The 'King Of Instagram' Got Caught Faking Everything (Dan Bilzerian)

[@stuartward1755]

Paying women to pretend they're interested in you definitely has to be one of the saddest, most insecure things I've ever seen

[@totallynotafanficreader7850]

Sugar daddies.

[@ineedabadbleep1557]

@@totallynotafanficreader7850 LMAO

[@skurtbert]

What if you pay them with affection?

[@totallynotafanficreader7850]

@@skurtbert Still sugar daddies.

[@skurtbert]

@@totallynotafanficreader7850 what if you pay them in livestock?

[@shaurya4242]

The way you went from “no one knows where Paul Blizerian’s $50 mil went” to “anyway Dan won $50 million dollars playing poker” cracked me up

[@sanctuary6285]

It’s just so obvious

[@drakkenmensch]

And then he was 50 millions in the hole with his company Ignite... there's a pattern here.

[@thineevee7345]

Yea

[@bodhisattva2348]

🤣🤣🤣

[@oriaaane]

If he got money illegally and didn't pay it back then why isn't he in prison or something?

[@dimensionalremi]

"i wanna call you png because you are ALL image" is the best f*cking insult i have ever heard

[@spongy7426]

Ur pfp is the best

[@TheIdgas]

I had to pause the video to give myself time to recover.

[@superdiego.g]

i wouldn't say png, i'd say he's more of a jpeg

[@TPAU]

that dude is defo a .apng transparrent and animated poorly

[@abbymorrison3097]

And "he has more spin than a f*cking beyblade"

[@juliemarch3344]

just realized that the girl sitting on his lap while he's 'writing his book' sat behind me in homeroom for three years in high school... hope she's doing good?

[@LostStarzOfTheSky]

He probably paid her like 5k to look interested in him so probably

[@advlia686]

She's getting paid to do it so I bet she's alright.

[@kevindoran9389]

She's furniture now

[@murdermeharry8703]

I mean I'd consider getting paid lots of money to sit around and help some sad, pathetic loser feel like women want him as doing pretty great. Like I'd do it if I could.

[@sawyernorthrop4078]

@@kevindoran9389 shit man I'd take a job as furniture for 40 hours a week

[@hkluv333]

I know a girl that hung out with him, she’s a calendar model, she said one of his guy friend asked her to jump off a boat naked, she said no, his friend paid her 10k to do it. She said the experience and them paying for the travel was fun but she never went again lol

[@guardian_artz5414]

wait,whatttt? T_T

[@cam1788]

I dated a girl who later went and hung with him too lol. Embarrassing

[@guardian_artz5414]

@@cam1788 demn T_T dat sucks

[@emilyjew-wor-ski6630]

I woulda took the money and left

[@hkluv333]

Lol that’s what she did, used it to pay for her college debt

[@clownfromclowntown]

This man’s entire ego could be shattered by learning that lesbians exist

[@almond3066]

To be fair, he probably knows deep down women don't like him The fact that he needs to PAY women to spend time with him and take all these photos tells you all you need to know about how much they "like" him

[@ludameri1384]

@@almond3066 100% because with his reputation as a hard misogynist, women wouldn't want to "come over" for free. They know he's an asshole and they know he's rich and needs women for his pics so they just go there for the money. Smart from their (women) point.

[@jimmypopotin4579]

@@Shadow28TV i would never trust me

[@basicradical3581]

@@Shadow28TV you've got to be trolling

[@elimidd6626]

Nah man hes the type who thinks he can turn lesbians straight

[@pegsies.]

I cannot express how much he looks like he would call every woman he meets a good girl or some dumb shit

[@joedatius]

ugh i felt that

[@dreamingofthemoon]

He would unironically say "are u lost babygirl "

[@pegsies.]

@@dreamingofthemoon YES EXACTLY

[@weruleyoudrool]

@@dreamingofthemoon NOOOO 💀💀💀

[@RibbonVintageGirl]

He has THE look so yep

[@whatalsaid]

Dan Bilzerian calls himself the "king of Instagram" but isn't even one of the top 10 most followed accounts.

[@FriendshipIsMagic1998]

Not even the top 100 lol

[@roshnipatel1590]

I think the egg and Kylie Jenner are still the most followed accounts 😂

[@kadijahmcintosh1055]

@@roshnipatel1590 the egg is the most like picture cr7 is the most followed account

[@daniii947]

Instagram is the most followed on Instagram.

[@samrad6508]

@@daniii947 Instagram isn't a person it's a company u silly kpoop fan.

[@ZombiesWerePeopleToo]

The reason that ping pong table cost so much is, presumably, because ignite is a front for all the shell companies that his dad hid his money in to invest in so dan can overpay for simple stuff and have that money eventually come back to him as kickbacks. Every time you hear of someone spending absurd amounts of money on relatively simple things it’s usually money laundering.

[@greenfingernaildirt356]

exactly

[@thineevee7345]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/nqvLlHWJn82ieas

[@thineevee7345]

@@greenfingernaildirt356 your name makes me feel weird

[@ssnowypug]

aye yep !

[@joejoe6152]

THE GENIUS IS HERE IN THIS COMMENT YOU JUST GOTTA SCROLL

[@Adrienne000]

why does this man's life feel like an arrested development plotline

[@MT-th8ox]

Fact 😂🤣

[@Jobother]

Oh, so the guy with $10k hookers have to hold the elevator for the guy with none? CMON

[@Wisdomatic1]

Straight up lol

[@edjohnpowell]

‘What if GOB grew a beard?’

[@erinc.1610]

I hate the way he shapes his beard to pretend he has a strong square jaw

[@nftmonkey4506]

Ikr??? I can easily tell he has a soft baby face and there's nothing wrong with that but goddamn be is so fake

[@erinc.1610]

@@nftmonkey4506 lol right?? Everything about him screams "PLEASE, EVERYONE, PLEASE THINK I'M COOL!! PLEASE!!"

[@JustLikeAFlower]

@@nftmonkey4506 exactly women do like baby faces especially when you get older you still look young

[@shenone3285]

@@nftmonkey4506 looks like Keemstar's gnome beard except this guy's somehow even more unlikeable

[@Skipsenberg]

@@shenone3285 I didn’t think you could go _down_ from Keemstar in any sense yet here we are.

[@tortellini6087]

It's fun to watch him try to actually hold a conversation when the interviewer isn't acting like a weird fanboy, like he's not prepared for someone asking him real questions and criticizing him.

[@TenThumbsProductions]

Imagine spending your life trying to make 16 year old boys think you are the coolest dude on earth.

[@Rybread973]

ikr

[@andrelong1410]

Facts

[@andrelong1410]

American Man he did invest

[@djholidaytv414]

That's a fuccin sad life to live

[@alamooji3716]

Yeah Im 100% sure that was his goal. Hahahaha I aint for him but he obviously lived it better than you

[@guidetothegreatoutdoors4789]

Dan: *writes a book* Dan’s Book: “Dan has money. Dan is successful. Dan is happy.”

[@IRONYREBURST]

Bruh

[@wafflekiller5148]

This reminds me of the peppa pig narrator

[@anastasiahitzig8065]

Dan is smart. Dan went to elementary school. Dan is kool.

[@JeskaiEye]

@@anastasiahitzig8065 Dan dropped out of elementary school. Dan started smoking weed. Dan is lit.

[@CardZed]

@@JeskaiEye just like the fake money stacks on his vault

[@mariespeaks2542]

Not a lot of people talked about this, but Dan legitimately photoshops the women in his photos. He even photoshopped Cardi B to make her ass bigger and posted it to his Instagram.

[@emch2vy]

this is the funniest comment to me because it's like. Bro Why Though.

[@lugoorstar]

@@emch2vy because he couldn't pay enough for women whith big booba and giant bazoonkas

[@mymousebroke8258]

@@lugoorstar those are the same things

[@lugoorstar]

@@mymousebroke8258 whait ass isn't bazookas in horny talk? Man I am sad now

[@Tw0Dots]

@@lugoorstar butchering the English language

[@sarahjones7428]

Laughing because my abusive ex thought this guy was the most amazing man. And we got into a fight cause I laughed at the posts cause it was clearly fake.

[@jillvalentinefan77]

At least you have a brain and saw through his bullshit. It's mind boggling any breathing human would follow this guy willingly. It reminds me of why I pray for a nuclear blast to atomize me or these guys.

[@tercazajo]

lol you go girl 😂😂 hope you are doing good now

[@Dhuxul9]

These days every woman says her ex was abusive

[@sixrats4560]

@@Dhuxul9 congratulations you found out that a lot of men can be and are abusive. On the contrary abuse has no gender so a lot of people are abusive in general lmao

[@Dhuxul9]

@@sixrats4560 I’m sorry but men experience abuse at the same rate as women in relationships more than 40% of domestic violence victims are men also majority of domestic violence victims are children and perpetrators are women! I hope you educate yourself on the subject

[@emmanuel8538]

This guy is like if Jake Paul and a rapper had an annoying instagram account

[@peacewithoutreligion]

This guy is Jake Paul's final form.

[@unibomber96]

*INFINITE STUPIDITY*

[@IRONYREBURST]

Bruh

[@usernameremoved3512]

lord Smith not all rappers are bad.. :( I like rap songs ;-;

[@RachaelLongLastName]

This is like if Jake Paul grew up

[@getaloadofthisguy2927]

This guy’s personality is pretty much that he’s “too much of a badass”to have a personality

[@westein1282]

Yeah. Like most Jarvis videos, there's a theme he (Jarvis) likes to stick to. That seemed to be the theme this time.

[@doomspire]

Maybe too badass

[@swausgebouwen143]

@@soprecious5864 irony

[@parinaparekh9224]

Westein 12 am

[@FortoFight]

There are a lot of celebrities like that *cough* Dwayne Johnson *cough*

[@dillpickle-no9hl]

ngl id totally pose as a model to get in his house and shave his beard off when hes asleep. i feel like its hiding something lol

[@streamlily5971]

I dare you

[@almond3066]

Absolute madwoman

[@dmnddst]

be careful out there, mkay? we dont want anymore people thrown out of a roof

[@mmatthews61687]

Just leave him some nice mutton chop sideburns

[@McShankos]

Dlatt

[@slopedude2072]

This guy looks like he intentionally modelled his look after the photoshopped bodybuilder from that GigaChad meme

[@natashahaley8058]

Yes but -looks like he- *obviously did*

[@бронза.вафля.конус]

Except gigachad's jawline actually has that shape, this guy just has a decent barber lol

[@yyugenGD]

200th like :)

[@thenoxxyboy]

I heard the actual real life gigachad died in a car crash a few years ago

[@MagicalGirlFia]

He may be a billionaire But the real question is Is he the Coin Master?

[@phud69]

Probably not. He'd be a trillionaire if he's Coin Master

[@IRONYREBURST]

Bruh

[@blumeiworld]

I'm the 421st like

[@cawub1367]

XD

[@FrancisR420]

Hary dent, can we trust him?

[@marshall9003]

“I wanna call you PNG because you’re all image” is a fantastic roast that I’m absolutely stealing

[@turtlie7309]

But jpeg might be better because it would imply that someone was oddly compressed and only half passable-

[@CallMeAkane]

I was about to comment this...amazing roast 👏🏽

[@GraveRobbertt]

@@turtlie7309 YOOOOOOOOO

[@tenletters5889]

@@turtlie7309 not to mention it'd mean he lacks transparency

[@jayowolabi]

@@CallMeAkane 👈 Is this Akane?

[@Unlikely_Pirate]

I’ve literally never heard of this man.

[@vizthex]

same, but i also don't have an instagram account so maybe that's why?

[@theblurryviewfinder]

I honestly never been into famous people and celebrities in the first place,instead I was into fictional characters. so technically I have an excuse for not hearing about him-

[@Jackiedyk]

Same

[@megkrish7568]

@@theblurryviewfinder same I've always loved stories more than real life. I guess it must be some sort of escapism 😅

[@theblurryviewfinder]

@@megkrish7568 exactly baddie,that must be some kind of lovely flu as well 💅💅

[@mothman4672]

Majoring in Business and Criminology and then laundering money in the most obvious way has to be one of the funniest things Dan has ever done

[@funnyperson2996]

Larry King: People say you use women as props. Dan: What?! NO! They’re Pawns!

[@IRONYREBURST]

Bruh

[@lj.853]

*They're 🙂You fixed it!

[@funnyperson2996]

Whoop Dee Doo Basil Thank you!

[@nangsanbhalangblah333]

@@IRONYREBURST bruhhhhh

[@SavvyMuhon]

@@IRONYREBURST bruh.

[@Sm0k3turt]

As a straight 16 year old boy and I hate this guy so my parents did something right.

[@supimpanda2312]

Yes they did

[@kithric4878]

Good good. Glad there's hope lol

[@squashforsale8466]

Bare minimum

[@Edgee_yy]

Your parents are immaculate

[@focusstudios1296]

My thoughts exactly

[@carpet-snark6446]

He looks like a divorced dad on tinder, except he’s missing a fish and a somewhat creepy description.

[@glanty]

and what does Dan Bilzerian look like?

[@chickenorvickys7267]

@@glanty oof

[@Elluzive]

@@glanty LOL

[@robertlopez444]

He be like "I'll pay for the whole meal just come to the restaurant"

[@sebbyq8206]

Only "Somewhat creepy". Completely creepy.

[@Ovasiig]

Speaking from experience, people who claim to be badasses “with military training” are frauds or massively over exaggerating. My brother used to claim he was some form of badass but got kicked of of basic training in the army after a week. That’s the type that tries to say they’re badasses.

[@jayedgar1384]

Anyone who is an actual badass with military training doesn't bring it up

[@Thentavius]

Irony: Dan making women the pawns is an indirect praise for them because pawns decide the flow of a game, especially at higher level play, and can be promoted. The King might be the most important because it's uncapturable but no one cares about moving the king except for castling and endgames. Dan has no fucking idea what chess is like.

[@ShatteredGlass916]

I don't know how chess works, but him putting women as pawns is probably the weirdest and creepiest things ever. .....and somehow funnier, since i assume no model (or women in general) would wanna hang out with him without being paid

[@trollinape2697]

kings are useless and in need to be protected at all times, pawns are numerous and can cast a queen the most powerfull player

[@Josh-ux1vy]

Dan Bilzerian: 1. f3

[@sameerakhan7455]

@@trollinape2697 Exactly.

[@afooz]

That's technically true, but it's still a really disgusting thing to do and I hate him so much for it. Yeah it's just little figurines but obviously it's the meaning behind that is so nasty and dehumanizing

[@frankiefranklin7320]

The part where he tried to get the gun from that cop legit had me sinking in my chair from the cringe/second hand embarassment

[@chayden153]

Same, I cringed so hard I think I broke something

[@msjkramey]

He's lucky he didnt get shot or arrested

[@catbox1677]

The only reason he isnt dead is bc he's white.

[@tori5004]

that seems like something you would do and then start thinking about 10 years later while sitting in bed and trying to sleep

[@FutureChaosTV]

Should have arrested him for obstruction and endangerment.

[@ethanc94]

He punched a actress in the face. Just boxed the girl, on a movie or tv shoot and didn’t even apologize to her. She went to the ER.

[@alucard5055]

Why not a man

[@yup5053]

FOR WHAT REASON

[@okskrap9581]

An actress

[@ivanbardonado]

i would destroy him in 1 round

[@rippspeck]

@@ivanbardonado His beard is screaming insecurities. There's a glass chin hidden under there.

[@blehbleheh]

4:27 You know you're bad when a rich neighborhood throws a block party to celebrate you leaving. Rich neighborhoods never throw block parties.

[@kennedydanner5102]

I don’t want to be a sucker for details, but if he hasn’t read a book in 7 years, who read his ghostwriter’s manuscript?

[@ninjafaceify]

No one. Who would want to?

[@goggles8691]

He just lives faster than us

[@TheDovahkiin93]

a ghostreader...

[@mickheaton4609]

a manuscript isn't a book -Dan Bilzerian... probably.

[@lucassmith1886]

Ghost reader

[@aidansilvia2663]

Dan’s real biggest fear is people questioning his masculinity.

[@saumitjin5526]

I don't get his hype... I was in a nofap group (filled with simps and mgtow freaks alike) and someone shared his qna instagram story... Where he namedrops pills and supplements and says "yeah these 4 bottles they're for sex and stamina these 2 are for health purposes..." dude... I don't even think life would be fun or enjoyable with that impending doom of lawsuits and the company backing off any moment

[@sweetinsanity65765]

Uuuuuuuu! 😆

[@shawnmetzger4518]

@@saumitjin5526 yeah nofap may have some simps but a lot are just guys that genuinely want to improve their life and find Fapping as detrimental habit.

[@saumitjin5526]

@@shawnmetzger4518 yeah but these guys weren't serious as I was... I've been following NoFap for 2 years nw highest streak being 62 days but these guys lose in a week... Because of if he shit pages they follow... Like this Dan Bilzerian dude and other female models who post semi nude pics... Which trigger something and they lose... Like I couldn't be in that environment where even tho I gave tips and advices they weren't implementing it... NoFap means to channel ur sexual drive the time you spend on viewing porn and masturbating into something productive... But these guys were mostly chatting nonchalant stuff and putting all energy into nofap than something prodictive... And then feeling that guilt trip after doing so...That's counter productive imo

[@tvbuu]

@@saumitjin5526 lmao mgtow freaks ? Coming from some loser in the comments studying the life of a man who's still enjoying his life lol

[@ippedhairntertainment2328]

Dan is the kind of guy who acts like his company bought car is his.

[@absolutelyridiculous6743]

Spot on!

[@WCHarts]

He probably literally did

[@rowanw1312]

Minty Gum nah, he’s never worked a day in his life

[@mjr_schneider]

That, but times roughly 50 million

[@sneeb271]

USE A HYPHEN.

[@katiehambrick4079]

“Did you kick a woman in the face?” “....Uhm, well...” LMAO! That’s a yes or no question!

[@lisemagic208]

“The King of Instagram” sounds like a username a 10 year old would have.

[@channelpolitica1364]

Lise Magic sounds like a 7 years olds so...

[@lisemagic208]

Aryan Baviskar Touché, this has been my username for everything since I was 7 😂. I don’t care enough to change it to something else

[@Chimerical_]

anna oop! They probably mean they used the name on OTHER things since they were the age they said they were

[@johnathanarcher6999]

The KING of 2B2T, the oldest anarchy server in Minecraft

[@adon9703]

@lise magic exposed

[@voidsans7592]

"Hey, if I give my money to my child, no one will suspect a thing!" - Phil Bilzerian, probably

[@IRONYREBURST]

Bruh

[@AleksandrStrizhevskiy]

Well considering the government didn't come after him I guess he got away with it.

[@actionjackson3522]

@@AleksandrStrizhevskiy *L O R D ' S S C H E M E*

[@cassidyyy9589]

Action Jackson L O R D ‘ S S C H E M E

[@hartts9392]

Thought it was paul

[@AayushSapra]

No music, no sound effect. Still entertaining. First time watching but loved your personality bro💥

[@frankcastle1862]

OwO

[@stephengrigg5988]

Theres something about how he can criticize while being so fucking nice and likeable

[@pochita8306]

@@frankcastle1862 i smiteth thee for using such foul language

[@princibles]

@@pochita8306 Oh shit man.. Im fucking sorry..

[@frankcastle1862]

@@pochita8306 oops wrong acc

[@audie3600]

Jarvis: “Shout out to my adhd homies - inattentive gang gang!” Me, having ADHD: (storing that bit away in my brain that makes me laugh anytime it gets stuck on repeat in my head even months later) haha nice 😊

[@ravyntaylor6982]

18:25 - for you, lovely 😊 so it’s easier to find when you come back to the video!

[@Ovasiig]

And the rainbow text to hyperfocus on was just *chefs kiss*

[@jimmyflores9235]

ADHD GANG

[@urmom-zh6zs]

adhd gang 💪😎 #focusingisharddudehelp

[@Ovasiig]

@@urmom-zh6zs big fuckin facts

[@alejandrom.4680]

As a 16 years old boy..., I feel insulted about you daring to asume that I wanna be like him

[@runtav_guz8564]

Hahaha, or shall I say jajaja Alejandro

[@asei231]

some are more mature than others. I'm a 16 year old enby and im also here so.

[@jay_frfx]

@@asei231 this isn't about gender

[@asei231]

@@jay_frfx ik? i was just saying that some become more mature faster-

[@jay_frfx]

@@asei231 I think you left a hyphen at the end of ur sentence on accident

[@izzyfarmer2500]

I’d like to point out Onsion also says he got kicked out off the military for being too badass. So...

[@GummyDinosaursify]

I'd say we need Shane Dawson Conspiracy up in here but that dude's too busy making out with dogs and hitting on children

[@jenn1123]

bobbleheadgent he paid ryland to stay with him??

[@maggieandrews7676]

TableWrens and peeing in bottles that he keeps around the house 🤢

[@MegaBlair007]

That made me so mad honestly. If he was such a badass he wouldn't be here right now. He would be comandeering his own unit in the middle east, or higher up on the chain. He's a fucking phony disgrace

[@crunchii891]

MegaBlair007 Agreed. Pure, unadulterated loser antics right there

[@SerMattzio]

I think the most outlandish thing is that anyone actually believed this guy was legit. It shows how sick society has become. Do we as a society really think you can make $180 million gambling and then be so adored by women that 40 models sit on your lap while you're eating breakfast? It's blatantly ridiculous.

[@bent6293]

C'mon now it wasn't just breakfast...he was also working on his manuscript. Nothing engages women in skimpy bikinis like casually reliving your life through written word while devouring a cinnamon raisin bagel.

[@ujjwalmishra8962]

Obligatory we live in a society comment

[@Stewpkiddable]

@Phillip1310 we voted trump into office..... so

[@user-zu9rn7ru9v]

I honestly thought it was a lie, but 16yr old boys were eating the shit up 😂

[@ricktheitalianrebel6687]

@@Stewpkiddable Yeah, and now you have a demented 47 year do nothing socialist marxist So...

[@angelbabe555]

I truly dont understand how some people believe that professional models/influencers would be around guys like this constantly showing up in posts and posing.... for free. like use your brains theyre literally getting paid to be there BECAUSE ITS THEIR JOBS LMAO

[@keymaster430]

Dan on the phone while playing chess: "Hey, man! My opponent just moved his horsey thingy up and to the right and knocked out my little ashtray looking piece. What do I do next?"

[@keymaster430]

@Viashan Pillay thank you, Sir. I'll see you 'like' and raise you one.

[@peskypigeonx]

@@keymaster430 Might I add: (Person on the phone) “Put the Lighthouse with the T next to the Lighthouse with a crown.”

[@keymaster430]

@@peskypigeonx lol

[@rippspeck]

"Dumbass chess" is my new favorite thing now.

[@shawncolarusso5516]

You said 16 year old straight boys but it’s more like pathetic 40 year old men who thought they’d be like him when they were 16.

[@barryallen9466]

16 year old straight boys is definitely a large percentage though, I would know because I went through that phase

[@momkeybmalls8551]

Why do my fellow brother en want to be like him? He's literally brian from family guy but more of a douche bag and "rich"

[@allisonwallace4022]

Why not both?

[@ThayGPrieto]

I know a 16 y/o straight boy who follows him Was so disappointed, but not really surprised

[@8015908]

Also 25 year old straight men who treat women like objects

[@r3strt]

You can see Jarvis getting more and more personally offended as you go further in the video and I love it

[@mariammosashvili4150]

Especially for every $50 multipliers

[@cs7065]

*hypnotized dan simp has entered the chat*

[@xXGRXREDDEADXx]

@@cs7065 doubt you've even seen the jre podcast

[@WinnieThePooh333]

1:05 "if you bullied me in middleschool" damn he actually made it so personal

[@zalamael]

I like that you pointed out that everyone who wants to be like Dan, is more or less a needy insecure child. He has cultivated his reputation on the back of having embezzled money (from his dad), and he spends it indiscriminately in order to cultivate his need to be seen as a real man. I hate to break this to you Dan, but when you have to pay women to like you, they don't really like you. They just like your money. Burn it all, and see how many of them are willing to stick around when all you have to offer is your needy personality.

[@qirmi2030]

Women dont like personality, keep coping. You either have looks and pull them hoes, or compensate it with money and power.

[@sweetfreeze5528]

Stacks of money don't go in the vault, silly. They go on the coffee table.

[@krombopulos_michael]

If you're going to put them in the vault where people can't see them, what's even the point in having them?

[@momkeybmalls8551]

This is the type of guy who if he could would turn his 100 dollar bills into bullets

[@pleaseenteraname6590]

Unless it’s a glass vault so people can see your hundreds of thousands of one dollar bills

[@ashleighgordon5832]

Still wrong! They ARE the coffee table

[@jinsory5582]

@@krombopulos_michael Auditing?

[@sarahjane8754]

If Danny wasn’t rich he would’ve joined a pyramid scheme by now

[@krombopulos_michael]

He's clearly able to con people reasonably well so he'd probably be alright at it too.

[@leal7914]

HAHAHAHHA

[@tamilee9462]

Totally

[@edybellee]

this just in: he IS the pyramid scheme

[@israelthepenisbenderadensa8953]

@KrombopulosMichael he’d definitely thrive harder in a Ponzi scheme. I feel like that would be his specialty.

[@dumbname939]

So basically he’s dressing as a millionaire but when unmasked you’ll find he’s just a normal guy. I watch too much Scooby Doo

[@judy4064]

No such thing as too much Scooby Doo

[@Gigglemug1235]

Scooby doo is life

[@piagebot2943]

I wouldn’t say normal that’s being too generous

[@therealmistermemer]

Its actually a poor sixteen year old! I would've gotten away with it if it wasn't for the guy with the basic name!

[@sonsauvage]

he's definitely not a normal guy...he has/had money but in the trust fund kind of way. not the, "I make millions playing poker and having a successful business" kind of way

[@TheNormExperience]

“I read a book for the first time in 7 years.” Weird flex, but this one I actually believe. So how did you like the ending of ‘The Very Hungry Caterpillar’ Dan?

[@guybrush1701]

😂

[@twoxsl857]

"the world doesnt revolve around you" Dan bilzerian: *surprised pikachu face"

[@geograymon55]

I love how much he talks about sex and tries to make fun of guys who don't get laid everyday as if he's not throwing money at prostitutes.

[@8015908]

When he first started popping up, all my annoying 16 year old clash mates kept praising him

[@madarauchihasperfectsusano5844]

Sounds like r/niceguys tingz

[@joanaortiz1631]

He does seem to be very pathetic, but please try to not use the term “prostitutes” anymore, since it’s derogatory; use “sex workers” instead, a phrase that’s neutral. Don’t demonize people who are hustling and only supplying what people like Dan are demanding; they ain’t hurting nobody.

[@H12457]

@@joanaortiz1631 Prosutitutes = sex workers ...sugar coating a fact doesn't change it...

[@pluto3194]

@@joanaortiz1631 Please tell me this is satire

[@PachiPlays]

Jarvis uploads: Me: yeah imma be in the bathroom another 24 minutes and 5 seconds

[@bfcofficial17]

This comment is gold...

[@PachiPlays]

@@bfcofficial17 no u :)

[@bfcofficial17]

@@PachiPlays hAhA fUnNy nO u jOkE

[@m_e_nere]

Me too

[@PachiPlays]

@@bfcofficial17 yes very funny original joke

[@thefallen9951]

As someone who is part of a special military force, I gotta say I hate those instagram wanna be soldiers who would die while doing our basic fitness test

[@abbydrummond5144]

Thank you for your service :)

[@wrongwayup8217]

Something about how you said that makes me doubt you. Or maybe you are not American.

[@thefallen9951]

@@wrongwayup8217 you are right i´m not american

[@Go_XRP]

WTF is special military force? Is that where BUD dropouts go?

[@Ovasiig]

As long as you’re comfortable saying, out of personal curiosity what country were you SF?

[@mjr_schneider]

"Do rich people normally carry around a lot of physical cash?" Not people who stay rich for very long.

[@trindalas]

I really hope it plays out that way because he needs prison time. There were several major crimes (impersonating an officer for instance) that were mentioned just in this vid... And if the government doesn’t get him I’m sure burglars will eventually.

[@jetison333]

Also don't people that do a lot of illegal things to earn money tend to use cash?

[@EarlMcManus2005]

The only wealthy person I have ever heard of that carries around alot of cash is James Irsay ( net worth 2.7 Billion$), the owner of the Indianapolis Colts of the NFL. He is reputed to carry around 100,000$ in cash with him at all times.

[@terryfuldsgaming7995]

@@EarlMcManus2005 All of those stacks, even if they were $1 bills, would probably more than that. Think about printer paper. 1000 sheets is only about 2 inches thick or so. Its probably fake money. They have that for photo shoots... like every single one of his pics obviously is.

[@Mvie..]

Clarence Boddicker it’s also not real dude. Honestly just think about it? Why would anyone want to carry 100k everywhere? Does that mean he spends 100k everyday? Highly doubt. It’s all for props

[@RachaelLongLastName]

He got kicked out of SEAL boot camp because he was “too much of a badass” His publisher dropped him because his book was “too badass” I’m starting notice a theme here.... Edit: if this guy’s book isn’t called Perverts’ Guide To Looking Rich I will be so upset.

[@lj.853]

Lost both cause he's a wimp. Lol

[@Clownbunnycosplay]

He’s obviously so bad as, he’s not the problem of course he’s not

[@saladollarsign]

This just in: Dan Bilzerian pays KZbin to delete Jarvis Johnson’s video, fails, and then sues.

[@mahranislam3554]

Don't give him any ideas...

[@kitu-kof2002]

Don't predict future

[@farros7284]

Is this fr?

[@johnbernaudo7631]

It’s still up

[@gracealyssa28]

I’ve never heard of this man in my life, I feel like men like him just randomly pop into existence

[@limbonlegs1662]

Don't say that Dan's head looks like a hexagon! Honeycomb shouldn't be compared to Dan. Honeycomb deserves better

[@theanarchistocelot1620]

Honeycomb is flippin’ delicious

[@catherine7144]

I choked on the Honey Comb wax and was scared to eat it again. 😆

[@limbonlegs1662]

Wait you guys eat beeswax?

[@catherine7144]

Liam Cook No no, the honey comb has wax and you can swallow it but it’s best that you don’t. I had it for the first time and I forgot to spit it out so when I tried to swallow the honey the wax was still in my mouth.. I was around 8 or younger I’m pretty sure.

[@momkeybmalls8551]

@@limbonlegs1662 honey combs safe to eat it's like when the honey around the lip of the jar starts to solidify but stays gooey in a natural wax. Curious George is very educational even when you're not the target demograph

[@Vangror]

To paraphrase a quote from Game of Thrones: "Any man who must say, I am the king, is no true king"

[@SuperRaedizzle]

God I love Jarvis. He’s finally saying what we’ve been thinking all along.

[@lakshyamehta7777]

Why You were Thinking About Dan All Along😊

[@Nari_Trovi]

He might not be the reporter we deserve but he is the reporter we need.

[@yasicles3549]

I love your videos! I didn't know you liked Jarvis

[@foxxiku2043]

I love your art

[@klev5021]

:0 omg raeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee i love you so much!

[@drownedmaiden3220]

This man would implode if he ever found out about asexuals

[@r3strt]

Dan Bilzerian looks like the sugar daddy version of Keemstar.

[@captainm7722]

I would say something redeeming about either one here, but yeah, you're right. They're both hot garbage.

[@r3strt]

@@captainm7722 Keemstar at least doesn't try to look good (at least not as much as Dan)

[@captainm7722]

@@r3strt IDK about that, narcissists are all kind of readable the same way, and Keemy-poo is no different in that respect. Maybe not to you and me, but I promise you he DEFINITELY THINKS he looks good.

[@r3strt]

@@captainm7722 Probably yeah

[@BXBubz]

best comment award

[@goopaspect536]

"i wanna call you png, because youre all image" is the nerdiest yet greatest roast ive ever heard

[@briscoredknight]

He literally pulled a Bojack Horseman and decided to use his “own” book over a professional ghost writer. That’s literally insane.

[@LL-tr5et]

pulled a what?

[@braxtonslife7779]

@@LL-tr5et He’s referencing a show titled Bojack Horseman, the action that Dan committed is similar to one that happened in the show.

[@LL-tr5et]

@@braxtonslife7779 damn, thanks for letting me know

[@MikoyanGurevichMiG21]

As shitty Bojack as a person is, he's still has more integrity than Dan.

[@manda8512]

Most underrated comment on this video

[@maxfitz8577]

I really want all the girls he’s payed to look hot around him to compile their stories together. I wanna know how these women got there

[@NaudVanDalen]

Actors: Act in movie to earn a lot of money. Dan Bilzerian: Pay a lot of money to act in a movie.

[@Salsuero]

Apparently he even failed at that because his "acting" got cut. How does a serial failure continue to succeed? Oh yeah... we have Donald Trump as our President. Never mind.

[@fz7091]

@@Salsuero *sues the movie director for not putting him in the movie*

[@Salsuero]

@@fz7091 Yes, he did. I also watched the video. Why do you suppose he wasn't in the movie as a result of his scenes being cut even though he paid to be in it? I guarantee they tried really hard to justify keeping his scenes in since he paid for them... and they still couldn't do it -- he was THAT bad!

[@fz7091]

@@Salsuero I think he thinks hes the badass character in the movie and the director had enough. His role is the senior officer so maybe this was the reason.

[@lelandunruh7896]

Honestly, even at 16 I think I would've found Mr. Bilzerian rather pathetic.

[@justkingsley9244]

I’m 17, and I find him rather pathetic as well.

[@grizzlyote]

I'm sixteen and I just pity this guy. Imagine being such a slimeball

[@rubybros9697]

Well I’m of age 14 and I figure him PATHETIC.

[@xxslayer255xx]

I first found him when I got insta like 6 years ago and thought he was pathetic back then

[@the6574]

I'm totally not three children in a trenchcoat and I think he pathetic

[@Carols989]

can you IMAGINE the horror stories the poor people who had to be his teachers at school must have?

[@aidansheadache2142]

If he even went to school in the first place.

[@TheVagabondGadite]

Too much of a badass?

[@apocalypticalpenis]

I probably imagine this sort of situation happening: Teacher: Dan, I'm sorry, but you got an F- on this test-- Dan: Probably cause it's so badass. Teacher: *sighs* Teacher: No. No, Dan. I gave you this grade because your grammar is shit.

[@lowhplowhp]

Dan: Oh yeah, F for badass!

[@yamicivetta5252]

22:36 what’s even more hilarious about that article are those women don’t regret partying with him because he’s cool or anything; it’s because these women are/were CONTRACTUALLY obligated to party with him or they had a lot to gain from him, monetary and socially. 🤣 How sad can you be to have to pay people to PARTY with you?

[@70TheGamerr]

I don't want to be like Dan, I want to be just like Jarvis...

[@damondgreen2239]

I too would like to be Jarvis who is *trying his best.*

[@noahspencer720]

Just drink a lot of breast milk

[@thisurldoesnotexist]

I too would like to be Jarvis who is drinking the breast XD

[@actionjackson3522]

@@damondgreen2239 *trying his breast. Wait....

[@FrancisR420]

Jarvis incarnate

[@emfaye23]

"i wrote 360 pages in 57 days, i worked 15 hours a day with only one day off" my dude... that's like 2 and a half pages a day... edit: my bad, i did the math wrong. its more like 6 pages a day

[@drcola143]

yeah bro, you don't need 15 hours a day to write like 2 pages. Well he's probably taking a 30 minute break every 30 minutes of work

[@theoutcast9215]

I can confirm. I can write 50 pages in less than 15 hours, although over a span of a few days because haha yeah no sane person would write 50 pages in one sitting (yes, it has happened before I get over zealous when I write my books). 🤣🤣

[@fool6078]

@@drcola143 That’s giving him a little too much slack.

[@HunterEdits]

I think your math is a bit off man.... but I agree with the point.

[@drcola143]

@@HunterEdits It was supposed to be a joke not accurate lmao. He's either lying or taking a break for every word he writes

[@Ten_possums]

Am I the only one that’s never heard of this man, but instantly hated him the second you saw him?

[@ThisisCitrus]

Seconded. Never heard of him before and glad I haven't, looks like a douche.

[@thechuckleschmuck]

Same

[@alexverdana2435]

he just has that look

[@Tyhammonds06]

Im hoping you aren't talking about Jarvis

[@ThisisCitrus]

@@Tyhammonds06 Of course not, Jarvis is the hero we needed. Dan Douchzerian is who we're talking about.

[@cm1706]

The delivery of this entire video is just so perfect. The shade dripping from every sentence is genuinely impressive

[@jaredchampagne2752]

Every single person who flexes as hard as dan, always comes out as a fraud. People that earn their money do not act like that. People that work hard for their money are usually humble because of how hard they had to work to get their, people that get handed a lump sum of money for free, it instantly changes their personality.

[@GillianMulholland]

AGREE!!!

[@maxedout881]

Hi didn’t work hard he gambled

[@Auizy]

Facts on Facts.

[@specialoperator8902]

Ever heard of a dude named Floyd Mayweather??? Yeah sooooooo 🤷🏻‍♂️

[@juneldi]

True

[@frecklesandfries9209]

“He has more spin than a f*cking Beyblade” A *BEYBLADE* OH MY GOODNESS GRILL MARKS, BUD

[@fostmango1066]

What

[@cuno115]

fostmango oh poor guy.

[@GraveRobbertt]

I haven't even gotten to this part and that's sick lmao.

[@gunnarfloyd1925]

Half expected for it to say “Jarvis is trying his breast”

[@KyleKringle]

This comment is a tad funnier because of your Tony Stark profile picture

[@CowyC]

Mommy Jarvis

[@swiveryswovery9458]

Melone XD

[@amnesiac4108]

@@CowyC oookko

[@sybill123ful]

the only thing i’ve ever heard about this dude is that he allegedly assaulted one of the models he hired, not sexually, like literally assaulted physically. and he just called this girl a flout chaser

[@emmanuel8538]

Dan bilzerian is like if r/ihavesex was a person

[@RachaelLongLastName]

And r/iambadass and r/madlads rolled into one

[@actionjackson3522]

@@RachaelLongLastName r/ihavemadbadasssex

[@AuroraX7]

Action Jackson r/cursedcomments

[@FrancisR420]

The other comment was better

[@slowcosmic6176]

Maui Randall hm?

[@ScottCramer]

Jarvis that lighting 😍😍😍

[@gobme]

Ist Jarvis so hot😫😫😫

[@thealejandroshow20]

It is some pretty neat lighting.

[@madide3978]

Ey scott

[@shannonceleste5557]

Strugglers unite!

[@randomaccount9151]

Strugglers coming through

[@katt646]

He also thinks women can turn into monster trucks.

[@commandrogyne]

im fascinated by this and im not sure if i want to know more. this is such a perfect thing in concept, i don't know if i want to possibly ruin it with context

[@CynicalJerome]

I'm not even surprised at this point

[@jadeoreo]

As a woman, can confirm I do in fact turn into a monster truck just like a transformer

[@TheGoreTheorists]

@@jadeoreo as a woman, I second this

[@katt646]

The evidence is flooding in.

[@EsEndetNie]

I zoomed in on Dan writing his bood and did counted how many spaces there were in the whole thing on screen Because im a nerd and there is 0 spaces He just spammed random things

[@hikerclarence7092]

The best way to tell someone isn’t rich is if they say they’re rich loud enough for the taxman to hear them.

[@ohno5804]

Let's all hope he doesn't run for president

[@punkspockispunkrock]

not like anyone's gonna vote for him

[@mochacrossing1567]

Don't give him any ideas

[@awooingstops]

@@punkspockispunkrock we thought the same for Trump. I don't trust the US now...

[@jinxthedestroyr2405]

i was thinking the exact same thing

[@lemon_3612]

Don't give him ideas

[@kenjixander9028]

Imagine that Dan consistently wrote the same number of pages every hour for every day that he worked. Ok so 360 pages in 57 days 15 hours a day with one day off. Alright so that leaves 15 hours a day for 56 days. If you divide 360 by 56 you get 6.428 and so on and so forth for the number of pages he is writing per day. You then take the number of pages, so 6.4 and divide that by the 15 hours he works in a day, he is writing roughly half a page per hour.

[@kristejasen7692]

I think it's 360 pages not words.

[@anantkerur557]

Ok, so then the avg no of words per page is, say, 250. So he wrote 90,000 words is 56 days. So that makes 1,600 a day, or about 2 words a minute.

[@gots0359]

@@anantkerur557 You cant measure brain work in minutes/hours/days dude. It just doesnt work so. You can write 20 pages one day and just not a single word for three days straight. The Clash songwriters prior to London Calling album is a good example. 0 songs for one year.

[@gots0359]

@@anantkerur557 anyway back to badass dude he didnt wrote them himself for sure lol

[@anantkerur557]

@@gots0359 Yeah lol probs not. But I simply wrote that as a sort of correction/ more accurate version of op's comment, taking the first reply in mind

[@xenosbreed]

It makes me laugh that people get so upset when people want to be identified by a particular pronoun, but then the same types of people look up to this 'alpha' who tells others to identify him as 'King of Instagram'

[@YouVSMeTV]

You're telling me the guy who put all his insecurities out there for the world to see and lived the porn fantasy of a 16 year old has been lying this whole time? Color me SHOCKED.

[@michaelrandrianarivelo6593]

Right lmfao

[@AmaryllisTV]

🤣🤣🤣

[@sinsoftheswamp8346]

Ikr wtf

[@knappieboy]

Right lol

[@annabb6677]

I found out my crush follows him 🤢 dont like him anymore

[@shakiestalocachica]

I'm kind of relieved at this. I saw a brag video of his a couple of years ago and the absolute misogyny and the words of his supporters made me sick to my stomach for like a week. In fact I haven't forgotten it years later. I hope he gets crabs in his beard tbh.

[@dashigriffins5310]

I'm afraid to ask this but.. what did he and the supporters say?

[@monus782]

It’s one of the reasons why I’m not envious of the guy even though he has more money than I ever will, the fact that he pays models to be around him is another one.

[@jaketaylor9922]

You said that everyone wants to be like this guy and I was like “I don’t even know who this guy is” but then you said that by everyone you meant 16-year-old straight boys. So that explains why I’ve never heard of him. I’m only a 15-year-old straight boy.

[@Alice-gr1kb]

Lol

[@ZIONE103]

That also explains why I've never heard of him. I'm not a 16-year-old straight boy,I'm a 17-year-old-straight boy

[@timtalksanimations9171]

@@ZIONE103 I'm a 16 year old boy. We have formed the holy trinity. Together we're unstoppable.

[@ZIONE103]

@@timtalksanimations9171 Are you straight tho

[@Ledinn]

@@timtalksanimations9171 and if you're straight, have you heard of him? Are you a fan?

[@ethanol1586]

I cannot take a guy who trims his beard to make himself look like he has a more pronounced jaw line seriously

[@justinmills4765]

Dan Bilzerian is the embodiment of r/ihavesex, r/iamverybadass and r/iamverysmart.

[@vivianloney8826]

It's the holy trinity of manchildren everywhere

[@Evy_Wevy]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/h527mWWwa8RpqaM

[@awesome1ru]

LMAO tru

[@WilliamTravisIto]

r/ihavereddit

[@Freakazoid12345]

Oh no, another reddit user projecting their insecurities onto others...

[@Axb2774]

Do you ever see something and think “wow I’m glad this wasn’t around when I was in high school and internally misogynistic” because me too

[@Misile91]

If you ever feel like a disappointment just remember that this guys *PAYS* women to like him. *P A Y S*

[@peskypigeonx]

For the INTERNET, this is incel-worthy

[@Misile91]

@@peskypigeonx LMAO

[@nai1729]

isn’t that what guys that buy onlyfans do

[@peskypigeonx]

@@nai1729 almost, normally they just pay for the sight of love and naughties through the internet

[@Misile91]

@@nai1729 he pays them to feel wanted, the Simps buy to feel pleasure

[@thomasdickson35]

"I wanna call you PNG because sir you're all image." That is poetry.

[@AnthroFox99]

This guys company sounds like the mans version of Gwyneth Paltrow's brand Goop.

[@sierrajohnson717]

never heard of him. i feel like his followers are the people who also follow instagrams instagram.

[@gabyisbejeweled]

wanna bet they’re those people who say “all lives matter”? aka the most vile people on earth

[@laurenajaero346]

@@gabyisbejeweled probably smh

[@lodinggggg]

@@gabyisbejeweled what is wrong with you

[@aliveslice]

@@bob4peers careful they're gonna say it

[@SlavoidUkr]

@@gabyisbejeweled bruh, that's very relevant 😒

[@DragonBornGirl50]

Trust me, we Armenians hate him as much as Kardashian. They're both not really Armenian and don't even speak the language but just in case people think he is I'm telling you they aren't and we disown him gladly. 🙃

[@ohyhyh323]

I mean Americans love the kardashians

[@Dickbooster]

@@ohyhyh323 we really don't.

[@EarlMcManus2005]

Raffi and Gary Kasparov are part of the Armenian diaspora too. You guys have some great ambassadors too, just in case you needed to know.

[@rickdalton9351]

What about Serj Tankian

[@m1chikatsu]

i feel like we all just act like he straight up doesn’t exist 😭

[@esther53156]

WAIT THESE ARE FELONIES can we talk about how impersonating a cop and throwing someone off a building are felonies o.o

[@geetee2694]

There was a PD offering reserve status and a badge, for money. If you look at some of the other people who took advantage of it, it would have been the most bad as unit in police history. The girl was a willing participant, but Dan isn't as strong as he thinks.