The Dismissive Avoidant's Core Wound: 'I am Defective' (FA Too!)

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The Personal Development School

The Personal Development School

Күн бұрын

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In this video I'll talk about the dismissive avoidant, and the fearful avoidant, and their core wound around defectiveness.
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I post every other day, and you'll find some completely new content there :)
Thank you for watching!

Пікірлер: 126
@cameranserrano1263
@cameranserrano1263 4 жыл бұрын
You are such a beautiful person! I am currently dating a DA and anytime i look up information on his attachment style, all i read is heartless comments like -"run while you can". You approach DA's like they are real people, with big hearts who just get scared sometimes. It brings tears to my eyes to see how kind you speak about them. I'm a huge fan of yours and your content. Thanks!!
@bernadettemeade7259
@bernadettemeade7259 4 жыл бұрын
Exactly Thais makes the DA or FA feel like human beings, on other sites we are vilified, demonized, called Narcissists. Couldn't comprehend calling an individual with Anxious attachment names or belittling them for their needs.
@healthyhippy4282
@healthyhippy4282 4 жыл бұрын
I agree . Unfortunately they were horribly traumatized as children to be the way they are . They are scared and they are just trying to protect themselves as they see best . To date a dismissive you need to understand were they are coming from .
@yuristeaparty
@yuristeaparty 4 жыл бұрын
As a DA, this is really encouraging to read. Your empathy means a lot!
@valentinanocross8677
@valentinanocross8677 4 жыл бұрын
I am so on the fence if my last DA was so deeply shamed or as a overworked paramedic fireman is calloused over the ability to see i needed help, but rather preyed on my fresh divorce and language inability , but I think the answer is to stop thinking about that because that would equal my core AA wound , was I weak, and that would give me shame . He was still having sex with others .. which makes me follow the advice of runaway. I wonder if I will ever run into him and when I'm healed what he will look like and feel like to me. I look forward to the ability of discernment in this kind of situation
@cameranserrano1263
@cameranserrano1263 4 жыл бұрын
oliviapls Oh good! I wish I could give you a hug! It’s ok and nothing’s wrong with you! DA’s are just very easily misunderstood people. They protect their hearts cos they know what is important and worth protecting ☺️ Take care of yourself and don’t be afraid to be open with the people you care about so they don’t feel like you are pushing them away. The ones who don’t understand are the ones you don’t want in your life anyway
@denisadiaconu95
@denisadiaconu95 4 жыл бұрын
I just wanted to take some time and thank you Thais and your team for gifting us with content every day. Helping us through this time. In this period of social distancing I've been constantly evolving, by myself and with the help of my therapist as well. I'm a FA and have been in relationships with DAs all my life, without realizing what was wrong, but knowing in my gut that something was not right. Thank you for shining light on a topic that is not very popular. Much love to everyone that is here to better themselves. 💕
@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool
@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool 4 жыл бұрын
Thanks for taking the time to write that. So happy to hear the content is helping you. Much love back to you! - PDS team member
@ohnoeswhatsthat1335
@ohnoeswhatsthat1335 4 жыл бұрын
I just had an epiphany. As a child, my emotions were not recognized or taken care of. Before therapy, I had a lot of difficulty speaking up for myself and showing my emotions. I felt numb. After therapy I felt a lot more secure showing my emotions and actually learning how to feel it again. But I didn't understand one comment that my psychologist said. I can't remember the comment, but it had to do with something a friend said during an argument (she said; why are you always so sensitive, and she has said that quite a lot). What that friend said really hurt me because it showed to me that it was not safe around her to express my needs and emotions. I felt like she labeled speaking up for myself and expressing what I feel and think as a bad thing. But now, I realize that I also do that myself. I hate being called sensitive because children in my childhood always called me sensitive and I had a lot to deal with at the time. It became such a bad word for me. It's a trigger because I sometimes still think of it as a bad quality of myself. Although I do believe that expressing myself is good, I still feel such a strong dislike for the word sensitive. I need to re-evaluate that and give it a more positive meaning.
@estherhaikkila9901
@estherhaikkila9901 4 жыл бұрын
I used to have a similar feeling about being called sensitive because I had a hard time expressing my needs and emotions. What I came to realize is that being "sensitive" is a wonderful trait! I can experience life to the fullest. I have the capacity to feel my emotions on a deep level and my life is more rich and fulfilling because of it. It's a gift and when I opt to feel my emotions, whatever comes up, i acknowledge and accept them and then release what I need to. The point is to feel and accept in order to process. That's worked for me and changed my attitude towards sensitivity. :) Hope that helps!
@simonembatha7707
@simonembatha7707 4 жыл бұрын
The safety I feel when Thais says "This is your daily breakthrough video"
@sillymamacita3854
@sillymamacita3854 4 жыл бұрын
Agreed ❤
@elle381
@elle381 4 жыл бұрын
ME TOO! that's why I'm here every single day!
@BeautyWithinKakra
@BeautyWithinKakra 4 жыл бұрын
💜💜
@danaconnolly8574
@danaconnolly8574 4 жыл бұрын
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, you are seriously the best youtuber out there. I have made so many strides from you. I’ve listened to Law of Attraction Gurus and coaches of all kinds but some videos they post make me feel even worse and just confirms that I am defective, it’s all my fault, something is clearly wrong with me ect. Your videos are a light and emanate so much love and genuine care. I wish you still did one on one coaching Bc I would love to take sessions with you. But thank you for sharing all this amazing informative and honestly I think, groundbreaking and life changing content.
@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool
@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool 4 жыл бұрын
Thank you so much for your beautiful message
@alexandramaria7754
@alexandramaria7754 4 жыл бұрын
What I love about these videos is how details can educate individuals to grow. Also, I would love to leave another message here. When you understand and apply this information in your life, please don't try to change your partner unless he or she is willing to work out on themselves. Use all this information to nourish yourself and find a healthy relationship in your future. And keep in mind that even secure individuals at some level in their lives experienced traumatic experiences. There are no angels or devilish individuals in this story. What exists is people that want to evolve and others that still have to walk through their lives and live more experiences to understand: "Ok, I need to change because I am suffering!". Thank you for sharing all this material with your audience, Thais :) Alexandra
@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool
@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool 4 жыл бұрын
Thanks for your lovely and insightful words :) - PDS team member
@charisobservatory
@charisobservatory 4 жыл бұрын
Thank you for this perspective, it really resonates! That's why it's so great to be a member of this community...
@sillymamacita3854
@sillymamacita3854 4 жыл бұрын
That is so helpful- people who haven't experienced enough yet to know they are over the suffering. I always tell myself, "that's their journey. I'm on my own journey. They'll get there when they're ready to, just like I do." ❤
@elle381
@elle381 4 жыл бұрын
Thank you Alexandra. I needed that.
@blueveganrat7304
@blueveganrat7304 4 жыл бұрын
Thank you for all of the work you do, especially for DAs. You've offered not only hope but effective strategies in actually changing thoughts and patterns of my DA self. So many other attachment works disregard DAs (as in, "Run from them!") and that's even more heartbreaking as a DA trying to change. You really make a difference.
@nataliel2149
@nataliel2149 4 жыл бұрын
I totally agree 💜
@roveism
@roveism 4 жыл бұрын
Damaged people, damage people.
@cameranserrano1263
@cameranserrano1263 4 жыл бұрын
Damaged people need love and gentleness
@jimb8695
@jimb8695 4 жыл бұрын
@@cameranserrano1263 Love and gentleness don't always work. I've tried for four and half years. The DA always went ice cold when any love was blossoming. Not worth it.
@addwasabitomycoffee
@addwasabitomycoffee 3 жыл бұрын
@@jimb8695 Yes, because he was not ready to heal and accept your love.
@Kareena1988
@Kareena1988 3 жыл бұрын
Damaged people still need to be treated kindly
@heaviniswithin5049
@heaviniswithin5049 3 жыл бұрын
I cried listening to this because it was so on point as an FA. I feel like I am too intense and emotional and it's so hard to be truly vulnerable. I'm constantly Googling my mental 'symptoms' trying to work out what is wrong with me, trying to put labels, convincing myself I have X Y or Z thing wrong with me, googling all my trauma, every little thought pattern, convincing myself I have every mental neurosis that exists, and then I even shame myself for spending so much time thinking about myself and convince myself I'm a narcissist and surely too broken. It's really exhausting to feel you are so defective. And finding it so hard to make boundaries for yourself because you feel unworthy. The shame is so overwhelming. It's a long journey, this reparenting process. If anyone has any practical tips I would love to hear them
@adamwood87
@adamwood87 4 жыл бұрын
Yup, "broken" is the exact word my FA used. What's so strange is she can verbalize that herself, yet if I ask her what she's doing to fix it, I get a "don't try to change me," as if I'm talking to a scolded child.
@ildik9772
@ildik9772 4 жыл бұрын
I am also a FA and I went through what you shared so I thought I would share how I felt when this happened to me and it might help with your situation. (Disclaimer: This is just my own experience and your FA may feel differently) It is hard to feel broken and not know how to deal with it and also feel the pressure that you need to be fixed. I did also feel like I was broken, I knew that I needed to work hard on myself, but it hurt so much when my ex boyfriend asked what am I going to do about it because it meant that he has also seen that I am broken too. Sometimes that question translated to me as: “I acknowledge that you are problematic and I can’t accept you this way. You have to fix something asap.” (Even if he didn't mean it this way!) Even though I didn’t quiet accept myself, I just wanted to feel accepted by him, to feel like I am not that bad as I see myself. So maybe the question was too harsh on her too and it triggered her insecurities also. I would suggest maybe being a bit more sensitive, more attentive about the phrases you use, explain that you don’t necessary want to change her, but you just want to help her feel better about herself.
@hshfyugaewfjkKS
@hshfyugaewfjkKS 4 жыл бұрын
Adam there is nothing more painful to someone who feels broken and recognizes it but be unable to change it. (I used to tell myself that all the time when I started on my healing journey. I had such deep shame around telling myself I was broken). It may also touch on their issues from childhood. An ex was blamed for everything by his parents. So for a person whose parents already made them feel bad about themselves and that they already feel fundamentally flawed, it makes it that much more difficult to admit to oneself that maybe they have some things that need to be worked on. I'd encourage you to phrase the language differently in that you aren't asking her to change but to learn new skills for your relationship. You can also say that you would like to evolve together. That might change the perception for your partner. Maybe verbalize you fully accept where she's at and care about her and yet you believe you can have an even stronger relationship by evolving the coping skills she's created to keep herself safe.
@nachogoatcheese1761
@nachogoatcheese1761 3 жыл бұрын
Its difficult/unlikely one will fix something without the right tools. I'll end up hyper focused on trying to fix other stuff instead because I have/feel I have the tools for those things. Fixing this also means being willing and able to go look at that stuff thats imbedded subconsciously. That isn't ever easy but can be way way way harder depending what rooted it in the first place.
@ptlc
@ptlc 3 ай бұрын
Idk if you’ll ever see this since I’m here 3 years later, Thais, but thank you so much for posting these videos. I’m an FA who was born with a chronic illness. From the day I could remember, I’ve always had people say to me, or about me (in my presence) that I can’t. I didn’t know that I’d built up a lot of shame around it, and I did so much to cope that I’d walk around people pleasing and detaching from emotional distress. They continue to do it today (though, much less to my face) and I’ve long taken to hiding and not connecting to others because I was afraid they’d all see how defective, & not good enough I really was. I unknowingly re-traumatize myself daily, and actually only recently begun to look at my difference as a blessing of sorts. I had no idea that doing this was actually something I should do when these negative feelings came up. These videos make me feel seen. I wish I could meet you and thank you in person from the bottom of my heart. But if I never get that opportunity, please know that I appreciate you sharing these so much. ❤
@AozoraZz
@AozoraZz 4 жыл бұрын
This is so on point. All my life I've always felt different/defective. Its also the excuse I use whenever i feel something for someone. Its like I dont want them to suffer from my presence. Also, I feel no one would love me for who I am, a broken mess. I really hate pretending someone i am not just so people will like me.
@cameranserrano1263
@cameranserrano1263 4 жыл бұрын
As someone in love with a DA, all i can say is be honest with the people closest to you. If you need space, just tell them that it's not about them and you care about them - you just need some time to yourself. You are so not defective, you just want to protect yourself which is normal.
@AozoraZz
@AozoraZz 4 жыл бұрын
@@cameranserrano1263 Thanks you. I guess I just need to be brave. I'm glad to hear there are still some people not hating on all DA's. I wish you all the best.
@cameranserrano1263
@cameranserrano1263 4 жыл бұрын
Ao zora They will not suffer from your presence, they will suffer without it! They want you around cos they love your company. Plus everyone’s different. It’s ok to want some space. I think lots of hate DA’s get is from a lack of communication and people taking their behaviour as an insult. Be brave and honest with the ones you like. Those who don’t understand don’t deserve you anyway. I wish you all the best too!
@loriwhite8501
@loriwhite8501 2 жыл бұрын
@@cameranserrano1263 How do you deal with the ghosting and constant pushing away?
@CommandoMaster
@CommandoMaster Жыл бұрын
This is all great, but at the end of the day, the DA needs to understand this stuff, not the partner. U can try ur best to comfort them, and tell them u like them for who they are, and there's nothing wrong with them, but the DA is always gonna feel like they're defective unless they can internalize the advice of healing their childhood wounds, and grow from there.
@meerkattie
@meerkattie 4 жыл бұрын
How to break up with a DA (or an avoidant FA) without contributing to that core wound of being defective? I’m a FA who’s become a lot more secure in the past months thanks to your videos and your courses. I’ve learned to communicate my own needs and feelings better and my date reacts positively (though she never opens up about how she feels 😕) but still it’s always one step forward three steps back. I’m getting tired. I give her space and I’m in no hurry to define our relationship but it sucks that sometimes even suggesting something simple like a movie night feels like I’m asking too much. I care about her and I sympathise with her issues, but I’ve also learned to care about myself enough to know what I do and don’t want in a relationship and walking on eggshells is not that 😞
@nachogoatcheese1761
@nachogoatcheese1761 3 жыл бұрын
Don't worry about making that wound worse, you cant actually do that. At worst you pull the scabs off.
@roshalllambert
@roshalllambert 3 жыл бұрын
Just say something like I believe we are not a good match for each other. My needs are different from yours so I let's end things between us.
@walkertranger5746
@walkertranger5746 2 жыл бұрын
I can relate to everything you wrote. One step forward and three steps back. I’m in a similar situation. I don’t want to give up on her, but I can’t keep walking on eggshells and being afraid to ask her out on a date. 7 years in the relationship, but she changed and it’s now been about 18 months of this and I’m drained.
@KorinMetz
@KorinMetz 4 жыл бұрын
I am more DA than FA, but I feel my core wound is not that I'm defective, but that I'm unwanted. I have totally done the ignoring emotions thing though. It's put me in bad situations because I didn't acknowledge or express my own discomfort when it was necessary.
@cameranserrano1263
@cameranserrano1263 4 жыл бұрын
Believe me, you are wanted. Sometimes people are scared of their emotions too. and they don't show it. I have an anxious attachment style and i adored a DA once but was just too scared to show it. I think we both kid of liked each other but didn't show it. Miscommunication and misinterpretation is the problem i think, not that you are unwanted :)
@razvanyke
@razvanyke 4 жыл бұрын
There is hope, things will change, you are on the right track.
@PennyJackson123
@PennyJackson123 4 жыл бұрын
I am FA leaning DA and that is my core wound as well.
@honeymoney23
@honeymoney23 4 жыл бұрын
Steps to reprogramming this belief: Where do I shame myself/treat myself like something is wrong with me? Replace that shame with Self-Acceptance. 2. Question the stories you have. Why is it ok to have flaws? Think of people who's flaws are loveable or beautiful. 3. Isolate what you believe/see as defective. Do you see your emotions as weak, shameful, etc? Where did you learn that? 4. Start meeting your own needs. Develop a relationship with yourself. Do reparenting work. Treat your core wounds as you would treat a small wounded child I needed this SO much! Thank you 🙏🏾🙏🏾🤍🤍
@tulip5210
@tulip5210 4 жыл бұрын
Video suggestion: still am interested to see a friend series about FA FA friendships DA DA friendships ect, the one mentioned several months ago >
@Talkinglife
@Talkinglife 4 жыл бұрын
what we believe about our selves is part of our subconscious in rerlationships
@michaeltripoli3799
@michaeltripoli3799 4 жыл бұрын
How can we meet our own needs? You can’t give what you don’t have. If we need something, we don’t have it. That’s why we need it. If you need an apple, you need it because you don’t have an apple. Isn’t it true that we do need other people? Aren’t there things we can get from other people that we can’t give to ourselves, like human contact, physical touch, affirmation from others, compassion, empathy, love from others, etc.? We can’t just love ourselves and have that be enough. If it were enough, these problems wouldn’t exist, right? What if we genuinely believe negative things about ourselves are true? Are we just supposed to use self-affirmations, like Stuart Smalley? I can’t do that. It feels ridiculous & insincere.
@michaeltripoli3799
@michaeltripoli3799 4 жыл бұрын
Thanks for your response.
@Window4503
@Window4503 3 жыл бұрын
It sounds like what you’re looking for is objectivity to this whole thing. As a Christian, the truth about me-that I’m inherently valuable no matter what I or others think-rests in God. Because of him, I am worth something simply because I exist, and the same goes for others. I’m not sure how to give that assurance without God; that’s the only other party besides yourself (who is lacking what you need) and others (who aren’t giving you what you need).
@juliehochstedler2115
@juliehochstedler2115 2 жыл бұрын
I’m amazed at your knowledge. I can’t tell you how much you’ve helped me understand people in general. You have such a sweet disposition that’s so pleasant to receive this information. You can feel your compassion. Thank you for all you do.
@sharmilagajria1053
@sharmilagajria1053 3 жыл бұрын
Yes DA people may be good as friends but in a relationship they can emotionally drain their partner and it is better to walk away. The man that I dated loved his late mother like she was a goddess but his spouse was a horrible woman who got him beaten up by goons. A few months into the relationship I discovered he is a DA. But the point is we all go through very bad phase in life. What we go through in life is probably not our fault but healing ourselves is totally our responsibility. By putting up wall all around yourself is not benefitting you. In the process you are driving away genuine people from your life as every relationship has a saturation point.
@loriwhite8501
@loriwhite8501 2 жыл бұрын
Yes. I don't know how people ever have a relationship with a DA. The constant ghosting and pushing away is so painful. I had to walk away.
@chrisharris6462
@chrisharris6462 Ай бұрын
When the world consistently tells you about your flaws, reframing feels like a cop out or copium. Even the act of telling yourself you need to reframe is an indictment of your truth- and therefore your faulty being as a person.
@charisobservatory
@charisobservatory 4 жыл бұрын
I look forward to watching your videos everyday when I come home from work and I get sth valuable out of each one of them so again, thank you so much for all you do and share for free! This one is a particular gem because it's so clear and concrete on how we stay stuck and retraumatise ourselves. At least for me, I've never seen this so clearly before. Thank you!
@TatiTalks
@TatiTalks 4 жыл бұрын
This video hit me in a tender spot during a rough moment. Made me have new revelations around love, worthiness, and making mistakes. It’s something I still battle often. Especially when I’m hurting, I tend to ruminate on all the things I wish I had done better, all the ways I could have fought harder, etc. Thank you, Thais. ❤️🌻 Sending you and everyone at PDS hugs.
@cathrinekatsigianni8823
@cathrinekatsigianni8823 4 жыл бұрын
Perhaps you could make a video about how childhood traumas are manifested in the body, eg. pain, fear of intimacy etc.
@IronX77
@IronX77 4 жыл бұрын
Great content starts at 4:21
@darray.
@darray. 9 ай бұрын
This video was the validation I needed. Literally the things I just heard on this video are the same things I had journaled from the past two days. Like practicing self acceptance. One of my main traits I shamed myself for is my introversion/ not wanting to stand out, hiding. I realised I was pushing/shaming myself to be more outgoing and open. But it was really hurting my growth because I was doing the same thing my mum did my entire childhood -criticise and punish me over the smallest mistakes which made me feel “defective” so I hide myself so no one can see that I’m flawed. Happens a lot at work. I realise when in relationships if the person is “clingy” it makes me anxious because I’m fearing they’ll find my unworthiness (a collection of things I’ve started to stop attributing to my unworthiness) and see there’s not much that makes me special enough to be worthy of partnership.
@gianxie
@gianxie 2 жыл бұрын
What?! Flaws in ourselves are ok? Mind blown! Seriously, I have never ever considered that as even a remote possibility!
@carrie4231
@carrie4231 4 жыл бұрын
Hey Thais, Thank you so much for sharing your wisdom and experience! Can you make a Video about having parents who are DA or FA or AA and, of course, Secure? Like, how to tell the difference from the „adult child“ perspective and what wounds such up-bringing causes? Much love from Germany xo
@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool
@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool 4 жыл бұрын
kzbin.info/www/bejne/rpKyZYetd9N6mbs
@speciallist3049
@speciallist3049 11 ай бұрын
That was the core of my FA/DA. Even a year into the relationship she would look for validation I liked her. But the form it took wasn't usually "How MUCH do you like me?" but "Do you STILL like me?" and "Do you STILL want to be with me???" and when I'd answer "Of course I like you, I'm nuts about you and like you better every day I spend with you" her reply was ALWAYS astonishment (happy but astonished): "Reeeeallllllyyyyyy????" and I'd reply "How can you even ask, I'm crazy about you you must know that" to which she'd reply "Reeeeaaalllly?" and then say how happy she was and loved to hear it. But the core of the question was surprise that I still liked her not that I liked her. As if, by this time, I'd have discovered her real self and moved on (as I guess men did before). It was sort of heartbreaking.
@mohamedalshammari7693
@mohamedalshammari7693 2 жыл бұрын
I cannot begin to tell you how your content has helped me understand myself better and heal. Wholeheartedly, thank you.
@anniehope8651
@anniehope8651 Жыл бұрын
Wow, I decided to do your program because I think I am dismissive avoidant. In your program, I had to find my core belief. I never knew that 'I am defective' is one of the standard core beliefs that people can have. I have it for many years but I thought it was very specific just for me. I just learned that it is actually quite standard, and I decided to google it, and now I found this video that links it to DA! All pieces of the puzzle seem to fall into place. Thank you so much for making all this information available!
@rebeccacarraway480
@rebeccacarraway480 3 жыл бұрын
“I’m not defective-those a**holes made me think I am…now I gotta fix it!!”
@childoflight3388
@childoflight3388 4 жыл бұрын
There was a movement started in the music industry that talked about being flawless. I can now see how damaging this is. Without our perceived "flaws" we would be boring and inhuman.
@hiddengiftastrology5844
@hiddengiftastrology5844 4 жыл бұрын
Hey Thais, love your videos!! one thing that confuses me about stating my needs as an FA (in a relationship with a DA) is that my deepest need is just to be really seen/understood. when I think about concrete things like gifts, hugs/kisses, words of affirmation in trying times... much of that seems really hollow. I just want someone to "get me" in a way that I completely recognize is impossible. so up til now I've just been working on healing that need within myself instead of pinning that task on another...
@skwerl81
@skwerl81 4 жыл бұрын
For FAs, often one of the main reasons we end up not feeling seen or understood is that we don't ALLOW ourselves to be - often trying to be 'perfect' or a certain way to please others, meanwhile not being our true selves. The remedy to wanting to feel seen and understood is to be our complete and vulnerable selves - easier said than done :)
@Kareena1988
@Kareena1988 3 жыл бұрын
Topic starts at 4:35
@elsewherehouse
@elsewherehouse Жыл бұрын
" I am a dented can of the off brand"
@Ashikabi.
@Ashikabi. 4 жыл бұрын
DA: I'm defective :'( FA: oh yeah sherlock?
@nachogoatcheese1761
@nachogoatcheese1761 3 жыл бұрын
FA: of course, everyone is but my defects are worse.
@darrylyusko8615
@darrylyusko8615 4 жыл бұрын
Glad I found your channel Thias! I was just rejected/broken up with a woman who I believe has an avoidant/dismissive attachment style. I thought I attracted another narcissist...! But, she had some empathy. I identify as a fearful avoidant and an empath. Issues are, I accepted this break up, still couldn’t figure her out after 3 mo of hot, heavy dating and sex then, when I said I felt disrespected by her abruptly leaving a cook out party w/ my friends last week.., I called her out on her disrespect and was dumped... Wow! Really avoided getting into deep feeling conversations and keeping our dating light & fun, I unmasked my attachment style. Revealed my vulnerability. Now ghosted... Need some advice. TY in advance.
@nwandoe3599
@nwandoe3599 4 жыл бұрын
Looking good! Nice new camera! And maybe new umbrella light??!?!?! I always shame myself for embarrassing comments. lol Meanwhile everyone else forgot and moved on with their lives
@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool
@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool 4 жыл бұрын
Always trying new stuff... happy you like it! - PDS team member
@sunshinestar6076
@sunshinestar6076 3 жыл бұрын
I am always fabbergasted to see how much knowledge you have on this topic Thais!
@SedaliaDental
@SedaliaDental 4 жыл бұрын
Video idea: Understanding our attachment style in adulthood and how to discuss what we have learned with our parents. Thank you! You're great!
@razvanyke
@razvanyke 4 жыл бұрын
This video is absolutely on point, like usually. Thank you very much for the wisdom
@BeautyWithinKakra
@BeautyWithinKakra 4 жыл бұрын
As always thank you Thais + team 💕
@equalitarianbiologist2327
@equalitarianbiologist2327 4 жыл бұрын
Hi @Personal Development School - Thais Gibson . I would like to ask if it is possible for you to add SUBTITLES 🙏🏻 to this videos? Because I do more easily catch the deep learning contexts when listening and reading, while pausing and writing down notes. It's old school, i know. But through the hand = through the spirit. Anyways, I would really love that if you've got spare time - appreciate your elaborate details about these different painful core wounds.
@nachogoatcheese1761
@nachogoatcheese1761 3 жыл бұрын
KZbin has a CC option. Its not perfect but helpful.
@ShadowSis
@ShadowSis 4 жыл бұрын
Thank you, Thais & co. ♥️♥️!
@reneel.310
@reneel.310 4 жыл бұрын
Such truly valuable information 🤍
@Lilasun
@Lilasun 3 жыл бұрын
Thank you Thais and team
@nataliaestrella8609
@nataliaestrella8609 4 жыл бұрын
Can you do a video on how to process a break up with a DA if you are an FA and want to actually commit to that decision?
@nataliaestrella8609
@nataliaestrella8609 4 жыл бұрын
And also more content on adhd and reprogramming self-sabotage as it relates to romantic relationships, because that is when my adhd is the most pervasive and I let everything good in my life fall by the wayside to prove my worth to the person I am chasing.
@Pinkfrosting962
@Pinkfrosting962 4 жыл бұрын
You just described codependency in a nutshell. Not adhd.
@nataliaestrella8609
@nataliaestrella8609 4 жыл бұрын
@@Pinkfrosting962 so should I tell my psychiatrist that the diagnosis was wrong after four yrs? I struggle with concentration, executive functioning, and memory recall no matter what my life situation is. Relationships just diminish my self-worth even more.
@Pinkfrosting962
@Pinkfrosting962 4 жыл бұрын
I’m not saying you don’t have adhd. But I’m saying that you’re describing codependency. Codependency can be healed.
@beautifuldreama8714
@beautifuldreama8714 4 жыл бұрын
Hi Thais. An interesting topic I would like to hear about is racism. What leads people to be racist? Is it a mental illness or simply fear or both or other things, too? Please and thank you. I have my opinion on it..but would like to hear an educated perspective.
@equalitarianbiologist2327
@equalitarianbiologist2327 4 жыл бұрын
An alternative could be Teal Swan about racism. She's white, but spiritual and definitely not racist. She's brave and logical, non-discriminative, is my perception.
@amycoker1274
@amycoker1274 2 жыл бұрын
I'm an FA with a DA. I'm using your resources as help for my past trauma. He is closed and frustrated. He has said several times I need to be careful with what he has in his "closet". He had a violent childhood and is a 3 war tour vet with years of combat. He truly believes he has mostly no feelings and isn't capable of growth. How can I encourage him to try? If he can't try, I don't know if I can get my needs met.
@kcoleman1008
@kcoleman1008 4 жыл бұрын
Can you do a video on how Covid-19 and quarantining affects each attachment style?
@JeffSherlock
@JeffSherlock 3 ай бұрын
Working to ad another twenty pages to the diagnostic manual?
@pinkette
@pinkette 4 жыл бұрын
Do you think you could make a more detailed version of the attachment test for people in the school please? I found the questions a bit too vague and couldn't answer properly so I'm almost equal FA, AA, and secure. =/ Also omg excited to get started on shadow work!
@highsez934
@highsez934 3 ай бұрын
I can understand DA except if they become so close to you then distanced themselves suddenly and not saying anything, it's kinda rude tbh and left you feeling confused
@JinKee
@JinKee 4 жыл бұрын
Is there a video for the anxious avoidant core wound?
@cavelleardiel
@cavelleardiel 4 жыл бұрын
I think it will be done for tomorrow. If you can afford it I would definitely take her courses. They are pure gold
@sethlupianez7272
@sethlupianez7272 4 жыл бұрын
Is there a degree or something I could study to find out more about this
@sethlupianez7272
@sethlupianez7272 4 жыл бұрын
How you gon like it but not help lmfaoo
@moulee7448
@moulee7448 3 жыл бұрын
Thankyou🥰🥰🥰🥰
@kinganarkzie
@kinganarkzie 5 ай бұрын
07:35 repeat
@chrisharris6462
@chrisharris6462 Ай бұрын
This is a very gynecentric video. How does one truly accept and integrate? Loving relationships are not available to most men.
@swarnalidas5292
@swarnalidas5292 3 жыл бұрын
Are DAs lazy or do they feel lethargic in doing simple things like changing their DP or going to a salon or talking about themselves or accepting and giving gifts ??
@charlie5115
@charlie5115 3 жыл бұрын
I'm wondering this too, tho I think it's bc I'm a DA suffering from depression. Is one of the reasons why feel so tired so easily because we spend so much of our energy ignoring/repressing our feelings and hiding ourselves from being really seen?
@nachogoatcheese1761
@nachogoatcheese1761 3 жыл бұрын
The fear of doing it wrong/not getting it perfect can be draining or even like... Freezing.
@luckymay888
@luckymay888 10 ай бұрын
7:04
@CosmicHealingGoddess
@CosmicHealingGoddess 3 жыл бұрын
♥️♥️♥️🙌🏻
@lior.vibefeeler9500
@lior.vibefeeler9500 3 жыл бұрын
Can you be more than one attachment style?
@dclarke2179
@dclarke2179 3 жыл бұрын
Yes you can be one attachment style leaning a another
@lior.vibefeeler9500
@lior.vibefeeler9500 3 жыл бұрын
@@dclarke2179 thank you
@wkrapek
@wkrapek 4 жыл бұрын
DA here. I’ve sort of flipped this. I now think the world’s defective. Truly, profoundly screwed up. I just shrug my shoulders now and BUILD THAT WALL. I’m just so happy I had the common sense to never trust anyone.
@skylar1727
@skylar1727 4 жыл бұрын
10:00 is when the really good content comes. Love your flaws.
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