What Being Autistic Taught Me About Being Human | Daniel Wendler | TEDxBend

Daniel Wendler grew up bullied, lonely, and awkward because of his diagnosis of Asperger's Syndrome, which is a condition on the autism spectrum. But when he started reaching out to other "outsiders", he discovered that he was not alone in his search for friendship​ and that the solution to our human need for connection can be found when we create a place of belonging for someone else. Daniel Wendler is the author of the books Improve Your Social Skills and Level Up Your Social Life as well as the website ImproveYourSocialSkills.com. Wendler’s commitment to help others find social success was born from his own search for connection. With Wendler’s quirky personality and awkward behavior, his childhood was full of rejection, bullying, and loneliness. After he was diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome, Wendler began teaching himself social skills from the ground up. When he then started reaching out to other “outsiders”, he discovered he was not alone in his search for connection, and that the best way to find a place to belong was to create that place for someone else. Today, as an author, speaker, and clinical psychology doctoral candidate at George Fox University, he works to help others make that same discovery. This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at www.ted.com/tedx

[@euanelliott3613]

I am autistic, I have no friends, and I have no relationship by choice. I am also schizophrenic. I am happy in my own space and I like to think to myself. I like to travel as it frees my mind.

[@sharonjensen3016]

Sometimes that's the only way to be. I'd rather be alone for the right reasons than in the company of others for all the wrong ones.

[@judithafholland]

My neighbour's son is "autistic spectrum" also called Daniel, now aged 7. I'm 70, single & so say, "normal". I couldn't understand his attempts at verbal communcation until last Christmas. He suddenly took off & is a right chatterbox now. I loved his hugs at the door when I visited, & soon started to say from my heart "I love you I love you I love you". Of course he'd immediately rush off to play on his own. I was thrilled the day he took my hand to play with him, but had no idea how he wanted to play, or the obsessions. I continue to struggle to understand him in more depth, relying on his Mum to teach me. I'm now going to watch lots of videos about autism spectrum. I had to move house 150 miles away. About 8 weeks before I moved he started to call me Grandma J all on his own, & that was my name from then on. I feel so proud. I had to ask his to teach me how to be a good Grandma. "Meet meet him when he comes home from school". So I did. He took my hand & we walked together in front of the school. (He usually rushes everywhere.) He told every single person, even the road menders, "This is Grandma J." I felt so proud. (I was the 1st person apart from his Mum who had met him from school) I was recently shocked & in tears, that his real grandparents don't even bother with a birthday card, although his grandmother has fostered several children. How could they??? He has such a lovely temperament & tries so hard, I'm thrilled by any small step he manages to overcome. Yes he also only has 1 friend at school. Mum & I try to say that it's quality not quantity, but how devastatingly hard for the little chap? I'm devastated to think he only has 2 birthday cards. He's noticed that he never gets invited to other children's birthday parties. He has filled such an important empty space in my life, it never occurred to me that I might be important to him. Instead of feeling a useless, unwanted old woman, & burden on society, I now have a purpose in life. So to those with a diagnosis of autism on here. I want to tell you that from the so called "normal perspective" you can heal us with love, & bring us joy too. Give an old woman without family a family. Forget differences in brain wiring, we are indeed all human beings in need of love, companionship, & acceptance. It IS tough, but never ever give up hope. I add that I also experienced ostracism at school. I suppose that I'm a congenital "nerd"!!

[@regentanz7364]

Ruth Cares thank you for sharing your story!

[@marcusanark2541]

Beautiful story, it's very nice of you to help him.

[@bellicosecash5184]

Wonderful story ma'am, it moved me to tears. Thank you for injecting love and hope in our world. 👍👍😊😊

[@GreyPunkWolf]

I just realized I ended up a viable human being in society thanks to people like you that I've met during childhood, taking the spot for empty spaces in my heart that most of my family members were not capable of. Thank you for saving this kids psyche. Or even being there to help him if he needs anything.

[@autismawareness904]

Thank you so much for sharing your story ❤️❤️❤️

[@daycap1]

"...sometimes they would pretend to like me so they could convince me to eat potato chips that they secretly spit on..." The pain in that statement :((

[@dac518]

sounds kinky to me.

[@stevegreenwood7837]

l went to a special school and strange thing is l actually witnessed this happen... two kids well known for being horrible ...spiting on another kids food .

[@AyessaVCruz]

Had that happened to me but with my hair. I only realised when I got home and my hair reeked of spit.

[@123456789charlotte33]

I've been watching these talks on Autism for ages and this has to be the most positive and inspiring one I've come across so far. Thank you!

[@YourRyeBread]

theres another called Women and Autism that regards dating thats so good and so funny if you’re open to it

[@terrywasson4806]

I absolutely agree! How powerful!

[@jfoxxbrowning]

My wife and I just had our baby daughter diagnosed with Autism today and its crushed us. Been watching Autism videos all evening and this one actually brought me some comfort. Please keep us in your prayers

[@TheOnlyGamingDML]

@@jfoxxbrowning it’s not something you should look at as a bad thing it’s just how the baby is

[@alicemay35]

Absolutely bawling my eyes out over my pasta while watching this alone tonight. Only recently realised i'm autistic, despite my older brother being diagnosed as a kid. Female autistic people are disproportionately undiagnosed and/or diagnosed with other mental health conditions instead. I may not have typical autistic traits or stereotypes like maths, trains or video games but this emotional speech really hit me. Thank you for this.

[@popycute13]

The good side of having Asperger is that you are able to see 2 worlds overlapped: the Neurotypical and the Aspie. It's a gift and I am proud of it.

[@depressedpacito7024]

Im also somewhere in the Asperger spectrum and I've felt that overlap to be one of my strongest points for personal denial about being autistic as whole. My family treats me "normal" but my girlfriend and my psychiatrist treat me based off who I show myself to be to them. I hide my autistic side from my family because them and they're Neurotypical way of thinking just doesn't add up with how I function or behave. They just tell me to be normal and every time its a dagger in the back. im 21 and was diagnosed at 17, before then it was chalked up as behavioural issue.

[@bryanmerton5153]

@@depressedpacito7024 Hi, I am 61 with ASD and ADHD it took me until my late 20’s to tell friends the way I am. Of course most of my friends new I was different from them as I have difficulty reading what they feel, I don’t know when to stop talking etc. But once I was brave enough to tell them a few things about me like why I always wear the same thing, or why I have anxiety, or why I have such sensitivity to sounds, I found that it didn’t matter to them. In fact they kind of went oh! Now when I meet new people I tend to mention that I am on the spectrum and that I am interested in them even though I don’t look them in the eye, that sometimes I have to stim now and then when overwhelmed. Also even though autism doesn’t go away, you learn ways to adapt. You learn social skills that are harder for us to pick up. Be true to yourself. You are normal.

[@jenot7164]

I remember my parents and my brother telling me that people would hate me and beat me up if I continue to behave the way I did. I had no clue what I did wrong. And still don’t know.

[@AtomizedMass]

Your parents and your brother were wrong

[@sharonjensen3016]

People like that shouldn't have children if that's the way they view anyone who is different.

[@HectorTJHuang]

When he talked about his birthday alone with pizza, I started crying. It resonates so deeply with me. I’m always alone on my birthdays; it never occurred to me that I could invite people to spend time with me, it never crossed my mind that I would need company. It’s only now that I realize I was feeling alone.

[@depressedpacito7024]

This was my entire life, I had 2 birthdays ever planned growing up. And both times only 1-2 people would show up for 30min then leave. My birthday to me is just another reminder that people will always look at me different. Now its just myself and my cat with video games or my gf

[@REBECCA_von_Rehn]

feeling exactly the same! it´s like waking up to an urge to connect to that uman social part inside of me

[@grandmat2561]

One one hand, it resonates, on the other, I am used to loneliness. I like being alone. I like not having to socialize. I like eating with myself.

[@andreirachko]

Inviting people is nice… Until you realize you have no clue what to do with them once they cross the doorstep. I remember the day when my mom invited my classmate’s family over and we sat in the living room - me and two other kids - and just kept still and silent. We had no video games back then and no idea what to do together. One of the most awkward moments ever.

[@forsmanos]

I'm autistic as well but i've never had a desire for friendship, i've always been content being completely alone. However, being alone is a completely different beast, as it's not a natural way for us to be.

[@segasys1339]

no one wants to be alone, you just don"t want to be hurt by others so you prefer to be alone. It's a vicious cycle, but you have to shake it off and keep trying until you succeed.

[@AMPStorm]

I am not autistic and I have never had a desire for friendship or people. I was a serious introvert as a child and still am quite introverted. I have always had an overwhelming amount of fantastic famialy members and afew great friends my whole life. They are always a joy to be around. I hardly ever miss anybody. It takes alot for me to ever think that I might feel that way. I am also addicted to competitive games so that pushes me towards making friends I guess.

[@SublimeLullaby]

​@@AMPStorm I don't miss anybody but I miss moments, like old relationships. I lose track of time, and feel it was yesterday when it was years ago. I lose friends because I am not attached to people much, I am attached to the moments I spent with them which belong to the past.

[@juliadixon4810]

You are lucky.

[@tobiasdoe2518]

me either. we are more in the spectrum than others.

[@KennTollens]

I was like that in high school. Didn't talk to anyone, skipped lunch to avoid having to socialize.

[@caradocg1234]

'the worst part of these experiences of rejection were that I thought I deserved them.' something about that hit home

[@SynIMPFML666]

I can relate. I have Aspergers, and was severely abused and bullied until I got out of high school.

[@Dancestar1981]

Adonis Verge I was bullied all through primary and secondary school and in the workforce

[@foolishdrunk2181]

@Rafee Kazi Curt is right. There's no excuse for being a sissy

[@joshdarragh492]

I’m in high school and I’ve been struggling to make real connections with people as I feel very uncomfortable with someone if I’m with them for too long and I never know when it’s appropriate to “deepen a conversation”. Recently I really spiraled down so now I’m seeing a therapist and I’m hoping I can work through some of my issues, but this talk really inspired me that I can get past this stage of my life.

[@azureuious4634]

I resonate with this and hope you can find someone you can be honest with like I hope to.

[@polkanietzsche5016]

Judging by your pfp I think you found some friends.

[@sparkyvibess]

I’m autistic and I already started crying as soon as he said ‘I just wanted a friend’

[@Kickassdave]

This made me burst out crying... My best friends who are always there for me have made life worth living when internally it's often a struggle. I am so glad they are there for me

[@eddiew2325]

I’m gonna be honest with u Dave I hate humans

[@muscovy5000]

This was one of the best talks on Asperger's. I identify COMPLETELY, almost down to the detail. You have an amazing and calm demeanor and will make a wonderful psychologist/therapist. I wish you luck and hope you continue to share your videos and research. Thank you so much.

[@yadirmora]

That long spoon analogy is great. A good message.

[@Amandavg]

I recently began seeking an ASD diagnosis as a 26 year old woman. I’ve withdrawn and haven’t spoken to my friends in almost a year. Well this video has made me rethink that. I think I’m going to reach out to them this weekend. Thank you 🥺❤️

[@brittrubio6918]

I saw Daniel and Kyler back in 2019 at an Autism conference and absolutely love their friendship. Daniels positivity and very true message that, yes we may be different but we are all human, is so basic but powerful. We all need reminders that no matter how “typical” or “divergent” we are, we all share core similarities and are all deserving of love, dignity, and respect.

[@eschwarz1003]

I think a key is the diagnosis and quelling of shame. He reached out to the other boy sitting on the floor for lunch; whereas without knowing of the Aspergers, a kid is made to feel guilty and hate themselves, so then why would you inflict yourself on someone else. Spoken as a late life 40yo diagnosee.

[@DontKillAnts]

I met Daniel last year when I was interviewing for the doctoral program he attended. It was very surreal watching this video (I stumbled across it). I saw "TED x Bend" and wondered if it was in Bend , OR. And when he said he was studying to become a psychologist, I realized he was the guy I talked to at a pizza social the night before interviews. Super weird feeling. I was impressed with him then and I am even more now.

[@Marie_me_]

This made me cry. I’m not on the spectrum but I know someone who might be and to think that all this time I was hurting him because I didn’t understand him breaks my heart. I feel a lot of people hurt others because they don’t understand them but don’t intentionally mean to. Thanks to people who are brave enough to step out and express how they feel so that others who are open minded can grasp and understanding and be a better person. And for those who are not able to speak out I don’t judge you. It’s OK I understand ❤️

[@sharonjensen3016]

Thank you for saying this. We, the autistic, need people like you on our side. I don't really want to hate or hurt neurotypicals (although sometimes it might be necessary). I'd prefer to have them in my corner.

[@Cvoor]

Daniel, I have always felt the same way, no friends, feeling left out with family, I have always felt awkward, because i never had a true friend. Really enjoyed your speech.

[@mariai.g.r.2786]

You will be an amazing psychologist!

[@lindaeger8263]

Thank you for your courage to help us to see the deeper qualities in all of us.

[@bradleypost8971]

He’ll actually be relatable.

[@ruth6833]

I'm sure many of our brilliant psychologists have the autistic spectrum condition!! Also amazed with this guy demonstrating how beautifully people on the spectrum Can communicate😄

[@ClownP1SS]

I was diagnosed with Aspergers at 18. I was treated as a child with ODD, ADHD. I have been rejected so much that I don’t I don’t have emotion. As a kid I experienced it insanity, abuse, vertigo, dyslexia.

[@glutamate5886]

Einstein ma BOI

[@meadowrae1491]

My best friend saved my life. We met in middle school, and she was my first real friend. I sincerely don't know where I would be without her, and I hope she knows that.

[@hopefulmelancholy7514]

I think that bullying should be punished with jail time or suspension. As a child,I was bullied by other girls relentlessly & noone ever saw me......noone saved me. Noone ever taught me proper social skills. Now today I am diagnosed with social communication disorder (like Asperger’s syndrome,but not on the spectrum) thanks to incompetent disabled parents,vicious bullies & growing up in poverty. Again,bullying should be considered a crime because it steals self confidence.

[@lotuswolf1518]

I have bipolar cause of bullying

[@Ste_Brit]

I’m a 44 year old with aspergers still going through the diagnosis process. It’s so long winded for adults 😢

[@billwong6077]

As I am hearing this, I thought about my own experiences. I am autistic. I am an occupational therapist. I am also a 2-timer of this very stage. Your talk made me think of some night and day experiences before and after I started occupational therapy school. Before occupational therapy school, I really was like you. I spent a lot of time alone. My social time during my undergrad years in particular- I only participated in poker tournaments (home games or event organized by school) as a means for some form of social interactions. Even though I was competent socially, I never interacted with my classmates or my faculty much. I ended up paying the price of not networking well... which led me to be unemployed for a year (though I did end up in occupational therapy school because of this). Now, my social life is a completely different ball game. At work, I still seek a lot of me time whenever possible (at work or at home). However, I do get along with my colleagues reasonably well. And when I go to occupational therapy conferences, I literally would have conversations non-stop, like a star quarterback on campus. It is because I have such strong social media presence and what I can offer professionally in multiple ways. In addition, I am extremely involved in my profession. Because of that, I got another great group of friends in terms of doing projects together or compete with one another for things that we all want. I think us autistics can do awesome things! We just need the right opportunity and right network. Also, don't let our perceived deficits limit us. We won't know what we are capable of until we try!

[@nadiamarie77]

Howdy, I understand what yall both went through and are going through. I was Diagnosed with Asperger's when I was 26. My problem was mildly academic, but mostly social. I could make friends so readily but my weird awkward behavior always pushed them away until I found a friend who was just as weird as myself! My Autism I believe has affected my ability to be a success in the world. I spent most of my 20's homeless not knowing how my Asperger's may and was playing a part even after receiving the diagnosis. I am a student now at the University of Alabama at age 31 and still working now on my bachelors. I found a program called UA ACTS (University of Alabama Autism College Transitional Support program). This program has allowed me to Finally learn skills from social to relational to business to financial to just basic life that I could not seem to grasp in the "main stream" way. I Loved hearing about you and Daniels success and now I have even greater hopes now for myself. Please continue to share your story and be a blessing to others! Roll Tide! Nadia

[@AMPStorm]

@@nadiamarie77 Nadia wow. Keep it up. Jesus loves you.

[@AMPStorm]

@@nadiamarie77 26 seems really old to be diagnosed. Thanks for sharing this.

[@Dancestar1981]

AMPStorm I was diagnosed at 23 and many women are on the spectrum and in their 60s and 70s but remain undiagnosed

[@treasurechest2951]

@@Dancestar1981 I was in my 40s. There are women and men into their 60s and 70s in my autistic social circles. Even after I got a diagnosis after a formal battery of tests, standard therapists refused to believe me. I'm a woman and this story more common.

[@Hyzentley]

This is so hopefull and true, somehow. Often we are painted as these inhuman people who can't and don't want anything to do with "normal" people, and hearing instead that we are deeply human not in spite but because our autism felt honestly healing

[@virnaalbasi2313]

This talk really moved me. I tried to be friends with an Aspie guy at university because he was always sitting alone but he seemed such a good guy, so innocently sincere and liked wordplays as much as me. I did not even know ASD was a thing back in 2011 so I just assumed he was a bit lonely, avoidant, maybe bullied before as he was a weirdo, and he could just like someone to be his friend. He never failed to thank me whenever I helped him study, or I told him I liked his company, or told him he was a real friend for me. Still he never reached for me first or shared details about his free time, because "he was like this". I never tried to force things and I was patient. I developed a "crush" on him as he was so pure and unique, I'd be better describe it as unconditional love. But at the end of the day, I realized he preferred being alone with himself 99% of the time and let him go. It was heartbreaking because I couldn't do anything at all for the one I loved. Unfortunately not all Aspies want to develop friendships. Now I believe he was a bit deeper in the spectrum despite his high logical intelligence

[@idraculaa]

This guy is super attractive, I am struggling to focus on his story - but for sure, a relatable experience of school for many people who were socially backwards. I love that bobby's first question asked was "do you like video games" - that would have been such a moment.

[@Keith_Mikell]

This was amazeballs! what a talk! Hes 100% right on everything. Being autistic is tough in this space. Ive had people at doctors offices get up and move to the other side of the room bc of my weirdness. They think that I dont know. They dont realize the impact their actions have on others. In fact it just happened this week. Being autistic for me is having a few close people. People that are true ride or dies. I dont attract fake people or plastic people. I attract real ones that you can cry with if needed. I just cried with a friend today. Those are the real ones. Guess, what, the dude i cried with today is also autistic. IDK if its common for autistics to attract other autistics? does anyone know?

[@pamparara_9173]

I think it is common - like attracts like!

[@s.b200]

What a purely amazing talk this was:)) One of the most valuable videos I've seen on TED. Thank you for inspiring and sharing your experiences with us. You gave me a new way to think about my own feelings of loneliness, and I'm very grateful for that

[@josephsamarrippas5114]

My 4 year old is autistic. It's difficult but hope to keep getting more light

[@pleasedontkillmyvibe2774]

Joseph Samarrippas Samarrippas atleast you figure out from an early age so you can start the early intervention process, I wish you luck!

[@Starry_Night_Sky7455]

He's so kindhearted and honest about his story.

[@puttervids472]

One of the best talks I’ve ever heard. Describes what I’ve felt to a T. The parable of the long spoons. That’s info I’ll never forget. Thank you for the info.

[@classicnobody9872]

it taught me to be nice to people with disabilities

[@m.infernal]

Great speaker, he articulates his thoughts well. I always wanted what he spoke of and felt his pain of wanting a friend but not knowing why people didn’t like me always thought i was broken. Luckily I too had video games and was able to make friends through them. Now, I am lucky to have someone who loves me for me and I her. Our struggles in life mirror each others and we understand one another inside and out. This video made me feel better about who I truly am.

[@leilap2495]

I am amazed by how similar our experiences have been, down to being kicked and spit on. It’s comforting to know there are others out there like me. Thanks for sharing your story and message. I wish you well.

[@michellesvortex7237]

Wow I am almost speechless I say almost because (exhales deeply) I just turned 53 last week it was a huge week for me. I came across a video a video of someone with Asperger's. After five or six hundred other related videos (yes in one week) and that was hours of incessant obsessive research on Asperger's and related information I am 100% positive I I'm a hundred percent positive... I am also an "Aspie" I've gone undiagnosed I misdiagnosed my entire life... No one's like me I've never met anyone like I am genius IQ yet I cannot keep a friend I don't know anyone nicer or more kind... more forgiving... More giving... Or I'm Not grandioso tooting my own horn I'm not want to jump on the bandwagon I'm not a hypochondriac I'm going to have the privilege of saying me too... It's always been me...Me alone, EVEN in a crowd. BUT WHAT I REALLY WANT TO SAY I've done my best to explain myself and navigate my way to my life the best I logically could.. resulting in my own explanations for my behavior thoughts and actions Only to realize that... My explanations are parallel to that of those with Asperger's! 🙏... Although it Makes no difference physically or chemically It doesn't change who I am or how I am.... Life can only get better! 🙏 Understanding with definitions suddenly makes life more bearable... That does change EVERYTHING..!!! I SPENT SO MUCH TIME, asking any & everyone including God, 🙏 how am I so different from everyone else? Every single person I've ever met or known Including my own family has hurt me deeply rejection lies denial... Even my own mother calls me crazy since I can remember & I talk to her every Sunday and said youre crazy... My response was/is always ..." Crazy like a fox, genius border Insanity, every single composer, poet , artist, inventor & genius in our history had a touch of madness, the crazy gene runs deep! And didn't you know 'crazy' is the new 'Sane'... But silently uncontrollable deep-seated need for peopleand I've never been able to keep a connection even though I have no trouble making them... It only takes a few 1 minutes for me to overwhelm anyone, even myself! I can't help it I can't turn it off not anything... I have special interest which drive me to incessantly and obsessively research anything that interests me and my research drives me to research for days ,weeks or even years and years... And I have a lot of of interests, so I also always say I'm a walking wealth of useless knowledge... I say useless not everyone wants to hear it but if you talk to me you get to anyway, I don't know when stop, until until they go away and they ALL, ALWAYS DO. SO OSTERIZATION AND ISOLATION HAS BECOME ME.... I COMFORT MYSELF BY SAYING IT IS TO KEEP MYSELF SAFE from the world of hurt. I found myself praying to God that if you wanted me to feel differently about people people that he would bring some of that these good people into my life followed by immediately recalling the prayer asking him not to do that... I had grown to hate all people seeing only darkness in them. They are all fake, fraudulent, plastic, lying deviant dark game playing money motivated power hungry monsters lacking sympathy empathy true pure love acceptance understanding Eaisley willing to forfeit or compromise their morals if they had any to begin with, who had no loyalty whose handshake means nothing, new regards their name of the word their history or heritage or even religion or God. And because of all that I did not want to be like them that never has stopped meat from needing human interaction... And your explanation of the Chinese spoons instantly made me well-up with tears and cry like a baby... well ty 4 that.,, ♥️🙏

[@rafaelnarcio9997]

This is the second TEDx talk I've seen from this guy, I feel identified with everything he had said in both talks. I'm 25 and I just got diagnosed with Asperger.

[@ramy8700]

how were you diagnosed? I'm unsure how to go about it

[@rafaelnarcio9997]

Basically, I had a friend who is a Neuropsychologist especialised in autism, she noticed I am autistic, and explain it to me, and recommended me get an appointment with another psychologist who works with autistic people, and then they confirmed it, and directed me to a psychiatrist, and that's how I got my diagnosis.

[@mountainmamafish]

This is so beautiful--my favorite ever TedTalk. Thank you, Daniel. Friendship is where it's at. You're story is for everyone.

[@915fiesta]

God bless those people who reach out and understand people of the autistic spectrum ❤️🙏

[@ZitaRocks]

Beautiful talk and story. I am the mother of a teen with Aspergers so this really touched my heart!

[@samk3141]

"I couldn't get people to like me, no matter how hard i tried" This basically sums up my life. There's a lot of exceptions to this but even in my current freindships I don't feel I'm liked in the way I was expecting. I often feel like i've pissed someone off and I'm like, i've only been nice and kind all my life, what's the problem.

[@daxmunro2236]

Daniel, your talk brought me to tears. I've shared those same experiences, being on the spectrum, and thank you so much for deciding to speak. x

[@david4rancibia34]

This hit right in the gut, for me as an asperger the worst feeling wasn't being hated or disliked by some people, was being ignored by the mayority of people, most of the friends i have right now are because i swallow up my awkardness and reach to them, i'm not sure if i would have friends if i haven't done something about it.

[@ellashealthnhappiness5040]

He has this unbelievably calming voice. Loving it! ❤️

[@sarahallenhumboldt2638]

I am so sorry that you went through all of that pain; not knowing what is going on is horrible. I am glad you are doing so much better now.

[@rhettinski]

I was that kid 'eating lunch in the hall' in high school. That hit like a hammer.

[@claudiaengel8624]

My Boyfriend is an Asperger Man. He is my big love. Aspergers are awesome.

[@eddiew2325]

Is he an aspergers man or aspergers woman

[@christyt1723]

Thank you for having the courage to speak about autism and share your experiences. I know that your speech has made a difference in others dealing with the same issues.

[@DarayaVahu]

OMG The spoons thing is genius 🤗

[@marifran]

Invisible man no more. Your message radiates light around the space around you and you become a super power radiating energy of love, empathy, humility, compassion, faith, hope, joy and peace.

[@lunabeekhuizen8858]

So I'm autistic and my bestie is autistic... you'll never guess how we met. I was lonely sitting against a wall and he was lonely sitting against a wall... Truth be told, I'd been afraid of being all alone and having no friends, because people used to team up against me for most of my childhood, but it was difficult for me to see when I could talk to someone. Since future bestie wasn't talking to anyone, I was all like "you have hereby been claimed as my conversational partner." Now he was lonely and had no friends, but he'd been pretending he had friends so he wouldn't have to invite actual people over. There I was thinking I made a really popular friend. It took a few years for the truth to come out, on both sides, but I think it's all the more valuable that we managed to help each other with our fears and loneliness despite the masquerading.

[@SublimeLullaby]

The spoon allegory is spot on

[@alexanderelderhorst2107]

I have high functioning autism which is similar to Asperger and I could not figure out why I wanted to be alone and have friends at the same time. This actually kinda explains it better than I ever could, because I was bullied so I'd sit alone every day so I don't get bullied as much. But really I wanted friends, and I really wanted a girlfriend. I felt like I wasn't worth a relationship, that nobody could love me and it really screwed with my education, cause I diverted a lot of attention from school. (18, I still haven't had a girlfriend, after so many rejections that I can''t even count them all) Worst part was when I just really wanted to sit alone and wasn't in the mood, then a friend pops over to talk. (I made friends with some seniors). I just felt so bad that they were trying to be friendly and I just didn't want it at the time.

[@ONECOUNT]

Dont listen to Jack get diagnosed. Pick the right girl one who can share your feelings.

[@jurisprudentiapublishing6462]

Daniel. Thank you for another fabulous, amazing, wonderful presentation. You are inspiring to all.

[@jasper-6433]

We are so alike. Thankyou for this. I have to change a few things now

[@thatsjustluvly]

Great talk, also you speak amazingly well

[@tantricbar]

He vivido con un bello ser humano que tiene el Síndrome de Asperger No lo sabía... Y si, tenía respuestas raras...a veces se ponía mal por cualquier cosa... Era básicamente un buen hombre... Inteligente... Poeta... Gracioso... Y raro... Si lo hubiese sabido antes.... Hubiese sido menos "dura" con el Lleno mi Vida de Belleza y extrañeza... Seguimos juntos... Con separaciones y reencuentros 30 años de sufrirnos, amarnos y cuidarnos... VALIO LA PENA... TOTALMENTE... VÁLIDO NUESTRAS VIDAS Tenemos 76 años... Y nos hemos apoyado mutuamente Gracias s la vida... Por este regalo

[@Realifesaiyan1]

I made my first best friend like this and I am lucky it turned out better, I was 6 and I ran on to his back porch and knock on his window. I didn’t know what to do to make friends. We still became friends, he was an outcast as well. This friend also would order food for me as a kid and talk for me around new people and adults. I couldn’t process. People just thought I was quirky, and funny, I wasn’t trying to be. It took me years to learn how to interact properly. In internalized my differences as well and I was depressed into my teens. I dropped out of highschool, yet I wasn’t a bad kid. Social interaction are definitely a learned behavior that needs to be practiced, and it was hard. I felt very lonely for along time. I’m not diagnosed but I’m fortunate that I found my girlfriend, other women didn’t get me or connect with me. Thanks for your story

[@YourFriendlyInsuranceAdjuster]

This is great, Daniel. Thank you for sharing your story on a wider scale! 😊

[@terrywhite3526]

I love the analogy about the spoons, I am not autistic but I am trying to research the condition as I have been asked to write a song about it (trying to fit all I am learning into a 3 minute song is going to be challenging) thank you for sharing your experience...

[@johnries5593]

At least you had the guts to try to make friends. I had trouble working up the courage to try to connect with people.

[@clairealexander1346]

Daniel Wendler - I found myself both laughing, and crying, during your speech. I found myself laughing, while in pain. In contrast, I found myself smiling, while crying. In short, I appreciated your humour! One of my favourite things about your speech, was that, a label was not perpetuated. Instead, the message that I felt, was that we are all just human. In my heart, I know that this is true. I do also believe, that DECIDING, to switch your behaviour, is key. I found this speech to be so incredibly profound. I, so thoroughly, enjoyed your sentiments. They certainly resounded with me. In closing, I'd be honoured, to reach out MY metaphorical spoon, for someone else - anyone else. - "What's up?" - "I hope all is well?" - "insert dialogue here" ... God Bless, everyone.

[@dandelion_16]

Well, I'm learning more and more about my disorder these days so I guess it's going good.

[@dandelion_16]

@@clairealexander1346 : thanks for your kind words, they really warm my heart and yes were talking autism here :).

[@clairealexander1346]

Oh my goodness you are so welcome. I'm happy to be there for ya. Happy to listen. Thanks so much for your reply, as well..@@dandelion_16

[@davidmachado9124]

Wow. This touched me. Congratulations to how you developed your humanity in those circumstances, Daniel Wendler

[@rabbitfood5959]

What a beautiful talk. A beautiful message. We need so so much more of this. Thank you Daniel Wendler!

[@catsat8211]

I was that kid I have been diagnosed with borderline bipolar PTSD and now Fibromyalgia And would like to be your friend

[@Robinicat]

What a brilliant speaker you are! This was the best talk on asperger's I have listened to to date. I thank you for the lesson in the power of friendship and belonging.

[@umeshk2790]

So beautifully said ..Why doesn’t this video have more views ? Thank you sir for sharing your thoughts with so much dignity. 🙏🏻

[@simonnestarrk7665]

This guy has the.most amazing beautiful engaging way of speaking and the tones in his voice soothe me. He wo8uld make a great story narrator for ebooks or anything really. Gorgeous.

[@forheavenssakeidonthavewif2657]

What a beautiful talk, I felt tears welling up. Loneliness isn't the sole experience of those with Asperger's, it is, as he said, the human condition. For someone apparently neurologically different he touched my nerve endings. I just wish I'd seen a wedding ring on him. I hope he finds all he needs, and the blessing of his own family and life partner. His secret power is to touch the shared essence of us all. Thank you for this talk.

[@JohnSmith-em9ks]

Exactly right! Been trying to tell my sons school to have the kids welcome friendships in order to support each other. All they seem to do is break up fights and force them both to apologize to each other (without them actually meaning it) and think "all is well now". NOT. Next day, same damn thing. Fighting, arguing and having meltdowns.

[@naiyahp]

I am Autistic as well and this is all the truth.

[@auramyna3099]

This is such a valuable realisation, and I think a lot of valuable realisations can be found by reversing the polarities of a situation.

[@sonjaroethlisberger4313]

such a soothing and comforting voice on top of a wonderful speech!

[@Gherkinlife]

Best Ted talk, best aspie talk. Looking beyond self, love.

[@RainnFTWj]

Amazing talk.

[@malleluja]

You have a calming voice! Thank you for sharing.

[@canndydrivegaming9831]

Walking with the hands behind the back doesn’t say you trying To be someone is showing u making contact or mimic is like a person who Communicate with he’s hand sign But couldn’t not talk A autism person is always looking for Away to connecting to others every thing

[@thomasholland4313]

Wow that hit home and gave me chills🙂

[@euanelliott3613]

I learned that loneliness is a comfort, company is agony.

[@SarahAbramova]

🥄🍲 I feel ya, man. I feel ya so hard, I'm in tears.

[@lizamorgan37]

Heartbreaking to hear of the pain you went through. So sorry you were treated this way..Amazing presentation thank you..I shared w my son who is on the spectrum ❤❤

[@featuring782]

Thank you for your words. I needed to hear this right now

[@zomska]

Well done, Daniel. Your talk was so inspiring; I was deeply moved.

[@DS-ej4hs]

Amazing speech. All of us with asd can completely relate to you so thank you.

[@antony2121]

you made me cry

[@MiyahSundermeyer]

Congrats Daniel

[@NikkiVelazquez]

Boy can I relate!

[@aleahbrown7072]

What an insightful and inspiring message! Thanks for sharing Daniel!!!

[@aceacesoulgaming8152]

The love my life is exactly like me and it was greatest thing ever but I needed to hear this

[@coolmom6155]

Thank you so much for open my eyes to understand my son with the same situation.

[@jesslynnarmstrong3595]

Brilliant. Thank you.

[@MrStereotypez]

Thank you very much for describing it so well

[@barbaraconnett5057]

Thank you, this is so wonderful!

[@RandomWandrer]

Your opening story made me cry. Thank you for sharing this . X

[@marcusbandy4482]

Thank your for this, Daniel.

[@leslieguerrero4834]

wonderful presentation, thank you.

[@mistwalker11]

Thank you! Loved this talk. :)