Test Your Relationship Before You Commit | Ali Siddiq Stand Up Comedy

Give this a try on your Valentine's date this week. Let me know how it goes.
Upcoming Tour Dates:
February 16: Shreveport, LA
February 17: Beaumont TX
February 23: Toronto
February 24: Syracuse
March 1: Milwaukee
March 2: Minneapolis
March 8: Birmingham
March 9: Macon, GA
March 15: Indianapolis
March 16: Akron OH
March 22 New York City
March 23 Albany
Check out tour dates: www.alisiddiq.com/
Connect on social media!
Instagram: alisiddiq?...
Facebook: / ali.siddiq.92
TikTok: / thealisiddiq
Twitter: / ali_speaks
Ali Siddiq is a stand-up comedian, public speaker, and writer out of Houston. Ali’s unique style of stand-up began behind the walls of incarceration, an incubator for interesting experiences and good stories.
People received their first taste of Ali Siddiq when he appeared on HBO's DEF COMEDY JAM and LIVE FROM GOTHAM, and in 2013 he was named Comedy Central's "#1 Comic to Watch". In 2014, Ali impressed comedy enthusiasts by displaying his ability to captivate an audience with his "Mexicans Got On Boots" tale, descriptive storytelling, with over 15 million views, of a prison riot on THIS IS NOT HAPPENING, the first of three appearances. His stories continued with his HALF HOUR special, which premiered on Comedy Central in the fall of 2016. Immediately following the premiere of that special, Comedy Central offered Ali an hour-special where he performed for inmates live in a Texas jail, sending Ali back to where it all started. The hour special, Ali Siddiq: It’s Bigger Than These Bars, premiered in February 2018 on Comedy Central. In 2019, Ali could be seen as a Top 5 finalist on NBC’s BRING THE FUNNY. Most recently, Ali could be seen as a guest on THE JOE ROGAN EXPERIENCE.

[@nathanelliott7897]

“I got forty dollars” “That ain’t even the tip!” 😂😂😂😂💀💀💀

[@cheekynative]

Her situational awareness is A1. That's the type of partner you need in life 😂

[@OverworkedITGuy]

Fact that she actually did spot the waiter looking at her every time means even more Ali picked the right one. 🤣

[@LookingForGodHEISEVERYWHERE]

Lol

[@fontainelebrock345]

The waiter wanted to play too!! 😂😂😂

[@jarrardcarpenter6905]

😂😂😂😂

[@TENRAN432]

i've heard this story before, but this delivery and crowd control is excellent

[@LoveConquerz]

I did too because me & my friends use to do this in the restaurants in the early 80s 😅😅😅😅

[@kee3000]

I believe it was when he did the Comics To Watch or something like that. It was about 8 or 9 years ago.

[@bighomieJ5X]

Ali is in a category by himself, comedic genius 💯👏🏾

[@AliSiddiqComedy]

thank u

[@okiedokie2557]

Yea he’s literally just talking about his life and making it funny. I’ve heard this man tell prison stories and make it funny. Original and can’t be duplicated.

[@bighomieJ5X]

@@okiedokie2557 i totally agree

[@ExotikBand767]

First time I watch him That actually confused me..because he takes what's supposed to be dark prison stories...and makes it funny...that's talent😂💥💥​@@okiedokie2557

[@chisalachanda9038]

This Dude is growing at the speed of light..........and he gets funneir every show he does.😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@tammiebaby21]

Lmao stop playing so much sir, we scared 😂😂😂

[@rhondasday]

Man I would have been outta dere like he told me to when he said it boo 🤣🤣🤣. Ignored the heyell outta that waiter. Car runniiiin 😘

[@dubtube2823]

😂 my boy said I would have left her but she had my keys

[@jgmommy2815]

So between you & Hassan mama that’s why he be whispering Mr. Siddiq 😂😂

[@cleaningcrew6657]

Good one!😂

[@jgmommy2815]

@@cleaningcrew6657 🤣

[@gawainfraites7994]

You k ow I thought about that too lol

[@jgmommy2815]

@@gawainfraites7994 🤣🤣

[@Jae3811]

I was thinking the same thing😂😅

[@beverlyobasiolu]

Comedy is definitely your calling Ali ❤❤ we love you!

[@tamikahayden2947]

The willingness to help is what counts

[@Raijin1770]

Gotta admit at least she tried😂 waiter was watching like a hawk

[@marcusmiller7138]

15 years in... still in love. Its a beautiful thang

[@1N3SOUL]

“Thts definitely enough time”🤣🤣🤣 All seriousness though Blessings to y’all that’s Beautiful 🥂🥂🥂🥂

[@LA-213-]

Man Ali is just a master at delivery. Had a chance to see him in ontario he does not miss. The way he tells the story is just so natural.

[@TW4165]

😂😂😂😂, That poor woman 😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@karlinwilliamson9329]

The way you set jokes up and deliver is up there with the best of them. You are truly gifted at comedy

[@paulahandy7420]

I can't wait to see you in Savannah 😂😂😂😂😂. So talented

[@cleaningcrew6657]

When?🎉

[@sentorra31]

He's coming to Georgia??!!!

[@2C2G]

Crazy plot twist😂😂😂

[@jahudahyisrael8001]

Shalom-Salute! She had the outlook, lookout on point! Team Player!! Lol😂!

[@dadon4157]

Test to see if you're with a criminal. Got it 😂

[@SugaBee]

This is one of my favorites!!!!!! They watching me🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😅🤩😍❤️

[@alexanderchepkiyeng4853]

💯 Wisdom right there 😂😂 Perfect Timing too #254🇰🇪

[@javonteshavers4388]

Ali man why is your comedy so relevant to my life?? Not me askin my girl if she’s dwn to skip out after if this bill too high, we went in & it would’ve happened just like this but the Valentine’s Day special menu started off at $95 per person with a wait time of 40 mins to a hour. she said he’ll nah & we left😆😆

[@cookiecookie8829]

Expensive taste on your treat!!! 🤣Being the man you are you paid the bill!!!👍

[@siftknife761]

Awe hell naw she paying her shet. I pay mines

[@shabrethajennings7291]

​@@siftknife761Lol that's not even a date then you could have just went out with your homie. You don't take a date to places you can't afford unless both are in an agreement that its not a date. Then y'all pay separately lol.

[@siftknife761]

@@shabrethajennings7291 you know you a gold digger with that response. You said that like you knew what u was talking about. The point of a date is to get to know the other person not worry about if I can afford it or not. No shet I wouldn't take any betch any place I know I can't afford but that's never a problem. I'm not taking no betch no where fancy or expensive in the first place if she ain't already my bottom betch or high rider(cowgirl style). Now if it's a birthday I'm willing to pay for it or I might cook for her instead. Cause I just don't feel like going out to eat for something I can easily make at home. If she thinks a man's a man cause he paid her meal she ain't the one for me. Hell we don't need to go out to eat on the first date anyways many other places we can go to like a park. Bitches be entitled these days. And I ain't no simp y'all got to earn your keep just like we do

[@siftknife761]

@@shabrethajennings7291 you know you a gold digger if you said all that bs. If you ain't my bottom betch and high rider (cowgirl style) I'm not paying your meal. A date is for getting to know the other person not worrying if I can pay their fuking side of the bill. I can afford anything I want don't get it twisted. She can pay her own damn bill just like you can. I rather not go to restaurants if woman gonna be entitled just like you sound. We can go to the park and get to know each other. Once I'm done with you. I'm taking myself out to eat. If you just some bird off the street I'm taking you somewhere to get something off the $1 menu. We not going no where expensive or fancy on the first date. You ain't earned that yet

[@Deem_The1]

😂😂😂 every time she got up I looked at her ahh

[@trapt29]

My favorite comedian!

[@angeliquesoul6719]

Got me over here laughing hard 🤣🤣🤣

[@ginacherebin1106]

I absolutely adore you Ali. Continued Blessings ❤

[@TheLovely990]

" I walked outside, I'm gone"😅😅😅😅

[@lexy231]

Whenever Ali whispers, you already know it’s about to be a GOOD follow through 😂😂😂😂

[@BLOXKAFELLARECORDS]

Yo speaking facts 😂

[@opal2610]

Been with mine since 96, we been through the whirlwind for sure.. he was my first BUT despite all the growing pains, I realised that love was my power and there was nothing he could do for me not to forgive him and likewise.. it's crazy, but it's real and it's 💯

[@mars6272]

Absolutely Adore him

[@royalbillionsmusic]

😂😂😂😂 best stories

[@samanthagreen5535]

I luv me some him❤😂❤

[@DarrieDen]

❤😂😂😂❤ Love your sets. I would've told you who was watching 👀 as well..

[@erikapayne9348]

He said my thang got the nutty buddy!

[@hhairball9]

I love watching you! I hope someday to see you live!

[@VisionOfThePhoenix]

LMAO! I like her!!!

[@user-fh1rl7op2c]

Right on 😂

[@vonniboo12]

This was so funny 😂😂😂

[@larry6400]

Bomaye, Ali, bomaye 🙌

[@Whoiskimb]

Oohhhh shiiitttt I didn’t know this is actually How I Met Your Mother for Hasan god damn😂😂😂

[@Sportsgrid_]

I talked to my homeboy about this and he said it’s corny but now I think I’ll do it

[@veeisher]

😂😂😂😂😂😂 that’s me… I couldn’t do nothing like that 😂😂😂 Huhlarious 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

[@rebuttallamar4668]

Dude so funny man 😂😂

[@ELI323]

Facts 😂

[@godumb6038]

😂😂😂😂 I get up walk outside

[@Omisade-kr7re]

I’m with you 😂😂😂😂😂leave

[@letashaluxuries5661]

😂😂she said it😂😂

[@phatzfray0627]

Man my dawg coming to Jacksonville 😮 june 7tg we will be there

[@haz3ls]

😂😂😂😂 I can’t

[@QueenUglyDuckling]

😂😂😂 i cant with Ali Siddiq.....

[@DemetriusPooleJr]

😂 they watching me

[@aprilgeneric8027]

^5 helluva YT recommend...dude you and chris rock need to collab a tv show together with the wayans family crew

[@SammieSoSubmissive]

🖤🖤🖤

[@dominiquepolk2158]

Can't wait to see you in North Carolina next month 😂

[@AliSiddiqComedy]

which city and day?

[@dominiquepolk2158]

@@AliSiddiqComedy Raleigh March 30

[@akil4124]

🔥🔥🔥🔥

[@MrsNewland318]

I’m down!!!🤣🤣🤣 #mygriot

[@PayyTimee]

Good one lol

[@james.mukuria]

Shout-out to the waiter, he's the true hero in the story! 😂😂😂

[@opal2610]

But we also was in the same position where he asked me to order what I wanted and he sweating like mad after I ordered food 😂 luckily I had money so it wasn’t a thing.. can’t believe this happened to you too.. fast forward to now he got me so it’s all good.. ❤😂

[@caratinawaiters2590]

I only laugh with him 😅😅😅

[@williegrant3054]

😂😂😂😂😂😂 Ali is a Fool

[@SharonSmith-kl2hw]

My husband did that it’s yoyr day whatever you want I took the mortgage car note . He Smiled)

[@user-zr8gk5ui2d]

She lucky you funny 🤣🤣🤣❤O I love you🤣🤣🤣

[@deep153]

Testing 1_2

[@g4mrplays]

LOL

[@BlvdTodd]

🤣🤣👏🏾🤣🤣

[@kingshakablulu]

I'm definitely coming to see you my birthday twin 10/17

[@mrcdvs]

Saw this same skit on tiktok the other day

[@AudiomoeTV]

This fool is a legend & dropping gems

[@beckychep]

Test??! huh🤔 I rather leave the relationship💯.

[@anisezettecarey2448]

Imma Always Choose Me Over You!!! Know It

[@fjohnson3967]

See you again in Cincinnati, my brother!

[@Omisade-kr7re]

My thang, my thang😂😂😂 Ali😂😂😂

[@sharonjackson9081]

LMBO....I would have left before U! All B/c I DON'T look good in orange!🤣😅🤣

[@kristalliiite6408]

Test them before and during

[@jamelldevans9326]

🍿🤣

[@DarneIITV]

😂😂😂

[@ladoramccall4837]

Shit, lol i tested a guy. I had my ex pull a knife out, he guy i was dating split, he ran!

[@isaacfernandez9381]

🤣

[@user-oy8hr1kp3b]

🤣🤣🤣😂🤣🤣😂

[@courtnmoopsmama]

I remember my ex and I were at Hooters and it was time to pay the bill. He said, “Here’s what we’re gonna do. You go to the bathroom and “faint”. I’m gonna rush back there and pick you up like a hero and everyone will be so distracted by the commotion that we can just glide right out the door.” We laughed about it then he paid the bill 😂😂😂

[@user-ml4eb6ib6d]

❤😂😂😂😂

[@shygurl_moe1502]

😂😂😂😂

[@lionellogginll]

I'm a married man but if I was dating I would tell her how much we have to spend so the night can be smooth. Take notes and be honest!

[@forexworld9245]

Name of this stand-up????

[@Auraseven415]

🤣😂😅🥰

[@ecaldwell9]

Why he do the resteraunt like that? He should have paid them first, then play with her. But don’t have the Resteraunt thinking that you’re not going to pay.

[@AliSiddiqComedy]

i did pay

[@ladoramccall4837]

Lol, I tried testing, a guy pulled a knife and he ran!

[@Hallucinato444]

He finally stopped talking about prison stories. Kudos

[@thomasandersen5349]

I do the testing with the 1st 3 dates - Off the top, she can't be anti-gun. So, if she's cool after that... the dates begin: First date, middle of the road place. Second date - luxurious place. Third date - street vendor food. After that I can get a good idea of how the woman behaves in all 3 financial levels, and, perspective/insight into her values and how she was raised, educated - or NOT - then tells me to either take her out to the next date - or walk away. And if on the first 2 dates, I ask to split the check, you know it's Over before it Started. Gold diggers are out there in packs y'all.

[@reesechanson]

This is actually genius.. I am start doing this

[@TrasieHemingway]

To tell you the TRUTH, I like your strategy. Sound plan to me.

[@salsera127]

If on the first two dates I offer to split the check, especially the high end restaurant, I’m not interested in you romantically. You want her to split the bill at an expensive restaurant that YOU invited her to? Maybe a better test is on the cheap date. Ask can she run in and grab something cheap, like coffee without giving her money.

[@siftknife761]

Pardon me playa what's a middle of the road type of place

[@malikevans2615]

Being anti gun seems like a weird reason to not date somebody imo lol

[@boogieman8827]

What was the test exactly?

[@user-rx7hn9li5c]

$460 on our first date? Naw!!! That would've been our last date. All she had was $40? Her broke couldn't afford what she ordered.

[@salsera127]

He didn’t say a first date, did he?

[@jermaineallen2879]

What was the pass and fail for this exam

[@AliSiddiqComedy]

who's down with you

[@raf-lofi]

What was ghe moral of the story of test

[@Frank-um5mt]

To see if she was a thief

[@jennycadot3635]

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@Deefromdashadows]

Nah yo I rocks with Katt but he hating on Ali

[@normancore9522]

If your lady watched your special , she should know what you mean if you say go to the car bofl ...,..