My life with Asperger's: Daniel Wendler at TEDxUniversityofArizona

[@adambrawer1087]

He really used his Asperger's to his advantage. This is a great outlook on life and I really admire his journey and determination.

[@elia.0713]

Adam Brawer he's the best

[@AFEWDimensions]

I want to be Daniel's friend. I am an Asperger's adult and this is the single most helpful video I have seen in an entire life of hell. Thank you Daniel for giving me a single ray of hope in my totally dark universe.

[@davidarcudi230]

@@CNI2063 you don't understand how hard that is for us

[@PI4YOU]

@@davidarcudi230 I do understand your fear. Face it and it will evaporate. Think of it as taking bites of a sandwich. Small victories lead to successes. I'm in your club and have been for years without a diagnosis until I was 68.

[@krish.5823]

It's still dark though, for me. I get thrown to the curb at every turn.

[@krish.5823]

@@davidarcudi230 your right, they are phony realist.

[@PI4YOU]

@@krish.5823 "thrown to the curb " You survived it though, that's success. Albeit small. Conquering your inner fear is the single hardest thing you will ever do. I want to say I know because I did it. My life was pretty amazing, the fear doesn't go away but it does become manageable and at times it can be your best friend. Tomorrows my b-day for #71, I was diagnosed 2.5 years ago. I was blessed to have guidance in my 20's to teach me to face fear and overcome it. I am grateful for that lesson. Life is too short to sit and worry about what might happen if? So what if it does, failure is how we learn. Go live and be happy.

[@thefreelich4875]

As an individual with Asperger's, I can certainly affirm his testimony. Between kindergarten and fifth grade, I had very few friends, and many of the few friends I did have didn't treat me well. I would excel in school, especially in math (although later I began to excel in English and history slightly more) but my lack of social competence lead to me being mocked and insulted by others. It raged on to the point where, even before I was formally diagnosed, needed emotional support to deal with all of the bullying I received. After I was formally diagnosed, I began to improve with my social interactions. Right now I'm between seventh and eighth grade. I have a sufficient amount of friends, all of whom treat me well, and excel just as much as ever, being one of the top students in my English, history, and math classes. I am far happier than I was in 2014, and while I still feel insecure a lot, things are so much better than I was even 3 years ago.

[@crabypattytwice]

How exactly did you improve your social skills to get to where you we're in 7th 8th grade?

[@Salakert]

It felt like so much is so obvious but not to others. Vice versa too with pop culture. I knew i had something until i found out if was aspy. Id reached autism burnout.

[@southlondon86]

An absolutely beautiful speech. He should be very proud of himself for his transformation. I wish him all the best and thank him for what he has offered here. Just brilliant.

[@southlondon86]

+David J I was referring to his transformation in social skills.

[@1967davidfitness]

There is no transformation needed, social skills are always very difficult for those with Autism.

[@eoinMB3949]

Agreed, Amazing transformation. Just shows whats possible if you are determined to make a better life for yourself.

[@1967davidfitness]

No transformation, he clearly struggles, but so does everyone with Autism.

[@eoinMB3949]

+David J But he clearly has transformed. I mean if you yourself havent undergone a transformation then Im sorry thats your experience. But your experience is not another persons experience and anything is possible. I say fair play to the guy, he worked and was determined and made his life better.

[@glenistergrotj3022]

I’m 16 and I was diagnosed with aspergers at the age of 3. I have had challenges growing up and still now as I continue to grow. Hearing this guy use aspergers to his advantage is really inspiring.

[@Gymboify]

I'm 21 and have just been diagnosed with Asperger's. My main thoughts have revolved around the question "what now?" This video has given my great insight as to where i need to start working - thank you :)

[@kerry-annevanrooyen5686]

I was diagnosed with Asperger's last year at the age of 20... I had spent my whole life confused at my abilities and why people didn't seem to like me. This video is something that I find quite useful. xx

[@ylchan8942]

He somehow speaks from my heart & make me feel I'm not alone who find to make friends so difficult

[@1967davidfitness]

20 is young, i was 43.

[@kerry-annevanrooyen5686]

My father was also old when he discovered it...he was nearly 50

[@1967davidfitness]

Old? Hey do't call people old when they are only 40 something!

[@kerry-annevanrooyen5686]

Don't take offence!!! I didn't mean it like that! It's just in reference to me who is only 21! No need to get snappy! In 20 years I'll be there too!

[@emexdizzy]

1:53 I remember photos from my childhood just like this. Weird clothes. Awkward pose. Forced smile. I had to learn how to take a pretty picture so I wasn't always the lone dork in the frame. I guess that's just how Asperger's is. Stuff that's second nature for other people aspies have to learn by effort and practice. But if you do it enough, you learn it eventually. And maybe you come to value the skills more because you worked hard for them.

[@TheMilwaukeeProtocol]

+Siara Hughes Thank you for sharing. I can relate. In fact, I had a parent who didn't understand anything about Asperger's and therefore thought I was being a dork and antisocial and ruining photos (and other social things) on purpose, and eventually succeeded in convincing me that I was doing it on purpose and thus I believed I was a difficult, mean, contrary, nasty person because I was doing something (although I wasn't sure what) on purpose. All I knew is that suddenly I would get a very violent, negative response from my parent to some of my actions, and I felt I was to blame, even though my head would spin and I'd be shocked and confused. The reality is, I like people, and would like to make positive social connections. But I still have some PTSD from this honest misunderstanding that I carried with me even to grad school, which really messed up my ability to do well in grad school.

[@felipegonzalez29]

I'm asperger. Sometimes is hard deal with it. When people know what asperger's is about, they say it's cool, it's funny... But they don't know how really is to live with it. Despite of you want to fit, you can't. When you understand this world is about relationships you feel so bad, because trying to fit you become awkward or you behaviour can annoy others. Thank you for this video.

[@fraternie2320]

yes people say fake it till you make it will work, when actually everytime i tried it seems that my faking annoys people and people notice im a terrible faker

[@coreycox2345]

:) I'm the one in the tie dye. Thank you for this. I am 61 and have only realized that I have this lately. I always thought I was "shy" as a child, that that was not quite it. This is so relatable. I love the part about how you found your closest friends.

[@karitoney6879]

Thank you Dan. This is my 10 year old son SO much. The school stuff breaks my heart and I need to tell you: your sharing this helps so many people more than you know.

[@hanna-mn8yb]

That happened in my school once. An autistic kid sat at my friends table. Every single person went to the other table and I was the only one who stayed. I remember being so pissed off and most likely being judged by my peers. He was really nice so I had a good time with him during lunch :)

[@oddball3264]

People who are assholes towards you are not real friends

[@dreamt_off]

Warmed my heart to read this. I'm glad to have found friends that have a sense of empathy and community, made healing from dealing with not-so-great people much easier.

[@tom1880]

UK Aspie here. i came from the ImproveYourSocial skills website after looking for some learning material out there. I know Daniel may not read this but, if you do, I must say your use of metaphors and your tone of voice in your talk was exceptional. You're someone I can aspire to be. Good job Daniel.

[@pamelawilliams1302]

As an Aspy, I became a wonderful actress, who could play many rolls. Not in Hollywood but in my day to day life. I was called many things, a day dreamer, a loner, an introvert, a watcher and anti social.

[@iLOVEpicklesBRO28]

Bless this. This really explained my journey with my diagnosis

[@VtRD]

It is an incredible talk, isn't it? We are all "different" in some respect. The fact that elementary school kids were so harsh is really sad to me.

[@laylarashid334]

I hope you are doing better now.

[@kathyreed5866]

Thank you thank you thank you. I laughed and I cried. My beautiful four and a half year old has Aspergers. She is a shining light, full of joy and wisdom beyond her years. Yet I already see her social struggles. Yes, even four year olds can be mean, and discriminatory, and shun "awkward"peers. It breaks my heart. Your talk has given me so much hope for her future. Thank you.

[@PolyFez]

I felt exactly as what he feels. As an 18-year-old person with Asperger's, growing up, being in elementary, and middle school was very hard for me. People would become mad at me for something that I would have no idea why, but I know it had something of my actions in socializing with them. I'll get to a point to where in lunch, I would sit with people, and they'll get up, and leave. By the time high school came in, I needed to change. So I started reading books on body language and socializing. After for some time, I started knowing when people would get uncomfortable, and knowing when they comfort me when I talk to them. By the end of high school, I now have many friends that I now understand their ways, and how I socialize with others. I may still have a few awarded moments here, and there, but at least I now know how to talk to people, and have a well-developed conversation, and manage to keep those friends close to me..

[@KozmoCSS]

ablg234 i see myself as that guy haha, everytime i feel like i said something wrong i overanalyze it and say im sorry and blablabla, when in reality theres actually nothing to worry about, i absolutely hate it because it puts me and my friend in an awkward position thats hard to get out of and cotinue the conversation.

[@ionamonk7102]

HI Polyfez, thank you. What books were the most helpful ones for you to read? I would love some help! Thanks!

[@MatthewBottomleyisaliveandwell]

A friend shared this with me. I couldn't help but think how much easier life would be for everyone if we all learnt 'social' skills this way as children, instead of having to fumble our way around it and pick it up as we went along. If I'd studied this in school in my early life I can imagine how it would have spared me the worst of those awkward experiences I think we've all faced as we grow up. Here's to you Daniel, well done, you've taught someone apparently born with social skills some new ones.

[@suemitchel-runow3566]

That would be great..instead of sit down, be quite, look down at your paper and do the work...It was torture not to mention socially retarding.

[@Hon_cb1kr]

Overcoming adversity and being humble many people failed that test in life. Daniel you are inspirational to me, makes me want to try harder. Thank You sincerely.

[@kristinaavis9756]

I absolutely love this video! My son is 13 and was diagnosed with Aspergers. He considers himself awkward but in a positive way. He gets picked on a lot in school. There are days I wish I could call every single parent and explain to them that every child is different. And being different doesn't make you a bad person. I can not wait to show this video to my son. THANK YOU

[@Sammyaki]

I was just diagnosed with Aspergers. This speech helps so much. So much fits into my life. And his Ideas help too. Greetings from Germany

[@MelissaRae1975]

This was an amazing TED talk. Thank you so much for sharing

[@ronaldasilverberg9251]

I am impressed with your kindness ,compassion, and concern for others, as well as your ability to be genuine. You communicate clearly, with wisdom and humor, and I enjoyed listening. You are like a breath of fresh air in a world where encouragement is so greatly needed. I thank The Lord for you ... You are Awesome!!! Lord bless you!

[@tonyhernandezpumarejo]

Daniel, thank you so much for your message. I am diagnosed with Asperger's and my greatest challenge has been the way I deal with people. Even though , I have worked customer service and sales jobs , where it social skills are mandatory and being able to graduate from college, I have believed in me that if I would have been more effective relationship builder with people, I would have achieved my main goal of financial freedom. Your story is very inspirational to me. Thanks again.

[@owengraziano7288]

I'm an adult with Aspergers who spent his entire life in special needs schools, and this video really spoke to me.

[@carolshepherd6811]

I found this young man to be delightful to listen to his story. I am so happy that he had wonderful parents and that he is helping others to learn and grow. Bless you Dan and thank you for sharing your history.

[@Berrycutieful]

I can relate to him as I had the same troubles when growing up. It's taken a long time to "learn" how to relate to people.

[@Gharib222-lft]

My Son and brother have similar Characteristics, this video has given me motivation to support them to be their best , to embrace challenges and turn them in to opportunities , to grow through life rather than go through it, to thrive and not just survive. Thanks Daniel may Allah bless you abundantly my friend.

[@alesakura12]

My boyfriend is an Asperger's. This video was really helpful for me to understand him, I love him with all my heart. I think to be an Aspie is a blessing because you are incredibly unique. You develop patience and self-restraint that strengthen you and also be constantly mindful of others. Don't worry about people's expectations. Worry about the people that really love you. Big hug, great speech!

[@bethesdagamer7971]

That was by far one of the best motivational speeches I've listened to

[@sanguinerus8964]

I truly wish that I had the help that this guy had. I was blatantly obvious that I had trouble as i was growing up but I wasn't diagnosed with Asperger's until i was 25. I had to do a lot of learning on my own and even now I'm really struggling. I've been trying to improve my social skill a lot more lately but it has been a challenge my entire life and no one really gives a shit. This guy is quite lucky to have the people he has in his life. When you don't have help, the story he tells of himself at seven years old doesn't go away ever.

[@Nognamogo]

This was beautiful... I struggled as a child too, and this year (senior year high school) I spent the entire year trying to improve my social skills... It's been tough but the people I reached out to, especially the ones who really needed me became the people I really needed. Thanks Dan.

[@Anjuli50]

This is so much my 15 year old -- and he's splendid! His Asperger's seemed to kick in when he was about 11 or 12 -- he showed no such signs at a younger age. It's rough...but it's worth it. We love him SO MUCH!

[@moodybassist]

It's so important that people tell their story, I'm alone, I don't have anyone to talk to about my aspie struggles. Thank you ❤️

[@brendaehlers1612]

Thank you Daniel! I am a mother of an 8 year old boy who has Aspergers. My husband and I started homeschooling him at the end of 1st grade. We are considering enrolling him back in to public school. You give me hope!

[@Spaztique]

Dan and I are improvisers, and I once got to talk to Dan when I was going through some rough times, trying to figure out social skills and such (I've never been diagnosed with Asperger's or anything, but I was horribly lonely and socially dead). At the time, I was a bit down on myself and considered him lucky when we talked, but I was wrong and he was right: social skills can be learned, honed, and mastered, and the rewards are beyond measure. If *we* can make that journey, so can *you.*

[@skyisnotblueskyisblue2302]

Daniel is such an inspiration ! he went from embarking on something seemingly impossible to changing his life ! he really makes me feel proud of him

[@Bbenja4]

This is really encouraging. I've been a depressed reclusive Aspie all my life and this really gives me hope.

[@kemartini]

This makes me happy, my son has Aspergers and I pray that he fits in somewhere.

[@larnaification]

This speech was incredibly empowering by Daniel. I'm a Disability ambassador for the Living Life My Way program and this truly inspired me and touched a place in my heart.

[@sinfuls7777]

Thank you so much for this talk. I married a man with asperger's and until I found out what that was our marriage went from crazy to wonderfully better because i now understand where he's coming from and he works to see where I'm coming from now.Thank you for sharing your story for others to hear.

[@JackHY2K]

Great video! I can totally relate to you Daniel. I was diagnosed with Aspergers at 15. Throughout Elementary, Middle, and high school I have been constantly shunned and bullied by my fellow peers. Every time I try to be nice to them, their attitudes backfire. I am now a college student and have noticeably improved my social skills. Students here seem to be somewhat more open-minded on average. I attended a Social Skills club called' PEERS', which originated at UCLA. I met a cute girl from my Supply Chain Management class (3rd semester) who has Aspergers. Like me, she's mostly quiet during lectures. She rarely strikes convos with others. Whenever she does talk to others, she sounds a bit monotone and quiet and often has difficulty ending convos (she either just walks away or says 'take care' abruptly). Her facial expression tends to be plain unless she's around me. She has hardly any friends and sometimes (unintentionally) comes off as blunt. Despite these traits, I find her extremely fascinating. I really hope I get to see her again. I'd love to exchange numbers with her, grab lunch, and study with her (she has the same major as me). Let's hope for the best.

[@JackHY2K]

Update: She's most likely still at my college as her name hasn't appeared on the graduation list for General Business students. But I have yet to see her. She's the only girl I feel very comfortable with. Hope I see her again soon.

[@JackHY2K]

***** sure I'll do that if I see them again. Haters are gonna hate. I shouldn't feel suicidal.

[@JackHY2K]

+Bob The Monster Today at customer service class, I spoke to my classmates about Asperger's. Some remained narrow-minded and cliquey (these people deserve to die), but most seemed understanding. I look forward to those questions regarding Asperger's from my fellow classmates. Classic Autism gets enough awareness, but not Asperger's. Many people think Aspergians are just introverted assholes. I see it as my duty to change the general view of Asperger's at my college and (hopefully) around the US and Canada.

[@JackHY2K]

+Bob The Monster They shouldn't have gotten rid of the Asperger's diagnosis. I don't think it's fair for me to be lumped with more severe autists. It's detrimental for us Aspergians. This is partly why I would like to increase awareness of Asperger's.

[@JackHY2K]

Life has been better for me overall. I am being shunned much less than I used to. I am also a more confident person. Daniel Wendler's Ted Talk is a masterpiece! I'm so glad I shared it with my profs and classmates. Let's hope my life will continue to improve as time passes!

[@kamileishon]

My doctor is considering the possibility that I have mild Aspergers syndrom and Im actually excited by that. Then finally I might find a valid reason for why I am like I am. A little light has opened in the dark depressed cloud that I have been living in for the past year. And I think I inherited this quality, this syndrome from my dear father. The rambler. Who sometimes insist on telling a person he just met his entire life story cause he gets excited and wants to get it out of the way. He wants them to know who he is (good and bad) so they can be ok with him and his weirdness and they can then build the relationship from that. In a way its an admirable trait but at the same time I cannot count the many times Ive seen exhausted people stand there nodding wondering when they can exit the conversation without being impolite. Thank god we can learn from example and observation what NOT to do!

[@Ammut6]

kamileishon I tend to do that in my relationships with women. Have them moved in and know my whole story in a short amount of time so we can "skip" that beginning stage and start making a life together. I was always nervous and thought it was a bad thing to do but I realize that it's good.

[@qtothea9391]

kamileishon No, research the MBTI, and get your type and you'll understand why you are the way you are, MBTI is truth. Aspergers was eliminated in 2012 after only 18 years, characteristic traits that correlate with your natural MBTI type is the reason you are the way you are.

[@alydiaforten5011]

+kamileishon I can relate to that excitement when I found out that being an introvert is normal and a thing!

[@hidinginmyroom2656]

you may not have Aspergers syndrome if you have only developed these symptoms in the last year.do you suffer from severe anxiety if so you probably are on the spectrum,i hope you get help ...

[@thecynicalone7655]

kamileishon, are you me from the future? Cause this sounds exactly like me (minus the life story thing with your dad)

[@FireBerlin]

That was beautiful. I got choked up when Daniel likened a kid with Aperger's learning social skills and then making friends to a child with terrible vision who receives glasses and then gets taken to the Louvre.

[@AylaMarianna]

Ohh, so THAT'S what he said. I was scrolling to find a comment regarding it, 'cause I heard "taken to the loo" and I was like: "lolwat. So the kid can-finally-see its own... body waste?" I was so confused! I just couldn't conceive that he would actually say something like that, so thank you.

[@TCE1123]

We don't lack social skills; we have a *different set* of social skills from NTs, due to thinking differently than them. What is seen as a "social skill" to an NT is due to their assumption that everyone thinks like them, has motives similar to their own, and is being read accurately by them.

[@krish.5823]

It's do to results if rejection.

[@RodMigz08]

This is especially true since when Aspies communicate with other Aspies it is way more effective then an Aspie communicating with an NT. Its also easier for people with Aspergers to socialize with other Neurodivergent people (like ADHD, SLDs, MDs, CDs, NVLD and even other forms of ASDs) since we share the same struggles (sometimes symptoms) in society and can relate alot with eachother.

[@PvtParts-co4cg]

The most inspirational Aspie disclosure I’ve ever been blessed to enjoy. Dan, I truly resonate, as a fellow, and admire your tenacity to accept, adapt and overcome!

[@meharmira]

I was just told by a few people (my doc and my close brilliant friend) that I should look into Asperger’s because I was struggling socially with a lot of things but I couldn’t understand if I had moral issues or social anxiety. But this helps me understand I can be me and not think I have moral issues.

[@Managamasplymiad]

This young man is incredible! I hope my son with Aspergers will do as well someday!

[@PhysicsNomad01]

Best TEDx talk I have ever heard. I was going to read this guy's book so thought first of listening him speak. Now, I can't stop rushing to read it.

[@seankelly6620]

I was diagnosed with Asperger's when I was 12, and a lot of he is talking about resonates with me as I have done through a lot of similar experiences as well

[@h3arty]

It's great when people, no matter their struggle, strive to improve and grow and be the best they can be despite their circumstances. Love this talk.

[@MiyahSundermeyer]

I was 21 before I learned social skills when I moved in with my aunt because I wasn't aware of them until she started showing me on a visual level. Now, what I like about this young man is because it gives adults a chance to learn without going to spend thousands of dollars on therapy.

[@HarmonicaMustang]

Throughout my entire life, I've carried this feeling of "I don't belong here" whenever I was in a social space; restaurants, pubs, concerts, weddings, tourist attractions etc. A friend recently told me that he sees quite a few Aspee traits in my behaviour, and reading up about it I found that he's right. Most people (including friends) have given up on hanging out with me, and only get in touch when there's work to do. I found that to be a happy equilibrium as I get to go out, but because I have a purpose for being there I don't feel rejected.

[@camuscat123]

His friendship would be priceless.

[@bmth070995]

This made me feel so good, would love to be friends with Daniel, I’m 27 yrs old and just figured out I struggled with this all along. Spent my whole childhood fighting with my mother, being rejected by everyone in school, losing friends because i could never fit in.

[@AdeleidaBingham]

Oh Daniel, what a superb talk! Big knot in my throat at the end. Thank you for your advocacy. Inspiring, valuable and deeply human.

[@edhooper1421]

Thanks for sharing your story with the rest of the world Daniel. It took me roughly 30 years to finally have that epiphany that I too was different - however - I can learn to adapt with the right training, reading and thearpy as well lol. I hope one day too I can share my experiences to help others who might be on the spectrum to better understand who they are as well.

[@PGSL-r5n]

I have Asperger's and did not fit in well with all whats mentioned in this presentation. The more I tried, the more missable I became. Even today, having set up my two businesses, I'm still seen as odd, and struggling with building a client base. I feel drained, overwhelmed and battled hardened. Society is very difficult on us and is getting harder by the day.

[@kelleybondurant2174]

OMG you are me I can totally relate! I am 52 yrs old and I always feel this way! Thank you for giving me hope to overcome my akwardness!

[@kelleybondurant2174]

This made me cry. I can relate so much. I only wish that I could do the same.

[@goldendragon68]

I just want to say, as a struggling teen with Asperger's, I found this very inspirational and motivating. Thank you! :)

[@bellagarcia3876]

Daniel just seems like the sweetest guy.

[@JeannineIsaksen]

I'm an Aspie too. But my deal is... I don't actually want to be talked to. I enjoy being by myself. It doesn't mean I don't want to make Friends ever. I have a fair share of friends. But they didn't become my Friends because they felt I looked so alone and they wanted to keep me company. It just happened naturally. Very often it was in the end actually me coming out of my shell because I observed them and felt comfortable with them. I understand that trying to be nice to someone by just talking to them is an act of kindness and most people need exactly this. But for me it can be very stressful and it sometimes pushes my boundaries. What helps me more is if I can be allowed to cling into a group where I can observe people and share my thoughts bit by bit, gaining trust as I see people don't react negatively to my presence and I feel comfortable enough to stay and go whenever I want.

[@markbillman6295]

I am 48 years old and just found out that I have asperger's only as of 3 months ago. I realized at an early age that I was different in the way of relating to the human experience in general. Although I have mastered emulating the social human communication methods over many years. Mastered so well that I understand human thinking very well and have been able to help many people in my life with their psychological issues. After finding that I have this condition, the last 3 months of my life have been the best I have ever felt about myself.

[@aletavashford]

Thank you for helping me to better understand my son. Truly inspiring.

[@themovingdance2744]

My brother is a aspie …he s genius and very kind. ❤

[@themovingdance2744]

My brother was bullied at school and so really picked on for being small, intelligent, nerdy and different, but now he’s got a top scientist’s job in cancer centric patterning using clinical trials in the USA and has a really good life which he always thought he would!

[@themovingdance2744]

Give me an aspie Student any day over an every day person because they do the work, they apply themselves, and they just need guidance on how to express themselves in a way that approachable for them, rather than ableist types telling them how they should be

[@sumguy8460]

At 8:45 ... That gives me so much hope.

[@caseyc408]

+nick Lombardi I "figured it out" also. I'm still super awkward but I can turn it on and off and I am able to maintain a professional job that I excel at.

[@1967davidfitness]

You cannot turn Autism on and off. It's the main part of who you are, it is what makes you tick at a slightly different rhythm. What you really mean is you try to act like neuro-typicals because you have not informed those around you of your Autism diagnosis. You burn yourself out, and have not make the correct adaptations for your condition.

[@Talleyhoooo]

I just got diagnosed, and this talk brought me to tears.. Thanks so much for sharing this.

[@juliebrooks8792]

Let's all teach our children to reach out to and include the children who are sitting alone during lunch. It would change a life.

[@torimoon3191]

Thank you so much for delivering this speech. You have no idea what it means for my little brother, who has Asperger's and is currently in middle school and feels like *every single person there* hates him.

[@TonyG-iu4td]

Well done to this guy and thanks for sharing this information with us. This will help a lot of people with the Asperger syndrome

[@garyg6000]

WOW !! Terrific talk. Brings back so many memories.

[@sunsunmoomoo9508]

it annoys me so much that the audio is shit for such a good speech

[@JackHY2K]

Yeah, the audio quality is not the best. But if you turn up the volume a bit it should be fine.

[@emmasol3058]

Irk!! He's such a brilliant talker. He should have been on one of those huge TED talk stages, not in a shitty location with a microphone that picks up that lady in the corner's coughing better than his voice

[@mgw9562]

Sunsun Moo Moo ya the coughing lady is soo irritating!

[@PI4YOU]

@@emmasol3058 the lady who coughed, was filming the talk. Thank her for the awesome video you saw. She had to cough please excuse her.

[@virginiamoss7045]

@@PI4YOU - If she was the one filming, she should know enough to have turned away from the microphone and/or covered her mouth. I wonder if the loud coughing could be excised from this recording with some kind of technology. It would definitely be worth doing as this talk is just excellent. At least it got recorded and got put on KZbin.

[@MiyahSundermeyer]

I had the privilege to meet Daniel during an autism conference last week and it just so happens that I have a series of vlogs on youtube on living with aspergers syndrome myself. I happened to get an interview with him.

[@GizmoMaltese]

Wow, this guy is amazing. What a transformation. I would love to be his friend.

[@hudder92]

+GizmoMaltese would you be his friend before he changed though? :P

[@emmyv5679]

❤ My 10 year old Aspie will be in awe of you. I know this video is old, but thank you.

[@zeLilacLady]

Ahh I've actually used this guys site before, and it's really handy! Like him, realising that I'd never been able to gage social behaviours and didn't know how to have conversations (the sandwich analogy is a fantastic strategy, and I also use the conversation threading strategy too), I wondered how I would ever fit in or cope with the life around me and had been rather depressed and questioning my place and 'use' in life. So I tried just teaching myself these skills from scratch, starting with the youtube audiobook of 'How to win friends and influence people', (un)tactfully suggested to me to a co-worker and leading on to self help sites like Daniel Wendlers'. This was a nice surprise to see that it's that website author in this talk and he has AS. I found the last two minutes really beautiful and particularly touching. I've just started the process of getting a professional diagnosis and I'm 23.

[@omgstoptakingnames]

thanks for the book and his website. i have the exact social problems as you guys do so i will be looking into these sources.

[@Ammut6]

Lambo How's the diagnosis coming along?

[@jasonmccool4342]

You are an excellent public speaker, Daniel. Keep up the great work!

[@ava1421]

Thank you!! You're amazing, this honesty will help so many people suffering in silence. xx

[@MiyahSundermeyer]

+M Heart I met him at an autism conference back in February and I was so impressed that I did a vlog interview with him. He is going to be a great psychologist one day.

[@ava1421]

Hello World: with Miyah I totally agree! He's amazing!

[@MiyahSundermeyer]

He has a great way of explaining things too.

[@navyasingh4490]

Can you write what he told because I can't understand his language due to his speed

[@septemberhatten524]

Thanks Daniel so much for this I am getting tested for Aspergers whenever the specialist contacts us. This means so much.

[@karmafairy351]

This video is so amazing and inspiring and deserves so many more views and likes. I got really teary eyed at the end.

[@MrGallobird]

And that is one the reason D&D is so awesome.

[@MOLLYDOLLIGHT]

I'm sobbing right now. Absolutely bawling. This is me, to the T. I'm scared, but this also feels really cool. I hope its true but it makes me feel so awful. I can't explain it. Are you SURE this is Asperger's? This is my life. No proper friends, dedicating myself to learning how people socialize, and then finally coming out with adequate to excellent social skills. I'm normal, normal enough. This is me. Understand, I became Student Council Vice president, I received a senior superlative in the year book. I worked so hard. But, I didn't know this was Aspergers. Is it really? I just can't believe it.

[@cielbie8251]

I find that even though I want to talk with other people with autism like me, that the social awkwardness really overwhelms me. Not their social awkwardness, but my own feelings. Not because they were bad, but because everything about them reminds me of my insecurities and difficulties, and it is too much to handle... So much that despite understanding them more than anyone, I also found it so difficult to be with them... I always feel bad about this, and I want to help and communicate with people like me, but people like me are also the people that I find most difficult to be around...

[@autumnsylver]

I didn't realize I had such a big problem understanding body language until he mentioned things like rubbing your nose means you're uncertain or rubbing the back of your neck means you're anxious. I would have thought maybe the person had an itch or something. Those meanings never would have occurred to me. And I have never picked up on things like a person's feet pointing towards the door means they want to end the conversation and leave. (I believe I have undiagnosed Aspergers).

[@kbullock09]

Great video. As one of those kids that had to sit alone for many many years before finally figuring out how to fit in, I can totally relate. Elementary school can be some of the toughest years if you're on the outskirts of the norm. Once I figured out how to make friends, I have always tried to reach out to those who don't fit in very well. Great message.

[@hollydowns2279]

I love you Daniel! what a really great speaker you are . Really wonderful to know there are more like my husband and me in this world

[@YLskeptic]

Thank you. I'm doing better at social stuff by being observant, too, and listening to someone who is socially adept.

[@ambrs.c]

Easily one of the best talks I've heard, so inspiring in so many ways!

[@anodizingstatic]

All I can say is that, after being in similar "cafeteria" situations as a kid, the people who get up and leave either don't know you well enough (in which case, make yourself known) or just aren't worth being your friend. You'll find that in life, and you just have to move on. It's like natural selection - the fittest survive. If you stay true to yourself, clean up your appearance and use your social skills just a _little_ more than you normally would, you'll get there.

[@mduck92]

Please make this video accessible to Deaf and hard-of-hearing people by providing closed captioning. Thank you.

[@ybihuacuja4144]

OMG I hard trouble hearing him :/ Im HOH btw

[@jaypaint4855]

They did!!

[@jaypaint4855]

@@ybihuacuja4144 they added it in

[@normajimenez120]

You were so informative and made it simple to understand as a typically person who is a social butterfly I understood your pain. We need you, thank you!

[@joemaldonado3]

thank you. I really learned a lot. for me this is an eye-opener. now I understand what is really going on. I regret that the outsiders simply make fun of these with Asperger's. one day these outsider people will look up to them with awe....

[@1967davidfitness]

These Aspergers? You mean, people diagnosed with Autism/Aspergers. Who makes fun?

[@neddy550]

why you always telling people their wrong but do you get fun out of it

[@1967davidfitness]

Who are you? What do you understand about Autism?

[@neddy550]

I am your cousin, david. its me anil

[@1967davidfitness]

silly

[@myaddpost]

Wow. Where's the standing ovation? Thank You so much. I believe this is gonna change my life and I'm 34 now. So much hope.

[@Lavieestbelle04]

Loved this Ted Talk. You’ve got a way with words and definitely know how to work a room. I hope you’re doing well.

[@pouncingmonkey]

Great stuff. Two days ago I diagnosed my family, it was profound but only a final piece, like it was meant to be. I believe I have all but overcome it, in a way I could ramble for hours about my journey but can be summed up as my sub concision talking to me. I think it was my dads voice. I mimic. The revelation is my late father holding us together and the shame. He was a doctor, anti psychiatry, did not like tests, my mum did but couldn't understand them because of herself. He was very intelligent, He taught me how to smile, communicate, and be kind, but sheltered me from the stigma. My mum destroyed him and I bought her narrative until now. I fear shes too old a deeply in her fantasy to be able or worth pulling her out. My brother gets it, he tries to learn. Being the older sibling, he got it worse. I was favored. Nature/nurture needs studying, it could be all nurture, it would explain the spectrum. I reckon its all about neglect. Im spamming all these videos but learning as I type.

[@GenevieveKBusch]

I just started dating an Aspie so this is helpful. Thank you.

[@Potts2k8]

No please, keep rambling and telling us all the things you have figured out... My 10yo son was diagnosed with Aspergers and my heart breaks every day because kids at school are being so cruel and even his younger (8yo) brother told us just yesterday that no one in my eldest's class likes him even tho he's tried to get them to like him... I'm nearly in tears writing this because I can see the pain he's going through but feel completely powerless to help.

[@demanso1]

1:28 damn, I cried in the bathroom when that happened to me in middle school. freaking jerks

[@NancyLiedel]

Instead of asking him to fit in, we need to understand. I have two boys with autism. I need to see how they see the world, as much as they need to understand others.

[@BlissfulSl33p]

Teared up at the "came home crying because I felt like I was a bad kid and nobody liked me" part. I know that feeling all too well. Fortunately I managed to use my situation as a social outcast to learn about interacting with other people and how they respond to my social behaviours and over time I learned enough to function normally, for the most part. I went from having 1-2 friends in Elementary school (who were also social outcasts) to having multiple groups of friends in various cliques in High School. On a partially related note, when I discovered cannabis in University I found it caused me to revert back to my literal, socially oblivious perspectives. Although I enjoyed the experience and intoxication, it was difficult for me to function in social setting for up to two days after my most previous use. Does anyone else with a similar situation find the same thing happens to them when they smoke weed?

[@patbrown7304]

I'M IMPRESSED. HE IS REALLY A GOOD SPEAKER;BETTER THAN MOST. EASY FLOW.