WHY THE INFJ CAN’T FIND A PARTNER

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INFJ Life Coach Lesson: Discover the top five reasons why INFJs struggle to find a partner. As someone who spent years single before finding love, I've noticed a common pattern among my fellow INFJs. It's not about feeling sorry for ourselves or giving up on our needs - there's a deeper reason behind our relationship challenges. Join me as we explore the unique experiences of being an INFJ in the dating world.
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[@Wenzes]

What is your experience when it comes to dating as an INFJ?

[@KingDomsKingdom85]

Hard, extremely. We all want to find our soul mate, and we often attract the wrong people who end up exploiting our naturally kind nature.

[@corporaterobotslave400]

I quit. Mostly due to the societal sabotages called Feminism, Wokeism, and Public Education. These are all carefully crafted in order to stifle procreation. After I get my passport I hope to never return to the US; it is a purposely planned failing institution. May God be with those other wise gentlemen who come to the same conclusion.

[@TroyPosey]

My experience dating? Pretty much nonexistent, yet, mixed entirely with heartbreak. 🤦🏼🤦🏼🤦🏼

[@sev801]

I am a 28 year old female, and I have never dated, nor have I ever wanted romantic relationships. I consider myself married to my work as a writer, and I greatly prefer solitude and my own company.

[@TiltedTilterGaming]

37, still single and for the longest time it was great but then when I started to get somewhere with my goals and realized I wish I had someone to celebrate those wins with.

[@Foretoldfate489]

We're just diffferent. We love our space, too intense, virtuous, not traditional and look/need for depth, connection and intimacy.

[@TheDucatiBaddie]

🎯🎯🎯

[@otternowl6546]

I am ok with being single, yet I do also wish there was a man for me, a true partner without any games or immaturity…

[@christihigashi5078]

Same!!!

[@TiltedTilterGaming]

There are real men out there, don’t give up hope.

[@litpath3633]

makes me want to make a dating site that doesn't suck. like browsing a catalog of hot or not pictures

[@vivianeprudentiabuelens9142]

Yes Thad would be nice ‼️ 4:24

[@dant.1028]

Dating websites and apps are the absolute wasteland of dating. Full of liars, cons and bots.

[@studylive99]

I only remain in a relationship with someone if being with them is more enjoyable than being single otherwise i don't mind solitude.

[@thepragmatist]

Exactly. The person has to add value to your life (and vice-versa).

[@studylive99]

@@thepragmatist Yes, like my boyfriend and I pray we get married. Such a wonderful man.

[@thepragmatist]

@@studylive99 Good for you. Glad you found someone you care about and who cares about you!

[@mingyufloofy157]

Heavy on this! So far, all yhey gave were problems (overthinking, stress induced bruising and skin problems, insomnia, and the list goes on lmao)

[@Emperor_Nagrom]

Used to be like this, but found the love of my life 10 years ago. She's an ENFJ, and we just had our first kid together in December. There's hope for all of you.

[@sara.the.muggle]

There's something special about Enfjs 😊

[@staciehaneline9533]

That's wonderful! Congratulations!

[@bumblebee_ms]

You're very lucky!!!

[@gailnichols842]

INFJ female here - married an ENFJ widower. We have the most amazing marriage.

[@sues6847]

It isn't that we can't find partners...it's that we have to accept that others won't understand us but we love them in spite of it.

[@TheMiro59]

That is exactly the truth. I have been married for 45 years now. It has not been always easy, but we as INFJ are able to dive deep and understand the purpose of the life. I thank my wife for both happiness and also the "wisdom" she brought to my life. It is easy to help people who help us, it is easy to love people who love us :-). INFJs are able to help those people who refuse them and love those people who hate them, because we are able to understand their mistaks in their motivations.

[@sues6847]

@@TheMiro59 You understand what I mean. No matter who you are love is more powerful than any of us. No one knows everything....including us. There will always be another point of view that we need to consider even when we don't see it outright. We aren't perfection. No one is.

[@GrafinVonHopper]

​​@@rnedlo9909Your comment is interesting because that was exactly what I was meditating on today about relationships. I'm 33 years old and I'm a woman who has never dated. I think what would really be a nightmare for me is not being able to fully show myself as I am to my future spouse. Knowing that I need to continue hiding certain thoughts, feelings and things that are so deep about me for fear of not being understood or misinterpreted by someone I love so intimately would be like a curse for me. Plus, I also have my introverted side where sometimes I just want to be alone for a while. Sometimes, I confess that I can't imagine if there would be a right person who could understand and respect me at the level I need, but I am a person who believes in God and His purpose. I know that He can send a man like that and that I just need to trust in the Lord for it. Furthermore, I'm happy to know that I'm not the only person dealing with these issues or experiencing these dilemmas.😅

[@myhalflifecrisis]

I’m lucky I’m actually married to another INJF. It’s very rare and liberating, because we can truly be ourselves and understand each other. We’ve been together for 20 years and married for about almost 14.

[@bumblebee_ms]

I'm so jealous (in a good way).

[@thepragmatist]

Nice. Congratulations! That's a big deal!

[@Sara.4444.]

Way to go!❤

[@adverteasing]

Do you have kiddos?

[@myhalflifecrisis]

@@adverteasing I do, a daughter 👧🏻

[@thepragmatist]

I'm a 55 year old INFJ woman. (single, never married, no children). I love my solitude and I'm so fortunate to have built a worthwhile life. I'm careful who I let in because I worked so hard for so many years to create what I have. If I meet someone whom I click with, that's great. If I don't, that's fine too. I don't let just anyone in. It's so important to me to get to know people over time.

[@professora.9603]

I've always been attracted to and attracted broken people, so I've pulled back like; " Lets reevaluate and see what's wrong with me." I get more done alone.

[@Archangel8Dre]

All the like minded Infj's in the comments an we still single. 😅

[@LaEstrella2006]

I used to want to find a partner until I went through tumultuous relationships and spent a few years single. I actually prefer it now.

[@bumblebee_ms]

I stopped looking too, but I dislike the loneliness.

[@mattdonlan7745]

I married a very toxic person and stayed for 20 years. I finally left when I met another INFJ. We work together because we both understand what the other is thinking, feeling, and needing. We both work from home, yet we both have our own spaces within the house so we don't even interact except when we cross in the kitchen, and when we hang out in the evenings. It's a great balance. We still have our challenges, but they all seem manageable now. We get to be ourselves in a safe environment. It's great.

[@ksquid1457]

I'm jelly

[@bumblebee_ms]

I can't even make friends, let alone find a partner. I'm starting to lose all hope at my age.

[@BigTexan7]

I know what you mean. I'm 45 and have never been married. My entire identity has been as a support system for my mother and siblings and now that they're getting their own lives in order and starting families and careers, I feel aimless and alone.

[@bumblebee_ms]

@BigTexan7 I'm truly sorry, it sux growing up with needy people. I too feel really alone.

[@faolanliath6687]

God had mercy on me and sent my enfj mate. Together 42 yrs married 35. She's a saint and knows not to let strangers pet her infj. ❤️🐺❤️

[@KingDomsKingdom85]

I love this. Congratulations, mate. I'd give anything to find a soul mate.

[@faolanliath6687]

@@KingDomsKingdom85 thank you. I hope you do too.

[@KingDomsKingdom85]

@@faolanliath6687 I really appreciate that, buddy. Thank you, eternally. 🙂🙏🤞

[@marsvsvenus6256]

Hmm. Would you recommend joining a group of enfjs?

[@faolanliath6687]

@@marsvsvenus6256 perhaps? It works for us at least bc we're a lot alike, though she's a ppl person. she's very understanding that I burn out quickly with socializing. As far as I'm aware, she's the only enfj that I know. Not sure if another would have had the ware with all to hang in there as, in my case, you have to add PTSD to a complicated infj personality. I don't like to put too much into the myer Briggs bc even in a similar group we're all different. But it makes sense for us as a couple at least.

[@FrisbeeGirl]

We just like being single. It's easier and more fulfilling than it is for most others.

[@KingDomsKingdom85]

I don't, I want a soul mate. We're hopeless romantics as INFJ's.

[@FrisbeeGirl]

@@KingDomsKingdom85One can be physically single and yet have a soulmate. They are not mutually exclusive.

[@KingDomsKingdom85]

@@FrisbeeGirl but what about our deep desire for romance?

[@DearYoungerSelf111]

​@KingDomsKingdom85 How do you define romance? I am enamored and in love with beauty - I satisfy this desire through people but also thru art - self expression - etc. - We may have to expand our mind on how this desire can be met -

[@KingDomsKingdom85]

@@DearYoungerSelf111 excellent point, well made. I guess by romance, I was mainly meaning affection and being tactile with your significant other, if you have one.

[@Twinkie989]

So glad to be leaving the bad person I was stuck with for over 2 decades. Being alone is wonderful.

[@GreenWizardPTR]

This era sucks. People who were already shallow 10 years ago, are surface slugs nowadays, so the gap you talk about deepens every day. I really feel like i'm stuck on planet of the apes on a daily basis, or that idiocracy movie. I'm quite good looking too, it matters. But when it comes to dating, people are just so uninteresting, that I must mirror it straight back to them and they go away. Plus, I know some people may disagree, but what you are saying is easier for women than for men INFJ. Because of all the recent man/woman dynamics that plague modern dating world. I'm thankful for dogs, and their unconditional love.

[@cherylberk4593]

I am a woman and agree with you completely.

[@Madamchief]

Concur

[@Archangel8Dre]

The Idiocracy Movie.. sheesh 😂

[@Brigantia11]

It's not too convenient to have a dog but I definitely need one for the reasons you describe above. I feel so hopeless at 35.

[@HaleyMary]

I agree with you. Everyone seems stuck on their phones all the time and it feels like my generation don't even know how to communicate. You'd think that riding the bus often would present lots of opportunities to meet people and have conversations, but every time I see guys on the bus they are always buried in their phones. Do men even care to approach women anymore?

[@Newgrist]

I've always wanted to find someone but spending time in the presence of people is more and more exhausting as the years pass.

[@xjennrose]

This! It's so draining :/

[@cynthiajohnson9412]

I hear ya. There is far, far, far too much noise out there.

[@UltimateStaredown]

Realizing the idol doesn't exist and starting happy and authentic helps so much. Then find someone emotionally independent. After some good dates with my wife, in the FIRST month we went for a walk in a park and talked about the big five topics to gauge compatibility: Kids, Money, "Intimacy", Religion, Life Goals. All compatible. Perhaps not the most romantic, but not a single fight in 15 happy years!

[@carolinebrown8965]

My mate has to have some serious depth.

[@DiscoDreamcast]

I'm an INFJ man and I've been looking on dating apps for a decade and haven't found anything.. constantly rejected, by my family, by women, by people who i'm trying to befriend. I'm constantly alone, I wish I had one person to talk to..

[@ngolowisdom4286]

The only one you can trust is Lord

[@233kosta]

Get you a motorbike, come along for a ride. It'll be just us weirdos hanging out.

[@Itsuser_1234]

@@ngolowisdom4286actually 200 years ago Charles Darwin proved we evolved and religion is a lie. Since then there is undeniable evidence that there is no god. So stop gaslighting.

[@SubvertTheState]

​@@233kostawhat he said. I've been forced to find peace and contentment alone. I bought a motorcycle last year and ride it as often as I can, I actually look forward to going to work now haha. But if you are an average guy, dating apps won't work at all for you. I'm a moderately handsome man I would say...but that's not enough when lined up next to thousands of other men, some of them who show yachts or jets on their Instagram pages. Unless you're looking to be treated like a utility, resource or entertainment for someone else...Give up the dating apps. Your best bet is hopefully meeting someone in real life, then you cannot act interested. Only after she is curious about you should you start making moves.

[@Eclectic8]

Do NOT, as a man, put any faith in finding someone online! (This is not to detract from the many good INFJ insights presented in the video.) Instead, get involved with an in-person co-ed group/community around a particular interest/hobby/practice. Something you enjoy and that you are or can become good at. Unless you're superfically highly attractive, women will generally only develop an interest in you after a period of watching you in person. Making that happen in a context where you are demonstrating high competence at something catalyzes that process. In any case, best luck to everyone. It's tough no matter what.

[@Candyliz2003]

We can find partners... We're just figuring out that so many of what's in front of us and available is often one of those nasty narcissists that we attract! I'm done with it! I love my friends and family members who aren't toxic, and, living my best, epic life on MY terms!

[@roman_kofyno]

That 3rd point is also called "all-in" behaviour - and we´re doing it in many things, not only when it comes to relationships.

[@PLHogan]

67 Year old INFJ. We can find partners and since we can be a chameleon we adapt to who they are. Unfortunately as another poster put it we attract extremely narcissistic people, like we have a sign on our forehead that says "Use me". I have given up on finding a partner to live with but the universe looks out for fools and INFJ's and i found a female INFJ that has become by best friend but that was only recently. Since we are both INFJ's we communicate clearly and neither one of us are offened by what the other person says because we bot know it comes from a logical point of view rather than from a jealous or vindictive tone. Neither one of us also are looking for a partner to live with. I wish all of you the best. Namaste

[@Ann-_Musick]

After so much struggles I now own a new house and my family is happy once again everything is finally falling into place!!

[@erni192]

I'm 37 and have been looking for ways to be successful, please how??

[@Ann-_Musick]

Thanks to my co-worker (Alex) who suggested Ms Claudia Vecchi Nese .

[@Ann-_Musick]

She's a licensed broker in the states 🇺🇸

[@Ann-_Musick]

After I raised up to 325k trading with her I bought a new House and a car here in the states 🇺🇸🇺🇸 also paid for my son's surgery (Oscar). Glory to God.shalom.

[@DilipBansal-br1ve]

God is more than enough for us, and his mercy is new every morning. Hallelujah🎉🎉🎉♥️

[@webeburnin333]

I spent 15 years looking for the right partner and I hated the whole process. But recently I found an ENFP which is apparently our perfect match and our relationship is SOOOO wholesome and healthy!

[@michaelr2454]

Are you comfortable being with an extrovert? Aren't they noisy sometimes?

[@briancossey4773]

It isn't that we can't "make" connections, it is just that a true/real connection will be there or it won't. Trying to impose our desire for a connection can (and usually does) result in a wrong road taken with nothing but heartache and/or resentment in the end. Becoming comfortable with who and what we are is necessary for any INFJ to even be able to coexist with other people; trying to force/bs ourselves into believing there's something there that isn't becomes a betrayal of ourselves at our most fundamental level. This is just a matter of being true to who and what we are.

[@DearYoungerSelf111]

❤ - An elevated way of considering our romantic desire

[@syedanargis616]

Wenzes, you are a blessing to the infj world, amazing perspectives. My sincere prayer is always with you 🙏🙏

[@packyhubbard1]

Damn, this cut right to my heart. So much to digest. I’ve always been a romantic, so that yearning for that romance has been within me forever (I remember always having a crush- since kindergarten). It’s hard to reexamine such a core part of my identity

[@KingDomsKingdom85]

I'm exactly the same, mate, and always have been, too. We are known as the hopeless romantics who are desperate for a soulful connection with a woman.

[@sunshinesunflowerz1647]

Here, here as the female counterpart.

[@randigerber1926]

Great video! Re: #2. Until I was about 60 years old, I had never thought about what my values are. I just assumed I knew them, and that they were the values taught and modeled by my family and close community. Then, someone asked me about my values, and when I finally understood the concept, a light bulb went off in my head. That was a HUGE moment for me. I realized that my values are NOT those of my parents, siblings, and community. I am NOT them, and that's where so much conflict and disappointment was sourced. I am me, an INFJ. I could actually make a chart with 2 columns: (1) what I believe and like, and (2) what is non acceptable to me. That led to more self-respect and self-acceptance. That self-awareness was life-changing for me. Thanks!

[@sunshinesunflowerz1647]

Realizing this at 40. It's never too late to reestablish. 🩷

[@craigbarrett2278]

My ex was a narcissist. Still broken. Married 15 years, divorced 11. My intuition tried to warn me all those years ago.... Now that im more personally aware, i can see forward and decide it's not for me. Ill wait. 😂

[@sara.the.muggle]

I met my Enfj husband 16 years ago. We have two kiddos who are introverted like me. He is a great dad and husband. I've heard horror stories about dating in this era. I hope that for people that do want a relationship, to meet someone who will love and care for them like no other.

[@user-mn6sq3is4t]

❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

[@bumblebee_ms]

I love your story and crave it for me.

[@mokari9268]

Never leave a decision to anybody else, great advice.

[@Darima2]

You described it perfectly being an INFJ who refuses just to be with anybody. I suspect for those who did, it was very unhealthy. . I, as a woman, have often wondered why I just won't settle for someone, anyone halfway decent with a job , like I see so many women (and sometimes men) do, especially because I want kids. I am often told that people can't believe that I'm still single because I have so much going for me and attract men, get stared at a lot. Because quite frankly, a woman doesn't have to be anything special to get a man, it's, really not that hard. But people seem to want all women to just settle by 30 no matter what... And we all see how that tends to turn out. I don't believe in that, I take marriage seriously, I want to feel deep down that when I say I Do, that I feel that that person is truly the person for me, that I'm genuinely committed to, excited to be with, share with, etc. I realize many people just.. Pick somebody, anybody. It explains a lot. But no one seems to understand when I tell them I'm looking to feel that soulmate connection, to connect both intellectually, emotionally and spiritually, while being physically attracted. Otherwise, what's the point? Just to not be alone? I enjoy my alone time and I want a partner, but like you said, only if they add something rather than take away. I can tell by people's eyes that they literally don't understand what I mean because I've realized that in the late 20s, early 30s, many people do the musical chair scramble, looking to find a chair, any chair that they can get just to get married and start popping out kids. I come from a culture that pushes that super hard, like be married by 25 and start having kids right away. I'm definitely a mix of modern and traditional and 'wifey' type and feminine who wants a masculine man but I'm also very independent, have self - respect and self esteem so finding that man that respects both those modern and traditional elements, without me having to change myself, rather than be authentic, is difficult. Most men are looking for one, or the other, not someone who embodies both, and I can sense that.

[@madhere0990]

Same conundrum here . I’m 33 now and realising it may or may never happen . But , I’ve noticed , *NTJ men are the ones who can handle the strength and softness and intelligence of an INFJ woman . Followed by open minded *STJ men . These personalities also offer stability and security .Somehow I’ve never connected with the other types .

[@bumblebee_ms]

HAPPY EASTER WENZES, AND THE WHOLE INFJ CLAN!!!!

[@BassGodPantheon]

The problem I’ve found with dating apps is they lock you into age groups. I myself personally don’t date in my age group. I’ve been blessed with extra ordinary youth and I’d like to keep it that way.

[@cherylberk4593]

You are correct, to say nothing of the liars, narcs, and manipulators.

[@semiautomatiff]

you sound like a gross creep

[@alisoncanty1894]

Yes! I hate this aspect of online dating!

[@keithparker1346]

​@@alisoncanty1894imo the worst aspect of online dating is that it encourages the silly idea that people are more attracted by your interests and personality than your looks

[@Darima2]

Can't you use filters to expand to ages you're open to? But I get what you mean, I have people regularly shocked by my age including 20 somethings who think I'm one of them😂. So it would be annoying to be judged by age especially as a woman because I have always gotten approached by men younger than me my whole life when I just wanted men my age😅

[@losslessthoughts]

I'm an INFJ with a touch of high functioning autism (diagnosed). I am destined to be alone but that is ok because I love to be alone lol

[@dbraymore]

I found one, I was married to her for 21 years and experienced what people are supposed to. The simple fact is, no matter how much I wanted her or anyone else for that matter to have good honest intentions she and the majority of other people simply don't. I have been single for a few years now and am quickly loosing interest in the idea of having a life partner, the struggle and the pitfalls are just to much, the reward does not come close to matching the effort.

[@keithparker1346]

I think the life partner thing is so silly. We are not really wired to tolerate other people in a close relationship for more than a few years at most. Don't worry if you have many short relationships

[@gregthomas1346]

A person can live alone , alone doesn't mean lonely , and to grow spiritually alone is required

[@Symphonia1983]

First of all get your self settled with your life before you meet someone so that the person doesn't have to save you from your trouble. Let this person that you meet also have settled with their life. Then no one will be draging the other person around.

[@keithparker1346]

I'm infp and trust me I don't think I'm EVER going to be settled. Why put off a relationship until you're perfect? I would advise that you become aware of your lines in the sand very quickly however to save you some grief but if you're going to sit at home waiting until your single life becomes perfect you'll be waiting a long time

[@Symphonia1983]

@@keithparker1346 I deffinitely agree with you, i have been struggling to find who i am as a person myself and it wasn't longer than couple of months ago i stumbled up video's on youtube about Sigma and the Myers Briggs personality types. I am an INTP with a Heyoka empath personality, and it took me 40 years to just discover that. I can see that there are some very similarity with other types like the INFJ because we get same things to go through. I am astonished that there are people who really work with this daily. I like to analyze things that is important to know and that not many think about. Now when i know myself more than before perhaps i can be in a good use to something interesting and evolving. With my abilities that i have i believe that it can be used for research and human growth to make the focus more on how to live a life without abundance with stress and low fatigue. I realized that we as people have already so much to discover and how to beat the system who is always going to make us be more adicted to their power. I am a life hacker in this way and i believe that it can be useful for many out there who are tired of going after status quo. To be more percieving and to understand what it can help us to achieve our goals better by forging the catalyst that works for our personality the most.

[@user-mn6sq3is4t]

Everyone is dating expert nowadays on Internet that's the issue

[@marsvsvenus6256]

Trying to find a person who is stimulating intellectually. I think I need that to shut out some of the many bits of information that I try to process that is most times useless. I think having a partner will help me to stay more focused.

[@user-tz5oq1tt9x]

This video came right on time. You describe me to a tee and your insights are helpful as always!

[@loganplonski922]

What you said about showing up authentically every day of your life really did work for me. When I'm fully living in the moment and expressing myself openly, then I can have great conversations with everyone I meet and feel fulfilled no matter where I go.

[@jennifergodwin29]

#4 is so key to me right now. I’m finally in a space within myself to do this happily and with a peaceful feeling which is new. I finally am whole inside of me rather than feeling like I’m lacking so am able to learn myself and a life for myself. All the other points are key too and so spot on. We got this tribe!! Great direction here!! Thank you 🌸

[@rubirose196]

This is so good. Thank you so much

[@TroyPosey]

Pretty much accepted the fact I’ll be alone forever… 😞😞😞

[@bumblebee_ms]

I feel the same.

[@webeburnin333]

Noooo, try and find an ENFP! Apparently our perfect match. My ENFP is amazing, I finally found her after 33 years 😭

[@bumblebee_ms]

I don't know where to find him personally.

[@sandramsimango9526]

No do not give up hope❤

[@MonikaDaddarwal]

so spot on, Wenzes. love yaaaa.

[@MykolaKindrat]

Love this video! Makes so much sense!

[@xxAmyliaxx1xx]

i needed to hear this so much. Thank you 💜xxx

[@grasshoppertown]

"So great at understanding things without really living them out:)"

[@Jaanvi.Thakur]

Absolutely loved this! Great insights!

[@GigaChad_169]

I'm an INTJ but a lot of your videos are so helpful. This one is a chef's kiss. Almost spooky how well you understand human psychology and in particular Ni dominant psychology.

[@stairwayscare5205]

I got married very young in life. I decided I wanted to marry him when I was 19 years old. He is an ISFJ. We are so different in many ways, but I find that it works well to see things from different perspectives.

[@user-mn6sq3is4t]

ISFJ means can you please explain😢😢😢😢

[@Levntna]

When I think about it, it's pretty normal for an INFJ to struggle matching with a partner It's part of our journey and what we are.

[@giovannisalamon2706]

I have just learned about INFJ today, and while I may not identify as such, I find that your videos resonate allot with me and it's like it speaking straight to my soul. You sound like you know what you are talking about.

[@amorosogombe9650]

Pretty good advice. It's good to be clear about what you want first. Then you'll even be able to recognise them when they turn up.

[@atomicwilderbeast1]

incredibly good advice, i really appreciate it, thank you

[@blueturquoisett8448]

The persons I choose to love don’t love me back the way I love them. I love deeply and almost unconditionally. I think my intensity scares them away ❤

[@EllieM_Travels]

I like myself just fine and I’m as authentic as I’ve ever been. Doesn’t mean I’ve connected with a match. I’m not attracted to men who want me, and men I want are unavailable.

[@meriliscott2708]

This is such amazing advice

[@ranichow]

Wow! You really spoke out my thoughts which I was struggling to spell properly. Thank you so much ❤

[@HaleyMary]

When it comes to showing people who we are right away, I have done that in the past. I'm a nerd who writes quantum physics spirituality mystic poetry and I'm open about my spiritual beliefs, yet time and time again, when guys realize that I actually believe in that spiritual, mystical, quantum, new age stuff, they act surprised and lose interest. I guess it's good in a way because that just means I'm weeding out the guys who don't understand me, but it does get lonely.

[@Sionapink48]

I know how you feel dear continue to indulge in your own hobbies that bring you peace. There is a special someone out there for you. Peace and blessings 🤍🤍🤍

[@goontubeassos7076]

I’m a 49 yr old man, I’ve never had to date. Nor have I tried, women seem to be lined up already to get into a relationship with me.

[@mojoknows66]

Don't know if I am a pure INFj, but I align with a lot of the traits/wants/desires you talk about. Great information that will help me have a better life.

[@jolenefernandes6916]

Exceellent💯

[@Roltereen86]

1:30 REASON #1 Social inhabition 5:08 REASON #2 INFJs are a mismatch to most people 9:41 REASON #3 We crave deep connections 13:40 REASON #4 We idolize our potential partners 17:02 REASON #5 We put too much weight on a relationship

[@keithparker1346]

I'd disagree with 5

[@MrSoy_]

This is a great video.

[@debraatkerson3150]

Wow fantastic video! I wish I had this information years ago! Not necessarily for dating but for friendships as well. Most of my friends think I am an extrovert. Not!

[@j.k.cascade2057]

This was good thanks.

[@nathancolegrove3066]

#5 has definitely been a lifelong predicament for me

[@stephenbesley3177]

I've always been single although I have tried to solve the impasse. I'm at a point in life I really don't care anymore

[@Kaelus41]

Really appreciate all of your content Wenzes 🙏 Been listening for almost a year.

[@kan0762]

You are looking lovely wenzes .. tc

[@SamsonPavlov]

Indeed...

[@larrygipson1894]

I was single for 3 years dated for a year she ended up being a covert narcissist and then single almost 3 years again now. For me it's I believe people are better than they are I give benifit of the doubt. I go to limits to understand her and show love and respect and I expect a little reciprocity. Facts are my infj brothers and sisters. People are mean uncaring selfish egotistical thank there better and lie cheat and steal. We are few and far between and I am ok being alone but I'd be lying if I didn't say it's taking it's toll especially as I'm laying down to bed now and it feels well it doesn't feel good. Love you all

[@reinamiyabi]

Thank you, I needed this videos right now 🥺 It's not easy but I will try to end up my affective dependance behaviours... 😢

[@TeamCAE]

My problem is that I am too real/authentic and too healthy... when you´ve been through some unhealthy relationships you spot red flags very fast... now I realize how many toxic people are out there...

[@Jo-um3kb]

When I was younger I was convinced I was going to be single forever because although I was interested in guys they were never interested in me in return. I think it was because I was introverted and shy around them. Then a week after I turned 25 I met this guy and knew I was going to end up with him. We’ve now been together almost 19 years. Since finding out I am an INFJ and understanding myself and why I am the way I am a lot more, I feel like he understands me a lot better too.

[@mikeriggins5455]

Thanks!

[@Love10_22]

Thank You

[@Frostypaws555]

ENFP here! We love you INFJs, you are loved and important! 🥰

[@user-ic2kk5vf4o]

Truth be Told : Mona Wenzes

[@monetpetals86]

Who gonna make the INFJ dating app?

[@sunshinesunflowerz1647]

🤔

[@vj.joseph]

Me?

[@vj.joseph]

only on popular request thoo.. i might try.

[@uncorkthemic5587]

❤️‍🔥

[@Darima2]

Yes an app based on the Myers Briggs personalities where you could filter by type. That's way more accurate than these astrological signs everyone is obsessed with

[@BeholdIamaNewCreation]

Hey Wenzes, lifetime fan, occasional browser, part time critic. I wanted to ask if you'd consider adding chapters (timestamps) to your videos. It would help me navigate your videos better. Much love and respect.

[@Daniel-on8gm]

Thank you

[@usernowhere4292]

Before dealing with the problem of finding someone, I have the luxury to deal with a fearful avoidant attachment style and other psycho issues that my mother gifted me.

[@keithparker1346]

Don't worry I'm sure your mother can easily blame her mother and so on

[@usernowhere4292]

@@keithparker1346 I'm sure you don't know my mother to be sure of anything about her. My mother blames me, not her mother, for existing. I've nothing to be worried about.

[@Symphonia1983]

Maybe we are just to alienated or just to detached from others. If we are just too much of a giving and people pleasers we will be lonewolfs for the rest of our lifes. We expose ourselves too fast.

[@sunset9729]

We attract narcissistic ppl real easy

[@cynthiajohnson9412]

My INFJ intuition says that what really works for INFJs is the law of attraction. Or put another way, what belongs to you comes to you. In my experience the stuff and people that I go after never work out. The people and things that just come to me while I'm out doing my thing are the things that belong to me. Any other INFJs have this experience, whether with jobs or things or relationships? I'm really good at manifesting houses, cars, jobs, and even relationships etc. but the things I chase and strive for never work out. It's the stuff that just comes to me after I wished for them and released the desire without attachment that, when they arrive, seem truly right and even miraculous.

[@Jaanvi.Thakur]

I can relate to this so much. I feel we as INFJ’s are so focused on our personal goals and self development that we keep working on bettering ourselves and also raising our good vibrations. If we try to chase things just because we feel pressured to do it because of society in general, I feel we break the flow of our work and goals and are not our best selves. I’m very new to LOA but I could resonate to your comment so much. The relationships that I have been in and learnt from always came to me out of the blue when I wasn’t feeling the need to look for them. And now when I’ve been trying so hard to work on my friendships and relationships, I can barely find anyone worthwhile. I have this intuition too that as soon as I’ll stop chasing, I’ll definitely attract.

[@cynthiajohnson9412]

@@Jaanvi.Thakur My gut tells me we INFJs need to lay low for a while. The world is chaos and upheaval and hermit mode for the time being seems like the best answer. That said, I deeply feel that we INFJs are being called to a purpose now. Our job is to be watching (from a safe distance) what is going on and then gently, every so gently in our INFJ way, steering people toward peace and stability. We neither wish to dominate nor be dominated, but when things get out of hand, no one is better at getting people to calm down than the INFJ. Have you listened to Jay from 'The INFJ Circle' channel? He called us the 'mom's friend' or something like that, meaning moms trust their kids with INFJ friends because they can trust us to make sure no one gets hurt or killed. I think we need to broaden this out to the world right now. Our balanced minds that can both think and feel evenly are needed. Anyway, I am saying this because I think we should put aside our personal development (for now) and start using our gifts to keep the world from spinning completely out of control. I talk about the LOA and the things that belong to me, well another deeply held conviction I have is that my life has been preparing me to use my INFJ gifts to see through the bullshit and frankly keep atrocities from happening. We INFJ don't succumb to group think, I don't even think we're capable of just going along when it comes to the 'latest thing'. And as empaths and natural diplomats, it seems to be falling to us to start speaking out, and even throwing a few INFJ well placed elbows in the world. I may be off base. Hard to tell, but when things go wonky best to trust one's gut, especially the INFJ gut. You think I'm wrong?

[@Jaanvi.Thakur]

@@cynthiajohnson9412 You’re not wrong at all. That was really well thought out. As an INFJ I’ve always had an innate need of transforming the world and doing good for the humanity by awakening people to peace and inner worth. Seeing the world in its present state, I too feel like there is a need of this exact act by fellow INFJs. That being said, I also am aware that as an INFJ, I want to take on too many things at once and most of the times I end up not getting anything done. What I’m saying is we need to learn to be a bit more rational when we implement these things and even-though it’s not very INFJ nature but I think is needed so that we actually get something done. I do believe that my personal development is a process that I can never get away with but I’m thinking along the lines of sharing whatever I learn and can to the people around me and picking up certain areas and setting effective goals where I can bring transformation so that I actually get something done rather than just being in my own world and idealising my plan.

[@Jaanvi.Thakur]

@@cynthiajohnson9412 Also I’ll surely check out the INFJ Circle Channel, but I understood what you exactly meant by that, very relatable as an INFJ!

[@cynthiajohnson9412]

@@Jaanvi.Thakur Yeah, I don't think INFJs have much choice when it comes to self-development vs. trying to help the world. We're condemned to try to do both, as best we can anyway.

[@pablobarrera7613]

In my case, everything goes fine until I have to say that I don't drink alcohol. Then, I get ignored. I use it as a filter. The problem is everyone I meet is a drunkard.

[@snowyowlz5992]

There are old guys that do not drink and have remained sober their entire lives, military at that.

[@pablobarrera7613]

@@snowyowlz5992 I'm one of them.

[@michaelr2454]

Dating patterns and dynamics are quite different for men and for women in modern era, regardless of MBTI type

[@EliasGraves]

Nobody can hang with us. It’s a curse.

[@briyinrunj]

Accept you never knew them just a fantasy version that never existed. You don't miss them you miss yourself and how you felt.

[@thomasdemetz6145]

"Show the others who you are, just be yourself" Whole life trying to fit in, me: "what am I?"

[@rangolovesmangos]

Well, it’s not easiest. I’m INFJ-T. I’ve been off and on with a girl for almost 10 years! She’s an INFP. We’re too distant. But she the best. She’s a Leo and I’m a Scorpio. But yeah. Even when we kind of “move on”, it’s complicated. I’ve had other relationships. I’m too caring and affectionate. But always end up with girls that have emotional problems or somehow stuck on an ex boyfriend.

[@nathancolegrove3066]

INFJ-T too and haven't had a single relationship yet

[@KingDomsKingdom85]

Best piece of advice, is to try and date intelligent girls/women. They more often than not are more well adjusted, emotionally, and more receptive to your outpouring of love and affection.

[@rangolovesmangos]

@@nathancolegrove3066 I think I need to stay away from them.

[@rangolovesmangos]

@@KingDomsKingdom85 I try. But women are the best at manipulating. Sorry to admit

[@holo406]

@@KingDomsKingdom85 yes, but unfortunately most of them I don't feel physically attracted to them and the other who I do they are not available anymore as they are married and/or already single moms. I wish I could feel attracted to them, it seems like the "murphy law"

[@SurfingisLife674]

I married an ISTJ. We balance each other out :)

[@chrisfox9492]

I strongly disagree on dating apps. The average guy is invisible. Very bad for confidence

[@Frenzino1]

I had two serious relationships, but now i'm single and i like it😊