allegory is subtle enough until the last book when it comes in at the speed of crashing train lol.
@boxorak8 ай бұрын
You're not wrong, but doesn't Aslan literally say he's Jesus at some point?
@Doomzdeh8 ай бұрын
Having allusions and references to a religion does not make something propaganda. Narnia involves Christianity in its world and story, but it never lies about it
@the_last_ballad6 ай бұрын
@@Doomzdeh and having lies or trying to hide a message isn't necessary for something to be propoganda. Plenty of propoganda uses actual events(say the "let's go to war" US WWII propoganda featuring the actions of the Nazis) or is very blatant about the message it is pushing(like plenty of Christian media)
@jolynelovemail3 ай бұрын
@@Doomzdeh propaganda isn't inherently equivalent to misinformation, you know that, right? propaganda is defined by Merriam-Webster as "the spreading of ideas, information, or rumor for the purpose of helping or injuring an institution, a cause, or a person" or the idea/information/rumor itself
@sami.meg104 жыл бұрын
Mister snape may have sent you, but the phrase “cried into his oatmeal” sent me with free two-day shipping from amazon prime
@AMScarlet4 жыл бұрын
This fanfic is obviously rubbish. Draco Malfoy would never be caught dead in khakis.
@cuttlefishhh3 жыл бұрын
his father will hear about this
@dracomalfoy91083 жыл бұрын
Agreed...
@driveasandwich67343 жыл бұрын
What a weird instance of Draco In Leather Pants
@KiahJeune3 жыл бұрын
imagine Draco was colourblind and ended up wearing red one day :))
@sophyvanegas56393 жыл бұрын
I dead
@slayqueenlarachelslay48424 жыл бұрын
Omg aunt petunia is such a horrible person, how dare she not let Harry get kidnapped by this half giant man, smh
@arlaratman8624 жыл бұрын
Lemon L’Arachel and let him have two birthdays if he didn’t, so rude 😡
@spookyspider28204 жыл бұрын
Lemon L’Arachel god what a bitch
@Dva044 жыл бұрын
exactly like such a horrible aunt. smh i’m glad i’m not related to her. and he had a birthday!!!! AWFUL!!!
@arlaratman8624 жыл бұрын
lol gamer and almost a second one too???? How is he not taken away by cps yet?
@phantomtoby99723 жыл бұрын
me: drinking water "HERMIONE CALLS DUMBLEDORE 'DADDY'-" me: *almost spits out water*
@BritishMotherfucker Жыл бұрын
U good?
@renkomon.831210 ай бұрын
What?! I need a timestamp of when that was pointed out. I don't feel so good.😶
@kayleeatkins62024 жыл бұрын
“Hermione called Dumbledore daddy” This women’s trying to tell you something
@gabyaguilar24144 жыл бұрын
can we make a spin-off
@Jan-kr6xn4 жыл бұрын
Gaby Aguilar pleaseeee do ohmygosh
@kayleeatkins62024 жыл бұрын
Let’s do it. I say we all share a google document with each other and get to work.
@Jan-kr6xn4 жыл бұрын
Yess
@mollygustafsson75464 жыл бұрын
Absolutely im in
@lukas32364 жыл бұрын
*ex-christian confusion when they talk about believing literally everything in the bible WHILE EATING BACON*
@matilde_54 жыл бұрын
Them: *your pfp*
@absinthe72664 жыл бұрын
МατιldεThεCrαzγOnε lol good one
@ManubibiWalsh4 жыл бұрын
As a... former? Catholic, doublethink is Christianity’s bread and butter.
@meerodi4 жыл бұрын
Right!?!
@valeriecarpenter74594 жыл бұрын
Same lol
@multiverse10174 жыл бұрын
The thing that frustrates me most is that they changed everyone’s houses. “I hate slytherins” is not something Draco Malfoy would ever say in any conceivable universe ever
@NokoFace4 жыл бұрын
Haven't watched the video yet, but just reading what you said has absolutely infuriated me.
@CurbHopper1114 жыл бұрын
I think that's just more proof it's a troll. They know the characters too well in order to make things the opposite and ironic.
@Natalie-rr7db4 жыл бұрын
I know! It bothered me so much. Snape's outfit was awful too. Mr. Snape. My brain hurts.
@SakiBlablabla4 жыл бұрын
NokoFace 😅😂🤣 True!
@moontowne48734 жыл бұрын
Shut up malfoy SHUT UP
@_.ray._20432 жыл бұрын
Imagine the kids saying they want to watch the movies. I can just imagine the mother acting out the book she wrote
@sh4peshifter4804 жыл бұрын
Hogwarts School of Prayer and Miracles, where everyone is a perfect Christian. Apart from, apparently, three quarters of the school.
@thedanpride4 жыл бұрын
The part where Reverend Dumbledore says that if they didn't include the other hats the school would be small concerned me because the implication to me is that the other hats are only there so Gryffindor hats can convert them
@Quinn-bq9sv4 жыл бұрын
So... *c h u r c h*
@kota4634 жыл бұрын
Quinn exactly
@lauragraceokay4 жыл бұрын
so, catholic school.
@crochetingcanuck4 жыл бұрын
@@lauragraceokay as a former student, I can verfiy the accuracy of this lol.
@taylamuller18114 жыл бұрын
“Always be respectful to a woman because that is another man’s future wife” Yeah its not like woman are people or anything. They only deserve respect because a man is going to marry them one day? Yikes.
@savannahclark83034 жыл бұрын
its pretty much like saying "dont hit a woman, cuz thats gonna be a mans property someday!" gross
@ToastyJunebugs4 жыл бұрын
My friend's youth group split the guys and girls into groups for the purity talk. The girls were given the "You are a used napkin" speech, while the boys were told "don't take from the virgin pool bc it's not fair to other men".
@anamf2474 жыл бұрын
@@ToastyJunebugs sure it's an appalling sentiment but "don't take from the virgin pool" is HILARIOUS. might fuck around and swipe a girl from the virgin pool.
@gremlinlad36714 жыл бұрын
Dianna Stroud do they... do they not know about cloth napkins? have they never heard of washing a cloth napkin? the analogy is disgusting, but do they really not know about cloth napkins?
@APoliticalConfusionAndMess4 жыл бұрын
Shut the fuck up, you SJW feminist.
@tayisjeeperz4 жыл бұрын
"he has science and socialism and birthdays" might be the best quote of all time
@bxwieknife4 жыл бұрын
I dunno, "Ronald cried into his oatmeal" is my personal favorite
@shukuala95024 жыл бұрын
I'm gonna use that today, it's my birthday
@rainmer4714 жыл бұрын
ah yes, my three favorite things, science, socialism, and birthdays. Maria would be proud. (To clarify, Maria from the sound of music)
@eggtemperaa4 жыл бұрын
i love it LMAO
@shiningsylvie2 жыл бұрын
I went to a private catholic college and was required to take two semesters of theology classes, and for one of them I took a course titled “the gospel according to Harry Potter” and it absolutely ruled. it was a few week long class where we just read all the books and discussed any Christian themes in them. there’s a fair amount, speaking vaguely, like good verses evil etc… anyway I kinda wish we discovered this back then, if only for parody, it would have been a fun thing to laugh about with a bunch of fellow millennials
@xanderguyer7512 Жыл бұрын
Genuinely, my Episcopal church had a summer Bible Camp (for little kids) themed to Harry Potter 😂
@matilozano964 жыл бұрын
In restrospect, Hagrid totally abducted an 11 year old to get him into a cult. In Canon, I mean.
@emiliew55534 жыл бұрын
Mati Lozano oh fuck. but at least in the canon the cult gave him superpowers. in this one he just learns Family Values
@Mamorufumio4 жыл бұрын
2-3 years later: tonight on the bbc we go into the failed mi6 raid on a religious cult that had been increasing its numbers by kidnapping 11 year old children from their homes and brainwashing them to believe in in far right Christian values, and what it could mean for the UK’s future when it comes to such groups.
@HansAlRachid4 жыл бұрын
Which is why that scene was filmed like a horror movie in the film adaptation.
@lydiafayre98064 жыл бұрын
As hot a take as that is, I don't think Hogwarts actually fits very many of the cult hallmarks. It's a boarding school. It functions like a boarding school, just with magic.
@taekinuru24 жыл бұрын
Dia Grace You’d be surprised how... Normal, a cult can seem at times. (look up Mormon ‘space camps’)
@esthermigo30094 жыл бұрын
"every young woman is a man's future wife" *oh see that, it's the gay leaving my body*
@wooyeah17384 жыл бұрын
*excuse me, sir, have you seen my gay*
@redacted50784 жыл бұрын
@@wooyeah1738 I Saw a woman called Joanne Rowling run away with it
@wooyeah17384 жыл бұрын
[REDACTED] That was a beautiful addition to this
@sobertillnoon4 жыл бұрын
I feel like strange aeons here took a bit of exception to that line. I can't figure out why that would be but they didn't seem to care much for it.
@ClownDollThatHasContemptForYou4 жыл бұрын
*my gay,where is it?*
@riinmclave16354 жыл бұрын
this christian mom trying to erase all the accidental drarry and just SO much making it worse
@AmPhilH3O4 жыл бұрын
@Hans Hanzo i read the Snape description to my partners, one who loves Snape and one who really dislikes him. Both were just like, "WTF"
@dragongirl79784 жыл бұрын
There was no accidental Drarry. Seriously, the "enemies are secretly in love" trope is dumb. The closest I could maybe see is Draco having feelings for Harry but not the other way round. Their kids on the other hand, oh my. 😍 Cursed Child sucked as a story, but Albus and Scorpius are literally the cutest thing ever (even if there is a completely stupid and irrelevant "no homo" scene near the end 🙄🙄🙄). I ship them so hard.
@AmPhilH3O4 жыл бұрын
@@dragongirl7978 Not going to lie, Cursed Child read like a fanfiction, but I didnt even mind because Scorpio and Albus were just so adorable.
@dragongirl79784 жыл бұрын
@@AmPhilH3O Someone actually wrote a fanfiction cleaning it up, turning it into a novel, and altering it just slightly to make it Scorbus (AS IT SHOULD BE!) and I actually mostly read that instead of the actual screenplay lol.
@Enigmatic_Lurker Жыл бұрын
*Ronald began to cry into his oatmeal.* I can't. This line is going to live rent free in my head forever.
@StealthPants14 жыл бұрын
I think "ronald began to cry into his oatmeal" is still in character
@TheBonkleFox4 жыл бұрын
and then he still ate it.
@horae25834 жыл бұрын
a growing christian boy needs his sodium 🤷♀️
@jasper27394 жыл бұрын
@@horae2583 ...yes
@ayushibhanja4 жыл бұрын
i cackled because you’re so right
@d.c.31414 жыл бұрын
"She's a better writer than onision, I'll give her that." Lol that doesn't take much 😂
@felixstone3.144 жыл бұрын
Me: peepeeellie XBox: achievement get: be a better writer then onionboi
@emiliew55534 жыл бұрын
@@felixstone3.14 that's like the achievement you get on reddit for verifying your email
@skylarjohnson77794 жыл бұрын
"every woman is a man's future wife" it's nice that she thinks even I will find someone.
@internetsuchtixd7474 жыл бұрын
Yeah that was my fist thought as well At least she believes in me
@saulesalejos44834 жыл бұрын
Yeah.. Nuns? No those dosen't matter.
@internetsuchtixd7474 жыл бұрын
@@saulesalejos4483 nah they clearly don’t...
@lick284 жыл бұрын
@@saulesalejos4483 nuns are from a completely different species. Have you seen those things? They look like they can be in a horror film titled "The nun"
@chestersnap3 жыл бұрын
Aren't nuns married to God?
@krekcabnow29102 жыл бұрын
I like how Dumbledore is still bias to Gryffindor.
@soloops83224 жыл бұрын
"ronald began to cry into his oatmeal" is now an official part of my friend groups lexicon. thank you
@baardkopperud4 жыл бұрын
Noticed how you recognize some words without reading them - and how you sometimes get it wrong? I first read that quote as "[Caused] Ronald Reagan to cry into his oatmeal", and though "wow, that fic must be really bad if it causes dead presidents to cry into their breakfast!"... It makes more sense now.
@Ellenchattergirl4 жыл бұрын
What does lexicon mean?
@chihuahua32394 жыл бұрын
@@baardkopperud I was about to comment that!!! XD
@sebastianstewart68944 жыл бұрын
@@Ellenchattergirl lexicon means book.
@meisterband86034 жыл бұрын
@@Ellenchattergirl vocabulaire
@audritarr42204 жыл бұрын
"Every woman is a man's future wife" Not if i marry all the women first
@iangarvin46714 жыл бұрын
Nice
@bananasinfrench4 жыл бұрын
Please, save me
@fanpet39124 жыл бұрын
That works for me
@coltonbates6294 жыл бұрын
That's the right attitude!
@childishblood21664 жыл бұрын
What if......you're a lesbian?..
@alyrar80024 жыл бұрын
- Snape’s chest hair - vegan food is evil - pantsuits are evil - environmentally friendly cars are evil - wHY are all the houses switched - Snape’s chest hair
@lolli_popples4 жыл бұрын
Another point you should add is Snape's chest hair.
@jan_Masewin4 жыл бұрын
No matter how annoying vegans get, preventing animals from suffering is still moral :’)
@KylenKiomaka4 жыл бұрын
How is his chest hair visible if he's wearing a suit? Is it just the suit jacket and tie, with no shirt underneath?
@crystalfinlay44994 жыл бұрын
You should have added the fact this women called him Mr. Snape. Haha lmfao is sounds so out of place.
@synflwr4 жыл бұрын
As a vegetarian, I can confirm some of the substitute food I’ve eaten is evil.
@ra1ndr4gon Жыл бұрын
Lolololol I remember when I was in 4th grade (8-9 year olds) a girl in my class had a birthday party which was harry potter themed. Her best friend came up to her, and flat out told her she refuses to go, because “god doesn’t like witches and magic”. We died.
@apollyonkatastrefia15864 жыл бұрын
Original aunt Petunia would never have a dirty carpet.
@keelwarner2314 жыл бұрын
Big facts
@youruncleolaf46944 жыл бұрын
She’d make Harry clean it
@catwillden25204 жыл бұрын
not a troll evidence here
@michael-elliottjansen43284 жыл бұрын
no one: strange aeons, in immense pain: Hermione Calls Dumbledore Daddy.
@midwestmasocist4 жыл бұрын
Dumbledaddy
@redone2334 жыл бұрын
i hate that reply with a burning passion but it’s so good why must you do this to me
@mistermangoman92934 жыл бұрын
“Being an atheist is a long slippery slope to not vacuuming” Me: hey that’s not true! Me:*looks at the floor of my room* Me:ok you win this one
@siggilinde56234 жыл бұрын
And I was wondering what was wrong with me. Excuse me, I have to go to church, pray and maybe I will buy there a vacuum cleaner. You think the brand “devil“ is available there?
@DutchHeathen4 жыл бұрын
This is what theists would label a checkmate.
@batyalivni35774 жыл бұрын
Well something clearly went wrong somewhere because I'm a theist and my carpet is... Something. I demand my clean carpet religion privilege immediately
@ghostsatelier76524 жыл бұрын
@@batyalivni3577 mmmmsame
@nothingposted90564 жыл бұрын
My excuse is that I'm thinking about vacuuming
@jordanr.21203 жыл бұрын
I don't know why the specificity that Mr. Snape wore black leather shoes "on both feet" is the thing that made me laugh the most out of this whole mess.
@harshitadas14354 жыл бұрын
I'm fourteen and a non-native english speaker. This atrocity makes me feel proud and confident in my english writing skills.
@MahouShoujo-Studios3 жыл бұрын
Good because your English sounds amazing by the looks of it. I'm an American and even my English sucks.
@joyflameball3 жыл бұрын
@@MahouShoujo-Studios BOTH OF YOUR ENGLISH IS AMAZING
@merlinriches3 жыл бұрын
I was the 223 rd person to like this and I feel so bad for ruining that perfect 222
@joyflameball3 жыл бұрын
@Lokirye Your English is great!
@Sammy-yf2sb3 жыл бұрын
Im 10 and a non native english Speaker :-) Is my english good ?
@katiemolloy90734 жыл бұрын
Every young woman is another mans future wife *stares in lesbian*
@elizabethsmith72244 жыл бұрын
Confused Bi noises
@banjomango1454 жыл бұрын
[gay silence]
@pookydookyneo40114 жыл бұрын
Bamboozled asexual noises
@rubybaker14664 жыл бұрын
my face: 👁👄👁
@louie54714 жыл бұрын
Cries in gay man
@gadoneus4 жыл бұрын
So if this mom believes Harry Potter would turn her children into witch, then if she gave her children IKEA instructions, would they turn into chairs?
@MrsMoonify4 жыл бұрын
But at least chairs aren't the spawn of Satan 😆
@kane20564 жыл бұрын
@@MrsMoonify they are far worse than that. Satan is like a little five year old bully compaired to a chair. Chairs are the very definition of evil.
@aisforanimate47034 жыл бұрын
@@kane2056 How dare you invoke the name of the greatest demon! Begone evil
@svartrbrisingr61414 жыл бұрын
SHHHHHHH!!!!!! don't tell them the secret of IKEA instructions!!
@cayreet59924 жыл бұрын
Have you seen IKEA instruction? Those kids would turn into everything but chairs.
@sarcardinal2 жыл бұрын
this fanfic made me cry into MY oatmeal
@blake4144 Жыл бұрын
mood.
@Ser_Salty4 жыл бұрын
"Hermione calls Dumbledore 'Daddy'" Yeah, probably not the only fan fiction that sentence applies to
@מעין-צ9ג4 жыл бұрын
Wattpad entered the chat
@starboy_77244 жыл бұрын
Gawd NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
@DocBree134 жыл бұрын
Ser_Salty lmao!
@epsilon-eleven4 жыл бұрын
That's basically 30% of all Harry Potter fanfic summed up in four words. Another 30% is Harry & Snape, and the rest is and Snape/Malfoy/both.
@rowan20864 жыл бұрын
Star Synthetik *cough* my immortal *cough*
@ellam11214 жыл бұрын
Harry Potter and the Poorly-Disguised Cult
@20dabarr584 жыл бұрын
Harry Potter and the Poorly-Disguised Homoerotic Subtext
@oliviap.13704 жыл бұрын
This K I L L E D me
@harleehall20324 жыл бұрын
I can't breath send help. I am laughing too hard
@beee12874 жыл бұрын
HAHAHAHA
@beee12874 жыл бұрын
@@20dabarr58 noooooOijijIJIkiKOiioNIUBiuj
@a.m.h.a.97604 жыл бұрын
Even as a straight girl, the line "every young woman is another man's future wife" doesn't sit right on me Edit 3 years later: I am in fact not straight and am not a girl 😭
@svartrbrisingr61414 жыл бұрын
Does anything about that rewrite sit right?
@a.m.h.a.97604 жыл бұрын
@@svartrbrisingr6141 now I've regrown my brain cells that I had lost from this. no, no it doesn't
@samuelhomberg90754 жыл бұрын
Even as a man I can't really wrap my head around the thought, that people like this really exist...
@dreamcanvas53214 жыл бұрын
I was raised with religion but atheist now, and I can tell you that it's really, really disheartening how many women I knew who deeply internalized that pseudo-equality. It's literally gaslighting "we believe women are equal but different to men, which is why men get to make the decisions and women get to make the food!" There's varying degrees and extremes depending on subgroup but it's still horribly dehumanizing.
@tealablu37594 жыл бұрын
I’m straight and Christian and female, and I was like wut 🤣🤣 no one has ever told me my purpose in life is to be some guy’s wife. Ever.
@SeikaChroma Жыл бұрын
You sounded like you're about to cry while reading us this, and understandably so. I don't know whether it's from joy, cringe, or pain, but the feeling is there 😂😂😂 this rewritten tale is WILD.
@arlaratman8624 жыл бұрын
Petunia:”Harry, do you want a second birthday?” Harry: (knowing the bible despite not knowing what it was)”oh, haven’t you heard?”
@RoguSpanish4 жыл бұрын
Imagine a kid going from never having heard of christians, to converting to christianity, to lecturing you on what is and isn't christian within the course of like 5 minutes. "Brainwashing" isn't a strong enough term for that shit.
@Jess.Anderson4 жыл бұрын
When harry became Christian the Bible was miraculously downloaded into his brain... Because its called "school of prayers and *miracles* "
@emiliew55534 жыл бұрын
and also as a person who was raised christian, i have had so many fucking birthdays my dudes. i'm not christian anymore, that's probably why i suddenly woke up one morning with the memories of many birthdays in my brain.
@midgematic86594 жыл бұрын
Very true, after all, we are just ants compared to the beautiful birth of Jesus Christ, our birthdays are merely days that we should spend on praying to our Father. There is no such thing as celebrating our children’s lives when we could be using that time to celebrate the second coming of our Savior. /s
@leof202024 жыл бұрын
I knew I had to upvote this comment when I saw your name
@katiecurry80964 жыл бұрын
I love how Harry’s Aunt and Uncle in this version are actually better guardians to him than in the original 😂😂😂
@SnakeMan4484 жыл бұрын
Certain people who believe that the far and away top means being a good person is to have faith in their god and be in the "right" religion depict "worldly" people as going through the motions of doing good things, but it's empty gestures. These certain people tend to be all 'fuck you, got mine', and end up making others look good by comparison.
@den23354 жыл бұрын
Snake Man448 exhibit A: the alt right who support a man who has had multiple wives and has cheated on all of them, raped one of his wives and beat her, has stolen from people through fake charities and universities, has stolen from the government by lying on his taxes, and has divided the country more than ever. But he’s a “good Christian man.” Yeah ok.
@misanthropicservitorofmars21164 жыл бұрын
Den the Alt Right are not very religious, they are only lightly religious. Most focus on nation and family.
@goldminer7544 жыл бұрын
@@misanthropicservitorofmars2116 Well but their arguments are pretty often based around Christian ethics or atleast "Judeo-Christian Values"
@misanthropicservitorofmars21164 жыл бұрын
Skyler Keck true, my contention was that you have to go to your local communities to find true religion. That’s what it’s all about, being with those around you and sharing in cultural values. Plus the “alt right” seems rather nebulous at this point. I think most people need to examine what’s really going on with other people.
@torcoolguy Жыл бұрын
I dunno why, but "Reverend Albus Dumbledore" hit with way more psychic damage than I would expect.
@redactedredacted68564 жыл бұрын
The (un)holy trinity: science, socialism and birthdays
@trol_88894 жыл бұрын
Based
@squigg71074 жыл бұрын
Sounds like a party
@gondorsfinest57744 жыл бұрын
you should make merch that says ‘science & socialism & birthdays’
@zaryellllyyy4 жыл бұрын
Oh man I sure do love glee
@wuschelkopf55834 жыл бұрын
Birthdays? We LOOOOOOOVE Birthdays
@gracem41854 жыл бұрын
if someone referred to me as “some mans futur wife” i’d throw up.
@idkwutimdoingsoyeh7024 жыл бұрын
Grace M i’d try to break their nose honestly
@shannon510butno.34 жыл бұрын
Antifa, but all feminists Sounds good ngl.
@abrianpeak954 жыл бұрын
I think Emma Watson would have something to say about this
@AntediluvianRomance4 жыл бұрын
Buuuut... don't throw up too hard, you have to take care of yourself for your future babies! 😸
@simongiles97494 жыл бұрын
On them, I hope. Pea soup projectile vomit, Exorcist style.
@callumroark63404 жыл бұрын
This sounds like a fanfiction 12 year old Christian me would have written. Edit: sorry, i suck at grammar lmao
@lilywest95524 жыл бұрын
Callum Furner would have*
@Leeontherecord4 жыл бұрын
same hahah
@sarahstevens49314 жыл бұрын
I’m a 12 year old Christian... I wouldn’t write this I love HP way too much
@icedmatchalatte._.4 жыл бұрын
written*
@rice12984 жыл бұрын
Philippe Soublière I think both ways are correct? I’m sincerely sorry if I’m wrong. It’s just tenses, but since they are currently twelve, “write” would also be adequate.
@knockoutnorko75003 жыл бұрын
With all seriousness ,,You’re a Christian Harry.” sounds absolutely hilarious.
@zakosist Жыл бұрын
A lot like those AI generated memes we have now
@a.vangarde51164 жыл бұрын
So "Mr. Snape" was wearing a suit and tie but Harry could still see his chest hair? So I guess he wasn't wearing a shirt? Is Mr. Snape a Christian stripper?
@danielcastillo5914 жыл бұрын
Excuse me, they prefer the term "Stripstians"
@AriVirtual4 жыл бұрын
Lmao I love how you got there. Is that his big secret??!?!?! Also the mental image wont leave me so thx for fun fun dreams tonight 😙
@skitariiranger43464 жыл бұрын
You know what. I am a okay with that
@skitariiranger43464 жыл бұрын
@@AriVirtual same
@safehouse4324 жыл бұрын
I'm assuming 50 shades of grey is her secret pleasure.
@KurKiriKuru4 жыл бұрын
My Evangelical parents and "church family" talked about the Harry Potter books in such a way when they came out that made me believe they were actual spell books written by an old wizard named Harry Potter. I'm a Ravenclaw now.
@sak-86793 жыл бұрын
LMAO- I HURT MY BACK FUC-
@oneflamingpotato79653 жыл бұрын
@@sak-8679 Oh shit, you good man
@lilysiandaza42963 жыл бұрын
Me too! Fellow Ravenclaw ;)
@jessicajennings91483 жыл бұрын
Sometimes I felt like my parents were the only Christians that let their kids read Harry Potter.
@luuuuux_3 жыл бұрын
Hey! A fellow Ravenclaw!
@jeybox4 жыл бұрын
"Every young woman is another man's future wife" *Gay silence*
@InquisitorThomas4 жыл бұрын
Johanna Schmid Straight people that aren’t interested in getting married: *Silence*
@lleafaell4 жыл бұрын
@@silverschmid4591 wait why transgender silence??
@damkylan34 жыл бұрын
@@lleafaell Because some young women will figure out their identity later in life and will not be wives to anybody at that point, but husbands. I guess? Maybe. Even if that wasn't the intent, it still fits.
@spaceorc13974 жыл бұрын
Yeah no
@Doomzdeh Жыл бұрын
I can forgive this purely because Uncle Vernon would despise his depiction in this, and I can just picture him raging and throwing crap around the house after hearing about it lmao
@squidcultist00224 жыл бұрын
The sad part is how blurry the line is between satire and actual Christian writing.
@alexsquid85604 жыл бұрын
SquidCultist0 02 Sad? Or laughable? 🤔🤭 Considering that there is concrete evidence - literally, a stone slab - stating that Christianity is basically entirely satirical and a means to gain money from people who go to church... I’d say that it’s fitting to have some blur. Lol
@sparklingwater80474 жыл бұрын
Lol i'm christian and i think this comment is very true lol😂
@nightfuryyassamaru16834 жыл бұрын
@@alexsquid8560 Can you point me towards that evidence please? I need to see this with my own two eyes, this is too good to not check out.
@CletusCorpse-Raiser4 жыл бұрын
What about Islam where the prophet is a paedophile? Blowing up music concerts, sending death threats if someone makes fun of them, throwing acid at women for regretting them or marrying who they want...Clearly the Christians are the bad ones.
@kukky294 жыл бұрын
@@CletusCorpse-Raiser all religions have equal levels of credibility i.e. none. None of them show any substantial evidence to be true. You can be christian but you dont need to put down other religions
@perciusmandate4 жыл бұрын
Book: "Every young woman is another man's future wife." Me, still alone: Shakes crucifix to see if it's on.
@blueshell2923 жыл бұрын
I'm legit pissing myself here, "shakes crucifix to see if it’s on" is a phrase that deserves to be mentioned in humanity's end credits
@cosmic_leif3 жыл бұрын
Oh god oh as a Christian no now I hope God makes end credits lmao
@biscuitchomper10273 жыл бұрын
Me, an asexual: *quietly chuckles* I'm in danger
@addisonivyy3 жыл бұрын
Me, a lesbian: *disappears*
@reynarudydharsono6033 жыл бұрын
Me, a supposed Aroace: Even the *church* ain't safe